Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)

Chapter 16: Brutality and Complexity

Disclaimer: Mario and Co. belong to Nintendo

Author note: I've been waiting for this one.


The statue of Princess Mush IV, contested ruler of 444 AD, remained crumbling and unrepaired, parts and sections scattered in the grass at random places like no one cared. It reminded the boo diddly of.. well.. Everyone in Toad Town and beyond knew at this point. Puffs of smoke dotted the skyline and businesses were boarding up their windows. The last fool that challenged Booigi ii orbited above like a 'shooting star', the gleam in the boo's eye rivaling such as followers of their cause, many armed, amassed. By the power of Eldstar, every single one of those toad oppressors would be extinguished!

Chuck, the spike Booigi met yesterday approached with a new letter, more than usual discomfort across his visage. A threat? Another baseless rumor? Would it be pirates this time? They'd dedicated Chuck to trekking back and forth from Parakarry's office. He'd had many messages so far, none of their foes bold enough to infiltrate the park and personally confront them yet. Booigi unfolded it, written neat with a steady hand.

'I'm heading down. One hour I'll be there and one more I can stay. Mario and I have no choice. I know it was you who started this. We need to talk, 'buddy'."

A glimmer of 'Boo Diddley' resurfacing, Booigi ii flipped it around to the single green spotted wheelchair bound toad huddling in the group.

"Let him." Mitch chuckled darkly.


A snifit mask fogged up from his strained gasps in the thin air and icicles forming in his eyelashes could not blot out the nagging sense that a bad guy was in close proximity, snapping the officer out of the dizzied state the sub-orbital launch plunged him in.

"Halt! I hope you are staying on the straight and narrow!" Snift Patrol lectured, the menacing iron and flesh villain flying alongside him picking it up with super audial receptors.

Iggy Delta broke out of his campy action pose; two fists jutting forward like Super Koopa, and waved back. It was rocket thrusters that placed him in the exosphere instead of a tennis racket. "I like being bad, sorry officer. Executing: 'Find Backstabbing Friends Desu'!"

"What happened?"

"Theft. AGAIN... I wanted to call them out but, I don't know, something stopped me..".

"..I'll let cha by with a warning," the snufit drawled, aware his salutation book was long gone anyway. "Iggy, when I joined my first vigilante gang some of those friends weren't very friendly to be frank. I found a team where we respected everyone. That's most important."

Iggy Delta drew a blank almost when the half frozen snufit didn't patronize like expected. "-I know, but I was so confused at times, more than irrational pattern functions, don't worry you don't need to know what that is, because when not beguiling they genuinely did some cool stuff for me like get me out of the basement a lot and dive me to cons and get me into clubs and kicked out of clubs and almost within six feet of attractive females- a personal best! "

"I see. If you are convinced they deserve a second chance you should see if they're willing to apologize and return your paraphernalia. If not, I can arrest them!"

"Ooh with the electric behavioral correction rod?"

Snifit Patrol patted around his holster. "I hope you mean 'taser', because yes indeedy! Meet me back up here and please don't take the law-"

He was already gone.

"-Into your own hand.."

….

Iggy Delta soared gung-ho though darkened tropical skies, activating x-ray vision to find his targets on the dolphin shaped island. Looks like their getaway/vacation was a bummer. The coastal Delfino Plaza was a ghost town. Further inland natives could be seen safely in upper floors of buildings or under ground level terraces to shelter from rain. He tuned in his hyper sensitive audio capturing..

"I swam and swam, swimmingly out of the way brah, and ouch that stuff still hurts!" some raccoon at a fruit stand was saying to a yoshi.

Useless. Iggy Delfa reformulated for 3.4343 seconds. The cyborg blast off in a Westward location. Sunshine Airport was closed for weather. Ricco Harbor was also non-operational, with a colossal shipwreck at the port. It appeared the rescue of the cargo ship had already concluded. As he traveled closer to Sirena Beach the clouds grew exceptionally black and thick, the sunlight unable to penetrate at all. Dipping below, the beach, Hotel Delfino, everything had vanished, replaced with an inky shiny substance, at ocean level. The molecules of the water and other substance would not mix, making distinct blotch of black in the water that sizzled and rippled defiantly as rain patter it. In disbelief, the cyborg dove closer, rescanning. He detected concrete and metal and inorganic followed by organic material beneath him. His heart thumped harder. The hotel was there all along, depressed at least fifty feet down with the chasm filled to the top with that- 'stuff.' Addicted to new discovery, the genius poured all his computing resources into identifying the gunk, dropping closer, two feet away.

"YOU A RE N EXT."

The goop writhed, it gurgled, it acknowledged him as a tentacle like mass whipped out at the speed of lightning. Iggy Delta evaded by a millimeter, rocketing blindly to the closest land, the mountains behind the hotel site. His clumsy landing in the supple wet soil embedded half his body. He wanted to feel like a Shōnen protagonist not.. Those other types of manga!

Whoosily he unearthed, the prominence of the friendship woes fading. Something unnatural happened here. He turned to the left, catching sight of an alcove in the mountains with survivors. He couldn't believe his ocular sensors. Someone was carrying around a bell! He fired five lasers on the spot.

"Yowch!" The bellhop dropped the molten brass object, blowing over and kissing his fingers. "Stop playing around and get in here! And definitely don't try to dive in the goop!"

"Whoops, I thought.. Nevermind. What's going on, man?"

The bellhop shrugged.

Developing the hypothesis from scratch it was.. The pianta kept his distance as Iggy entered, flushing from his over reaction at Hotel Delfino's old desk bell. There were others present, a few with flashlights, spotted around or behind the lava stalagmites. Swoopers screeched distantly. By a more mechanically enhanced survey, Iggy determined there were thirty here, possibly more in other caves.

"Hang tight!" The bellhop tossed a fresh hotel embroidered towel in his face. "Not to be rude, uh, mecha-koopaling brah. Some splattered on you!"

As Iggy wiped off with more embarrassment, there was a gasp. Someone heavily stomped closer, bumping others, cracking a stalagmite or two. Slamondon, alone, prostrated himself before Iggy. His shredded robe revealed cauterized spots and the lower part of his chin was discolored, like he'd bitten through his lip at one point.

"Please forgive me!"

"-I do! Um.. W-where's Sam?"

Slam rose slowly, and Iggy knew. He shot out the cave, through that poisonous black cloud and into the unadulterated crest of the atmosphere. Some goop hiding beneath his calculator watch began to react, dissolving the resin band and searing him like a million soldering guns jabbing him at once. He swatted at his wrist repeatedly to make it stop. Worse, Snifit Patrol was untraceable on his radar. He could be anywhere in the solar system.


Shrewdly choosing the most empty table in the prison's outside eating court, the sight of some familiar scoundrels was like the amber sun above peeking through the clouds to the noki.

"-No, my mom is working on my bail," Azul the blue, or mostly orange in the jumpsuit, shy guy explained from the table. "She'll only need to take like sixteen hundred more extra shifts at the Li'l Oink farm."

"You can't contribute?" snorted Dr. Terrace. His uniform, even unbuttoned, was taut around the whomp's square back. His tray was picked though, he ate the proteins, skipped the veggies.

"I converted all my gold bars to digital before that market crashed hard, so I just joined a MLM last week. After recruiting a few people I'll make bank, even from jail! Y'all will be my downline right?"

"What does that entail?" The elderly toad beside him was intrigued yet cautious. "Nothing unethical I hope? It's usually never that easy."

Azul drew out a long sigh. "Look, we're already locked up for conspiracy. Heard of that double jeopardy thing? Are you in or not?" He slumped, arms folded coolly.

Dr. Terrace smirked. "Put me as a 'maybe', child."

"-We're getting distracted! Stop it!" exploded the toad to the right of Terrace, Nass Toad, the fourth and final at that table. Her black hair hung limp and oily, almost unrecognizable if not for her designer prescription glasses. "We are to focus on (escaping..) so we can confront Theodore over tricking us and eventually I can…" She teared up, prompting Mariam to pat her hand from the opposite side. "..Speak to my daughter.. Like I should have before." She blushed and thanked the distaff toad, then hardened particularly to the men. "Capeesh?"

They nodded obediently.

"-Do you mind, Madame? I don't need directions this time. Thanks." Jelectro slid onto the bench next to the older toad, '(Mariam?)' as he'd just bothered to learn.

Her face sparkled in recognition of that 'hot' exotic visitor, causing the men to gawk and Nass to spit a little of her water.

"-I will be short." Jelectro dramatically uncovered the Couples Cake. "I am thirty-five today! Shame my useless, uh.. 'assistant' forgot about that can't-eat-alone quirk of this scrumptious dessert. Any takers?"

"I despise inept assistants." Nass slid her tray forward, the mushy food on it half eaten. "But I'm full, thank you." That was echoed by Dr. Terrace and lil rascal Azul. Meanwhile Mariam remained fixed on it, licking her lips even. A bit peculiar for an eighty year old with two empty trays before her, but it would work for him.

With the cake to them alone, both raised their safety composite material sporks together, and gave a toast with the paper water cups. "Bon appetit."

"Thank you, dearie."

Then she impossibly dug in alone, devouring the small cake in seconds. The noki resigned himself until there were crumbs left. He sort though it with his spork, poking at an unexpectedly plastic knife within.

"Merde," he growled. Amongst the watchmen outside the fence was the strollin stu Agent 0088, his old civilian name lost in the sands of time, ogling the noki. Jelectro knew he was French, but he did not deserve betrayal THAT bad. He massaged his temple preemptively. He wouldn't be outside the cell again today. This was his only chance.

"-It's Zip Toad!" a guard squealed, with a passcode and to open the floodgates to the outside world. That prompted troves to abandon their post and swarm the celebrity on the property outskirts, unseen by the public since three years ago.

Jelectro left the table with the pan. "Good luck doctors," he purred. With his short height and the abrupt lack of supervision, he closed in for a better view unhindered.

"-Autograph? PLEASE?"

"No me!"

"ME!"

As they crowd in, the blonde celebrity backed up until his foot dipped in the air. Pebbles dislodged by his sneakers rolled down the steep hill the jail sat on.

"Get back you animals!" he barked, whipping out a gun at them.

"Oh no, it's a banana! That thing Zip T. had a relapse over! Get it away from him!"

A warden lunged into Zip T, propelling both off the precipice. They tumbled relentlessly half the way down, whacking together against a large boulder.

"Retrieve him, idiots!" radioed the senior officer from the look-out tower.

Her underlings scaled down the treacherous area, dreading the lawsuit certain to ensue, or conversely eager to prove how capable they were after that embarrassing fawning over a Z-lister. The most quick and sprightly of such kneeled with the dazed victims, whereupon their vision whited out for a second. Now a strollin stu was in the spot of Zip T., banged up and bruised. The officer that initially fell tugged the flabbergasted guard's arm.

"Dylan, behind you!"

A torrent of orange inmates made the earth rumble, their downward momentum breaking through the guard's attempt at a blockade. Scattering into the city below, some officers were squashed. Others like Agent 0088, were dragged along, and the unscathed remaining gave chase. The watchtower was so tall, by the time the senior warden was on the ground, she was alone in a completely silent mess hall. The tables were empty. Food trays forgotten. Papers were blown about by the wind. The woman broke a glass box, retrieving the Squirt Gun Thing encased inside. She charged away with a war cry, leaping over a covered cake pan on the floor.

The silver pan lifted. Jelectro picked the lock in the offices with his binned items, then changed into his normal getup, leisurely taking the nice pathway out of that place, blending in with tourists at least close enough. The secret agent simpered about not only getting out, but with his secret identity intact. Unfortunately he was nowhere near the Keelhaul river, rather in a maze-like shopping district. He had a drilling headache from that grand scale projection illusion, perhaps the biggest he'd ever conjured and he didn't want any shopkeeper to gape at the only noki in rural Poshley Heights scuttling around and with a worsening nosebleed. He cut through a shady tree filled park where he could sense there was only one soul around. He went all the way though, crunching on unraked leaves from last autumn, without coming up on that other person. He thought little of it until in direct sun again, it remained shadowy over his body.

The noki spun and lanced the newly materialized attacker in the abdomen with the plastic knife. They locked eyes as blue blood glistened from broken skin. Jelectro swiped under his Hawaiian shirt, his experimental freeze gun missing. The noki's turn to circum to distraction, the attacker smashed a mini practice amplifier over his head. Later he'd realize it still worked, because it was a Peavey.

"I dare say you cannot park there," warned the gentlemanly parking enforcer.

"Yeah, hehe?" The steely eyed illegal parker slammed down the trunk of his black wide bodied sedan before the toad came around and slapped a ticket on him. Shortly stuck at a blaring railroad crossing, the driver checked himself out in the side mirror, feeling around his jaw, pleased he remained below the threshold of having too much greying stubble for a snorkel to fit properly.


The rainbow haired koopaling shifted the stiff seats. If only he'd packed his travel cushion, or anything actually. This place didn't have coloring books either, making it a mild form of torture if the Lemmy was honest. At least they were long past Riverside Station. Brown terrain adopted a steady gradient to green. Soon cultivated fields and asymmetrical victorian style homes with turrets and pastel colors were perceptible through the dusty glass.

Ludwig accepted a wrapped protein bar spontaneously from a steward passing by and scoffed it down. Then a second and third. Lemmy thought about how used to hate such foods, equating them to an experiment in Iggy's basement. After requesting the fourth, Ludwig caught himself and pocketed it for later in the green knitted shawl from Kammy. The change in appetite, claws darkening at the quick, and dull appearance of scales.. Lemmy silently determined his brother needed an intervention about the symptoms of his chronic lack of sleep. Could it explain even replacing him with Wendy?

He placed it aside, determined to not become negative. Get pumped!

"-Are ya Luddy?.. Pumped I mean?.. Fun fact: where we're going is where my troupe blew those snooty Cirque du Angry Solei jerks off the stage."

That got his brother to look at him head on, just not like how he meant. A painted hard clay mask of an Angry Sun from a costume chest was topically his disguise for the journey. "Understand.. That.." He cleared the scratchiness from his throat. "My actions up until and including now were not to vex you. In due time I will explain-"

Both were slung out of their seats by the train breaking. As the amount of passengers onboard rapidly diminished, Ludwig found his will to obey divine orders, purportedly, (he couldn't rule out being a lunatic) oozing out of him at about the same rate. A bob-omb buddy in an engineer cap had a checklist to verify everyone, miffed at the sight of a koopaling and artsy clown. No matter his opinion, Lemmy possessed a work pass to travel anywhere, even in 'wartime' so they were free. The glossy floors of the train station were slick to them yet absolutely no one else, at least if wearing shoes. Thick marble pillars held up renaissance painted high ceiling, amplifying the clamor of patrons from the market tents, locomotives shuffling, and well to do toads, bob-bomb, and bumpty walkers inclinded to stop and be talkative smack in the middle anywhere they happened to be, including the revolving doors out.

Lemmy froze. "BRB."

"Lemmy!" Ludwig scanned for him unsuccessfully though the slits in his mask. Exasperated, he yanked it downwards some to peer at some high mounted monitors over the ticket station with train schedules, intending to read the time of day. To his horror, there was a banner scrolling on the bottom.

'LIVE Breaking news: King's respresentitve murdered in Toad Town by Mushroomite using futuristic freezing weapon. Riots start. Mr. Toad revived from Mushroom Flu, informs King's servants that insurrection is caused by alien mind control. King's servants continue to investigate in the absence of Princess Peach, currently kidnapped by Bowser. Reports state Tatanga was at yesterday's tennis game. Journalists speculate this coincides with attack affecting beautiful Princess Daisy of Sarasaland…not that we care about her…(The writer of that portion is now fired)…Speaking of beauty, you can find the Traveling Sisters downtown at..!'

Ludwig wobbled from side to side.

"Drink!" Someone nearly knocked him over, shoving a blue surgery slurpee drink into his face. Ludwig chugged half of it before he pushed the jumbo sized cup away from him. Lemmy gave him space then. "Better? What was that about?"

Enduring the brain freeze, Ludwig explained, "Our enemies, adept as they are in creating their own scandals, have made strides in ruining us. That is what!"

Downtown was less showy and picture estique than the celebrity villages and country offerings, rather aiming to be serene and pleasure filled, featuring brick paved sidewalks tepid by the afternoon sun and innumerable clubs, shops and inns. Citizens with top hats, canes, clutch purses, or a well groomed poochy on a leash, strolled directly in the middle of the street, vehicles rare, like they'd traveled back in time. A pedestrian overtaken by curiosity of a koopaling and a 'clown' meandering around would step in their way with a 'pardon me' or such drivel, which Lemmy would expertly respond to with a 'talk to the hand' gesture. Too peculiar apparently to be ignored, this delayed them all the way to the bookstore, not the primary reason Ludwig wanted Lemmy to accompany him, but one of them. Ludwig's other spot was thankfully close, across a suspension bridge spanned a slightly wide yet under used canal.

The granite Auditorium for Conscientious Villainy stood behind eighth flagpoles of each major kingdom with an infamous flower arrangement of a Bowser Flag in the lawn- which some moving truck had driven trenches all over. A magikoopa with a long silver goatee, followed by a slew of others carrying suitcases and carry-on bags filed outside the auditorium, the final one dropping his keys in the hands of the toad officers manning the door.

That sick feeling returning, Ludwig stepped up. "What is the matter?"

A more middle aged magikoopa at the back of the group broke off while the others continued. The koopaling recognized that blue one as a recruiter. "Wonderful to see you, Prince Ludwig. We sent a message out rush delivery, of course Parakarry is so unreliable sometimes. We had to dissolve as of today." He sorrowfully watched his brothers load the vehicle. "The King insists on rebuilding his daughter's castle here and their tolerance of us was already tentative you know."

"-Elder, my claiming responsibility for destroying Peach's castle was a ruse, one of many unforeseen events yesterday. You have persisted here for decades! I never fathomed- that-"

The elder gave him a bittersweet smile, pressing a thin flimsy momento into his hand. "Your diabolical schemes are unmatched. Only, the fun and friendly rivalry between us and the Mushroom folk can not last."

Yes. It. Should! Eldstar, the epitome of 'fairness', requires good and bad both to exist and spar for the sake of balance. It dawned that the effects of the Great star being unreachable had rippled down to their world already.

Lemmy felt the urge to mark a more up to date minute hand on his scribbled on watch. He didn't afterall, able to feel deep within that it was approximately correct. Meaning..he was late.

The old postmaster from Toad Town had a shift at the bookstore that day, organizing and sorting a vintage collection of 'Rocks: What they are and where to find them'. (Best seller in Stone Ages. If Lemmy encountered the paratroopa while his troupe was in town, this being their cozy wind down spot, they kept it affable. This was someone who remembered times before his dad ever invaded the Mushroom Kingdom. Sitting on the couches the store featured, primarily only paying attention to the pictures in old books, the parakoopa would commend Lemmy for assimilating, apparently under the impression that Lemmy cut Koopa Troop ties. To his credit, the koopaling had not revealed to even family what his end goal was with the balancing act on stage and in the Troop. That was for another day. When Lemmy asked for 'Ex Spatio Obiecti Specialem Lexicon", the mature paratroopa raised his voice for the first time ever, drilling into him that it contained 'dangerous' information. Crotchety and relenting once it was all spilled out, also enticed by coins, the book keeper wrapped the book delicately with parchment tied with a string so 'thieves' wouldn't pry. Now this was getting kinda interesting, continuing when an escaped criminal on a bike almost flattened Lemmy outside the store, the koopaling needing to cartwheel away for safety.

Some officers carrying a giant water gun blasted the koopa off, continuing to hose him into the waiting open paddy wagon. That was neat and frightening, so much that Lemmy took the longer tranquil suspension bridge route to mellow out. He was so slow in his opinion without the ball, he might as well enjoy it. As he slid his paws over the bridge's rail, often something gold slithered around in the olive colored water thirty feet below, fish he guessed. Less ambiguous, a gondola drifted underneath with a spiffy human captaining it and female noki on the rear holding a lorgnette, whispering a lot between them.

Paranoid from the postmaster's advisory, Lemmy hastened across to the rendezvou, a fountain with shy guy and cheep cheep statues and his brother sitting on the edge, snout buried in his hands. He was maskless, the shawl slung over his back, and had no badge fixed to him, unless it was invisible and its specific effect was making Ludwig look like a miserable corpse.

Lemmy plastered on a smile. "One outta two ain't bad!"

Ludwig accepted the package with a quiet thanks, holding it up, gracing the edges with his claw and then tucking it under his arm.

"-Hey. Are you okay?"

Eyes clenched shut, "I've only inadvertently snuffed out the institution that could have awarded me something that proves to Vater that I am worthy of succeeding him is all..."

A chill went though Lemmy. "O-oh… That's why huh? Umm.." He stepped away, pacing a bit. "You have a million talents. You can't accept things?"

Ludwig shot upwards. "We aren't children anymore! It's not about greed or ambition or arbitrarily because I am oldest! I yearn for the salvation of our people and while I sincerely believe Vater does as well, we have seen him all our lives fall into habits that have historically brought his predecessors their downfall!" He took a deep breath. "However, I was too savy for my own good-"

"Luddy. Don't give up the scheme like that.."

"Cease it Lemmy. I bleated all about it while you took one hour two minutes. I expired last night my own opportunity before we obtained our tickets here."

Lemmy again had that petrified expression. "..Can I ask you something? About last night?"

He perked up. "What?"

"Can you tell me the thing you're not telling me?"

"Can you?"

"Yes."

"You first."

"Nooo it was my idea, so you first!" Lemmy half teased.

Ludwig paused solemnly. He knew this was inexorable. "Notwithstanding rational explanations, merciful gods have tasked me to locate malicious star entities whose leader possessed and executed me last night.."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Lemmy gunned down the block so quickly the gust knocked Ludwig into the fountain. He climbed out and followed his brother into a more populated spot where people shrieked or fled. Lemmy stopped at a cross roads, his thumb in the air.

"I am not being fictitious! I was not supposed to even share that with you and, and-"

This time Lemmy's powerful 'talk to the hand' gesture knocked Ludwig back like a force field, clashing into the pottery of the storefront behind him. "That is crazy Luddy. I'll take a cab home.. I can't right now. I just can't!"

On cue walking traffic thinned and a black sedan, marked 'CAB' rolled by. Lemmy swung inside. Ludwig kept close, waving for attention for another block, the pedestrians ahead holding the vehicle at single digit speeds. An animated discussion was occurring inside he could tell. He hoped the cabbie didn't take plastic. Once they'd strayed towards another rural portion of the city that river sliced through, it was a typical obstacle free road for cars.

Lemmy glared at Ludwig from the side mirror. "Hit the pedal to the metal!" he ordered the driver.

"You better remember the pin later.." the pink boo hissed.

The car backfired, noxious smoke blocking Ludwig. He couldn't afford to be deader than dead. When it cleared the car was gone. He ran his claws through his hair, some of which fell out in a clump. Whittling away exponentially anguished him as well. Instantaneously he felt stretched in so many directions! Biting back trepidation he jogged again, keeping to the bank river and following the street, praying there were no turn offs. Gentlemen with sticks and ladies with parasols responding to reports of koopalings in the neighborhood began to hunt him down. This was the brutality and complexity of his existence now. As Lemmy touched on astutely, he would have to accept it.

"-Monsieur Koopa," half yelled a French sounding woman.

Ludwig lugged his attention to the gondola.

"Get-a discount ride today. Got-a special someone? Wish I-a did.." the human carrying the ores grunted, Italian accent heavier than a Mario brother's. "50 coins."

The noki woman stubbed his toe. "Lets cut ze act. Monsieur Koopa, We are after zhat 'cab' too. Climb aboard!"


The Southern Hospital had their deluxe recovery spaces at the fringes of the Toad Town border. Consequently it was the only part of town where a native rancher or cowboy might catch a glimpse of those famous Mushroom Buses that strayed down exactly once a day, about now actually.

The spotted bus arrived at the stop, its tiny double doors opening with a perceived hesitance. Someone standing back in an adventurer's garb, a red scarf, a headlamp and weighty backpack, held his excitement by a thread as a few trickled out, excruciatingly slow. Some bus riders had brought their Yoshis on board, who did not want to step off. He would not blame them if they were as intelligent as that other notable one.

He plopped down on the bench, affording him a view that reminded him of why he didn't bother to date. Toadette and Bucken-Berry were still fighting right outside Mr. Toad's door!- the tagalong, a young red toad, quivering in a barrel. Finally, after a mutual shove, the toadette rebounding solidly against the barrel, the blue toad stormed off. The barrel flipped and rolled against the side of the house. The young toad scored out, apologized to Toadette who didn't hear it likely over her own crying and slamming of Mr. Toad's door as she retreat in, and chased Bucken-Berry, only after looking at The Captain from afar first.. Like he knew things he shouldn't.

"-Blessings unto you, Captain!"

The Captain whipped around, almost missing his most wondrous brigade standing there, the remaining departing people weaving around them. He brightened like a star festival. Two held gifts.

"You too, my crew. You shouldn't have!" When he reached for Yellow Toad's polka dot wrapped present box, he lifted it out of reach. The Captain was predictably unable to hop for it with his backpack on.

"Captain, this.. is.. for... ZZZZZZ!"

The Captain gave up with a sigh. "Wake up Jörg!"

"The miraculously recovered Mr. Toad will need lots of electrolytes and supplements, Captain." Hint Toad was the second one with a gift, matched gift wrap, though taller and taped more neatly.

The Captain directed the death glare to him. "Heinemann, no more hints."

"-It wasn't. That's the only reason we, uh, like came." Mailtoad retrieved from his pocket a hidden third gift, a gift card.

"Mordecai, now you? Bowser has returned to his kidnapping ways and right now we have a grand opportunity before us to assist in her rescuing efforts! Oh and there may also be treasure involved. Ready for adventure?" The Captain triumphantly marched a little ways towards the road to Mt. Rugged, mortified that he was alone.

"-You aren't listening, Stanley," spoke up a calm yet firm speaking light green toad. Banktoad possessed a matching headlamp and a not so matching arm sling, The Captain's nephew, six months older than him in a mundanely interesting way. "As we keep saying, we bought overpriced tickets and rushed over from Darker Side because we want to support Mr. Toad, not to go on an adventure with you."

The Captain grit his teeth. "Fine. Why don't you lead the way, Bill?"

In the short walk, the brigade were already going 'ooh' and 'ahh' at amazing new sights like shy guys riding ostros, shanty cabins, tumbleweeds, flowering cacti, cowboys wrangling, and other so-called wonders of Southern Mushroom Kingdom. The Captain waited yet again while the brigade visited Toad, now on the steps of the porch. Idly he'd play with pressing strategic locations of arteries to block blood flow and make something to numb, something he was fascinated with on occasion. He began to fret after twentyish minutes. The Mario brothers were going to rescue the princess as soon as they returned from that urgent thing in Toad Town, Toad's silly theory obfuscating the King's guards more than it should have really. His brigade HAD to beat them to the princess.

A door opened, unleashing a roar of laughter from Yellow and Hint Toad. The others including Toadette were in more subdued conversation. She semi supported Banktoad's left side, opposite of the broken arm, together colliding with the others when Captain Toad blocked them suddenly.

"Ms. Toadette, pleasant to see you. We now not only collect Green Stars and coins, but also artifacts."

She sort of forced curtsy as Banktoad was rolling his eyes. "Hi. You don't say, Captain?"

"-And the 'Doom Reverb' Zoo Diddley owned was one we've encountered and disposed of in the past!"

Alarmed and annoyed alike she said, "Is that a flex? That's literally like the impetus to.. Ugh! How did Zoo get it back?"

"Ma'am, if malignant we bury artifacts in Fahr Outpost where the soil deep freezes for eight months every year!" Hint Toad impulsively volunteered. "We're still investigating!"

"-So there's more of those out there and we're running on conjecture.." Toadette leaned against a support beam, growing pale in consternation.

Not going how he planned, The Captain yanked his nephew off the porch by the ear, whispering, "You fancy her, do you not? Help me out here!"

Appalled, "She just broke up with a boyfriend of five years!" He pushed him away with his good arm. "And because of you, look at her now."

Captain Toad huffed, then spoke out loud, "Yes, look at her now, all because I recall it was William who lost track of it Saraland during our last expedition!"

"-Because you 'accidentally' shoved me off a sphinx. Captain!.. The injury I'm currently recovering from!"

"Oh right how could I forget? ..Well anyway, There are many more like that one, proof being the state of Bowser's Castle and this morning the out of season hurricane that hit Isle Delfino."

Yellow Toad flushed. "Captain, we were around there when our jet hit wake turbulence and lost 8000 feet of altitude! I thought we would die but then…ZZZZ.."

"Well it must not have been that scary. Mordecai, give Ms. Toadette this apocrypha. She may borrow it to learn a little more of our new specialty."

Without contestation, Mailtoad passed the thick book from The Captain's backpack to Toadette, who was not going to entertain the offer until seeing it was a lexicon of sorts, explicitly stamped as being library owned. She thought about it as weightily as she could in those few seconds.

"Thank you, but.. I'm burnt out on that now. Let me.. Check on Mr. Toad. I think he needs something.." she said, backing up into his room and shutting the door, pressing her back against and breathing. She couldn't create a leveraging opportunity for a squad of toads, or specifically their Captain who had become more obsessive since the times when she went treasure hunting with them.

Toad leaned up from his bed. "You okay, homegirl?" Voice stronger by a tad, he was looking better, half his space flooded with gifts, including the Brigade's imported beef jerky and vitamins, and the other with a tarp covering the zapper damage.

"Quick. What's Mario's new number? We need to give him a heads up about something if you don't mind.."

Outside, the Captain repacked the book, successful in arguing with pulling out of ear range his team a little ways down from those houses, alongside a farm pasture with moo moos. He was at his wits end. If they all agreed it was not coincidence, then they should understand that they could not miss this opportunity to delve into Bowser, harboring the minion, or even being the direct cause somehow of those unusual disasters.

Finally, hot at his brigade's continued reluctance to get involved, he picked up a rusty horseshoe, spun back to them, and bashed his own face in with it. Again and again, until blood ran down from his brow ridge.

"Okay!" his brigade shout at once.

Satisfied he dropped it. The joke was on them. He'd made that spot numb, of course the pain would return later so.. Okay maybe he didn't completely win on that one.


"Let's GO! Get out there! DO SOMETHING!"

"You're mimicking Bowser!"

"It's sir to you, and uh, no I wasn't.." the stealthy, except for his blushing, lakitu muttered to the koopatrol. "Man the borders already, squirt!"

As there was swampy ground to stand on semi solidly, the Koopa Troop secured the region of Sky Land around Bowser Tower, which was coming along nicely, more space available than they possessed provisions to fill at the moment. Every KT did not have a bed exactly, but they could claim a ten by ten partition, an upgrade for many, as their own within the tower. Since the most scavenged thing was weaponry, that filled otherwise vacant floors, cannons protruding out windows and crates of ammo stacked so frequently it became like furniture, and not too shabby, as long as one didn't light a match..

A paragoomba on the rooftop's edge shook like a leaf following a lady's shriek.

"You! Take me to the gate thing! I'm totes serious! Daddy has the dry bones marking outlines EVERYWHERE! He's ruining my campaign!" The furious koopaling's arms were full of hot pink flyers, a few blowing away where Hippity Hop could see.

"Vote Princess Wendy O. for Neo Bowser City! She will be strong, fair, her beauty will pervade all, we will kidnap men for equality, and most importantly she will promote the permanent destruction of plumbers! Help her reshape the world into a less 'tacky' place!"

Good thing she was too busy tantruming to notice Hippity's grimace. "Yes, my lady.."

She grabbed on as he flew her erratically over green hills. Five seconds in the sixteen year old regret it. Kamek or Kammy on a dollar store broom would have been quicker.. However she'd also catch old people cooties so nevermind…

….

Meanwhile, also high in the sky, Sentry 11 had within his crosshairs all slackers, sweeping over the thousand or so minions, abandoned boats, and building outlines, inching to find a stationary one and pounce-

"-Instigating, J.D.?"

"Oof!" The sentry's binoculars bounced around slippery sweaty fingers. "I mean, just clocking slouchers, Boss."

Kamek skeptically shook his head, flying along on a broken vacuum. Soak and wet, it appeared he'd been attempting to dry it out by this method. "You weren't about to pester Prince Larry?"

"Course not!" Obscured by the cloud, the lakitu cracked his knuckles..

"Considering Lord Bowser pardoned him for conspiring with the princess, I'd hope so! Hmm.." the magikoopa went, thoughtfully. "You ever do a Turkish bath?"

"No?"

"Kammy and I were given permission to dedicate a floor to it. You know, with this kind you take off your clothes and-"

"-Know what Boss? I'll just, uh, patrol ova there..." Shivering, the lakitu got away, disappointingly for him too far to spy anyone on a certain teenager with a blue mohawk.

On the ground, Larry briefly had his shell against the side of a big gravel pile, phone in hand. An unlikely account he followed actually responded to his private message, a perk of being the only Koopaling, or high ranking KT at all with an unflagged for villainous activity social media page. He declared his 'break' over and joined the workforce of the first project. The usual dynamic, the zealous, those striving to rank up, or the chatty kept close to their leaders, the koopalings in this case, and the more anti-social, shy, or one's just doing their job hung in the back precisely to avoid the first group. It was there where Larry waited behind one of the larger minions preparing sections of the frame, Thwomp #3. He was older than most KT with worn dull spikes. Not hearing him speak until just then, as he did some sort of metric conversion for the struggling fire brother in front of him, he sounded almost… Mushroomy. Larry would know with plenty of online friends there.. But he had enough on his mind..

The future fortress site was in the shadow of Bowser Tower, directed by Morton and Roy. The thunder brothers as they were being called now, had it under control in their own chaotic way, slapping together prefab parts rapidly, building a hollow and revealingly miniature structure about a fifth the size of Bowser's Castle and half the size of a typical Fortress they'd erect and uglify an seized area with. The baddies shuffled inside. Hammer bro variants joined together wooden parts, the rocky wrenches handed nuts and bolts, monty moles dug out additional landscape, goombas and buzzy beetles relay blocks from outside, whomps and thwomps pulverized slabs of stone into said blocks, and most noisy of all, a frying noise emanate from two bald heads as Roy and Morton dithered over a part of the blueprints..

"Junior wants the sandcastle over there! Quickly! Godspeed!" Morton pointed to the right.

Roy snatched the papers from him. "Dats upside down. His swimming pool's there. Let's just ask Nerd Breath. Whadya think?" Roy waggled the blueprints before Iggy, 2D looking and perpetually holding one expression. To Larry it remarkably looked like a hologram, but that would be ridiculous..

"..."

"Magnificent point, Iggster. We should do nothing for Junior, for he is spoiled rotten, pampered, coddled like a baby! Let us construct him the most monotonous castle ever!" Morton suggested, to some rarely seen praise towards him.

All the koopalings, with some penitence depending on which, had moments where they dipped into some Junior bashing. It clicked to Larry then what was going on.

Larry casually came up to the tyke, drawing in the mud outside the construction zone with a spare bone from a dry bone. He made out a crude looking pointy building or something, further affirming his suspicions.

"Yo, had a blast at Koopa Scouts?"

"Yes yes yes!"

"Dang, wish I could be one. Like, that getup is tight yo, with the dirt flaking off ya and and the bandana n junk."

Junior continued to doodle. "Sure," he answered perfunctorily.

"You ain't hype over that? Bro, you bout to get a fresh fortress right next to our freakin dad! He's gonna share his pay-per-view and watch ya constantly and never let you leave his sight-"

"That's the problem! I miss camp and my friends and teachers and how I'm not gonna get to go back anymore.."

Bewildered, Larry tilted his view around. The drawing was of an elaborate tent. "...You miss the way it was. Don't cha?"

Junior nodded in a mopy way he hadn't seen since his pet ran off and he was told he couldn't have another. He glanced around in an unsubtle way, cupped his hands and whispered, "I'm gonna be tutored all the time and stuff now. I heard daddy and grandpa and even grandma talking about it.."

Was the grass always greener for the favorite? Larry slowly realized not. "Well, hang in there and let me take some of that weight off of you. Like literally." He pointed to the giant gold key that snuggly fit in Junior's back pocket.

"That's the key to the fortress thingy." Junior threw it to the ground, hearing 'literal' as littering. Close enough.

Larry scooped it up. "I know that. Know what else? Dad's too lazy to buy unique locks."


"Nooooo! Noooooooooooooo!"

With bleeding ears, Hippity and his passenger landed at the KT owned boundary in Sky Land. Wendy kicked off of him six feet from the ground and stormed at the three people at the gate.

"Who is that?!" Wendy dropped her flyers down. The koopatrol Tanner, the koopa troopa Johnson, and the unknown toad girl stared and blinked. "Well?"

Tanner gave a salute. "Princess Wendy! Umm.. Emery T. just arrived, King Bowser's latest soldier from yesterday!"

The toad removed the scarlet scarf forming a hood, revealing her orange spots and messy black medium length hair. She was dirty and unbothered by it, evidently traveling some distance on foot and equally on top of that soaked painting a few yards away. "Yep, what he said. What's up- Oops I mean, I await your command… Especially if I get to see King's new getup. That'd be awesome!"

Wendy continued to scrunch her nose at the mud covered toad girl, however since that wasn't an enemy affiliated with vile plumbers after all, she could salvage this. "How about YOU folks, go to the city and hand this out?" She pressed the flyers on them.

"Princess. These are.. Brilliant. "Well trained, Johnson flashed an eager disposition, at least while she was looking. "By what means will we travel?"

"You got feet don't cha? Or wings for Flippity Flop-"

"Princess it's-!" Hippity spat.

"-Thanks, you are soooooo kind!" she sang, leaving them with her heaps of propaganda.

Delegating to minions like her brother Ludwig had mastered freed her to stop those fortresses from popping up everywhere. Could she see such hideousness in kingdoms she'd love to own, like Water Land? Of course not, so they were going to need to be weaned off the habit now! Next time, she might even have the confidence to contest plans directly to her father. Baby steps Wend, because another fault she was discovering was that she was abysmal at navigating, lost in the endless fog filled fields. She located the same landmark thrice now. This time at least she'd remember to snap a photo for her friends in the dungeon.

The obelisk in the middle of nowhere was captivating, so dark it sucked in light around it, like a rectangular area of the universe was cut out unless she was super close and could discern the raised small characters on it. Her attempts to get a good angle in with the camera was a failure, turning out blurry, or corrupting on memory. She flung the stupid phone against it, with a crack. It was okay, she was due an upgrade later this year. She sighed.. what would she use until then? Oh Wendy girl, you gotta think it through if you want to be mayor! Sheepishly she retrieved it at the foot of the obelisk, the right side of her body gracing it as she reached downward. A jolt went through her.

Her lips parted as the secrets of millennia unravel before her eyes.


"Ooh look I-"

"Hush! They locked snacks here too!"

"Okay I'm in!"

"Shhh!"

"I'm in.." Junior squeaked, giggling in the clothing bundle in his little hands.

They peeked around the final corner. Bowser Tower's layout was pancaked compared to the old castle, hiding spots sparse. Larry and Bowser Jr. made it to the 'dungeon', more accurately the 'prison' since it was not underground but arbitrarily on the fourth floor of the tower. The KT hadn't gotten around to individual cells, or proper shackles, only a single locked iron bar door.

With the key inches away from the lock, harsh out of tune singing echoed below them.

"~Yo ho ho, and I hope some kids aren't fooling round up here, and yo ho ho…"

Larry, and Junior after he roped him along, dove behind some stacked crates next to the bars. A second later, Sentry 11 roved about, pausing at the crates. From a slit between them Larry saw the hollow eye of the smiley face etched on his cloud. He held his breath.

"Hey, we need yer help!" Thuds. Then Thwomp #3 came up to the floor. "Junior's fortress is fallin apart at the seams. We used the wrong glue."

The lakitu pivoted around, pinching between his eyebrows. "You don't use GLUE for a fortress, rockhead."

The thwomp put on a dopey, if affected, expression. "Dat splains it.. Check it out will ya?"

Growling, the sentry accompanied him. Larry could have sworn he saw the thwomp baddie wink before spinning his spiky body around. It was go time.

The gate had a strident squeal, swinging open. Larry let it crash against the wall, opening his arms wide and going, "Yo! You're free! Ruuuuunnn!"

He recalled that there was more than a dainty princess and geriatric toad entrapped when the hoard of teenagers trampled him at flat and paper-like as Iggy was looking these days.

"Oh hi mama Peach!" Junior screeched. "Wear this!"

The clack of heels next and someone else, with slower muted steps- "J-Junior?" Covering her mouth, Peach swept into Larry's view, flushing at his brother. "You are assisting us? Why, that is a pleasant surprise. Thank you I suppose." She combed her hair down, composing herself anxiously. "And I am ready."

She slipped on the familiar looking magikoopa robes. One was blue and for Toadsworth, indigo. The toad examined it.

"Tally ho!" he bellowed.

Larry's accordion-like arms popped up, one finger pointed. "Freakin' shhhh!"

Nobody screw this up! The princess was free just in time. It was extra moody and dreary inside, the candles the only source of light then. They had to get to the Giant Land to Sky Land boundary before it stormed again. Dr. Greg of 'BATES', the famous hiphop oriented, bass heavy headphone line was waiting for them.


To be continued:

Author note: It turns out this was globs of chapter again. Whoops! The chapter titled this in 2019 Redux was a special chapter and with that in mind, this one kept blooming like crazy. The pieces are almost in place!

Dates: (Portion split from last 8/9/22) 8/13, 8/14, 8/15, 8/16, 8/17- 20, 21, 8/22-26