Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)
Ouroboros 2 (Chapter 18)
Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo.
Author note: Double feature. Everyone's closer to reuniting- at what cost? While this Uroboros mini series is themed to parallels and such, I've never crammed so many moving, precisely interacting parts into one chapter. Consider it experimental. Remember this is simultaneous with part 1.
(Specifically for the FFnet upload: This isn't the first chapter where this has come up and it won't be the last, regarding special formatting that's not allowed. While I continue to use workarounds for that, take note that the AO3 version looks a little better and is free of those issues.)
'I BESEECH YOU DARE NOT ENTER '
-Z.A.S.
The advisory failed to thwart Millennium Star, confident in his safeguarding purple aura. The ancient one had but one regret visiting the Dark Realm, the deepest channel of the universe. Leaving Rosalina in the lurch was rude and unbecoming, his marginal interpersonal skills escalating with the situation. As the Lord and inventor of time, when he promised an errand would only take a 'split second' it was for others an hour, week, year or eon.. Hopefully not this time..
His destination was near invisible against the dense clouds of dark matter pervading the sector. Argentine and reddish rutile spires rose from the planetoid, a protective hedge around a pure black sun temple. Upon landing a safe distance from that appalling sight, Millennium Star was certain the occupant was not in. No traps activated, no agony generators emerged, the occupant's pet Underchomp did not roam, audibly confined underground and lashing against some colossal chains.
If that crafty devil was not here, where else? The Dark Ztar was, as few believed due to his unsavory character and reputation, a close relative to a Star Spirit. Might that be enough? What might that give him access to unique to other star beings?
A floating arrow platform brought the brown skinned white bearded toad in an orange and gold trimmed robe, King Ed of Sky Land, from his opulent marble castle in the cirrus clouds to the lowest where soldiers were stationed. It had been difficult to call them to coalesce and excruciating to sweep over them afterwards knowing some may be lost. The toads were like his family, the dearth of blood relatives why his weakness was seeking Elysium. A whistleblower on land under the pseudonym of '999' made a vague promise of working something out. An ember of hope then, as of now too late.
He twisted his scepter to suspend the chief officer from sounding the horn, taking one last look at his Tower of Lyribiris, disfigured with a twenty mile perimeter into a Koopa Troop stronghold. They had the KT outnumbered 5000 to the 1000 his lookouts tallied, though the King's men and women possessed only a helmet, parachute, and spear vs formidable cannons, hammers, and other ghastly innate capabilities. True, Water Land utilized a near identical loadout on their comparatively wimpish toads, swapping parachutes with snorkels, to blot out King Morton and his monstrous koopa klan half a century ago, but K. Ed was not half, or even a quarter of the king Omarinon was down there. After all, K. Ed allowed this in the first place by leaving his terrestrial half of the kingdom unguarded! He had no other lands aligned with him, Bowser's hectic pace ahead of news reports for once. As far as most other kingdoms knew, Bowser was hiding somewhere with the Mushroom Kingdom's princess and chancellor captive following that freak thunderstorm in Dark Land.
Well, time to add a hailstorm to it. Unwavering, King Ed gave the signal. His warriors charged under the horn blast.
A pale green shelled koopa troopa jumped, his suitcase dropping to the weathered wooden deck with a clack. The only of his kind in the sea of pionpi, he turned his head.
"Theodore!"
The corners of his thin lips arched downward. At the crowded dock of Surfshine Harbor, a luxurious steam liner prepared to board passengers. A motley bunch weaved around the residents or travelers at the shore beach houses to meet him. The toad ladies had mismatched shirts, pants, and shoes, the shy guy wore a baggy green hoodie covering his blue garb, and the whomp a tan trench coat and newsboy cap.
Nass T. wound a fist back, just like she'd imagined doing countless of times at this point. He caught it, a touch tighter than necessary, and closed the distance by a step, kissing the back of her palm.
"I knew we'd rendezvous. It's scheduled for Chai Kingdom, not the slum parts either, ripe for harvesting." He leaned in, his breath tingling her ear. "Poorer record keeping and they lack those pesky laws."
Bob-omb sailors of The Princess Peach began to shout, "All aboard!"
He pulled away, eyes narrowing. "Sounds alright? Alright."
"Theo," she mewled. "Not again. We are some of the only of doctors that know about the- 'MF'. You once cured it!"
His smile sank quicker than a thwomp in the Great Sea. "And Miss Nasir, have you the tenacity to waltz back into MK East? I presume you welcome the gallows."
"No, I.. W-was suggesting-"
"-Replacing you will be arduous, not impossible. Good luck pleading for mercy from my dear 'Sweet Pea'. Your funeral. The rest of you, make a decision. Quickly." He lifted his suitcase. "Like the sailor boys said, get movin'. I will not dither," he muttered unequivocally.
Flatlining, Nass watched the man that had slathered decades of her once exemplary life with corruption stroll away. Azul expectantly looked to Dr. Terrace. He rose a thick eyebrow to Mariam. The older toad woman became the first to spring at the proposal.
Nass gasped. "Mariam!"
"I'm so sorry dearie," she cried into her sleeve. "It's not for anyone to understand.. I am.. Not what I appear and I can't make it with any other troupe. Farewell."
Azul pressed forward. "Did I tell anyone I'm on the do-not-hire registry? It's like the do-not-call one, except you don't wanna mix them up," he joshed, poorly covering up hesitation. "And it's time I stop burdening mom.." he tacked on seriously.
Dr. Terrace let out a weighty sigh. "With my petrified joints I'll try to supervise those two. Don't worry doll, I'll cajole Theo into something useful too.." He waddled onward.
Disappointment rolled over Nass like the water on the shore. During the escape from Poshley Heights, through thrift store dumpsters, in taxies, and darting down dark alleys, the mantra that they'd not split was the most common after, 'my feet hurt'. The steam liner drifted away, passengers lingering on deck to bid farewell to the land dwellers.
This was rock bottom. A fugitive. Her daughter rumored to work for Bowser. Admittedly terrible prospects. By some inner strength dormant for years however, she was among those waving on the beach to the departing ship. Camera flashes went off. Resentment would not debase her further. Her crew, except Dr. Professor, waved back from the stern. Fitting, she didn't not know him anymore.
Drawing away, another Koopa was watching. Pink shelled, she fought against the crowd to trace the orange toad woman slipping behind beach homes and avoiding the surveillance heavy dock offices. The koopa returned to the unmarked kart with a human in it.
"Well?"
Kylie Koopa frowned, checking her camera. "Lost her, and the others are sailing away!"
Groaning, Inspector Douglas bopped in head against the wheel in a childish, to her, tantrum. What did he expect? No spunk. Late on the draw. She was missing her collaboration with a certain noki. She'd even take his boss Snifit Patrol who never landed back on Earth. If there was anyone aside from Luigi who could connect to Booigi the Second, it would have been Nass, and they'd bungled that up.
Wendy's friends were like scattering ants from a flattened anthill dispersing around the Koopa Troop. The jolt that shot through the minions upon noticing was, appropriately, as if those ants had entered their shells. The princess and Toadsworth were pressed onward and Bowser Junior to act 'normal n junk'. Larry amidst that chaos made a strenuous climb to the top level of Bowser Tower. His palm caught every little bump on the iron rails.. The sound of his own footsteps were earsplitting. The staircase stretched out in his mind. All this torment because it was integral to.. tattle on himself! Kinda. Without specifics. Sticking to carefully selected truths would protect everyone better than his bad lies were. 'Man up' the fifteen year old kept repeating.
BAM!
Half way up a mega goomba and wiggler in bright yellow jumpsuits shuffled downstairs.
"-Felt a bump.. Did I lose my wallet again?"
"Only your dignity, Richard."
"-Oh shut it, Wiggs! It's Jimmy that takes these anonymous tips, wastin our time rolling in and they're like, 'huh? I feel fine, whatcha talking about? How did you find me again?'" The goomba's boomy voice bounced around. "Yeah, bet cha remember the free ride we gave ya yesterday!"
"Ah. Bowser currently owes more than ten-thousand coins to us by now. Woe to him!" the wiggler mused.
Larry peeled himself from the floor, shook it off, and zipped back outside. A Mushroom Kingdom Disease Control Unit truck had miraculously appeared, unmolested by Bowser minions more occupied with Anti-Ma rebels running around.
Larry stood next to the tall vehicle. "Hey, wait up!-"
"Who's jabbering?" The paratroopa in the passenger spot scratched his head.
Larry grabbed on and did a pull up, struggling so that the top half of his head was in the window. "Erg.. Me!.. Darn it shoulda worked out.. more.. Please. Watch for..Kamek and Kammy!"
Parabilly's ballpoint gave false starts on the pad. He tapped. Tried again. Tapped. Larry's heart thumped, muscles burning.. "Spell it, chile?"
Larry dropped to the ground and nimbly fogged up the oversized mirror to write the names out. His jumpiness made it sloppy so it took three attempts. On the last, Sebastian in the driver's seat hung up the CB radio.
"Transport request at Toad Town. It's Mr. Toad. -And he prepaid."
"What are we waiting for? Git on it!" bellowed their leader in the back.
The truck left the fifteen year old in the dust. There was no Eldstar! His nightmares intensified. Bowser was in the tower doorway, whipping left and right at the madness, clawing through his hair.
"WHAT'S GOING ON?!"
After an anxious pause, "I was just finna tell you dad. So.. the keys got mixed up-"
"-GAAAAHH!" Bowser raged, his breath of sulfur. "I knew a shoulda converted to electronic locks by now! Good work telling me, erm, what I already knew. I appreciate cha!"
Larry shrugged. "Yeah yeah."
"Really, son. I mean it!" He ruffled his son's limp blue hair, its natural state without hair gel. "I'll be RIGHT OUT! I only need to do something.." He whisked himself back in.
Larry balled his fists, fed up with that propitiatory shtick. What was he supposed to do, preen? If this might be his last day in this dark abyss of a life called the Koopa Troop, he wanted to spill his guts. He barged inside. Bowser Tower ground level was the last to dry out and thus empty. He found Bowser immediately in the alcove under the stairway. That dumbhone was to his ear, rigidly in his hands, tapping a foot. He left a voicemail:
"Hey Mario, give me a little longer. This new kingdom's.. taking a while to set up according to my demented dreams if ya know what I mean. This isn't because I've just lost Peach right now or nothing so no rushing here, alright?-"
"Dad."
Bowser jumped, hiding it behind his back. "..Yeah! He is awesome. Me. Uh, what."
He folded his arms. "I didn't believe that back there! I'm tired of only having a tiny scrap of your appreciation and attention and stuff, whatever's left after you've spilled it out on the rest. I've always seen through this fake training crap. Us koopalings were screwed from the start because Junior looks like you. That's why you've designated him successor!"
Larry expected some retaliation, a stomp that could pound rock to sand, fire that could melt steel, or at least the classic butt whooping. Instead, Bowser's jaw hung a bit. His large clawed hands clasped as he bent, whispering in an unheard of way. "Larry, if I show you something, will you promise to not try to leave?"
Not sure how else to respond, a hushed, "Okay," escaped his lips.
Larry followed his father, mystified, all the way into the throne room. The teen stood in the middle and looked around at the countless graph papers on the floor, marked with notes or sketches of anti-plumber traps. Bowser carefully retrieved the lapis bust of a chipped up dragon koopa scowling, like it felt the dilapidation of the lordly effigy. Larry couldn't place where he'd seen it before in their old castle, a relative clearly. Like Bowser except with shorter horns, a smaller tuft of hair, and beadier eyes.
"Soooo."
"I gave Junior my name, sure.. As an impulse move. It's not 'cause he looks like me, 'cause he doesn't. He looks like.. My brother here. The one that I think sometimes shoulda been king instead of me. That's why... " Bowser placed it back on the shelf with his other one of two things and backed away with slow steps.
Surreally, Larry was stuck in time...
Bowser perked up. "You hear running water? …I bet it's gramps, old hag, and that sauna they set up! They'd better SAVE some water! A lotta minions are gonna want showers at the end of the day! Sit tight." Bowser ran off.
Larry had a gap in his memory regarding being outside again. It might have been to find someone, anyone, to share this with for a reality check, the haze continuing to obscure him until he was at the skeleton of Junior's fortress site. Something was off, and it wasn't Larry for once. It rocked in rhythm with the hammering inside and shaped like a malformed box, parts not joining correctly. He flushed, knocking heavily on the shut door. No one heard him. He knocked harder. Then it flopped like a stack of cards! Larry bolted from the scene, his old inclinations rushing back. Where was his unofficial partner in crime, Wendy? He whipped out his phone..
Minions abandoned their tools to pursue escapees. A boomerang bro rebel held the lead by several paces losing his trilby as he fled for his life. A magikoopa in blue and purple, hood down and holding the hems of the robes to not trip, broke off from the KT pack alongside some newly installed barbed wire fencing. A truck zoomed past them dazzlingly. They thought they'd imagined it until it careened into the last barrier of the Koopa Troop, smashing apart the wooden barricade. It proceeded onward into the adjacent Kingdom, creating a spot that all the rebels began to aim for.
The purple 'magikoopa' spontaneously dropped back from the other. "Princess Toadstool, we should not use that shortcut. Fancy this.."
He directed her to swap sides, so that she was closest to the fence. The princess turned her head subtly to avoid revealing her face. Three mega monty moles held that section of the fencing upward, with five more diligently installing support beams. The small ones pressed their ears to the ground and scurried away. The giant ones followed, and the section plummeted. Peach narrowly avoided the heavy iron barrier with a frantic drive. A wicked cackle followed, like that of someone very familiar but distorted.
She hauled herself up, "Toadsworth?"
"Indeed, you blithering fool," Toadsworth's magikoopa garb slumped off his figure, revealing grey toned skin as he pushed her towards the downed fence, the algid nature of his tiny yet secure grip startling her as much as his attitude. Her left leg scraped against a sharp barb.
"I was almost pinned! Stop this!" She was locked by his blackened pupils. "What in heavens has gotten into you?!"
"Not in heavens. On Earth.. At least now!" he growled like some rabid animal.
"E-excuse me?"
"Th.i.s '..t. .n.e.w?" The being in the shape of Toadsworth spoke, not even attempting to approximate mortal speech anymore. ".W.e..'ve .sp..o.k.e.n…. .b..e.f.o.r.e. ...I.t..is .. ti.m…e..f.o..r.. Y..o… u..r…e..n …d.. O..f..o..u..r..d..e.a.l…Y.o.u..a..re..a..b.i..g…g i..r.l..n…..ow…wh..y. .do.n.t ..y.o.u... .re.m.i.n.d... me. .of. w.h.a..t.. i.t ..w..a..s?"
The princess shuddered in its frigid grasp. It toyed with her, her tongue all but withered and dry, lodged against the roof of her mouth. The chill crept up her arms, to her shoulders, down to her midsection, to her toes, stuffed in koopa issued boots. Her skin bleached like alabaster. The moisture in her eyes began to congeal. Her soul was draining.
-A company of builders barged into them, severing the fatal grapple. While most didn't stop, Roy stooped to his knees, panting from their evacuation of the fortress. Morton arrived last, carrying people under his arms. He propped both down.
"I saved Iggster! Oh and.. Junior. I daresay. But Iggster looks great. Refreshed. Better! Best!" 'Iggy', flat as ever, was equally blithesome, contrasting Bowser Junior, blushing and clenching his backpack tightly at Peach and Toadsworth. Roy noticed who they'd trampled. He yanked the limp princess upwards.
"The heck dey doing here dressed like that? Especially old Mctoadyface, he's blue!" The pink koopaling slid his sunglasses down for a better look at steadily growing dots in the sky. His seldom seen purple iris dilated for a second. "Nevermind. Run for da hills! Go take em, Mort."
"Our Amazone Prima Guide delivery of the struts shoulda been somewhere, I dun get it," Thwomp #3 mumbled.
The negativistic balaclava wearing elite soldier of Bowser jabbed him in the back, having been led away from Bowser Tower and into fields of leafy nothingness. "But it ain't. THERE'S NOTHING FREAKIN HERE!"
Thwomp #3 pivoted around. There was an unmistakable but fleeting spark behind his red eyes and perpetually disgruntled face. "Dat thing is."
Sentry 11 found a forty-four feet tall and four feet wide obelisk planted on top the hill, like a void cut out in the universe, no visible texture. His cloud sunk a few inches. Not being there when he surveyed this quadrant earlier made its unannounced appearance phobogenic. Enough distractions. He let himself fall for this trick to nail that concrete bug. Thwomp sounded like a KT, looked it, and had the tattoo branded on a spike, but he'd inadvertently mentioned once that Bowser's old address was '444 Dark Drive'. That was common knowledge to Mushroom Freaks. No actual resident of Dark Land remembered aside from Bowser himself. Secondly-
"Hold it, soldier." Sentry 11 shook the thwomp violently, making a half dozen L shaped struts for a fortress tumble out of his pockets. "Now what's that?!"
"I dunno!"
"Recite the Mushroomcratic Oath!"
"As a child of the stars, I shall cite none of you in vain-"
The sentry sliced across his neck, grinning deviously. "-Dead. You recited THEIR version. Ours, under the same name, see, got cha, is about our sworn rivalry against you pests."
He thwomped closer. "J.D., I must ascertain how you are familiar with Mushroom curricular?"
"I.. studied.. four years only, in middle school. K? Bowser's my idol!" he snarled.
"Your memory may be faulty. It is astounding what putting on a brainless grimace does to conceal your identity."
He jabbed him again. "Listen, Rockhead-"
The thwomp buffeted that, painfully bending back the lakitu's finger. "Lieutenant Stone. Familiar? I flunked you out of SS HQ training, receiving a different version of that tale then." Lt. Stone, the 9th agent ever, sometimes tripled for stylization, became the most brilliant slab of concrete there could be. He scanned the lakitu with calculating red eyes, snorting at his flabbergasted expression. "Still off kilter and overly emotional you appear. Hmph. To your credit, I have inferred that being invidious is rewarded here. I conclude you have found your place after all! "
The trembling lakitu, in a more fight or flight reaction that the planned assassinations he was known for, cracked his knuckles. "You are my next hit. Spy," he sputtered.
"I am reminded of glass houses."
"And I'm reminded that I'll need a ditch in the ground big enough to BURY YOU AFTER I-"
"~Halt your warring. I need this one. Yes. That one too!"
They broke their standoff as Wendy O. appeared from behind the obelisk. The koopaling princess glided down, holding her thumb and index fingers together at the tips. Her tone had an ethereal quality, wholly unlike the 'cute' brat.
"My dominion shall be marked. Disband.~"
"This didn't happen," Sentry 11 said through his teeth.
"Truce. Chump." After one last smirk, the thwomp transfigured into a complete idiot.
Her eyes flared open. "I SAID MOVE THEE!"
Now that sounded like her, accented by a deafening drone that shook them apart.
Spawning from the obelisk, a black impenetrable beam shot from the face at light speed, hacking through the rest of Sky Land into the Bowser territory, slicing Bowser Tower in half, preceding to Giant Land, Water Land, Desert Land, Grass Land or the Mushroom Kingdom, across the Great Sea, sticking directly one vessel, though Dark Land, Ice Land, Pipe Land, and returning to Sky Land. Concluding its trip around the globe, it met the opposite face of the obelisk and another planet rattling clap, the beam and the Pillar of Understanding phased away, leaving a gaping trench to the lowest depths imaginable.
…
Larry stumbled onto the scene, led by Wendy's FindMyBowserPhone app reporting damage. Wide eyed, he turned around at the lip of the new canyon. No one would believe him anyway.
"Sir, are you concerned about-"
"I'll handle questions tomorrow!"
"Yes sir." The grindel attendant left Mayor Koton in his moodily lit office. The long curtains were closed so that the volcano nearby, active and spouting lava today, may not blind the thwimp returning to the proclamations on his desk.
For some time now, he'd been council-weak as some say- losers that was, the workings and the revenue flow of the overlords under him fine tuned to not require constant intervention. Despite that it would be naive to passively let Monday come along without brushing up on current matters. Every four years Bowser or one of his operatives would inform him of what smuck wanted to run against him, with a roar of laughter to follow. The KT would never allow anyone to actually boot him out of office. Much like the rare disease that kept him forever a thwimp, he was destined by Kamek to forever lord over Neo Bowser City. Without that, the intrigue of who he might be up against had weighed on his square shoulders all morning.
On cue, "-Mr. Mayor sir."
Mayor Koton stared expectantly at the whomp in the half opened doorway. He had a blue ribbon, a Corporal, just above a toad servant.
"We have confirmed Bowser operatives with information on the competing party, sir."
Koton lifted up and salved, visibly. "The monitor, would you please?" By the time he'd try to head down or even reach his remote with his weak little arcs, that presentation in the foyer would be over. Worsening health was what shut him in more often than not, and, a painful reminder, why unforeseen departure of Thomas Toad, one of his best stewards, was such a blow to his regime.
The whomp cut it on the wide screen in the office, opposite to the mayor's desk.
From the camera in the foyer of the fortress, a thwomp ushered a koopatrol, toad, para-goomba, and koopa troopa before office and registration personnel. While Koton never expected Bowser himself given the damage to his castle and the princess stealing, some unambiguously lowering ranking mooks were a quizzical choice. They passed around some pink flyers, filing in a line on his Darklandian crest rug, their nerves revealed by the clinging of the koopatrol's armor, the rouging of the toad girl, the goomba eyeing the exits, and the koopa keeping his snout down.
After dragging themselves together into a brief huddle, Emery took the leap into the firing squad.
"Hi. I know I look outta place.. But I'm the King's best soldier!"
Hippity Hop rolled his eyes and Jonhson shook his head..
"-So I'm honored to present.."
…
While she dove into the flyer's proposals, some embezzled, some not, Tanner read the letter he'd picked up. All mail in Dark Land funneled to one place in the city, to discourage laziness or some drivel, and he was hankering to know what his buddy wrote.
"Riddle me this, Tanner J Koopa. Y did I write you?"
One of his jokes. Ugh, he'd better solve it. Zoo would know apon return if he peeked at the answer.. Hm. He got it. Zoo visited that eye doctor. Traces of his analphabetic nature loitered, but it was impressively legible by some miracle.
"...Bc I had a dream I'd die tonite!"
He didn't get it.
"Don't make that face. I know you are. I could be wrong, who knows what will go down. Got u something. "
Folded in it was a Lexus emblem from some kart type they didn't even manufacture around here. Weird.. the bottom had numbers, not on the line, and the concluding portion:
"U know I don't say I'm liberal and gay all the time just to be a double untundra. 19 18 2 1 09 13 85 is my absentee vote for this Monday if I ain't back. See ya, bro."
That code didn't correspond to any candidate the koopatrol recognized. A typo? Aww, his dumb, playful, alarmingly murderous as of yesterday, but thoughtful friend…Forgetting where he was, he pressed it against his chest, sighing with his gaze at the amber chandeliers. They began to sway.
…
Everything surrounding Mayor Koton rattled for ten seconds, during which the monitor snapped off the mount and shattered on the floor. The clash of glass beckoned a toad servant into the room with a broom and pale, followed by the same whomp imploring desperately if the mayor, stunned in his executive chair, was okay. This Neo Bowser City fortress was reinforced so that the foundation may not suffer attrition from the twenty four thwomps, fifteen grindels, and ten whomp representatives pounding, rolling or stomping around the dozen floors all day- just not enough for this seismic event.
The private jet's club seating, entertainment system, and cooler of champagne had an opposite effect for T. Yoshisaur. He couldn't argue out of the overly generous provisions to his companions, the coast guard and additionally now a black shy guy pilot they'd met with in Pipe Land. Now he was 10,000 miles above the Great Sea. His son was in a pet carrier in the cargo section, it advised by the pilot. Sonny tried to advocate for Yoshi otherwise to no avail. As much as not being able to check on him was disquieting, Poochy had probably fallen asleep by now, free from the influence of his worrywart father.
Tired of staring at the wing, the engine, or the red blinking light on the spars, Yoshi's gaze settled his plastic evidence zip lock bag, all Sonny could give him, containing the broken Bronze Egg. By tinkering with it on and off during the trip he determined he'd only meld the four pieces with a gallon of Donkey Kong Glue or professional help, like Mr. Zeror of Peach Castle or Russ T. who retired ages ago. ..More appropriately the latter. A Bowser baddie named Zoo hadn't destroyed his home or anything... Either way, Yoshi was done. It was hard to concentrate and its powdery dust, as it had an chatoyant onyx center under the bronze coating, activated some headache inducing allergy. He began to appreciate how it was stashed in something airtight.
"-Twenty minutes till touch down!"
A toad came out from the blue curtain obscuring the cockpit area. He sat behind the fold out lounge table, the heavy tactical vest he refused to shed making it a snug fit.
"What's up? I figured I'd come back here. That other guy won't.. Take off his oxygen mask. Stuffy old.." He muttered. "Erm, Oh and if you're worried about one guy flying, don't! It's all high tech computers these days. Wanna fly it?"
"I must politely decline!" Yoshi replied quickly. "I do appreciate everything so far," he emphasized.
"No prob. I love this job. Usually.." The entire time Sonny played with a canteen in his hands, a noticeable slosh within. After the rendezvous with the pilot, the toad was frequently seen with whatever that was, the formalness and prudence the toad held at their introduction eroding with each sip. That decaying body in the ocean, now packed away with their cargo for identification and autopsy was perturbing Yoshi sympathized, but if this was his coping method, perhaps Sonny was better away from the controls after all.
"-So, what's with you?" Yoshi asked in the middle of him taking another swig.
The toad lowered it, face rosey. "...Umm. Honestly. Umm." He breathed out heavily. "I didn't patrol last night like I should have. There's some weird politics going on in my 'office' and I lingered to keep an eye on- 'the head coast guard of Toad Town water bodies.' I can't help but wonder if I wasn't meddling, maybe.. I mean the tide swells yeah but I coulda saved that guy in the tacklebox.."
"You cannot definitively state that."
"Well, still looks bad. . I used to be an extra at a film studio with clones of myself essentially. We filmed some Toadtanic ripoff, that's how I'm familiar with water and rowing. For twelve hour shifts. With only my left arm." The toad sat the canister down flat. Flipped the other way, it curiously sported the label 'Anti'. "I don't know where the epiphany came from, but I wanted more. I found a dodgy ad for what I do now.. " he trailed off vaguely. "Now I'm the weird new guy they rib over literally everything, like my crush on Wendy O."
Yoshi flushed. "I-interesting."
"I'm 19. Don't fret. It's that or they're wary of the bipolar prognosis I've had for a while."
Yoshi settled in the chair, not typically venturing here with just anyone. "..I understand. I'm bipolar too."
"-The sequel?"
So left field, he laughed. "No!-"
"Foolin.." He smiled back. "I've.. been waiting for an opportunity to say that for an embarrassingly long time. Don't call me a dork."
To think this would be the random thing they'd bond over.. Yoshi didn't know if he was becoming more acclimated to him in general, or it was Sonny's canteen making him frolicsome (hopefully not) or a phenomena specific to air travel he'd yet to learn about (extra hopefully not). The dinosaur couldn't stifle his giggling as he asked genuinely, "Not to pry, are you managing fine?"
"No worries. Just another label on me. Think it's worse than 'koopaling lover'?"
"Who am I to judge? My Special One is world famous, twenty-five years younger, and I'm certain it won't be requited, nor can I compete against the rival and his.. boisterousness."
Sonny appeared to ponder. "...Mario? I mean with that mustache. Mhm," he teased. "Figured it out because he's thirty-eightish."
"Thirty-nine to my sixty-four in actuality.." Yoshi snuck in there, as if, in his opinion, that made a difference. "If you don't shout that from a rooftop, perhaps you could meet Wendy one day. I guarantee nothing. You know how girls are with their types."
The toad flexed the bigger arm. "Thanks. Don't underestimate me, mister. I'll be right back." He sidestepped to a door in the back, a restroom.
Yoshi was, despite himself, drawn like a magnet to that silver canteen, not properly sealed and leaking on the table. He stood it upwards without thinking, some habit from being a father of an eight year old Poochy. That was a mistake. The toad would know he'd disturbed it now, some all over his green fingers. It struck him, there was no smell. Thinking back, Sonny never reeked of much except cheap cologne despite guzzling that for a while now. Only with his super sensitive nose did he detect fluoride. Was it chilled tap water all along? Possibly, with one fainter aroma.. Of a chemical?-
Yoshi scrambled to scoot away as the toad reentered the cabin. Before that was addressed, if even noticed, there were two beeps from the cockpit then a third, shut off prematurely by the pilot. A series of clicking noises followed.
Sonny checked his watch, eyebrows furrowing.
"-What?"
"Nah. Nothing!"
"Certain?"
"Sure, mister."
Floooooosh!
"Not sure!"
A blast of air mashed them against the back wall like Fly Guys on a sticky trap. Cupboards burst open, unleashing papers and any other loose object as the plane lurched downwards. Sonny, upside down, turned to his left, or Yoshi's right, mouthing something during the perilous dive. The blue curtains were blown horizontally, revealing the cockpit, the lack of a pilot, a missing ejection seat, and the glass above that spot gaped open! In vivid detail, the dinosaur focused on the nose pitched at the blue sea. Then it vanished as their aircraft surged upwards momentarily, oscillating from the warmer rising air of southern Mushroom World clashing against colder air. Toad and yoshi together collapsed with all of the amenities and objects. Sonny crawled from under the pile up, scurrying up there. He secured the control column just in time. They were low, so much that Sonny bent at the side window and could see individual faces of the passengers on a pink and white trimmed cruise ship limping along, partially slashed up from some catastrophic accident. Emergency signals were constant from the wounded vessel. The irony wasn't lost on the 'coast guard'.
He prioritized locating the cause of egress. The master caution was lit, disabling automation. Fuel? He squinted and leaned in. Good. Ailerons, check. Throttles. There was a gummy sort of resistance against his forward nudge of both, preventing him from pulling the engines out of idle. They were sinking as they crossed solid land, the Mushroom Kingdom, famous for tall hills with eyes! As a fraction of that adrenaline wore off, the toad noticed how heavy his muscles felt. He pressed a button..
"Mmm mm mm mm mm!"
Yoshi roused little by little under the unintelligible intercom message. Like he'd snapped out of some dream, he followed the roar of wind on his hands and knees. Breaching the cockpit revealed a toad slumped back in a co-pilot's seat so oversized for him, Yoshi had room to slip in. The toad's 'stronger' left arm limply clung the controls, keeping them at a five degree bank, otherwise paralyzed aside from his panicked beady eyes, darting from Yoshi to his own appendage. Yoshi caught on, gripping the column in the same position. Why did it smell like Lemon Candy up here? -Sonny feebly tapped around on a low mounted Flight Management System, a device that resembled a calculator with a VFC screen. Instead of entering a waypoint as it was designed, he was communicating:
"-Turn -the- blue- knob -to -this -coordinate.- You- are -guiding -us -down."
Yoshi gulped.
Roy emerged from his shell and peeked through the crack in his fingers. No, he wasn't scared of nuthin! When bricks fly at your face you gotta do something.
KABOOM!
Another heap of ammo going off. Pow pow pow, they went off like mines all over the territory, delayed triggering from the earthquake. They coulda used those! Roy's military calls would have shot off to blank walls as hoards of the Koopa Troop, remaining at least, fled across the hills to Giant Land next door, but there weren't really any walls standing anymore. The handful not crumbed to bits lay haphazardly in the field, tools were strewn about, some he stepped on by mistake, ouch, otherwise, the chasm had swallowed it all. If Junior's fortress had not buckled on itself, forcing the work to cease, he and many others would have disappeared down the wide trench in the Earth that split Bower Tower down the center, the two parts laying on opposite sides. Morton would be outta his mind like, 'the world is peeling, denuding, unraveling!' Roy couldn't believe he recalled some of those words. His only brother rivaling him in size might also be, of course, useful right now! With barely a second to comprehend the tremors that had undone all of their hard work, dark skinned toads, native Skylandians rained on them with tiny spears.
Roy solved the problem. No Bowser! He barreled beyond the little toadys to the remains of Bowser Tower, or the Tower of Lyribiris, chucking blocks away until Sky Land soldiers closed in and ragged him away. Roy, irately cursed so much the most hardy of those soldiers blushed. He didn't get to lift the last one!
Bowser drifted into consciousness. There was a small crack above, the light from it flickering as objects crossed over it, occasionally causing pebbles to smack him in the forehead. Well, he was alive at least. He propelled himself upwards and smacked into a heavy bulkhead, dazing himself in the cramped pocket of space. Earlier events were like some weird stew. -The kind Kammy might whip up with one-hundred different ingredients because she sent their castle cook home early for the day and desperately wanted to use her as-seen-on-tv cooking ware for once while simultaneously wanting to punish Kamek because he kept falling asleep as she recounted old wives tales to him.
So it didn't make sense. And was spicy. Wait. No, this wasn't like that.
What had he saved before his magnificent new tower disintegrated? Old scrolls? Ancient Maps? Money? ..Something else, held rigidly against his plastron, like he could not let go lest it float away forever.
The bulkhead shifted. Beep beep beep…
The debris over Bowser slid away. His heart stopped. Some adventure group of toads were standing over him and through fog, everything he'd built was… GONE. The Skylandians that weren't celebrating 'victory' (yeah right!) were disposing of HIS Koopa Troop paraphernalia in the bottomless pit.
"Golly! King Bowser was here all along?" The Captain muttered afterwards, "So when Mario catches up he'll still have something to do, darn it.." He snatched Yellow Toad, the only of the Brigade without some sort of metal detector or shovel, over to him. "Jörg, retrieve that please."
Yellow nabbed the object in a flash, piling it on an overflowing wagon. The effulgence of Bowser's brother's bust compared to those dull chests was all Bowser could stare at.
The Koopa King shot upwards. All but the Captain flinched. As much as he wanted to melt them all into a puddle. He.. actually.. Thought it out. No minions. The climate was cooler, enough to give him shivers. All the clouds were low to the ground or gracing it, revealing more of the kingdom than he'd ever seen before. Barren fields now held villages, houses, even a marble castle. They'd plopped onto the landscape when the cloud realm dissipated. There was the bluest sky he'd ever seen, with a star in the center, high up. A black one.
"Where is everybody?!"
Captain Toad dropped his defensive stance, blinking at him. "As we arrived they were exiled to the next kingdom over.."
Bowser tried to process that, his brian sputtering.
"Sir, will you attack us or not?" Hint Toad spoke up, jittering.
"Heinemann!" The Captain scolded.
"I know King Bowser is already infirm, but I did not prepare for a fight!"
Bowser glanced down. There was dried blood from a puncture wound, where he'd held that statue. Like the real version of Clarentine, it managed to stab him in the heart for one last measure.
Author's note: Another weird cut. The next is the last part of this mini series. As a forewarning, I'm really pulling out the stops.
Regarding the tower that Bowser conquered: it's name is literally the chapter title but with my keys shifted over to the left. I'd done this by mistake and it looked like a perfectly good made up name, so I kept it.
One point I missed in 'Brutality and..': Of the Captain Toad brigade, Jörg is German and pronounced 'Yorg', therefore still either punny or alliterative with the rest of the brigade. The name is from the cult horror Sega Dreamcast game 'Illbleed'.
Yes, artistic license is at play with the ejection seat on a passenger plane. Otherwise however, I inserted a few technical details in there. If you know about aviation you might be able to guess what happened to them and their odd behavior. If not, don't worry. It'll be revealed soon!
Split/ dates: 9/10, 9/14, 9/15, 9/18 (other working dates are in the previous part) 9/19, 9/20- 9/23, 9/24
