Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever (Redux)
Love and War 3 (Chapter 20)
Disclaimer: Mario belongs to Nintendo.
Author note: Other part of the double upload. Now we get many answers to things and..
Content warning: More horror elements though on a more psychological side to the previous
The luma was fixed to the main console display of the Comet Observatory, flashing red as an indicator of abnormal energy in the galaxy. "What's wrong mama? Is it King Bowser?"
Imagery sprung of Bowser's lethal relentless doomships that bereaved them of their power stars and nearly left them drifting and powerless in space.
Blushing, the goddess leaned and hugged them tight. "Nothing to worry about.."
Another lie stinging her lips. (Heart)(Music)!?) stalled others by conveniently requesting a tour. She coveted how guileful he could be on a whim, pausing, pointing out a galaxy, telling a story, and using his vast experience as a heavenly justice enforcer to keep them at bay. Unfortunately everyone was rounding back around in time for the energy at the core to flicker out. Rosalina felt the pinch of a headache coming on, her experimental Gravitational Pull soul transfer technology wavering-
"I understand your affinity for the Earthlings Miss Rosalina, but surely you can do better than this.." Stuffily, Polari accelerated towards the Observatory launch pad where a new visitor, healthy, lacking sluggishness, corneal clouding, or livor mortis discoloration, regained his bearings and stalwartly faced the accusing star.
Not sparing an explanation he decked the black dwarf. Stepping over his grumbling body, he fired at his divine helpers a stern, "May we talk?"
(Heart)(Music)!?) Swung his arm around the Koopa Troop commander. "-About that pizza we ordered. Move along kiddos, we need to show this guy where the change is at!"
Ludwig was shuffled across a red carpet path, into a heavily decorated purple building with gold trim around the entrance. Geno had a key, suggestively, to enter that bedroom. A second later, Rosalina followed them, relocking it. Ludwig tripped over the step and fell forwards onto the soft made up canopy bed. Furiously he rose up and glared at the other two, wagging the open lexicon.
"I have familiarized myself more with those mythical 'Special Objects' scanning the glossary of this than your entire prep talk. I especially appreciated the lack of forewarning that I was susceptible at random to dark star influence. If reminiscences of my brother didn't taper its hold on me, I shudder to imagine what might have occurred at that critical moment." He shut the book, the thick pages making a bop noise. "To be concise, you two would fit in with the more lousy of my college professors.."
Rosalina, holding an indistinguishable expression, turned to the star warrior. "My, he found his Special One."
Ludwig flushed bright red. "Miss-"
"-It's genuine love in general," 'Geno' explained preemptively. "Romantic, family, platonic, whatev. You and Ian are tight right?.. Or Lemmy, as I just recalled he prefers. My bad. Just has to be love in its realest form, as real you are shacked up here with us. -And you are really here so shut up and sit down child!" With a flick of his fingers, he flung Ludwig across the room and into the wall next to the electric fireplace. Indeed he physically felt it!
"-Here's a better version than that 109th edition watered down trash anyway." Geno snapped. A spark landed on the retail book, upgrading it to ancient papyrus scrolls. "Agents of the dark star don't usually come out of the woodwork to trigger the artifacts and sacrifice portions of your planet in one Earth day, so forgive my brevity before. Not having Millennium Star, the one that knows Great Eld the most, put a toll on us."
The color drained from the koopaling's face, the scrolls unraveling and bouncing around. "I..see. Could you.. Start from the top?"
Geno became resigned at this type of tale. "So in the beginning, lots of stars roamed your Earth as gods among the mortals kinda, and the morality of some weren't so great. After Eldstar was like 'enough', there were artifacts left behind that, prior to the star's death, they'd infused a part of them in it. There wasn't much of a deal 'cause only somebody with psionic power or a really strong connection with stars could make them react in any way. Isolated situations in history where all the ingredients came together were a drop in the bucket of the 'strange' that's commonplace in your universe. That's why we weren't that versed on it. That's why things like the Lexicon were the only surviving articles still speaking about it, which few believe in your times, etc. Cue your janitor though, who revived a very specific star. According to Rosie's console, it's rallying all the other objects and amassing-"
"-With all due respect, Rosalina, open up! Quickly!"
"Higher Authority, give me strength.." Geno grumbled. Rosalina's gentle touch on his rising shoulders kept him from Geno Blasting Polari through the door and likely setting her bedroom and part of the Observatory on fire.
Rosalina cracked it open. Her heart sank, the secrecy of this mission impossible to contain with Toadsworth's arrival. He was curled up on the ground beside Polari.
"Eldstar forgive me. I've mucked it up.." After he didn't respond further, they brought the elderly toad to the observatory's fountain dome, dipping him into the cool water.
"Do not attempt to cross the alluvion. Are you certain the Mario Brothers will gather you?"
"I wish I could meet them!" Many comrades agreed.
"No prob, I'll give a shout out for you, home..people."
Toad caught himself before he used 'boy' or 'girl' on either of the Skylandians with him to the river bank. A sizable portion didn't do the binary thing, taking to heart that controversial Prof. E Gadd study on toads. Kinda juxtaposed with them being so orthodox in other ways, but that was not his call nor his primary concern over other matters, like worsening arrhythmia. He waved off to the spear carrying warriors, none the wiser that he intended to toss away the ice pack and plunge into the river regardless.
It careened him though Giant Land uncontrollably, smacking him against rocks, forcing water down his nose and mouth, letting Spear Guys poke him. He lacked alternatives. Searching the hard way and following koopa tracks? Not fit for it. His only solo adventure was puzzle based. Call Jr. Troopa for directions? He couldn't, their last awkward conversion looming over him.
Jr. Troopa replied to 'Call this from now on -Toad' with:
'Hey.. u didn't answer something..'
Like a dunce Toad replied 'What?' A few times.
'U like beards or not?'
Toad didn't reply then.
'Taking that as a yes. What d u like ab them? Length, color, goatee, mustache?' Troopa continued to press. '*laughing emoji* jk jk'
It hit Toad like those Iggy's Castle pillars, that Troopa was teasing him. He had to continue the hard way, paddling like mad, to tell Luigi and Mario about what he saw with the 'Vrlrdyi Scope', which was…
Recalling the sight, his vision whited out- it was happening again! He lost sensation as the river swept his body further along. Coming to, floating belly up in an unknown area, a Boss Bass was on his tail. Toad rose his arms in surrender. The fish tied on a tidy clean apron. Toad then went 'psyche' and dipped beneath the behemoth, letting it pass over. He rose to the surface, watching it barge through a log spanning the river and over the waterfall.
Waterfall? He screamed.
…
Hint Toad crouched at the bank with the tranquility and shrewdness of a documentary host. "-Here in this quadrant of Giant Land, the aquatic species include the emerald cheep-cheep, boss bass, Unagi, and Mr. Toad as we see, kindly demonstrating in real time why it is unwise to swim across."
"Heinemann, thank you. That was an opportune comment for once! Jörg, you are unoccupied (as usual..) fetch the good man. Captain's orders!"
A rope landed over Toad's shoulders, his lips not quite parting enough to utter his surprise as Yellow Toad tugged him out of the water. Multicolored toads crowded him as he coughed up more water. They had full heavy backpacks and a treasure filled utility wagon immobilized by rocks at the wheels.
"Mr. Toad, why would you burden yourself to pursue Bowser?" Banktoad gave the wet bloated toad another once over. "That is what you were doing, right?"
"Yeah. Thanks." Toad rose up, picking the fancy, appeasing to the eye, Vrlrdyi scope with him. Something mysterious settled over the brigade members. They stared at it, hesitant to say anything until The Captain returned shortly, tossing a giant tree to create bridge 2.0.
Toad noticed he was far stronger than he ever was in his heyday. As he didn't visit while Toad was bedridden, he'd forgotten about him really. Maybe The Captain kept his distance due to that scar on his forehead running straight down to intersect with his manly brow ridge and create a faint 'plus' symbol Toad imagined, hiding the telescope behind his back.
"Mr. Toad, take a gander at this." The Captain patted the trunk, making it rock. "Would you prefer to walk or ride?.. Ride it is!" he answered for Toad, proceeding to address Mailtoad. "We can make space by shedding those soulless commercial boxes."
Mailtoad flinched. "I ..uh.. Thought those Koopa Troop documents were fascinating and worth preservation but.. Yes Captain.." He unloaded a beige file cabinet, giving Toad a better view of their overabundance of Bowser and Skylandian materials. He had a bad hunch about them now.
"-Everyone is digital these days anyway, Mordecai. Your bottled notes may remain however. That fits our aesthetic. Onward we go!"
Toad simmered as the others were crossing the log bridge, aware of The Captain hovering over his shoulder. "Stan, I know y'all didn't bus down here to help us with Bowser. I'm going to snitch to Luigi that you had a gold rush!"
"Will you tattle on yourself for owning this?"
Toad gave a start at The Captain's hands gracing his back, sliding where the Vrlrdyi Scope was tucked in his rear pocket. "Dude!" He sidestepped, boot bumping against the treasure wagon. Toad was instantaneously pushed onto the wagon and carried off. The jolt resurfaced an unwelcome memory involving the Captain, sending new waves of panic over him. That Stanley was too smart for his own good, and if he detected vulnerability, of which Toad knew he had many to sort out, it was a bad time..
Joining the brigade in turbo mode, tramping through brush and high grass in a line, The Captain said, "Brigade, let's remind Mr. Toad that we defeat villains for justice and the good of others."
"I thought we were only tracing Bowser still because he has an expensive looking lapis bust we want?"
The Captain punched Yellow Toad. "Isn't it time for you to simultaneously walk and sleep again?"
"Zzzzz."
"Better."
The evening sun tinted the haze of recently expired conflict orange. Northern Toad Town, The Post Office, the local Inn, the item shop, the library, and numerous other places were waterlogged empty shells. Booigi would like them better as soot and ashes, but a Faucet Thing sticker foiled that wish.
"-You cannot quit. You. Cannot," they snarled at the ten or so hobbling off.
The shameful koopa dropped his racket. Banged up and chipped, it was constructed of gray graphite and branded with a 'W' symbol which stood for Eldstar knew what. More significant for those brandishing this, it didn't have special 'launch victim into orbit' or 'shatter on contact' powers like Booigi's. "Yeah. -Oww." He winced and held his neck. "We aren't made of.. Whatever you are Boo-"
"-Booigi the Second."
"Right. Right.. Oww.."
At last it appeared it had become too demoralizing for the supporters that only Booigi could engage the King's guards and come out unscaved. Every battle around town the boo lost a few, not counting anyone arrested, fined and/or brought to the slammer, and here went the final group
"Go away then. Go!"
The motley bunch scurried into the nooks and crannies of town. Booigi was already the change that was needed. All them. The others just. Couldn't. See it. Puzzlingly King's guards were scarcer to locate and they could not determine where they vanishing. They didn't skip town was certain, nor were any more arriving per local reports on the message boards, which came out exceptionally fast and timely from the Mushroom Press. (Deciding for another layer of mystery that they'd have an internet presence now.) They were simply going to have to patrol for them, zipping up familiar childhood lanes. Familiar to 'Boo' at least, not so much-
"Hold it, speedy.."
They found a middle aged dark green toad in the middle of the street, the only living thing in a few blocks. Booigi ii tensed before the civilian. "I would stay indoors."
He laughed, his voice deepening. "I know we all look alike, dude.. I was at the park. Mitch. Ring a bell?"
Booigi tilled their head. Mitch had hives on some of his exposed skin, and despite his admirable effort to look sharp in a new suit, evidence remained of a nosebleed issue by the wads of towels in his pocket. His cold calculating eyes, one slightly askew, bore into the boo, their vaingloriousness draining from the puncture.
He continued, "I only skedaddled for some networking with a celeb of sorts from outta town, 'Zach'. Now I have an offer you cannot refuse. Roll with me, baby."
"Huh?"
He sighed, continuing down the kartless street. "Hey kid. I'm trying to make the best of this confined to a wheelchair thing. Don't."
"No, I didn't mean.." Booigi was followed reluctantly.
"Great job whipping those Poshley toads shroom shakes by the way. Thing is, inside scoop here, a lot of toads outside of those suits would do the same stuff to people like you if Peach wasn't the saccharine- er, well intentioned linchpin. The old timers would know personally. Just replace those guns and tanks with fire flowers and stones. Think it's fair that they got away scott free like that, still around pretending to be model Mushroomites? It's an outrage!"
"It is!" Booigi agreed.
"Listen, you could do something about it while Peach isn't around to be a play thing of those spoiled mushrooms. The squad at my office would never be this frank. I promise you."
"There is a squad at the Press?" Booigi repeated. That was a location they had not thought of in forever, nor searched very much.
Mitch loosened his collar. "Just a term for those desk jockeys.. Don't worry. Think everybody knows you in Toad Town? Talk about the Mushroom World come tomorrow!" he chucked. "Ooh, love this place. In here. Look who else is in!"
Mitch pressed the handicap door button to Club Gamecube, that other eatery across the street of Club 64. Booigi blinked and they had strayed back into near normal portions of Toad Town, where some citizens of all sorts were still walking about and only a few saw Booigi and clapped admiringly or fled to alert the police. Booigi impulsively ducked inside the eatery. There was a bartender stocking up and a dozen patrons far back, otherwise no one at the waiting room but Chuck the spike waving, and a purple Gamecube laying around in a high chair.
"You should add to your list Dr. Toad. Red capped, blonde, as quintessential as a toad comes. Okay so he's about your age, oh nefarious just the same."
"Have you been served?" someone gruffly cut in.
Booigi scanned around fruitlessly.
The sentient Gamecube shuffled the menus at the podium. "Over here. I am the manager. I know it's strange," it groused.
Mitch slapped a one-hundred coin bill on his counter. "Keep the change."
Booigi and the others passed beyond the velvet rope, in the main room where there were dim lights and lounge music. They sat in between Mitch who rolled up to the bar edge, and the spike, the latter going for tea only, lacking his mom's permission for anything stronger.
"Tasty Tonic!" Mitch barked, swiveling to Booigi. "So, now that we can get into specifics, let me exclusively chronicle your war on toads, and you'll get sixty percent profit back, that's right, I'm cutting you the bigger slice. Deal?"
Booigi weightily tapped against the bar table. "And I only need to attack pedestrian toads.." That had cryptically bitter aftertaste. Wasn't there something odd about the ideal coming from a toad?
"-You wouldn't question that if I showed you this." Mitch's open palm rested on Booigi's forehead. As a reflex they went intangible which failed. "Count backwards from ten," he whispered, his tone dripping with something dark..
"Why?" Booigi hunkered down, fighting against the dread overtaking them. The entire room then had their faces blotted out, the lines remaining but smeared beyond recognition. They continue to scrap a plate, sip a beverage, or chat, oblivious to their struggle. Booigi submerged into the floor, through the building's pipes, into the crust of the planet, down, down, into the core, now burning, so agonizingly, no matter how much they wailed in their mind that it wasn't real. It was like dealing with- another boo.
"Boo E. Diddley" Mitch said to the boo, still in the seat and trembling in reality. "C'mon. Count."
"No!" Booigi spat with difficulty. "Get.. your.. Paws.. off.. me!"
He went, 'tisk'. "I was gonna make picking your brain pleasant. Now I'll just actually do it." His abominable abilities prevailed over their incorporeal boo biology as he physically poked their squishy frontal lobe.
"-I know better than to intrude after last time.. As I was saying wake up or you will be excluded.."
He drozily tossed the pillow next to him at the girl in the open doorway.
She huffed, adjusting her silver wig, clamped in a ponytail by two pins. "Dont ruin my makeup!"
He turned over, stipped of some covers and peeped with one eye. "Don't worry, homegirl. You still look like… what are you again?"
"Goomelda? The wisest of female goombas?" She leaned against the inner door frame, indignant. "Mr. Toad, I've told you before that for every Rebotco Fest, I will liken myself to someone important, underappreciated, and in our mushroom genus so that I can educate the other celebrants and simultaneously remain stylish and-"
"Alright already!" He rose out of bed, revealing his snow themed red and green polka dot pajamas. He didn't even match the holiday it was in that regard. "Sure you didn't want an excuse to wear a kimono?"
"Certain. I better like, head down. I want to meet every guest coming in so they don't miss out on a learning opportunity."
The pink toad dressed as a scholarly goomba icon scampered off. Toad slid out of bed, gigglish. Toadette was adorable when worked up over nothing. A doorbell resonated though Peach Castle. Maybe it was something.
Overextending his afternoon nap, that meant it was almost eight. He debated between that much hated, meant to be renovated but hadn't yet, medieval communal shower, where at basement level the water was more steamy or his personal bath in the third floor bedroom, where it took considerably longer for the water to become a quarter as hot. He opted for efficiency over comfort and freshed up with lukewarm water, still drying off as he hurried back to his half messy triple king sized bed. Always only the left side where he habitually slept. The opposite had never been occupied…
He laid out flat a jumper he'd purchased and accessorized to resemble Prince Froggy. Aside from collaborating with Kamek, Toad admired how chill, kind to his subjects, and carefree he was.. Also green. Looking down from his high window, costumed friends were making their way across the lawn of Peach Castle. A Mach Bike among them got him excited. He moved away to preserve the surprise a little longer. He had no qualms spilling the beans honestly, but while he and Luigi were hanging out earlier today, just out in the lawn talking (they didn't really do exciting things or stray from the house much, and that was just fine) as Mario was on his back cursing in Italian while fixing on the motorbike for the upteenthed time, the green plumber danced around the topic of what he was arriving as.
Toad zipped up and practiced his frog hop on the way down. While the third floor had no decor, the castle steadily shifted into a pumpkin zone with orange confetti, glow sticks, autumn leaves, and frightening cut-outs by the second. Big Boo's music box blasting through the stone walls by the ground level. In the front hall guests conversed around the tables holding refreshments or on the mezzanine, leaning over and watching others. The princess insisted they compartmentalize this year's party in here, the kitchen, the aquarium, and the second floor den. Plus at midnight they'd better scram. It wasn't a favorite holiday for her nor Toadsworth and it went south when they got more elaborate, like hosting hide and seek tournaments. Yoshi still made off comments sometimes about how he had to spend the night on the roof…
Toad slid down the rails just in time for that distinctive rising of voices when the Mario bros entered a building. Mario's costume... it didn't even register really. It was Luigi he couldn't stop staring at, a white helmet under his arm, waving shyly, eyes darting around for somewhere to escape this loud busy scene, wearing a perfect replica of a white armored Starfighter from Star Slammers, a more geeky, hard sci-fi alternative to Toad Force V. Toad thumbed towards upstairs to the left, the den, where Luigi and anyone else less social could retreat and or watch Thrills at Night: The Movie and not open themselves for potential ridicule from anyone over 'secluding themselves from the party'. Luigi caught his signal, winked, and moved on.
Before Toad followed, partygoers parted, letting him discern the crowd more. As with many events people coupled up a lot. Mario, a pumpkin head bat thing, and fans were around a crone, Peach, Toadette had apparently educated enough so she was with Bucken-Berry, a Chargin Chuck (likely a veiled way to get to tackle folks and get away with it), Ala-Gold was their third wheel, dressed, if it could be considered such, as a green pipe so that people could toss their candy in it and not realize it has feet, and so on. Toad involuntarily sighed as another person cleared security and got in, the famous outdoorsmen Captain Toad, as.. 'Mr. Toad'.
A splitting image, same shave, matching dye job, perfectly modulated voice, so complete Toad, frozen the mezzanine noticed a pattern in 'himself' and interactions with certain ones, usually taller.. with facial hair.. He concede that it would be more weird if he didn't interact with the doppelganger raising everyone's cholesterol levels at least once.
Toad caught up to him, next in line to play some dart game. "Hey, Stan. Looking handsome today."
"Can't say the same!"
"Jerkface!" Toad cracked his knuckles.
"Says the warty frog."
"Haha..Oh yeah. Well, that's Prince Warty Frog to you!"
Toad psyched himself out. It was still uncanny, but the strenuous commitment to the 'character' The Captain chose was leaps and bounds ahead of anyone else. Toad was always intrigued by more meticulous and brainy folk, and energy they gave off when absorbed in some passion of theirs. So was The Captain into impressions all along? Creepy, but he'd stan, like his name. Now he got it.
'Mr. Toad' strick the red center for max points the first time. He was awarded a plastic wrapped Honey Shroom from Zeror, dressed as Merlon (ironically as laical he was).
"-Alright I'm heading upstairs. You're annoying. Rude. Hammy. Not acting your age. Yep, looks like you got my characterization as straight as possible."
"Phrasing, homeboy." The copy smirked, spinning around. "There's nothing 'straight' about you."
With a twitch, Toad socked The Captain. In slow-mo he smacked the checkerboard tiles, the prize flying out of his hand and at Zeror, who in reeled backwards into a shy guy, who was actually a snifit who collided with a yoshi who was actually a birdo who knocked over a birdo who was actually a yoshi who flipped the entire drinks stable over Peach and Toadsworth coincidentally walking by. Gallons of punch covered the entire room and soaked many in deep red syrup that never washed out.
Toad was banned from that event from then on.
…
'Jörg', or Yellow Toad's boots were on the soapy floor, castle toads pushing clear furniture for the next phase of cleanup behind him. He wore his adventurer's outfit, no costume and no orange pass marking him a permitted guest.
Toad was on the steps, back in his pajamas, slightly full from overgorging. The clock said it was near midnight. He felt weightless as the yellow toad sat next to him. "What are you doing here?"
"Stanley is erratic, we know. We tolerate him as William's uncle principally, and he is a valuable and benign asset if we keep an eye on him. I recall on this occasion he'd taken the keys and driven himself here, so my sincerest apologies that not I or any other brigade member were here to keep him from bantering inappropriately."
Toad skeptically scooted away. "What is even happening?"
"Mr. Toad, you eventually become desensitized to embarrassment as a silver lining! I could shout from a rooftop that I know every move to every Britney Spearguy music video right now, that is, if your dreamscape reached that far."
"Security!"
"Please, Mr. Toad!" Yellow plead, lifting off the steps. "When I sleep in proximity to someone else sleeping this usually happens. No offense. If you embraced some things, you might- Oof!"
He was slung outside by Bucken-Berry. Toad then remembered how this miserable night concluded as the blue toad that couldn't stand him 'accidentally' aimed the pressure washer nozzle his way.
…
Toad woke up, cramped in an awkward angle in the gear wagon. Looking around, they were on a cliff surrounded by chiseled rock faces, high enough where something got in his eye the moment the breeze picked up. After some somber earnest thought he discreetly texted Jr. Troopa, first apologizing for any past insensitivity. The reply was in seconds, unsure what he meant. That spun Toad for a second. Troopa asked where he was already. No one had gotten there. Toad mentioned mountains. Troopa said that's where the KT are. Toad couldn't detect where.
He tumbled out and rolled against Yellow Toad, standing upright and sleeping. The other brigade members scanned around with handheld detectors. Toad grabbed the unused one of Yellow, silently thanked him, and crept to the edge. Now he saw the koopas far down with something ominous going on, also much smoke. The brigade could only be deliberately avoiding that, proving what he already knew. He unfolded the cape mercifully still around his neck and lept off while they weren't looking. He flew… for twenty feet, then it was more of a free-fall.
They trekked to the fortress again on foot, over chomping munchers, sneaking around native homes, crawling through dense bush, and ducking from swoopers, until they burst upon a semi-cleared out piece of civilization, the fortress with the smoke beacon. It was actually some guy's house.
"If only I had the foresight to take the phone from Toad before he left. We could just tell Jackson to, you know, have that security system deactivated."
"Toad's probably goofed off and installed Thrice Candy Crush Saga."
"Give him some credit," Luigi snapped, flushing. He was starting to worry about his friend, worry about if they'd make it the fortress this time, and worry about how his brother was so discombobulated, likely thinking about how it might go down with Bowser, he'd walked the last mile without his hat and with his shoes on the wrong foot.
Beyond the sign stating: "Hear ye, Voice of the Forest", a two storied log home had satellite dishes, solar panels, and swerving surveillance cameras on the roof, highly illuminated as night crept on by the electric powered stadium lights. On the ground were laser trip wires and old fashioned barb-wires surrounding the property. While the recently cut grass held nothing, a sour greasy smell of old tools, stale oil and gas was strong.
In their normal wear, they crossed the laser barrier, anxiously preparing for anything. Mario had claimed beforehand that he'd put up a game of Roshambo to thwart that mechanical hand, and Luigi bet against that, either way that would go unresolved as nothing happened. Insects were their only fierce enemy left as they stepped on the porch. The lamp was lit. The window had a blue glow. Luigi felt his heart thump, hesitating to reach for the buzzer.
He yelped when Mario tapped him, sheepishly.
"-I left behind my duffle bag when we changed out of those powerups."
Face palming, "Mario, first your new phone now-"
"It is safely here," said a fellow Mushroomite by accent. The bag landed in between them.
The brothers spun into Larry Koopa, all blanched out, wearing Luigi's spare overalls that dragged the floor, Sentry 11 in a red shirt, and Thwomp #3 with a drawn on mustache and the M cap. The bare essentials to exploit a rudimentary computer algorithm set to destroy anyone who isn't a 'plumber.' To see Larry rebel or do something sneaky wasn't unusual, it coming together here and now rather was overwhelming and before Mario could comment on who they blatantly were, Luigi covered his mouth. Someone was stomping closer and a second later, a mega goomba with a hunter's cap, busy goatee, and bloodshot eyes kicked the door off the henge.
"I told you Bowser Freaks to stay away! I don't care if y'all are wondering what to do while wandering around in the forest cause you're lost and confused and lost three of your biggest leaders confusing my chimney smoke for the your dagnabbit ceremonial- "
"Whoa nelly! Don't X92 these folks." A little breathy from exercise earlier, someone with a shirtless ripped physique and camo pants and combat boots, a bandana, and a knife strapped to his thigh, squeezed outside.
Mario did a double take. "Jackson, wow, this is fortress? …Strangest one yet."
He promptly shrunk into a dork. "You mean the best one yet. It can look like anything Mario, as long as you keep it sanctified… Or is that saying about temples? Anyway, why did you speak Japanese and then hang up when I tried to call you before?" He nagged. "Nevermind. This is the fortress/ home of the Voice of the Forest aka Dr. Richard Goomba Sr. PhD. This guy is an off the grid post apocalypse icon I tell ya."
Like a switch flipped the mega goomba became almost normal with a polite if exhausted smile. "First year nurses always get so enamored... Ah hem. I see you are indeed heroes with such getup. I hope I did not disturb you with my abhorrence of Bowser freaks. I loathe them. I wish to not see them. Ever… Welcome to my abode!"
Plastering on a smile in return, the plumber gang stepped in. Richard Sr. seated himself at a comfy couch next to a newspaper covered window. The cable television was next to it, the source of that glow, and across from that he had doctorates on the wall, a human skeleton, a vinyl player, a portrait of a younger grumpy goomba wearing a bowtie, and an additional CRT that was set to a grid with dots on it. The landline went off once while everyone filed in. He'd answered, hummed and hung it up.
"Nurse Troopa," he went, hiding impatience. "Your presence for the past few hours was exquisite, now I must now ask you and your associates to state your purpose."
His direct command caught them off guard. Then-
"Where's my- where's.. That awful Bowser guy?" Larry volunteered first.
Richard Sr. consulted that grid screen, able to read it in a way they didn't understand. "There are 497 KT in our mountains."
"That's where they are, right now?" Luigi emphasized.
"Yes. I cannot divulge specific identities however. Heed this. I 'speak' for this great proudly rural kingdom via my telecommunication. A plethora of my neighbors, and we do stick up for one another, recounted when they saw one. From this I was able to mark the spots on my digital map. I've already set up a portal there."
"Oh, another thing," Jr. Troopa spoke up. "Dr. Goomba is also responsible for the Portal Gun, which is how his son's crew, ya know The MKDCU travel around the world in five minutes."
"Isn't that the wrong game?" Luigi asked.
Troopa turned to Luigi. "Not when a Pokemon was seen driving around here. Dr. Goomba used his special missiles for that one."
Larry meanwhile coughed up some nuts and bolts.
"I'm going to have to see that to believe that."
The goomba swung back a curtain to a pantry, empty, stuffy, and with an orange orval embedding in the way. Mario believed.
Ogling around the space, the view was too wavy to validate where it was going visually. Luigi boldly surprised everyone by peeking through first. Mario held his breath, it only lasted a few seconds when leaned back in, radiant and determined.
"Doctor, since you live off the grid, do you keep a surplus? May we borrow some?"
Shortly the Mario bros dove in with a pallet under a tarp. Despite it being wider than the portal, it all fit somehow. Larry lingered behind as they disappeared, contemplating, anguishing, and panicking alike until he formed a puddle of sweat he hoped no one noticed. By the grandfather clock's time the ceremony had commenced. If his father was gone, could he allow his family to crown his sister when the obelisk doing her bidding is what killed him? Heck no. Bracing, he dove in.
That left Thwomp #3, of which there was no such in Bowser's army since five years ago when the real one passed away. Bowser Castle was a logistical mess before a storm made it a literal one and the identity withstood scrutiny until crossing old student J.D. He should have terminated his espionage then, but how could he when it became interesting for once. Now he was this close to contributing to the rescue of his princess? He hopped right in.
…
"Move along partner. (I totally see through you..)," Jr. Troopa admonished the sentry he caught in perseveration.
Sentry 11 blinked back, the fingers he was counting still held up. The lakitu cleared his throat. He could hear Richard Sr. in the kitchen chopping rapidly something meaty with knives. Indeed he did not need his identity revealed right now.
He dragged Troopa over. "Kid, listen. I know where 'You-know-who' is now. I'd tallied him before (Wendy) put 'two' people (the princess, Toadsworth) in the toad house. I just didn't recognize his face cause he wasn't talking and was moping in a way I'd never seen before!"
Flamed torches walled off the Koopa family from the troop as the ceremony began. A blue magikoopa, not Kamek, but one that shared freshman class with him, approached with a large golden crown, a basic design, not too heavy, only adorned with red rhinestones, on a pillow of nesting material. Wendy O. sat, legs crossed on a throne of a cut tree log, situated below the Toad House with the four others. Roy, Morton, Junior, and presumably Iggy, held their breath as the magikoopa presented the crown. Wendy slowly held it, watching her reflection in the polished gold, tracing a gem with a claw. It was pristine despite originating from many dynasties back, attractive without being overabundant, but not really special.
"Stop!"
She gasped at the defector, a green plumber in the sea of seated minions. Roy barged ahead, through the torches, and got all in his face, towering over him.
"What do you care bout our business chump? Dere ain't no Bowser for y'all to fight!"
Luigi nudged him back. "You'll do. Return our princess and Toadsworth!"
Roy slapped him to the ground and sneered. "Look at this green loser, all 'lone thinkin' he's bout ta stop us! Ha ha ha!"
Only Morton joined in. Bowser Junior kept his mouth shut, knees folded, Iggy statically did what he'd always done, nothing, and Wendy gawked. Roy followed her line of sight to the additional person giggling, Luigi.
"Didn't any of you learn?"
Behind him Roy noticed that his minions, suspiciously quiet, sipping and gulping down ice cold cans of soda, barely paying attention to proceedings anymore. An unusually colored thwomp was near an empty pallet.
"What the?!"
"Give your lackeys a break. Fleeing a kingdom and staying outside all day would make anyone thirsty!"
Roy lifted Luigi and half crushed him, shouting "You are dead!"
"And.. you.. are.. distracted! Per.. your. surveyor.. minion," Luigi explained, holding his grin despite the discomfort, "You.. have.. a.. secret. captive.. you..might.. Not.. know.. about.. in. that.. Toad House."
Roy and his siblings whipped to the startling sight of Mario and Sentry 11 prying the boards that had been nailed on it. At the same time, some rogue swiped the crown from Wendy, Larry. He scuttled with it under his arm to the house and high jump kicked, the final blow that broke it in.
"Discard thy sweetened elixirs and taketh these blithering fools!" Wendy howled, shooting to her feet. "Cast them into the abyss!"
Reluctantly straying from their chilled Morel Moxies, koopas and dry bones charged in formation to apprehend the plumber ensemble. From a jungle vine, Jr. Troopa swooped in, bowling over many and knocking Morton away. His body bounced down hill. Junior ducked from the tree stomp Roy threw. Jr. Troopa's training all day kicking in, chopped it out of the sky and then squared Roy in the jaw, freeing Luigi. It was a knockout and in perfect view of the one stepping out the defunct item home.
The red crust filled eyes, scanned over the scene, his pesky plumber enemies, the conspicuous crowning ceremony, awestruck minions, dumbfounded children, and Larry holding the crown before him. His pallid second youngest son looked from the crowd to his father, one tear streaming down.
"I knew you were still around, dad.." He lifted it to Bowser, the only sounds to them the sizzle of carbonated cans in the distance.
Speechless, Bowser accepted and foreignly wore it for once on his lumpy head, the unevenness of his unkempt hair crooking the placement. None the less he was King again and that was that.
Or not!
"WAIT A MINUTE!" He exploded, stomping the ground. All the torches fell over and birds scattered from trees all around. "What did I just walk into? A sham ceremony? What the heck are you all doing?! I avoided everybody because I wanted time to think and somebody shuffled me in there for some reason then it got boarded up and then.. I don't remember- but now you replace me and let Luigi and Mario foil a plan for world domination I haven't even made yet?!"
There was an earsplitting eruption of pleas from his subjects.
"SHUT UP! This is what's up. Thanks to that time out I am a deep meditative Koop King in touch with erm.. The thingies. Where's gramps and old hag? .. Huh?! Gone? No way idiots. I feel an overwhelming aura of crotchetiness and moldy cheese in my soul. Yeah they are alive and will beat you all with a switch for drinking caffeine drinks this late AND for replacing me so soon!"
The Koopa Troop shrieked in horror, running off and hiding into the trees or underground to avoid the wrath of their elders. Wendy screamed in place, eye flashing. Bowser ignoring that, only finding it strange that her tantrum wasn't making it spontaneously rain like it always did.
Luigi confidently strolled past the shocked stupid faces of his kids. "Is Peach and Toadsworth in there?"
"And moooooore!" Invisible against the sky, a cape wearer landed clumsily on the roof of the home with a detector flashing in blaring.
"Toad?! You.. how did you get here? What is that?"
Toad peeled his face off the mushroom tiles and slid off to the ground. Luigi caught him, perplexed and immensely relieved the same to see him again.
He turned over. "Thanks.. Haha…Was I late to the epic thing you did? Darn. I fell for like, hours.. I was with Captain Toad, total screw job. Never mind this boring metal detector." He dropped it. " I had to tell you and your brother what I discovered when I looked though this tele…scope.." He reached in his back pocket, eyes widening at what wasn't there.
"Telescope?"
"Nothing. Just.. I can stand. Go do your thing," Toad said, very uncomfortable suddenly.
Bowser off to the side rolled his eyes. "Ignore these extra characters. Yeah Peach and her old man is in there yadda yadda. Do your hero thing already.."
Back to business, Luigi prodded him back to the Toad House with Mario in the rear, making sure no one counter attacked. They entered the dark cold clay building, emptied, with and upstairs. After flashing a signal, Luigi darted for that while Mario remained with Bowser on the smaller cramped lower floor. His nemesis aware of how this post-battle interrogation went, he reversed until his spikes hit the stairwell wall. He was in view of the window and in the moonlight, and a lot of scarring popped out at Mario, there was a part of a statue in here, a blue one.
"You did a bad thing."
"Well duh."
"Why?"
"To fight you!"
"..."
Bowser shrugged. "So what's so different about this millionth time I've been defeated?"
"Because Bowser this time..." Mario steadied, channeling disappointment and anger, along with solace that he was alive, the perceptivity that he could not judge him without accounting for his role, into an action.
Lost in the embrace that followed, something was new about it this time. Bowser wasn't sure what it was except that it made him do this.
"Alright, I'm sorry for this stuff I guess!" he blurted out. "I mean, I took her, yeah then other crap started going wrong. Something was in my system and I thought a good fight would bring it out. It didn't…"
They separated only a little in their embrace. "Bowser, this is where I was getting at. It's different because.. Would you retire with me?"
Bowser appeared to let that sink in. "And …Just play tennis all day?" He released the plumber to fold his arms and stare off grouch like. "My EVERYTHING is awry in case ya can't see. I've lost my home, most of my troops. Two of my sons haven't returned from outta town. One of my sons looks like a hologram. My daughter just took being a brat too far! And my gramps is flat out missing, along with my ugly hag in-law and my clown car keys!"
"-I get that angle. Really. I had to start from scratch too once, you know. After you get situated and we cure people of Mushroom Flu- You still aren't getting out of that!" Mario punched him lightly, then eased up. "I understand just by hanging with Peach that there's a lot involved in delegating, but if you're willing to consider it then I'll help you." He reached for his claw and squeezed.
Bowser faced him tentatively. "Stop. W-we can't."
"Fine."
"-Cause I gotta do this!" He lunged at the red plumber, forcing him to flip backwards across the doorway and against the opposite wall, in the perfect spot for Bowser to snatch him and lift him upward, his feet dangling.
"Bowser! Come on!" Mario fussed, punching and kicking the air.
"I thought you loved it like this?"
Mario stopped struggling.
In spite of that build up, the shallow breaths of both, the inferno inside, all he could go for was a quick- strictly platonic! -Peck on those chubby cheeks.
.…
This toad home was deceptively large, wider at the stop and with far too many steps to tackle at night-
"Luigi, is that you?"
The princess's voice was so…
"Are you two okay?" he panted.
"I am.. In one part, yes."
He felt his heart thump in his chest as he bent down to her curled in the corner with Toadsworth. She reached out and felt around until her gloveless hand rested on Luigi's forearm.
"Peach, are you okay?"
Some fresh moonlight caught her visage, shining through a bang in her stringy blonde hair. Luigi breathed out 'Oh God..'
Authors note: Next time. Can we make progress on this flu thing? Yes we can. Did I give up on unique chapter names? Not not at all. Is this style foreshadowing a key character coming up? Yes it is, or at least one of them.
-Yes I took the interpretation of the 'Special One' concept from Disney's Maleficent, lol
-Prof. E. Gadd's theory on toads is partially a meta allusion and a reference to a fic I made 'Toads are Genderless Species', an intentional departure from my style at the time. It is uploaded here. It has a different continuity to this fic, but you will notice many of the same cast and similar characterization.
-Hopefully I don't have to explain what 'Stan' means?
Split from previous (note same as previous chapter as this is a double release): 9/18, 9/20, (new) 9/25, 9/27- 9/28, 10/1, 10/2- 10/5, 10/7, 10/8- 10/10, 10/13, 10/14, 10/15- 10/18
