The Room, Unslept in

A/N: I cannot believe this is Chapter 6 of this story. I set off to write a one-off story about what it must have been like for Angela to come home that first night after leaving Iowa. You all encouraged me to write more, so here we are on Chapter 6. The more I wrote, the more I thought about those two months of separation – events that were coming up, missed, or thought about, etc. The story goes on … I have another author's note below because I didn't want to give away anything in this chapter ahead of time.

PS – I don't own any of the characters from Who's the Boss? I also don't own the song(s) I use in this story. If you like the songs included here and don't remember them or haven't heard them before, YouTube is a great place to listen. Thank you again for following me on this painful two-month journey.

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Chapter 6: Miserable May

By day 7 of Angela's return to Connecticut, Hannah was gone. She was just a wee bit too inquisitive for Angela's taste and desire for privacy. Her inquiring mind led to questions Angela did not want to address, namely why she wasn't sleeping in her bed. How Hannah found out, Angela did not know. She thought she was getting the bedding out of her office and upstairs before Hannah arrived, and she didn't leave any bedding around for Hannah to see. And realistically, that could cause other problems Angela didn't want to deal with. Her housekeeper needed to be discreet, and now she had lost trust that this information wouldn't get out to other Oak Hills Drive residents – those nosey neighbors she and Tony had dealt with for all their years together – wondering what was "really" going on at Angela's house after the lights went out.

The next several weeks saw other housekeepers come and go from the house. It was like a revolving door. It left Mona frustrated over all the time she had to spend dealing with the agency the housekeepers were coming from.

Mona, Jonathan, and even Sam and Hank couldn't count on regular food and drink replenishments being made to the refrigerator and cabinets. As soon as they'd get used to a housekeeper, the housekeeper would be gone. By the beginning of May, there had been three housekeepers in total, the current one being Charlene. They all wondered how long she would last.

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This was going to be a difficult day for Angela. Today was supposed to be their one-year anniversary. May 9, 1993. Instead, Angela was laying on a sofa, uncomfortable as she had ever been recently, in her office tying to sleep. Her back hurt, her feet hurt, her head hurt, and she was still experiencing nausea and stomach upset on a regular basis. Instead of laying together locked into one another celebrating their one-year anniversary, Tony lay asleep over 1,000 miles away at Wells.

Angela woke up dreading this day. She knew it was going to be a tough one – the sadness permeated the room she was sleeping in. It was a dark, dreary day for a Sunday spring day. She heard the rain streaming down the side of the house. She got up and moved her blanket and pillow upstairs – again ahead of the rest of the household waking up, ensuring no one knew where she was sleeping. She was usually a late sleeper, and getting up day after day so early was keeping her continuously tired, actually exhausted.

She quietly showered and dressed for a day at home.

"Thank goodness we have that pitch for the bagged salad company coming up. That'll keep my mind off today," Angela thought aloud.

She headed downstairs to start brewing some coffee knowing that the new housekeeper, Charlene wasn't due for another hour. She poured the coffee and went into the living room on her way to her office. But she didn't head for her office immediately. Instead, she walked back and forth aimlessly in the living room sipping on the coffee she held in her hand. She was imagining pink roses in the beautiful Tiffany vase ("vozzzz") Tony gave her that Christmas day six years prior. She looked at the fireplace ledge thinking about wedding photos that should've been sitting on that ledge. She shook her head holding back tears.

On this day, she wondered if they had made the right decision in putting off their wedding last year. If they had married, then the three-year contract wouldn't have been an issue. Tony would've turned it down and they would've been getting ready to return to Connecticut the next month - together. Then she wondered, maybe not – maybe they still would've broken up so he could keep the job in Iowa. She wouldn't have wanted to hold him back after all he had done for her …. "no, no, no, that wouldn't have happened," she said aloud shaking her head again as she held a debate with herself as she imagined all of these different scenarios. Maybe there wouldn't have been a three-year contract at all because Tony would've told Dr. Graham right at the beginning of his tenure he was there just for the year, and that they'd have to get back to Connecticut for Angela's company as they had agreed upon.

All these thoughts swirling around in her head were giving Angela a headache. She went into the downstairs bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. She found some Tylenol and threw them into the back of her mouth, washing them down with the coffee in the cup she had brought in with her.

Mona and Jonathan could soon be heard leaving their rooms upstairs to come down for breakfast. Charlene hadn't gotten to the house yet, so everyone headed to the kitchen to make their own breakfast. When they got to the kitchen table, Mona did something she rarely did, especially in front of others. She gave Angela a tight hug, knowing how much Angela was hurting this morning. The date had not gotten by her. No words were exchanged. Angela patted Mona's back in gratitude for the gesture.

"Angela, what are your plans today?" Mona asked tentatively.

Angela was quick to respond, "I've got some final touches to put on the pitch for the bagged salad account. We don't have much time left to finalize our presentation for Mr. Dolan."

"Do you want any help with anything?" Mona offered in another rare show of concern. Mona wasn't always the warmest mother to Angela, but in times like this, she knew her daughter was desperately missing Tony, and she wanted to do something to offer her support.

"No, thank you, Mother. I've got everything I need for final reviews." Angela answered back.

"Mom, I'm going over to Steve's today to work on some final projects … that is unless you want me to stay here with you today," …. Jonathan cautiously offered his mother.

At that moment, the doorbell rang. Before hearing Angela's answer back, Jonathan sprinted out of the kitchen to get the door. Soon chatter could be heard coming from the living room. Charlene and Jonathan quickly walked into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Charlene. You look soaked. I'll get you a towel to dry off. Please don't hesitate to take a cup of coffee or make yourself a cup of tea," Angela started to get up from her chair.

"Sure, Mrs. Bower," Charlene offered, grateful to dry off more from the downpour she'd walked a few blocks in. Angela left for the dining room hutch to get some towels out of the drawer. She returned offering the towels to Charlene.

"Jonathan, to answer your question," Angela let Jonathan know, "No, you don't have to stay today. Please go ahead and go to Steve's so you can work on your school project. I'll be okay." Angela tried to hide how she was really feeling so she wouldn't upset anyone else.

Jonathan wasn't convinced knowing his mother always dug further into her work when something was bothering her. "Bye, Grandma, Mom, and Charlene." Jonathan went through the swinging door, went upstairs to get his school work, put on his rain gear, and left for the day.

A few hours had gone by when Angela heard a knock on her office door. "Come in," thinking it was her mother.

"Hi, Angela, how is your presentation coming along?" Sam said trying to be cheerful.

"Hey, Sam. It's coming together well. How are your finals coming along?" Angela tried to be cheerful back, both knowing there was an elephant in the room, and wondering who was going to broach it first.

"Sam, it's okay to mention what you're thinking about," Angela tried to break the ice first.

"Oh, Angela, I've been thinking about you all day," Sam walked over to Angela who stood up from her desk to accept the hug Sam was offering to her.

"Thank you, sweetheart. I'm not going to lie to you and say today is easy, it's not, but both of us are doing what we love – just not together." Angela said sadly.

As Samantha took in what Angela was telling her, Samantha decided to offer Angela a chance to get out of the house for part of the day. "Do you want to go out for some shopping therapy or to see a movie?" Samantha kindly offered.

"Oh, that's so thoughtful of you, Sam, but I've got to get this work ready for my potential new client. Thank you though. Maybe you and Hank can go to the movie instead," Angela suggested. …and Sam – I hope you and Hank have dismissed the idea of moving out of the apartment. I want you here – with me – you're as close to being my daughter as I've ever had, and I'd never ask you to leave your home."

"Thank you, Angela. I don't know why we thought we should do that in the first place. It was something that came from Hank in the spur of the moment, and it made me think, but I knew I couldn't leave you. You're my Mom – the only Mom I've had for the past 9 years. I don't want to do anything that would hurt you."

Angela and Samantha gave each other bear hugs, and then Samantha left telling Angela, she and Hank would be back for dinner later.

Angela sat back down at her desk trying to concentrate on her work. She returned to playing with the engagement ring on her finger while her eyes occasionally darted around her office looking at various photos of them. … of them, and thinking about what would've been their first anniversary. Eventually, she put her head into her hands and cried – a despondent kind of cry thinking of the loss she was going through. She'd known that despondency once before with Tony, but this was so much worse, so much worse. This was so final.

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Soon after their non-wedding anniversary, Angela had to deal with another thought and another first. It was three weeks plus one day that she had left Iowa. It was the longest time that she and Tony had not seen or spoken to each other. Prior to this day, the longest they had been separated had been their first summer as a family. She couldn't wait for him to get back from Florida that summer. The house had been so lonely, and she was still thinking about her birthday kiss during that time. Something had been stirring within her and she wondered what would happen after he and Sam got back from their vacation. Anthony and Ingrid is what happened she remembered as she shook her head still not believing that fateful night all those years ago.

She kept this milestone to herself, but a lot of moping was involved on this inauspicious day. She kept to herself at The Bower Agency. Mona and Angela's team left her to herself knowing they were all walking on eggshells for some unspoken reason on this day. Angela didn't take many calls and didn't see any clients on this day. She couldn't wait to get home and escape to her office. She barely ate her dinner and only drank some water and tea so she wouldn't get dehydrated. She was totally bereft at the loss she was feeling. She couldn't wait to get through this miserable month of May.

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A few weeks later, it was May 20th - Angela's birthday. Her very first without Tony. Another first she would have to get through without him. Her mind drifted back to two notable birthdays she had shared with Tony: one involving a first adult kiss between them and one that mortified her when she thought about how she blurted out her love for Tony in her sleep. She still turned red when she thought about that. But it was the truth then, and it was still the truth.

She wanted to forget her birthday this year. She hoped no one remembered it, just like that first year she and Tony wound up in the kitchen blasted. This year, there'd be no freshly baked chocolate fudge cake with walnuts. In her mind, Angela could smell the heavy scent of chocolate in their kitchen and thought about the fun Tony always had baking her favorite cakes. She loved sitting on the counter licking the chocolate off of the mixers while she and Tony talked about everything and nothing.

This was one year she did not want a surprise party. Her stomach couldn't handle any surprises. Her nerves could not handle a party.

Her phone rang and when she picked it up, it was Wendy on the other end. "Hey, Angela. happy birthday," Wendy cheerfully said to Angela. Wendy knew Angela wouldn't be in the best mood today. In fact, they hadn't spent very much time together at all since she came back from Iowa. Wendy knew she needed to do something to help get Angela out of her funk.

"Hi, Wendy. Thanks, but I'm not in the mood to talk about birthdays today. I was hoping no one would acknowledge it today." Angela said with not much emotion.

"I'm sorry, Angela, but Isabel and I wanted to take you out to dinner tonight to help take your mind off of …. off of things," Wendy proposed. "A few drinks, some Mexican food … maybe Pepe is still at our favorite Mexican place." She tried to lighten the mood.

Angela thought about it for a moment and reluctantly agreed to go with them. She did need to get out and start thinking about her future. She hoped her stomach could tolerate the food, but she wasn't about to touch any alcohol tonight. She got nauseous just thinking about it.

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Angela, Isabel, and Wendy had been at the restaurant for almost an hour talking and catching up.

The food came. Angela took one look at it, sniffed it, and rushed off to the bathroom.

When Angela got back to the table, she expressed with uncertainty "I don't know what's been going on. Since I've gotten home – actually, even before I came home," she realized aloud… "I was so depressed in Iowa. But I've been sick to my stomach most of the time since coming home, too." Angela admitted.

Isabel and Wendy lifted their heads and while Angela was looking in her purse for a mint, looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then they shook their heads at each other mouthing, "Nah."

"So, how's work going?" Isabel asked when Angela had gotten comfortable again trying to change the subject.

"It's going well, we won the bagged salad account my team pitched last week. It's a new product going to market, and it's going to save people a lot of time when preparing meals." Angela excitedly told Isabel and Wendy. This was a conversation that put Angela back in the zone again. She was always excited to talk about advertising.

"Let us drink a toast to salad!" Wendy exclaimed holding her Daiquiri up ready to clink two other glasses. She was already a little tipsy.

"Wendy, I'm on call again," Isabel regretfully mentioned.

"I can't touch any alcohol after being so sick," Angela looked at both of them. She picked up a tortilla chip to nibble on.

When the waiter, Pepe – who was still at the restaurant after all these years – passed by, Angela stopped him to order a ginger ale. He happily obliged and brought one over and placed it in front of Angela. He knew it was Angela's birthday because Isabel and Wendy had told him, so he put some cherries on a plastic sword and an umbrella in her drink. She smiled and thanked him.

The Mariachi band started playing, and customers were getting up to dance. Memories trickled into Angela's mind of the trip to Mexico with the family. It had been the first time since Tony moved in that he saw another side of her – a playful side she had been keeping in (well, maybe except for the first birthday they were together when they were playing with flour). That trip had been the impetus for Angela to start her own agency – all thanks to Tony and the courage he gave her to break out of the stifling life she had at Wallace and McQuade. She knew she would be forever grateful to Tony for that. It changed all their lives if she was being honest with herself.

"Angela, Angela," Isabel was nudging Angela back to the present …." you were a million miles away - are you feeling sick again?" Isabel asked in her professional voice.

"No, I'm fine, Isabel," Angela thanked her friend by putting her head on her shoulder and patting her arm. "Thanks for caring."

"Of course, we care, Angela. We were shocked to find out you had come home – without Tony," Isabel admitted. "Angela, we know how hard this must be for you. We're not going to ask what happened. You can tell us whatever you want and feel comfortable with. Just know that we're both here for you if you need us." Wendy seconded that.

"Thanks for being such good friends," Angela was so grateful for both of them. She smiled at them as she held back the tears she worried would escape from her eyes.

To distract her from her tears, Angela picked up the ginger ale to take a sip. Then she sat back against the cushions of the booth. She continued to nibble on the tortilla chips since that was the only thing she felt she could tolerate at the moment.

Eventually, an order of flan with a candle came out, and the waiters, Isabel, and Wendy joined in singing Happy Birthday to Angela. Then she closed her eyes and made a wish – a wish she had originally made that night at Joe's Tiki Bar after blurting out her love for Tony the night before. A wish she knew wouldn't come true this time … but that didn't stop her from making the wish just the same.

All three shared the flan, the sweetness feeling really good to Angela and her queasiness. The rest of her meal was wrapped up so she could take it home for the family.

When Isabel dropped Angela off at home, Angela walked into a darkened house. Charlene had gone for the day but not before setting up the kitchen for breakfast the next day Angela had noticed when she put the leftover food in the refrigerator. Jonathan had gone to sleep, and Mona appeared not to have come home for the night. But they both had left cards in envelopes on the kitchen table for her. There was a small gift-wrapped box from Sam and Hank. But what she really wished for – pink roses – were nowhere to be found.

She walked back into the living room, once again looking at the empty vase. She sighed before going up the stairs to her bedroom to gather her bedding to bring down to her office.

She got undressed, showered, put on her nightgown. She grabbed the bedding and lugged it down to her office.

She settled on the couch realizing she had made it through her birthday in one piece. She was exhausted and quickly dozed off this time. She was glad that this miserable May would be over soon.

Author note: In the episode Better Off Wed, Tony and Angela mention a wedding date of May 14 – it would have been May 14, 1992. That date was a Thursday, and I don't see them getting married on a Thursday night, so I changed the date to the previous weekend – a Saturday night – May 9th, 1992. Hope you all don't mind. And yes, I know Tony needs to be brought into the story – stay tuned ... not much longer to go.

The End – Chapter 6 of The Room, Unslept In – Miserable May

Chapter 7 coming soon….