The Room, Unslept in

A/N: Time for Chapter 8! There was so much going on during those two months that Tony & Angela were apart. I've tried to take you through those two months covering holes that were left by the writers. + some other things that could've been happening.

PS – I don't own any of the characters from Who's the Boss? I also don't own the song(s) I use in this story. I've tried to pick songs that remind me of Tony & Angela and their relationship. If you'd like to hear them, check out YouTube – you can find just about everything there.

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Chapter 8: Small Expectations

On an early June evening, Angela prepared for another night on her office sofa, her bedroom upstairs still not slept in – not even for a nap since coming home back in mid-April. Every time she went in there, she felt a pit in her stomach and despair that hurt her heart. She didn't know when she'd be able to sleep in there. She started to think that she might have to re-arrange the room or redecorate the room or even re-do the room again to be able to sleep in it. There were so many thoughts churning around in her mind validating what her mother and Tony always told her about thinking too much.

Once she fell asleep, Angela's dreams took her back to a few months after Tony had moved out to Iowa. IOWA. A place where she had encouraged Tony to take the dream job at Wells Junior College. It offered him everything he could've ever hoped for as a first-time teacher. What she hadn't bargained for was the pain the separation caused both of them, but especially for Angela. She'd never felt so needing of someone before in her life. But Tony was different. Her love and desire for him was so strong that the separation became too distressful for her.

It turned out she wasn't alone in those feelings. She and Tony had seriously discussed what the separation was doing to the both of them and how it was making them both crazy. They both realized how much they missed each other and agreed that the long time it took them to get together had made them both clingier than they had realized. They both decided together that there was only one solution. It wasn't long phone calls or commuting back and forth.

Angela moved out to Iowa in time for Tony's second semester. She'd worked throughout the holiday season with her team at The Bower Agency to ensure all the accounts were informed of her leave and that everything was as up-to-date as they could be. Jonathan was set at school for his final semester. She was not happy to be missing so many of his high school lasts, but Jonathan reassured her he'd be okay. Her mother agreed that she would look after Jonathan until the middle of June when she and Tony came home. Jonathan promised to call as often as he could to fill her and Tony in with what was happening at school and what they needed to know about his upcoming graduation. While her arrival had been rather embarrassing due to a bumpy flight and too much to drink, things settled down quickly.

She dreamed on to a quiet January night in their Iowa apartment. It was one of those rare nights where Tony didn't have a class to teach, there were no baseball meetings, no bowling or painting - it was just them – together with no interruptions. Outside the window they could see soft snowflakes piling up on the window sill and further out on the walkway. A pot of hot tea and two filled mugs were on the coffee table waiting for them to drink. Next to the tea were delicious smelling chocolate chip cookies with walnuts that had recently come out of the oven. The lights were lit to their lowest setting.

All of you was playing over the radio. Julio Iglesias and Diana Ross were singing to each other with an intensity that permeated the room. Angela and Tony were sitting on the sofa. Tony was laying along the sofa cushions with Angela between his legs. Her head was tilted up perfectly for Tony to reach her lips. They were listening to the words and kissing each other with the same passion as the song was inferring.

I never had this feeling before
I never wanted anyone more
And something in your eyes tells me
You feel the way that I do, I feel like you do

If you would like to stay here all night
You know that I would say it's all right
Although I'm saying, yes, I confess, I've got more on my mind
'Cause I want more of you than your time

All of you, your body and soul
Every kind of love you can express
All the secret dreams you've never told
I want everything and I'll take nothing less

All of you as long as you live
Everything you've never shared before
I want all of you that you can give
All your joys and all your sorrows
Your todays and your tomorrows

How I'd long to feel the warmth of your touch
And then if I'm not asking too much
I'd like to spend my life wandering through
All the wonders of you, all the wonders of you

And when we're lying close in the dark
So close I feel each beat of your heart
I want you to reveal what you feel, all you hold deep inside
There is nothing I want you to hide

All of you, your body and soul
Everything you want this love to be
I want all of you, all that you can give
And in return for all you're giving let me give you all of me

All of you, your body and soul
Every kind of love you can express
All the secret dreams you've never told
I want everything, everything, everything

All of you as long as you live, as long as you live
Everything you want this love to be
I want all of you, all that you can give
In return, in return, I wanna give you

As the song faded and a new song took its place, Tony cleared his throat and started saying something about babies, Angela still had her mind on the song that had been playing.

"What did you say, Tony?" Angela asked distractedly still thinking about the song that had ended a few minutes ago.

"Angela, I've been thinking about what you said at Samantha's wedding. Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" Angela asked looking up, her eyes meeting his, curiously having an idea where this conversation was going.

"That if we hadn't waited so long to get together that we could've had a baby together"?

Tony asked simply.

Now that he had gotten her full attention, Angela brought herself up to a sitting position and brought Tony up with her. They both sat with their backs against the sofa cushions. She then began to speak thoughtfully, "I was wondering when or if that would come up again."

The subject had been dropped after Tony interrupted and hurried Angela to get to the point of asking Samantha and Hank to wait a little longer before getting married. Angela wasn't sure if she wanted to bring it up herself, so it was put on the backburner. "There was so much chaos that day, and then the kids came back with no place to live, and then, well, then this," Angela said as she turned her head and motioned around the room.

"We were raising Billy together before we had to give him back to his grandmother," Angela went on sadly taking Tony's hand in hers. The disappointment of losing Billy still rang raw on their psyches. They still remembered the look on Billy's face when they went to see him in Brooklyn to let him know his ring-bearing duties were being postponed until Tony came back from Iowa. He had been so disappointed. He had, after all, thought that Tony and Angela were already married, and now this delay was making him even more confused.

"You still have the complete set of Dr. Seuss." Tony said and grinned reminding her of the conversation they had at the hospital when they went to see Billy's grandmother to finalize the agreement to raise him.

She got his meaning, and that's all it took for Angela to get up, walk to the bathroom, and take her birth control pills in hand. When she got back to the living room, she looked at Tony and saw a gleam in his eyes telling her that they were on the same page. She grabbed him off the couch. They walked back to their room, and Angela opened the closet. She ceremoniously tossed the pills packet into her overnight case.

… and that's how it began.

That was just in January, and now it was the beginning of June.

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The night wore on and so did her dreams.

"If I were to have another child right now, I'd want Angela to be the mother."

"Tony, if we were to have a child together..."

"I wouldn't advise waiting 8 years like we did. Four or five years, maybe, but not eight. If we hadn't waited so long, maybe I could've had another ba…".

Angela's eyes flew open as she startled herself awake with a certain reality starting to settle in her mind. "Oh, no, no, no….no, it couldn't be," her head shaking back and forth as she nervously thought aloud.

She sat up rubbing her eyes, got off her sofa and started pacing back and forth. Her mind wandered back to her dream – the baby conversation back in January! The tossing of her birth control into her overnight bag not to be seen again until she got back to Connecticut!

She looked down at her stomach and realized she wasn't losing weight any more but gaining some. She thought it was the new housekeeper's, Marge's, cooking and forcing all that fried food down when she wasn't sick to her stomach. Well, maybe it was some of that, but no, it was more. All the nausea. The throwing up. The bloated feeling. The tiredness even after sleeping all night, albeit restless due to the constant dreams of her and Tony. Looking down she also realized she had more cleavage than a few months ago.

She sat back down on the sofa. She thought back to those final months in Branford. Even though she stopped taking the birth control pills, she knew the chances of getting pregnant at her age were so low, only 20 – 25%. That's what her gynecologist had told her. She and Tony had talked about that. They talked about their small expectations and that it probably wasn't in their cards. And they had accepted that. Not that it stopped them from attempting to defy those odds. That was about the only thing she liked about Iowa.

They talked about a lot of things concerning a possible pregnancy after she stopped taking the birth control pills, she remembered and thought back to some of those conversations. Although it made more sense to have these discussions sooner, neither of them thought she'd get pregnant at all with those odds. So, they took advantage of that "extra" time for their heart-to-heart conversations.

One morning at breakfast, the discussion was about being certain about going forward with a pregnancy. "Tony, are you absolutely sure about this? A baby is a lot of work. Do we want to spend all of our time taking care of a baby? What about us? Are we ready to commit another 18 years dedicated to raising a child? It took us forever to get together. Don't you want to spend that time being a couple? What about our ages, especially mine?" All of Angela's concerns were bubbling up to the surface in rapid succession, which was one of the reasons she hadn't brought up the baby conversation again to Tony.

She remembered how Tony tried to convince her that he was fine with them having a baby. "Angela, I'm fully committed to us having a baby if it works out" he told her. "In fact, I've wanted this for so long, as much as I've wanted you for all these years," he confessed.

That made her smile. "So sweet," she told him. As they ate their breakfast, he went on, "Angela, I want to spend as much time with you as I can. We can still spend time as a couple if a baby comes along." He stopped talking to drink some juice. "We'll probably be a lot more tired than a younger couple, but hey, I think we both still have a lot of energy to use up for a little person. The baby will probably keep us younger for a longer time, too." Tony said convincingly.

Angela remembered the fun she had teaching Billy to ride his bicycle a few years back and how rewarding it was to see how excited he was when he managed to ride his two-wheeler without any help.

"Hmmm," Angela emitted softly as she listened to Tony go on.

"Angela, I also want you to know that if a baby doesn't happen for us, I want you to know that you're enough for me. You've always been enough for me. I love you so much. Whatever happens, happens, and I'm fine with that. It's taken so much for us to get to this point. Are you okay with it?" Tony asked her with concern.

Angela loved how much he knew her. He knew how much she struggled with her self-confidence sometimes, and she knew he wanted her to understand how much he loved her and if a baby wasn't going to happen, he'd still be 100 % happy with that. In fact, in the back of her mind, she also worried that things could go wrong very quickly. She didn't want to do anything to endanger herself or a baby. "We'll find the best doctors to help during the pregnancy," he promised her. I'll watch over you like a hawk and make sure you have the healthiest food I can cook for you. I don't want to do anything that would endanger your life" Then he moved closer to her and took her into his arms, "Mi Amore…" and kissed her. Angela took that conversation to heart and upped her confidence that if she got pregnant, she'd have all the support she needed to have a healthy baby. Yet questions remained.

Their next discussion was about what would happen to the baby when they both went back to work.

"Tony, when I had Jonathan, I had to hurry back to work so some other man wouldn't suddenly take over my job." Angela started.

I'd never ask you not to work, Ange." I'd never want you to sacrifice your Agency or the work I know you love."

"But this time, I'd want to take a normal maternity leave, something I never got to do when Jonathan was born. And then there was the pressure from Michael NOT to go back to work at all. It was a stressful, confusing time back then." Angela told Tony the story again, one she'd told him before.

"Angela, we can talk some more about it when AND if you get pregnant." Tony affirmed to her.

And Angela remembered that they had several more conversations, leaving her confident that this was something they both wanted.

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Sitting on the couch, she considered what had been going on with her body for the past few months. She thought the stress was causing the couple of missed periods she experienced. But now, panic started to set in. It had been almost three months now since the symptoms had started. She had to get to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test. It was too early in the morning to go out, but she had to get out as soon as possible. What in the world was she going to do? Tony was out in Iowa - she was in Connecticut. How did this happen so fast with the odds so great against it happening at all she questioned?

So many things went through her mind as she thought about what a pregnancy would mean now. She couldn't tell Tony and have his dream disappear because of this. She couldn't have him leave his dream job because of this. "He'd wind up resenting me – and the baby – forever!" Angela sighed out loud

Wait! She still wasn't 100% positive she was pregnant. She told herself to calm down. It would be a few hours before the pharmacy opened and she could get a test. She decided to get two just in case she made a mistake with the first one and to confirm whatever the first one told her.

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Angela drove a few towns over to buy the tests, just in case someone saw her buying them in Fairfield. She then drove to a near-by hotel and went into the bathroom. She had to know as soon as possible.

She opened the first pregnancy test. Her hands shook as she took the test. Then she waited the amount of time the box said. POSITIVE!

She then used the second pregnancy test. She waited again. POSITIVE!

The truth set in. She was pregnant.

After the news settled in, her first instinct was to run to the phone and tell Tony the incredible news. She ran to the phone in the lobby and picked it up. She dropped some coins in. She started to dial Tony, then hurriedly put the receiver back down again wondering what she was doing. No, she was going to deal with this herself as she lifted her head stoically. Just like she'd dealt with all the other things as a single mother before Tony came along. She obviously wasn't thinking straight at this moment.

She drove back home with stars in her eyes in a complete daze not believing she was expecting a baby. After all these years, she was pregnant again – and alone.

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Mona walked into the kitchen to find Angela sitting at the table with a cup of juice in her hands. She appeared to be staring into space.

Hmm, so it's true, Mona thought to herself. She had figured it out. She sure knew her daughter like a book.

"Angela, when are you going to tell Tony?" Mona asked bluntly.

"Mother, whatever do you mean?" Angela asked innocently.

"Come on, Angela, I'm your Mother!" Mona stated matter-of-factly. When are you going to tell him you're expecting his baby?

After shushing her mother in case Jonathan or Marge were around listening, Angela said in disbelief, "Mother, how do you always know these things?"

I'm good that way, you should know that by now, Dear. Besides, I haven't seen you this green in a long time. At least not since you were pregnant with Jonathan," Mona said as Angela let a small strained giggle escape.

What am I going to do,? Angela asked agonizing over the situation.

Angela, what do you want to do,? Mona queried back.

I don't want to ruin Tony's dreams and have him resent me and a baby for the rest of his life?

Do you really think that's how Tony is going to react to this? You must've talked about having children," Mona said trying to comfort Angela and lessen her doubts.

"We did Mother, but we knew the chances were slim to none that I'd be able to get pregnant. And it was under the assumption he was coming back to Connecticut and knowing we were going to get married after the school year ended. We never thought it would happen so easily so soon."

"Well …, I'd say your chances were 100% looking at you now, Angela." Mona uttered sarcastically.

Mother!" Angela cried out, not happy about being left with these doubts and uncertainties.

Clearly, Angela, you're not thinking this through. You can't hide this forever. Tony will be coming here to see Samantha and Hank and Jonathan at some point. I think he'd notice a baby hanging around.

"Mother, I've got other choices." Angela said contemplating her choices.

"I know, Angela, and you know I'll support whatever decision you make." Mona moved over to give Angela a hug, something she wasn't prone to do very often. Then she walked to the living room shaking her head wondering how long this separation was going to go on.

Angela got up and went to her office to catch up on some work. She couldn't concentrate, so she got into her car and drove around for a while. She wound up at a local park and got out of her car. She walked over to a porch type of swing and sat down to think. She was in some predicament she decided, and it was going to take some more time to decide what she was going to do knowing she didn't have much time left to make that decision. She also figured she needed to go see her doctor for an official confirmation, too. It got a little cooler out so she got back into her car and drove home.

A few hours later, she was back at the house in the kitchen. Angela looked up as the backdoor opened and Samantha walked in with some news Angela was not expecting.

"Angela - I'm going out to Iowa! Dad received an incredible award and there's going to be a big banquet in a couple of weeks. He got some teacher of the year award, and I want to be there to watch him receive it."

Angela's eyes widened, she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

The End – Chapter 8 of The Room, Unslept In – Small Expectations

Chapter 9 coming soon….