· · · · · · ·

Life was dreary, Luna was weary, Zelas was hairy, Filia was fairy, Spot was merry, Claire was clairy.

Or more adequately described, Luna was so bored that she considered refining her rhyming.

Lina was a complete idiot to think she'd be satisfied with a luxurious castle life with servants at the beck and call when adventure was in her bones.

Adventure was not in Luna's bones, she liked her structured life, thank you very much now die. It said something that even she got fed up with the monotony of what was a perfect lavish palace life.

Well, maybe not so quickly. There was a liquor cabinet.

Maybe that had something to do with the rhyming.

Crack. Luna looked down, saw the ceiling, tried again, saw the couch and bed leg before she got the direction right.

Holy hell, why were there fifteen empty bottles on the floor?

Swwwwwirly world.

Hmm ... ceiling again. She was pretty sure she hadn't tried looking at it.

Ceiling, feeling, healing ... yeah, those last two sounded good.

· · · · · · ·

"Sacred mother of hangovers ..." Luna groaned as she opened her eyes, only to shut them right away. Some cruel person had put the sun in her room.

"Your prayer has reached the intended deity. We have business hours at five every day, would you like to make an appointment?"

Luna forced herself up on her elbows to face ... a chain of rings?

Ah, Zelas. Great. The bitch leaned against one of the posters, in travel form and with a cigarette drooping from her fingers. Luna came to the profound, alcohol-aided realization that Zelas's two human forms shared the same hips.

It was just too early in the morning for hot devils. Luna swung her legs over her bed and looked at the broken glass instead.

Feet, the scent of wet dog and green fur, and there was Spot leaning over her.

Too early in the morning for scruffy troll werewolf hybrid too. Hell, how had he been even been conceived? Whatever the case, his hips just didn't look as good.

"Luna, are you alright?" he asked.

"Spot, I'm in paradise," Luna declared, flaring her arms heavenward. She held the pose for a moment before falling back on the bed, curling up in fetus position and groaning.

Zelas casually flicked her cigarette away, which landed on a nearby divan. It burst into flames.

"Oops. I strongly advise that you depart your bed, lady Luna."

"Bowl," Luna said. "Now."

Spot ran off to find something, but by the time he returned with a pot, it was too late. Luna had pushed her head over the bed's edge and vomited.

"What would your dear little sister say if she saw you like this?" Zelas purred. Literary. Catlike rattle under her breath and all. Rather than sexy, it made her inhuman. Luna swallowed the curse on her lips.

Since her human limbs did not cooperate, she projected her tendrils to push up, but even has astral form lacked focus. She hit one of the posts of the skybed with a sharp tip, and maybe something else, because the whole thing came down.

Zelas laughed, and Luna really felt that bed collapsing on her. Hard. Right in the dignity.

Spot pulled the bed pieces away. By the time Luna emerged, the burning couch had caught the curtains on fire.

Luna groaned. Had it been up to her, she'd have stayed in bed all day. Now the walls were on fire, and there went the liquor cabinet.

Spot didn't wait for permission to grab her and jump out of a window that thankfully didn't burn yet. Outside, he set her down on a log. Luna threw up again, recovering just in time to see Zelas saunter out of the mansion.

When Zelas flicked another cigarette over her shoulder, the mansion exploded.

"You burn your house often?" Spot asked.

"No, only segments of it. It ensures an alert staff," Zelas said. "Should you be envisioning burning servants, I ought to point out everyone of my court exists on the astral plane and can simply cease projecting."

"Oh, right. I'm still getting used to that idea. I can regenerate, but fire still hurts like hell."

"As someone who has been to hell, I dare say that's not a worthwhile comparison. Hellmaster Fibrizo preferred a more rocky elemental theme. Crystals all over the place. Maybe we ought to introduce some fire ..."

Spot actually laughed at that.

Since when were Spot and Zelas on chit chat base?

"Spot, wha—"

Before she got any attention, a mangy serpentine dog slithered up. For as far as its head wasn't to the ground yet, it bowed to Zelas. Its physical form was unstable, it had to be exhausted.

"Lord Beastmaster, we have returned. I've yet to question any of my spies for news, we had to return quickly to avoid being seen. The others are at the northern shore and headed this way, would you like me to gather a report?"

"I shall meet them myself, lieutenant. You are dismissed. Mister Dilgear, lead him to the mezes grove for feeding."

"Sure thing," Dilgear said. Without a single glance at Luna, he swung the devil over his shoulder and ran off.

Zelas was gone when Luna looked back at her. Then Luna's room exploded. Well then.

Seeing as her room was gone and Spot had no business taking orders from anyone but Luna, so she went after him.

Or at least, she tried. All forests functioned as one organism to a degree, but this here took that notion far more literary.

Zelas's impeccable palace belonged to her aristocrat identity, but the forest belonged to the wolf. Zephyria's wilderness didn't compare.

This forest had the eons of twisted magic behind it, trees thicker and stranger than anything she'd before. Leafs ignored the sun altogether, trees grew sideways out of steep drops and branches grew into one another. Sometimes the undergrowth was sparse, other times so dense and full of magic she couldn't see ahead on either plane.

Despite its twisted nature, the forest held brightness. Where it wasn't the sun filtering through the trees, the trees itself held a glow and veins ran across the ground. A hum formed by howls, birds and insects thrilled through the undergrowth, and one couldn't take a step without meeting life. Wolf chimeras, werewolves, trolls and wildlife shared this space in an near-natural cycle of life. Once or twice she came across a hunt, but it was almost ... peaceful.

None of this answered how all these devils survived. Did Zelas have a torture dungeon around? Then why order that devil to a grove?

She grabbed the next devil she found and pinned them down.

"You. Where is the mezes grove?" she asked.

"You're not invited there," he said.

"You're invited to not answer and die," Luna said.

And so she got the answer.

As Luna followed the directions, odd, squeaking wails came from the canopy. When there were enough to overpower the other noises, she couldn't ignore them anymore.

Between the leafs hung wombs of all sizes. Misshaped unborn writhed inside them, endlessly suffering and despairing in the way only simple minds could. They were too immature to see whether they belonged to humans or animals. It probably didn't matter.

Luna clutched her stomach. All her life of looking at Siephied's skeleton hadn't given her much of a resilience against this kind of sickness. Her astral body at least wasn't squishy, just gory. It didn't make noises like this.

She couldn't even close her eyes and stop seeing, it existed on the astral plane too. Time to figure out how to look at the ground alone, which only held magical roots.

Roots that mirrored on the astral plane several layers down.

Hell, Zelas had figured out organic life really well. The care she had poured into this island astounded even Luna, who had grown accustomed to Zephyria's grand capital. For all of Liliane's skills and intricate magic, she could not invent new forms of life.

It was common rumor in Zephyria and many other places that the devils while trapped on their islands had torture dungeons to feed them. Zelas's way avoided that altogether. Huh.

"What would you be doing here, lady Corpse? Seeking kindred bodies perhaps?"

Dammit, she had used that trick again to hide her power. Something so strong should not be able to sneak up on her, but Zelas did anyway. With just a flicker, Zelas towered before her, ears reaching into the canopy. Her projection stood in its truest form but without the armor, cloth and weapons. Luna had half expected a more humanoid outline below those, but no. She was a little disappointed.

"Looking for Spot."

"He found a better occupation than you," Zelas said, just as she pulled down one of the sacks. The mutant thing screeched as she tore it came to the air. Slowly, Zelas bore in her claws, causing blood to run down her fur. Maybe that sensation was why she'd ditched the clothes, because why else? She didn't need to eat the gore, for Zelas it was the simple emotions it felt.

The pain they brought out was so simple and messed up, Luna could barely tell despair apart from fear.

"Did you just consume some of the miasma?" Zelas asked.

"What if I did?"

"There is a difference between sampling emotional energy and actually consuming it, please tell me you know to do this."

"Eh, yeah, I can. Any other lies you wanna hear?"

Zelas flattened her ears and whined in irritation.

"It is not merely the liquor that renders you sick, is it? When you killed those angels, did you eat then too?"

Luna shrugged.

Zelas flared her wings into the canopy, tearing down some of the sacks so they hung only by the umbilical chords.

"I believe it is time I touch you how to eat like an astral being."

The womb she'd pulled down was at least five meters tall and emitted a thick cloud of misery, but that subsided. The thing inside stopped writhing and felt pleasant perhaps for the first time in its life. While lacking the refined emotions of an adult, it was amazing in its potential.

"Try eating that, and only that. It is disgraceful that you as a creature with grip on the flow cannot separate your food while I can."

Luna crossed her arms. "Pray tell, why do you bother teaching me anything?"

"I do not wish for your amateur magic to spoil the angelsblood talisman. Employ the flow technique that miss Orun taught you."

The talisman was gone and its presence simulated by Claire, who had taken a magical cue from the time she'd helped Filia astrally travel to Luna in the west. Luna was out of purpose without the talisman, so that had to stay a secret."

"Fine, I'll try eating ... do we have a word for happy foodstufs? Like opposite of miasma?"

Zelas chuckled. "There is none. Organic life has often had need to say devils have come to feed on miasma, but never did they need to say the gods have come to feed on its opposite. A few words were proposed by scholars : ambrosia, nectar and prasada are the most common. Claim one of your choosing, child."

Even if Zelas meant that as insult, child was an improvement over corpse.

Luna sat down on the root and tried to take in only what the offered felt. Perhaps on intent, Zelas pulled down her next meal nearby.

Emotional energy existed equally on both planes, as if it were what bound the layers of existence. Emotions released on the physical realm had the extra punch and spice of an organic generator. Emotions of astral beings were purer and more intense, but harder to get a grasp of since it did not travel on the worldly flow. Zelas actually thought they were less intense because of that. Luna saw no point in correcting her.

Zelas sucked away all the miasma, leaving Luna a clean field. She swallowed the dull happiness, already missing the sharp sting of misery. Every time miasma got in her range, Zelas would snatch it away. That did not leave a clean field : Zelas herself felt many negative things.

Right now, her fear and worry stood out beyond anything. It gave Luna something to practice rejecting even before Zelas loosened her intake on the miasma, but more importantly, it told Luna something new.

She had always assumed that Xelloss was odd because the Sea of Chaos sent him back different, but no. Zelas displayed similar borderline taboo emotions for a devil.

Hmm, maybe her messing with Spot wasn't just to spite Luna.

"So, what are you doing with Spot?" Luna asked on the tail of her whim. "Bored with worrying over your kid and driving away time with prying my dog away from me?"

"I am merely offering mister Dilgear better employment. I may hope you intend no criticism, you who temps priestesses to turn on their gods?" Her tail wooshed like an irritated cat.

"Nah, not criticism. Just wanna know why you bother."

"Why would I not? I have time to spare and always seek worthwhile servants. They come rather short in number, you understand. Unlike you, I cannot just pick them off the street."

"Why not? Grab a soul, glue a devil to it, beat it until it bleeds for you."

Zelas gave her a long look with those mismatched eyes. "It is no surprise your sister hates and fears you so much that Gaav can pursue her without it ever crossing her mind to ask you for help."

"She made it out, didn't she? I trained her well."

"It was not by your skill that she lived, it was by the grace of our indomitable Mother."

Insulting the Lord of Nightmares right now wouldn't be a good idea, even if jokes about running to mommy were so, so easy. For Zelas, the Lord of Nightmares was sacred.

"Anyway, let's not talk about my little sister. I'll be doing plenty of that once she gets back. About Spot, I'm not sure whether I like you claiming him."

"Claim him? Those who fear their leader will turn on them or run when given a chance. Why would I resort to such a feeble method with it does not take much effort to win loyalty instead?"

Ye gods, there were so many ways that didn't line with Zelas's approach to responsibility to pawns — Claire had ranted on that for fours after Zelas refused to budge. Luna could easily turn that into a scathing reply, but she wanted to know her response to one other thing.

"Is that why you made Xelloss with a pack instinct, so you don't have to bother at all?"

Zelas folded her wings neatly and continued eating, not giving an answer.

Luna grinned. "Oh please. I'm neither blind nor tasteless. That there's something wrong with you."

Zelas bared her teeth. "There is nothing wrong with us. I have made my choices to survive. Once proved useful, pack members serve their role best if they are content with their place and have no desire to find greener meadows. Mere obedience to commands cannot do this, which is why to be part of the inner circle of my pack required a great deal of proof."

"Yeah okay but you're still not a proper devil."

That pissed Zelas off beyond belief.

If Luna really did cut away her own negative emotions before living them, was the mild unease and irritation she felt just a surface of a far deeper emotion?

Maybe she could figure this out if she tried it on another.

Zelas's outward emotional flow was easy to get a hold on, now she just had to swim upstream.

Devils has no neurology to tamper with, but on raw mind it actually was easier. The root of the emotion didn't so much look like anything as it felt like a nest. She could reach into it, if not take it apart and—

Before Luna got one change in, Zelas lashed out.

Being only at Xelloss's level, Luna's power held nothing against Zelas. The impact threw Luna at the tree behind her. Her shoulder collided first and shattered.

She caught herself on projected claws before she hit the ground. Her powers already kicked in to heal her, but defense went active when the devil loomed over her, teeth bared and bloodlust oozing off of her.

"Never do that again," Zelas growled.

"Okay, got it," Luna said, loath to realize she had absolutely felt fear now, all the way into shaking limbs. If her powers were on defense and she had to heal herself, well, that explained why she only felt it in extreme situations. She'd once considered herself brave. Now she wasn't so sure.

Zelas pulled back, peering down at her through narrowed eyes. Her physical projection trembled a little, an understatement to her rage. How she managed not to act on what she felt did another thing to Luna she didn't like : she admired her.

Selfdammit.

· · · · · · ·

Luna didn't rediscover sleep, but she managed trance. Too bad it was broken by a soft voice that was entirely too near, "Luna Inverse, wake."

The room was too dark to see physically, but on the astral plane, Shabranigdu loomed over her. Luna was out of her bed and at the door within one breath.

This put her sideway the chair in the corner and now she saw the man's silhouette. Shabranigdu hadn't moved at all, but the man did by holding up his hands peaceably.

"I mean you no harm, please sit down," he said.

Luna projected two tendrils and set them alight. The fire's glow fell on red robes and long black hair in a priestly cut, framing the narrow face of a northerner.

He didn't attack. If he did, he would be more powerful and have an advantage due to a protective Zenaffa cluster. Hmm.

As it stood, she wasn't on the side of Zelas, Lei didn't attack her, she'd lose a fight if she tried — how tiresome to be outclassed so often — and so there was no reason to complicate anything. Might as well be social.

"I'm gonna guess you're the icicle king," Luna said, dropping her hand from the hatch.

"I prefer Lei Magnus. Shabranigdu is a devil and a king, I am but a man. Granted, a powerful man and as you are, a chimera now."

"And a controller of Zenaffa too," Luna said. "Where'd you get those?"

"The dragons gave them to me. The pieces of Shabranigdu are interlinked, lest I want Valgaav to track me down, I need to hide my traces." When she didn't immediately respond, he added, "You're not surprised. Zelas told you about him?"

"I saw him myself," she said idly.

He must have tasted something in her emotions, because he felt curiosity. "What did you do?"

"Not much."

"You're guilty of something. I imagine it takes a lot to do that to a woman like you, who doesn't fear."

"It's the middle of the night, you broke into my room and you messed up my attempts to sleep. I bet you can also taste how I feel about that. You have ten seconds to tell me what you're here for, or I get Zelas's attention," she grumbled.

"I hope to gain an ally in you."

"Really? You came here for that? How did you know where I was?Also ..." She couldn't hurt him directly, but she could use projected dragon claws to pick him up. With one swoop, she tossed him out of the door. "The whole mysterious guy in the room routine is corny."

She slammed the door, threw on her day clothes and stepped outside.

Lei was about to speak, but she hushed him. "Follow me, we talk elsewhere."

He didn't get why, but obliged her. "Say, you are remarkably blase about my arrival, if one discounts the throwing."

"Thanks. Blase takes effort, especially when there's creepy guys in your room. Watch me in the kitchen."

"Why on earth would you invite me to the kitchen?"

"I did not work in a restaurant for a decade without recognizing the specific emotions that come with hunger," she said. "Nourished people make more sense and you haven't eaten in a thousand years."

Hesitant, he followed her all the way. To his credit, he remained silent.

There weren't much devils around here. Aside of all their real food being outside, the lot avoided Luna like the plague.

Zelas's kitchen contained the kind of extravagant food supply you'd expect from creatures unrestrained by organic bodies when craving food. Food from all across the world could be found here, be it fresh or as a complete dish kept in magical preservation. Cabinets, fridges, floating tables, flooded cellars, the whole deal. Up till recently, this chamber was a secret to the pure devils.

"Take your pick, but don't touch anything. I got a pass and won't set off the alarm, you would."

For a moment, Lei Magnus was the kid in the candy shop and permission to choose. Oh, he tried to play the stately sage, but that didn't hide his emotions. Luna filtered out his worries and pulled in the almost sweet joy. Either Shabranigdu could use Lei as a puppet like Valgaav used Val, or she really did look at a man who wanted life.

He had her get fifteen separate dishes, and being a human sage, he scarfed all of them down. Luna got a few for herself and tried not to mind his table manners.

"I'd forgotten how good it was," he said once he slowed down a little. "I hope I can dream again."

"Good luck with that — I haven't gotten sleep right since I became a chimera. Anyway, explaining time. Shoot."

He looked confused. "I'm not here to har—"

"Modern day slang. It means I'm inviting you to tell your deals."

"Ah, that I can do."

His short tale felt like it should be longer. Due to a combination of Ragradia's power being jostled and Shabranigdu's power being summoned while the human soul was firmly embedded Ragradia's wayward ice, there was a rift that tackled dominance to the human soul. Once falling into place, they had blended like. Lei had been carved out by the devils, been found out as not being the lord of darkness all the way, and the devils had vacated to let the dragons and their Zenaffa armor deal with him. When Valgaav approached, he had persuaded the armors to flee.

"And you came here because ..."

"I suspect that Zelas and Xelloss have evolved into something that does not line up with Shabranigdu anymore. However, even if they are, I arrive to a death scene and the Knight of Siephied with a chain around her neck. I believe there also is a barrier around this island that prevent you from leaving?"

"Yep to all of it. I'm dying to know why, though."

"You're not dying."

Luna sighed. "Metaphor for being exhausted."

"Anyway, I'm not yet certain what to expect of Zelas. She is no outright ally of the dragons, or am I wrong?"

"No, I am sure she is not. Neither she nor her priest had any regard for them, save one odd case. Anyway, I might have come here for Zelas, but I believe you would be a better ally in what I hope to do.

Did you know I created the demonblood talismans? With the pieces of deities, one can transcend so far into the astral layers that we can reach for the force that upholds the world. And now I hear the goddess Volphied rebelled against her own nature in joining with Dark Star in a rampage of destruction, ultimately intending to subvert the Lord of Nightmares herself. Free will is possible!" he said. "And we can reshape the world. The possibility is there for those strong enough. That's how the Lord of Nightmares set it up."

"High ambitions, no?" she said as she poured herself some wine. Just for the imago of the lady in control, swirling it around idly.

"I only want to get rid of my enemies, who happen to be very powerful."

"I just wanna have my life and my death."

"You want your death?" He stared at her intently. "There's something very strange about you. I get hints of negative emotions, but I cannot hold them long enough to consume. What are you doing? I've never met someone where emotions worked like this."

"I've been told I've got Holy Rezast effect on chronic drive," she said.

"Why would you choose that? It's not like the reasons and trigger for your emotions are gone, you just won't experience it fully. What if one day you're beaten up so much you can't use that magic anymore?"

She didn't respond.

"You might just find yourself mad with grief, or distracted by confusion or at the very least unable to handle having such intense emotions," he said. "I don't think you understand what it's like. When an emotion wells up like the rising sea and chases your rational mind until you drown it doesn't matter anymore what you think is right or wrong."

"Aha. If it's so hard to handle, should I assume you're not Lei Magnus anymore?"

He gave a helpless little shrug. "I don't have anyone to tell me but Shabranigdu. You know, even now I infected him or us or ... that human soul infused me with the desire to live, I can't tell. I remember a life as Shabranigdu, during which I wanted things opposite of what I am now, and I remember a life as Lei Magnus, full of feelings and wishes that have died on me. What about your identity?"

"I am intensely fascinated," Luna said while inspecting her nails. "Truly, deeply fascinated."

"That's the kind of reply you've got when someone tells you something personal?"

"It sounds like you're pulling a poor conflict me spiel in hopes of making us bond. You're either desperate or pathetic."

Another long pause from him, during which he folded his hands and appeared to think.

"Yes, I'm short an allies and I'm even shorter on people who are like me," he said after a while.

"Tough luck."

"If it's not for sympathy, you could at least try to use reason," he sneered. "You need help that Zelas will not and cannot give. Who will you go to? The gods?"

Luna downed her wine. "Pray tell, what help do I need for myself?"

"You could be a completely different person underneath that," Lei said. "I wonder whether your true self would like who you are now. Maybe she influences you to some extent, just like Shabranigdu always spurred or hindered my decisions. I wonder, is the human Luna Inverse the hidden monster of the Knight I see before me, or the human?"

"I feel fine, no point fretting."

"I have a decent idea on what part of your active magic does the trick," he said. "I could help you find out how. Did you ever die?"

Hesitant, Luna said. "Yes."

"Is that when you started seeing the astral plane?"

"Why do you think that caused it?"

"Seeing as you're unaware of what some of your magic is doing, that's the only way I can imagine you becoming aware. Once someone loses their mortal body, they are more often to understanding the worldly powers — it is why some ghosts can turn their own resentment into monstrous magic. Death is the first step to becoming an astral chimera, rebirth the second."

Luna stayed silent, muling this over. She had been able to see the astral plane her entire life, or rather, as far as she could remember her life. Filia could project a range onto the astral plane with sufficient power, but the gods had adapted her magical construction as a channel. Ghosts she didn't know much about. She needed to know more.

"When does human memory really start, oh great and wise sage?"

"At about three years. Even later your memories are not reliable; they are rewritten every time you recall them. Not to mention how vital emotional experience is in recalling them."

"If I died when I was really little, I wouldn't remember then. So what? I'm alive now."

"But as what? I live too, but I am stitched up with devil magic. No human could survive a thousand years without air or food. I think you're the same as me."

"Really now?"

"There is a simple way to check. Did you know that there is a correspondence between the humanoid projection of an astral creature, and their body? While not vital in the same way, there is a link through which they simulate their life. It's usually in the chest," Lei said. He laid a hand on his own, bring about a glow. While his physical hand stayed the same, his astral hand expended inside.

It could be a trap, but Luna was sure she could deal if something went wrong. She mimicked what he did and found a nexus of energy there, not unlike Megiddo.

The ribcage around her melted shut, changed to include shriveled organs stuck to the sides. Where her heart beat was only a pulsing white light, flaming veins shooting out from it. Some connecting to a network in her lower abdomen, and a single dried out pipe fell down from her mouth. There were no lungs left, but magic filtered the air and droplets of blood formed below.

She pulled her hand loose, and her astral body returned to normal.

"Are you alive?" Lei asked.

No, apparently not. Lei was right, she had died, she was like him, she was ... just a patched up doll. A corpse wrapped in clothed, so nobody could see the death inside.

She sunk her head to the table and crossed her arms before it.

Luna hadn't been shocked when she realized the thing around her was a corpse, but it had taken a struggle to get rid of the idea she was filthy.

If she had taken the first step so young ... Liliane had known. That was why she needed that contraption to destroy her, rather than merely killing her. Not that poison worked, Luna learned to recognize it. Someone always tried to kill her.

She could not feel disgust even if the intellectual side of it thrived. Dirt and mess in her home was intolerable, but it bothered her on a level different than outright feeling ... or was the root of the feeling there? The first emotion she filtered out of herself.

Anger drove her, with good reason she enjoyed its thrill, or was it just anger without something more negative? Now she had anger and nothing but herself to express it. Nothing to kill, nothing to curse.

Right as she realized this, she felt her own anger sizzle out until all she had left was an utter hollow.

Lei's eyes widened. "Good nature, what are you doing to yourself?"

"I don't know."

The human mind can run into circles perfectly well without emotions, and fire doesn't need the smoke to burn. A thousand what ifs bombarded her.

What if she hadn't cut away her emotions when Lina apologized for her scheme, would she have been less harsh? What if she had emotions at any other time she punished anyone whom displeased her? What if it mattered to her when she cut into people's astral body to make them comply? What if she really was a wimp? You couldn't be courageous without conquering fear. What would she become if at the end of her life, Siephied's power got removed as she wanted and she found herself with a lifetime of unresolved emotions and wishes.

Did she want that? Then and now?

Wants and desires did not begin as emotions, but they used emotions to complete. What did she really want? She might as be a stranger.

Luna hadn't changed since she was a five year old girl, fresh off of realizing the corpse and deciding she wasn't going to be the kind of person who was bothered by that.

Long before being a Knight of Siephied would have cut a millenium off of her existence, she'd done it herself. What kind of a person would she have been, had this not happened?

She'd done this to herself. Her own death already begun long ago, who was there to live long?

"Miss Luna?"

"Shhhhh. Having an identity crisis," she said.

He toasted her, and pulled over the next dish in silence.

Lei Magnus might have given her the time to mule, but Spot didn't.

The door swung open and there he stood, for whatever reason.

"What the hell are you doing?" he snarled. Spot had never dared to look at her that way, let alone raise his voice. Something was missing, the mindless adoration.

"None of your business, Spot," she said. "Be a good dog and lay down, and I'll forgive you for that tone."

He only took two steps to the side and ripped one of the fruit chains off the wall, triggering the alarm.

Lei swore under his breath and stood up without regard for his chair, which clattered to the ground. For the first time, Shabranigdu stirred.

When Zelas appeared in the room seconds later, Lei spoke with a double voice: "Zelas, kneel!"

Zelas projected and did exactly that, but it wasn't a respectful pose. She kept her head up, accenting her hatred with an expression too human for a wolf. Luna shut down her emotion channels, forcing herself to keep the poison out, but even that was not enough to drive off the scent.

If her subconscious didn't censor her emotions, would she be sympathetic to her now? She wanted to know.

"Lower your head and stay silent unless I ask you a question. You must answer truthfully, Zelas," Lei added.

At a slow, terror grew in Zelas.

Lei knelt before the devil, but not out of humility.

"What have I done to earn this much hatred?" he asked. "You may answer that, and only that."

"I hate you for taking my freedom," Zelas said.

"How unreasonable. You might attack me otherwise," he said with a scathing laugh. "Now, tell me what you intend to do. Valgaav's messenger thing, whatever that was, did not master the art of coherent speech. I'm certain you have a better idea what the machine at the center of the world does."

"I intend to find a way to get you out of my way," Zelas said. An answer to the question alone.

Skilled at being the pious sage, Lei showed none of his exasperation. "Tell me what your plot is."

"A secret," she said smugly.

"What does your plot want to achieve?"

"The best for me."

Luna didn't bother hiding her laughter. "This is going to take long, Lei."

He closed his eyes and thought, during which Zelas cast Luna a glance. She mouthed something, which apparently didn't count as speaking.

Mountains? Dragons?

Oh. There was one thing that did not add up : if he had really been the ally of the dragons, in Kataart, it'd be unlikely Filia would not have approached him. At the very least, he would have mentioned Xelloss hanging around her being a hint.

"Zelas, tell me what—"

"Why don't you hand her over to the dragons?" Luna asked.

"Hmm?"

"Your dragon allies. I think I know a way to get her to them, or them here. I bet they can help with the questioning."

"Well, actually ... I have no dragon allies," he said, sound and feeling regretful. "They were too stubborn to listen to me, not that I can blame them. I had no evidence Shabranigdu was not speaking, since unlike you they cannot see my astral side."

Except that elves had since created a spell to see the astral plane. He left something out.

"I could testify for you," Luna said.

He was mildly interested, but not hopeful at all. This didn't taste right for a man desperate for allies. Rather, he felt like forced to do a chore.

"Y'know, Lei, why don't you allow Zelas to speak and she can tell me what really happened there."

"She has you wrapped up," Lei said.

"And beat you to the punch, you're afraid?" Luna drawled. Somewhere behind her, a familiar soul approached. Luna always had a bit of trouble seeing behind her, what with the solid fleshy rib cage there, but she managed to turn her skull a little without drawing attention.

Claire walked up right behind her, using Luna's dragon body as wall against Lei's astral sight. She raised her finger to her lips the moment Luna looked.

"Zelas, when you call me Lady Corpse, what do you really mean?" Luna said to buy time, but also, it was a dare to Lei Magnus. Would he let the devil speak?

"This isn't the time anymore to worry about who you are. It seems I cannot control Zelas properly, so I would rather we leave. Can you teleport?"

"Nah, not gonna join you," Luna said.

"I've got maybe one ally and she's nowhere near. That just leaves me with better the devil I know."

"So that's your choice?"

"No, clearly that's my favorite afternoon snack."

"Well, then." He gathered together energy, but Luna expected an energy ray. When he lunged at her, she wasn't prepared.

With the inhuman speed of a chimera, he grabbed for her chain. She deflected his hand, but could not predict the white metal he wore. A tendril curled around her arm and latched onto the silver, disabling the devil magic at its touch.

The metal tore loose and clattered to the ground.

Lei held the simulacrum of a talisman, which dusted away in his hands.

Luna kicked him in the face and rolled back, rising a few meters away. At once, she unfolded her wings and tendrils.

Claire in her child form slipped past her, borrowing her holy power. Through flow, she implored to the Zenaffa armors and they recognized their origin.

Shocked, Lei locked eyes with the tiny god. "Ragradia? How are you here?"

"Leave, or we will teleport you straight to Valgaav," Claire said.

"What? And give him more power?" Lei asked with a disbelieving shake of his head.

"He is already too strong anyway. Oh, just imagine if he absorbed you and had to deal with an actual alternate ego. Give me some more power, Luna. Let's do it."

Lei's expression hardened into contempt, but his emotions were of frustration and fear. Just barely, he got one of the armors to strike out wings and shot away. He left a hole in the wall, sadly not shaped like him, but a little like the armor's erratic wings.

Claire didn't bother to pursue. "I can tell where he is as long as he wears those. Let them stay with him, I do not mind if he survives as long as he doesn't get in my way."

Zelas, now free of his presence, could stand again — Luna imagined a lesser mind would be bound to kneel forever.

"Mister Dilgear, I thank you for warning me, but next time I would appreciate if you told me who arrived. Lei and Valgaav both have the power to force me into servitude, I would prefer to avoid that."

Luna had lost track of Dilgear when Zelas arrived, now he emerged from the fridges, covered in frost.

After shaking off, he bowed. "I apologize, lord Zelas. I will remember him."

Why was he bowing to—ugh, never mind.

"Shouldn't have freaked out, Spot. You're an idiot for thinking I'd give into him," Luna said.

"My name is Dilgear and I am not your dog," he growled. All the familiar fear he felt, but he didn't cower. When Luna made the slightest move to lash out, Zelas moved too.

Luna halted before hitting Zelas.

"You are dismissed, mister Dilgear. I do not believe a situation where Valgaav visits us shall occur, but I am certain miss Claire can produce a few sketches just to be certain," Zelas said.

Dilgear dipped his head and rushed off.

Zelas turned to travel form as she faced Luna and Claire. "Where is the angelsblood talisman?"

Oh. Shit. Had Lei been after that?

"Valgaav took it," Claire said. "I faked the flow of a fragment to avoid you deciding it was worth the risk to turn Luna into one of your trees."

Luna felt nothing, absolutely nothing. She knew her own thoughts on that, which slipped by in a calm rhythm. Maybe Lina had demanded Zelas would not try that. Maybe Zelas had a semblance of respect for life. Maybe she played like Xelloss. Maybe she would try not. She wouldn't have these thoughts if drowning in emotions right now, but they were all the worse for their clarity and her inability to answer them.

Zelas seethed. The walls crumbled under her power and flames leaked down from the ceiling, but instead of attacking, she spread her wings and lifted off. Her projecting discarded, she passed into the night sky.

That was it. Zelas had so much rage and could just choose not to act on it. She lived through them, they didn't define her. How odd ... Luna had always considered will and emotions the same thing.

Claire puffed her cheeks to breathe out. "That went better than I expected. She is quite a deal calmer than a thousand years ago."

A piece of the ceiling crashed down to their left.

"This is calm. Okay," Luna mumbled. Now she felt something, if only a little wonder.

"We should move to another palace," Claire said. "Mind the smoke."

Outside, Spot stood with a group of devils, explaining them what had happened. He cast her a hateful look, but said no word. The group dispersed when they saw her, Spot going with them.

She came out of this night knowing one thing only : when she hadn't looked, Spot had stopped being hers.

Then again, he had always been Dilgear. You can't own what doesn't exist.

· · · · · · ·

Luna wasn't recycled into a tree that day or the next. She didn't see Dilgear again and didn't try to find him.

Turned out, she couldn't generate positive emotions, only remove the negative. Missing someone in particular wasn't just a feeling, but there was no ache. Just absence.

At some point, Zelas discovered the beacon Claire had been building in one of the groves. Luna only heard about it afterward, when the devil in charge of bringing her food muttered something about her being corrupting. She'd grabbed him and asked for details.

Zelas allowed her to continue, now it was too late to intercept Xelloss. Luna had coerced Xelloss in part to annoy Zelas, but perhaps Claire had a point about Zelas being unstable. She would have gone after him, despite her fear for Shabranigdu.

So Luna did what was left to her. Wait, think, and once she found a new set of bottles in the new mansion she was assigned, drink.

· · · · · · ·

Four days after having sent off Xelloss, Claire sent an astral prod to her. While she wasn't close enough to Claire to really get details, the gist was that she had to support. She ran across the canopy to the designated spot at leisure, but instead of a glow in the distance, she saw a crowd.

Luna had assumed that Claire might use some of her holiness to smooth out the transition of teleporting into unstable area, but no. Orun's astral body stood out sharp due to its silvery flare, Luna bet they'd gone by Sailoon after all.

That much was confirmed when she reached the edge of the field. Instead of a range of injured prisoners, the escort was only Sailoon soldiers, royal couple included. She couldn't see the entire group, because Zelas blocked the view and the noise: she stood in full form projected, thundering at Xelloss for acting on his own accord. She wasn't sure whether Xelloss would blame her, so she made a big bow around Zelas and approached from the other side.

Orun's light encapsulated someone, but what she could see at the edges repulsed her — only for a second, then that feeling was too. Left was a sense of aversion and dirtiness at the sight of the writhing mass of flesh and snakes. Despite the curse, the owner's astral body was marvelous, if disjointed and without internal flow ... oh hell, that was Lyos.

Orun fussed at his side, burning away snakes emerging from his flesh, while Claire hijacked some of Orun's power for subtle stabilizing of his now massive astral body. He held all the power of a god, Luna doubted he'd be healthy even if cursed of that curse.

"Oh, miss Luna!" Amelia darted over.

"The prison break was a grand success, but ... miss Filia's not doing well. Might you get her away from ..." she waved at the mess around them. "All this? Especially Xelloss."

Amelia pointed her in the right direction, and muttered something about Xelloss not getting the pawn issue.

Luna could imagine convincing him to go by Sailoon first would be a hassle in itself. Making him leave behind assets? Not a chance.

Gravos helped Filia walk away from the mess, towards the edge of the forest. Jillas trailed after them.

Luna caught up before they came near enough. "Hey, Filia."

Gravos stopped, and Filia looked over her shoulder. She managed a dim smile. "You're alright."

Gone was the vibrant dragon, replaced by dried out clay that might shatter from being put down too hard. Her hands already had suffered that in the literal sense.

"I'm alright," Luna said. "Don't go in the forest, it's not nice. There's rooms in the mansions, come along."

She led them across the canopy, with a road of her own making. At intervals she projected parts wings or tendrils or claws, and dissolved them after they were thread.

Filia stayed quiet the entire time, but once Luna asked Jillas about how the mission had gone, she got an an impassioned spiel. Luna let it wash over her, along with her own unspoken questions.

What if Luna had listened to Claire and played along with Valgaav?

What if she felt horribly guilty about that without even noticing?

What would it be like to feel as much as Filia did, what with all her compassion and her love, to be betrayed by the one she loved the most?

What if she felt sorry for her Filia? What if she'd dragged her along cause she herself needed someone?

Luna brought her to her quarters, not bothering to see whether any other area even had any beds. Nobody on this island really slept.

Her old room had two beds, one for Dilgear, but her new room only one. She pulled together some divans to make up for the lack. Jillas and Gravos took a side room, but wouldn't go to sleep yet until they were sure Filia was really alright.

Luna watched from a distance, reminded of her own loyal beastman. Old rumor had it that the beastfolk were all chimeras created by an ancient sorcerer intent on creating the perfect slave race — she could believe it, given the loyalty they all carried. Regardless of whether it was earned, though there were limits.

After a while, she got the idea to send them off to fetch some food and ask one of Zelas's servants whether Zelas had new plans. Not that she thought Zelas would relay any plans through servants; Luna just wanted a word with Filia.

Filia sat on the edge of the bed, head down as she looked at her hands. Her fingers were stiff, she could clench her fists but not spread her fingers far anymore. The thumb of her right hand was in a permanent hook.

Hunching down before her, and still without feeling beyond anger, Luna asked, "Who did this?"

Amelia had as good as told her. Xelloss had his personal rules of conduct, but once in a situation those were moot ...

Luna's rules were not to harm those who did not bother her, but once they did ...

"Valgaav used the demon king's voice to turn the wolf pack against the dragons. I was there," Filia said, with false monotony. She pulled her hands to herself.

... in those circumstances, it didn't seem wrong to have some fun.

Filia sniffed, then the tears came.

"I'm sorry, miss Luna," Filia whispered. "Why would Val even be in that alley? I should have listened to you."

"Damn right you should have," Luna said. Almost she launched that this could have been avoided, but that brought her face to face with another what if.

What if she hadn't been the kind of person who tortured at a whim? She would have been more credible then. Filia might have listened.

What if she had listened to Claire, rather than play with Valgaav once they found him out?

She paced to the window, where she fidgeted with the curtain. In the distance, Orun's flare pinched out; they had probably teleported to the shore for Lyos's sake.

"Did Valgaav do anything else to you?"

"Nothing. It's just my hands, mister Lyos is off far worse."

"Just because he didn't touch you doesn't mean he didn't hurt you. Could be words, could be astral attacks, could be sadistic choices," she said. Put some food before the starving werewolf, make him choose between that and his name. Life or identity. "Could be asking you sacrifice your self."

Did you ever pause to think about your self?

Not in the way of being selfish, but rather seeing what one looked like from the outside, because from within the cage the world looked very different.

She sat down aside of Filia and projected a wing, exchanging the harsh scales for feathers.

"What are you doing?" Filia asked without looking up.

"Gonna try to chaff away some of what you feel. Don't need a circle or spell for that." It occurred to her to ask. "Ehm ... are you okay with that? Like, you better be. You already know what you're feeling so it's not like you need to let it brew."

"Did something happen, miss Luna?" Filia asked, now looking up for the first time. How easy it was for Filia to worry about others, and live with it.

"Yeah, but that was long ago, not a big deal," she said. "Wanna dream together? I think I'd like killing some nightmares. Gonna need a sleep spell from you, though."

"We need to change our life law circle," Filia muttered. "Do you remember the crosses in the soul wall? We can do it without cracking anything." Reciting facts.

"Okay, show me."

Without a spell, Filia conjured up a circle below them. Luna's power resonated at once and Filia let go a deep breath.

"What changed your mind about sleep, miss Luna?"

"Just realizing that I wasn't changing, so I figured it's time I talked to myself."

· · · · · · ·