This chapter is shorter than I thought it was - as is the next one - which is good for you guys I guess? Enjoy!
Monday
"D-da-dyyyy" John screeched from the doorway, letting the tears fall in heaps down his red cheeks as he held out his arms.
Ricky sighed, turning on his heel and bending down on one knee to his level, "I told you buddy, I have to go to my classes and then to work. I'll be back later to pick you up, okay?" Wiping the moisture from his son's face with his hand
He grasped onto his arm, shaking his head forcefully, "Nooo!" Bouncing on his feet in hiccupping cries when he stood back up, "Dad-deeee!"
One of the nursery ladies - Taylor - came quickly at the sounds of his cries. "Daddy will be back - let's go play -" she coaxed, putting her hand out to him. John shook it away, drawing further back. She frowned at his unusual behavior, "Poor thing, he seems extra sensitive today."
Ricky nodded slowly, "He's had a pretty rough weekend - Amy went out of town for a few days and he's not taking it well" Feeling the emotions start to stir inside of him, he put a hand in his pocket, "call me if you need me?" She nodded, putting her hands on John's shuttering shoulders. He ran his hand through his hair tenderly, bending to kiss his forehead, "Bye, buddy. I'll see you soon"
Pulling on her boots, she cringed as the suitcase slid off the edge of the bed, landing hard on the floor with a loud thud. "Sorry -" she apologized, quickly going to pick it up
The mop of bright red hair rose from the pillow, a disgusted look on her face, "Ugh. What are you even doing up at -" squinting at the alarm clock perched on a shelf, "10:30?"
Amy chuckled at her appearance - the way her bed head stood straight up in the back reminding her of how John's often did. The thought of him made her smile dim, sadly, as she shrugged, "Thought I would walk around - check out the campus before the meeting in the quad this afternoon. You should come!"
Emery groaned at the bright sunlight peeking from behind the burgundy curtains, "I learned last year that that was the biggest waste of breath because the professors don't give two shits- just as long as you show up 75 percent of the time and half-ass their classes - they're satisfied"
"Well I did come here for the school - so it would be helpful to learn about the education curriculum."
"Okay nerd." She scoffed, shoving a pillow over her face to avoid the light interfering with the pounding in her head. Amy rolled her eyes and closed the door harder than she intended too, hearing the pillow slam against it from the other side.
Getting outside, she took a seat on a bench by a nearby tree, and pulled out her phone. Ricky answered on the second ring; his tone dull, like it was when he was tired, "Hey"
"Hey - I um, I got your text. Sorry I didn't get back to you - it was a busy day." She squeaked out, rushing her sentences together for some reason
"It's okay, I figured you were busy and probably a little jet lagged..." She heard his sigh through the receiver, and knew he was probably clenching his jaw, "How are you?"
"Good. Tired, but good." She smiled, forgetting that he couldn't see her, before it disappeared as she saw a small child across the street at a nearby park. "Are the kids there? I wanna talk to them - it sucked not being able to tell them goodnight last night." She was fighting the emotion in her voice, "I really miss them..."
"And they miss you - but you just missed them. They're at the nursery -"
"Already? Little early isn't it?" Her brow furrowed, adjusting the phone against her ear
"Not really, it's almost 8... I have to get to class early to meet with my professor - I told you the other day, remember?" They both paused, the awkward silence between them amplified by the outside noises around them. He finally spoke, she could hear the sound of a car door ding, "I gotta go, but I'm picking the kids up at 5 if you want to call them to tell them goodnight."
She nodded slowly, biting her top lip with her bottom teeth, "Alright... well have a good day at school I guess..."
"Thanks. We'll talk later, okay?"
Amy nodded again before hanging up and tapping the phone on her knee, wiping a tear away from her cheek.
Gathering his bag from the backseat, Ricky strode up the walkway, pulling on the door handle roughly in aggravation of the mornings events thus far. His footing was quick, having no time to piddle around before his last round of classes that morning, but slowed almost to a halt upon seeing his friend slumped over on the table they always sat on. His breath hitched, sprinting over in fear that Jack was hurt, but released it once he saw that he was okay.
"What do you mean she just left?" He questioned, drawing his hand back quickly from the piping hot cup on the table
Jack sniffled, tracing an imaginary pattern into the table with his finger, "After graduation we went to some party - it was great... but when we got back -" He took a breath, "she said something about not being on the same path, and how the timing was wrong." Taking a sip from his mug, "When she handed the ring back, she had this... giddiness... like she had just won some kind of prize." The tears rolled down his cheek silently, "I thought we would be together forever... Grace would be this high profile doctor and I would be in the NFL - we'd get married and have a bunch of kids. Sunday breakfast before big games. Little stuff - you know?"
Ricky nodded slowly, fighting back his own tears, "I do... Ever since Amy told me about her mom offering us the Jeurgens old house... I keep seeing these flashes of what our future could've been - or still could be, I guess."
"What do we do?"
"The only thing we can do - sit and wait."
"Yeah but you and Amy are married and have kids together- she can't just up and leave forever, can she?"
"I want her to be happy - I do - but... if this school is going to pull her further away from our family... maybe I should reconsider going out there -"
"But that's just going to give her what she wants, isn't it?"
"Maybe." He paused, trying to keep his lip from wobbling as a few tears slid down his face, and he stared at his friend, "But what else can I do? I love her." He sniffled, swallowing hard, "She's coming back, Jack."
"But if she doesn't-" Jack started, tapping his fingers
"She is!" Ricky snapped back through clenched teeth
He put a hand out in surrender, "Okay... but if she doesn't - what are you going to do?"
"If she doesn't..." He sighed, closing his eyes and spinning the golden band on his finger, sneaking a glance over to the other side of the coffee shop at his ex-friend, "I guess I'll just have to figure out how to function in a life without Amy Jerugens..."
"Have a good summer - but not too good, we still have rules here!" She hollered out to the crowd of eager students waiting to get out the door, smiling before turning back to the board on her right.
"Can I talk to you?" Ricky asked quietly, adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. Professor Rodriguez nodded, putting the marker back on it's stand. "I really appreciate your offer of the opportunity to attend your summer program but I -" his phone let out a ring: the drum beats getting louder with each second he didn't pick up. His brow creased in worry, "It's the nursery... I'm sorry they generally don't call me unless there's an issue. Can I -" She nodded again.
"Hello?" He answered quickly, his brow creasing deeper at the sound of his son's crying on the other end, "John? What's wrong, buddy?"
"I - I -" John stuttered through tears
"Hey, hey, slow down - take a deep breath. What's wrong?"
He could hear him take a large gulp of air before he started in again, "I wan - I want you come, daddyyy" the crack in his squeaky voice was showing, "I- I - I wana go h-homme!"
"I'm at school right now, but I'll be there to get you and your sister later. It'll be okay" Ricky reassured, trying his best not to allow the crack to come out in his own voice, the sound of his son's pleading cries shooting a pain through his chest, "Where is Emma? Go play with her until I get there - cause she's probably upset too. Okay?" The end of the line went silent, fearing he had gotten too upset and hung up, whispering, "John?"
John's breathing slowed on the other end of the receiver, "...O.K..." before it became static and another voice came on the line.
"I'm so sorry, John just hasn't stopped crying and asking for you since you left this morning." Taylor apologized in a rush
"It's okay - thanks for calling." Hanging up, he bit his lip, turning his attention back to the Professor, "Sorry about that, my son is a little clingy today. It's been a very hectic weekend." Sighing, "...which is why I'm going to have to decline the summer course - Things are just so all over the place right now, and I don't think I can make that kind of commitment - especially with my kids and everything else. I'm sorry"
She shook her head in understanding, "Don't apologize, I completely understand. I was a young parent myself and know first hand that it is a lot more than most people realize. You and your wife certainly have your hands full"
He couldn't help but chuckle, sadly, as he nodded, "Yeah... yeah we definitely do."
"I'll see you in the fall then?" She asked, pulling her chair out to sit behind the desk. He nodded, causing her to smile, "Great! Well have a nice summer - enjoy the little moments while you still can"
"Thanks." He turned on his boot heel, walking silently out of the room and down the narrow corridor; his phone letting out another chime.
Opening it, he smiled wide at the image of them: John was sitting beside Emma with his arms draped around her small body, as she grabbed at his face with her hand. The caption reading "thought you'd like to see this - he hasn't left her side since he hung up the phone" Bringing tears to his eyes as he stood there, tracing the image with his finger before blowing air from his cheeks and sprinting back down the walkway, throwing open the solid wooden door.
"Wait -" Ricky stopped, bending with his hands to his knees, slightly winded, "I changed my mind - I need to get this done and it would probably be better for my family if I did it sooner rather than later."
Professor Rodriguez smiled wide, clasping her palms together, "Great to hear, I'll see you next week then."
"An - an - I jus bw-uilded a big hwouse an den he jus kno-cked it all d-own!" He squealed excitedly into the phone, throwing his hand up in the air to animate his story
"Oh wow, did you rebuild it?" She asked, trying to match his excitement
John nodded, adjusting himself to stand on the cushion, "Yeh! I jus bwu-ilded it bigger!" Before plopping back on to his bottom, earning a displeased look from his father busy feeding his sister in the kitchen. Amy chuckled at him, hearing the cushion pop.
He cocked his head, swinging his legs, "Mommy... wh-en you cum-in h-ome?"
She sighed at his question, "Soon, buddy. I'll be home soon." Quickly changing the subject, "Where is Emma?"
"She is with daddy an E-tan!"
"Are you having fun with daddy?"
He nodded quickly, licking his lips, "Uh huh... I mwiss you, mommy..."
"I miss you too, buddy..." It was silent for a second before she sighed again, hearing the door knob jiggle, "Okay, okay yeah I'll call you in the morning - give Emma a big hug for me, okay? Alright, goodnight baby."
"Oohh" Emery mocked, puckering her lips up in a bad attempt of a kissy face.
"Shut up!" Amy rolled her eyes, throwing a pillow at her
She chuckled, throwing her bag, and then herself on the bed, "Rude! At least someone was entertained - I just wasted 2 hours of my life in a lame-ass demo session."
"You got free booze, you should be thankful!" Adam countered, stepping through the open doorway, shooting his hair back with a nod of his head, his eyes falling on her, "Sorry for the interruption - someone can be a loudmouth sometimes."
Amy giggled, puckering her lips inward, unsure why she was suddenly flustered, "It's fine. Wait, demo session? Do you play?"
His lip tipped up, "Yeah, lead guitar. Me and my friends formed a band in high school - nothing fancy, just some dudes screaming into a microphone... We've got a show tomorrow night... you should come."
Caught off guard by his invitation, her mouth opened slightly, "Oh I -"
"Adam, you know that's not her scene. She'd rather stay in and read." Emery sneered, flipping open a magazine, and shooting up her middle finger, "Besides, your music sucks anyway"
"Well it never hurts to gain a new fan." Amy stated back, slightly annoyed at her rude roommate who just countered with the other middle finger, causing her to scoff at her before shaking her head and turning her attention back to him, "I'll think about it..."
Adam pursed his lips, the silver rings in them becoming more defined, "Cool"
A week later
"The syllabus is your friend - do not contact me with questions that the syllabus can answer" Professor Rodriguez shouted out, using a waving motion with her hands to dismiss the class, "See you all next week."
Following the string of half asleep people eager to get out of there, he hiked the bag further up his shoulder, not even paying attention as he rounded the corner and collided into another student.
"Sorry- " They both said in unison, before making eye contact and pausing awkwardly
"We really need to stop running into each other this way." Ricky stated, "Are you... okay? Can't believe I'm asking that." clicking his tongue, and lifting his eyes to the ceiling
Clementine nodded, dusting off her black jeans with her palms, "I'm fine. A disgruntled customer tossed their coffee at me."
"That sucks. People can be awful sometimes."
"That they can be..." She nodded again, shifting her gaze between the floor and him before she took a deep breath and started speaking, "I'm sorry about Amy. Has she -" his hard eyes told her she struck a nerve in asking about his personal life. Her eyes shifted to her shoes, fiddling with the strings of her coffee stained apron.
He clicked his tongue again, shaking his head, "How did you - never mind" and closing his eyes in frustration, "It doesn't matter, Amy will be back sometime next week, and then all of this will be behind me" He shook his head again and started to walk away
"Ricky I - " She grabbed his arm, the leather of his jacket being indented by her nails.
His eyes were like daggers now, the anger evident, as one brow rose and his eye became slightly squinted, "You know this is all on you, right? You never should have kissed me, or wrote down your feelings for the whole world to see - you're the reason she left!" The veins in his neck were starting to come out, "I wanted to be your friend - but I'm learning now that that goal will never be achievable if I want to keep Amy in my life. So I'm sorry about the angry customer - but go away and stay out of my life!" The last part of his sentence softening to a rough whisper, "Just... give me that at least."
"And how does that make you feel?" He inquired, tapping the pen against the sheet of paper
Ricky scoffed, "How do I feel? What do you mean how do I feel?" Clenching his jaw as he shook his head, "My wif - Amy - left me and our kids because of this woman... and you think I have some kind of weird feelings because I ran into her on campus? It's a campus, it was bound to happen. I don't have any feelings about it!"
Ken rose a brow, his lips becoming parted. "I don't!" His brow rose higher. Ricky sighed deep, closing his eyes and ringing out his hands, "Okay, maybe some anger. Or aggravation"
Ken nodded, adjusting his footing to lean forward in the chair, "You know that in order to better yourself, you have to be honest."
"I'm here aren't I?" Ricky shot back, falling back against the cushion in defeat a few silent seconds later. "It's been hard. Harder than I thought not having her here. Especially hard on John because he doesn't understand - he just knows mommy went away to school for awhile." He twiddled his thumbs, pushing his right one hard against the left joint, fighting back the emotion in his voice.
"Are you communicating more?"
He shook his head again, keeping his gaze on his hands, "Phone calls aren't doing much these days: one of us is always busy - she calls too late, or we call too early. There is no middle ground." He paused, leaning forward, "It just -" grabbing a pillow from the cushion beside him, tightening his grip, "it feels like Amy is pulling back: shortening the cord between us for this new life... without us. Without me" The lump in his throat pushed forward, allowing the pain to come through as the tears gathered in his eyes. He sniffled, annoyed for allowing himself to release his feelings in this way. "Satisfied?"
Ken nodded, pleased as he handed him a box of tissues, chuckling under his breath when he declined and gave him a disapproving look, "Now... we're making progress."
"Heyyyy!" She singsonged, throwing her purse on the rolling chair in the middle of the room
Removing her earbuds, Emery glanced up, noting the lilt of giddy in her face, "Good mood - have fun at your nerd meeting?"
Chuckling, "No... " Amy ran her hand through her hair, "I was actually at the club"
"Again? That's like the fourth time this week!" Tapping her finger to her chin, she gave her an inquisitive look, "Either I pegged you totally wrong or..." rising off the bed, "wait.. do you like him?" The look of disbelief as Amy scoffed silently, making Emery spring off the mattress and across the room, pointing her finger at her, "Oh my God you have for it Adam, don't you!"
Shaking her head quickly, "No! No way, I'm in a relationship!"
"Well I've known Adam since the 8th grade, and I'll be the first one to say his band isn't that great to be there everyday." Clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth, taking the stud in her tongue between her teeth, she smirked, "You sure nothing is going on between you two?"
Avoiding eye contact, Amy's cheeks flushed, an odd feeling coursing through her body at the thought of Adam's wide smile and electric eyes. She shook it away quickly, on the verge of tears as she twisted the small stone on her finger: the reminder that she had someone she loved back in California.
Rushing inside, he took a seat quickly, "I know I'm late -" moving the napkin of silverware away from the plate, as he grabbed the menu from the table, "What are you having?"
"I already ordered" She stated, leaning back against the wooden chair. He nodded silently and buried his face in the menu. "How are you? You haven't been by yet - "
He sighed, flipping to the back before closing it, "I know. I mean to, it's just -"
"Can I get you something?" A tall brunette asked him, tapping a bright pink pen against the small pad of paper in her hand
"Just water for now." Ricky handed her the menu, clasping his palms together under the table shyly. Writing it down, the girl nodded and turned on her heel.
"You're busy raising my grandchildren. I get it." Nora chuckled, taking a sip from the beverage in front of her.
"Yeah - that." He smiled sheepishly, resting his elbows on the table, "I'm so happy to see you - it's nice to have an adult to talk to."
"Make you wanna drink yet?"
"No - but it's been difficult... this summer course is harder than I thought it would be. Bunny hasn't found a replacement for Ben yet and we're getting slammed." Accepting the beverage from the brunette, Ricky thanked her and took a long sip. "John keeps having accidents - mostly at night..."
He paused, taking another sip and shifting his gaze to the ice floating freely inside the glass, sighing again, "And to top it all off - Emma has now started waking up screaming for no reason at all hours of the night." Pausing again, he lifted his head, eyes meeting his mother's as she nodded slowly and reached across the table to touch his arm.
He shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, "This isn't working. I'm exhausted all of the time - " his voice was starting to get shaky, tears threatening to spill from the brim of his eyes. He sniffled, swiping swiftly at his left eye before sinking back against the chair and pushing his thumbs together, "I'm sorry, you didn't come all the way out here to listen to my problems. How are you?"
Nora pursed her lips, her eyes becoming glassy, "Has she been more involved?"
"She's got this video chat thing she set up... but it's the same problem as the phone calls. She's trying, I'll give her that I guess"
A few seconds of silence passed between them before she squeezed his forearm and spoke again, "You know I could help you with John and Emma. I'm okay now. I'm doing really well. I could babysit in a pinch, even not in a pinch"
"Amy will be back in a few days"
"Yeah... okay"
The way she answered while shifting her gaze, made his brow rise curiously, "What's going on?"
She straightened in her seat, trying to hide the pain written on her face. The pain she felt for him as he sat before her with this child-like hope: hope she knew would crush him. "Nothing... I'm just looking at you thinking what a great kid you are"
"Uh I um - I'm not exactly a kid but I appreciate the sentiment" Ricky's eyes were becoming red and glassy again, a single tear stopping at his jaw
"You're not exactly a kid - you're a man." She nodded again, putting her palm to his hoodie, right next to his heart, "And you know plenty of single dads are raising kids alone these days without the help of anyone."
"Without the help of anyone? I doubt it... Nobody can raise a kid - let alone 2 - on their own without any help from anyone. And again, Amy will be back this weekend." His gaze hardened, "Unless... you know something I don't."
"No. Well yeah..." She paused, sniffling, "I know I was very happy when you two told me that you were married." Sniffling again, "And I was just as happy when you told me you were not... married... because um - I'm just gonna say this - I don't think you should marry Amy when she gets back -" He pulled back, disbelief and anger on his face.
She pulled back too, swallowing the lump in her throat as she cried, "Everyone seems so concerned that she's only 18 and she has her whole life ahead, and what would her life be like if she didn't have children with you..." Swiping her cheeks, "And well, you're 19, and you have your whole life ahead of you! So if you don't want to be married - then don't. Don't be married."
He sniffled, taking in a deep breath to prevent from shaking, "I wanna be married, mom. I want to marry the mother of my children!"
Nora shrugged innocently, wiping her eyes with her napkin, "Well okay I'm just saying"
"Just?" He shot back, "Do you know what you said here?
"I'm just trying to protect you!"
"From what, mom? From what?"
"I don't know... life... I guess! I don't want you to end up like me! And if you allow Amy to just dangle you, and your feelings, and your children's feelings like this... I worry you won't recover when she cuts the strings." Another bout of silence from him, "You're my son, and I know I haven't been there for you before... but I'll be damned if I'm going to let some woman ruin MY son, and my grandson, and my granddaughter, like a wrecking ball to fulfill her own selfish dreams!" Refusing to look at her as he sipped through the straw and the tears ran down his cheeks. "I just want to guard your heart, because it's already been broken..." She reached out again, not at all surprised when he drew back and stood up, keeping his eyes on the colorful carpet.
"I have to go. I'll um - I'll call you later?" She nodded, silently grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.
Rushing out the door, Ricky bit his lip hard and allowed himself to break; slamming his open palm against the brick structure and crying into the muggy air as her voicemail chimed in his ear, "It's me. It's Amy. Leave a message!"
