· · · · · · ·
Knocking on her own house had a painful familiarity to it. Would it be like this from now on, always reminding herself that Val wouldn't be behind the door anymore?
Palu opened the door on a crack and yelped in excitement. "Mama, papa and Filia are here!"
Something clattered in the kitchen, followed by the door swinging open to reveal Elena. "Miss Filia! Are you alright?"
A pang of guilt ran hit her. She leaned down and embraced Elena, who softly returned it. Jillas and Palu joined in one the hug, but Filia didn't have enough arms when Molly came running up. Gravos came in from somewhere in the backyard, but stayed a step back to avoid the hugs.
Heavens, it felt good to meet her family like this. No knives dangling over her head at last, and for a moment they'd believe all was well.
"I'm sorry to have been so out of touch," Filia said. "There were a lot of things to do at the time, but I just ... I didn't want to bring any of that here. How are you all doing?"
"Oh, we had to do some renovations, but we're alright," Elena said. "Going by what Jillas hinted at, you'll have so much more to tell us. Come in already!"
When Filia stepped inside, past the customary protection barriers she'd installed upon arrival, she sensed and saw it. Approximately on the couch, Luna Inverse lay. Probably. There was no human form to see, just the indistinct mass of her astral body.
"What are you doing here, miss Luna?" Filia rounded the corner with her hands on her hips. "I expected you'd go back to the island and talk to Lina."
"Tired. Figured I'd sleep it off here. " She flapped her hand as a hello.
"Does that mean you picked up sleeping again? I'm glad."
Luna held up a finger. "Didn't say it worked."
Elena breathed out in relief. "Are you on good feet again? I was a little worried when she barged in here."
"Look, I have to hide somewhere cause I attract enemy attention, okay? Your house has barriers."
"Not that you're not welcome here, but why didn't you go to your parents in Zephyria?" Filia said.
Palu chuckled. "Her parents actually came to Sailoon and she came hiding. Gravos actually complained about her busting the doors, she didn't even bother being angry about that! I bet they're scary parents."
Parents. That slammed Filia back into her own task.
"Right. Miss Elena, let's go ... " Filia almost suggested early cooking, but that wouldn't work with her badly healed hands. Not yet. Maybe she's learn to use them better later. "... make some tea. Is there still cake left?"
Elena made a dismissive motion and smiled. "Plenty. We have almost too much stock because I kept storing up."
They'd expected them to return sooner. How much time had even passed?
While Elena prepared tea and cut cake, Jillas told the kids about his new job at Elmegiddo and dodged questions about Val. Gravos started to be suspicious, and more somber, but didn't press.
Sailoon had been through renovations since the dragon invasion, they learned, and Zephyria had offered aid.
Elena noticed soon enough that Filia's hands were in poor shape and threw her a curious, worried look. Later, Filia mouthed.
It was an oddly quiet meal. In a way, Val had been the center of the family because he had drawn them together. Well, that had been Valgarv. If not for him, they'd be in three different places, probably worse off.
Yet every happy memory of the past seven years now had been tainted, knowing Valgarv had been here the entire time. Xelloss breaking in and making himself at home was disturbing enough as it was, and now she had to reconsider every private, unguarded moment. That he was dead now didn't make it any better.
Luna kept peering at her from under her bangs, especially when Filia dodged bringing up Val. It took seven of her looks and Molly outright asked three times before Filia could begin.
None of the words were right. She had avoided thinking about Val as much as possible during the entire operation, leaving her without preparation. She had to hide her eyes halfway through, but could no longer stop talking. Luna added her angle in a few times, calm and analytical and emotionless. That kept Filia from breaking down entirely.
"Val's not coming back?" Molly whispered at the end up the story. Elena just stared with wide, horrified eyes while Palu shifted in his seat.
"I don't get it," Palu muttered. "What's a program? Doesn't that just mean Val was real while Valgarv slept?"
"The one we knew as Val had no soul and will of his own, Palu," Filia said.
"Val never loved us?" Molly had the start of tears in her eyes. "He lied to me?"
"Valgarv did," Luna said. "Let's put it like this : Val was real enough that getting a soul got us a functional person who did love his mom."
Molly cried, of course and so Jillas broke down in tears again. In time, she'd accept it as her adoptive father had. Filia herself would see a day she didn't mourn anymore.
Knowing that had a cold tang to it — her life had revolved around her temple's dogma for so long, which had carried over even to her new life. She was atoning for the past, after all, by the same old laws of inheritance of sin. What was she going to do with herself once this was over?
Obvious answers existed. Go back and lead her business empire, tend to the rest of her family. They were not less important than that one child who she thought would be her redemption. So there was a hole now. She could live with that.
· · · · · · ·
Filia spent the rest of the day in contact with her company, operating through crystal balls and sometimes teleporting places. The war had affected several of her establishments, and ended up digging into the back up funds for repairs and for consolation services.
Palu hung around Filia's office, always asking whether he could do anything to help, while Elena busied herself with housework. They took it hard, but were the kind to keep themselves busy in the aftermath and not cry as much. Molly drew pictures in memoriam, which Jillas kept praising for accuracy. Gravos took it on himself to cook a huge meal.
Luna neither bothered nor comforted her. She was simply there. Once she went shopping and complained about how annoying it was when not using her power to intimidate people into obliging her.
At the end of the day Elena and Filia brought the kids to bed. Once the adult beast folk had retired too, Filia invited Luna for tea in the parlor. Well, tea and wine. Luna preferred classier food and drink, even as she dumped herself on the couch.
"You're still avoiding miss Lina," Filia said as she handed Luna her glasses.
"So what if I am?" Luna sat up to take them, stared and poured them both out. Before Filia could object, something invisible caught the liquid. Irritation turned to fascination as crystal manifested around the liquid.
"That's amazing! How did you do that?" she asked.
"I'm hopping onto the creativity bandwagon," Luna said. "It's just a projection."
"It's beautiful ... anyway, your sister. You really should talk to her about Siephied's power and your afterlife."
Luna took a few gulps and sank back on the couch, the projected crystal hovered near her.
"Miss Luna!"
"Chill. Don't you owe me some talking too? C'mon, the kids are gone. Tell me the juicy details of how you fooled us."
Filia gritted her teeth. "There. Are. No. Juicy. Details."
If it was up to Filia, she wouldn't talk about that part at all. After all that had happened, talking about foolish games was unbecoming.
"Come on, it'll be more fun than your storm crow spiel, right? Or is there something sinister going on after all?"
"No. With one exception, every time he scared me was part of the scheme."
"Okay, spill the scheme. You're embarrassed, that's gotta be better than mourning."
Luna's power pulled at her. Did it lessen the embarrassment, or was she compelled to obey? How much of this was wanting to feel better? Was it alright to feel better when grief was so young?
"You dragons have a mandatory no happiness thing after death?" Luna seemed almost genuinely curious.
"No." Filia pulled up her legs, nestling into the armchair. "Well, for starters, Xelloss's name starts with an x ..."
Fifteen less gloomy minutes later, Luna had pushed aside her bangs just to let Filia see her incredulous stare.
"Ducks. Ice cream. Sensory education. Right. ... So you're still a virgin?," Luna said. "Too bad?"
"Too bad? Why ever is that bad?"
"I was hoping you had tips for sez."
Filia whacked her on the head with a pillow before returning to poised tea drinking. "How positively vile, miss Luna," she said even as she had to stifle laughter.
"To my credit, I got close to calling you guys on it," Luna said. "Then I told myself you're might've bonded up being manipulative pricks. I wasn't too far off actually, except for the sex thing. Oh well. At least I didn't rewrite you."
"What do you mean?"
"I dunno. Maybe I did something while we dreamwalked."
"I don't think you could. At most, holiness compels dragons. Dreamwalking might make that stronger, but it doesn't really change us. Miss Luna, why did you think that?"
"Never mind, nothing important to say."
Filia put down her tea. "You clearly do have something to say. I've had too much problems from people being uncommunicative. Spit it out."
"Okay, fine. Here I got the mood up, yet you demand the angst. So you're getting it. I don't hate being Siephied's Knight, you know that. It's pretty chill, minus the obligatory cessation of existence. Till then at least. Anyway, I do know what I've been to others with that power at hand. I've spent most of my childhood toying with the life of my little sister, for experiments, punishment and sometimes just the power of it. I've brainwashed myself into not giving a shit and even now, I don't feel a damn thing. Maybe I'm afraid of that, but so what? At this point, I can't go to my sister and act like nothing happened. Now she's got a chance to cessate me much sooner and I don't even care. That's what's up."
Luna didn't appear to be talking to anyone in particular.
"I'm cutting away drive," Luna muttered on. "You know that little feeling that tells you to do something, and puts in motion the way to do it? It doesn't do anything. Emotions are actually just a small fragment of the mind. A very noticeable and motivating factor, but ... simple compared to the rest. It's a fuel more than the mechanism."
"Miss Luna, I wish you'd be more clear. What is this all about?"
"There's so many things in our minds. Like, the need to do something stands loose from whether you actually want it. And sometimes the only thing stopping the need is that you don't really know how to."
Was this about her attachment to Zelas? Lina? Dilgear?
Lina?
"Miss Luna, your sister can probably help you best with this."
"Pfffft. Aren't you avoiding her too? Not that my sister's one for longwinded debates, but this plot involves murdering gods. Didn't wanna talk to her about that?"
"We had a word before she took the stage," Filia said tightly. "At this point, there is no rolling back the plan. Zelas wouldn't let it happen."
"Would Lina?"
"I trust her to do the right thing." Maybe.
Luna laughed, its tone mocking. "If she wants to talk to me, let her come. I'm still here."
Filia didn't like the sound of that.
"Besides, aren't you avoiding talking to Xelloss?"
"That's entirely different, we've just got nothing to talk about."
"Really."
"Yes."
· · · · · · ·
Elmegiddo had livened up since Lina settled there, in the sense that she put everyone to work. Most of this was restoring the damage the machine sustained and upgrading it with her new knowledge, but other parts of the construction were more questionable. Those extra wings and smaller towers made the main tower look more like an overstated castle than was necessary, really.
Rangort and Valwin had both elected people to speak for them, Orun for the latter and a concealed monk for the former. Ragrairyos could use more indirect means for communication, but had appointed Azonge for ease. It surprised Filia that it wasn't Milgazia, but she didn't have the energy to ask. She was here for another job.
The two hosts of Shabranigdu were half awake and straining against their seals. Before they started any Götterdämmerung, Lina wanted it certain they would not awaken in the middle of power transfer. For that, she planned to divide and reassign the power into smaller pieces that didn't have Shabranigdu's mind in it, so she needed void and creation magic.
In other words, time for agreeing with Xelloss on things. Not that she'd have a hard time considering this a common goal, but her plan had been to avoid him as much as possible until the Götterdämmerung.
Filia took a few deep breaths before she stepped onto the beach.
Though it was evening, Valwin's artificial weather kept the sky alight in silvers and golds — no blue anywhere. Storms circled the island and a disc of stars, through which the silver dragon twisted. The astral plane's waves matched the elements, always chaotic near the discord of Siephied and Shabranigdu's ancient battle.
Zelas stood on a rocky shore on the moon's side. Where else but for the lady who took after werewolves and angels. Once Filia would have been affronted that such a wicked being could look so holy, but now it meant nothing.
Ragrairyos half hovered over her, the rest of her submerged into the sea. In full dragon form, she was large enough to dwarf Zelas.
Humans looked so small compared to them, but there was no missing Lina's presence. She stood on a rock closer to the caves, cape floating not in wind but building magic. Gourry sat somewhere to the side, polishing his sword, while Naga had fallen asleep.
Gourry noticed Filia before she noticed him. He waved and said, "Hey Filia. Took you long enough."
"I'm sorry, I had a lot to do. Accounting is a mess, we suffered losses in half our factories and there's all these trades that need to be renegotiated." Telling the family Val was dead. "So, are we ready yet?"
"Nah, Zelas and Ragrairyos are still working up a way to make Xelloss channel away Shabranigdu's energy in case something goes wrong. We don't want it to get redirected into the tower."
That meant waiting, which Filia absolutely did not want. Time had to be killed or she'd fret.
"Anything useful I can do in the meantime, miss Lina?"
"Yes. I heard some very interesting stories about how you got Xelloss planted as a mole. You actually fooled Zelas, no wonder you were so terse over that part of the plot."
Oh no. Here it came.
"So, duck noises and strawberry sauce?"
"Those were all miss Claire's idea, okay? Can we please not talk about this here?"
"Okay, how about something else I didn't hear about, like the way you got yourself repeatedly killed by Xelloss? Don't start on it being part of the plan, Filia. Not that I object you wanna use Xelloss for a plot, but are you sure you didn't take this too far?"
"What's done is done and it worked, so it doesn't matter," Filia muttered. "Now, I believe there's a devil king we have to destroy, isn't there?"
"Filia, this better not become a problem somewhere down the line."
"I've been handling my problems quite fine, actually. On that topic, I think you and miss Luna should talk. You'll find she may be less spiteful, and—"
"Or we don't talk about my demon sister anymore than you're gonna talk about your demons," Lina said. "Let me say this, I know what it's like to live with trauma without thinking it's a problem. Watch yourself, not just others."
"That's not unlike what miss Luna told me yesterday," Filia said. "Are you sure—"
"Gotta go, have a demon king to destroy." She brushed by. "Gourry, don't touch that!"
Gourry had wandered into the sea up to his elbow, right at the edge of the whirlpool in which the host lay sealed. He tried poking it, but Ragrairyos teleported him back on shore.
"Don't, you might wake the enemy," Ragrairyos said.
"I think he's already awake, just weird," Gourry said.
He was right in a certain way, according to Lina.
Under Valgarv's influence, the host bodies had been dissolved to the brink of souls, encased by a code of Volphied's making. What was left amounted to the principle of Lezo's soul jars. Ragrairyos held them in place in small alcoves of seawater, like she'd held Lyos. Before any power could be given to Zelas, Shabranigdu's mind had to be destroyed. Luke had already been experimenting in hell with cutting off small pieces and making them independent servants, but hadn't been able to make them disobedient from Shabranigdu.
Zelas's contribution was a strange craft that allowed her to put souls into plantlike encasings. When they grew into wombs on the branches, or seaweed in this case, Zelas could control how they felt. Basic neurochemistry, as she called it. Devils could possess weak minds, Filia remembered Lyos telling her.
Most of this went entirely over Filia's head. She considered asking Xelloss for explanation, but refrained.
"I fail to see the method of conversion," Zelas said once she ran out of things to do.
"I haven't tried it in this world yet, but there's Chaos Words that I think could work for us here," Lina said. "It'll allow me to direct the creative process of fusion magic."
"You did not say you would already be casting such magic now." To Filia it sounded like she held back an irritated growl.
"I had no idea what to expect from this mess Valgarv made of the host, so I wasn't sure. You're free to pass it and we can do things the hard way."
"You may try whatever you feel needs, Apostle of Chaos."
"Hmm, I don't really like that title, but you're free to call me Beautiful Brilliant Sorceress."
"I am also free to pass this, I presume," Zelas mumbled, but Lina paid her no more heed.
"Filia, Xelloss, get read to give me fusion magic."
Both took position behind Lina. Xelloss was unusually quiet, all he did was stare opened eyed at the spectacle Lina was on the astral plane. Maybe he could read things into it that were lost on Filia, because fascinated Xelloss was a rare sight indeed.
Wordless, they began to channel. Filia's resources were still limited as she could only draw on Ragrairyos, Xelloss matched her limits. Once they had a fair cloud over the cradle, Lina boosted her talismans first, then sat down on her rock. While her hands remained in forward casting position, her position was less about radiating power than shelter.
Her astral body flared in that strange gold as she cast an unknown spell. The cloud draw into her hands.
"Radiance beyond the brightest star.
Deeper than the deepest night.
Oh, Lord of Light who shines like gold upon the Vessels of Void.
I call upon thee, I swear myself to thee.
GOLDEN SEA SLAVE!"
Filia froze when Valgarv's words echoed in her memory. Lucifer's Slave. Was it a trick, or had something else been true too?
On the astral plane, Lina's gold spread across multiple layers. It enveloped the cradle until small black spots dripped out of it, into the water. Lina relaxed, but did not let go of the magic. It stayed all around her, from her hands to her feet into the rock and sea.
"That's not the right one, Lina," Gourry said. "I thought it was longer."
"I'm not using the complete one," Lina said. "Imperfect's good enough for this, I told you that already. How do you remember the spell, but that?"
"It's because when you—"
"Nevermind!" Lina shouted.
Before Gourry got another word in, Naga pulled at Gourry's hair. Apparently she'd not so much slept as laid back. "Let's let Lina focus now, we don't want anymore accident, right?"
Ragrairyos raised the black spots further. Lina took them one by one, enveloping them with gold before sending them to the beach. They formed a cluster at Zelas's feet.
Once Lina had crafted several dozen of these, she stopped.
"Okay, Zelas. Eat up."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Just treat it like separate energy, like when you create a minion of your own."
Zelas reluctantly picked up one of the spheres. It was easy to swallow and she continued much swifter. Once the last was in, Lina set a hand on the sand. From below her palm, a perfect life law circle unfolded, which faded to the astral plane quickly. Golden flares burst free there, brightening the plane until the horizon looked dim in comparison.
Zelas threw her head back and howled, her wings flaring in a circle before her. Out of her breath came dark mist, which spun into gold-tinted veins. Now Filia saw the tree.
Devils dropped out of the branches in a multitude of animal forms. Some were humanoid, others more beastial. Each had traits of more than one creature, always something of a wolf and never a human head. A few were loops or cubes or other abstract shapes. Simple spirals could fell from the same core as complicated chimeran beasts. All were black, dark brown or dark purple, putting them in sharp contrast with Zelas's all around brightness.
After the last was breathed out, Zelas commanded them to kneel.
As one, the swarm shrouded the pale sand. Those without a distinct shape took on one.
"This gotta be confusing, right, Xelloss? Your little brother has so many bodies," Gourry said with a laugh.
"Huh?" Lina asked. "Little brother? I'm pretty sure I made multiple."
"They have no drive of their own," Zelas growled. "When I created Xelloss, he moved at once. The same rings true for incidental creations. If what your husband says is true, they may something else on our hands."
"Is that a problem?" Filia asked.
"If they resonate with Lei Magnus and he can steal them away, it shall be," Zelas said.
"Dammit. Is there any way we can find out what's really in there?" Lina asked.
"I will find out," Zelas said. "Give me some time to experiment."
Lina groaned. "You do that, I'm going to get dinner. Gourry, Naga, let's go."
While Lina took a moment to release the golden grip on her, Filia stepped up. "Miss Lina, about your sister—"
"No time, I'm exhausted. Food calls," Lina said. She flew off without casting a ray wing. Naga did cast it and carried along Gourry.
Zelas remained with the flock, giving them orders to speak about themselves and listening, while others she told to fetch things or perform certain magic. Whatever she concluded of it remained a mystery to Filia.
Zelas Metaliom was perhaps not her greatest enemy, but she had a hand in a lot that went wrong in her life. Her choices had been selfish and disregarded Filia and everyone else's agency. That affected even Xelloss, whose free will lay at the feet of her whims. She wondered how much Xelloss had been aware that the things he had once insulted her for could hit his home too? Selfish things.
She dismissed the idea of confronting her, be it over what she'd done to Filia, or what Filia might have contributed to in her break down. As much as part of her wanted the rage and the justice, she was too tired. So instead she walked back into the tower, sure to find work soon, or maybe take an hour of sleep.
Just as she was about to enter the caves, Xelloss manifested beside her. Gone was the trance like state, replaced by his usual obnoxious cheer.
"Do you want to see whether we can put woodchips in the food of Ospirias?"
She kept on walking.
"I bet we can work in a whole log in due time."
"Xelloss, stop," she said.
"Stop what?"
She made a vague gesture, unsure herself of what to define. "This ... this friendly thing. Our contract is over. You're only doing it because you're hoping I'll stay fun or to make me cooperate. You're muddling my resolve."
"Muddling it?" He sounded offended. "I act as I want, that's hardly muddling."
"We'll be enemies soon. Zelas said so herself, back in Kataart. If you have any respect for me, you'll stop this. Your mother got the message, follow it."
"The Beast Monarch is not my mother, nor is her behavior mine. The world works with certain people, like yourself, and I no longer need to hide what I appreciate. If I'm being more open to fun with you, it's only because you earned some respect."
Filia sneered. "Fun for you, not for me. I am organic, Xelloss. My life is a tower, not a road. It's worse to hurt people when we've been not entirely hateful before."
"Is that all? Whatever may happen during the ensuing power struggle, we don't need to play bloody, after all. I wouldn't mind to extend our little pact and its agreements beyond the end of the plan. By upping the ante of respect, I dare say we are much closer to a dignified foeship, are we not?"
"You'd have to be a decent person before you can be a dignified foe. Please, Xelloss. You can't even project a regal priest's staff."
Rolling into the trap of treating Xelloss like a nuisance was so, so easy. For all his brutality, Xelloss's silliness was just as real. When that side was out, how could she not respond?
"Well, I'll have you know that this was a perfectly normal kind of staff a thousand years ago under the barrier. Not that you'd know anything about that. You were never that up to date with history."
So, so grating. She almost took the counter bait, but no. She couldn't let this go out of control.
"Yes, I wouldn't know because I have better things to do with my life than investigate out dated fashion, like survival. I'm not going to let my guard down again with bickering, Xelloss. You're dangerous, especially when the stakes are high."
He cracked on eye open. "Have you ever considered the same is true for me? You too have power that terrifies me. Why did you begin learning about soul gates anyway, miss Filia?"
"I'm sure you guessed already. You. When you nearly killed mister Milgazia, I thought I had to."
"So I've been told," Xelloss said. "Doesn't that makes us even? We could both do awful things to each other, that doesn't mean we have to. Not anymore. Would you on a whim mess with my mind?"
"That won't matter if Zelas commands you! Nor does it make us even when you're so much more likely to abuse your power, when you already have, when you've been made to do that."
"There is one choice I had to make about myself, miss Filia. My liege gave it to me and she does not regret it. Don't worry too much for what she might have me do to you."
"Do you know that, or just assume it? You've been wrong about her before."
"I suppose I have been." He got that rare apologetic look, a little sad. At times like this she wished she could eat emotions, but the world was as it was. Filia could only walk away with her uncertainty.
· · · · · · ·
Since Lina wanted to experiment more, Filia could spend the next day attending to her company, also known as distracting herself from grief and everything else. She could only do that for so long, so eventually she returned home.
After hopping across the station to Rygoon and from there to Sailoon, Filia was ready to spend the rest of the day attending to her company. She teleported right into her office and prepared to sit down when she felt it. A devil was nearby. The familiar tingle indicated Xelloss.
Rather than teleport down, she stomped down the stairs to make it clear she was pissed off.
Xelloss lay wide on her couch as if he belonged there, sipping tea and hogging the entire cookie can.
"What are you doing here?" Filia snapped. Almost she added they had an agreement, but no. He'd say it didn't count anymore.
"Chill. I let the clown in cause he had a good enough reason. We're gonna fix your hands," Luna said out of nowhere. Filia startled, she hadn't sensed Luna at all.
"You're here?" she asked Luna, who just came down in the the kitchen.
Luna carried a pot of warm water and all the towels.
"Yep, still hiding. Doing a pretty good job too, judging from your response."
Luna kicked the coffee table aside and dumped the towels on the ground.
"What are you doing?"
"We're going to fix your hands," Luna said.
"What?"
"Break them like before, get you mid transformation, heal so it sticks to both your forms. Xelloss remembers how he broke your human hands, but getting just fixing that won't help the magic translation of forms. So how well do you think these towels hold blood?"
"What? No! Xelloss has done more than enough to me already! Why would I let him lay one more finger on me?" Filia crossed her arms, half to hide her hands. "Besides, you said so yourself. We'll be enemies again soon."
Xelloss did that thing where he scratched his cheek and looked all befuddled and innocent. Right now, Filia hated it. "Well, we're not enemies at the moment, are we?"
"What he said." Luna chuckled. "Might as well take advantage of it before shit goes down."
"This is no laughing matter, miss Luna. I've done enough fighting people who sat at my table, forever. Didn't you yourself tell me not to feel safe when I wasn't?"
"The thing with sinners and saints, they can both sit at tables," Xelloss said. "Till it's time to stand, no harm comes from what table they use, right?"
"If you wanna kick him out after your hands are fixed, we can do that. But you gotta admit, you're at an advantage if you're healthier, right? Elena took all the kids out, we got sound barriers so you can scream, and I grilled Xelloss on whether he understands anatomy — he does — so we're all set. What'd you say?"
She did want her hands back to normal, all things aside. Xelloss couldn't lie without being noticed.
"Will you sneak in anything that will hinder me in the future if you do this?" Filia asked him.
"No. I promise, no hidden strings or glue or tiny print."
"Alright." She sat down before the towels. "I'm not sure I can transform just my arms, so give me a moment to try."
To her surprise, it was easier to control. Being able to see energy flow on the astral plane told her things she'd only got a hint from before.
Xelloss sat down before her, holding out a hand.
With a warning glare, Filia laid her hand with the malgrown thumb in his. If he messed it up it would be the least loss.
"Here goes," Xelloss said with a smile. His fingers clenched. Filia remembered the dark hall and yellow eyes, but it didn't send her into panic anymore. She liked to think she had become braver, but more likely she had just become desensitized. She only had to bite back a scream of pain.
Xelloss loosened his grip and she pushed her form into dragon claw. When the yellow light was at mid strength, Xelloss once more pulled at her bones. This time she did scream.
When he let go, her hand had turned dragon entirely, full of pain but loose too. A few drops of blood went down, but five towels was overkill.
Healing began by help of Luna's holy flow and her own balance, taking the pain and stiffness away. Careful, she morphed her claw back into a human hand.
She turned it around, curled her fingers, unfolded her thumb, finding it all exactly as it should be. Perhaps even better.
"Ready for the other?"
This time it was easier; both the pain and the memories.
Luna handed Filia a string, Filia knew what for.
Osage Diamonds, Three Sunfish, Seven Stars. String figures was as easy as it should be. Heavens, she could do everything again. Pottery was back on the map. She couldn't stop the smile, even when it felt wrong to be happy about trivial things now.
"No thanks?" Xelloss asked.
"Don't be silly, you are just fixing your own damage," Filia said. She stuck out her tongue for good measure.
Falling into grim realities versus lighthearted moments began to feel like a tug-o-war. For now, Xelloss was firmly rooted on the sunny side and didn't look like he wanted to leave.
"What if I became your enemy?" The question came so out of the blue, Filia did a double take on Luna.
"Why would you be my enemy?"
"Just a thought exercise."
Xelloss cracked an eye open at Luna. "You and thought exercises? That's peculiar."
"The chairs gave out, I have got nothing else to want," Luna whispered with an odd grin. "You can do it with minds too, right, Filia? This all. Put it back together like we did with your hands. Put it back together better."
"If this is about Claire and Val, no," Filia said.
"Val was a program that preexisted and Claire was a godly fragment with personality. Miss Lina added souls. We haven't ever remade anything," Xelloss said. "Why? Is there something you'd have us do?"
"I just want to stop wanting something stupid." Luna dropped back on the couch, hands up. She made odd gestures to the ceiling, like she painted something with her fingers. "Give me a better will. Ragradia would have scorned at Ragrairyos, right? Just like Ragrairyos scorns at Ragradia and Claire? Would I think of me as useless when I change like that? Is that still me?"
"How unusually existential of you," Xelloss said. "Do you need a blow to the head?"
"Leyunso said she planted the seed in Zelas. Then there once was a Zelas who wanted to end the world with all her being. Was that the same one that almost existed when Xelloss backstabbed her, or not? Are these lost people in some other timeline that we would've been if not for some god getting into ours heads? Who would I have been?"
Luna had begun talking to herself. That wouldn't have worried Filia so much if she hadn't seen what a mess Luna's real self was.
Filia met Xelloss's wide open eyes; he too found something wrong.
When Xelloss wrapped his hand around his staff, Filia leaned over to Luna with sleep magic at hand.
Luna shot up and slapped her hand aside.
"Nothing to say, Filia. Go away," she said without looking at her.
Xelloss had stood up. "Miss Luna, I think you should come to Elmegiddo and let someone look at you."
Luna wings flared, passing through couch and walls without a scratch, but Filia and Xelloss were thrown back.
"You two remember me, okay? You weighed against it."
Filia scrambled back on her feet, just in time to see Xelloss try to grab her. She actually shot at him, hard enough that he had to shield and step back.
"What are you doing?" Xelloss snapped.
"What I want, Xelloss."
Luna's human form flickered out of view, leaving only her inhuman astral body. A golden glow enveloped it and she teleported away.
Flames and the stench of burned flesh remained in the air. In sheer horror, Filia stared for several seconds, before scrambling to where Luna had vanished.
"Was that another thing she learned while we weren't watching?" Xelloss asked.
"Not that I know of. Have you ever seen anything like this?"
"Not the deprojecting of body, but I did meet someone who acted weird and refused to talk to their loved ones. So did you."
The deja vu shouldn't be this strong — this was Luna, not Valgarv.
Right?
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