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Chapter 29

Teen Problems


Leah


Okay ... Day three with Edward. The times, in which one loudly announced you return, were apparently over!

If I had known how the two of them were lying there on the kitchen floor, I would have gone quietly and secretly to my room. Now it was too late for that. But they looked so sweet. Covered in chocolate frosting and smiling in embarrassment. Embarrassed because I saw them like that. It had to be incredibly awkward for Mom.

"You guys know that the chocolate belongs on the cake?" I asked, chuckling. The gaze of the two was priceless! Guilty, ashamed, and searching for an explanation or defensive words, but they didn't seem to be lying anywhere on the floor where they were looking.

"Where's Jake?" mom then asked quickly.

It sounded almost panicked.

Did she know about what had happened at school?

Edward nodded.

Great. Hence the tone of her voice. But hardly anything had happened. Ben and Brandon hadn't even noticed anything. But I was excited, when Jake would show it to me later.

"Still with Becky, but coming soon," I said blithely, looking around the kitchen. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I asked, but somehow everything seemed to be already prepared.

I looked at the clock.

6:09 p.m.

They couldn't possibly be done with everything already in that short amount of time. Usually, Mom was on the verge of a kitchen nervous breakdown, when there were evenings like this during the workweek.

"All ready ... We have a very hard-working maid!" mom explained, looking gratefully at Edward.

He returned her gaze with a devoted kiss on the hand before she cleaned up a few things.

Wow ... He really came from another time. I considered driving to an optician with Mom when the opportunity arose. Because Edward's gaze at that so coincidental moment was not without merit. How could Mom miss that ...? Maybe the problem was less the overlooking, but more the 'refusing to believe'.

"You can give him a piece of the cake for it!" I suggested.

"No thanks!" Edward grimaced in disgust. "Already got more than I bargained for!" he accused Mom playfully, who chuckled in response, but handed him a dish towel with which that he sat down on the countertop.

Well, as a vampire one had to do without many treats, I thought and nibbled on the last bit of frosting. The two of them hadn't exactly left much. Mmm ... I could lick it clean and just tell Jake that Edward had already rinsed it, not knowing that we usually got the leftovers. When did Mom already make the cake with this frosting? Once a year! Sibling love had its limits! I also had to think of myself for once!

"Well, that's not very nice of you!" Edward accused me but seemed amused, while looking me sternly in the eyes.

Damn, you got me! ... Wait! It's his fault there's so little left.

"Then I guess I'd better shut up," he said playing guiltily, and I sat down next to Edward with the bowl on my legs, satisfied.

"You got mail!" Mom then turned to me and smiled promptly at me.

But I just laughed.

"You might want to go take a shower, or is that how you're going to greet your guests?" I asked her and she looked down at herself, embarrassed. Apart from her face, the chocolate frosting also stuck to her neck, hair, the back of her neck and on her blouse. Also, her jeans had got some, too.

They had really not been thrifty and had probably not wasted a thought on us poor kids!

I looked at the letter.

Berkeley. Oh my God! A thick and heavy envelope. From Berkeley University.

I threw the bowl aside, which Edward managed to catch, and tore open the letter with shaky fingers. Nervously, I flipped through the many pages with the slightly wavering letters ...

I was accepted ... A place in the dormitory ... pretty close to campus ... The same as Ben. YES! ... But ... no scholarship ...

"My daughter is going to California!" mom said, visibly proud, and wanted to give me a kiss.

However, I refused.

I didn't want to get chocolate on me.

I laughed and was happy.

It wasn't until Mom then went upstairs to shower that I gave it some thought as I inattentively flipped through the various pages and looked at the brochures.

No scholarship. Not even a partial one.

Ben and I had already considered what it would be like if we went to the same university. Actually, we had never imagined anything else. But for a few weeks I was thinking about the immense costs. Through a colleague at work, Mom knew how expensive Berkeley was going to be, and she was downright shocked at what was coming down the pike. If Princeton worked out for Jake, that was definitely more money than what Mom had been planning on. Jake's chances of getting a scholarship were worse than mine. He had good grades, but there was no way that was enough for a full scholarship. Maybe I would have better luck with that at other colleges. Maybe there was one not far from Ben.

But it was Berkeley, dammit! Maybe Mom had saved more than I thought. After all, I was young. What did I know about money? I didn't even know what Mom made a month. Or anyone else who had a job.

"You're worried about the financing?" Edward, who was still sitting next to me, inquired while wiping the chocolate off himself.

I nodded.

"Yeah ... Although she always said that she would pay for us to go to any college and she would have saved the last few years just for that. But somehow, I'm not so sure about that anymore since I've been looking into tuition. She doesn't tell us how much money she has. But how much can she have as a single mother? Besides, we don't exactly live too badly either," I explained my concern.

"I don't think your concerns are that far out there. Attending a university can definitely be expensive, even if you don't choose one of the elite colleges," he said, understandingly.

"Do you know how much something like that costs in all?" I inquired. According to Mom's stories, Edward had already studied a few times. Sure, I remembered. He was a doctor, after all. I wonder where he had studied.

"Harvard," he said dryly. "One of the most expensive universities there is. The cost of Berkeley will be a fraction of that. It also depends a little on what you want to study," he explained, and I told him what Jake and I had planned.

I neurobiology, he bioengineering. We just had a soft spot for all the science stuff through Mom.

He smiled, guessing that Mom would probably be very proud of that.

Oh yes, she was.

I was a little intimidated when he said, in response to my question, that he had already been to Yale, Dartmouth, Stanford, and also Berkeley.

And I wondered how much money he had.

But he smiled, ignoring the question.

That's really none of my business, I realized for myself.

"Bella never accepted anything from me, and I doubt anything has changed, or will change ... Maybe I'll have more luck with you," he considered.

What?

"If only money stands in the way of your dreams, I'd love to help you with that!" he said calmly now.

What? Bullshit! It didn't! I couldn't take money from Edward. No way!

"Why not? ... You've been to Carlisle and you know how I feel about you and Jake. That you are just as important to me as Bella herself."

"Have you already told Mom that?" I asked, trying to distract from the topic at hand. Mom didn't tell us anything like that either. I wondered just what the relationship status was between him and Mom. Were they together or not? But it looked pretty clear on the floor earlier.

"No. I haven't told her yet. I think she would question my words at the moment ... I let her believe then that I didn't want her and she has lived with that certainty for the past nineteen years, forgetting me. What reason would your mother have to believe me now, so suddenly, that I have only ever loved her and left her only for her own good?" he explained to me thoughtful, and I considered his words.

He was right. She had said it herself on Monday and even on Wednesday after his first appearance: 'Nothing would change.' She was convinced that he was only here out of politeness and pure friendship. Although that looked different a little while ago.

"We're getting close again. Very quickly, actually," Edward smiled with satisfaction, jumping off the countertop, setting the dish towel aside. "I think Bella will believe moments like this more than my words."

I chuckled slightly at the thought of how I found them, but nodded.

I had never seen Mom like in the past few days. Kind of silly, but also happy. I was happy for her. He seemed really good for her. It surprised me, though, that he spoke so openly about his feelings with me, the daughter.

"Why not? I will not pass you over just because I can no longer live without your mother. You should know that my intentions are sincere and honorable. You have every right to know about my desires and to judge them. They are not ONLY Bella's children, whom such things are none of their business, who will be out of the house next year and therefore can perhaps be ignored. You determine Bella's life even more than she realizes it herself. Precisely because she is your mother ... For me, loving Bella means also loving you and fulfilling your every wish, as far as I can. Even if Bella decides to push me out of her life forever, that won't change," he said.

I found no reason not to believe his every word and wrapped my arms around him. I didn't know exactly why I was doing this. His words had moved me somehow. He made me feel important and not just an insignificant child. Perhaps I was thanking him for this confirmation, which really did me good.

But I already found his hug kind of strange. So cold. I felt his hard, stony skin directly on my arms and also through my blouse in the back, still there was something ... warm?

"And that means if I wish to go to Berkeley ..." I asked cautiously, trying to figure it out somehow.

"I would love to help you with that. Money doesn't make one happy, believe me. I have enough of it. But sometimes one can fulfill someone's dream with it," he said calmly.

"And what do you dream about?" I asked. How many dreams could one have, when one had immortality and plenty of dough to afford everything?

"Want to take a guess?" he asked me, looking upwards reverently to where we could hear the water from the shower.


"Are you looking forward to your trip?" he then asked as he helped me set the table.

I had dropped a plate in shock, but Edward saved it from crashing in a flash.

Worriedly, he turned to me.

"What's going on?" he asked calmly.

"I'm a little scared," I looked down at the table, a little embarrassed. My fear was ridiculous. I knew that.

"About what?" he smiled promptly at me. "About the things that have been going through your mind for the past few days when you think about Saturday night?" he continued to ask after I didn't say anything.

An uncomfortable heat rose in my cheeks and I looked at the table yet harder.

Oh my God! He knew about this? He knew what me and Ben had planned for that night?

"Don't be ashamed of it. It is only natural when you are in love," he tried to calm me down and quietly continued to spread the plates on the table.

It took me a moment to regain my composure.

A long moment.

"Can I ask you what exactly you're afraid of? All week you've been thinking about how you can't wait."

"That I'm doing something wrong," I admitted in a mumble, sitting down on the chair that stood in front of me and putting a hand over my eyes in shame. Was I really speaking to Edward about sex right now?

Edward came over to me and took my other hand in his.

"Everyone has this fear before their first time ... Ben too," he said calmly, and I looked at him flabbergasted. "He's having the same thoughts you are. The same thoughts everyone has beforehand."

"You too?" I asked doubtfully.

"Of course ... at least back when I was still together with Bella. But through that one experience that I unfortunately and involuntarily had with Samantha, I learned something."

"What?"

"Don't think about it!" he smiled at me understandingly.

But I didn't really understand what he meant.

What exactly was I not supposed to think about?

"If you're sure you want to do it, you have to turn off your head while doing it. There is no right or wrong when you surrender to your sensations ... Samantha surprised me. I didn't have time to give any thought to whether or not I was doing the right thing or how dangerous I could become in the rush of emotions."

"So, it was nice?" I now asked suspiciously. That had somehow sounded different this morning.

"On one hand ... no. It was Samantha. I would love to undo it and I hate her and also myself for it ... On the other ... yes, it was nice. Because all this time I thought it was your mother. You saw for yourself how much the two resemble each other and I was unable to see the truth that evening. I was an emotional wreck at that point, unable to think straight," he hung his head guiltily and I put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Yes, I knew the enormous similarity between Mom and Samantha, and I could easily imagine that even I would confuse the two if, for example, I had too much to drink or had still sleepily just gotten up. At least, if Mom were twenty years younger. Because the age difference between them really could not to be overlooked. But Edward only knew Mom as a teenager. Apart from that, I think I can follow him.

Not think about. Sounded so simple, but would it really be? No idea. I would try.

I wondered a little bit why it was so easy for me to talk to Edward about something like this. I was already embarrassed with Mom, but with Jake it worked reasonably well.

"But that's not the only thing I'm afraid of!" I muttered when I heard Mom on the stairs again.


Wow ... She got all dressed up.

A black, lace-trimmed blouse with a plunging neckline and light gray mottled fabric wide-leg pants. A lilac silk scarf lay elegantly around the collar of the blouse. Her long mane had so much volume that I rarely saw. I was just a little envious of it and reached into my short hair, to which I had not quite gotten used. My mom did not need makeup, she looked beautiful without it.

I quickly looked down.

Flat shoes. Thank God!

"Mrs. Black, you look enchanting," Edward walked up to her, gently taking one hand and turning it in front of him so he could admire her from all sides.

He then pulled her closer to him and gave her a tender kiss on the cheek. His eyes seemed to glow a little.

What was going through his mind?

"That you're afraid of something!" he broke away from Mom a little and turned back in my direction.

I was a little surprised.

I thought he had forgotten me when he saw Mom. In any case, I would not have held it against him.

"Almost!" he admitted apologetically, but smiled.

"What are you afraid of, Leah?" mom asked caringly now, sitting down with me.

I searched for the right words to explain it, but then everything poured out of me.

I was afraid of what Ben would say about this whole 'werewolf/vampire' story. As soon as I saw the right moment, I wanted to tell him about it.

Mom reacted angrily because I had decided to tell Ben the truth. She stood up and turned away from me.

That was her sign that she was disappointed in someone.

This rejection was bitter and involuntarily drove tears into my eyes. I pulled my legs up onto the chair and let my head sink to my knees. A cold hand gently stroked my back.

A very comforting gesture that calmed me down a bit.

Gratefully, I looked up at him.

"Bella. She only wants the same thing as Jake," he began, gently talking to Mom, turning her slightly by the forearm in his direction.

But he did not let go of me in the process.

"I knew you would be on her side," Mom freed herself from his tight grip, but Edward gave her no opportunity to escape and pulled her back to him with a hand on her cheek.

Very close.

"And you were happy to know the truth about me," Edward now countered, louder than necessary. But immediately his voice became calm and velvety again and he looked meaningfully into Mom's eyes. "As happy as I was that I could talk to you about everything and didn't have to hide anything from you anymore. You knew everything about me and exactly THAT not only I wanted, but especially YOU. I didn't have to hide from you anymore. I didn't have to pretend to be human anymore ... And that's how you once loved me."

Mom did not move. She looked into his eyes as if hypnotized and did not move a millimeter.

But her expression softened. Slowly, but visibly.

The seconds passed ...

Was she still alive? I was not sure.

The cold comforting hand left my back and wrapped around Mom's waist in a flash as she swayed.

"Bella!" Edward sounded inviting, but quite concerned, and I saw my mom take a deep breath in response.

What was that? She had forgotten ... to breathe? But scolding me again, if I forgot to brush my teeth in the evening.

Edward smirked, but immediately forced himself back to a more serious face.

Mom had seen his smile and suspiciously asked what the reason was.

Edward briefly explained my thoughts and Mom had to smirk as well.

"I'm sorry, Leah," Mom turned back to me and took me in her arms. "I shouldn't have been so angry. If you think Ben would understand, then you should tell him ... I'm just afraid for you. What might happen if the wrong people find out what you are. But I don't think Ben is one of them. I was overreacting. Please forgive me."

"It's okay, Mom," I tried to placate her, and we discussed the pros and cons.

Edward was really on my side, but so was Mom afterwards, which was very reassuring.

"No one can predict how he's going to react to this. With your mom, I've been waiting for nineteen years for her to run screaming," Edward ended the topic and put a hand sentimentally on Mom's cheek.


It was seven o'clock and Mom was starting to worry about Jake while she puttered around in the kitchen.

Maybe Michael had paid him or Becky another visit after school or something.

I thought this fear was exaggerated, but I could also understand it.

Edward tried to ease her concerns, but was not really successful.

I walked back to the cupboard with the good dishes, smirking, while my parents were playfully bickering with each other ...

My ... PARENTS?

Startled by this term, I looked into the kitchen.

And Edward looked at me.


Thanks for reading!