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Chapter 30

Long Night 1


Bella


I don't know what, but something had changed from one second to the next. I had just expressed my admittedly completely exaggerated concerns about Jake, which Edward of course tried to talk me out of as equally overblown. We were driving each other up the wall with it and so we were both getting more and more unfair and illogical, but in one fell swoop Edward had gone completely quiet and was looking through the kitchen door into the dining room. For a moment I was really scared. Not afraid of him. He appeared shaken. Not in a threatening or frightening way. Rather, as if he had become aware of something in that second that he had overlooked until now.

He came up to me and tenderly put his arms around me and whispered soulfully that he was going to pick up Jake. With his soothing hands on my cheeks, he said farewell with a soulful kiss on my forehead.

Confused, he left me in the kitchen and I looked after him even more confused as he walked up to Leah, took her hand briefly and nodded at her in understanding.

"What did you think?" I asked my daughter suspiciously as the dark blue car left our driveway. She had been looking at him kind of strangely. Almost in love, but that didn't really hit it.

A little startled, she now looked toward me. Caught.

She sank down in the chair that stood behind her and looked at me as if she was still discussing with herself what she should answer.

"Do you like him?" she then cautiously asked.

"Who?"

"The Good Lord," she rolled her eyes. "Edward!"

"Sure I like him," I answered immediately and went back to the kitchen.

The first pots had to be turned on. Actually, that was just an excuse for myself. An excuse not to have to think about it by that.

How could I not like Edward? I probably liked him more than was good for me. More than he liked me. Just like before.

I closed my eyes and remembered earlier.

He had told Emmett that I was someone special. He couldn't have meant that. But the way he had looked at me! Full of longing and affection. His eyes said he wanted nothing but me. But he had had a long time to rehearse that gaze, and had already destroyed me before. It couldn't have been real. Maybe just a sentimental aberration of his behavior. Only because of our past. Perhaps he had briefly forgotten that today was not earlier. Edward couldn't want me back, I stated matter-of-factly, however I actually caught a small tear welling up in my eye at this realization. I had to remain master of my senses. His company was nice and I wanted to enjoy it while I could, but I couldn't let myself go yet again in such a way that he could hurt me again.

"Mom?" Leah broke through my thoughts, which saddened me.

She stood right next to me.

I had not noticed how she had come to me. Just thinking about Edward could distract me again.

That was too much! I had to pull myself together and put a stop to my chaotic and childish feelings. I was a grown-up, for God's sake!

"Mom?" asked Leah yet again, and this time I lifted my gaze to her. "He likes you more than you might think!" she said emphatically.

"How would you know?" I asked doubtfully, but Leah just smiled.

"It shows when he's here. The way he looks at you. As if there was nothing more important in this world," she said and involuntarily a slight smile settled over my mouth.

I asked again what she had thought earlier.

"How beaming with joy and happy you look together. Even when you're quarreling," she replied this time, and I could already hear a car pulling up the driveway.

Edward came into the house, but I didn't see Jake.

What ...?

"Jake will be right here," Edward, who had come straight up to me, reassured me.

Leah's words echoed in me yet.

His hand on my cheek made my body pulsate slightly.

Could it really be true that he only wants me?

Then I heard Jake and immediately ran towards him.

His face was immaculate and did not give the impression of having been in any physical altercations today.

Hearing something boiling over in the kitchen and reassured regarding my son, I quickly returned to the kitchen. But Edward soon said goodbye.

"You're leaving?" I inquired as we stood alone on the terrace.

"Would you rather that I stayed?" he looked confidently at me.

"It's strange," I considered. "You've been here all afternoon. You leaving now feels strange," I admitted.

Mentally, the palm of my hand slammed against my forehead.

It felt strange because Leah's words had awakened a hope in me that was already nipped in the bud by his voluntary and early departure.

"I'm love being with you, Bella, and I really don't enjoy leaving. But you could not explain to your friends why I am here," Edward took me lightly in his arms.

I just nodded and enjoyed this wonderful cold.

"Your children have ordered coffee from me for seven o'clock. If you allow it, they will have it," he smirked.

"The fact that you're not our maid probably hasn't sunk in with them yet!" I muttered. I felt a little ashamed right now.

"Since I've been steadfastly helping you around the house since yesterday, no," Edward teasingly informed me.

"Thank you for your help!" I said and gave him a kiss on the cheek to emphasize my words. His cold skin on my lips! Unbelievable. "Again," I added, a little delayed.

"Always happy to," Edward said softly after he had opened his eyes again, just as delayed. He pulled me closer to him and put a hand to my cheek. "See you tomorrow morning, Bella ... Have fun at your birthday party and dream something nice tonight ... Maybe you'll give me the honor to appear to you in a dream!", he whispered lovingly and gave me a tender kiss on the cheek.

Then he disappeared lightning fast into the forest.


The evening was nice and fun. My guests were there and everyone was in a great mood. My friend Zoey, came with her husband and pubescent daughter, and Peter came with Stan. David had unfortunately not been able to make it, which I already knew since his last visit, but we skyped during dessert. He knew all my friends, although he lived far away.

The meal was a complete success and there was hardly any leftovers. There were enough drinks. The mood was exuberant.

Still, the evening dragged on a bit. But I doubted that anything about this small party was the reason.

Instead of having a Ramazzotti after the excessive eating like Alex, Stan, and Zoey, I went out on the patio with Peter and smoked a cigarette.

Actually, I didn't smoke, but when I felt like I was going to burst, I imagined that it helped. It didn't happen very often.

"What's going on between you and this Edward guy?" Peter immediately asked as the door clicked shut behind me.

I froze for a brief moment. One moment too long.

Peter grinned.

"Thought so!" he stated.

"So what?" I asked trying to sound indifferent.

"The boy got to you, even though he's so young!" Peter got straight to the point and I kept silent.

My face had to light like a tomato.

Peter apparently saw this as confirmation.

"Bells, you can do whatever you want if it makes you happy. Really. I live with a man, so I certainly won't point a finger at you or despise you for your preferences. But I would like to warn you in advance: There are people who will find it very difficult to accept this. If they can at all ... But I like the fellow, I must say. He seems to be very nice. And ... damn ... he is good looking," he smiled at me.

I smirked.

So, I was not wrong this afternoon.

I told him a little about Edward. First that I was not so sure what I actually wanted from Edward.

Peter, on the other hand, said I should just follow my heart.

Well, I would think about that.

At one point I saw Jake with Edward's CD in his hand, which he just slid into the stereo. I stopped him.

"This is not music for a party ... Besides, I want to listen to it alone," I tried to explain and my son understood me. I was not sure how I would react to this music. I couldn't remember a single note of it, but I could remember that it had moved me very much at the time.

He left the CD in the player, but instead searched for a radio station.

At one point, my children's friends stood in front of the door with a bouquet of flowers and loudly congratulated me. A really nice gesture that touched me very much, but I knew that it had little to do with me. They discussed tomorrow's schedule with Jake and Leah and were soon off again. I had allowed the two of them to go with the others, but they stayed home.


It was after midnight when I was then sitting alone on the couch with my kids and Jake finally told me about the fight.

I knew two of the boys, and I had at least heard of the other two. And what I had heard worried me as a mother. But Jake seemed to downplay it all quite a bit. The hard punches Emmett had mentioned on the phone sounded to Jake merely like a couple of harder slaps.

Then my kids headed out to patrol as wolves.

Not particularly tired yet, I sat down on the terrace with the last of the red wine in my glass and looked up at the cloud-covered night sky, illuminated by an almost full moon.

Of course, a cloud had to look exactly like Edward's profile. Maybe I was just imagining it, too. The weather here was similar to Washington State. I had known that before I moved here.

Was that perhaps why this decision was so easy for me at the time? Had I perhaps hoped that I would run into him again in a meteorologically similar place? ... Nonsense!

I was watching the innocent cloud pull apart Edward's contours when suddenly I heard something.

Something flashed through the forest at inhuman speed. Back and forth. It was not my children. Definitely not. They sounded heavier, not as light on their feet, and besides, they'd only been running for ten minutes.

I looked in all directions into the forest. Fear swept over me.

But who should come, if not Edward. Maybe Alice, if she had seen me in one of her weird premonitions.

But my uneasiness remained.

Neither of them would run back and forth so irritably.

Faster than my mind or eyes could focus, someone stood in front of me.

I couldn't believe who was standing in front of me. I almost believed I was looking into a mirror. A rejuvenating mirror. She did not look confusingly similar to me, but I could not deny a certain resemblance. I knew who she was without ever having met her. Samantha. Edward's Samantha. And she was here. Right in front of me. But why?

"So, it's you!" she stated after what felt like an eternity, sounding very venomous despite her melodic voice.

"Seems so!" I tried to reply in a firm voice, unimpressed. It worked surprisingly well. "And you are Samantha," I stated.

"You've heard of me already?" she asked smugly.

"Edward mentioned you once," I shrugged.

Her expression became offended.

"Mentioned?" she asked, shocked.

"Yep ... mentioned," I confirmed a bit more boldly, which she didn't seem to like at all. "Is there a particular reason for your visit? I was just about to go to bed," I continued to explain in that intonation and rose from my chair.

Samantha looked a little confused.

I almost started to grin.

She had obviously expected more interest on my part and didn't seem to be able to do anything with the opposite.

"Well, then ... Good night, Samantha," I said indifferently and turned to the door.

She stood in my way with lightning speed and I flinched in shock and dropped my glass. It shattered into thousands of tiny shards and the clink echoed in the darkness.

A smile now played around Samantha's mouth and it grew bigger.

And more evil.

With slow movements she came closer to me and I backed away just as slowly.

Where were my children? "What do you want from me?" I then asked, but the calmness in my voice had diminished considerably.

"Don't really know myself, to be honest," she said, standing still.

I took three more steps back before pausing as well.

"I was curious who you were, since you seem to be helping him forget his weird Bella ... And now it's you, yourself," she stated and continued to consider.

She mumbled something, but I could hardly understand.

"... explains why ... so suddenly again ... You know, Bella ... It's not easy when you are constantly measured against someone ... And then with an insignificant human being..." she purred.

"I have no idea what you're talking about!" I admitted. Just keep her talking so she didn't get any other ideas. Jake and Leah couldn't be gone much longer.

"Of course, you have ..."

"No. Where from?", I defended myself.

"Everyone in this goddamn family thinks of you the minute they see me," she said angrily now, coming at me with lightning speed.

She grabbed one of my wrists and gripped it forcibly.

"What can I do about that? I haven't seen them in nineteen years, and I haven't thought about any of them in almost as long! I assumed they wouldn't give me a single thought."

"And how they think of you! All the time! Every single one! ... I see how their eyes light up at first when I enter the room and then they are disappointed when they realize that it is only me ... When I mess things up, no matter how insignificant, they all think, 'Bella wouldn't have done that.' Even if I just forget to wipe my shoes at the front door ..."

"I'm very sorry about that, Samantha," I said honestly. I really didn't have to wonder why she didn't want to become my best friend, did I?

"Oh? ... Are you?" asked Samantha in amazement, her grip on my wrist loosening slightly.

A touch of relief ran through my body. I took a deep breath.

"Of course ... That must hurt you a lot. But I'm sure they all don't mean it. They may not even be aware that they are behaving this way towards you. Have you brought it up with them?" I asked, continuing the conversation.

"No," she muttered uncertainly, looking down at the floor.

I continued to speak calmly.

Explaining that although I could barely remember Carlisle and Esmé, I still had memories of their kindness and loving ways. I really couldn't imagine them treating Samantha that way on purpose, if that's what happened. Perhaps Samantha had an incorrect perception which increased itself ever further in her view. Because I could also not imagine that I still played a role in this family. They had left me behind because they did not want me. It had been a very clear!

Samantha said nothing for a long time and seemed to be lost in her thoughts.

Still, I had no chance to free my wrist.

Out of nowhere, her gaze lifted.

"I should break every single one of your bones and rip you out of this life so they'll finally stop comparing me to you," her voice became honeyed, lightly tapping each of my fingers as if she was just figuring out an order for breaking bones.

Her eyes spouted flashes of anger.

Time seemed to stand still ...


Thank you for reading!