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Chapter 57
Confused Morning
Bella
"What do you saying?" my angel asked in a whisper, right by my ear as I continued to lean against him.
I felt his breath on my shoulder, the cool hand through the fabric on my hip.
Leah looked beautiful. The dress in the fresh colors, the uneven cut, the matching jewelry. I actually still had no idea about fashion, but everything together appeared as if made for each other. The most important thing, however, was the sparkle in Leah's eyes. A glow that I had already missed in her for days. For the first time since she ran crying into my arms on Sunday, Leah looked truly alive. How could I bring myself to take that joy away from her?
So, I finally nodded.
"We take this," Edward explained quickly, before I could have changed my mind yet again.
I hid my face in my hands for a moment, but I smiled.
It actually went against all my principles, but Leah's joy was worth it to forget them for once. Besides, I knew that money meant nothing to Edward. So, I made an absolutely unique exception in this case ... Not quite unique, perhaps, I considered as the older lady handed Jake a watch from a display case. I could hardly object if Leah had already received something. Certainly, a fine piece, but how expensive could a watch already be. One hundred dollars? Okay, we're at a jeweler's. So maybe a little more. Besides, it suited Jake. In this black suit he looked downright decent and grown-up. He left childhood behind him more and more. Only the sneakers gave a hint of his churlish manner, which he still sometimes displayed.
I smirked and nodded as Leah voiced her opinion.
So. My children had been given far too many gifts and had thanked profusely for them. A small tear almost formed as they had both really warmly thanked Edward. So, we could go! I had already considered what I would put on for jewelry. In my jewelry box at home was a beautiful necklace, which consisted of some small filigree florets. In addition, matching earrings. Costume jewelry, but such things did not interest me. I did not need expensive bling.
I was about to free myself from Edward's arms, which were now as before around me, to leave the store as quickly as possible, when he pulled me tighter to him again.
"Your turn!" he whispered, and I felt a small shiver of denial drive through my body.
No. That was out of the question!
"Please don't deny me, dearest. Allow me to try to dash your principles. If you don't like it, you can always refuse," Edward murmured velvety softly, driving with his fingertips over my back again and at the same time with the other hand along my arm, while I felt his breath on my neck.
I got goose bumps while my mind went to nirvana.
A small compromise that I accepted without reservations.
I hardly noticed what Edward put on me. My heart, however, commented on how all sorts of things were put on me. His delicate fingers stroked along my neck, his heavenly lips touched my tingling skin, his sweet breath brushed my face. Hardly a second passed without his touch. The angelic face was so enchanting that I could not take my eyes away from his countenance.
His intense gaze as he slipped a ring over my finger made me a little giddy. Somewhere in the back of my mind there was a murmur of approval. For a small moment, something glowed in my chest. I didn't understand what my body had to say to this small gesture and passed it over.
Edward turned me in front of a mirror and put an arm around my waist.
Only fleetingly did I note that the jewelry was very pretty. Instead, I let these last minutes of tingling touches pass in review, while I carefully stroked over the jewelery. I looked into the reflection of his face.
He looked so excited under that loving smile.
He took my hand in his, stroked the back of it with his thumb and immediately brought it to his engaging lips.
I turned to him and took him tightly in my arms.
"Thank you so much, Edward!" I whispered, throwing my principles completely overboard.
Who needed principles when they had an angel? An angel, whom I did not want to take away his joy in any case. The joy of knowing that I would accept his gift. I was so grateful just because he was with me. Never again did I want to let him go. Never again to be alone. Never again to be without him ... But was that possible? Should I truly be granted this happiness for the rest of my life? Was it realistic to believe that he would always be there? It couldn't be. I wished it could be. I had to face the facts. At some point Edward would leave again. Even if he had promised not to. At some point, his family would move on. At some point, they would all have to leave Saco. At some point, Edward would miss them. Because they weren't getting any older. To stay only on their estate to hide from the people, they would not endure permanently. They would then feel like prisoners. Trapped in a golden cage. I would not allow that ...
"What am I going to do when you leave again?" I muttered absentmindedly.
I didn't even want to say it and was a little startled because I did.
"Bella. Before you stumbled into my life, my life was fine. An eternal night ...", I eavesdropped attentively on the melodic voice.
I tried to understand his words. I guessed what this would amount to, but I did not understand. A new promise that he would stay. It made no sense after I had just made it clear to myself that Edward would leave me again. If only this time because I didn't want to separate him from his family and then send him away myself.
"... Would you do me the honor and become my wife?" my angel knelt before me and looked up at me with feeling.
I did not move.
My mind lagged a little behind his words. It was still sorting.
Only when I realized what Edward had truly asked me, did I move again. At least I was breathing again.
My thoughts floated on the surface of liquid gold.
Edward asked me to become his wife. A vow of marriage. A vow that definitely had a different meaning for him than for me. Renée's words of warning flew through my head as well as the wreckage of my parents' marriage. But at the same time, also pictures of friends who were very happily married. Zoey and Alex, for example. Emily and Sam. Carlisle and Esmé. I had never thought about getting married - so who should I have married already? - and briefly thought about how Edward might have meant it. He came from a completely different time. Indeed, his relationship to time itself was generally quite different. With his upbringing and his faith, he did not ask this lightly. For Edward, it would be an alliance that would stand the test of time.
I withdrew my hand from him, stroking over the marble skin of his cheek.
Cold and smooth, yet somehow velvety. If one day I was like him, a vampire, we could outlast time together. Jointly. As two parts of a whole, for which time would not matter ... Yes! That's what I wanted!
My heart made a huge leap with this decision, as if it wanted to personally fill my eyes with tears of joy.
"Yes, Edward. I will. I want to be your wife!", I answered thus.
The face of my angel changed immediately.
He had looked wistful while I was bothering with all these silly thoughts. Hopeful. Pleading. Yet there was so much warmth and shelter in its gaze. And now it shone drunk with joy and his eyes glowed.
While he hugged me tightly and spun me around, I lost all composure. I wailed with joy.
It was of no use that Edward tried to kiss them away from me. There were just too many and I gratefully accepted the handkerchief, which was very quickly soaked.
I held my breath as Edward knelt in front of me again and slid a dreamlike ring on me. Inside me it quivered with excitement.
I was engaged! With my angel!
Then later we sat on the sofa at home and watched Leah's movie together.
I had no idea what it was about.
Edward and I just couldn't get the joyful laughter out of our faces. I kissed Edward again and again and looked alternately at the TV, at the twins, at the ring, and at my fiancé.
My fiancé. How that sounded! I was trembling inwardly with enthusiasm at that word. Now my family was complete. Mother, father, and two children. Everything was perfect!
I was just leaning over to reach for my glass when the doorbell rang.
I stood up and went to the door.
Trepidation gripped me the closer I got.
At this hour, there could only be bad news.
Carefully I opened the door and I couldn't believe it.
David!
I jumped into his arms. I quickly gave him a kiss on his closed lips before I was overrun by my own children.
"I need to talk to you!" he said seriously after pulling me into his arms and looking at me with a sad gaze.
I put my hands to his cheeks and looked into his eyes.
Something must have happened. Otherwise, he would not have appeared here so surprisingly.
My considerations about the reason for his visit made me forget Edward for a moment.
"Edward, this is David. My best friend ... for a very long time," I explained to him emphatically. I felt guilty that I had actually forgotten him for a moment. It must have seemed very strange to Edward how enthusiastically David was greeted by all three of us. He even had his own key. Especially also since none of us had mentioned David with a single word so far.
"Who's that?" Edward asked me, when David went in the kitchen.
He looked imploringly into my eyes and I knew very well how hurt he was.
I should have already told him about David, but so much had happened in the past few days. I just hadn't thought about David.
I put a hand gently to his cheek while his arms wrapped around me more instinctively.
No feeling lay behind this gesture. And I looked into frozen gold. It hurt me that he looked at me like that.
Briefly, I lowered my eyes to collect myself, but only caught sight of the engagement ring on my finger, equally condemning me.
"Let's talk about this in private later, please. David and I have been friends for so long already, I can't tell you everything so quickly." I waited anxiously for a reaction. Any one. "Please, Edward ..." I continued apologetically, desperately clinging to his shirt with my free hand.
The gold was getting cracks. Only very small ones.
Edward nodded sorrowfully and his arms around me showed a slight stirring of emotion.
"Please, be nice to him. David is family to us," I asked quietly and Edward gritted his teeth as he nodded again.
I gave my angel a light kiss.
I would tell him later exactly what that meant and how it had come about. I also had to discuss with Edward what we could tell David about us. Oh well. There was no question in my mind that I would tell David about our engagement. I just didn't know how to go about it. David would not assume that I would get involved with a man who was only half my age. In general, I could not lie to David. I also didn't want to. He meant too much to me for that! But would he be able to understand the truth? I was really not sure. To present him all the supernatural facts at once was out of the question for me. Wolves and vampires. There was no way he would get it in its entirety. I'd have to give it to him in bits and pieces. Everything nice and little by little. Maybe also not necessarily everything. But now was definitely not the right time. I could tell David was exhausted from the long drive.
But I never got around to it.
Nor to prepare the guest room, or to talk to Edward.
Jake and Leah came to mind with so many events that they wanted David to be a part of, that at some point my eyes started to glaze over.
"Good morning, my sunshine," David smiled at me in the morning with a cup of coffee.
He had apparently already showered, and was sitting on the edge of my bed with only a towel around his hips.
Something was very wrong here. First: I was not in the arms of my angel. Secondly: The coffee was brought to me by the completely wrong person. I absolutely had to talk to Edward!
"Have your morning habits changed lately, or why are you all still lying in bed?" he asked as I took the cup from him and glanced casually at the alarm clock.
6:19 a.m.
I gasped in shock and jumped up.
He mumbled something behind me about how I had answered his question by jumping up and went back into the guest room.
None of us set our alarm clocks yet, since we were woken up by Edward every morning. Which inevitably lead me to the question, where was Edward!
"Leah! Wake up!" I tried to wake her up as gently as possible and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Where's Edward?" was the first thing that crossed her lips.
"I wish I knew," I muttered to myself, yet told her the time and quickly went to Jake.
I rolled my eyes when he was awake.
Twins. Independently of each other, they liked to ask the same questions.
"If you still want to run, you'll have to hurry," I said to them before going back into the bedroom.
I looked around.
It looked like always. Except that it was missing a very specific vampire.
Out of impulse, I went to the window and opened it. I looked at the edge of the forest. Like I had back in Forks when I was actually expecting Edward.
But I didn't see him.
Filled with feelings of guilt, I went to the bathroom, where it also seemed far too empty to me. I Especially felt very alone during my shower.
I got dressed and put on my jewelry. My engagement ring with special care.
I pushed Edward out of my thoughts. I didn't want to imagine that he wasn't with me last night. Or think about where he was right now. Why he hadn't woken either of us up. I would lose myself in absurd thoughts that frightened me. The fear that he would not come back. I didn't know what was going on in his head because of David, but it was the same mind that had once decided to leave me.
I had turned on music to distract myself and prepared breakfast, when David appeared in the kitchen. I smirked.
He always seemed so accurate and conscientious when getting ready for work. Quite different from how I felt - after all, we were the same age - or how I knew him otherwise. Black leather shoes, a classy pair of jeans, an expensive shirt with a tie, and a sporty jacket. Alice would be thrilled with him. Plus the tousled dark blond hair.
He was sexy. Even at first glance he had somehow reminded me of Edward, although they actually hardly looked similar. A similar hairstyle, but with the wrong color. The height and the stature fit to some extent. And I had drowned in his green eyes that always shone brightly. I didn't know why, but I imagined that Edward might have had such eyes as a human.
"When I came back from my jog, the coffee was almost ready and the bag of rolls was already by the machine," David wondered.
I smiled a little reassured.
Maybe Edward wanted to wake us and then had heard that David was already up. He had even brought two rolls for him, which I immediately offered him. Together with an explanation that was actually quite far-fetched, that Jake was certainly already awake.
David was convinced and had was hungry as a bear.
"What's on the schedule for you today?" I asked since he seemed to be leaving already and I needed to distract myself.
He was a laboratory software programmer - the kind I also used at work. He had studied biology with me for two semesters so that he knew what to program. His company was headquartered in Philadelphia and David serviced the clients around Portland. Every three months, he came here for about a week and make the rounds with his clients. He would install updates, correct errors, check the server load, the interact with other programs, and so on. And when he was here to work, he stayed with me.
"Lewiston. Then I have already done that," he grinned a played tortured smile.
This was the most distant customer from here and - as far as I knew from his stories - probably also the most difficult.
The twins had foregone their early morning exercise today, came running down and sat at the table with me to eat, while David walked back and forth behind all of us, eating his two rolls as he did so.
He couldn't sit still in the morning when he had to work. He made some small talk. Asked if they had slept well, who had plans today, and so on.
Then he looked at his watch.
It was already after seven o'clock.
"I've got to go, sweetie. See you later," he said, leaning down to me and pressing yet another soft kiss to the corner of my mouth.
As always.
He pulled the door just behind him, when my children were already staring at me with interest.
"Where is he?" they asked worriedly.
"I don't know," I just replied and stood up to look into the forest.
"Did you guys quarrel?" asked Leah cautiously.
"Because of David?" Jake also wanted to know.
"To argue requires that you talk to each other."
I bit on my lower lip and nervously played with my ring.
Edward had to come. He could not leave me alone.
I looked intently into the forest. Only casually did I notice that the children were already leaving.
It rushed in my ears, everything around the windows blurred. I held on to the doorframe to the kitchen so I wouldn't buckle. My heart was racing with tension.
No ... Edward. Don't do this to me!
In my mind I shouted for him with all my might, but I could not bring a sound to my lips.
Then I felt a hand on mine. A cold hand and I immediately relaxed. I breathed a sigh of relief and threw myself into his arms. I sucked in his smell, clawed into his shirt and never wanted to let him go. His arms held me tightly against him.
"Apparently you missed me!" the velvety voice stated.
I looked up at him and his gaze was full of rich gold and so full of goodness.
Goodness that - I believed – I did not quite deserve. "I was scared," I confessed.
"Of what?"
"That you wouldn't come back!" I murmured, and a fearful tear ran down my cheek, which he promptly kissed away.
"I love you, Bella, and I can't be without you!" he said emotionally, kissing me with full abandon.
Everything was good again.
"But I would be grateful for a few explanatory words," he still asked.
And he deserved more than a few words.
I nodded.
"This evening, Edward. I'll tell you everything, but it's going to take some time."
"All right. Until then, jealousy will eat away at me," he teased me, and his eyes meant it far more seriously than his voice suggested.
"Are you taking me to work?" I asked.
"You don't want to drive your beloved motorcycle?" he asked skeptically.
"I need to make up for the time I missed with you," I said. "It was lonely in the shower."
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