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Chapter 70
A Hopeless Struggle
Leah
Lost in thought, almost fearful, I cleaned my room and also heard Jake tidying his room.
The fact that we had no idea who was coming made us nervous.
I was hoping for Sam and Emily. Emily had always been able to understand everything, and Sam was just Sam. He would reject Edward on principle for now, but would be willing to be convinced. He had said that he could understand Mom's decision to become a vampire to some extent. In the past, at least.
"JAKE! ... LEAH!" I heard a commanding voice that I could not assign to anyone.
So, it was time.
I swallowed.
Hand in hand, Jake and I headed toward the stairs, but we immediately let go of each other when we recognized Seth. With a relieved laugh, we walked down the steps. But our laughter died when we saw his face.
Harshness, disappointment, and power were reflected in it.
My self-confidence collapsed a bit and I just mechanically followed his command outside.
We quickly undressed on the terrace, phased and ran into the woods.
Seth led us and we followed.
We ran for some time just like that through the forest.
Seth enjoyed the forest, which he didn't know down to the last corner like he did at home. But then we stopped.
We weren't that far from home and I considered how far Edward would hear us.
I had not finished thinking when Seth tyrannically told us to run a little further.
He settled down surprisingly relaxed with his muzzle in the grass and we were to show him how everything had developed here since we were back from La Push. He looked at our memories. We endeavored not to omit and forget anything. We had no doubt that Seth would understand us afterwards.
So, Seth saw everything, heard everything, noticed our own thoughts, saw Mom happy with Edward. He had to see the love between them.
But he didn't make a face and turned off his own thoughts. He just watched. Until we were done.
Indecisively we stood in front of him.
We were actually a little taller than him, but we ducked a little. No idea why. We did it automatically, without thinking about it. Already from the very beginning. Perhaps to show him in this way that we had respect for his experience. We trusted him. Blindly even. He was not only the one wolf who had taught us everything. He was also our godfather. If we could not trust him, whom else?
'You have forgotten what your purpose is!' Seth accused us out of nowhere and rose.
Slowly, Seth straightened up to his full height. Commandingly, he stood before us, looking down on us, and his thoughts immediately resumed their service.
I wish I didn't hear them. It was the opposite of what I wanted to hear. Not the smallest bit of understanding sounded in Seth. No compassion. Only charges. Accusations. And disappointment. Bitter disappointment.
We were the shame of the pack of La Push. Our existence as wolves had only one purpose and we had failed in it mercilessly. What was Seth supposed to do with us as wolves who let themselves be wrapped around the finger of the very first vampire they met? He was glad that our father did not live to see it. Jacob Black would be utterly ashamed of us, when he himself had been a role model for everyone. Sam's right-hand man and capable of leading the pack himself. Although he was still so young. Our father had opposed two vampires alone, and we together couldn't even handle one. Seth himself didn't know how to tell Sam or Billy that. Our weakness. Our inability.
With each agonizing thought, he came closer and finally stood so close to us that our three muzzles were next to each other. Only centimeters away.
Every thought hit me like a hard blow. I tried to defend myself mentally, but Seth choked off each of my thoughts with the dual timbre of the alpha, and so his accusations only echoed more fiercely within me. Together with the burning heat of authority that this commanding voice held.
A howl like rolling thunder resounded through the forest and seemed to make the ground tremble. His growl forced us to our knees. His neck fur stood on end. His teeth were bared.
I was afraid. At some point I closed my eyes and imagined what death would be like. Nothing could be worse than this.
Jake was lying on the ground just as I was. We crouched as low as we could on the still damp earth.
To Seth's paws. With his double sound he pressed us down incessantly. Not for a moment did he let go of us with this sound. No matter what I tried, I couldn't manage to stand up to it. I smelled nothing but the blood of the Alpha wolf in front of me. Tasted nothing more but the bitter taste of failure on my tongue. Heard nothing more except the humiliating words of the sand-colored wolf. My will was broken and obeyed only Seth, not me. I no longer had a will. I whimpered. I was nothing!
The voice in my head had suddenly disappeared, I heard a moving away yelp and immediately there was a cold hand on my head, cuddling me reassuringly.
"Leah ... Jake ..." it whispered softly.
Exhausted, I opened my eyes and saw Edward crouching between us.
"He is lying. You are strong. You just have to believe in yourselves. You can free yourselves from him. He ..." he spoke calmly and was abruptly interrupted by a wolf.
Edward had disappeared between us.
I raised my head and was inwardly frightened.
Edward and Seth engaged in a relentless battle. Edward was fast and strong, but Seth had learned how to combat properly when he had to fight a newborn-army. Again and again they met brutally, hurled each other through the area, collided hard with trees, which groaned as a result. Rolled across the forest floor. Both screamed and yelped in pain. While scratch marks appeared on Edward's skin, blood ran down Seth's fur.
Before I had really understood what had happened at all, I was already standing on my feet. A quick look to the left. Jake was standing as well.
Edward stood with his back to us and we growled together at Seth. Slowly, threateningly and determinedly, we approached Seth.
'You will fulfill your duty!' the alpha's voice boomed in me again, pushing my forelegs back to the ground burning.
Jake also buckled next to me.
"Don't let him oppress you! ... You are strong!" Edward implored us, but we had no power over us.
With bared teeth, Seth walked toward Edward.
I fought against his authority. I was shaking all over my body from exertion. It hurt. From my muzzle to the tip of my tail.
Then I saw Edward lying on the ground just a few feet in front of me. I watched helplessly as Seth targeted Edward, unable to free myself from my submissive position. Edward tried to struggle to his feet, shaking himself. Seth was about to pounce on him from behind.
'NO! He will not destroy our father!'
The invisible shackles fell away from me as I towered over Edward, pushing Seth aside at the last moment.
Jake's and my thoughts were free. They merged into one entity. And in both our minds we heard an unbearable echo from each other that confused us both equally.
Distracted by this, Seth caught me on the side. The pain made me yelp. Jake had already expected the massive body to be where I had pushed him, but now he stumbled back two steps and shook his head as if to shake off the reverberation.
'You have to obey me!' we heard Seth again, who had finished his flight and immediately reared up aggressively to his full height again.
Growling, he walked up to Jake and bared his teeth.
I heard the authority again, but it no longer dominated me. And I heard the command in Jake, who was not impressed by it either.
I jumped to Jake's side. Shoulder to shoulder, raised to our full height, we walked up to Seth and growled at him.
'You can't command us anymore!' Jake and I thought at the same time, and again we paused at the sound of our collective thought voices. A double sound! And both of us had howled loudly in liberation. I tasted something in my mouth and in my mind. I was free! No one was oppressing me anymore. The blood of Ephraim and Jacob Black flowed through me! I was the alpha! The leader of the pack! Seth had to follow my orders!
Seth's head tilted in a whimper and his front legs pressed to the ground as we perceived the resounding echo in his head.
He burned inside and yelped in pain, but in his eyes still sparkled the fighting spirit. He was not ready to give up.
Neither were we!
'You don't touch our father!' we threatened.
Seth looked at us with flashing eyes. His head rose and I immediately rushed at him. Jake did the same and we wrestled brutally together. There were two of us, but young inexperienced pups unlike Seth. Again and again, his wolf's snout sank into the fur of another. The paws tore open the skin. Some massive body rolled across the ground or crashed against trees and rocks. And again and again one of us could be heard howling.
Seth's teeth lay in my neck and his huge paws pressed me down.
'Stop it!' pleaded Seth.
It was the first I had heard from him in several minutes. I freed myself from under him and his heavy body whirled around. I could already feel the warm blood under my thick fur again, which was almost the norm in the last few minutes. I ignored the pain and continued to concentrate on our fight.
I would defend my family if it was the last thing, I did!
Jake had already grabbed Seth by the fur, but he snapped his muzzle wildly in every conceivable direction. I jumped at him, teeth bared, my mouth wide open for a bite, when his paw caught me and my tusks dug bestially into my brother's shoulder. I immediately disengaged my jaw from him, but I had not only heard the shattering of his shoulder, but felt it as if it had been my own. In the desperate attempt to free himself from under us, Seth still had his paws stemmed against us, and I again heard a deafening crack in Jake's chest. To the bones in my body, on the other hand, I paid no attention, but they were just as broken.
I had seen Edward again and again in the corner of my eye. He was talking insistently to us all, but we hadn't heard him. Helplessly, he had only been able to observe us.
Like that Sunday when Jake had come at him. And today, with three wolves wrestling, it was even more hopeless for him to intervene.
I heard a pained howl from Jake, who stood up on his hind legs. Still as erect as he was, Jake phased back, staggered backward, and was caught by Edward before he reached the ground.
The shoulder looked bad, as if he had come under a press. Jake's eyes were wide open and his gaze seemed to go nowhere.
"Jake!" cried Edward in panic as Jake - completely overcome by pain - lost consciousness.
Seth had shaken himself after his own release, caught sight of Jake and also phased back.
His face was damn pale for a Native American.
I built myself up protectively in front of my family members and growled at Seth.
He would not get too close to them!
"Leah!" Seth raised his arms defensively. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he whispered.
But I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me.
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