A / N: Before I start, I would like to thank all the new people - well, at least new for me - who have recently decided to follow me here on FF. Thank you so much for your support, I hope I won't disappoint you.
Camille was in the school restroom when her cell phone started ringing. The display showed Logan's number. Camille stared at it for a moment. It had been a while since Logan had called her, ten days, to be specific, but at least he had answered every text message she had sent him. Now she didn't know if his call was a good or a bad sign, so she took the call with mixed feelings. "Hey, Logan."
"Hi, Camille." His voice sounded happy. "Guess what, I'm feeling better."
"Really? That's great, Logan. So, the bad phase is over now?"
"Yes, and it was about time, my mom almost went crazy."
"Hmmm . . . understandable." She hesitated for a moment, then she said slowly, "Listen, Logan . . . Now that you're feeling better . . . Would you mind if I come by this afternoon?"
"No, of course not. On the contrary, I would be very happy about it. And I promise that I will be a much better company than last time."
"Oh no, don't say that. You weren't feeling well so-"
". . . I was trying to make a joke. Guess that's not my forte."
"Oh . . . No, yeah, I get it. Um, okay, I gotta go now, Logan."
"All right."
"Logan?"
"Yes?"
"I'm really glad you're okay now. I was worried about you."
"Thank you, but that wouldn't have been . . . thanks."
"See you later."
"Could you please stop with these faces? I'm already nervous."
"Sorry," Jo and James mumbled.
"Everything will be fine," Jo tried to calm her friend down. Camille looked at her doubtfully. "Yes, of course Jo, you're right. I'm just on my way to tell my super sweet and innocent boyfriend - who, by the way, has an autoimmune disorder and had never been in a relationship before - that I cheated on him. So yes, everything is fine."
"Maybe he'll understand . . ."
"You think? I'll tell you what will happen. He'll politely ask me to leave - because that's how he is - and then I'll never see or hear from him again."
"Well, on the bright side," James interjected, "if things don't work out with your boyfriend, you and I could give it a try and - ow!" With a grim look on his face, he rubbed the throbbing spot on the back of his head where Jo had hit him. "Yo, girl, why are you hitting me? I was trying to make a joke."
"Were you?" both girls asked at the same time, whereupon James mumbled something under his breath and then fell silent. Jo stepped forward and hugged Camille. "Good luck."
Camille nodded, got in her car, looked at her friends, sighed in frustration. "I said stop it!"
This time it was Logan who opened the door. He smiled at her, and Camille thought to herself that she had never seen him beam that much before. That didn't make the situation any easier for her.
"Hi," Logan greeted her cheerfully and gave her a quick hug. Camille felt a little overwhelmed by his unfamiliar cheerful attitude.
"My parents aren't home," Logan informed her as she followed him inside his room. She wasn't sure if the fact that Logan's parents weren't home was a good or bad thing. Logan closed the door and sat down on his desk chair. "So . . . what's up?"
Camille took a deep breath, kneaded her hands, and started pacing the room.
"Are you alright?" Logan asked worried.
'Damn, why did he have to be so sweet?' She sighed, then turned around to face him. "Logan . . . I have to tell you something. But before I do that, I want to say how sorry I am and that I would understand if you never want to see me again."
"What . . . what are you talking about? What happened?" He sounded so concerned.
"Um . . . okay, where do I start? Um, you remember the night your relapse started?"
"Yes?"
"Well . . . that wasn't the only thing that happened that night . . . you know, a few weeks ago we got a new classmate, his name is James, and . . ."
The silence was brutal while Camille waited for the explosion. Logan lifted his head, looked at her for good ten seconds - the longest ten seconds Camille had ever experienced - and asked, "Did you . . . did you kiss him because he's . . . not like me? Because he's normal?"
That was the thing that was going on in his head right now? Camille couldn't believe it. She had just told him about a terrible mistake she had made, it was clearly her fault, and yet he worried that he might have been the cause of this incident.
"No!" she said firmly and sank down on the floor in front of his chair. "Logan, I swear, this whole thing had nothing to do with you. I . . . I don't know why I did it, there's no excuse for it. I just want you to know how sorry I am, and I wish so badly that I could undo it, but I can't. You're so amazing and I'm just . . . I don't deserve you as a boyfriend so . . . well, if you want me to leave, I will."
And once again she waited in that awful silence and once again, he surprised her with his reaction. He got up, walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Please stand up."
She lifted her head. "So you can ask me to leave?"
"Please," he repeated, and she got up slowly, not daring to look at him.
"I won't ask you to leave. Because I really like spending time with you. And I can see how sorry you are. And I'm certainly not the sort of person who finds pleasure in seeing other people suffer, so . . . so I suggest we should just forget about this, okay?"
"R-really?"
"Yes. You know, I like you, I really, really do and it hurts me to see you like that. And if you tell me that nothing like this will ever happen again-"
"It won't, I promise."
". . . then this matter is closed for me."
"Are you really sure? Maybe you shouldn't act so hasty. I mean, if you need time to process, to think about it . . ."
"Yes, I'm sure," he said, smiling slightly.
"Can I . . . can I hug you then?"
"Yes."
So she did, pressing her face against his shoulder. "You're too good for this world, Logan."
"No, I'm not," he whispered, rubbing her back soothingly. "I'm really not."
". . . and do you know what happened next? They kissed! I . . . I can't . . . I . . . Gosh!"
"I'm confused," Kendall said, sitting on Logan's bed and watching his friend pace. "I thought you told Camille you just wanted to forget about this."
Logan stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "You didn't see her . . . I couldn't take it to see her suffer. But how on earth am I supposed to forget about this?" Sighing, he sank into his desk chair and buried his face in his hands. "It's my fault. I knew I couldn't be a boyfriend. I should have listened to that voice inside me and never got involved in this thing. People like me shouldn't be in relationships. Why did I let that happen?"
"Um, because you have feelings for her?"
Logan said nothing, lifted his head and looked out the window, watching his mother plant a new flower in one of her beds. "I don't even know what this guy looks like."
"Do you know his name?"
"I think it was James . . . something."
"James Diamond?"
"Why do you know that?"
"Jo told me about him."
"Fine. Now I know his name, but how does that help me?"
"Well, when you know his name, you could check if he has a social media account."
"If he has what?"
Kendall blinked. "You're kidding me, aren't you? You know, social media, like Instagram, Twitter, Facebook . . . um, never mind," he added, seeing his friend's confused expression. He snapped his fingers. "Give me your laptop."
Logan did and watched Kendall type something into the web browser's search engine.
"Alright, let's see . . . Ah, I think I found his Instagram . . . I . . . Oh . . ."
"What is it?" Logan asked impatiently.
"Um, you know what, you really should take your own advice and forget that thing. It would be the best for everyone and-"
"Show me the laptop."
"Um . . ."
"Kendall, show me the laptop!"
Kendall sighed. "All right." He turned the computer towards Logan. Logan leaned forward to get a better look at the screen, then . . . "That's him?! That's the guy I have to compete with? I thought he was some average guy, but he looks like . . .damn!"
"Okay, okay, relax, man. That doesn't mean anything. A lot of people fake and edit their photos to make them look better."
Logan started pacing again. "That doesn't matter. But you're right, those are just pictures, and they don't help me with my problem. I'd like to know if he . . . I . . . I need to see him, face to face."
"Okay, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And I have a friend in my class who thinks it's okay to eat sandwiches from a dumpster."
Logan paused. "Why would you eat sandwiches from a dumpster? It's unsanitary . . . and gross."
"Well, he's . . . um, sometimes he's a little . . . he has a metal plate in his head. Anyway, Logan, you're not going to do anything, are you?"
"Doing what?"
"Something stupid."
"Kendall, don't you understand? I need certainty."
"And how are you going to do that, huh? Are you suggesting that Camille should bring him over here?"
"No, of course not."
"Just forget it, Logan. And don't get any stupid ideas. Think of your parents, especially your mom, she would-"
"Yes. Yes, I know."
"Good."
Both boys were silent for a moment, then Kendall stood up. "I gotta go now. Just . . . just listen to me and forge it. You could get in real trouble, it's just not worth it."
"Yeah, sure," Logan mumbled and Kendall thought that his friend wasn't listening to him anymore, he was already somewhere else, in his own world, far away from everyone else.
