I own nothing. Warning, may contain Out of Character moments.


After the Sports Festival, UA gave the students a two day break to recover. And seeing how Midoriya got pretty banged up, it made sense. It was currently the second day of the break and Mineta was bored. Again, while home was nice, school had so many new possibilities waiting to be seized. And after the things he pulled at the Festival, 1A should have a whole new opinion about him.

"Then again, I did help put the girls into cheerleader outfits…" Mineta said with a nervous chuckle. Okay, let's not think about the consequences of that little escapade. The shorter boy quickly flopped around his bed, purging those thoughts into his Head. But no matter how vigorously he moved, deviant images kept cropping up. And eventually, the haze of lust began to cloud his head.

"You know what? Screw it, time to crank the yank." Mineta thought as he reached beneath his bed. The shorter boy didn't care what he grabbed, so long as he had 'tension relief material'. And upon grabbing something, he quickly reeled it in and opened to the first page. Aw yeah, this is...

Mineta stared at the opening page and squinted, it was plain white with strange symbols on it. He quickly flipped through the rest of the pages, only to find much of the same thing. He then looked at the cover to see what exactly he got. An issue of the world famous, ultra premium, subscription only, gentlemen's magazine Worship. And finally, it hit him.

"Oh right, this thing… Man, it's nice that we weren't ruined by this thing, but what a disappointment. What idiot decided to gut a magazine like this and fill it with nonsense? I mean, what does any of these mean?" Mineta grumbled, going back to the first page. He began to look at one particular symbol, turning it to all sorts of angles. He then began to question his sanity, still flipping the magazine end over end.

"Or maybe, I'm the idiot for expecting something. I mean, it's not like I'll see something if I keep…" Mineta continued, stopping as soon as he could. The shorter boy remained still, keeping the magazine at a certain angle and orientation. The symbol he was staring at changed, showing a logo of sorts. A logo he recognizes from all the times he and Midoriya visited the place it belonged to.

"That's the Fig Grove logo…" Mineta thought. He proceeded to scan the rest of the page. The other scribbling on the page began to make sense, though it was just a large series of numbers and letters. Keeping the angle the same, the shorter boy ran to his desk, flipped open a book, and grabbed a pen. He quickly wrote them down, making sure not to make a single mistake. And after writing the twenty combinations, he stared at them. There had to be a reason it was written specifically in this way.

And it was the fourth combination that held the answer. Mineta got up from his desk and went to his shelf, pulling a figurine of a Heroine dressed in honey colored, insect-like armor. This was Amber Moon, the Heroine with the second best costume in Canada. But instead of studying the appearance of the figurine, he looked at the bottom of the base.

CA0032249. The same combination as the one listed from the book.

"Huh… Let's see if I can pull up the other items on their website." Mineta said, immediately going to his computer. The mouse clicked as the keys clacked. For the five minutes it took for Mineta to find all the serial numbers, he finally had the names of various Heroes. The shorter boy stretched his body as he stared at the list. There had to be some reason why it's in this specific order and with these specific people.

Mineta's eyes began to read the list in every direction. Right to left, up to down, and diagonally, he covered all his angles. And as he searched; he found the only few words hidden within the mess of letters. And from top to bottom, he began to put them together.

"Secret… Treasure… Hidden… Inside… Wait, treasure!?" Mineta mumbled before shouting. He immediately covered his mouth. For one thing, Mineta didn't want to disturb his Dad. Not while the man's so close to a deadline. And two, if this was a treasure map; he'd want to keep it on the down low. Who knows who has a listening Quirk in this apartment block?

"Then again, they'd probably ignore me since I definitely gave them an earful of something gross at some point." Mineta thought, looking back at the magazine. If this really was an encoded directory to buried treasure, then it must be worth quite a bit. It could, of course, be a trick to waste people's time. Or a moral to teach kids the real treasure was the skills and friendship gained along the way.

But Mineta knew this was neither. The first page alone told him that, someone put the time to make a cipher that could only be seen at a specific angle. And it requires knowledge of a specific store to decode. So if anything, this had to be the legitimate article.

Unless it really is a trick by a person with WAY too much time on their hands.

"No way to find out unless I decipher the next page." Mineta mumbled as he turned the page. More scribbles were scattered about, even bleeding over to the third page. Whatever this message was, the shorter boy needed to consider how the double spread is factored into it.

"First things first, let's see if there is anything I recognize…" Mineta thought, studying the scribbles.

After an hour and a half of moving the magazine around, fiddling with the pages, and writing down translated codes, he's got it down. Mineta rolled his neck and stretched everything. Muscles were stiff, bones were clicking, and his eyes were tired. But was all this effort worth it? Mineta leaned in and began reading the message that he managed to dig up.

"Your next step lies in Musutafu Northern Commercial. Seek a new opportunity between the iceberg and garden buds…"

The shorter boy hit his head against the desk, realizing what was to be done next. With a long groan, he threw on some fresh clothes, packed his notes and the magazine into a small backpack, and quietly left home. He then went to the appropriate bus stop and caught a ride to his destination. And at least the trip wasn't boring, several people recognized him from the Sports Festival and gave him some hurrah.

But as much as he wanted to stay for the admiration, Mineta had arrived at his stop.

"Okay… New opportunity between the iceberg and garden buds… Then let's look for a flower shop and a… Hmmm... I'll just start with the flower shop first." He thought as he scratched his head. With a map of the area, Mineta began going in the direction of the closest Flower Shop.

One hour passed, then another. But as he traveled, scribbling notes and other thoughts into his book the same way Midoriya does, Mineta began to feel lost. Five flower shops and nothing next to them involved anything cold. There were fish markets, sushi restaurants, and ice cream stores. But there wasn't anything that would describe as 'garden buds' around them. So in his exhausted frustration, the shorter boy took a break.

"How do treasure hunters do it? How do they keep up this sort of thing for so long?" Mineta thought, back pressed into the bench. He reached over to his bag and pulled out his notes. There, he flipped to the page where a simple map with scribbles drawn onto it. This was the Mineta's drawing of the area, with symbols to denote the key locations.

But again, there was no connection that fits the riddle.

With another groan, Mineta put away the notebook and laid his body on the bench. Perhaps he should just toss it, seeing that if he was stuck now, the other steps would be impossible. But then, what if there really was a grand treasure at the end of it? Decisions, decisions… And not helping him was the fact that he was thirsty and slightly hungry.

"Should've eaten something before leaving… How much money did I bring with me?" Mineta thought as he looked into his wallet. The sound of brass bells stopped him, an odd sound at this time of year. And looking up, he saw a man in a Santa hat pushing a rather long cart around. As he stared, eyebrows scrunched up, he caught the name of the cart, A Wintery Visit. Mineta took his bag and got up; he had to see what this was about.

The man locked the wheels of his cart before opening up a small part of the cart, revealing an assortment of bottles, paper cones, and a control panel. He then opened a shutter on the rest of the cart, revealing a block of ice twice Mineta's height and width wedged in some kind of machine. And it only took a bit more studying to figure out what it did.

"Is this a lathe?" Mineta asked.

"That it is young man, built it and the whole cart myself." The man replied. Mineta stared at him before noting the different mechanisms attached to it. And the more he looked at it, the more unwieldy the thing appeared. Could someone actually use this thing for business without some sort of problem? Because the shorter boy isn't seeing how it wouldn't be. I mean, this is a lot of work for just shaved ice.

"Even with a special cart, lugging around this giant block wastes so much energy. I mean, that thing's practically an icebe–" Mineta began. He then stopped when he heard that keyword. Hang on, if this cart goes around the area with this massive chunk of ice... Is there a point where it would be close to one of the flowers shops? The shorter boy looked to the man, who began operating his stand with deft precision.

"Your next stop wouldn't happen to be around Jade Paradise down that way is it?" Mineta asked, gesturing in the direction of the nearest flower shop. The man simply nodded before handing Mineta a card. Upon looking at it, he could find the business hours and locations of his cart there. And he was in luck, in an hour, A Wintery Visit would come by that store.

With a bow of thanks, Mineta ran on ahead and waited next to the store. He was simply going to sit there and wait for something to appear. It would be boring, waiting for an hour for the cart to roll by. But at least there was no way for the shorter boy to miss the 'new opportunity'. And after occupying his mind with ideas from both halves of his mind, the time of reckoning was upon him.

Mineta focused on his surroundings and who was present. As his eyes swept his surroundings, he found a woman who was handing out fliers. A woman he was certain wasn't there until now. He quickly approached her and she handed him a flier with a smile. Mineta nodded with a bow and walked off, looking at the paper in his hands.

Only to find the whole thing was printed in English. And while the shorter boy had a decent grasp of the language, he couldn't recognize half the words. Especially not when this flier has words crammed into every last centimeter of space the paper could offer. The back was more sensible, having a very trimmed down version of the front. But this design was completely atrocious.

"Is this the 'new opportunity'? How am I supposed to get a new clue from this?" Mineta thought, studying the paper intently.

"What're looking at Mineta?"

The shorter boy jumped as he moved away from the sudden voice next to him. But upon looking at who it was, he immediately relaxed. It was just Kaminari. Still, not cool to sneak up on him.

"Dude, what the Hell?" Mineta asked, glaring at him.

"Sorry, sorry, but it seemed like a good time to scare you. Anyway, what's with the flier? It's a mess of English." Kaminari asked with an apologetic smile.

"It's a long story…"

"I like stories."

Mineta sighed and pointed at a nearby restaurant for the two to discuss it. Kaminari nodded and the two went there without a word. And once being seated, Mineta started from the beginning by first taking out the magazine they've founded. He then explained how he studied it for the Hell of it and found a puzzle inside. And after translating the first message, he began working on the second puzzle. He would show him his book and the several pages of notes he made. And finally, he presented the flier as some kind of clue to the next riddle.

"Dude, that's actually crazy." Kaminari said, hand on his chin.

"I know… But seeing how there was something to this, I'm willing to bet this treasure is real." Mineta replied, eating some French fries he ordered.

"And the only way to get to the next step is to decipher this mess?" Kaminari asked, tapping the flier that was on the table. The shorter boy nodded as he took a sip from his soda. The electric blonde stared at the flier, something dancing within the gold of his eyes. He then looked up and gestured to Mineta's book and pen. Without delay, Mineta pushed the notebook and pen to his friend. Did he have something?

Kaminari flipped to a blank page and began tracing his finger across the words on the flier. He then began writing certain words into the notebook, crossing out the corresponding words from the flier. He kept doing this until he had a rather large collection of words. And rather than keeping them all in the same group, he organized them in their own… Categories? Mineta wasn't sure why Kaminari was separating them the way he was, but it had to be important.

Or was it?

"Hey, uh, what are you doing exactly?" Mineta asked.

"This whole thing is full of words from an old poem, specifically The Waste Land by T.S. Elliot. Whoever planned this must be cultured to all Hell." Kaminari replied, still writing down words. The shorter boy flinched back as he stared at his friend, who continued with his work. Why was it that he knew about an ancient poet?

"I wrote an essay on it in middle school. Could've gotten a perfect grade too if I just used other people's quotes and not my personal opinion." Kaminari answered as though he read Mineta's mind. Though that only caused another question to pop up in the shorter boy's head. Mainly, why did he specifically choose to write about an ancient poet?

"If you read The Waste Land, you'll find that it's a depressing cesspool poem. It talks about how the world sucks and there is nothing you can do to change it. But I feel that's wrong and I cited the world around us as proof. Things went from chaos to order once Heroes started showing their stuff. It's why I wanted to be a Hero, to help make sure things don't become that wasteland." Kaminari explained, eyes still on the flier.

Mineta's expression softened as he watched his friend work. What a strange reason to become a Hero. He, Midoriya, and Iida are following in the footsteps of someone they admire. Uraraka was planning to look after her parents. But there was something about hearing a person work to prevent all those bad scenarios found in fiction. And it honestly made Kaminari seem much more than a bumbling idiot with hidden genius. It was as though he was becoming a protagonist of one of those stories.

And in the age of Quirks, perhaps that's not such a bad thing.

"Alright, I'm done combing. A lot of them belonged to Eliot's Waste Land. The ones that don't are either repeats or were never in it. I even organized them in the order they appear." Kaminari said, pushing the notebook back to Mineta. The shorter boy snapped out of his thoughts and looked at what was marked. While it was still in English, they were short and simple enough for him to read it.

"North and South… Once was one but now away in more than two… And though they oppose, they be bound by forces greater than blood…" He read out loud. Mineta looked up to see Kaminari munching on his pile of fries, face completely blank. And looking back at the riddle, the shorter boy could understand his friend's cluelessness.

"You and me both, this is cryptic. Kind of makes me wonder if this is worth the trouble…" Mineta said, leaning back into his seat.

"It has to be; otherwise they wouldn't go through all this trouble. Come on dude, we're Heroes in Training. We're not going to let someone's riddles get to us just because they're hard. Like, what if we had to deal with a Villain who leaves stuff like this laying around?" Kaminari asked.

"Didn't someone do that a long time ago?" Mineta asked.

"I don't know, but I'm not letting them get away just because they're smart enough to fool everyone. Now let's break this code." Kaminari replied before going back to the riddle. The shorter boy stared at the electric blonde and felt his motivation climbing again. He was right. If Mineta wanted easy, than he wouldn't be on the path he was on now.

So, with his back straightened, Mineta went on with his search for the secret of the magazine.


And that was Chapter 36.

When I first introduced the magazine way back in Chapter 17, it was supposed to be inconsequential. Then I had a brilliant idea one day and thus, the treasure hunt was born.

"Mmmm, I do love me some booty."

And like I said in the previous chapter, this will just be a simple side quest. It won't bear too much on the main story and will simply serve to provide some extra character moments. That is unless I come up with another 'brilliant' idea and give our idiots something to do. But that is something for future me to worry about. However, what do you, my dear readers, think of this silly little game?

"Well I know I like the idea."

But that's just you. Any how, I do hope you're all doing well out there. The world maybe in a crazy place, especially the US... But I'll still be here to provide you with your biweekly dose of nonsense. So stay strong everyone and stay tuned for the misadventures of our favorite dirty little dirt baby.

Until Next Time. T1.