Apologies for the late update, but right now, I'm on vacation! Barely managed to grab some net for this update, and I probably won't be able to write as much while I'm abroad. This update will be the last in a while, I'm afraid. Hopefully, this will be able to tide you over.
Enjoy!
*A Dinner, A Dedication and A Dream*
I wasn't sure how long I spent staring into space, my mind vacant. The cool breeze of the desert night was not nearly as refreshing as it was before. The idea of Jurgen genuinely, truly being lost to me came as such a blow that I couldn't think of anything.
"Sensei? What's wrong?"
I couldn't answer her. I was lost in my thoughts, and hearing words from inside my mind did little to distract me.
"Cain Sensei."
It was only when I felt a tug on my elbow and heard my name that I was finally brought back to reality. I looked to see Hoshino at my side, staring forlornly yet without a hint of judgment in her eyes.
"What do you want us to do now?"
It was then I remembered that I was ostensibly still leading a bunch of students who were now witnessing their leader undergo the beginnings of a breakdown. I looked back to see all of them looking at me similarly distressed.
What a disgrace. Here I was, losing myself in front of those who needed me at my best. Instead of celebrating our victory, exhausted yet basking in the glory of another day won, my illogical, emotionally charged demand to let our enemies go when we had them dead to rights and even begging to offer us information had significantly set us back
Back in the Imperium, I might have been sent to the firing line already for such a mistake. I would have deserved it. I've shot men for such life-threatening incompetence, and unlike the usual impulsiveness of the commissar to indulge in disciplinary execution, it was not without reason. It was only great fortune that these girls were not nearly so harsh.
"Ayane. Status of the hostiles?"
She let out a startled yelp at suddenly being addressed, then checked once more. "They've left the area. No more activity detected."
"Good enough." I turned to address my squad, looks of unease on all of their faces. "Shiroko? Serika? Are you alright?" They took enough lead to turn a squad of guardsmen into unidentifiable body parts. Sure the characteristic durability of haloed students and Ayane's timely medical drop meant that they were mostly just dusty at this point, but it paid to show a modicum of care for your troops.
"We're OK, Sensei." Serika wiped her face to clear a bit more of the dirt out. She already looked much better.
"We're fine thanks to you," Shiroko finished for her, firm and full of gratitude.
"It was luck, really." Who knows what would have happened if those idiots hadn't paused their barrage just to lob a bomb bag out? I'm not sure if unloading every bang and frag I had would be enough to turn the tide. "You've all done well today. You may all return home. If you all need a ride to the train station or your houses, I will provide. I shall remain in the academy."
Another attack was unlikely, but somebody would need to watch over it anyway, and just for tonight, I was perfectly content with being on my own.
"Heck no."
Hoshino's firm declaration had me turning my head, a sentiment echoed by the rest of the group.
"We can't just leave protecting our academy to an outsider, can we?" Serika chided with her usual roundabout concern.
"It just makes more sense for us to defend it together." Shiroko pointed out.
"Besides, we can't just leave you alone."
Nonomi, motherly and affectionate as ever, finished with simple words of concern. What a thing. I shook my head. "Very well. That's your choice."
I don't know if the others were talking or not as we made our way back to the academy. I drove with a sense of detachment, aware of my surroundings and where I was bringing us, while tuning out everything from inside the car.
Once we arrived, Ayane was there to greet us in front of the building with her usual assuring smile. "Welcome back everyone. You did great."
"Yo Ayane," Hoshino said with a grin. "Feeling a bit hungry. Let's get some food in our bellies before we get down to business, yeah?"
"I have no objections to that," she answered with a small chuckle. "We can debrief over dinner, Cain Sensei. We'd like to rest."
Look at them. Trying to give me time on my own without me having to ask for it. A blind man could've seen something was wrong, but it took tact and empathy to do something about it without being overt. I gratefully accepted their effort. "We break until dinner time. Until then, rest."
We then split off to head to our rooms to convalesce until dinner. I assumed the rest of the girls would grab a phone and order something quick and easy so we could debrief over a casual supper.
So it was that I was left in the classroom, sitting at a desk, alone with my thoughts once again.
"Sensei? What's wrong?"
In a manner of speaking. After all, whether I wanted it or not, Arona was almost always in my thoughts. Much as I wanted time to myself, to reproach her now after her massive contributions to our effort would make me an even bigger fool than I already was, and I refused to disgrace Jurgen by acting that way in his name.
"Nothing to do with you," I answered honestly. "You were tremendously helpful today. Thank you."
Of course Arona wasn't able to contribute as much in the past few days. We'd been facing nothing but random chaff off the streets, little better than particularly hardy hive-criminals with guns. Her true value was revealed when we had enemies of value. Real-time analysis of the enemy's powers would be incredibly helpful for prolonged battles against powerful foes. Intel was as good as the Emperor's gold on the battlefield, and she could provide. My improvised strategy to neutralize Haruka came entirely from her abilities.
"You're welcome. That's what I'm supposed to do." She'd probably respond on a regular day, but she couldn't help but feel glum. "I wish I could help you now. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"You will hear it when everyone else does. And that will be soon," I promised her. Likely tonight, if I had any guess. She and the rest of the girls deserved to know the cause of my illogical decisions.
"OK," she said, and I could feel that she felt a little better at my promise. "I'll leave you alone then."
As she faded away from my mind, I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, grateful for her consideration.
Jurgen had been at my side for countless years now. He was almost always there, a sturdy, reliable rock, always willing to serve and follow my orders to the letter. Despite his awful hygiene, his unbearable odor and his straightforward and oftentimes literal way of thinking, I much preferred the times he was there. I was always assured by his presence, knowing that no matter what the galaxy threw at me, I would have someone who believed and followed me without question at my back, ready to fight it alongside me.
And now, he wasn't here. And I would have to endure without him.
I mulled over that realization, not knowing what to think, until my thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of my phone. I grimaced in surprise, reaching for my pocket and opening it up.
It was a message from Ayane, calling me for dinner in the club room. Well, we had our first meal there, why not do it again?
I stood up, took off my cap and greatcoat and left the room, leaving recollections of my aid behind for the temporary reprieve of a dinner.
When I arrived in the Foreclosure Task Force's club room, I was expecting a meager spread. Perhaps a few boxes of the quickest meal they could call for.
I didn't expect a feast. An extravagant arrangement of rice bowls, various meat dishes and more, with proper serving dishes for all. Such was the size of the feast that the group pooled together several desks from other classrooms to accommodate them.
"Surprise, Sensei!" Hoshino said cheerfully. "We ordered a victory feast for you!"
"More like Nonomi ordered it, you freeloader," Serika admonished her president.
"She ordered it…?" I replied in wary askance. "So she paid for it entirely? How?"
"Don't worry Sensei, I have money to spare!" She reached for her wallet to show me. Instead of the mountain of bills I was expecting, I was blinded by golden light.
Was that a credit card? Then why was it glowing like it was carved from the Golden Throne and blessed by the Emperor Himself?!
"Yeah, common reaction to her credit card," Hoshino chuckled even as I could see her squint. "Let's just say that she has an incredibly high spending limit and leave it at that."
"She's a little too willing to spend for us," Ayane said with a nervous laugh. "You kind of took over for her for the past few days, so she was eager to spend this time."
"Don't worry, I'm way below my limit!" She assured us. A little too willing, indeed.
"Let's not let it get close to that…" Serika gulped. "Anyway, we can eat now, Sensei."
"Have as much as you like," Shiroko said. "We know how much you eat and exercise after all, and you did really well today."
I had to suppress a wince. Right. My budding reputation as a very… enthusiastic… gourmand. "We'll see how it goes," I mused. "We can ration that food out, if we feel the need…"
"Oh right, you're weird enough that you like to bring the extra food to your room and eat on your own," Hoshino mused with a grin. Which unfortunately, I felt obligated to do. Arona certainly deserved something extra for tonight for her work. "Sure Sensei. We can do that."
If she wanted to play that game, fine. "We can also blame the attack on the school today on you," I answered with a crinkled smile. "At least Serika wasn't the one blown up this time."
"HEY!" The table erupted into laughter at the surprised reaction of Hoshino actually acting like a proper president this morning, however temporary that was. Even the victimized president joined in with a chuckle of her own. "Oh FINE. See if I bother to use my head if this is how you act when I do."
"Please do," Ayane suddenly said, desperately not wanting more unneeded madness in their group. "I need you to act more responsibly…"
As we sat down and they started to begin unpacking the food, I raised my hand.
"Wait."
They all stopped immediately at the firmness in my voice, instantly understanding that what would follow was important.
"What is it, Sensei?"
Shiroko's earnest question made my decision to stop putting off what I wanted to do next all the more justified. "My demand to release our enemies even though they had information vital to our activities was unreasonable. With your school in the precarious state that it is, I still was the catalyst for another setback. For that, I apologize."
My forthright contrition was initially met with silence as I prepared to receive their judgment. I was quite surprised when the only reaction were gentle smiles of assurance and comfort from all of them.
"It's alright, Sensei. You did OK."
The acceptance from Hoshino, the one who was most keenly invested in the school and deserved more than anyone to scorn my mistake, was not a reaction I expected. "We're putting a lot of pressure on you. Our school is still here because you fight so hard for us, just like today. It's OK if you screw up once in a while."
"Besides, you didn't set us back as much as you think, Sensei," Ayane assured me. "I think by tomorrow I should finish analyzing the parts we retrieved from our previous fights with the Helmet Gang." Well, that did assure me immensely, and I could feel my guilt ease somewhat.
"Nonomi, Shiroko and I screwed up today too," Serika said glumly. "If we were smarter, we would've connected the dots, gave you a heads-up, maybe even stopped the whole thing. So we can't exactly judge you either."
Right, that happened. "Well, given your track record with pyramid schemes, I guess that's to be expected…."
"HEY, no need to emphasize that!"
"As for the rest…" I valiantly ignored her. "Better vigilance can be practiced. Let us better ourselves and make sure our mistakes won't happen again"
"You're right about that," Shiroko answered firmly. "We'll do better."
"We appreciate the apology, but what we really want is for you to tell us why it happened."
Nonomi's final request summed up the general sentiment among the students. They burned with restrained curiosity, and they deserved to be satisfied.
I nodded, filling myself up with water. It was no tongue-loosening amasec, but if nothing else, it would keep my throat from being dry as I talked.
I put down my empty glass as my audience waited for my answer with bated breath. I couldn't help but smile. This is probably the most excited anyone would ever be to hear about Jurgen. Might as well do my best in telling the tale.
"I mentioned before that I had an aide to do my cooking," I began. That such an offhanded detail would become so significant definitely caught their attention.
Hoshino snapped her fingers as she remembered. "Oh yeah, you did say that back in our first ramen run…"
"What's an aide anyway?" Serika asked. "Is he like a butler or something?"
I tried to imagine my malodorous companion as a butler, dressed in black pants and coattails, gloved in white and kitted out with the elegant clothes of the high-class. The image was so ridiculously inappropriate that I couldn't help but suppress a laugh. Partially. I let some of the humorous effects of the suggestion show, with a tiny chuckle leaving my mouth instead of the undignified howling that I was sorely tempted to let out. My expression made Serika react defensively once again. "What's so funny?!"
"Well, he does good work, but a butler's clothes would not fit him at all." And Jurgen already never fit in the rugged clothes of a soldier. He never fit anything he wore. How much more with something so antithetical to his… state of being? "Not when he's the kind of man who finds a sandwich forgotten in the folds of his uniform for who knows how long and considers it an acceptable meal."
The vivid image drew looks of discomfort and disgust from the girls. Shiroko and Hoshino had more muted reactions, Nonomi winced, Ayane looked quite ill and Serika blanched. "Gross! You rely on this guy to make your food?!"
"He knew how to wash well enough," I clarified. Which was already more than enough where he was concerned. "To explain, an aide is an assistant to a high-ranking officer. He helped do my paperwork. He helped to keep people away if it wasn't important. And he fought by my side on the battlefield."
"He did your chores and fought beside you?" Nonomi's eyes sparkled. "Wow, he kind of sounds like a sidekick!"
I ruminated on the idea and it was remarkably close. If I had my way with the vids, that would be him. Cain and Jurgen, side by side fighting the enemies of mankind. The idea was accurate and miles more tolerable than the dreck that came out. "That sounds about right. He was the person who I could count on to follow me to hell and back no matter what. My best man on the battlefield."
"His name was Jurgen. Gunner Ferrik Jurgen."
The description was enough to leave everyone hungry for more details. I smiled and stayed silent, waiting for them to ask questions. And fortunately Shiroko zoomed into the very detail I needed.
Shiroko spoke up first, zoning in on the very detail I wanted. "A gunner… So it's a military rank?"
"The equivalent of a private in an artillery regiment," Ayane explained.
"Correct, Okusora," I said approvingly, very deliberately sounding less like a military tutor, and more a teacher for a younger audience, so to speak. My little play was enough to paint her cheeks red, which was something which brought grins out of everyone. "My very first official mission as a commissar was actually in an artillery regiment, and Jurgen was posted there." Just remembering that day was enough to get me into a theatrical mood, so I decided to play it up, paraphrasing words I wrote for the masses, the only words of truth in the frak I jotted down for them. "It was the mission that changed my life forever."
I had them now, naked, undisguised interest on all of their faces. Interest enough that a little pause to regather myself wasn't unwarranted, especially since that was time I could use to make things vaguer than they needed to be.
I planned to tell them about Jurgen. I did not plan to tell her about the tyranids. Unhygienic as he was, he was still infinitely more preferable than the all-consuming hordes of the Hive Fleet.
"Jurgen was the first person I met when I got there. I didn't have a good impression of him when I did. Due to various skin conditions and poor hygiene," and possibly his existence as a blank manifesting an aura that repelled people as much as warpcraft, though I doubted Jurgen needed such mundane things as being anathema to the Immaterium to project his unpalatable bouquet, "I smelled him before I saw him. His odor was indescribably awful. Saying it was like something vomited and died in its own bile is selling that short."
"I don't even want to imagine that…" The girls all had looks of disgust or discomfort on them, but Nonomi had it the worst.
I nodded in agreement. "Trust me, you don't. If I was lucky, his odor would be the worst thing I would face. After all, I was handling artillery. That meant we were at long-range, behind the cover of several very big guns." The very reason I chose an artillery regiment, of course. "The unit I was assigned to was quite disciplined. Mostly well-behaved, with the few defaulters only committing minor infractions. Perhaps the commissariat were taking it easy on a rookie commissar." The very fake reason I fed to old Colonel Mostrue, bless his suspicious soul.
"All this meant that I was under the impression that my days as a commissar would be uneventful." I said in an easy tone.
"I was wrong. Dead wrong."
The shift in my voice had them leaning forward like children on storytelling night. "Just when we were finished with mopping up our foes, we lost contact with the bulk of our forces. As it turned out, a much bigger gathering of our enemies was heading our way." Orks and tyranids could hardly be called "allies", but enemies of mankind they both were. "I advised the unit to make what preparations we could, including evacuating the populace." And if I could help it - me.
"Before we could fully prepare, however, we were attacked. They came down on us from the sky. We lost a few in the initial attack, but held fast." Beyond my expectations, because I thought that was the main force at first. "I wanted to check on the evacuees," in hopes of joining them, "and I asked Jurgen to drive me there because he was the first one in the vehicles." And he nearly brained me with a lasgun when I tripped onto him, but you know that old jibe: You were never truly friends until you wanted to or tried to kill each other at least once, and I was tempted to use my chainsword on him that day.
The thought filled me with regret. Goodness, I was an awful young man, wasn't I?
I put that thought aside and continued on. "He obeyed without question, and his faith," and my cowardice, "allowed us to stumble upon the enemy's actual main attacking force."
"Dang!" Hoshino whistled in unbridled surprise and anticipation. "How did you get out of that one alive?!"
"Three reasons," I began, raising three fingers and then putting one down as I listed off the first one. "That first attack was a diversion, remember? They weren't enough to distract all our forces." Down came the second. "Our forces being, of course, heavy artillery. Which also included anti-air auto cannons that could be used as anti-infantry in a pinch, which our enemy was mercifully mostly composed of." And hive tyrants could be armored, but enough large caliber bullets were enough to render that moot.
I paused smiling as I waited for them to ask. "Go on, what was the last one?"
"What else?" I said as I closed my hand and put it back on the table. "It was Jurgen."
"When we met the enemy force, I immediately ordered him to retreat while I called to warn the regiment." Practically screamed like a baby out of his mother's womb when I did that, but I did warn them. "He was an incredible driver, and managed to turn our vehicle practically on a coin as we headed back. To illustrate just how hard that is, imagine making a Crusader tank drift in such a way."
"Wow. He DOES sound amazing."
That was exactly what I wanted to hear from her about Jurgen, and I continued on proudly. "Sadly, our vehicle wasn't made for such maneuvers, and broke down a minute or so later, and we were forced to get out and run for it. He was about to get torn apart by our enemies, and so I saved him by fending off his attacker with my chainsword." They didn't need to know the results of that little maneuver. "In return, he shot someone else trying to go for me."
I had to pause as I reflected on that. What actually happened was that when he went down, I was ready and willing to leave him to be eviscerated by the hormagaunt that was bearing down on him, when I saw a hive tyrant up ahead and decided to go back for him.
I was so willing to abandon him when I first met him. The idea became unthinkable over our many years together. And now, here I was, centuries later, mourning over the fact that he wasn't here with me.
I… was a better man because of him.
"Cain Sensei?"
The sudden prodding from Hoshino brought me back to reality, and I shook my head, quickly looking for an excuse. "Sorry, it's just…" I sighed. "It was close. Deathly close. I still have nightmares about that sometimes." And it was true. A swarm of voracious bioforms bearing down on us really did give me night terrors for years after that, and it was a little sad that frights of that kind only decreased because they were replaced by more unspeakable horrors in the years to follow. "We were about to be overrun and torn apart, until our allies managed to come in just in time to save us all with a timely barrage of cannon fire, just as I requested."
"The whole thing sounds like crap, but after the past few days I find it way more believable," Serika admitted. And well it should. After kicking out hordes of gangers, rescuing under the cover of the very gun that knocked her out and then getting into another gang war just an hour or so ago, I should hope it didn't sound too unbelievable.
"I can definitely believe it. Did you see Sensei fight a while ago?" The discomfiting shine in her eyes returned. "It was amazing. I can definitely believe him surviving something like that."
"It sounds like something out of a book or a novel!" Nonomi said, clapping her hands with glee. I refrained from telling that much of that was very inaccurately recollected in my poorly written public memoirs. And I suppose my more candid writings for Amberly's sake, if you could call that ungodly mishmash of recollections a book, counted. The less people knew about either of them, the better.
"So what happened next?" Hoshino prodded me on.
"Well, in recognition of my bravery and as a sign of acceptance by the senior officers, I was given an aide to help me in my endeavors, and of course, the first volunteer was the one they picked. And who else would it be but Jurgen?"
It was a gesture by Mostrue to make my life inconvenient by assigning the smelliest, most unwanted man in the regiment to me. Instead, I gained an irreplaceable boon companion.
If ever the Emperor blessed me with anything, perhaps Jurgen was the first he ever did. And maybe that was enough, for the lifetime he devoted to me afterwards.
"Afterwards, he never left my side if he could help it." Nostalgia overcame me as memories of him flowed through me. "I learned a lot about him over the years. He was a stoic man who could face almost any crisis with a cool head. He was endlessly proud of his position as my aide, and stubbornly refused to allow anyone else the privilege of serving me. A literal, straightforward thinker who didn't know how to tell or take a joke. His driving was equally straightforward, ignorant of the rules of the road or what he would plow through to get to our destination, but you could count on him to get you there in one very shaken piece. A crack shot, able to light a tank on fire by hitting its fuel tank from far away. An expert scrounger that could find anything you needed."
I paused in my recollection of describing him, and I looked to see the girls seeming quite endeared by how much I told them of him.
"He was a really great friend to you, wasn't he, Cain-Sensei?" Hoshino said rhetorically, a strange melancholy twinkle in her eye.
"The finest a man could ask for," I said, without a hint of falsity.
As I basked in the truth of that statement, the inevitable burning question on everyone's minds came next.
"So what happened to him?" she said, bracing herself for the answer.
It would be easy to say he was dead. I'd practically set it up without meaning to.
But then I saw the look on her face. And distressingly, it was horrifyingly familiar.
How many times had I counseled soldiers with the same haunted look on that face after battles when they lost their treasured friends? How many times had I seen it when they were ready and willing to put a comforting hand around their comrades in grief to ease their pain?
Why did she have the kind of eyes that only appeared on those that experienced the death of those close to them?
I changed my mind then. I refused to use Jurgen to deceive her and potentially hurt her when she found out I didn't quite share the same pain as her. It would be a disservice to cause someone such unneeded pain in his name.
Plus, it meant I didn't have to pretend he was dead. A galaxy without the man would be a darker place, and I'd scarcely believe he'd be so lost as to die just a few days after I did. He already wasn't here. Pretending he was lost to the galaxy was something I'd rather not think about.
"When I was requested by the President to come here, it was very sudden," I told them, trying to paint a semi-accurate picture of the circumstances that brought me here without ever saying that I died. "I couldn't bring much or prepare much. And it was decided that it would be better if Jurgen wasn't around. Despite how I might look now, I unfortunately agree."
And I thought bitterly that that might well be the case. If these girls had warp powers as I expected, every firefight we had would have become far more lethal as these girls were stripped of the invaluable protections that kept them as innocent as they could be.
So much the better. Between the students and me, I knew that he would be willing to fire on and kill these girls without a doubt for my sake, especially if I asked him. But he was a good man, and the act would have burned itself into his heart and soul. I wouldn't want that for him.
Little surprise that Hoshino wouldn't be so accepting of leaving a treasured friend behind. "Why would you say that?"
I decided to be far blunter. "That's not my secret to tell."
It was a gentle warning, but it was enough to dissuade the girls from asking any more questions, which I was thankful for. I then moved on to the events of today.
"I didn't realize this posting would be so permanent," I continued honestly. "I'd been so busy the past few days that I couldn't focus on it all, but when I saw that those girls were as willing to sacrifice themselves for each other as we were, I was reminded of him… And it sunk into me that we probably won't see each other again."
No more questions came after that. I let out a tired sigh as I faced them again.
"There's something else you have to know," I began regretfully. "I've accomplished a lot of things alongside a lot of people. Many of us got our accolades, and I was lauded as a hero. But because of the way he was, Jurgen wasn't."
"What?!" Serika slammed her hands on the table, outraged at the unfairness. "How could they do that to him?!"
"Maybe it was his odor, or the fact that he generally wasn't very good with people." Or perhaps the effects of him being a blank, or perhaps Amberly trying to keep him out of the spotlight. I wouldn't begrudge her that too much. It kept him safe, or safer at any rate. The idea that Jurgen would be safer on Imperial Guard battlefronts at my side was ludicrous when I first heard it. Subsequent experience with other inquisitors justified that idea, one of the many thoughts she had. "Point is, people tend to forget he existed. He never minded. But it wasn't right." It was supremely unjust that a fraud like me became a Hero of the Imperium when the greater champion was at my side, unsung and unknown. I made sure to give Jurgen his due in Amberly's eyes, and anyone she thought to show. So long as even a few more souls knew how great he was, that would go a small way towards repaying him.
"But you know him now. So make sure you remember him. My aide, Ferrik Jurgen."
"We will, Sensei," Shiroko swore to me.
"Gunner Ferrik Jurgen, huh?" Serika nodded to me in earnest. "We'll keep him in mind."
All this melodrama was getting a little heavy, so I grinned and decided to end on a lighter note. "I should probably correct you there. It's Gunner First Class."
Ayane's head tilted in confusion. "But didn't you say his rank was Gunner? I don't think I've ever heard of a Gunner First Class before."
"You're right. I made it up to make things easier for him whenever he needed to get me anything."
"You just made it up?!" Ayane gawked at my incredibly bold abuse of authority. "And nobody questioned that?!"
My lips turned up even more in conspiratorial pride. "Not many people will question a commissar, after all."
"Haha, Sensei can be pretty cheeky when he needs to be!" Hoshino's spirits finally rose back to her normal casual demeanor. "Think you could do the same for us whenever we need to grease the wheels of bureaucracy or whatever?"
"Oh HELL no!" Serika cried out at her President's suggestion. "We don't need Sensei supporting whatever stupid ideas you could think of!"
Shiroko's eyes glazed over as she stared at the ceiling, the gears of her mind whirling in a manner that could only be disturbing. "Sensei's authority… I wonder if…"
"NO!" Ayane immediately screamed as she brought her arms down on the eccentric wolf girl's shoulders. "Whatever you're thinking, drop that right NOW!"
"But-"
"I said NO!"
"Ah." Shiroko's ears drooped, cowed as she was by her junior's terrifying outburst. "OK then…" It wasn't, but Ayane didn't need to know that. I could already imagine her thinking of extrajudicially-approved robbery. Nice try, wolf girl, but there won't be any bank robbing on my watch if I can help it.
"Now then, the food might get cold if we keep talking, so why not put our mouths to better use and keep on eating it?"
We made the customary giving of thanks before the meal as plates and chopsticks were passed around for our use, and soon we were partaking of the meal.
It was a fine feast, and despite the heavy discussion and the filling of my belly, my soul and spirit were just a bit lighter from talking about Jurgen. I could finally enjoy our meal and our victory, and that was good enough.
In the spirit of unity, once again, all of us were staying at school. In consideration for the trials I faced today, the girls insisted I take the first shower and take an early rest. Despite the tempting offer, I turned it down, not out of my usual inclination to strengthen my heroic image, but because I had a feeling that I wouldn't be turning in early no matter how much I was ready for it. I merely told them I had a lot to think about and let them have their turn at the shower.
They were initially looking at me with unneeded sympathy, until they saw the food that I was bringing back to my room. It was a painful but effective cover that got them to stop asking questions.
As much as my reputation as a glutton was one I didn't want built up under any circumstance, it made for a good excuse to deflect prying eyes as I withdrew to my quarters with a feast big enough to blow up my gut. Obviously, it wasn't for me, but the ravenous AI with me.
"Wow Sensei, all this stuff is for me?!" She whooped inside my head.
"For a job well done today," I answered her as I took a seat. "Enjoy it."
"I sure will!" The entire arrangement then disappeared from my hands, and I checked the oceanic classroom of the Schittm Chest to find that she had willed everything to appear on individual tables, ready for her to consume at her leisure. To my surprise though, she didn't immediately attack it like a rabid hormagaunt, instead addressing me in a tender voice of thought. "It was good hearing you talk about your friend Sensei. Thanks for telling all of us about him."
I didn't expect her to delay her meal for my sake. The oddity of her "talking" without moving her mouth to ensure secrecy also meant she was taking my desire for her concealment quite seriously, and I appreciated the consideration if nothing else. "It was therapeutic to do so. Not many people like to hear about him, so it was a novel experience."
"He sounds like a fun guy. I would've liked to meet him!"
I wonder how that would have gone. Would his warp repelling aura affect her as well? Would she be immune to his more "unpleasant qualities" by virtue of being, well, virtual, or would her own unique existence mean she would experience them as much as anyone else?
At the very least, I'm sure she wouldn't forget Jurgen like anyone else would, one way or another.
"I'm sure he would've liked to meet all of you too." As much as he'd want to meet anyone, I suppose. If these girls treated him right, he'd be just as dedicated to helping them out. I do remember him shrinking into himself in embarrassed pride when Felicia called him a cog. Out of anyone, the Abydos girls would most definitely appreciate his hard work. Then again, being desert girls, they'd also experience the worst of his bouquet. So overall, nullifying their life-saving warp powers notwithstanding, slightly better than most people.
"You should tell more of these stories," she suggested excitedly. "You're good at telling them and I'm sure everyone would like to learn more about you!"
"If I find the motivation," I answered noncommittally, wanting to keep as little of my past revealed as possible, yet understanding that she was right all the same. If it would allow me to connect to them or encourage them, I might spin a tale or two. Her compliments of my narrative prowess were also rather amusing. Hopefully, Amberley would be just as taken. "Dig into your meal. It might get cold if you leave it out for long, and make sure to give everything back to me once you're done."
"Hehe, don't mind if I do!"
With my encouragement, she dove into her meal. After the first few seconds of listening to her eat, which sounded unpleasantly like a horde of tyranids gorging upon their unfortunate quarry, I immediately cut off my link to focus on other thoughts, most of them on Problem Solver 68.
I really couldn't understand their treatment. Our mysterious backer clearly had money to burn, so why did they treat their new fixers like disposable cannon fodder? Aru's insistent answer to my backhanded question was proven right: They WERE worth more than all of the other goons thrown at us put together. So why weren't they given the proper tools to finish us off? Were they trying to be more hands off to hide their tracks? Even if they were a backup plan in case the first group of Helmet Gangers was dealt with, the fact that they didn't give them extra money or supplies meant the masterminds could be just as bureaucratically idiotic as the Munitorium at its worst could be.
And then there was the group itself. Or more specifically, their leader. Aru reminded me uncomfortably of myself. Or rather, a cringeworthy version of my past self, my current youth notwithstanding. If I had managed to successfully dupe the entire galaxy into thinking I was a hero, she was desperately trying and failing to live up to the image of some pict-drama outlaw.
The difference was that she actually wanted that trashy image and all the work that entailed. While I was basically thrown into the commissar life and basically played it by ear for the past two centuries, she was willingly chasing this ridiculous dream for herself, and despite her obvious failures, she managed to gather a small band of friends willing to deal with her nonsense, and one of them was fanatically loyal to her.
Why were they so dedicated, so willing to put up with her, despite how much trouble she obviously puts them all through?
Thoughts of that nature swirled in my mind until I heard a knock on my door.
"Sensei? Hoshino here."
So it was my turn at the showers then? Grand. I looked around to see that Arona had indeed followed my instructions and materialized everything I gave her once more. I sighed at the misunderstanding that would follow before I answered. "Coming."
I walked up to the door and opened it. To my surprise, I didn't see the experienced senior in pajamas, but instead she was still kitted out in her usual outfit. "You haven't taken a bath yet?"
"Wanted to check on you first before I did." She peeked inside and whistled. "Damn, you destroyed that spread already. Did the stress really get to you today?"
The mixed concern and amusement in her voice meant that I couldn't even try to put up a riposte against her teasing. I merely weathered the "enlarging" of my other reputation and gave a fairly honest reply. "It was trying, to be sure."
"Are you up for a bit of exercise then?"
An unusual request. I raised my eyes. "You want to leave in the middle of the night?"
"Not for too long. Just get us to the city and walk around, you know?"
A simple night walk? I was about to ask why when I remembered the sobering look on her face, and realized that this was as much for her sake as it was for mine.
"I suppose the night air might do both of us good."
Hoshino was quiet throughout the whole journey, content to stare outside, until she told me to park in one of the intersections towards the center of the district. We silently exited the car, the breeze of the desert night now finally pleasant to feel, warmed as I was by the protective layer of my greatcoat. I was about to ask where she wanted to go when she merely walked onward, as if guided by a trance. I followed her without saying a word.
"Things almost look like they're back to normal around here," She said offhandedly as we walked through the city. I looked around in response, trying to gauge what that was like. It was indeed livelier than I remembered it being last night. More buildings had lights on, and I could see more abhumans walking about the town. Serika's account of her very productive shift seemed to imply that our efforts have encouraged the people of the city to become more active again, and that seemed to extend to the night life as well.
If this was almost normal, that didn't bode too well for the city's future. But it was better than before, so it was a start. "Certainly has more atmosphere to it," I answered in return.
"It ain't the most popular place around, but it's home," she agreed with quiet fondness. "Seeing it brighten up for a day longer is always a win in my book."
An attitude that I could agree with, even if only a little. Surviving another campaign, another battle, another day, even another second longer was a goal I always strived for. Sometimes, you had to take what victories you could.
We walked for a little bit longer after that, seemingly taking random winding paths through the streets until we ended up somewhere rather surprising.
"You worked really hard today, so I wanted to give you a little treat to show my appreciation."
Or rather, it was surprising in how mundane it really was.
It was the convenience store Serika worked in. We went inside, much to the surprise of the couple who worked there.
"Oh, it's the Sensei, and one of the Abydos students!" The husband exclaimed in pleasant surprise. "What can I do for you today?"
"Some fresh tea, please."
"Of course, of course! Brew us some tea, dear!"
The ubiquitous services of the convenience store made itself known to me again as the wife brewed a simple batch of tea for me. Eventually it was presented to me in a simple plastic cup. "It's on the house for your hard work. Thank you so much!"
As we exited the store, Hoshino sidled up to the wall beside the store, and I followed her with my surprisingly warm tea in hand. It wasn't tanna, but I'd be blind to notice she decided to choose this mere hours after I informed her of the drink I missed the most. "We aren't the only ones you're helping out. You're doing a lot for everyone here, and they really appreciate it."
"It's good to know we're making a difference," I said honestly. Naturally, risking your life for frak all would be miserable, and it was good to reap the benefits.
"Just needed to let you know that," she mused as she leaned back on the wall. "We'll never replace your friend, but we'll do our hardest to fight for you because you're fighting for us." She gave a sad smile. "It's what she would have wanted me to do."
She. The way Hoshino said it spoke of so much fondness and hurt.
I was about to ask what she meant when I heard a shocked exclamation from ahead of us. "I can't believe it!"
I looked ahead and tilted my head in confusion when I laid my eyes on the peculiar sight of a pug in a checkered suit, walking up to us in anticipation. "It really is you! Thank you so much!"
It was something I was rather used to hearing due to my sterling reputation. Even here, it was already blooming, so it wouldn't be surprising for me to receive them.
So imagine how I felt when the dog was actually addressing Hoshino instead of me. The girl was knocked out of her recollections at the canine's approach. "H-huh? What's this for?"
"You probably don't remember this, but you saved me from being shaken down by thugs!" He answered, gratitude pouring out from his folding face. "I was able to pay my rent last month thanks to you!"
It was quite novel being completely ignored for someone else for once. Seeing the flabbergasted awkwardness on Hoshino's face definitely made it a more positive experience by my measure. "You girls are probably busy now with all the people coming to take a shot at you, but don't worry about your night patrols! Focus on yourselves first!"
"Um… Right…" Hoshino continued, sweating from the unintended revelation.
He was about to move on when he suddenly noticed me, eyes widening in surprise. "Oh, you're the Sensei, right? These girls do hard work, don't they?"
"They work hard and work very well," I answered him genuinely, even though I was relishing in how the little president squirmed beside me.
"You've been doing quite well alongside them, but make sure to take care of them, alright?"
Clearly, his focus on Hoshino made him able to speak up to me in candor. I wouldn't have minded such genuine concern even back in the Imperium, especially with how self-conscious the girl beside me was at the whole affair. "You don't need to tell me twice. I'll do my best for them."
"As you should!" He finished sternly before smiling once again. "I'll be rooting for you all! See you later!"
As he walked off into the night, we remained silent. I stared at the girl beside me as she fidgeted in embarrassment from the exchange before I finally broke it with a straight-faced declaration.
"Seems like I'm not the only one who's been working hard around here."
"Come on, Sensei!" she groaned petulantly. "Man, this is so embarrassing…"
"Why? I'm sure many budding vigilantes of the night would be thrilled to receive such gratitude." From personal experience as a Hero of the Imperium, any praise for my heroics was blunted in my mind by both the cowardice they truly served and the fact that such accolades often forced me into even more dangers in the future. Seeing that this particular specimen was a genuine (if sleepy) girl scout, she could at least suffer from the cheesiness of it all.
"Senseiii…" She whined.
"What?" I continued, shrugging as I continued to talk like I was old Toren Divas, praising my companion while she died inside her head. "I'm being honest. After all, you brought me along to help you patrol the streets as well, didn't you?" We didn't need to make more turns than an inebriated ogryn to get here. She was making a circuit through her usual 'beat'. "Combining a little show of appreciation with your duty as a protector? You multitask quite well."
"Dang it, you're just doing this on purpose, aren't you?!" she growled as she faced me, and the rare childishness she showed strained my efforts to maintain my stoic façade.
"In fact, such efforts deserve a reward."
"Wha-"
Before she could stop me, I had gone back inside the store. I then exited less than a minute later with another cup of tea in my hand
"Here. Have yourself one. It'd be rather embarrassing for a teacher to drink hot tea while their student was out here in all this cold."
She stared at the proffered drink before breaking out into cheerful laughter.
"Hahaha!" She took it from me with her eyes still closed with cheer. "Ah man, you really can't stop surprising me, Sensei."
She looked away from me, towards the dim lights of the city she protected. "I really couldn't put into words how to properly thank you. But now I can, after I have to thank you again for making me laugh. Funny how that works out."
"You remind me of her sometimes, you know?" she began, likely referring to the same girl as before. "Oh, you're a billion times smarter than she is, and a bit less annoying, but you have the same way of getting to people, you know?"
Well, being reminded of someone who affected her so much seemed like a compliment. All the better if I wasn't as stupid or as frustrating, though I wonder if she really was that dumb or if this was just friendly ribbing. Forming my own opinions on this mysterious friend left me completely blindsided when Hoshino spoke once more.
"I'm sure Jurgen thought the same way."
Hearing her speak of my aide in such a manner left my mouth dry in a way the desert air could not. "What do you mean?"
"When everybody else didn't care for him, you did." She answered me honestly. "You did your best for him, which is why he did his best for you. Even when you're not around, I'm sure he's doing the best he can, because he only got that far right now because of you."
Such simple, heartfelt words. They were basic, and yet I couldn't help but feel floored.
Caring when no one else did. That… That did sound like how Jurgen must have found it when I first met him. It might have been a lie at first, but I remembered just how many times over the years when he'd been ignored, slighted or almost abused, and I recalled with startling clarity that I came to his defense every time.
How many times had he faced such things before he met me, without anyone to stand up for him? Whether as a result of his hygiene and the odor that it produced, or his unnatural existence as a blank, he repelled most people… Except, it seemed for me, because of how useful he was to me, and then eventually how irreplaceable he was.
I might actually have been the first person who could tolerate him at all for extended periods of time. He met a rare few others who managed to stand him, like Felicia and Amberly, because he was by my side when I met them.
The thought that, in some small way, I might have helped Jurgen just as much as he helped me, brought me a measure of peace I didn't expect.
"That is a nice thought to have Hoshino," I replied with complete and sincere gratitude. "Thank you. Really."
"It's no problem." She pushed herself off the wall and faced me once more, and I suddenly noticed the strange little fang she had when she smiled. It made her look oddly endearing. "We gotta go back soon, but it'd be a waste to drink cold tea." She held out her cup. "So let's have a toast to them, shall we?" She continued on, trying her best to smile. "To the people we lost, but keep us fighting on."
"It's a fine gesture," I said with a solemn smile. I raised my cup to hers. "To Jurgen."
"To Yume."
The moment we clinked cups and I heard her name, I had to force myself to keep my cheery face at the horrifying realization.
Yume. Dream.
This was a girl who clearly moved Hoshino so deeply the memory of her continued to affect her even now. If Hoshino could relate herself to Jurgen, then she cared for Hoshino when no one else would. Perhaps fought for Abydos alongside her, when everyone else gave up.
And Hoshino was able to survive long enough to meet others who were just as determined to fight for her home as much as she was. People she would give her all for, and who would give their all for her in return.
But Yume wasn't here. And Hoshino knew that far too well, from the countenance of loss and hurt I saw on her before.
I wonder if Hoshino slept this much while Yume was around… Or if I suspected the worst, she began taking naps and forced herself to make midnight patrols for the sake of seeing her in her dreams again.
How tragic then, that her dedication to her home and the people she loved would not let her sleep in good conscience, her mind and her halo constantly ready to flare awake whenever they were needed.
She had experienced death and loss. The idea of seeing any of these girls dead boggled my mind as much as the idea of a fallen Astartes did so long ago.
Was that death the result of some strange weapon or power? Or worse, was it just sheer, dogged tenacity and hatred focused on killing a mere girl fighting for the sake of her home?
"Come on, Sensei, I told you, it might get cold if you wait for too long."
I suddenly realized that I was holding my cup in the air, frozen like a rusty servitor, and I looked once again to see her eyes moistening at the mention of her old friend's name. She finished her tea and went back to the car, unwilling to look at me any longer.
I looked at my now stale drink, the last whiffs of hot vapor slowly disappearing. I raised it to the moon to make one more promise.
Looks like I did right by you Jurgen. I did my best with you, but our time together is over.
These girls are here now. I better do it right by them.
I downed my drink in a single go, not at all dissatisfied by the rightfully deserved helping of barely lukewarm tea resulting from my hesitation, and headed back to the car, resting up to fight for Abydos for another day.
The opulent high-rise office was the backdrop of much labor and conversation. Paperwork and accounting were done here as much as deals and face-to-face meetings. And of the business conducted here, both legal and illegal endeavors happened in equal measure.
This was very much the latter.
"Looks like it happened as you expected."
The robot, clothed in an elegant suit under a fine black robe and red scarf, made his report to the shadowy figure in the corner of the room.
"Not quite. The result was as I predicted. The way they came about? Far more interesting."
In his hand was a common smartphone, a new video making the rounds throughout Kivotos playing on repeat, observed and examined over and over for the captivating scene it showed.
A warrior, outnumbered and taking the field with sword and gun, fending off innumerable attackers while seemingly being untouched. Yet, if one looked closer, one could see bullets enhanced by Mystic power hitting their mark.
Yet despite the man's lack of a halo, he did not seem to be hurt at all. Despite the bullet's Mystical powers of inflicting fear, he was unaffected, seemingly fighting all the harder for every one that hit.
Fascinating. Mesmerizing.
"I'll check on those useless rejects I hired tomorrow," the robot said warily from behind him. "If they do nothing, I'll be dropping a big one on both them and Abydos the day after."
"Oh, but of course," the enigma said cheerfully. "Stress testing is a great way to find limits."
The dark figure's face, only being identifiable as a face at all due to the cracks of light that tore through it, extended backwards into a disturbing parody of a smile.
"Now THIS is a subject worth studying."
*A Dinner, A Dedication and A Dream, END*
I do hope you were all satisfied with that little retelling of Fight or Flight to a bunch of curious school girls, and the subsequent heart to heart. Oh, and EVEN MORE people taking notice as, once again, Cain's reputation blooms as everyone sees him take a chainsword to a shotgun fight and win. Handily.
What's that? Context? This is Cain. Nobody in the general public cares about context unless it makes him more popular.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
