"Absolutely Not!"
Spongebob begged to Sandy,
"Come on Sandy, pleeeeease? We really need a leading lady for this movie!"
Sandy didn't budge, telling Krabs,
"I ain't playing damsel in distress and spending most of your movie screaming just so that you can make a quick buck. Besides, I'm busy."
Krabs gritted his teeth. He would need to pull out the big guns if he wanted to get this darned mammal to agree to join the movie. He didn't want to, but it sounded like he needed to pull out his trump card. He told Sandy,
'Say lass, have you ever hear of Skull Island?"
This caused Sandy's ears to perk up, as he said in shock,
"Skull Island?!"
"Yep."
"I've been trying to find that place for years! I thought the government destroyed all evidence of the island's existence!"
"Aye, not all of it."
Krabs threw down the map on the table they were sitting at, and Sandy looked over it in amazement. Krabs smirked. He knew these sciency types couldn't resist the scientific find of the century. He then asked her,
"So, are ye in?"
"Alright….BUT! I'll only agree to this if ya allow me to do some research while we're on the island."
"Alright, fine."
The two shook hands as Spongebob cheered, but Mr KRabs then told her,
"Yer Gonna need a blond wig."
"No Worry."
Sandy went into her treedome, and when she came out she was wearing her suit, but with a blond wig on her head. Spongebob cheered, and they all got into Krabs's car, driving off. They soon arrived at the ship, and once they boarded, Coralhorn yelled,
"Alright men, set sail!"
The sailors all unhooked the ship, and with a mighty heave, the Venture set off. Spongebob and Patrick watched in amazement as the ship left the harbor, and then went to their cabins to play eels and escalators.
3 days later, the Venture was being battered by fierce 50 foot waves, but held steady as it trudged on. Spongebob and Patrick were holding onto the ship for dear life as Mr Krabs and Squidward were discussing the script. Mr Krabs asked Squidward,
"So, how's the script coming along?"
"Well, I've got the first act figured out. Two more acts to go."
"I'm thinking we should make this a musical."
"A musical?"
"Yeah, those're popular. I want a rewrite of this script to include songs stat! Or you're fired!"
"But-"
"Get Movin Sailor!"
Squidward quickly saluted and began rewriting the script, and as Krabs prepared to retire to his cabin, Spongebob and Patrick came running into the room, soaked and shivering. Spongebob stuttered,
"M-Mr Krabs…..We-re co-co-co-cold…."
Patrick stuttered as well,
"And Hungry…."
Mr Krabs looked at his watch. It had been a while since they had eaten, so Krabs decided that it couldn't hurt to get some grub. And so, they all went down to the dining room, where they gluttonously feasted on Krabby Patties cooked by Spongebob. Krabs laughed and said,
"Boys, you're the ones helping me achieve me dreams of making a movie! We're starting shooting tomorrow, and boy I tell you it's gonna be a blast, aaagagagagagahh!"
Squidward tried to pipe in by saying,
"But, I haven't even finished the script ye-"
"Can it, it'll just be test footage."
Coralhorn then walked into the dining room, holding a bottle of alcohol in hand. He said to Krabs,
"Eugene, we should be at our destination in about a week, and be back home in time for this "Christmas" thing you told me about. We could have this movie take place around it."
"Great! Speaking of which, I'd love to film Kong and have him in the movie! I'd be a smash hit at the box office, that's for sure. Aaaagagagagaghh!"
Confused by Krabs's mention of the word Kong, Spongebob asked him,
"Mr Krabs, what's a Kong?"
Squidward joined in the conversation as well, saying,
"Isn't that just some native superstition?"
Krabs smiled and told them,
"I'm glad you asked boys. According to the guy who gave me the map, Kong is neither beast nor man, but something monstrous, holding villagers in a deadly grip of TERROR!!! Buuuut that's all hearsay."
Spongebob, Squidward and Patrick sat in stunned silence until Krabs broke it by saying,
"Enough about that. Get back to work!"
Krabs then scuttled away, leaving the 3 in shock.
Half a week later, Krabs was ready for shooting. Sandy was standing in front of the camera, wearing her blond wig as well as a white dress over her suit. Despite that fact, she still looked fairly beautiful in the outfit, and Krabs was confident that she was a star that would get people in the theaters.
Spongebob and Patrick were wearing their costumes as well. Spongebob's costume consisted of a motley brown wig, a brown jacket with a blue undershirt, and green camo pants, while Patrick was wearing a long blond wig, a blue shirt, and brown pants. Krabs's cameraman, Stephen Hill, adjusted the camera as Krabs told Sandy,
"Alright Miss Cheeks, this is a test scene. Just to get a feel for the character, costumes, setting, etc. When ol Steve here starts rolling, you do exactly as I say, ok?"
"Got it."
"Alright, roll camera."
Herb began filming, stating,
"Rolling."
One of the sailors then came in with the clapperboard, bringing it into frame and saying,
"Scene 600, Action!"
He clapped the clapperboard together, and Krabs yelled,
"Action!"
Sandy stood at the ready as Mr Krabs began giving her instructions.
"Ok, lass. You feel a sense of relief and you smile, but then you hear something. You look up but you can't see anything."
Sandy followed Mr Krabs's instructions, and despite not having any acting experience whatsoever, she was doing fairly good. Krabs continued, telling her,
"You look higher. Higher still. Now ye see it. It's amazing, ye can't believe it. It's horrifying beyond your wildest dreams. It's terrible but ye can't look away!"
Sandy did as instructed, visualizing the most terrifying thing that she could conjure up, and Krabs continued talking, telling her,
"Your paralyzed Sandy, your helpless! Your only chance is if you scream, but you can't! Your throats in knots! Try to scream, try!"
Sandy did what she was told too, and was really getting into it. Krabs finally said,
"NOW SCREAM, SANDY! SCREAM FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"
Sandy threw her hands up and screamed as loud as she could, loud enough so that Spongebob held Squidward's hand and said,
"Hold me."
Squidward shoved Spongebob off as Sandy finished screaming, her breathing heavily afterwards. Krabs clapped and said,
"Bravo! You're gonna be great, lass! Now go back to your cabin and be back in 30!"
Sandy walked off, and as Krabs walked off, Spongebob approached him and told him,
"Um…sir? I'm getting kind of nervous about bringing Sandy here."
"Don't tell me you're going soft on me, lad."
"Not on you, sir but….on Sandy. She's my friend, I don't want her to get hurt."
"Your friend, eh? Good, because I can't afford a love affair to complicate things."
Spongebob blushed and stammered,
"L-L-L Love Affair?! N-no sir, we're just friends!"
"Sure ye are."
Squidward then came up behind Spongebob and told him,
"Don't try to be a tough guy, Sponge brain."
Spongebob jumped and turned around to look as Squidward as he continued by saying,
"I studied surface literature in high school. I'm basing this movie off of the plot of a human story called Beauty and the Beast. The Beast was a big guy, the biggest guy of all! But when he saw Beauty, he went sappy. And then the little guys took him down."
Mr Krabs crossed his arms and remarked,
"Aren't ye a little old for fairy tales, Mr Squidward?"
Squidward scoffed and walked away, and Krabs yelled into a microphone,
"Alright, everyone get in position for the first song!"
Spongebob and Patrick ran up in front of the camera, joined by several other sailors. Krabs then ran behind the camera and told them,
"Alright men, this'll be part of a verse of a shanty you're gonna sing on your way to the island. Based on a shanty I used to sing as a youth! Now repeat after me!"
Krabs began a dance routine he had perfected in the Navy decades prior, singing,
"Iiiiiiiiiit beeee, droughty and wet on the mighty high seas, the ideal abode for rampant disease, so mateys oh mateys, don't ever weep if I so much as sneeze, cast me into the deep!"
After Krabs finished dancing, he pulled out a megaphone and said into it,
"Now you men try. Action!"
The sailors, Spongebob and Patrick all began replicating Krabs's moves the best they could, singing,
"Iiiiiiiiit beeee, droughty and wet on the mighty high seas, the ideal abode for rampant disease, so mateys oh mateys, don't ever weep if I so much as sneeze, cast me into the dee-"
Before they could finish the song, Patrick, who had spun around as part of the dance, collided into Spongebob. The two fell to the ground and the sailors laughed at them. Krabs laughed as well, but it wasn't in a mocking way like the sailors. He told Spongebob,
"Ah, yer friend plays the comic relief role perfectly! I'm keeping that take, now go rest so we can have our next take in 30 minutes!"
Everyone walked to their cabins, and Krabs smirked. This movie would change the world. It wouldn't be the actors who would do that, but the star: Kong.
