Luz wringed her hands nervously. If there was ever an incident that would persuade Camila that she really did have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, it was the one they were about to watch. She remembered her actions with intense embarrassment. She'd been tricked into thinking she was special, that she was helping…and it wouldn't be the last time.
As she got lost in her own thoughts again, Vee came slithering back into the room. "Is it safe now?" she whispered.
"Yes, it's fine," Luz promised her. "I don't go back to the Conformatorium for…a long while. I'll tell you when it happens."
"You went back there?!" Camila said, looking horrified.
Luz nodded. "I had a good reason. But that's much, much later. Gus, you ready?" Gus gave a thumbs up – he was doing so good with the human style gestures! After they refilled their popcorn bowl, and got everyone some glasses of water to drink, they started the next "episode."
[The events of the previous episode are recapped in a dream Luz is having.]
"So…please tell me that all my dreams aren't going to show up here," Luz pleaded to Gus. There were a few of Amity that she certainly didn't want the twelve-year-old Gus to see…to say nothing of her mother.
"It should only be the ones your subconscious thought were particularly important to understanding your story," Gus informed her. Luz breathed a sigh of relief.
[Luz wakes up and realizes she wasn't dreaming. She exchanges greetings with a hideous looking sea monster.]
"Is that…typical there?" Camila asked.
Amity shook her head. "Normally, people aren't as polite. But Luz has a tendency to charm everyone she meets."
"I have a gift for sneaking into people's hearts," Luz said with a wink. Amity blushed.
[Luz looks a bit disgusted. King continues snoring. She gives an enthusiastic greeting to King. Cut to Luz, fully dressed, opening the bathroom door. Several owls fly out of it, hooting. She watches them fly away before entering, walking backwards. Hooty emerges from the window and greets Luz. Luz screams and karate chops Hooty's face.]
"How dare he spy on you in the bathroom?!" Camila shouted. "I hope you had a good talk with him about boundaries later on." Luz nodded. That had been an unpleasant conversation…for Hooty.
[Hooty retreats in pain. Luz is very enthusiastic about her first day as a witch apprentice. She finds a closet and inside is what appears to be stereotypical witch clothing.]
"That's…a bathrobe," Hunter said in a deadpan tone. "You do know that's a bathrobe, right?" Luz scowled at him.
[Cut to Luz writing "Witch Apprentice Luz" on a name tag and sticking it to her chest. She is now wearing a robe and what looks to be a witch's hat as she stands at the bottom of a staircase. Luz squeals. A toilet flushes. Eda's shadow appears on the wall before she steps into frame. Luz greets Eda. Eda doesn't seem to know who she is.]
-THEME SONG-
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Camila said, putting her hands up. "What the heck is this?"
Luz blinked. "You mean other people don't imagine what it would be like if their life had a title sequence?"
"Not really, no." Huh. You learned something new every day.
"Oh, there are your friends!" Camila said, pointing at the images of the three of them. "Wow, Gus, you've grown a lot since then!"
"I went through witch puberty!" he bragged. Camila smiled politely. She probably did not want to know.
When the image of a gigantic worm appeared chasing Luz and Eda, Camila let out a yelp of fright. "I…don't remember that happening," Luz admitted. "I think I might have imagined that."
Camila let out a gasp as she saw the light spell rise into the air. "Was that…magic? Luz, can you do magic? Are you a real witch now?"
"Uh, yeah," Luz said with a bashful grin. "Sort of. It doesn't work here. I've tried." A grim look appeared on her face.
Camila looked over at Hunter. "So why are you not in this title sequence?"
"We didn't cross paths for a long while," Hunter said curtly. He was not ready to talk in depth about his time in the Emperor's Coven. He had chosen not to volunteer any memories until the point where he met Luz. It wasn't anyone's business and it didn't directly pertain to Luz's story.
[Luz reminds Eda of how they know each other. Eda blames her lethargy on not having had her apple blood. Not juice, but blood.]
Camila shook her head in dismay. Drinking alcoholic beverages with breakfast. She sincerely hoped Luz hadn't picked up that habit.
[Eda sits on the kitchen table and drinks from her mug. King is sitting in a high chair and stabbing a fork into a yellow blob with eyes sitting on a plate.]
"Eww," Camila said.
"It does look a little undercooked," Amity conceded.
[Luz eagerly requests a dangerous magical quest and a magic staff.]
"I don't like that your first request was to walk into danger, Luz," Camila pointed out.
[Eda counsels patience and points out she is, in fact, wearing a bathrobe and a dirty traffic cone. Luz pulls her hat off and blows on it, revealing that it was, in fact, a traffic cone with a severe layer of dust on it. King laughs.]
Luz lowered her head, still remembering the embarrassment she'd felt. Amity gave her a sympathetic smile.
[She holds out her hand to summon her magic staff. For a second, nothing happens. Then several things crash distantly. King, Luz, and Eda all slowly turn to the sound, until Eda's staff appears and smacks her in the face, clattering to the ground. Eda g runts and picks the staff up, spinning it before tapping it on the ground. Eda explains that witches are traditionally awarded their staffs from school, but Luz will have to earn hers by working for her at her several businesses.]
"Did this Eda teach you any magic or was she just conning you into being her unpaid helper?" Camila demanded.
"She did teach me!" Luz defended. "Eventually."
[Eda grabs a toy sword and hits a button near the pommel, prompting it to make noise. She throws the sword over Luz's head and explains most of her money is made from selling homemade elixirs and potions, such as snake oil to make sure snakes are not un-oiled.]
"Snake venom is used in many important potions," Hunter explained. That made sense to Camila. Her medical training had taught her that all medicines could be poison and vice versa. "If they're not properly oiled, the venom is useless or even dangerous to add to the potion."
"You seem to know a lot about this stuff, Hunter. Did you study potions at Hexside?"
"I…just read a lot." Camila nodded.
[Cut to Eda and Luz walking onto a balcony. Eda tasks Luz with delivering packages and selling potions in Bonesborough. She warns Luz against her rivals who want to sabotage her business. Luz turns to salute Eda, dropping the sack of potions off the balcony in the process. The two of them watch it fall, Luz wincing when it crashes loudly on the ground. Cut to the living room, where Eda is pushing Luz out the door with a new bag of potions. She warns Luz against trusting men in sandals.]
Luz did a facepalm. If only she'd listened to her wise mentor's sage advice!
[Eda slams the door closed and dusts her hands off, then looks at King. While Luz eavesdrops from the other side of the window, Eda tasks King with watching over her. King reluctantly agrees. Fade to Bonesborough. Luz and King walk through an archway. Zoom out to reveal a wall covered in wanted posters on either side of the archway. Various types of demons pass, all of which Luz stare at in amazement.]
"I have to admit this is pretty remarkable," Camila said softly. "I see why it appeals to you so much…"
"So I can go back?!" Luz said, her eyes wide with hope.
"Our deal was that I'd make my decision after I've seen it all, remember?" Camila deflected. Luz pouted, but at least that hope wasn't fully gone from her eyes.
[Luz expresses wonder at her surroundings and wonders if any other humans are present.]
Everyone but Camila and Vee flinched.
[Luz speculates that she must be in the Boiling Isles because she has a special destiny like Azura.]
Luz wished she could just curl up in a ball and disappear. She'd been so dumb back then.
[King points out that Azura probably never had to deliver boil cream. He takes a potion labeled "Boil B' Gone" from the sack and holds it up.]
"Actually, Azura may not have delivered boil cream, but she did do a stint as an assistant in an apothecary," Amity lectured. "There, she realized that…" She coughed. "Uh, sorry. Continue."
[Luz vows to impress everyone with her magical skill. King is less than impressed. Luz puts the boil cream back in the sack before hefting it over her shoulder and looking around. She starts in the direction of the market, where she walks up to a centaur holding a pumpkin in front of his chest. Luz tries to sell potions to him, only for the centaur to reveal his face was on his chest and she has been talking to the wrong place.]
The witches winced. That was a serious faux pas Luz had made there. She was lucky she hadn't gotten challenged to a duel.
[Luz exclaims. Cut to a house, where Luz rings the doorbell. She leaves her hand on the button, and the doorbell bites her hand and slowly starts to eat her arm. King walks away in annoyance. Cut to a curb, where Luz and King are sitting, the latter scarfing down a Not Dog from the cart behind them.]
"What does a not dog taste like?" Camila wondered.
"Sort of like a hot dog, but crunchier!" Luz said enthusiastically. It was one of her favorite snack foods on the Isles.
[Luz laments that the Boiling Isles are deadlier and more hostile than she had expected. She laments that there is no wizard trying to grant her a quest like had been the case for Azura. She s tands and hefts the potions sack over her shoulder with a grunt; takes out a piece of paper and starts down the alley. Just as Luz is about to give up, she spots a large castle with golden banners illuminated by sunlight. The doorbell is also made of gold, and towering wooden doors open after Luz presses it.]
"I have a bad feeling about this," Gus muttered.
[King expresses unease regarding the castle, but Luz ignores him and goes inside. King tries to run after Luz, but the doors slam behind him. Luz enters a room and calls out to the owner. Lanterns around the room flare on, revealing it to be a massive library. They illuminate a grand staircase, above which is a painting of a wizard. Said wizard enters from a door in the same pose he has in the painting.]
Camila couldn't help but narrow her eyes a little. This whole thing seemed a bit too convenient. As if it was too good to be true.
[King is skeptical about the wizard.]
Luz nodded. She really should have listened to King, taken him more seriously. Though in her defense, King was…not really the easiest person to take seriously.
[The wizard claims to sense something unique about Luz and invites her to tea.]
A shiver ran down Camila's spine. She was not liking the vibes she was getting from this wizard. He seemed more like the type of person to lure children into his van with candy than a wise, magical mentor type.
[Adegast summons two chairs and a table of snacks. He sits down in the white throne. King disparages wizards and urges Luz to flee.]
"King is right," Willow said. "Wizard is just a pretentious name used by really arrogant magic users. Our species is witch; it's not just a term for a female magic user."
[Adegast takes a handful of glitter out of his pocket and drops it on the floor. Luz blithely ignores King's warnings, enchanted by the baby fox in Adegast's beard.]
"Ay, Luz, please tell me this guy isn't the bad news I think he is."
"Sorry, mami. I could tell you that…but I'd be lying."
[The baby fox giggles. L uz spots scones on the table and King eagerly goes after them. Luz follows him, dropping the bag of potions in front of the chair as she sits in it.]
Luz: We'd love to join you for tea.
[King munches on the food. Luz spots a cart of potions. Adegast admits he runs a potions business. Luz explains her role as Luz's apprentice and admits she is disappointed by how the experience has been going so far. Adegast announces he has a quest. Cup shatters.]
Luz groaned. "Hey, it's okay, Luz," Amity said to her with a gentle smile. "You were new to our world. You didn't know how things were done here. You shouldn't feel too bad."
"It's not so much about that…" Luz muttered.
[Adegast pulls a scroll out of his beard which turns out to be a map. According to Adegast, the map is to the Celestial Staff and there is a prophecy that a young human girl will claim the staff and free the world from an ancient evil. He suggests Luz might be the girl in the prophecy.]
"It never occurred to you that maybe he was just laying it on a little thick?" Vee asked. Luz shook her head.
[Adegast warns Luz that the road ahead will be perilous. Luz eagerly takes the map and expresses her love of peril.]
"Ugh, again with the deliberately putting yourself in danger, Luz!" Camila said. Luz gave a nervous laugh.
[Adegast announces that only the Chosen One can pull the staff from its post.]
"Well, we lost her," Gus deadpanned.
[King starts walking past them with the potion badge and announces their departure. Luz decides to take on the quest. Cut to Luz's bedroom, where she's sheathing the toy sword from earlier. Around her are various potions, food, the quest scroll, and of course her Azura book. She wonders what kind of Chosen One she should be. She muses that while she could be like Azura, she could also be a Chosen One with black nail polish and a mysteriously withdrawn attitude.]
Willow looked over at Amity. "Gee, that description seems awfully familiar. Luz sure likes girls with a mysteriously withdrawn attitude, doesn't she? And black nail polish." Amity blushed.
[Eda arrives and King urges her to badmouth wizards. She gestures with a severed arm and almost hits King several times.]
Camila groaned. She was going to have to see a lot more of Eda's severed limbs, wasn't she?
[Eda complains about wizards. King explains what happened to her. They make fun of Luz for thinking she is the Chosen One.]
"That's really mean of them," Vee said. "I mean, sure, you were being naïve, Luz, but it didn't mean they had a right to make fun of you for that. You must have felt awful."
"Eh…I'm used to it," Luz said with the casual wave of a hand.
Camila gave her a concerned look. "We'll be discussing that later, lucecita," she warned. Luz gulped.
[King tells Eda about the map. Eda and King laugh as Luz hides behind her book, an embarrassed blush on her face. Eda asks to see the map. Luz hands her the map. She inspects it for a few seconds. Eda pronounces the map fake and assures her that in a few months, she'll stop looking like an easy mark.]
Luz felt tears threatening to well down her face. It took all of her composure to stop them from falling. Her efforts did not go unnoticed by Camila.
[Luz asks for time alone. Eda shrugs and leaves the room. King hops off of Luz's sleeping bag and follows Eda. The door closes, casting the room in shadow. Luz l eans against the wall before sliding down it to the floor. Sunlight is illuminating one corner of the map, revealing the word "one" in shining blue lettering. Luz holds the entire map up to the light revealing the message: "The chosen one The path will only appear to the worthy". Luz thinks the path is only appearing to her because she is worthy and Eda is not.]
Camila sighed. "Oh, Luz." Had Luz really been made so desperate for validation that she'd fallen for such a transparent trick? Had Camila contributed to that desperation? She just didn't know.
[Wind howls and opens the window. The map flies out of her grasp, landing next to her book. The wind flips the pages to show Azura standing loved and triumphant on a small hill, the people around her applauding as she holds a staff to the sun. Luz decides to go on the quest. Cut to a sign proclaiming the city limits of Bonesborough, next to which is Luz. She jumps and slides down an incline, then gets over a fallen log. A thick fog rolls in as she keeps walking.]
Gus bit his fingernails, even as a part of him was excited. He knew his friend got up to all sorts of wacky adventures when he wasn't around, and he was looking forward to seeing them. Though the fog was definitely making him nervous.
[The lights on the sword dim as it runs out of battery. Luz lowers it. She continues onward, ducking a branch and cutting a rope with the sword. Camera reveals a village full of cats wearing clothes and walking on two legs. Luz walks through the village, beaming as she looks around. She approaches a fountain in the middle of a square, from which a witch with a sword strapped to his waist emerges, flipping wet hair out of his face.]
Amity let out a low hiss.
[The witch introduces himself as Nevareth Bladestrif, Teen Prince of Angstmore. Luz eyes his muscles covetously.]
Amity started growling and her grip on her glass tightened.
[Cut to the middle of the woods, where Luz is walking with Nevareth and a flying onion with bat wings. Nevareth flirts with Luz, who seems very into it.]
Amity's glass suddenly exploded into a shower of shards. "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" she said as she quickly stood up from the armchair. "I, uh, I don't know what came over me."
"Say, Amity, that Nevareth sure has nice biceps, doesn't he?" Willow teased.
Hunter glared ferociously at her. "That's…hardly appropriate," he muttered.
"I have no idea what's going on," Gus admitted.
After cleaning up the glass, they returned to their viewing.
[The three of them walk onto a bridge, yelping when a creature jumps in front of them with a name tag with the name Chris and asks them to solve a riddle. He asks what his name is, and Luz answers it by reading from the name tag.]
"And you seriously didn't realize that something was up at this point?" Hunter said incredulously. "I thought you were supposed to be smart!"
"Hey! I'll have you know that I'm very smart! I just have a tendency to ignore all red flags when I'm in the pursuit of my goal, that's all."
"That's hardly much better."
[Chris gives Luz a ring that is supposed to help her on her quest. Nevareth continues to flirt with Luz.]
Amity let out a bestial snarl.
[Nevareth rips his shirt off and ties it like a cape over Luz's shoulders. Luz very much likes what she sees where the shirt once was.]
Amity threw her popcorn bowl at the TV. "Whoops," she said unconvincingly. "My hand slipped."
[Nevareth cheers Luz. Luz blushes from the praise. Cut to the woods, where, along with Nevareth and Chris, Luz is walking with a fairy much less hostile than the one she met the day before. The fairy princess gives Luz two bracelets. Chris announces, in rhyme, that the quest will soon come to an end.]
Luz shuddered a little. That rhyming was reminding her uncomfortably of the Collector.
[Nevareth urges Luz to take the Celestial Staff. Luz perks back up and continues down the path. Birds twitter as they fly overhead, casting long shadows below them. Luz looks away from them to focus on the path, before slowing to a stop. Luz gasps. The Celestial Staff stands on a platform in the middle of a lake, illuminated by a ray of light. As Luz approaches the edge of the lake, a glowing comes from the water, followed a few seconds later by a stone walkway rumbling into place, connecting the edge of the lake and the central platform. Luz asserts that she was there for a reason as she skips and twirls down the walkway. She pauses as she reaches the platform, staring at the staff in awe. She hesitantly grabs the staff. Blue swirls of magic come out of it, creating waves in the lake as the top of the staff glows brightly. She pulls it out of the ground and holds it above her head triumphantly. Luz proclaims herself the Chosen One and attributes the fact no one understood her wacky antics on Earth to that. She jumps and twirls in a circle, then holds the staff with both hands.]
Camila's heart broke at the concrete proof she'd just gotten that her lack of effort in trying to understand Luz's "wacky antics" had caused her to jump at the first people to offer her validation, even though they were all extremely sketchy. She had no doubt this Nevereth, Chris, and Adegast were all in it together. The only question was why.
[The staff disintegrates, the dust blowing away in the wind. She grabs at the dust. Around her, the rest of the illusions fade: flowers at her feet wilt, water drains from the lake and retreats up the riverbanks, and even leaves disappear in a swirl.]
"Whoa," Gus said with a whistle. "That is some pretty darn good illusion magic." They all glared at him. "I mean, speaking purely professionally, of course!"
[The Celestial Lake is now surrounded in fog. Luz backs up, holding her sword in front of her. Luz whimpers. Adegast appears from the fog. Adegast lifts the wizard puppet to reveal an octopus-like demon. The ground begins to crack. Her previous travelling companions and cats from the village arise from the stone, a tentacle in each of their backs. They're lifted in the air and surround Luz, who slowly spins around.]
"I have to admit, I did not see that coming," Vee admitted. "I mean, the whole everyone being in on it, sure. Everyone being puppets…not so much."
[Luz thinks she has to rescue everyone and defeat Adegast, but Adegast reveals he has been puppeteering everyone she met on her quest. He confirms he conned Luz into thinking she was the Chosen One. As she's distracted by the reveal, her cape floats up around her. It turns to chains, forcing her to her knees. The bracelets become hand cuffs and the ring becomes chains that lock her hands together, secured with a padlock. Luz laments that her cool accessories have betrayed her.]
"My cool accessories wouldn't be the last ones to betray me," Luz muttered darkly under her breath.
[Adegast reveals she is bait to lure Eda into a trap, since Eda is a rival in the potions business. Luz refuses to believe Eda will fall for the trap, only for Eda to arrive to rescue her.]
Camila had to admit, she didn't see that coming. She'd really been starting to believe the worst of Eda. But now, she was putting herself at risk to rescue Luz, even though they barely even knew each other at this point. Camila was starting to see a little bit more why Luz was so fond of this woman.
[Eda and King land at the end of the walkway. Two cat puppets erupt from the ground, one grabbing Eda and the other King. Eda tries to bargain for Luz's life. The Chris puppet breathes a cloud of fog at Luz. When she opens her eyes, she's free of her restraints, kneeling in a dark void. Adegast's puppets walk up to her from the dark. They try to entice her to stay with her with promises of love and not being laughed at.]
"They laughed at you here?" Gus said, sounding heartbroken. Luz nodded, looking very meek and small.
Amity shook her fists. "How dare they? You just let me at them! I'll obliterate them! They'll be sorry they ever heard the name Luz Noceda!" Luz couldn't help but smile.
[Luz appears to be about to succumb.]
"Don't fall for it, Luz!" Hunter called out.
[Luz rejects the fantasy and calls Adegast out for tricking her. She grabs her sword.]
Everyone let out a cheer. Camila kissed Luz on the cheek. "I'm proud of you, mija."
[Luz stabs the wizard puppet through the stomach, making it disappear with a poof. Adegast screams. Eda and King free themselves, landing next to Luz with grunts. Luz swings her sword at the princess like it's a bat, making her poof away.]
"YOU GET THEM, LUZ!" Willow called out.
[Three cat puppets approach Eda. She draws a spell circle, sending a plume of orange smoke at them. They disintegrate with distorted screams. Adegast continues screaming. Nevareth tries to blindside Luz, but his yell alerts her. She catches his sword with her own and duels him. Luz stabs Nevareth.]
Amity gave a vicious grin.
"I always thought you could do better," Willow said. She nudged Amity. "Isn't that right?" Amity blushed.
[Nevareth vanishes. Eda lands next to Luz, the two sharing a smile. Adegast grabs King and threatens to kill him. Eda and Luz drop their weapons and raise their hands in surrender. Luz laments having fallen for Adegast's lies and not trusting King.]
Luz: King, I'm sorry. I should have listened to you and never trusted that wizard. You were right. He isn't mystical or magical. He's just a big, slimy jerk.
[She kicks her sword, sending it flying point first into Adegast's head.]
Camila felt very satisfied to see that. She'd do the exact same thing in the defense of the people she loved.
[He screams and drops King, who is caught by Luz. The scream changes pitch as Adegast shrinks to less than an eighth of his previous size. Eda and Luz walk up to him. Eda picks Adegast up and eats him.]
"Um, did your mentor just eat a man in front of you?" Camila said, aghast. Sure, she probably wouldn't have shed any tears if he'd died in the heat of battle, but this was an execution!
"Yeah, so?" Luz said, sounding bewildered there was a problem.
Camila bit her lip. She didn't want to start an argument, not over a creep who'd flirted with her daughter despite no doubt being way older than her and probably deserved his fate when all was said and done.
[Luz admits she had thought about calling it quits since matters aren't progressing as she thought they would.]
"I'm glad you didn't call it quits, Luz," Amity said.
[Cut to the three of them on Eda's staff, hovering in the sky. Luz is wearing a blindfold. Luz takes the blindfold off and is flabbergasted by what she sees The camera pans to reveal the whole of the Boiling Isles: the decomposing body of a Titan. It's laying with its arms splayed in the sea, its skull illuminated by the setting sun.]
"It's incredible," Camila whispered, awe coursing through her. "And you live on that thing's corpse?"
"That thing is our god," Hunter snapped. "Show some respect." He looked a little uncertain. "I mean…I was always raised to revere the Titan…but…"
"I don't think there's anything wrong with showing respect to the Titan," Willow said. "He's the source of all of our magic and the dad of a good friend of ours."
"I'm terribly sorry," Camila said sincerely. "I didn't mean to offend you." She blinked. "What do you mean the dad of a good friend of yours?!"
Luz started the "episode" back up before anyone could give spoilers.
[King and Eda wax rhapsodic about the slime and the stink of the Isles.
"You get used to it," Gus said.
[Eda points out that it seems different from their perspective. The three of them look to the sky above the Titan's skull, where stars are beginning to appear. As they watch, a shooting star crosses the sky, there for only a moment. Luz realizes it is beautiful. She wonders how Eda knew Adegast was lying. Eda tells her that everyone wants to believe they're chosen, but good futures belong to those who are proactive and choose themselves.]
Camila nodded. That was more of what she'd been expecting Eda to be like.
[Eda promises that someday, not today, Luz will earn her staff. Luz leans against Eda as they watch the sun continue to set.]
Luz turned to face her mother, her face filled with worry. "Mom, I know I messed up and I know it makes me look really, really bad. It's just –"
Camila swept Luz up into a hug before she could say another word. "I understand," she assured her. "Luz, I meant what I said. I'm proud of you. I sent you to that camp because I wanted you to learn the difference between fantasy and reality. I would have vastly preferred it if you learned that difference in a way that hadn't put you in danger, but it's clear you've learned it."
Luz looked at the floor. "Uh, yeah. Definitely. Never got suckered again, not once." She coughed. "I think a part of me knew it was a trick. But I just wanted so much for there to be a point. Everything I went through, I hoped it was just to toughen me up for my destiny like Azura. Except…it wasn't like that."
"I'm glad you're okay," Camila said. "Please tell me your next adventure wasn't so dangerous. I'm not sure how much my poor heart can take!"
"Oh, it was much tamer than this," Luz promised. "Except for the part where I nearly got dissected…" Amity groaned. This was not going to be fun for her.
