"I have good news, Mrs. Noceda!" Amity announced. "I've been thinking over Luz's adventures and I think I found one that didn't put her in mortal danger! It was when I went to Eclipse Lake. Luz was home sick in the Owl House the whole time. Also, when we went to try to figure out who the author of the Good Witch Azura series was."
Gus raised a hand. "What about when you faced Boscha in grudgby?"
"Nah, Boscha tossed a fireball at my face, remember?" Luz said completely casually.
"Oh, right."
"So let me get this straight," Camila said dryly. "Out of the, what, forty different adventures you've compiled, you've identified a grand total of two where Luz wasn't in mortal danger? And that's supposed to make me feel better?"
"Yes?"
Camila did a face palm. "Ay, Dios mío. All right. Well, I appreciate the thought, anyway."
"Let's start the next episode before Amity can dig a deeper hole for herself," Willow suggested.
Hunter tilted his head. "You dig your own grave too sometimes?" Camila's eyes widened with alarm.
"No, Hunter. It's just an expression."
[Open on the Owl House living room, where Luz is reading from The Good Witch Azura 5 to King.]
Luz: "Azura," Hecate began. "Our paths have crossed only in battle. But today I stand before you seeking an ally." [Sighs.]
King: Luz, you're getting all swoony again.
"She does that sometimes," Amity said in an absurdly fond tone.
Luz: I can't help it. Azura is able to befriend everyone. Even her biggest rival. I wish I had that kind of power.
"I'm kind of glad now I don't have that power," Luz admitted. "Can you imagine what it'd be like to be friends with Belos?" She made a face.
King: Rivals are meant to be annihilated, not befriended. Now keep reading. I've been sucked into your awful fandom.
Hunter's expression turned shifty as he remembered the Good Witch Azura novel he'd been hiding under his sleeping bag. He'd started off trying to acquire ammunition to tease Luz with and had gotten sucked in just like King. He couldn't help himself. The prose reminded him so much of his favorite book, Ruler's Reach.
Luz: Okay. Suddenly the door swung open.
Hooty: [Swings the door open.] Ding-dong. Ding. Hoot! Hoot!
King: The book has come to life! Burn it!
"Oh, how dare he," Amity snarled.
"You did stomp his cupcake," Gus reminded her. "You could make up for it by overlooking this, maybe?"
Amity sighed and nodded.
[Luz goes to the door and finds a basket.]
Luz: Hmm?
[Cut to the kitchen.]
Luz: Eda, you got a package. It looks like a gift basket.
Eda: Probably an offering. Ah! Being the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles has its perks.
"Do people really give her offerings?" Camila asked.
"Oh, sure," Luz said. "Mostly because they're scared of her and want to make sure she doesn't curse their families. Fruit baskets, jewelry, babies…"
"Babies?!" Camila shouted.
Luz shrugged. She didn't get it either. "We think they leave them on her doorstep cause they want her to kill them. Obviously, she takes them to the orphanage instead. But this time was an exception. Uh, not in the sense she killed it, obviously!"
[King, a bib now tied on, grunts as he pulls a blanket off the top of the basket, revealing a snoring baby bat.]
King: [Rubbing his paws together.] Mm. Fresh meat.
Luz: No, not eating that.
Eda: Witches eating babies is so 1693. What is this?
"Wait, you use the calendar from Earth?" Camila asked.
"Yeah, I thought it was just something Eda picked up from the Human Realm, but it turns out they do use our calendar," Luz said. "Though it's about two weeks off."
That, no doubt, was the result of using the Julian calendar instead of the Gregorian calendar. Luz recalled from her many deep dives into Wikipedia that Britain hadn't adopted the Gregorian calendar until the eighteenth century, which meant that Belos would have used the Julian calendar.
King: There's a note. [Grabs it.] Take care of my child till morning. Yi Yi.
Eda: Nope. Babies are awful. Not happening.
King: "You will be handsomely rewarded. X-O-X-O-X-O-X. Bat Queen."
Eda: Bat Queen?
[King pulls a few snails out of the basket. Eda's eyes widen.]
Eda: Reward?
Luz: Who's the Bat Queen?
[King sniffs the snails.]
Eda: She's the wealthiest demon on the Boiling Isles. Get in with her and you're set for life. [Takes one of the snails.] So, we keep this thing alive for a few hours and we get paid. Pfft. Easy.
Luz: Our greatest adventure yet! Learning about love and life through a child's eyes.
Eda: Not you. You have to return the books I checked out from the library.
Camila relaxed at hearing that. Really, what mortal danger could Luz get up to in a library?
[Eda summons a pile of books, which Luz catches.]
Eda: [To King.] I don't want her getting a cut of the loot.
King: Good thinking.
Eda: Now, let's take a look at this little darling. [Fully takes the blanket off.]
[Baby bat screeches.]
"I guess they don't call her the Bat Queen just for kicks," Camila observed.
Eda: Argh!
King: Oh, boy.
Eda: On second thought, maybe we could use your help!
Luz: [Halfway out the door.] Well, I better get to the library! Got to go! Bye! [Closes the door.]
-THEME SONG-
[Cut to the streets of Bonesborough, where Luz is struggling to walk with her load. She passes Tinella Nosa, carrying a book as big as Luz.]
Luz: Huh? Whoa.
[She watches Tinella Nosa pass, nearly drops her books. She catches them and continues on for a few steps until she sees the library across the street.]
Luz: Whoa!
[Cut to the inside of the library as she enters. The book pile glows green and begins floating forward.]
Luz: Huh?
[Each book flies through a red spell circle.]
Librarian: Late.
[Beeps.]
Librarian: Late.
[Beeps.]
Librarian: [Grabs the last book as Luz walks to the desk.] Coffee, grass and bloodstains? These are Eda's, aren't they?
Luz: Huh. That was a crazy night.
"Luz?" Camila asked warningly.
"Do you really wanna know, mami?"
Camila considered it and shook her head. "Just tell me it's not your blood."
"Um…I don't think I can do that. Hey, you know how it is. You're a teenager, you experiment with things. Like, you know, blood magic and stuff like that…"
"Enough! Just…go on."
Librarian: [Sighs.] I'll put them on her tab. [Summons a scroll and writes on it.] By the way, we're closing early for the Wailing Star meteor shower. [Gestures to a framed picture of the Wailing Star.]
Luz: Ooh. What's that?
Librarian: You're in a library. Read a book.
Camila let out a disapproving noise. She hated it when people refused to do their jobs properly. She especially hated librarians who thought that it was their job to be the fun police, and shush people when they were making noise, and not answer any of their actual research questions. And then rat you out to the police when they thought your questions were suspicious. Camila was just curious about neuromuscular poisons! She was interested in them academically, that's all!
[His scroll rolls up and disappears.]
Luz: I am in a library. I will read a book. [Runs off.]
Librarian: Shh!
[Cut to a banner reading "Demon Decimal System DO NOT FEED." Luz rounds the corner and walks up to the growling card catalogues, feeding one a gum ball.]
Luz: Bloop.
[It gladly chews it for a few seconds before barfing up notecards. Cut to a study area, where several Hexside students are reading. Luz, standing on the balcony above them, grabs onto one of the dozens of books flying around.]
Luz: Wow! [Screaming.]
People: Shh!
Luz: [Screams.] Sorry!
[Cut to the reference section, where witches are watching things on crystal balls. One is watching a "HOW TO FLY" video, another is watching a piano cat parody, and a third is stuck on a loading screen, dial-up internet noises emitting from it. The last witch slaps the crystal ball a few times. Luz is watching them from around a bookshelf.]
Camila looked upon the scene with interest. The more Luz spent in the Demon Realm, the more she was struck by its eerie similarities to the Human Realm at times. Was it just a coincidence, or was something deeper at play?
Luz: This place is amazing.
Amity: [Offscreen.] 'What do you think you're doing?'
Amity blinked. She had no idea Luz had been watching her for that long.
Luz: [Gasps.] I've been caught. Pretend to be a book. [Poses.]
"Subtle," Hunter deadpanned.
[Kids giggling.]
Luz: Wait. [Walks forward.]
[Amity is reading to a group of baby-class students.]
Amity: "We're your friends and we wanna help," said the Tin Boy with a yelp. Otabin smiled and paced the floor. "I've never had real friends before."
Camila could not help but smile. This was the first time she'd really seen Amity relaxed in the memories so far. This was more of the Amity she'd gotten to know in real life, someone who was quite comfortable in her own skin. And she was so good with the kids! Though obviously it would not be actually happening for quite a few years, Camila could not stop herself from thinking about how Amity would be as a mother to Luz's children.
Luz: Amity reading to kids?
[Luz sneaks into the kid's corner as Amity reads.]
Amity: "Then we'll be your first," the Chicken Witch clucked. Otabin couldn't believe his luck. So, Bookmaker Otabin surrounded by friends, bound a book of friendship and that's the end.
[She closes the book to applause from the kids.]
"Reading to the kids was one of my favorite things," Amity reminisced. "They didn't judge me. I didn't have to worry about fulfilling their expectations. I didn't have to strive for perfection with them. In their eyes, I was already perfect."
"Perhaps when we've gotten you settled in, I can see about having you volunteer at our local library, Amity?" Camila suggested.
Amity's eyes lit up. "I would love that!"
Luz: Amity seems so...nice and smiley. [Gasps.] Maybe I can befriend her like Azura befriended her rival. [Grunts and ducks down as the kids leave.]
Kid #1: Thank you so much.
[Laughing.]
Kid #2: Good‐bye.
Braxas: [Hugging Amity's leg.] Goodbye, Miss Amity. Thank you.
Vee let out a gasp. "That's Warden Wrath's son! I've seen him around the Conformatorium. Wrath lets him go wherever he likes there."
Amity felt an instinctive need to protect Braxas from Vee, and she didn't like it. She'd tried to overlook her instincts to be afraid of Vee just because she was a basilisk. She obviously had some ways to go before she'd be able to drop them fully. "Braxas is really young, Vee. He's too young to know what his father is doing is wrong."
"I know, but…" Vee trailed off. "It still hurts," she admitted. Camila hugged her.
Amity wondered what would happen to Braxas when Wrath was arrested. And it would be a when, Amity would ensure it. There was no way she'd let him get away with his crimes.
Amity: [Pats his head.] Thank you, Braxas. See you next time.
Braxas: [Runs off.] Yay!
[Amity watches him go. She quickly looks to the side, then does a double take at Luz hiding under a book. Amity's normal attitude returns.]
Amity: Ugh! You.
"Sorry, Luz," Amity said with a half-smile. "But I really don't like surprises."
Luz: Amity... [Stands and leans on a book, making it fall.] Whoop. Reading to kids. Wow. Looks like this sour lemon drop has a hidden sweet center.
Luz cringed. She really needed to work on her metaphors and/or her flirting. If that was what she was doing. She wasn't consciously trying to pursue Amity romantically, but Luz was not blind. Even in full bully mode, Amity was still strikingly beautiful. Maybe a part of her was interested in her that way, even back then.
Amity: It's for extra credit. [Picks up the book Luz dropped.] Don't get your leggings in a bunch. [Walks to the back of the room.]
Luz: [Follows her.] Hey, I could help with the kids. We could take turns reading. And do voices. I do the best [Robotic tone.] monster voice.
Amity: [Slams her pile of books on a table.] Human! [Faces Luz.] Do you see me going to the Owl Shack and bugging you while you... fry up owls?
"I'm not always the best at coming up with comebacks under pressure," Amity admitted.
[Scoffs.] Okay, I don't really know what you do there, but every time you come near me, I get in trouble. Just leave me alone.
Luz sighed. Amity was right. Every time she tried to get involved in someone's life, including her own, it just seemed to make things get worse. It was like the universe hated her. Like she was just a pawn in some demented game or a character in a cartoon.
Luz: [Backs up.] I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[Luz walks away. Amity starts to raise her hand to stop her, but doesn't.]
Luz: [Groans and bumps her fist against her forehead.] So much for befriending rivals.
Edric: [Offscreen.] You gonna let her get to you like that?
[Luz looks over and sees Edric and Emira.]
Amity let out a gasp and paused the "video." She pressed her hand against the screen, drinking in the image of her siblings. Alador had taken them back to Hexside to hide there with the other students. She had no idea whether they were alive or dead.
"That's my siblings Edric and Emira," she explained to Camila. "I…I insisted they be taken to safety. I begged my dad to take them to safety." She could feel the tears streaming down her face. "And now…now I don't even know…Titan, Luz, I don't even remember when the last time I said I loved them was!"
"Hey, it's okay," Luz said softly.
"They could be d-d-d-dead!" Amity bawled. "Dad could be dead! I could have lost my whole family!"
Luz shook her head family. "You did not. You have more family than just them. And they will be fine. The twins are probably out there leading the fight against the Collector as we speak! Who better than tricksters to defeat him?"
"Yeah…yeah, you're probably right," Amity said. She didn't really believe it, but she wanted to put this undignified display behind her as quickly as possible.
[They walk up to her, Edric holding a rabbit lunch bag.]
Luz: Who are you?
Edric: Well-wishers on a mission.
Emira: A noble quest.
Camila frowned. She didn't like the sound of this. They reminded her distinctly of some older kids who had tricked her into providing some of her papi's best tequila for a party, then sold her out to the cops to save their own asses. But she held her tongue since Amity was clearly distraught by her siblings' absence.
Edric: Watch this. Hey, Mittens.
[Amity grunts as her face turns bright red.]
"Titan, I'd give anything right now for him to call me that again," Amity said.
Edric: [Holds up the lunch bag.] Mom says stop forgetting your lunch. And stop being a jerk to your friend.
Amity scoffed. "Like she'd say anything but the exact opposite."
"Did your mom really make you lunch?" Luz said. Such a maternal gesture seemed wildly out of character for Odalia.
Amity shook her head. "More like she ordered a servant to do it for her."
Amity: [Stalks over and grabs the bag.] She is not my friend.
[Luz looks down at the floor, but looks back up when Emira puts an arm around her.]
Emira: Yeah, makes sense. She seems too cool for you.
"This was the first time anyone had ever called me cool," Luz said. Camila sighed. Why could no one else see how incredible Luz was? Why did it take her running away to another dimension for people to see such an obvious thing?
Luz: I am?
Amity: You can leave now. All of you. [Walks back into the kid's corner.]
[Emira chuckles. Edric winks at Luz. Luz chuckles and blushes.]
Amity roared at the screen. "That bastard!" she shouted.
"Amity, language!" Camila snapped.
Luz's face felt uncomfortably warm and she fanned herself. She couldn't help it. Amity getting jealous and possessive was just so hot. Up to a point, of course. She didn't want Amity to go full on yandere on her.
[Cut to the three of them walking around.]
Edric: So, you're the human we've heard so much about.
Emira: I'm Emira. And this is Edric. We're Amity's older siblings. We heard how you embarrassed her at the school and at the witch covention last week.
Camila was a bit confused. She could understand how word had leaked back to them from the Covention; that had been a public display. But how had word leaked to them about the school incident? Unless… "Amity, do you think your mother told them about that?" she asked.
Amity sighed and nodded. "It was a favorite tool of hers. Playing us off against each other. It took a long time for us to figure it out."
No wonder she hates you.
Luz: I know. But, uh, I didn't mean any of it. I thought we were as cool as cucumbers. But we're as sour as pickles.
Emira: Don't waste your time with Mittens. Me and Ed, we're way more fun. Follow us.
[The three of them walk off, Luz looking down at where Emira is holding her wrist. Cut to a sign reading "- FICTION NON-FICTION-". Edric wipes away the "NON" and hides as Gary, a second librarian walks up, leading patrons.]
Gary: And here we go towards our nonfiction section. [Gasps when he sees the sign.] Fiction, fiction? Is our world but fiction? Then what in my life is real anymore? [Sobbing.]
Camila used every ounce of her self-control not to burst out laughing. That wasn't the mature thing to do. She just had to keep telling herself that.
[Cut to where the librarian is reading while shelving books. As he puts one on the shelf, it glows blue and flies back onto the reshelving cart. This happens several times before Emira is revealed to be doing it, her, Edric, and Luz all laughing. Edric switches the places of the two librarians.]
Gary: Huh? No! Not again! [Sobbing.]
"Maybe I shouldn't have done that," Luz admitted. "But you have to admit, he kind of overreacted."
[The librarian falls off a ladder. Cut to Edric holding up a dusty book. He blows the dust at the demon decimal system, which all sneeze, showering the area with notecards.]
Luz: Whoo!
[They all laugh as Luz dances and the twins high five.]
"I have to admit I had a lot of fun," Luz said. "Your siblings know how to have a good time, Amity, even if they took it too far. And they thought I was fun! Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. I should have known…"
Amity: Hey!
[Amity is standing next to the librarian, both of them with their arms crossed. He looks around.]
Librarian: [Growls.] Wait. Where's Gary?
Gary: [Runs in.] Coming. Nooo! [Sobbing.]
[Cut to the front entrance, where Luz and the twins are shoved out.]
"We probably deserved that," Luz conceded.
All: Whoa!
Librarian: You've made reading far too fun. Now, stay out.
"What?!" Camila said indignantly. "Reading should be fun! That's not a reason to kick people out!"
"Some of the books in the library are quite dangerous," Amity explained. "If people get too complacent, they could get hurt."
While Camila supposed this was a legitimate point, it still seemed like their priorities were messed up. Either way, she didn't disapprove of the decision to kick Luz out itself. She was definitely being too disruptive.
[The door slams shut. The three of them look at it for a second before laughing. Emira punches Luz's shoulder.]
Luz: Amity's even madder at me now. I didn't think that was possible.
Edric: No, when Mittens gets mad, she looks like this. [Inhales sharply, grunting as his face turns red; exhales.] Whoa, I almost passed out.
"I don't look like that when I get angry!" Amity protested. Luz and Willow shifted nervously, not wanting to be the first one to point out that she, in fact, did look like that.
Emira: You're pretty fun, human.
[She and Edric nod at each other.]
Emira: So, hey, we're coming back tonight. There's a certain book we forgot to... check out.
Edric: And bonus, rumor has it the Wailing Star's supposed to unlock some rare magical event. You in, friend?
"I wonder why they wanted me there in the first place," Luz said. "I mean, it couldn't have been just to mess with you, right, Amity? They must have actually liked me, at least a little?"
Amity shrugged. Even now, Edric and Emira were a near total enigma to her. Not that she'd made too many efforts to figure them out. She had her pride, to say nothing of her sanity.
Luz: Sure.
Edric: Great. Meet back here at midnight. See you, Luz.
[The twins leave. Luz waves at them.]
Luz: Bye. This is great. First, I befriend the siblings then I befriend the Amity. [Squeals and runs off.]
[Amity is standing around the corner, likely having seen the whole thing. She holds her breath until her face turns red.]
Amity: [Grunts.] Phew! Almost passed out.
Luz opened her mouth to speak. "Don't say a word!" Amity snapped. Luz closed her mouth.
[Luz enters the Owl House.]
Luz: I just had the best day. Cool teens like me. Call me a library book 'cause they were checking me out.
"THEY WERE NOT!" Amity shouted. "Their interest in you was purely platonic and that is final!"
"Whatever you say, Amity," Luz said with a chuckle.
[She looks over at the couch.]
Luz: Aw, Eda, you look so motherly.
Eda: Say that again and I steal your tongue.
Luz couldn't help but wonder what Eda's response would have been if she said that now. She knew Eda thought of her as her daughter in all but name, just as Luz thought of her as her mother in all but name. And now the two of them may never see each other again. And it was all Luz's fault.
Luz: [Walks over.] Aw. How can you say that around this cute little baby?
[Luz repeatedly pokes the baby bat. It wakes up and barfs out a smaller version of itself, as does that version. They all chirp and flap their wings.]
Luz: [Recoils.] Whoa!
[The bats fly upwards, still chirping. One of them breathes fire. Eda, King, and Luz all scream and run away from the couch, which is the unfortunate target. Luz runs for the door.]
Luz: [Putting her messenger bag on.] Parenting sure looks rewarding. E-Enjoy your life lessons. Bye.
Camila thanked her lucky stars Luz didn't breathe fire as a baby. She wouldn't have lasted past her truly terrible twos.
[She closes the door as she leaves.]
Cut to the library that night, crickets chirping. Luz is pacing next to a pillar.]
Luz: Gotta be cool. [Rests her arm on the pillar.] Cool? [Shakes her head and facepalms.] No. [Leans against the pillar.] Cool. [Grunts as she kneels down while throwing a peace sign; groans and drops her head.]
"I should have realized by that point it was an exercise in futility," Luz groused.
"Hey, Luz, it's one thing to look cool, but actually being cool, that's something else entirely," Gus said. "You've done so many awesome things since you came to the Isles!"
"Yeah, so what if people think you're weird?" Hunter said. "Or a dork. Or strange. Or…"
"Thank you, Hunter."
Emira: Keep going.
Luz: Huh? [Falls.]
Emira: [Leaning against the opposite pillar.] This is fun to watch.
Edric: You ready to bring this whole, uh, whatever you're doing, inside?
Luz: [Nods.] Mm-hmm-mm-hmm.
Luz did a facepalm. She had really been making a fool of herself, didn't she? She couldn't help it, though. Edric and Emira seemed so effortlessly cool, and they sure as hell weren't bad to look at either, not that she'd ever tell Amity that. Best not take any chances.
[They all approach the door.]
Edric: It says no trespassing but I'm allergic to the rules. [Pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Emira.]
"I hope you aren't going to make a habit of breaking into things here, Luz," Camila said sternly. "It was one thing to break into the Conformatorium, since you were being coerced into it. But this crosses a line. You had no good reason to do this."
"I'm sorry, mom," Luz said, looking at the floor. "I just wanted them to like me."
Camila instantly softened, remembering things she'd done to make that happen back when she was a teenager. "Oh, mija. If people want you to commit crimes to like you, they're not worth it."
"Yeah, well…I wasn't spoiled for choice."
"Don't give me that," Camila shot back. "You had Gus and Willow. You knew what you were doing here was wrong." Luz hesitated for a few seconds, then nodded.
Emira: And dairy.
"Me too!" Luz said. "I'm lactose intolerant!" She must have been really flustered not to have even thought of bringing that up.
Edric: Wow, okay. Just expose me.
[The paper glows. Emira puts it against the lock on the door. The paper crumbles.]
Luz: Wow!
[The lock grows until it's large enough for them to walk through.]
Edric: Come on.
[The lock shrinks back down once they all enter. Cut to inside.]
Luz: Standing in a dimly lit lobby. You guys know how to party.
Edric: There. The Wailing Star!
[The Wailing Star sobs as it passes the stained glass window.]
"Huh. I thought it would be a metaphor," Camila admitted.
Luz: Whoa.
[The three of them look around for several seconds as the books slowly begin glowing green.]
Edric: Hmm. Nothing happened.
Luz: Wait. [Grabs a book titled Extinct Birds of the Boiling Isles.] The books are all glowy.
Hunter opened his mouth. "Glowy is a word!" Luz said before he could say a word. "It is! You don't have any proof it's not!"
[She opens the book. Almost immediately, something screeches as the birds in the book come to life. They fly around the lobby.]
Emira: Wow!
Edric: Wow. The Wailing Star magicked the books to life.
[Luz, still watching the birds, closes the book. The birds disappear. The three of them share a look, and then grins. Cut to a magazine stand. Edric opens Regal Couture, which dresses him and Emira in fancy clothing.]
"I have got you to wear one of those, Amity," Luz said.
Amity nodded enthusiastically. Not only would she do basically anything for her girlfriend, but the idea of looking better in the outfit than Emira was just too tempting to pass up.
[A peacock flies out of it. Luz grabs Witch Wares Weekly and gets a giant sword, among other things. Luz yelps as she falls over. Cut to the three of them standing next to the graphic novel section. Luz opens one.]
Luz: Nothing happened.
[Her words appear in a dialogue bubble.]
Luz shuddered. She remembered that incident. It was accompanied by a feeling of horrifying existential dread, as if the veil from her reality was being thrown back, revealing the true nature of herself as a character in a cartoon made by Disney lasting two seasons and an unjustly shortened third one. True, that was an oddly specific feeling, but she had felt it before. She knew what it was like.
[They all gasp when it appears, the twins taking steps back.]
Edric and Emira: Wow!
[That too comes out in a word bubble. Both pop when Luz closes the book, a "THUMP" sound bubble appearing as she does. Cut to Luz holding Snowballs, a History. She looks around a corner and sees Edric, holding the same book.]
Luz: Ha!
[She opens the book, pelting Edric with snowballs.]
Edric: [Grunts, falls; opens book and returns fire.] Ah!
Luz: Ah! [Runs.]
[She's safe for a second before Emira appears, opening yet another copy of Snowballs, a History directly in Luz's face. Luz yelps and Emira giggles. Edric and Emira laugh as they run past the kid's corner. Luz stands from where she was hiding behind a shelf and notices "Otabin the Bookmaker", the book Amity had read to the kids, glowing on the table. She picks it up and opens it, and Otabin rises out of the pages. She smiles at him. Fade to Luz reading in the library.]
"In retrospect…not one of my better decisions," Luz admitted.
Luz: "...the pages he'd mend. But all the while he longed for a friend."
Otabin: [Threading a needle.] Friend?
Edric: Luz, check this out.
Emira: Look what we discovered.
[Emira opens a book called Quacks Eats Snacks. A duck swims out of the pages and around the floor, quacking happily.]
"Aw, look, it's a Sentient Duck," Vee said, then frowned. Why did she feel the need to capitalize that in her head?
Luz: Aw. Cute little quackster.
[Emira holds the book out to Edric, who has a pencil. He draws legs on the duck in the book. In the real world, the duck now has matching giant human legs. It quacks hysterically.]
Emira: Now he's extra cute. [Closes the book.]
[Edric and Emira laugh.]
Emira: Your turn, Luz.
Luz: [Backing away from them.] I don't know.
Edric: [Offering his pencil.] Come on. Don't stop the fun.
[Luz takes the pencil hesitantly and opens Otabin. She looks at the drawing of him on the page.]
Luz: [Sighs.] I can't do it.
"I mean, come on. It's defacing a book," Luz explained. "Literature is sacred to me."
Edric: Let me help.
[Luz grunts. Edric grabs her hand and draws angry eyebrows and claws on Otabin. Something starts to rise out of the pages, but Luz slams it closed.]
Luz: [Grunts.] I don't wanna see it.
Emira: Whatever. We didn't come here just to doodle. Come on.
[Emira takes Luz's hand and leads the way. Luz drops the book face down. A clawed hand grows out of the book, and whatever it is growls. Cut to the romance section.]
Luz: Oh, wow. Boiling Isles romance. That's totally lame. I mean, unless you guys are into it?
"I totally don't read romance novels secretly, definitely not!" Hunter said extremely quickly. Why were those words even coming out of his mouth?
Edric: I think I'm into this one.
[Pulls a book titled The Lone Witch & Secret Room. Something clicks. The bookshelf sinks back and slides away, revealing a secret room.]
Amity clenched her fists. How had they even found out about her hideout in the first place? She suspected Odalia was behind it. This had one of her manipulations written all over it.
Luz: Wow! That's a good book.
[Luz enters the room as the twins lean against the entrance.]
Luz: Your clubhouse is like my ultimate secret hideaway.
Edric: We don't hang out in a library. "Uh, teacher, I'm in love with a dictionary."
Luz burst out laughing. Edric was basically the biggest closet nerd she knew, even bigger than Hunter. He just goofed off because it was a way to rebel against his mother's expectations. He was actually extremely talented in his studies when properly motivated.
Emira: "I'm studying the dork arts." This is Amity's secret hideaway.
[Luz looks worried.]
Edric: Mittens has gotten too... full of herself. She keeps tattling on us when we cut class.
"Yes, heaven forbid I make sure the rules are enforced," Amity said, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. "Next thing you know, we have…have…"
"Imposter abominations coming in and stealing your badge from you?" Willow suggested.
"Yes! I mean no! I mean…"
Willow patted Amity on the shoulder. "It's okay, Am. I know what you mean."
Emira: She needs to learn not to mess with people like that. So, we're going to find her diary.
Edric: And then post the pages all around school for everyone to see.
Camila's mouth dropped open. This didn't just cross a line, it summersaulted all the way over it! That diary was Amity's private thoughts, probably the only way she could safely get out her feelings. And these reprobates wanted to steal this security from her! And they'd tricked Camila's lucecita into helping them! The only thing right now saving them from getting the chancla was the fact they were minors. (And the fact they were a dimension away, but that was an unimportant detail.)
[Edric and Emira laugh.]
Luz: What? Isn't that taking it a bit too far?
Emira: No. See, we're her family. It's tough love. She needs to learn to lighten up.
"That is not tough love," Camila stated. "That is bullying."
"Oh, but Mrs. Noceda, I did deserve it. I said all those nasty things…"
"No," Camila said so sternly that Amity jumped a little. "No, querida," she said in a much more gentle tone. "No child deserves to be humiliated that way. Least of all an incredible young lady such as yourself."
[The twins start to look around.]
Luz: Hmm. Well, I—I don't see any diaries in here. [Half-heartedly looks around.] Nope, nothin'. Let's just leave. Wait, are those... [Squeals.] Good Witch Azura books one through four! You get these on the Boiling Isles? So majestic. [Grabs a book.] Is this cover hand-drawn?
[The cover is of Amity dressed as Azura. Luz opens it, and a small version of Amity rises from the pages.]
"Sorry, Amity, I tried," Luz said, cringing.
Amity's Diary: I saw that... human girl again.
"Hmm, I wonder how that made you feel," Luz said teasingly.
"However she might have felt, that is her business and hers alone," Camila said firmly.
Amity nodded in agreement with Camila. Her extremely confusing feelings had made things exceptionally difficult for her. She'd honestly prefer to put them all in the past if possible.
Luz: The diary.
Amity's Diary: I may have overreacted. I don't wanna come off as cruel. I just can't show weakness.
"Well, mission unaccomplished there," Gus snapped before he could stop himself. Amity bowed her head in shame.
Luz: No. [Closes it.]
Edric: What've you got there, Luz?
Luz: [Hides the diary behind her back.] Oh. N-Nothing. Just a Good Witch Azura 5 where she goes through her Goth phase.
"You're thinking of fanart right now, aren't you?" Amity said.
"You know me so well!"
[The diary glows blue and flies out of her hands.]
Luz: Huh? No, wait.
[Emira catches the diary and hands it to Edric, who opens it.]
Amity's Diary: It's not fair. I'm the only one who knows Ed and Em aren't perfect. Why do they keep getting away with things?
"Because, again, their mom is on the PCA," Gus said. "It's really not that complicated."
It was actually more complicated than that for Amity. It wasn't just that they got out of trouble. It was the double standard her parents gave her. Odalia just kept on heaping all sorts of pressure on Amity, even though it should have been on the shoulders of her older siblings, because they'd refused to play the role they'd been born to play. And deep down, at the bottom of it all, was jealousy. Jealousy that they had the courage to defy their parents when Amity could not, even for the sake of her best friend.
Edric and Emira: This is it.
Emira: Luz, were you hiding this from us?
Edric: You see how she treats people. How she treats you.
"It's not like they treated people any better," Amity defended herself.
Luz: I know Amity can be kind of cold but no one deserves this. These are private thoughts. Let's put it back.
"Luz, I'm very proud of you for having the courage to stick to your convictions," Camila told her. "I know how insidious peer pressure can be. How it can turn you into a person you're not. Participating in such a horrible scheme…it would be something you never could take back. You'd have regretted it for the rest of your life."
"It was hard," Luz admitted. "A part of me did want to do it. To see a bully get what they deserve."
"Oh, I know how that feels. When I was your age, I burned –"
Luz put up a hand. "I can really only handle one psychotic rant from you a day, okay, mami?" Camila gave a chuckle and nodded. "Anyway, I thought about how I'd feel if someone did that to me…and I couldn't do it."
[Luz grabs the diary and pulls, but Edric doesn't let go. They both pull at it, Emira tugging Edric's waist.]
Edric: She needs this.
[Luz grunts.]
Emira: It's for her own good.
"WHAT I NEEDED WERE MY SIBLINGS!" Amity shouted. She gave a nervous laugh. "Uh, sorry."
"That's all right, cariño," Camila said. "I understand."
[Luz grunts. Pages spill onto the floor, and Luz looks at them in concern.]
Luz paused the video. "Okay, everyone out!" Everyone filed out without any protest except for Luz and Amity, since Luz had already heard the diary's contents.
Amity's Diary: "I wish I had somewhere to go." "Why won't the human leave me alone?" "Called my teacher mom again." "Sorry I haven't written for a while. Wait, why am I apologizing?"
[The pages repeat themselves as Luz hurries to pick them all back up. Amity approaches the doorway as she is collecting them.]
"We're good, you can come back in!" Luz called out, and everyone returned.
Amity: [Furious.] Really?
Luz: Argh. It's not what it looks like.
[Edric and Emira giggle.]
Amity: [Angry.] You two are the worst. [Takes her diary from Luz, sounding hurt.] But you... I've been trying to figure out what your deal is. Are, are you a poser? A nerd? I know. You're a bully, Luz. [Runs off.]
"Wow, projection much?" Hunter said. Amity scowled at him, but couldn't think of a suitable retort. Probably because he was right.
Luz: Amity! [Starts going after her but stops.]
[Edric and Emira laugh.]
Emira: Mittens killed the fun.
Edric: Again. Oh, well. We're headed out to go goblin‐tipping. Wanna come?
Luz: You're just gonna leave?
Emira: Yeah, with you.
[Emira grabs Luz's wrist again. This time, she tugs her hand back.]
Luz: Look, you guys are cool.
Edric and Emira: [Nods.] Mm-hmm.
Luz: But I need to go talk to Mittens. I mean, Amity.
"Aw," Amity said. "Thanks for looking out for me, Luz."
Emira: All right. [Winks.] See you around, cutie.
"I'm going to kill her when I see her again!" Amity shouted.
"Just for reading your diary?" Camila asked, a note of whimsy in her voice. If Amity thought she was subtle, she clearly had another thing coming.
"Uh, yes," Amity said, looking around nervously. "Just for that. Nothing else."
[Her and Edric leave. Luz blushes, then runs off after Amity.]
Luz studied Camila's face carefully to see if she reacted to Luz reacting the exact same way to a flirtation from a girl than she did to one from a boy, but she didn't appear to notice at all.
[Cut to a random aisle of books, where Amity is walking.]
Luz: [Rounding the corner.] Amity, wait.
Amity: First you embarrass me. Then you wanna be my friend? I don't get you. Pick a side.
"I am on the side of righteousness!" Luz said grandly. "For I am Luz Noceda, warrior of peace!"
Amity giggled. "You're such a dork!"
"Yeah, but you like that about me."
"I do," Amity said with a dreamy sigh. Camila really hoped she was going to admit her crush to Luz and/or Camila soon, because this was just degenerating into farce.
Luz: Please, just listen to me.
Amity: Just go away before things somehow get worse.
[Loud footsteps.]
"You just had to say something," Hunter said.
"Yeah, Amity, saying things like that is always a terrible sign in human horror movies!" Vee said.
Amity looked at her. "Horror movies?"
"Oh, yeah!" Vee said. "Oh, we've got to show you some. You'll all get a kick out of them! Friday the 13th, Alien, Cars…"
"Cars?!" Luz said.
Vee shuddered. She still had nightmares about those anthropomorphic cars. But it was better than having nightmares about being tortured, so she wasn't about to complain.
Luz: Huh?
[The monstrous form of Otabin created by Edric's drawing snarls as it steps into the aisle. His heart beats loudly, his book pulsing with it.]
Amity: Otabin?
Otabin: With claws and fangs and breaking bones, I found a friend to make my own. [Grabs Amity.]
Amity: [Grunts.] Luz! [Screams.]
Amity shuddered at the memory. Luz had faced down creatures like Adegast and the Owl Beast before this, but this was the first time she'd ever been in danger. Well, more than was typical for the Isles anyway. She still had nightmares about it.
Luz: Amity!
Amity: Luz!
Luz: Amity. Huh?
[Looks down at Amity's diary. Cut to Amity getting slammed against a giant book. Amity grunts, then gasps. Otabin is holding a large needle, threaded with a giant ball of thread. He raises the needle and lowers it in Amity's direction. Amity yelps. He sews her arm into the book.]
"Oh, it's just a library," Camila mocked herself. "Surely they can't get into any sort of mortal danger there. ¡Estúpida!"
Amity: Huh? [Gasps.] Why are you doing this? I've been reading you since I was a kid. I know you're not like this. Someone changed you.
Otabin: But friends are what I've always sought. And now a friend my claws have caught.
[A rumbling attracts both their attentions. A purple cloud rolls in, a figure in white robes and hat landing with it. The cloud blinds Otabin for a moment.]
Amity: [Gasps.] Azura?
"You really had me going there for a moment," Amity admitted.
Luz: [Holding Amity's diary.] Close. [Pulls at the robes.] Is a drawn okay? I kind of interpreted the descriptions.
Amity: Luz!
Luz: Ah, right. [Writing in the diary.] The good witch, Luzura, grabs her trusty staff.
Luz flinched at the name she'd given Belos when they'd met in the past. Thankfully for her, no one seemed to notice.
[A staff rises from the pages and she grabs it.] All right, beloved work of children's fiction. Let go of her.
[She runs at Otabin, yelling and grunting while swinging the staff around theatrically. Otabin catches the staff before she even gets close enough to hit him and throws it behind him. He grabs the diary and gently closes it. Luz's Azura costume disappears.]
Luz: [Chuckles nervously.] Not an Azura fan, are you?
"No taste," Amity said contemptuously.
"None at all," Luz agreed.
[Luz grunts as she's slammed into the page opposite of Amity's. Otabin sews one of her arms in.]
Otabin: Making friends, taking friends, never be without my friends.
Luz: You fiend. You can't rhyme friends with friends.
"That's what was bothering you?!" Willow shouted.
Amity: Great work, Luzura.
Luz: Hey! I was trying to save you.
Amity: Well, it doesn't matter. We're gonna be stuck together forever.
"I can think of worse fates," Luz teased. Amity's face went red.
[Luz looks at her sewn in arm, numb. She moves it, the page going with it, and brightens back up.]
Luz: No, we aren't. Follow my lead. [Slams her feet against the book.] One.
Amity: What are you doing?
Luz: Two. Three.
[Amity and Luz both yell as the book goes down, hitting Otabin in the head. When he recovers, the book is gone.]
Otabin: [Running after them.] Come back!
"Why do people say that?" Vee wondered. "Has that ever worked once in the history of time?"
[Cut to Luz and Amity running through the library, still sewn to the book. They duck behind a small shelf.]
Amity: [Grunts.] Now what?
Luz: I don't know. I didn't even think that would work. I was all like "roaaar."
Amity: [Stares at her and chuckles.]
"Aw, you were starting to warm up to me even then," Luz said, squeezing Amity's cheeks.
[Luz grins. The moment is ruined when Otabin's needle pierces the page next to Luz's head and she yells.]
Otabin: Friends. [Growls.]
[He uses the needle and thread like a fishing line, pulling the book towards him. Amity and Luz both yell as the book is tugged over the shelf and onto the floor. Luz tries to tear at the string keeping her arm down. Amity grabs onto a ladder, then hooks her legs around it, pulling her arm free and launching her into a return cart.]
Amity: Luz!
Luz: Me!
Luz did a facepalm. What was it about Blights that made her act like such an idiot?
[Otabin grabs the book and pulls it completely toward him. Luz tries to kick at his chest. Otabin grabs the needle and pulls it through.]
Otabin: You squirm and fight, and scream and shout. But friendship always will win out.
[Luz whimpers as the rest of her limbs are tied down. The thread wraps around Luz's head. Otabin slowly pulls it tight, and Luz braces for it. Amity rides in on the book return cart.]
Otabin: [Looking up.] Huh?
[Amity screams. Otabin is launched into a bookshelf, which falls on him. He struggles under it. Amity pulls the string keeping Luz down off the book.]
Luz: Oh. Third dimension how I've missed you.
Otabin: [Shoves the bookshelf off of him.] We must stay friends until the end. There is no tear I cannot mend.
Luz: Gulp.
[She yells as Otabin grabs her again. He wraps the thread around her.]
Amity: [Gasps, pulls a pencil out of her pocket and writes in the giant book.] "Luz has to right a wrong."
[A giant magic eraser rises out of the book. Amity catches it.]
Amity: Luz, quick. [Tosses the eraser.]
[Luz catches it and erases Edric's drawings on the page of the book. Otabin returns to normal, and everything falls to the floor. Luz catches Otabin and places him on his feet. Amity walks over and picks him up.]
Otabin: I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me.
Amity: Hey, it's okay. We're still friends.
[Amity nods to Luz, who closes the book. Otabin disappears, making Amity look sad. Luz walks over to her and grins. Cut to morning as Luz and Amity leave the library.]
Luz: What an adventure. Thanks for helping clean up.
Amity: This never happened.
"But it did!" Luz said in a singsong voice. "And it was awesome!" Camila rolled her eyes.
Luz: Wait. It doesn't make up for reading your diary but would you wanna borrow this? [Holds out Azura 5.] I noticed you only had up to four.
"Azura 5 is the best book in the series!" Amity said eagerly. "It's filled with death defying action, extremely witty repartee, and most importantly, Hezura finally becoming canon! In the Labyrinth of Forever, Azura –"
Camila raised a hand. "Sweetie, I like your enthusiasm, but, uh, don't take this personally, but if you're anything like Luz when she's talking about the books, we could be here all day."
"Or longer!" Luz added chirpily.
Amity: [Takes it.] Thank you. [Starts to walk away, stops; sighs and turns around.] Maybe you aren't a bully. I haven't exactly been the friendliest witch either. I'll think on that. [Walks away.]
"They say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step," Luz said wisely.
[Luz grabs onto her messenger bag strap as she watches Amity leave. Cut to Luz entering the Owl House.]
Luz: Hi, guys. I'm...
[Everyone is asleep, snoring, on the green couch, Eda holding the baby bats and King on her lap.]
Luz: home. [Smiles at them.]
"What happened here?" Willow wondered.
"Usually I've found that the answer to that question, when Eda is involved is, you don't want to know. I have a hunch this probably isn't any different."
[The door bangs open.]
Hooty: Ding-dong!
Luz: Hooty.
[A giant woman's head with bat wings crawls into the living room.]
Luz: Whoa. You must be Mama.
Bat Queen: Yi Yi. Mama is I. And I is the Bat Queen. [Whistles.]
"I thought she'd be smaller," Vee admitted. "Even in the Conformatorium, we heard tales of the Bat Queen, but I didn't think she was that big."
[The baby bats fly away from Eda, settling into Bat Queen's hair.]
Bat Queen: Aah! Snuggle dumplings.
[She throws up a treasure chest, which opens to show several hundred snails. Bat Queen spits an Aztec death whistle on top of the snails.]
Bat Queen: For troubles. Eda is owed one.
"I don't think she ever actually repaid that favor," Luz mused. "Too bad I didn't think of it. We could have really used her help against Belos."
[She squeezes back out of the doorway and flies away. Luz closes the door.]
Eda: [Sleep-talking.] Ah. Sweet babies. [Wakes up.] Babies? Where are the babies?
[Luz mimes flying away.]
Eda: Oh. And I just taught Junior how to pick locks too.
Camila hoped Eda was just joking. Somehow she suspected she was not. She suddenly sat bolt upright. "Luz, she didn't teach you to break locks, did she?"
"Well, yeah," Luz said, bewildered as to why this was a problem. "How was I supposed to bust her out of jail if she got caught?"
Luz: Your night looks very successful. Look at all that money you made. And look at this cool whistle that scary woman gave you. [Spit drops off the whistle.] I'd wash it before you use it.
Eda: Yeah. We did it all for the money.
King: I miss my babies. [Hugs Eda.]
Luz: I actually got you something from the library.
[She hands Eda a book titled Coping with Empty Nest Syndrome.]
"I picked it up because I thought she might get attached…"
"Oh, how thoughtful of you, Luz!" Camila said.
"To me," Luz finished. "And, uh, since I was leaving after the summer was over, and I didn't know if or when I'd ever come back, I just wanted her to be prepared."
"Still very thoughtful of you," Camila assured her. "You're a good person."
Eda: [Chuckles.] Thanks, kid. So, how was your night?
Luz: Good. Then bad. Then maybe good?
[Door squeaks.]
Hooty: Hey, you wanna hear about my night?
Camila shuddered at the very thought.
Luz: Ugh. No!
Eda: No!
King: That's not a thing anyone ever wants.
"Well, that was certainly a very…interesting episode," Camila noted. She looked over at Amity, who was looking very down. "You'll see them again, Amity. I'm sure of it." Amity nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
"Well, good news, mami! The next episode doesn't actually have me in mortal peril at all! Well, not technically."
Camila rolled her eyes. Her daughter really should learn to quit while she was ahead.
