"So I'd like to preface this one by saying this was actually all my fault," Gus said. "Luz just got sucked into my shenanigans for once."

"Yeah, it was a really weird reversal," Luz mused.

"Well, it can't have been that bad," Camila said with an optimism she frankly did not understand how she still felt.

Gus and Luz shared a nervous expression. "My fault," he said eventually. "Remember that." He downloaded memories onto the mirror.

[Open on a Hexside classroom, in which is the Human Appreciation Society. Various human items, incorrectly labelled, are on a desk. Among them are a cheese grater labeled "nail clippers", a bag of chips closed with a flip phone labelled "whoopie cushion", an upside down umbrella hat filled with leaves labelled "food bowl", a Rubik's Cube labelled "weapon?", and a paper clip labelled "pay-per-clorp".]

"So…where do I even start with that?" Camila wondered. "The so-called nail clipper is actually a cheese grater. That's a bag of chips – a snack food – and a flip phone – kind of like a scroll, I suppose." She pointed to the umbrella. "I'm…not even going to get into that one." She pointed at the Rubik's Cube. "That's a puzzle, not a weapon. And that's a paper clip, not a pay-per clorp."

Gus eagerly made notes on his scroll. The scrolls were still functional, running on solar power, but they didn't have access to Penstagram or anything that used the Demon Realm's equivalent to the internet.

"The two most powerful human weapons are the nuclear bomb and the chancla," Vee lectured. "You see, everything is made of these tiny particles called atoms, and those are made of subatomic particles. A nuclear bomb smashes those particles together and they explode. Even a tiny one can wipe out a whole city!"

All of the witches shared a horror filled look. "I'm gonna be a nuclear physicist when I grow up," Vee announced, heedless to their alarm. "Oh, and the chancla is a powerful weapon of pure justice and righteousness, unstoppable and inexorable. You'd best pray Mami doesn't ever bring it out. It'll be the last thing you'll ever see." Camila whistled innocently.

"Yikes," Amity said. "You humans are hardcore."

"I'm not a human," Vee reminded her.

"Yeah, but you're like an honorary human." Vee beamed at the compliment.

"Hey, don't look at me," Luz said. "I'm for nuclear disarmament."

Gus: Behold. The wonders of the human realm. [Picks up the paper clip.] This little fella's one of their most valued objects. It aids in the compiling of printed wisdom, the scratching of gunk from under your nails, and my favorite... It even mimics the sounds of the human ocean.

"It does not," Camila said. "Bizarrely enough, he did get the rest right.

[He proceeds to twang it.]

Gus: Aah! The human realm. So beautiful. [Walks over to the chalkboard.] It's safe to say that the pay-per-clorp is a stunning testament to human ingenuity. Any questions?

[He turns around to face the rest of the club. Eileen, Bo, and the unicorn Bard track student are all falling asleep, and Mattholomule looks thoroughly bored. He raises his hand.]

Gus: Ah! Our newest member: Mattholomule.

Gus sighed. At least Matt wasn't here to see what a jerk he looked like again. It was remembering things like this that made Gus question why he was friends with the guy now.

Mattholomule: A-Augustus, is this what the president of the Human Appreciation Society thinks passes as "Human Artifacts"?

[Gus looks confused.]

Mattholomule: Because at my old school, [Pushes aside Gus's stuff.] we had real treasures.

[Mattholomule empties his bag onto the desk, dumping out a rock painted to look like a cell phone, an egg with a skull painted on it, and a shoe made out of mud, leaves, and twigs. They're labelled "cellular phone", "human skull", and "sports footwear" respectively. The other members of the club gasp and lean closer to them.]

"Those are all fake!" Camila accused. "That hooligan. I hope you didn't stand for this, Gus."

"Well, good news, I didn't!" Gus said with a cheerful grin. "Bad news, I didn't."

Bo: So real.

Boy: Wow!

Bo: I—I wanna touch them.

Mattholomule: Go ahead. In my club, we didn't have any dumb rules.

"I don't even think he was a member of the HAS at his school," Gus said. Matt had been rather evasive about that after they'd become friends.

Gus: [Gasps and turns to his list of rules.] Shh. He didn't mean that.

[Gus glares at everyone touching Mattholomule's objects, then takes them away.]

Boy: Hey!

Bo: What?

[Eileen grunts.]

Gus: Well, this isn't your club. Thankfully.

Mattholomule: Exactly, who thinks I should be president?

Eileen: I do!

Bo: Mattholomule for prez.

"Ah, the will of the people is fickle and strange," Luz said.

"How did the concept of democracy get introduced to the Isles anyway?" Camila wondered. "I hardly think Belos introduced it."

Boy: I'm an undecided voter. I wanna touch all the objects first.

[Eileen and Bo talk over each other as Gus picks up the "phone".]

Gus: These are fakes.

Bo: [Gasps.] What?

Mattholomule: [Stammers.] You can't prove that! [Inhales.] You're just trying to distract these human appreciators. You're afraid of getting kicked out of office. It's your word versus mine.

[Eileen mumbles.]

Bo: I don't know what to believe in anymore.

Boy: My faith in Gus has been broken.

"If you had that little faith in my friend, you didn't deserve to be a part of the HAS in the first place!" Luz shouted.

[Gus walks backwards into the chalkboard. He looks at a newspaper clip with a picture of Luz on it.]

Gus: What if I brought in an expert?

Mattholomule: Yeah, right. Who can you find that's a bigger human expert than any of us?

Gus: How about a real human?

[Eileen mumbles.]

Bo: Why the secrets?

Boy: Show don't tell, man.

Mattholomule: Yeah. Uh-huh. A-And you've never brought your friend here. Why?

Gus: Well, she's busy. She's got a job. But I'll bring her in tomorrow. She'll prove I'm right.

"Hang on, weren't you banned from Hexside, Luz?" Camila said.

"Uh…" Gus said, sweating nervously.

Mattholomule: [Scoffs.] Ah, sure you will, Augustus. Sure you will.

[Gus grows visibly nervous.]

-THEME SONG-

[Cut to the Owl House living room, where Luz and Eda are rummaging through boxes. King is laying on the couch and Gus is standing in front of Luz.]

Luz: Gus, I'd love to go to school with you, but I don't know how I can. [Points to her banned poster.] Principal Bump banned me from Hexside.

Eda: But nothing. Bump did you a favor. There ain't nothing for you at that dweebus factory. [To Gus.] No offense, dweebus.

Gus: It's okay. I come from a long line of dweebuses.

Gus looked down at the floor, ashamed like that. He really shouldn't have been badmouthing his dad like that. Okay, sure, there were a lot of dweebuses in his family, but his dad had never been one of them. And now, there was no telling whether or not he'd ever see him again! He hadn't even told him where he was going when he went to confront Belos! Some son he was.

[Luz slams the box she's holding down, making it clatter. She stands and looks at Eda.]

Luz: Well, I would love to go some day. Better than unpacking boxes in the Eda Coven.

Eda: Oh, you think you're clever, huh? [Stands.]

King: Ooh! Fight, fight, fight!

Eda: Can it, King! First off, it's the "Bad Girl Coven" and second off, I guess you don't want in on the T-shirt order, huh?

"We're getting you all T-shirts when I get back," Luz decided. "Uh, I mean if I get back." She looked at Camila pleadingly, but Camila remained stone-faced. Until she understood everything that had happened, especially why everyone was finding the coven system so traumatizing, she would be making no decisions, as she had promised. No matter how much her heart hurt when Luz looked at her like that.

[She pulls out a piece of paper with a t-shirt drawn on it as rock music plays.]

Luz: I don't care about T-shirts, Eda! I want to learn magic, [Gestures to Gus.] and they teach that at Hexside!

Eda: I mean, yeah, well— [Grunts, leaves.] I don't wanna hear another word about Hexside, unless it's "Hexside is on fire" and "let's grab front row seats"!

"She had some bad memories from her time there," Luz explained. "She got bullied a lot by your mom, Amity."

"I guess some things are inherited," Amity said sadly.

"On the contrary, Amity," Camila said sharply. "Those behaviors are learned, and you have learned better since then."

[Door slams.]

King: Aw, look what you did. I'm gonna go rub it in. Nyeh! [Laughs, leaves.]

[Door opens and slams again. Luz sighs and sits on the couch.]

Gus: L-Luz, a-about the ban, I, uh, used my H. A. S. presidential authority to pull some strings. You've been given a full pardon!

"I don't understand why you even lied to me in the first place," Luz admitted. "I mean, you know me. Why did you think I had a problem with sneaking in?" Camila cleared her throat pointedly. "Uh, other than the fact that I am a person with a clear moral code that I've never ever compromised in, no way, no how, and sneaking into places is wrong."

"Nice save there, Luz," Camila said with a sarcastic slow clap.

Luz: You mean...

Gus: I got the ban lifted!

"I don't understand how you believed that," Gus said. "Listen to me! I'm terrible at lying!"

"Well, I suppose I didn't think my friend would lie to me," Luz snapped. Yeah, being deceived by Gus, even with good intentions, still smarted a little.

Luz: Oh my gosh. [Shakes Gus.] Yes, yes, yes!

[Gus grunts.]

Luz: Of course I'll be there tomorrow! Gus, this will be great! [Jumps on the couch.] I get to see the school and save the president.

Gus: Great! I'll see you tomorrow!

[Gus leaves.]

Gus: Yes! You did it, Gus! [Dances.] You did it, Gus You're the smartest You're the best

Hooty: Sweet moves, little dude.

Gus: [Yelps.] I always forget you're there.

"How?" Hunter wondered. "I mean, Hooty's a lot of things, including things that should not be. Forgettable is definitely not one of them." Gus just shrugged. He had no clue.

Hooty: I forget I'm here too. Boop.

Gus: [Stares at Hooty.] This is gonna work out after all.

[Cut to Willow and Gus standing outside of Hexside the next day.]

Willow: This isn't gonna work out at all.

"Ay, there you go, Gus," Camila said. "Listen to Willow."

"I've found 'listen to Willow' is usually a very effective plan," Hunter said.

"Aw, you're too sweet."

Gus: Well, I feel like I took care of any potential problems.

Willow: You lied to our best friend and told her you got the ban lifted. That seems like a potential problem to me.

"Thanks for looking out for me, Willow!" Luz said, touched at the mention of being their best friend. That was the first time anyone had ever called her that.

Gus: You don't understand. The members were going mad. They were bloodthirsty. They were touching objects. I had no choice!

Willow: Really? What about all the wanted posters around school?

Gus: [Pulls the wanted posters out of his bag.] What wanted posters? I also got this. [Pulls out a cowl.] To keep her undercover.

"I could have dressed up in my otter costume!" Luz suggested.

Camila stared at her, her face a mask of horror. "You brought your otter costume to Reality Check Camp?! What on earth possessed you?"

"Hey, it's not as bad as the fireworks," Luz pointed out.

"That is not helping your case, mija."

Luz: Undercover from what?

[Gus slams the cowl backwards over her head as she squeaks.]

Gus: Behold your new cowl.

Luz: Whoa. I love it.

"It was the height of fashion," Luz said. "You think I look good in it?"

"You'd look good in anything, Luz," Amity said.

[Gus turns the cowl around and pulls the hood down.]

Luz: [Sniffs.] On the Boiling Isles, new things smell old.

"And old things smell new," Luz said. "It's really strange. No one seems to know why."

Gus: Yep. Put it on. Hide your ears. [Chuckles.] Wanna keep you under wraps 'till the big reveal.

[Willow frowns.]

Luz: Oh, a showman. I totally get it. You bring the razzle, [Pulls the hood back up.] I'll bring the dazzle.

[Luz throws handfuls of confetti. Willow and Gus stare at her.]

Willow: Do you always have confetti on you or...

"I do," Luz said at the exact same time as Camila said, "She does."

[Gus's watch demon screams and bites his arm. He pokes it in the eye to make it stop.]

"I'm not…you know, going to tell you your way of keeping time is wrong, but we have less…painful variants of watches here on Earth," Camila pointed out. "I can get you one if you like."

"Wow, a human watch! That's almost as cool as a human bucket!" He patted Dr. Everton Q. Pinkerton VII reassuringly. "Don't worry, Dr. Everton Q. Pinkerton VII, nothing can replace you in my heart."

"I'm beginning to see why you and Luz get along so well," Hunter said.

Gus: That's my alarm. Uh, we better get going. [Drags Luz away.] See you after school, Willow.

Luz: Bye, friend. Be safe. Make good choices.

Willow: Oh, Gus. I hope you know what you're doing.

"I know I should have said something," Willow admitted. "But I just wanted Gus to be happy and Luz was happy, and I really didn't think anyone would get into too bad trouble."

"Ah, we all make mistakes, Willow," Camila assured her.

[Cut to the hallways of Hexside. A Beast Keeping witch's backpack flies off of him.]

Student #1: Whoa! [Grunting.] Hey! Give that back!

[Student #2 and Student #3 laugh, floating the backpack between them.]

Student #2: Huh? Whoa! [Straining.]

[He's dragged away by a hook to the school guards.]

School Guard: [Sniffing.] Trouble.

Camila let out a gulp. She was glad those…things weren't around when she was a teenager. She'd have gotten sent to the principal's office way more than she already was, and that was a very large amount to begin with.

[The first student's backpack falls to the ground as the third backs away nervously. He is also caught by a hook.]

Student #3: Huh? [Grunts.] No! Detention!

Student #2: [Being dragged away.] The only thing I'm guilty of is being too real!

"Same here, buddy," Luz said. "Same here."

Luz: That's new.

Gus: Well, they kinda showed up after your last visit. They smell trouble. Literally.

Camila sighed. In theory, it sounded like a good idea to have those guards around, but, honestly, there was so much mischief high schoolers got up to that she thought it would probably all end up blending together. And not to mention, she had a suspicion Luz would have a run in with them sooner or later. It was inevitable.

School Guard: Trouble.

Gus: [Chuckles.] Okay, time to run for no particular reason.

"I'm starting to think part of the reason Eda flourished so much is that everyone else was so bad at lying that they just weren't used to someone so good at it," Camila mused.

"Well, that'd go a long way in explaining why they fell for Belos," Amity said.

[Gus runs into Mattholomule. All of Luz's wanted posters and his president crown fall out of his bag. Gus gasps, then grunts as he collects the posters.]

Mattholomule: Augustus, you should really watch where you going. Don't want the president of the H. A. S. getting hurt on his last day in office. [Picks up and dusts off the crown; looks at Luz.] This must be your human. Hmm. Looks like another witchling to me.

"Man, that guy was just a jerk," Luz said. She knew Gus was getting along better with him, so she'd been trying to be civil to his face, but honestly, Luz couldn't see it.

Gus: Psst. Psst! [Pulls his ears.] Dazzle.

Luz: Oh. [Trumpets, pulls the hood down.] Ta-da!

Mattholomule: [Gasps.] A human!

Gus: Not just any human. An expert human.

"Yeah, an expert in causing trouble," Hunter said. Luz stuck her tongue out at him.

Luz: Yeah. I've been doing this for years.

"Fourteen of them, to be precise!" Luz said.

Something suddenly occurred to Camila with a flash of nervousness. "So…I never actually got around to asking your ages," she said, trying to keep her voice casual. She remembered that elves in the Lord of the Rings lived for hundreds of years! If Amity was significantly older than Luz, that…would complicate things immensely. She knew Vee was approximately fourteen, but she was a basilisk.

"Oh, Willow and I are fourteen," Amity said. Despite trying, Camila could not suppress her sigh of relief. The Luzity ship, as Luz would no doubt call it, was still ready to sail. "Gus is twelve and Hunter is sixteen."

"Well, at least I think I'm sixteen," Hunter muttered. Who even knew? How many of his memories were even real?

Gus: She's here to authenticate your treasures. [Takes his crown back, walks past Mattholomule.] See you at the meeting.

[Cut to a hallway.]

Gus: As president of the H. A. S., I should feel bad about dunking on one of our own members. But as a Gus I feel like doing this: [Dances.] Oh, oh, yeah Oh, yeah, what, oh

[Luz walks over to a trophy case.]

Luz: Wow! Who got the trophy for the most bones?

"It was actually Lilith," Luz informed them. Camila scowled. She did not like Lilith one bit, not after how she humiliated Amity and tried to brand Luz. Sure, she mistook Luz for Eda, but it hardly made it better that she was trying to brand her own sister.

[School Guard sniffs. Gus runs in and drags Luz away.]

Luz: Whoa!

"Man, I'm really good at getting tricked, aren't I?" Luz said glumly, thinking of Belos.

Gus, assuming she was referring to Adegast, gave her an encouraging smile. "No, Luz. It was my fault, not yours. I chose to lie to you. Just like he chose to lure you into a trap."

Luz's head shot up sharply. "How did you know?"

"Uh…we all saw Adegast trick you," Gus reminded her. Luz laughed nervously.

"If you need a break, mija, don't hesitate to tell us," Camila said. "And that goes for any of you, understood? I don't want you overdoing it."

Gus: We don't have time for this right now. We gotta get to the clubroom.

Luz: Okay. But next time you have to give me a full tour.

Gus: Yeah, next time. [Laughs.]

[They stop when they see the abomination professor.]

Luz: Ooh. It's the abomination professor. I should introduce myself. Apologize for the incident. Hey, Mr. Abomination Professor. The "abominominator." Remember me? [Roars.]

[He raises an eyebrow at her.]

"Man, Professor Hermonculus was in a bad mood for ages after you tricked him," Amity remembered. "He assigned so much homework."

"Sorry."

"No, no, he was just upset he didn't recognize you weren't an abomination," Amity explained. "I mean, he is considered one of the best in his field. He apprenticed under Darius Deamonne, the head of the Abominations Coven." A smile flitted across Hunter's face at the mention of his friend/mentor/father-figure. He hoped Darius was safe.

Gus: Oh, wouldn't you know? We suddenly have time for a full tour of Hexside.

[Gus pushes Luz away.]

[Cut to the grudgby pitch, which has basketball hoops on either side. Skara is on the pitch while Gus and Luz are in the stands.]

Gus: This is where we play the sport.

[Skara runs at the ball, but is picked up by a griffin. She screams, the griffin screeches.]

Skara: I hate this game! [Screams.]

"Don't ask us to explain," Willow said. "Other than flyer derby and grudgby, we don't know anything about sports."

"Skara never mentioned anything about this to me," Hunter said. "But everyone knows flyer derby is superior to all other sports."

"Especially grudgby," Luz said. "Stupid smidge…"

[The griffin drops her into one of the basketball hoops. A horn blares. Gus and Luz applaud. A School Guard sniffs. Gus sees the guard and drags Luz away. Cut to the two of them walking past a door, Luz doubling back to look through the window.]

Luz: Ooh. What's in here?

Gus: The Plant Homeroom.

[Various students in Plant uniforms are tending to the greenery. A carnivorous plant eats Amelia, who had been standing next to it with a clipboard. Willow runs over and tickles the plant's stem. It laughs and spits Amelia back up. She gives Willow a thumbs-up.]

"Oh, how lovely!" Camila said. "That looks like a fun place to learn. Well…if you're into plants that eat you, anyway."

Luz: Willow, hey.

[Willow turns around and waves at Luz. Gus looks through the window.]

Gus: Hi.

[Willow's face falls. She shakes her head.]

"I really should have said something," Willow lamented. "But I couldn't stand the idea of my friend getting into trouble!"

Gus: Bye.

[Gus drags Luz away again. Cut to a room full of mirrors.]

Gus: And this is where I spend my time. The Illusion Track Homeroom.

[The professor evaluates three students' illusions. Emira doubles the length of her legs. Edric changes his face, outfit, and hair style. The third student is shaking as they draw their spell circle and accidentally remove the professor's face. The professor draws a spell circle and their face returns. The student inhales deeply.]

Luz: Wait, if you're here, who is that?

[She points across the hall, where another Gus is sitting in a class.]

Gus: That's one of my illusions. Takes notes for me when I'm not around.

Camila wondered if that was cheating, then decided it wasn't any different than listening to recordings of a teacher's lecture. But if he used his illusions to do assignments or take tests for him, that'd be a different story.

[His illusion gasps and holds up a paper reading "I'm not paying attention." He laughs as he points to it.]

"These illusions, are they sentient, then?" Camila wondered.

Gus did a so-so gesture. "That's actually one of the most hotly debated issues among illusionists."

"In my opinion, they're kind of like our AI," Luz explained. "They can act sentient at times, but they're not really sentient."

Gus: He doesn't always do what he's told.

Luz: Wow, Gus. You're good.

Gus: Yeah. I moved up a couple grades.

"I'm one of the best in the school!" Gus said, puffing up his chest with pride. Sure, the life of a prodigy came with costs, but he was still extremely proud of the academic accomplishments he'd achieved.

[Gus's watch screams again.]

Gus: Oh! Time for the H. A. S. meeting.

[Luz and Gus run off. Gus's illusion watches them, growing nervous when Gus returns. He mimes decapitation and casually walks away. Cut to the H. A. S. room.]

All: [Banging on the table.] Human, human! Human, human!

Gus: Human Appreciation Society... [Twangs the paper clip.] ...it is my distinct pleasure to introduce to you...

[Luz moonwalks into the doorway, spinning around and almost falling.]

"I'm not very coordinated," Luz admitted.

Luz: Oh! [Recovers, takes the hood off.]

Gus: Luz, the human.

[Eileen squeals.]

Bo: Such showmanship.

Boy: She's horrifying.

Luz wiped away a tear. "They were so nice! No one's ever been so nice to me when I've tried to participate in extracurriculars before."

"That boy just called you horrifying!" Camila pointed out.

"He meant it as a compliment," Luz said dismissively.

[Luz and Gus approach the desk. Mattholomule grows nervous.]

Gus: Luz, will you inspect the items?

Luz: Of course, Mr. President. Allow me to determine if they're truly of my realm's origin. [Reaches for the "shoe".]

Mattholomule: Stop!

[He knocks his fakes off the table with a grunt. Everyone else gasps.]

Mattholomule: Don't make another move, human! [Jumps onto the table; calms down.] I... have something to say. I'm new here at Hexside. M-Making friends has been hard, so I lied. They're all fakes.

Vee, Hunter, and Camila eyed him with great sympathy. By contrast, Amity, Willow, Gus, and Luz, who knew all about Matt, if only secondhand in some of their cases, just rolled their eyes. Still, Luz did understand that, in actuality, this was closer to the truth than his later statement about wanting power and drama was, though Matt's pride prevented him from realizing it.

[Bo gasps.]

Mattholomule: I thought if I was important enough people would like me. But I've caused enough drama.

[Luz and Gus share a look.]

Mattholomule: So, I'll go. I'm sorry.

Luz: Hey, man. It's okay. You're only human. Well, you know what I mean.

Luz winced at her slipup, but no one looked offended, so she settled down.

Gus: Mattholomule, you aren't alone. You have a place here in the H. A. S.

Boy: You're not alone.

Bo: We admire your honesty.

Boy: You're one of us.

"ONE OF US!" Luz and Vee chanted simultaneously. "ONE OF US!"

Mattholomule: Thanks, guys. I knew you'd understand.

[Cut to the H. A. S. room as half of them leave, waving to Luz, who waves back.]

Bo: Thanks for coming.

Boy: Come back soon.

Eileen: [Muffled.] Thank you. [Unintelligible muttering.]

Mattholomule: Hey, Augustus, Luz, thank you for being so forgiving.

Luz: We've all been the new kid before. Right, Gus?

Gus: Yeah.

Mattholomule: Well, I just have one thing to say...

[Door bangs open, school guards step in.]

Mattholomule: [Points at Luz.] There she is! [Pulls out Luz's wanted poster.] She's the intruder!

"CURSE YOUR SUDDEN BUT INEVITABLE BETRAYAL, MATT!" Luz shouted, shaking her fist in the air.

Vee's eyes lit up. "You've watched Firefly too!"

"We both have the world's biggest science fiction geek as a mom," Luz reminded her. "What do you think?"

"Well, she's not really my –"

"Eh, eh, eh!" Camila said, pointing at Vee accusingly. "No more of that talk! You are my daughter too, Vee! We talked about this! I am your mother and you are my daughter and the fact I didn't give birth to you doesn't matter one bit! ¿Lo entiendes?"

"Sí, mamá," Vee said.

School Guard: [Sniffing.] Trouble.

Luz: No, it's fine. The ban's been lifted. Tell 'em, Gus. [Screams as she's dragged away.] Gus! Tell them!

Mattholomule: Oh, who's the liar now, Augustus?

Gus bowed his head in shame. "I'm so sorry, Luz." Willow quickly downloaded a memory onto the mirror before he could mope too much.

[Cut to the Plant Homeroom, where Willow is watering the carnivorous plant.]

Willow: Maybe I've been too hard on Gus. I mean, what trouble could they get into?

Luz: Help!

Carnivorous Plant: Huh?

[The plant and Willow turn to the door. Through the window, they can see Luz being dragged off.]

"Yeah, it didn't take an oracle to see this outcome coming," Willow admitted.

Luz: [Screams.] I don't even learn here!

Willow: Luz!

[Cut to the hallway.]

Luz: Where are you taking me?

School Guard: Detention.

Luz: Oh. That won't be so bad, right?

[They stop in front of a giant door with three closed eyes. The eyes open, red and yellow, and the bottom of the door lifts up to reveal a mouth filled with sharp teeth. Luz screams.]

Camila's scream echoed her daughter. "Oh my God!" she shouted. "That's…that's horrible! That is just cruel and unusual punishment. No, mija, I cannot possibly send you back in good conscience to this school. What loving mother would?"

"But it's changed since then, mom!" Luz protested. It really had. The reforms she'd helped introduce turned Hexside into a school Luz was proud to attend.

"Well…we'll see."

Cut to the H. A. S. room, where Gus is shaking with anger.]

Mattholomule: I can't believe you two fell for that. Like I'd actually apologize.

Gus: What. Did you. Do?

Mattholomule: [Mockingly.] Ah, bo-hoo. I'm sorry. "I am the new kid." "I want friends." [Normal.] Ha! No. I want power. And I want drama. And I got one of those right now. So, what are you gonna do, Mr. President?

Gus: [Prepares to punch him.] Executive action. [Grabs the bell's tongue.]

"Hey, you'd have done the same thing in my shoes!" Gus defended himself.

Bell: Ow! [Screams, rings.]

[Water is launched from the bell and soaks Gus and Mattholomule. Cut to the two of them being dragged away by a school guard.]

Mattholomule: But I didn't pull the alarm! It was Augustus! Are you even listening to me? I demand justice!

Camila shook her head in dismay. It didn't matter what they did; no child deserved this horrible excuse for discipline, not even the kid who'd subjected Luz to it.

[Willow peeks around a corner as they pass. Cut to the door to detention growling and opening its mouth again as Gus and Mattholomule are thrown inside, they grunt.]

Mattholomule: Wait!

[Door growls and closes.]

Mattholomule: [Bangs on the door.] Get me outta here! Open up!

Gus: Luz!

Luz: [Hiding behind a rock.] Gus! You said the ban was lifted!

Gus: Well, I—

[He tries to stand, but the ground cracks open at his feet. The crack widens until nearly the whole room is a hole, revealing teeth, eyes, and blue tendrils and pods, inside of which are students. Luz screams.]

Camila's mouth dropped open. It got worse! How the hell was it even possible for it to have gotten worse?

Luz: How is this detention? This is a death sentence!

Gus: I don't know! I've never been in detention before!

Mattholomule: Welcome to my world. Believe it or not, at my old school I was in detention plenty of times.

Luz: That isn't hard to believe. You're kind of a jerk.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Mattholomule: Well, down in detention, this jerk is king. So, if you wanna get out, you better do exactly what I say. [Walks forward.] But first, before anything else, we gotta— [Yelps.]

[A snake rises out of the hole. It wraps a blue tendril around Mattholomule's ankle.]

Mattholomule: [Grunts.] Already? [Screams as he's dragged down.]

"Yeah, that's a classic death sentence in human movies," Luz said wisely. "Uh, metaphorically," she quickly added. "No one died! Especially not me!"

Luz: Mattholomule! [To Gus.] You lied to me. You lied about the ban! Why?

Gus: I was afraid. I acted stupid.

Luz: Yes, you did!

Gus: Being younger than everyone is hard. [Makes his way over to Luz.] You're overlooked. Ignored. But at the H. A. S. I mattered. I could make sure no one would ever get left behind. I didn't wanna lose that. I'm sorry.

Luz: [Puts a hand on his shoulder.] I get it. I just wish you told me the truth.

[Gus smiles at her. Snakes hiss, several of them slithering up the hole.]

Gus: Let me make it up to you, Luz. I've got a plan.

[A snake hisses as it rises out of the hole.]

Luz: [Yelps.] Ya! [Kicks it.] I'm in. Where do we start?

Gus: [Grabs her hand.] By leaving no one behind. [Grunts and jumps in the hole.]

"Very noble of you, Gus," Camila praised. "Not necessarily smart of you, but noble."

[Luz screams. They land on an eye and bounce, both grunting when they hit the ground. They stand and pull down the pod Mattholomule's in.]

Voice: You will be a good student.

Mattholomule: I will be a good student.

In a flash of horror-filled insight, Camila realized that this was precisely the fate Luz was afraid awaited her at Reality Check Camp. She wasn't sure what, if anything, she should do with that insight. But it was important nonetheless, she felt.

Luz: [Tries to bite the pod.] You know, it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would. Oh, you're a witch. Do magic.

Gus: Oh, I'll use magic. [Pulls out the paper clip and bends it.] Human magic. [Grunts.]

[He cuts the pod and pulls it to the ground, freeing Mattholomule.]

"Sometimes, the simplest solutions are the best," Vee said.

Mattholomule: Am I a good student?

Luz: [Strains, tosses Mattholomule over her shoulder.] Oh, gosh. He's so little.

"The weak nerd arms aren't nearly so weak anymore, are they, Luz?" Amity said.

"Yeah, soon they'll be at 'and scoop' level!" Willow teased.

"I'm gonna get you back for that," Amity muttered.

[Several snakes hiss as they surround the three of them.]

Luz: This is part of the plan, right?

Gus: Or the illusion of a plan.

"Or the plan of an illusion," Gus said, waving his hands around dramatically.

[He draws a spell circle, then puts his hand in it and drags it through the air. Several other spell circles appear, and from them several clones of Luz and Gus. A snake flicks its tongue at one illusion of Gus, making it disappear. It hisses.]

Luz: A genius and a wordsmith.

"I'm also very good at crossword puzzles," Gus bragged.

[Gus picks up a giant bone and the two climb out of the hole. Snakes hiss as the follow. Gus reaches the top first, taking Mattholomule from Luz. Luz kicks a snake in the face when she pulls herself up, then spins and kicks another. Gus hits a third with the bone, then runs.]

Gus: We're gonna have to bust down the door.

Luz: Right behind you. [Picks up Mattholomule and follows him.]

[Three snakes follow them out of the hole, hissing. Luz takes hold of the bone, and they both run for the door. The pair scream, the snakes hiss. Cut to outside of detention, where Willow is sneaking to the door. She strains to lift the crossbar off the door, managing to get it half off before freezing when she hears Eda.]

Eda: I washed off all the graffiti. Apologized to Jenkinmeyer for stealing her teeth. Caught all the wild cerebi. Ah, we should be good.

Luz let out a gasp of shock. She had absolutely no idea until now how precisely Eda had managed to get her enrolled at Hexside. It turned out she did it by making up for her own past misdeeds – which Eda was still very proud of – just to help out Luz! If there was one thing Eda hated doing, it was swallowing her pride, but she'd done just that for Luz.

Principal Bump: [Shakes Eda's hand.] It will be very exciting to have a real human exchange student.

Eda: And you won't tell the Emperor's Coven about this, will you?

Principal Bump: No. Hexside School is safe for you both. I'm the principal, not a stooge. Consider your pupil our pupil.

Camila wasn't sure how to feel about Bump, and this episode hadn't made her any less confused. On the one hand, he had tried to dissect Luz, but on the other hand, the Demon Realm was incredibly dangerous, and this probably meant he probably had to go to more extreme lengths to protect his students. Now he'd let Eda enroll Luz despite the trouble both of them had gotten into, yet there was also this horror show masquerading as detention. At least he was better than Vice Principal Stone. But then again, that wasn't a high bar.

[Banging interrupts them. Willow backs away from the door as it's hit again from the inside. A third hit shatters the door, and Gus and Luz burst through, panting.]

Luz: Eda?

Eda: Guess who got you into Hexside!

Luz: What?

Camila opened her mouth to say something. "Again, not my fault this time, mom!" Luz reminded her. Camila closed her mouth.

[Snakes continues hissing, Luz screams. Principal Bump snaps his finger.]

Snake: [Freezes.] Uh, sorry, Principal Bump. Sir. [Retreats.]

Principal Bump: [To Luz.] What did you do?

Eda: [Facepalms.] Ugh, kid.

Principal Bump: [To Eda.] To think that any student of yours would be capable of doing anything but create chaos... Eda, take your student and leave! You are both banned from this campus!

"Oh, come on!" Camila protested. "He hadn't even heard her side of the story!"

Eda: [Grunts.] Come on, kid. Let's go.

[Eda and Luz start to leave.]

Gus: Wait, Principal Bump. Don't blame Luz. I told her the ban was lifted. We were fighting over the Human Appreciation Society. I brought Luz in because I wanted to win. This is all my fault.

"It was very mature of you to own up to your misdeeds, especially knowing you'd get in trouble for it," Camila said. "I know you made a mistake, but I also know you didn't mean to put Luz in danger. So I forgive you."

"Thank you, Mrs. Noceda," Gus said. "I promise to be worthy of your trust in the future."

Principal Bump: If that's so, Augustus, would you be willing to accept her punishment as your own?

Gus: Yes, Principal Bump. I would.

Eda: Huh. Dang, dweebus.

"I may be a dweebus –"

"Which you're not," Hunter said.

"But I'm a dweebus with principles!" Gus finished.

"Again, not a dweebus."

Principal Bump: Very well. [To Luz.] In light of that, barring any more trouble, you shall officially be enrolled in Hexside School next semester.

[Luz gasps and smiles.]

Eda: Uh, hold on. Hold on.

[She puts her hands on Luz's shoulders, then glares at Principal Bump and gestures for him to step back. He takes exactly two steps back. Eda kneels down in front of Luz.]

Eda: I'm only doing this because I have faith in you. And I know you're too smart to fall for that One-Witch, One-Coven nonsense. You can learn a lot from the witches here. [Looks over her shoulder and smirks.] And maybe teach them some of that Bad Girl Coven magic too.

Camila gave a fond smile. She certainly had her share of reservations about Eda, especially with regards to her actions in the "pilot," which she most definitely would be taken to task for, but this "episode" clearly showed that Eda genuinely cared for Luz. Not much of a surprise, though. Luz was such a wonderful person that she could melt practically any heart, no matter how frozen.

Principal Bump: I didn't hear that. [To Gus.] As for you, I would be saying detention right now but that seems to be out of order. So, as of now, I'm removing you from the Human Appreciation Society. [Takes Gus's crown.]

Mattholomule: Does that make me president?

Principal Bump: Impressive. Still alive. Yes, I suppose you are. [Throws the crown on Mattholomule's head.]

Mattholomule: [Weakly.] Yes!

"Like anyone cared about who was president," Amity said. "I mean, seriously, no offense, Gus, but no one at all cares about your silly club drama."

"No worries. I shouldn't have cared about it either."

Principal Bump: Now, with that accomplished, Eda, we have some paperwork to fill out.

Eda: Wait! I gotta do more stuff? Ugh! [To Luz.] You better enjoy this place, kid.

It was nice to know there were some things, like paperwork, that were multiversal constants, Camila reflected.

[Luz grins and looks at her friends.]

Gus: Wanna finish off that tour?

Willow: I can show you guys what plants not to touch in the greenhouse. And then I can let you touch them.

"That's the most fun part!" Willow said. "I mean, it's not like we have anything too dangerous there. Well, not if you know how to handle them properly. Except –"

"Please stop talking now," Luz begged her.

Luz: Yeah! Let's go.

[The three join hands and laugh as they run off.]

[Cut to the Owl House living room, where Luz and Eda are going through Eda's record.]

Luz: [To Eda.] Wow! Bump was not exaggerating. You were a terrible student.

"I mean, she was good academically – and I mean off the charts good – but wow did she get into trouble a lot," Luz said.

[Eda gives off a look of surprise, implying she didn't even know Luz was there.]

"I'm just not sure what to make of this Hexside," Camila admitted. "I know I promised to wait until the whole story was done, and I recognize there are cultural differences, but…"

"Well, the detention pit still hasn't reopened," Amity informed her. "And since you're Luz's mom, you can just forbid them from using it on her when it reopens."

Camila brightened. She hadn't thought of that. That definitely did take care of her biggest issue with the school so far. Anyway, she was probably judging too quickly. Luz hadn't even started school there yet! "So what's next…"

"A fun filled adventure!" Willow said enthusiastically. "With lots of bones!"

"Of course," Camila muttered. "I don't know why I expected anything else…"