[Boscha peers around a corner, spotting a crowd of students gathered around Willow, who is holding a potted plant.]
Hunter nodded approvingly. It was about time the people of Hexside saw the captain as Hunter did: a strong, brilliant, talented, attractive witch. No, wait, he didn't want them to see her as attractive! Only he could do that! Beside him, Flapjack gave a knowing smirk.
Hexside Student: No way!
Potions Student: Do me next. Do me!
[Willow uses her magic, the plant sprouting a fruit looking like the potions student's face. The student takes it.]
Potions Student: Welcome to the world, little buddy. You're the coolest, Willow.
"You certainly are the coolest, Willow," Hunter said. "It's nice to see you getting the recognition you deserve." Willow couldn't help but grin.
Willow: [Blushing.] Aw, shucks!
Bird Student: Yeah, Willow rules!
Boscha: [Walking past with her posse.] Wow, she has to make friends out of plants. How sad.
Hunter clenched his fists. What was sad was when jerks like Boscha were allowed to wander around and do as they please.
Amity: [Entering.] Oh, please! You know, I used to be like you, Boscha, obsessed with status, challenging my competition. But I grew up. When will you?
"Thank you, Amity," Willow said softly.
Amity sighed. "Don't thank me, Willow. I should have done that years ago. What happened was long, long overdue."
[The crowd of students laugh.]
Boscha: [Angered.] Oh, this is not gonna fly.
-THEME SONG-
[Cut to outside of Hexside. Eda and Luz fly in on Eda's staff.]
Luz: My first grudgby season! I'm so excited, I have more school spirit than the school spirits!
[Camera pans to a ghost holding pom-poms.]
Ghost: Why do I even bother? [Groans and floats away.]
Luz frowned. She hadn't meant to offend him. How many other people had she inadvertently hurt with careless comments in the past?
Eda: Ah, grudgby season is the best. You know, I used to play, back in my gory days.
"She means glory days, doesn't she, Luz?" Camila said. Luz remained silent. "Doesn't she?" Luz reluctantly shook her head.
Luz: You mean "glory days"?
Eda: Well, that too. I was unstoppable on the field. I had the best moves and the best cheats.
Luz: Cheating isn't anything to brag about. How do you know you were any good if all you did was cheat your way to victory?
Camila smiled. She was pleased Luz had thoroughly learned her lesson from her previous adventures. Maybe it was a small thing, but she'd decided to take whatever victories she could get.
Eda: Ugh. What do humans know, with your goody-goody attitude? If "cheaters never prosper", why was I the star player?
Luz: Well, can't reason with crazy.
Camila cast her eyes on Luz, intending to give some sort of quip, like maybe "that's the pot calling the kettle black," and then did a double take when she saw Luz's eyes widened with pure horror and her sitting ramrod straight on the couch. Before her very eyes, Luz started shaking and breathing heavily.
Everyone seemed just as confused as Camila as to why Luz was reacting in such a thoroughly alarming manner to a completely innocuous statement. Everyone but Hunter, that is, who seemed to instantly understand what was happening and rushed over to her.
"Luz, it's okay," he whispered to her. "You're not there anymore. He can't hurt you. He can't hurt any of us anymore."
"I…I didn't mean to…" Luz muttered. "So many people! All because of…"
Hunter grabbed her by the arm and dragged her away from the couch. "We've got to talk this out," he said briskly. "We'll be right back."
Amity stood up. "I think I should be there! As her girlfriend –"
"Blight, you weren't there," Hunter said in a harsher tone than Camila had ever heard him use before. "You don't understand a damn thing about what she's going through! You'll just make things worse. Please, Amity. Trust me."
Amity sighed. "Just help her, Hunter. Please."
"I will," he promised and led Luz out of the basement. Luz allowed Hunter to drag her into her bedroom and sit her down on the bottom bunk of her bed. He sat next to her. "Hey, Luz, it's okay. You're gonna be fine. Breathe in with me."
Luz was silent for a few seconds and then she breathed in. "Four seconds, lucecita," Hunter said, praying it was appropriate for him to use Camila's nickname for her. "Just four seconds. One, two, three, four, now breathe out." Luz breathed out. Much to Hunter's relief, it seemed to be working. He owed Gus for teaching him this technique. He was gonna buy him some cool human artifact soon, he decided.
After a couple of times repeating the breathing technique, Luz looked calmer. At least she looked like she wasn't going to collapse anytime soon. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Oh, please," Hunter said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "You think you're the only one of us to ever have a panic attack?"
"Not for that," Luz said. "For what I did. For helping him find the Collector. For showing him the light glyph. For helping him become powerful. He hurt so many people because of me!"
Hunter very carefully did not roll his eyes despite the great temptation to do so. "You're sorry I'm alive? You're sorry Vee's alive?"
"I…what?"
"Well, Belos made us both," he pointed out. "If you're claiming credit for all of his bad deeds, you should claim credit for our existence too."
Luz's mouth dropped open. "But…but I didn't have anything to do with that. He chose to make you, to make Vee…"
"If you didn't have anything to do with his choices, then why are you claiming responsibility for them?"
Luz was silent for a really long time. "I don't know," she admitted.
"Well, at least you're honest about that." He put his hand on her shoulder briefly. "Luz, I'm gonna need your help. When we show them what happened in his mind, I'm really going to need to know I can rely on you."
Luz nodded. "I won't freak out like this again. I'm so sorry…I've been trying to be strong."
Hunter crossed his arms. "I used to think strength was keeping everything to yourself and letting yourself just endure. But sometimes, you need to just…let it out. To release your pain. To let other people help you."
"I'm not used to that," Luz admitted.
"Neither am I," Hunter agreed. "Think we can work on it together?"
Luz smiled a little. "Yeah. I guess we can."
The two of them sat in silence for a little while longer, and then they returned to the basement. "It's okay, guys," Luz said, sounding a little shaky, but mostly stable. "I'm fine now."
"Luz, I had no idea this episode would upset you so much," Camila said. "We can stop now…return when you're more ready. Or you could just summarize it. I'm not going to force you to view anything traumatizing again."
Luz shook her head. "It wasn't that, mamá. What I said just reminded me of something someone else said. Something the emperor said. That's…not going to happen for a while. It has nothing to do with this episode, really."
"But still…"
"No, mom. I want to keep going, okay?"
Camila nodded slowly. She wasn't sure, in all honestly, that was a good idea, but she was going to choose to trust her daughter for now.
[Pulls a sleeping King out of her hood.] Bye, King, you little snoozers.
[Luz kisses King's head and puts him on the staff as he wakes up. Luz leaves. Cut to a history classroom within Hexside.]
Teacher: Over 50 years ago, Emperor Belos appointed a head witch to each coven. [Continues talking.]
Luz: [To Gus and Willow.] I can't wait for grudgby season to start!
Camila opened her mouth to speak, but Willow beat her to it. "Mrs. Noceda, everything taught in this history class was a lie. Just propaganda to make Belos look better. Luz was right to not pay it any mind."
"You didn't know that at the time, though," Camila pointed out.
Willow gave a sheepish grin at Luz. "Well, I tried."
I've studied up on all sorts of magical sports. Like this. [Holds up a DVD case.] Good Witch Azura 2: The Field of Deadly Fates. A classic underdog tale.
"Hang on a second," Camila said. "I thought the second Good Witch Azura movie was the Betrayanning."
Luz launched into an exceedingly convoluted explanation of why the Field of Deadly Fates was declared non-canon and a second Good Witch Azura 2 movie was made that somehow culminated in the director of Field of Deadly Fates getting executed in the parking lot of an auto parts store in Keflavik, Iceland by an assassin hired by the Albanian mafia.
Willow: [Taking the DVD case.] Azura challenges Hecate in the smibbitch championship. But will she risk it all by taking a chance on the deadly Thorn Vault? [Opens case.]
"This doesn't have anything to do with the books," Hunter complained.
Luz's eyes narrowed. "And how would you know what's in the books?"
"Uh…" Hunter's eyes shifted around as panic rose within him. "Because you talk about them constantly?"
Luz pointed at him. "You've read them, haven't you?! Aha! You've been caught, Hunter!"
"I…I don't know what you're talking about," Hunter said desperately.
"Really?" Luz challenged him. "Then what's your opinion of Hezura?"
Hunter scoffed. "Maybe that's the normie ship, but Malingale has been Azura's best friend since before the two of them could walk! They clearly love her! Azura deserves better than some dark witch!" He groaned. "Whoops."
"Oh, we're so talking about this later," Luz said, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.
Gus: [Grabbing the DVD.] Ooh, a shiny cookie. [Tries to eat it.]
Luz: [Grabbing the DVD from Gus.] Not food.
Teacher: The council headquarters was built and paid for by...? Anyone? Willow?
Willow: [Stands up.] Uh, the Pixie Dust Taxes?
Bird Student: [From the hall.] Whoo, yeah! Go, Willow!
"I'm liking this episode so far," Hunter mused.
Teacher: Impressive, Miss Park.
[The students murmur in admiration.]
Luz: What's going on? It's like all of Hexside's caught Willow fever!
"I don't see how that's so strange," Hunter said. "Willow happens to be a very talented individual."
Willow: Ever since I patched thing up with Amity, I've been feeling more confident. [Gesturing to the flower shaped hair clip she's wearing.] I guess it shows.
"It really does," Hunter said softly. Willow blushed.
[The hair clip levitates off of Willow's head and into Boscha's hand.]
Boscha: Aw, Willow thinks she's popular now. How cute.
Hunter clenched his fists. When he returned to the Isles, Boscha was going to suffer for what she was doing to the captain.
Luz: Hey, I agree, my friend is very cute.
Hunter nodded.
But give that back!
[Luz grabs for the hair clip. Boscha pulls her hand back.]
Boscha: It's weird that Amity hangs out with you now. Ever since Grom, she's gone soft. But don't worry. [Puts clip in her hair.] I'm still here to show you who's boss.
Gus: [Grabs the hair clip.] Here, Willow.
[Gus puts the clip back in Willow's hair.]
Boscha: Oh-ho-ho! The friends wanna get in on this too, huh?
"You wouldn't be surprised if you had any real friends, Boscha!" Luz shouted. "Uh, no offense, Amity?"
"Why would I be offended?" Amity said. "You're right."
[Boscha levitates Willow's bag into the air, spilling its contents onto Gus, Luz, and Willow. She laughs.]
Teacher: Is that laughter? Hey, hey! Learning's not supposed to be fun!
Luz: We are having zero fun, I swear. Boscha's picking on us.
Boscha: My apologies, sir. I was practicing my aim for grudgby. [Throws an eraser at Willow.]
Camila scoffed. What sort of teacher would accept such a lame excuse?
Teacher: Boscha, how could you throw things at them... [Draws a circle on his chest.] when you could throw things at me? Am I over here? Or am I over here? Anything for the captain of the Banshees!
Camila's mouth dropped open. This was terrible! As happy as Luz was at Hexside, her opinion of the faculty there was dropping rapidly. She wondered if those other schools, Glandus and St….something, were any better. True, the children disparaged Glandus, but they were probably bias due to their teams' rivalry. If she allowed Luz to return – and that was still an if, not a when – she would have to investigate it personally.
Boscha: Oh, thanks, but I already have the perfect targets. [Throws gum into Willow's hair.]
Willow: Oh! [Groans.]
Luz: Don't worry, it's not like she can follow us around all day, right?
[Cut to Hexside's front steps. Gus, Luz, and Willow are covered in trash, their faces graffitied with insults.]
"Luz, I'm not trying to disparage you, but if this was such a problem, why did you not go to the principal?" Camila asked.
Luz stared at her blankly. "Why would I do that?"
"Because she was bullying you!" Camila said. "It's Bump's job to stop her!"
Luz blinked a couple of times, and then burst out laughing. "You really think the administration's job is to stop bullying?" she said, laughter coloring her every word. "Their job is to do whatever it takes to maintain their power by keeping the social order propped up, okay? And if that means that Boscha follows Willow around all day, if it means the Luzer gets smacked around a little, if it means Amber telling people I'm a freak and I should just kill myself, then that's what it means!"
Camila looked upon her daughter in horror. She knew her life at Luz's school had been unpleasant, and that she had issues with the administration, especially the supremely ableist Vice Principal Stone, but she didn't know it was quite that bad. "We're going to be discussing this later, mija," she decided.
Luz: She followed us around all day. She literally followed us around all day!
"A part of me really does admire her dedication," Gus admitted. "A much larger part of me really, really hates her for it."
Willow: [Sighs.] I'm really sorry I pulled you guys into this. We should have just kept a low profile. Boscha could get away with murder if she wanted to.
Principal Bump: [Going down the stairs.] What's this? Boscha got away with murder? I can't say I approve, but at least she's trying new things. [Leaves.]
"That was probably a joke," Luz said, wishing she sounded more confident and most definitely wishing she felt more confident.
Luz: We will find a way out of this.
[Amity passes by the stairs.]
Luz: Amity!
[Luz cleans herself off before running up to Amity.]
Amity: Oh, Luz! You're here! I mean, obviously you're here, this is school, and you go here now, with, uh, me... I've been talking for too long.
Luz's mouth dropped open. "Oh. My. Gosh. You really did have a crush on me!"
Amity tilted her head. "Uh, yeah. Didn't you catch that last episode?"
"I…I mean, I guess, but the idea's still so bizarre," she admitted. "The idea anyone who's not my mom can like me at all, let alone romantically, it's still a foreign concept to me, you know? But oh my God, you can barely function around me! Around me!"
"I'm going to have a chat with those people who made you think that way," Amity decided. "You just bring me to them, and I'll teach them a lesson they'll never forget." Luz was so tempted to say yes and the only thing that stopped her was the thought of Amity getting into trouble or, worse, having her magic exposed.
Camila shook her head in disapproval. "Now, now, Amity." Luz breathed a sigh of relief. Camila would set Amity straight. "As her mother, I have a right to call dibs."
"Sorry, Camila."
Luz: Amity, we need your help.
Amity: Yes, I can help! [Pause.] With what, exactly?
Luz noticed Amity looking embarrassed at her enthusiasm, but a quick kiss to the cheek soon put a stop to that.
Luz: Boscha won't stop picking on Willow, and no one will do anything about it because she's the "Star Captain of the Grudgby Team".
Amity: Yeah, this time of year, she's extra unbearable.
"As opposed to just her regular unbearableness," Gus snarked.
Luz: You're friends with her, can you help us?
Amity: Uh, the hard part is, there's no reasoning with Boscha. She only speaks in grudgby terms.
"This is going where I think it's going, isn't it?" Camila said, resignation all over her voice. Luz just nodded.
Luz: Hmm. Okay, okay. I'm pickin' up what you're puttin' down.
Amity: [Looking at the books she's holding.] I'm... not putting anything down.
"Your human metaphors are so confusing," Amity complained.
[Willow screams. Trash falls on Willow from above as other students watch. Luz runs up to her.]
Luz: Willow! What happened?
Willow: Boscha happened.
Boscha: [From a second floor window, a trash can upside down in her hands.] Hey, Willow! I just thought all trash should stay in one spot.
Oh, this would not do at all, Hunter decided. He wondered if Gus would help him hide a body.
Luz: That's it! Boscha! Willow challenges you to... a grudgby match!
"Luz!" Camila chastised. "You can't just decide these things for your friends!"
"Sorry, mami. I got caught up in the moment."
Boscha: [Dropping the trash can.] She what?
Willow: I what?
[The trash can falls onto Gus.]
Gus: [From inside the trash can.] She what? Seriously, what's going on here?
[Cut back to Hexside.]
Willow: Luz, what are you doing?
Luz: I'm just following Amity's advice. Boscha only speaks in grudgby terms. Trust me, I have a plan.
"Couldn't your plan have involved getting that trash can off of me?" Gus complained. "It was really smelly!"
[Luz walks up to Boscha, who is exiting the building.]
Boscha: Okay, maybe it's the altitude of the second floor, but I thought I heard you say that Leaf Girl wanted to challenge me to a grudgby match.
Luz: That's right! We'll settle this once and for all on the field.
"Um…had either of you ever played grudgby at this point?" Camila asked.
"What do you think?" Amity said dryly.
[Students flank both of them. Willow runs up between them.]
Willow: Or we could just talk about our issues.
Luz winced. She'd gotten so caught up in the moment she'd ignored Willow's discomfort.
Boscha: Let's do this.
Willow: Oh, no.
Luz: If Willow's team wins, you don't get to pick on her anymore.
Boscha: Fine! And when we win, Willow and your team will be our water gofers.
Camila relaxed a little. Honestly, that didn't sound so bad. A trifle demeaning, but she had honestly expected a lot worse from Boscha.
Luz: Ha! That's not even a punishment. I love water.
Boscha: And we get to use you as target practice.
Ah, there it was.
[Boscha throws the ball and kicks it, sending it straight through a tree trunk. The hole smokes.]
Boscha: See you after school, losers.
[The Banshees leave. The entire tree catches fire.]
Bird Student: Whoo-hoo! Willow verses Boscha!
Amity: Luz, this isn't a good idea.
"Finally, someone got that basket off me," Gus said. "Thanks for finally doing it."
Willow: Yeah, I've never even played grudgby before! How am I supposed to beat Boscha?
Luz: But you're the better witch. I don't know much about sports, but I know about sports movies. We, too, are a ragtag team of lovable misfits joined together to defeat a powerful enemy. With a little team spirit and a training montage, we can win.
"That's not how it works, Luz," Camila pointed out. "Haven't you learned this lesson by now? The world doesn't work like your movies, no matter which one you're in!"
"Yes!" Luz snapped. "I have learned the lesson, okay? I learned it so, so well! Are you happy now?!"
"Luz…I didn't mean…"
Luz sighed. "Let's just keep going.
Willow: Well, if you think this'll work, then I'm in. How about you, Gus?
Gus: In seasons past, [Holds up a pair of flags.] these flags have waved in support of grudgby greats. Now they will wave for the greatest: Me! [Waves flags.]
Luz: What about you, Amity?
Amity: Me? On a team with you? Running around in cute uniforms? Sweating? [She blushes heavily, then runs off.] I gotta go!
Amity put her head in her hands, her face flush with embarrassment. "I made such a fool of myself."
Luz gently moved Amity's head away from her hands and facing in her direction. "Hey, batata," she said softly. "It's okay. So you gay panicked a little. I'm honestly super flattered by it. You're the first person to ever think I'm pretty like that, you know. It means a lot to me."
"Thanks, Luz," Amity said with a smile.
Luz: Huh? Well, I guess she's out. In any case, let's get training!
Hunter arched an eyebrow at Luz's rather blatant obliviousness. "Look, in my defense, I was a lot more worried about losing than I showed," Luz explained. "I didn't want to end up as target practice!"
[Cut to Luz, Willow, and Gus at the Hexside grudgby field.]
Luz: So, how exactly do we play grudgby?
Gus: Well, [He summons a miniature illusion of the field to demonstrate.] there's a ball, and you score by getting the ball through the other team's goal. [The illusion dissipates.]
Luz: That sounds easy.
Willow: It is, except...
[Willow summons a leaf and blows it onto the field. The leaf is quickly ripped to shreds by fire, vines, ice shards, and rock spikes that emerge from the field.]
Camila gulped. Quidditch was starting to look good in comparison. Not that she would have liked Luz to play that sport either. Just think of all the times Harry Potter fell off his broom!
Luz: Oh, right. Boiling Isles. Should have predicted this.
[Luz sets her phone to play motivational sports music. She puts a sweatband on.]
Luz: Alright! Every great sports story includes a training montage.
Gus: [Raises hand.] What's a "mon-tage"?
Luz: Well...
[Montage: Luz explains to Willow and Gus what a montage is using a chalkboard; Luz shows the two a football movie on a TV; the three of them have a tea party in animal onesies. Cut back to the grudgby field.]
"This was still one of the more bizarre experiences I've ever had," Gus remembered, shuddering a little. "It was like my perception of time was being warped somehow. What kind of human magic were you using?"
Luz stared at him. She just normally did all of the activities in the montage. Maybe Gus had been having a bad reaction to something in the tea?
Gus: Oh, I get it now. Wait, were we just having a tea party in animal jammies?
Luz: What happens in the montage stays in the montage! Now let's hit the field.
[Luz blows a whistle, throwing a grudgby ball at Gus and Willow. It hits the ground. Willow prepares to kick it, but a giant tentacle burst from the ground, throwing the ball. Willow catches it. Willow and Gus yell. They both across the field and away from the tentacle. A giant hand bursts from the ground, grabbing Gus. Flaming grudgby balls follow Willow.]
"Luz…please tell me you aren't planning on joining the grudgby team," Camila said.
Luz scowled. "No way! Grudgby is stupid! Besides, if they don't want me on their fearleading team, then I sure as heck ain't gonna join their dumb grudgby team."
Amity sighed. It was probably too much to hope for to see her girlfriend join the team. But it was a pity nonetheless. Luz had not only done so well in the game against Boscha, but she looked so damn good in the uniform.
Bird Student: [From the bleachers.] Woo! Go Willow!
[Willow runs the opposite direction. A trampoline emerges from the ground and launches her backwards.]
Bird Student: You'll get 'em next time!
Hunter leaned back in his seat and drank some water. It was nice to have a breather episode, especially one where the captain got to shine. It took his mind off of the constant dread he was feeling about what would happen when everyone saw how he'd acted as the Golden Guard. Especially Camila. Would she kick him out? Use the chancla on him? He had no idea.
"It's nice to have support," Willow said. "I don't even know that guy's name!"
"Oh, that's Zhoth," Luz recalled. "He's in one of my oracle classes." She nudged Willow. "Don't tell anyone but I think he has a little crush on you!"
Hunter spit out his drink. "WHAT?!"
"Aw, that's kind of sweet," Willow said with a smile. "But I'm not into demons." Hunter breathed a sigh of relief.
[Willow lands next to Luz, who hasn't moved at all.]
Willow: [Sighs.] I need a cup of water.
[Gus walks up to them and falls on the ground.]
Luz: Now for our big finale! Let's try... [Activates a plant glyph.] the Thorn Vault. [Puts glyph on ground.]
Willow: Luz, wait—
[Willow and Gus are launched into the air by a column of thorns. Willow summons a large plant to break their fall. Gus rolls right off of it. He gasps.]
Luz looked at the floor. "I'm not very good at this sports stuff, I guess. Sorry, guys."
Willow: Gus! Talk to me, Gus!
Gus: I—I think something's broken. [Pulls out his flags, now snapped, and gasps.] My flags! I never should have tried to play. You were always enough for me. [Sobs.]
"I need new flags," Gus decided. "Say, Luz, you mentioned you have a lot of flags for people with, like, different sexualities. But what if you're not interested in that stuff at all? Even now that I've gone through puberty, I still don't get the appeal of the gross kissing stuff. Uh, no offense."
"None taken!" Luz said perkily. "That's called being on the aro/ace spectrum. Aromantic and asexual. And ace people have a witching flag – four horizonal stripes, from top to bottom black, grey, white, and purple."
Gus stroked his chin. "Sounds appealing. But I'm not sure I want to quite commit yet. I mean…maybe I just haven't found the right person?"
Luz shrugged. "Maybe. It's cool if you're still questioning, Gus. In the end, it's a question only you can answer. We'll definitely get you some flags, though! Pride flags aren't the only ones out there!"
[Willow looks down to see her hair clip, now snapped in half.]
Willow: Come on, Gus. I have some floral tape in the greenhouse. We'll fix them.
Gus: [Sniffs.] Okay.
"At least you won't break on me," Gus whispered and cradled Dr. Everton Q. Pinkerton VII like it was a precious object.
[Willow and Gus stand and begin walking away.]
Luz: Guys, let's try the Thorn Vault one more time.
Willow: Not now, Luz. We're tired.
Luz: But we're the underdogs, we have to stay upbeat and keep trying and—
Willow: [Walking up to Luz.] Luz! Not everything can be solved with a good attitude and a dope music soundtrack. We're going to lose. And no movie can help us against that. The game is off. [Leaves.]
"I know, mom," Luz said before she could say anything. "I have to learn the difference between fantasy and reality. That's why you sent me to camp."
Camila sighed. From what Vee had told her, she really didn't think Reality Check Camp would have helped Luz very much. Perhaps if Luz had befriended her cabinmates like Vee had, the end result would have been positive. But all the camp itself would have done was give her a set of unreasonable expectations and make her feel awful when she inevitably failed to achieve them. Odds were good Luz probably would have just retreated deeper into fantasy as a coping mechanism.
Luz: Willow, wait!
[Luz looks down at the broken hair clip. She picks. She repairs Willow's hair clip with a band-aid. Amity walks up to her.]
Amity: Tough practice? [Sits down next to Luz.]
Luz: I pushed Willow and Gus too hard. It's just, I hate seeing Willow get picked on. She's one of the best friends I've ever had. Winning this game is the only way I know how to help.
Amity: Did you know, before Boscha, I was the grudgby team captain?
"My girlfriend is a jock, a goth, a nerd, and a prep," Luz bragged. "Four in one!"
"I have very little idea what any of that means," Amity admitted. "But it sounds good to me!"
Luz: Really?
Amity: Well, once I left the team, I decided that was a part of my life I wanted to forget.
[Fade to a flashback of Amity as captain of the Banshees.]
Amity: [Voiceover.] We were playing Glandus High for the Island Championship. We had a move planned, and it was a good one. But, at the last minute, I decided I wanted to do something a bit flashier. I changed our game plan to... the Thorn Vault.
Luz: Good Witch Azura 2: Field of Deadly Fates! You watched it too?
Amity: Uh, yeah.
Luz let out a gasp and pointed at Amity. "You bought it from Eda, didn't you?! Where else could you have found it?" Amity nodded sheepishly. "Aw! Even then, you had the makings of a rebel in you, didn't you, Am?"
[In the flashback, Amity successfully does the Thorn Vault, launching herself to a goal post and tossing the ball in. The score changes for a Banshee win. Amity cheers, then realizes she hurt her teammates.]
Amity: It went disastrously wrong. My teammates got hurt. All because I had an idea of how things should be. I pushed them too far.
"Nice of you to think of your teammates," Hunter said snidely. "Shame you didn't spare the same concern for Willow."
"Hunter," Willow said warningly. "I told you. Amity and I are cool now." Hunter just scowled.
[Fade back to Amity in the present.]
Amity: I never played again after that day.
[Amity turns to Luz, their faces incredibly close. Amity stumbles back and falls, blushing heavily.]
"Sorry about invading your personal space there," Luz said with a nervous laugh.
"Oh, Luz," Amity said, leaning in close. "You can invade my personal space anytime." Camila cleared her throat pointedly and Amity quickly moved away.
Luz: Wah! Sorry. [Helps Amity up.] I just really love backstories.
[The Banshees enter, walking onto the field.]
Luz: [Putting something in Amity's hand.] I know what to do to make this up to Willow. Thanks. [Leaves.]
[Amity looks at her hand, revealing Willow's hair clip.]
Boscha: [To Luz.] It's after school. Where's the leader of your loser brigade?
Luz: I'm here on her behalf. We forfeit.
"I'm glad you decided to make amends for your mistake, Luz," Camila said. "But, honestly, you really should have at least tried to bring this to the principal." Luz rolled her eyes. She didn't try arguing. Adults always thought authority would try to help them. Well, Luz had learned otherwise.
[Amity gasps.]
Luz: And I'm here to tell you that I'll take Willow's place as your water gofer, target practice, whatever you need.
"Okay, this was definitely not a good idea," Camila backtracked.
Boscha: Wow, you're really a good friend. [Magically lights a grudgby ball on fire.] And a perfect target.
[Luz gasps.]
Boscha: [Throws ball at Luz.] Think fast!
Camila let out a gasp of horror.
[Luz ducks out of the ball's path. Boscha summons more flaming grudgby balls. Luz runs as the balls are sent at her.]
Camila quickly hustled Gus and Vee out of the room, then let out a vicious string of swears in Spanish. "I have no idea what she's saying, but it sounds so cool," Amity said. Luz, who understood every word, just groaned.
Finally, Camila brought Gus and Vee back in. "If I go to the Isles, I am having words with Boscha's mothers! They are so going to get the chancla!"
[Amity runs off. Cut to the school greenhouse. Willow tapes up Gus's flags.]
Willow: There, that ought to do it.
"I miss my flags so much," Gus said, and then in a much quieter voice, he added, "I miss my dad so much…"
Gus: These are flags of surrender now.
Amity: [Slams open the door.] Luz needs our help! I know she pushed you guys, and she always gets in over her head. She can be so stupid, which I love—I mean hate! In any case, she needs you right now, which is sweet—I mean, I hate it, and it's dumb!
Amity groaned at the reminder of her terribly inelegant and highly unconvincing monologue. Luz planted a kiss on her lips. "Amity, it's okay. It's all right. I don't mind. I said that already. I really think it's kinda sweet."
Gus: You lost me.
"Oh, I get it now!" Gus said.
Amity: Just, here.
[Amity gives Willow her hair clip. Willow smiles.]
Gus: Can we resist the call to action? No! May the flags be raised once more.
[Gus runs out, Willow and Amity right behind him. Cut back to the Hexside grudgby field. Luz is running from Boscha's grudgby balls.]
Boscha: Having fun yet? 'Cause I'm just getting warmed up.
[Boscha throws a flaming grudgby ball at Luz, which is sent back by a tree suddenly emerging from the field in front of Luz.]
Hunter let out a cheer.
Boscha: Huh?
Willow: Boscha. Your issue is with me, not Luz. Leave her be.
Luz: Willow! [Runs up to her.] Willow, I'm sorry I got you into this mess. You're right, I got my head too stuck in the movie biz.
Willow: It's okay. I know you were just trying help in your Luz way. But now let's finish this... my way. [Turns to Boscha.] The game is back on.
Boscha: You need three players on your team. Where's your third?
[Willow and Luz look to Gus in the bleachers, looking sadly at his flags.]
"The loss was just too much for me," Gus said. "I'm sorry, Willow. I let you down."
"Oh, Gus, it's okay," Willow said. "I probably would have been a bad friend if I let you face down Boscha anyway."
Willow: Uh, well...
Amity: Right here.
Boscha: You just destroyed your social life.
Amity: [Looks at Willow and Luz.] Nah. I think I made it better.
"And it's gotten even better than that!" Luz said and kissed Amity. Vee groaned. Were they going to do this constantly? It wasn't fair Luz had a girlfriend while Vee could barely even talk to Masha without a part of her wanting to hurl because she was so nervous.
Boscha: Ugh! Game on!
[Boscha stalks off. Amity, Luz, and Willow smile at each other. Cut to Boscha, Cat, and Amelia facing off against them, all six in grudgby gear.]
Gus: Go Willow!
Willow: [To Boscha.] There's something on your shoe.
Boscha: [Scoffs.] Like I'd fall for that.
[The ball is launched into the air. Boscha lunges for it but is stopped.]
Bosha: Huh?
[There are vines wrapped around her shoe. She falls over.]
"Nice one, Willow!" Camila said with a thumbs up. That bully wanted to play dirty? Well, she should be prepared to take what she dished out.
Boscha: Oh!
[Willow catches the ball and makes the first goal.]
[The game progresses. Amity uses a giant abomination arm to hold back an axe for Luz, who scores another goal. Gus creates illusion duplicates of himself to cheer Luz, Amity, and Willow on. Amelia scores a goal for the Banshees.]
Luz: Nice work.
Amelia: Thanks.
[The two high-five.]
Boscha: [Annoyed.] Hmm.
[The game progresses further. Boscha throws a flaming grudgby ball at Luz, who blocks with an ice glyph. Luz catches the ball, seeing a fire glyph burned onto it.]
Luz: Whoa.
[Luz puts a piece of paper onto the ball, burning the glyph onto the paper. She taps it, activating a fire spell.]
"Very nice work, Luz!" Camila said, feeling a surge of pride within her. Her daughter was really turning out to be quite the talented witch, wasn't she? Now she could wield all four of the classical elements.
Luz sighed at the reminder of the spell she'd used to burn the portal. In retrospect, destroying the portal had accomplished absolutely nothing, other than causing her undue stress. It sure as hell hadn't stopped Belos's plans any.
Luz: [Gasps.] Fire magic! [Throws ball.] Amity!
[Amity knocks it into the goal with a giant abomination fist.]
Amity: Yeah! [Laughs happily.]
[The score is now tied 9-9. Both teams huddle up.]
Amity: There's time for one more play.
Willow: And this play could determine whether us underdogs win or lose.
Luz: Here's what I have to offer. [Holds out fire, light, plant, and ice glyphs.]
Willow: I think we should try... [Points to plant glyph.] this one.
Luz: [Gasps.] The Thorn Vault? Are you sure?
Willow: I'm ready this time.
[Gus and his illusions cheer on as play resumes. The two teams face off at centerfield once again. The ball is launched into the air, and Luz catches it.]
Luz: Ha!
Amity: Watch out!
[Amity pushes Luz out of the way of Boscha, getting tackled as a result.]
Amity winced, still remembering the pain her broken leg had caused her.
Luz: Amity!
Amity: Luz!
[Luz activates the Thorn Vault, sending Willow across the field, and successfully scoring a goal.]
Luz: Whoo! [Hugs Willow.] You did it, Willow! We did it! We won!
"I'm so proud of you, Luz!" Camila said. Luz beamed.
[Luz and Willow look to the score board, reading 9-10. Then the Banshees' score changes to 999.]
Luz: Wait, what?
[Boscha holds up a golden insect.]
"Oh, for – this sport has a Golden Snitch too?!" Camila complained. "Stupid magical sports! Give me a good, decent, wholesome mixed martial arts match any day." There was nothing more fun than watching two people beat each other up in her opinion.
Willow: Oh, thorns.
Luz: Wh-What happened?
Willow: She caught the Rusty Smidge.
Luz: The what?
Boscha: Yeah, while you were celebrating your "victory", I caught this guy. It means we automatically win. All magic sports are like this.
"Not flyer derby," Hunter said, a hint of smugness in his voice. "That's why it's the best sport around."
Luz: That just invalidates all our efforts! If catching that thing is so important, why do anything else? There's no reason to watch any of the other players! That's such a stupid rule!
"You tell her, Luz!" Camila shouted. If there was one thing she hated about the Harry Potter books – other than their author's bigotry, of course – it was Quidditch.
Boscha: Well, we beat them and proved our social dominance. All is right in the hierarchy.
[Skara, Cat, and Amelia run up to Willow and Luz.]
Boscha: Hey!
Skara: Good game, Willow!
Camila smirked. It was lovely to see Boscha getting her comeuppance. Of course, she bet that part of the reason for everyone turning against her was because Amity was on the other side. If it was a choice between two people from influential families high up on the social hierarchy to follow, obviously people would follow the one that treated people better. That was just common sense.
Amelia: I had so much fun playing, you guys.
Willow: Oh, really?
Cat: Willow, you're really good. Would you want to be on our team?
Willow: Mm, thanks for the offer, but I think I'm done with grudgby for a while. Hey, where's...
[Amity groans, trying to stand up.]
Luz and Willow: Amity! [Runs up to her.]
Amity: I think—I think I hurt my leg. But, I'll be okay.
"My leg was broken for ages," Amity said. "When my parents found out I not only played a grudgby match against Boscha, but lost, they wouldn't let me see a healer. But Em eventually healed me. Mom was upset, but there was nothing she could do."
"Dios mío," Camila whispered. Every time she heard more about Amity's parents, the more she longed to punch them. Repeatedly. And maybe throw salt at them and see if they melted like the slugs they were. "Amity, I hope you understand that was not acceptable. I will never treat you like that, do you understand me?"
"Yeah," Amity said with a smile. "I understand, Camila."
Luz: Are you sure? I could help carry you if it really hurts.
Amity: [Blushing and chuckling nervously.] I'm fine! Who's Amity?
"Well, Amity happens to be my girlfriend, who I love a lot and should not be ashamed of herself at all," Luz said, and booped her on the nose. Amity giggled.
Luz: And, scoop! [She picks Amity up.]
"Oh my gosh, Luz," Camila said. "They were not joking around. You are strong!" Luz flexed her muscles. Amity's face went red.
Amity: [Chuckling nervously.] Oh, wow. Sports.
"Like I'm not a bi disaster around you," Luz assured her. "I like seeing you flustered." She leaned in. "There's plenty more where that came from."
"Eep!"
Gus: Can we have another montage?
Luz: Yeah! Montage, activate!
[Montage: Gus, Luz, and Willow all score goals, then lounging in huge flowers with spring-like stems; Gus uses his illusion magic to change their team's score of 10 to 1000; the three run up to the Owl House. King dances in his cheerleader outfit while Luz records on her phone.]
"OH, HE IS SO CUTE!" Camila and Hunter both said simultaneously. Hunter then realized what he said, and tried to whistle inconspicuously.
King: [Chuckles.] You're—You're not gonna show this to anyone, right?
Eda: Of course not. Keep cheering.
[Luz chuckles. The montage ends with Amity, now with a cast on her leg, walking into the Owl House, with Hooty sitting her on the couch with Luz and Willow, surrounded by Gus, King, and Eda.]
"So what was Eda doing while all this was going on?" Camila wondered.
"Oh, she was having a grudgby match with Lilith," Luz explained. "She agreed to join the Emperor's Coven if she lost. But she won!" She twisted her hands nervously. "Um, mom, the next two episodes are…a lot. I think I need a break."
Camila stood up. "No problem, Luz. I have some shopping to do anyway. We'll watch them when I get back, okay?" Luz nodded. "All right, everyone, remember! Only Luz or Vee as Luz can answer the door, no one is to leave the house, and no one but Luz and Vee can use anything in the kitchen." Everyone nodded. "Okay, see you soon!"
She left the room. "So what now?" Amity wondered.
"Ooh, I can show you some of mami's favorite animal documentaries!" Vee said, and turned on the television set.
"It's an animal you can't help but look up to. But what do we really know about giraffes?"
Everyone (including Luz, who decided to just go with the flow) ran from the room screaming.
