Luz quickly opened up the pocket and found a small box inside. She opened the box and found a potion vial and an envelope that read "OPEN IF I'M DEAD" in Eda's handwriting. Luz reluctantly put the box on her bookcase and tried to get some sleep like Camila suggested. It would be dishonorable to open the envelope when she had no clue if Eda was actually dead.
It took less than ten minutes for her to break and open the envelope. The letter inside read:
Well, kiddo, if you're reading this, it looks like my luck has finally run out. Or you decided to ignore my instructions in which case, kudos to you! That's the Bad Girl Coven way right there!
Now you're probably moping right now, and as your mentor/pseudo-mom (if you wouldn't mind me claiming that title), I'm hereby ordering you to stop. Not that you listen to me most of the time, but make an exception for a dead woman, would you? I don't know who killed me – probably that masked moron – but I'm sure I died with no regrets. And certainly I don't regret ever meeting you. You changed my life for the better.
I've asked my good friend Raine Whispers to look after you after I croaked. Now you've probably heard some mixed stuff about Raine. They've been a double agent for a long while and had to do some unpleasant but necessary stuff to keep their cover. But Raine's as solid a witch as they come. And to prove it, I've brewed a potion to give you my memories of the first time we met. You remember that story, don't you? Oh, no, wait, you don't, cause you fell asleep during it, you sleepyhead! Anyway, those memories will show you just what kind of witch Raine is.
I love you, Luz. Give them hell for me.
Your proud mentor,
Eda
Luz couldn't help but grin. She had expected the letter to make her feel even worse, set her guilt complex off even more, but seeing that Eda didn't blame her with her own eyes had actually helped her a lot. She felt lighter and happier. Without waiting for a second, she downed the potion and the memories flooded into her. It was so cool to see Eda and Raine as kids. And Eda was definitely right. Raine was a cool, butt kicking witch!
The next morning, Luz finally had a spring in her step as she joined her friends for the viewing of the next episode. She stopped in her tracks, however, when she saw how awful Hunter looked. He looked even more sleep deprived than usual and that was a considerable accomplishment indeed.
"Hunter, what's going on?" she asked.
"I'm fine!" Hunter snapped. He was not, in fact, fine. All night, he had been tormented by nightmares of Camila discovering just how horrible he had acted, how he had hurt her daughter, and trying to kill him with the chancla. Except since no one had ever mentioned what the chancla actually looked like, his subconscious had decided that it looked like a fiery mace, and given him the lovely image of him getting his head smashed open and simultaneously burning to death.
He knew there was no chance of his nightmares coming to fruition – as a trained soldier, he'd win every single time in a fight with Camila. The real problem would be what would happen after he killed her in self-defense: Vee would almost certainly kill him. A fight between him and a basilisk? Yeah, he stood no chance.
"If this is too soon, we don't have to do this right now," Camila said. "There's no rush."
"No," Hunter said with a shudder. He wanted to get it over with.
"Then without further ado, I present to you the adventures I had during the second season!" Luz announced. Camila was briefly confused, and then she remembered how Willow said they numbered their seasons in the Demon Realm.
[Open on Luz holding a ball of light in one hand and carrying the Owl Staff in the other through a cave. She stops when she sees a large shadow on the wall in front of her. Offscreen there is a deep laugh. Luz gasps.]
Garlog: Foolish child. Leave this place before you meet your demise.
Luz: Do not underestimate me, Garlog. For I am the good witch, Luz, hunter of monsters. [Perches the staff on her shoulder like a bazooka.] Now eat this sucka—what?
"Judge him by his size…I kinda did," Luz admitted. "But he did kill fifteen people, including two children, so justice was still done!"
[Garlog turns out to be a tiny creature casting a shadow standing in front of a lantern. Luz picks him up and he lets out a squeak trying to escape.]
Luz: You're Garlog? [Pulls out his wanted poster, depicting him as being much larger and worth 4,000 snails, compares it to the real thing.] This is pathetic.
"I think he used illusions to make himself look bigger," Luz explained.
Garlog: Small I may be, but you will soon know fear when I lay waste to all that you—
[He gets cut off by King, who eats him whole.]
Luz: King, drop it now. Drop it now!
[King mumbles and runs off.]
Luz: [Chases after him.] Drop it! No! I'm not gonna play right now! King!
Luz shook her head and gave a fond smile. She missed King so much.
-THEME SONG-
"See, this time, I put you and Lilith and Kikimora there, Hunter!" Luz said, jumping up and down in her seat.
"Lovely," Hunter said with more of a grimace than a smile. He didn't want Camila to be reminded he used to be the Golden Guard in every single episode!
[The Owl House is shown, wind howling. Cut to Luz's room, where Garlog is stuffed in a bottle while Luz sets her phone against it.]
Luz: [Boops Garlog's nose.] Boop! [Turns on camera to say hello to her mother.] Hola, Mama! You haven't heard from me in a while.
"See!" Luz said. "I didn't forget you, mom! I didn't hate living with you. Everything I did, it was to get back to you!"
"I see that, mija."
It's been a week and a half since the petrification ceremony. A week and a half since I destroyed the portal home. I had to. Emperor Belos was going to kill Eda if I didn't hand it over. But I couldn't let him use it, so I blew it up with some magic fire... [To herself.] She's not gonna understand any of this.
"Well, now I do," Camila said with a grin. "Perhaps you can show me some of these videos later. I bet you made one after you and Amity started dating, didn't you?"
"Uh…that one might have accidentally gotten deleted," Luz lied. She had, in fact, gone on a forty minute ramble about all of Amity's amazing qualities, then deleted it in a fit of embarrassment later on.
That's okay, Luz. Just keep moving forward. [To Camila.] This world is filled with inexplicable magical wonders, like this portal key! [Pulls out the item in question.] I don't know if it contains magic, but I'm gonna study all I can, and find a way back to you. A-And look! [Lifts up her leg to show King holding onto it.] I have friends to help me.
King: I'm never letting you go! You're never returning to the human realm!
Luz let out a sob. "He let me go…"
Luz: He doesn't mean that. [Covers camera.]
King: Yes, I do!
"He really didn't mean that," Luz hastened to assure her. "Well, maybe he did a little. But he never would have acted on it! He didn't, like, try to sabotage me or anything like that."
[Cut to Eda in the kitchen, where she is trying to cast magic.]
Luz: [Narrating.] This is Eda the Owl Lady, the most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. [Eda's magic fails.] Or at least she was until her curse overpowered her and weakened her magic. She's doing her best now.
[Scene switches to Lilith, who is wearing a new outfit and putting her old one away.]
Camila scowled. "You let that woman stay in your house?! Weren't you afraid she'd try to kill you again, Luz?"
"Aw, Lilith is a good person, mom," Luz said. "She just got tricked by Belos."
Camila shook her head disapprovingly. "Belos never told her to throw you off a bridge! There is no excuse for attempted murder of a child, Luz." Hunter gulped. He was so screwed, wasn't he? Maybe he should just run away. Head the whole thing off at the pass. No. He'd run enough. He'd face his fate, whatever it may be.
Luz: [Narrating.] Eda was cursed by her own sister, Lilith. And she spent her entire life looking for a way to undo it. It's still hard for everyone to trust each other, but maybe with time we can all become friends.
[Lilith stares out of the open window pensively, a small smile appearing on her face as Luz narrates. She jumps when Hooty appears in the window.]
Camila let out a shriek of horror. "I hope those two kill each other," she muttered. "It would be less than they deserve."
Hooty: Hello!
[Lilith screams, and slams the window in Hooty's face. Cut to outside the Owl House. Eda is seen constructing something.]
Luz: [Narrating.] Even though Eda gets frustrated, she's found new ways to make up for her lost powers.
Eda: Check it, Luz! A new hunting weapon. I will call her the Stab-Catcher.
Luz: [Narrating.] Without the portal, Eda has no human garbage to sell. So, we've resorted to working odd jobs to keep food on the table.
Luz tried her best – Eda didn't want her to feel guilty! – but she couldn't help but feel awful that Eda had been forced to resort to such things.
Eda: Hey, King, did you know that apple is a hat? [Aims Stab-Catcher.]
King: Really? [Puts an apple on his head, not knowing he's standing behind a target.]
"NO, EDA!" Camila shouted. "DON'T DO IT!"
Luz: King! Hey, no! King! [Drops camera, rushes to get King out of harm's way.]
"That is hardly responsible motherly behavior," Camila said scathingly. "Does she do that sort of thing to you, Luz?" Luz vigorously shook her head.
This week we're bounty hunters. Next week we could be anything. [Cut to a shot of Luz back in her room.] So, Mom, please don't be scared. I'm growing more and more every day, and I'm gonna do my best to become a full-fledged witch, and get home to you safe and sound. Te quiero, Mama. Te lo prometo, regresaré a casa pronto.
"And so you did," Camila said, and kissed Luz on the forehead.
Eda: [Offscreen.] Luz! [Luz looks out the window. Cut to a shot of Eda and Lilith waiting outside.] Time to bring these bad boys to market!
Lilith: [She pats feathers off herself; grunts.] Eda, do you own anything that isn't covered in feathers?
Eda: I had to deal with a curse for 30 years, so I think you can handle a few feathers.
"Yeah, you tell her," Camila said. She was really trying to forgive Lilith, for Luz's sake, but it really rankled that she'd gone from trying to kill Luz to being Luz's roommate in just the space of a week and a half, and no one seemed at all to care.
[Switch to Bonesborough, where a statue of Emperor Belos has been placed and Emperor's Coven guards are everywhere.]
Luz: Wow, the Emperor is really taking over.
Eda: I see it too, Luz. And I'm trying to stay civil. [Kicks a demon decked out in Emperor's Coven apparel.]
"If that's her trying to stay civil, I don't wanna know what she'll look like when she decides to stop," Amity said.
[Eda places the bag of captured demons on a scale. She and Luz wait while a shopkeeper behind a booth reading BOUNTY reads the scale.]
Shopkeeper: Tsk. Your payment.
Eda: A single snail? Are you kidding me?
Shopkeeper: [Laughs.] Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't done yet. [Snaps snail in half.]
"They can't treat you like that!" Amity said indignantly. "Don't they know who they're dealing with?!"
Eda: You can't do this to me. Do you know who I am?
Shopkeeper: Yeah, you're Eda the Owl Lady. What are you gonna do? We all know you're powerless now.
Eda: [Growls, tries to cast a spell but the spell circle disintegrates.] Ah! What the—
Townspeople: Ah, this is awkward; Uh-oh.
Eda: I don't need your pity. [Holds up her own wanted poster.] I was the most wanted criminal for years. You should fear me.
"The will of the public is fickle," Gus said wisely. "One moment, you're on top, the next, yesterday's news."
[A passing garbageman grabs her wanted poster and puts it in the trash cart he is pushing.]
Townspeople: No magic? Not so wanted anymore.
Lilith: [Laughs.] Don't worry, sister. At least my image still commands respect and fear.
[She poses in front of a Coven recruitment poster in which she is making the same pose. The poster is promptly torched by a garbageman holding a flamethrower.]
King: [Laughs.] You're a traitor.
Lilith: What's going on? This is anarchy. Who told you to do this?
[Three new Coven recruitment posters of the Golden Guard fly onto the wall. Luz grabs one.]
Hunter laughed nervously and tried to avoid looking at anyone's eyes. Willow gave him a sympathetic grin. Actually, she had rather thought the posters were extremely distinguished and even thought on occasion Hunter cut quite a dashing figure in them.
Luz: The Golden Guard? Did you know him in the Coven, Lilith?
Lilith: Unfortunately, I did. [Grabs the poster from Luz.] He always got special treatment because he was the genius teen prodigy.
Hunter opened his mouth to defend himself, but then closed it when he realized that his only defense was that he only got special treatment because he was the emperor's "nephew" and that was actually worse.
But he's really just a brat.
For some reason, it really hurt Hunter to hear those words. Lilith had been one of the most respected figures in the empire. He thought they actually got along fairly well. But it seemed she was just putting on a civil face. She really hated him. He hadn't even done anything to her, and she still hated him. It wasn't fair.
"I…I'm not a brat," he said quietly, unsure of why he was even saying them. "I mean, sure, I could get a little self-righteous at times, but we were supposed to be on the same side!"
"Hey, it's okay, Hunter," Camila assured him. "Who cares what Lilith thinks? She thought Belos would cure Eda – she's hardly a good judge of character."
If he's in charge... vomit.
"For your information, I happened to run the coven with efficiency and grace," Hunter said, then frowned. That was actually a bad thing, wasn't it? Damn it, it was still hard to adjust to the fact that literally everything he thought he had ever known was wrong.
Camila's head snapped over to Hunter. He had been running the Emperor's Coven? But he was just a child! Genius teen prodigy or not, that was just too much pressure to put on a sixteen year old. Why had Belos done that? Why had he given one of the most important positions in the empire to a child? With the amount of stress that must have caused him, it was no wonder the bags under his eyes were threatening to swallow his head.
Hunter clenched his fists, mistaking Camila's pity for anger. "I…I swear to you, I thought I was doing the right thing. And I didn't know about the basilisks! I give you my word! Until One attacked Hexside, I thought they were still extinct. And Belos told me wild witches had brought her back."
"I think it's true, mom," Vee said. "Wrath reported directly to Belos. I don't think Hunter or Lilith knew about us."
"All right, Hunter," Camila said gently. She could tell how much her disapproval was stressing her houseguest out. "I believe you."
[Lilith balls up the poster and throws it to a trashcan. It hovers right before entering, and then flies back and adheres itself to Lilith's face. She tries to rip it off, but gives up and stalks off.]
Luz: [Side-hugs Eda.] Hey, I know! What we need is a confidence boost. Why don't we take on the biggest bounty we can find?
"I should have known this episode would involve you deliberately putting yourself in danger once more," Camila grumbled.
It'll be great! [Runs up to a bulletin board labeled "Greg's List" and reads the posters there.] Hmm. Lost Cerberus, no. Witch cackling lessons? [Chuckles.] Uh, but maybe not today. Aha! [Takes poster down and shows it off.] There's something called a "Selkidomus" ravaging boats up and down the coast. We'll be on a high-seas adventure.
Despite herself, Camila was quite intrigued. She was always a fan of pirate movies and the like. This promised to be an interesting adventure.
Eda: Hmm... no. We gotta keep a low profile while my powers are weakened. And we need fast cash. [Gasps.] How about this guy? [Gestures to a poster.]
Luz: "The Abominable Cutie Pie"?
Eda: No, no, no. I hear it's very dangerous. [Gasps.] And look, there he is.
"He may not have been very dangerous, but he was actually quite the evil little bas – uh, guy," Luz quickly corrected after sneaking a glance at Vee, who rolled her eyes. "He murdered a bunch of kids and talked in the theater."
"I hope he got sent to the special hell, then," Vee said.
[She points to where the little demon is standing between two Hexside students, a lollipop in his hand.]
Abominable Cutie Pie: [Giggles; runs off and climbs the statue of Emperor Belos.] You'll never catch me!
[Luz climbs the statue.]
Abominable Cutie Pie: [Deadpan.] You did it. You caught me. [Falls into Luz's hands.]
"I mean, I was hoping for the bounty hunting gig to be more glamorous," Luz complained. "But nope."
[Luz groans. King climbs up to Luz.]
Eda: [Sighs.] Things aren't looking great, Lily. This bounty hunting stuff isn't putting food on the table.
[Lilith speaks intelligible under the poster.]
Eda: Oh, I'm sure Luz could handle bigger bounties, but if we wanna eat we don't have the luxury to mess up even once.
Luz looked down at the floor. Even now, even after being absolved, the guilt still ate away at her.
[Lilith responds intelligible under the poster.]
Eda: No apple blood. I spent the money on griffin eggs for Luz. There's not a lot she can digest here, so I make sure to have her favorites around.
Camila gave a fond smile. Eda had certainly come a long way since taking Luz hostage. She was sacrificing her happiness for Luz's – the sure sign of a true and worthy mother.
"She shouldn't have done that," Luz said bitterly.
"Luz, you don't know what it's like to be a mother," Camila said. "A mother would do anything for her children, and do it gladly. Keeping you safe and happy no doubt made Eda happier than a thousand bottles of apple blood would have." Amity shifted uncomfortably. Her mother certainly wouldn't have done the same.
[The sisters head off.]
Abominable Cutie Pie: That's rough, buddy. [Screams as King shoves him to the ground.]
[Luz lands on top of the Abominable Cutie Pie after jumping to the ground.]
Luz: This is awful. Eda wouldn't be in this situation if it weren't for me. Maybe it would be better if I never came here. I can't change the past, but I can still change the future. I'm gonna help Eda and prove that I'm more than just a burden.
Camila quickly hugged Luz. "Oh, cariño. You're not a burden."
"I…I'm not?" Luz said, hating how raw her voice sounded.
"No, of course not," Camila hastened to assure her.
"I…I thought…"
"Well, you thought wrong. You have never been a burden, Luz Noceda. Even when you got into trouble, you were still not a burden. You are a child. You will mess up. That is part of your job, to make mistakes and learn from them."
Luz gave a weak smile. "Thank you, mami."
[Cut to the Bonesborough Dock, where she slams the Selkidomus's wanted poster onto a barrel.]
Luz: The Selkidomus hunt. I want in.
"Por supuesto," Camila muttered. "Why did I expect anything else?"
[Ship horn blowing.]
Camila leaned forward, fascinated. She had no idea the Isles had harnessed what looked to be steam power. She would have expected them to still be using sail ships.
Salty: You think you can handle this, squirt?
Luz: I can handle anything.
[Salty lets Luz in and nods at the Golden Guard, who closes the window of his quarters bearing the Emperor's sigil. Cut to Salty's ship sailing through the Boiling Sea.]
"Oh my gosh, Luz, you look so adorable in that outfit!" Amity said, bouncing on her seat and clapping her hands rapidly. Luz blushed.
Luz: When we defeat the Selkidomus and get a boatload of snails, Eda won't have to worry about money for a long time.
King: King want a cracker!
Salty: All hands!
[Luz joins the rest of the crew, lined up in front of Salty.]
Salty: Alright, crew. The Selkidomus has been ravaging the coastline. It was last seen in the Simmering Shoals. You know the drill, "Snag the quarry, [Drops large sack of snails onto the deck.] get the money galore-y." We all do the work, we all get a cut.
"I don't think galore-y is a word," Gus complained.
[All cheering.]
Fish Sailor: I have many debts!
Salty: Till then, keep everything shipshape. This ain't no pleasure cruise. [Throws a broom to Luz.] Don't be a burden, sea squirt.
Camila cleared her throat. "I'm not a burden," Luz recited dutifully.
"And don't you forget it."
Luz: Oh, you don't have to worry about me.
[Cut to barnacles on the front of the ship, then reveal Salty offer Luz a scraper. She gives King, on her shoulder, a look and uses a plant glyph to lower herself down. The barnacles grunt at her. Luz hisses, causing them to quiet down. Luz uses King's horn to scrape them off the ship.
While, naturally, Camila didn't approve of Luz running off to put herself in yet more danger, she did have to admire her commitment to doing her job properly. Luz wasn't really a fan of menial work like this, so it was a nice change of pace to see her so invested in fulfilling her responsibilities.
Cut to the bellows of the ship, which Salty is shoveling coal in to. He offers the shovel to Luz, but she shakes her head and pushes it away. She activates three fire glyphs directly into the bellows and closes the door. The ship's horn blows as the ship speeds ahead.
"Very clever, Luz!" Camila said with a grin. She did wonder, however, why no one used their own magic to light the fire instead of coal. Still, she wasn't complaining to have a chance to see her daughter impress her coworkers.
Salty nods. Cut to the main deck, where the crew is clapping in time with Luz dancing. She turns around to reveal a large bug on her back.]
Camila clenched her fists. She was never going to get used to the wildlife of the Isles.
She launches it over King—holding a cracker—and various birds into the sea. Salty approaches her.]
Salty: Well, ye had me confront my own biases and I got nothing but respect for ya now, squirt. I mean, sailor.
"You really have matured, haven't you, Luz?" Camila said. Luz shrugged. What good was it maturing if she kept on making mistakes?
Luz: Thanks, Salty. You make me feel like a real part of the crew.
Salty: Well, that's because you arghhhh.
"Salty's a good sort," Luz said. "Not everyone who serves the empire is evil, you know. Most of them are just misguided."
[All cheering.]
King: Boo!
[He waves his cracker in displeasure. One of the birds tries to grab it from him.]
King: Hey, that's mine, you feather duster!
"You deserve it for booing my friend," Willow said.
[King and the bird both tug at the cracker. The ship hits a large wave, which sends King tumbling into the captain's quarters. The doors close behind him.]
King: Oof. Hey, King want a cracker! [Tries to open the doors, gasps, sees box of crackers on the desk.] Ooh!
"Hang on, why are we seeing this if it's from King's perspective?" Gus wondered. Hunter gave a nervous laugh.
[King scrambles up the desk and grabs some crackers from the box. He notices a letter below the box.]
King: Huh? [Picks up letter.] Is that the Emperor's sigil?
[King turns up the brightness on the lamp next to him. The brighter light reveals that the room is covered in the Emperor's sigil.]
King: This ship belongs to the Emperor? Oh, boy. I gotta tell Luz.
Golden Guard: Unfortunately, you won't have the chance.
"Damn, Hunter," Willow said with a whistle and a grin that somehow made Hunter's stomach feel like it was being tied in knots. "You got the ominous dialogue down pat, didn't you, buddy?"
"Uh…yes?"
[King screams. Cut to Salty's ship, which enters darker waters.]
Salty: We're here. The Simmering Shoals. Eyes peeled, mates.
[A burning ship sails past. Sailors take off their hats and pay respects.]
Salty: She's close.
[The Selkidomus tail thwacks against the side of the ship.]
Luz: She's here!
[Luz corners the Selkidomus with ice pillars, then wraps it in vines. She starts pulling it onto the ship.]
Camila was impressed. Luz had sure come a long way since her arrival in the Isles. Now she was able to subdue a sea monster and make it look almost effortless.
Salty: Help her, boys! Put your backs into it.
[Luz ties the vine onto the ship.]
Luz: I did it!
[Explosion on deck. Luz falls. The Selkidomus breaks free and swims away. Luz sees a silhouette of someone carrying a bag of money.]
Salty: Is that a—a ghost pirate?
"Ghost pirate! Yes!" Camila shouted and put her fist in the air. This was going to be so awesome! Unless the ghost pirate tried to kill Luz, of course. Still, if it was a ghost, then how was it tangible enough to hold the money?
Luz: The money! We're being robbed.
[The thief jumps off the ship onto a speedboat and heads to a nearby island. Luz summons a boat-shaped block of ice, jumps on, then propels herself with a fire spell after them.]
Salty: [Laughing.] Show that specter what for, Luz.
[Luz closes in on the shore. The ice has melted to barely support her feet. She loses her balance and is sent flying, colliding into the thief who drops the money at the shore. It opens and it gets washed away. Closeup of Luz and the thief's face.]
Luz and thief: The money!
[The thief's eyes are gold and grey. Luz walks over and knocks off her hat, revealing it's Eda.]
Camila did a face palm. Of course it was Eda. Why had she expected anything else? It was so disappointing. She was really hoping to see Luz fight a ghost pirate.
"I can't believe she decided to become a pirate," Luz complained. "And she didn't even take me along! Piracy is so cool! Well, robbing ships, that is. Pirating shows is mostly okay, morally speaking, but pirating books is wrong, because it deprives the author of the royalties they rightfully deserve. If you want a book for free, get it from your local library!"
"Luz, who are you even talking to?" Gus demanded. Luz just scoffed to hide the fact that she did not, in fact, know.
Luz: Eda!
Eda: [Sheepishly chuckling.] Hey.
Luz: Why are you robbing our ship? And what happened to your legs?
Camila let out a shriek of horror. "Please give me some advanced warning next time, Luz!"
"It's been a long summer!" Luz protested. "I don't remember every single detail!"
Eda: [Her legs reattach.] It's called "disguising your tracks". [Stands.] Now, why were you on that ship to begin with? You coulda gotten killed!
Golden Guard: That can still be arranged.
"That was hyperbole!" Hunter said quickly. "I'm not a killer! Of children."
Hello, criminals. What's about to happen should be relatively painless, if you just do what I say.
Hunter tried to make himself as small as possible and avoid Camila's eyes. The worst part about seeing his old self wasn't the shame he felt about serving the will of a monster unquestioningly. No, the worst part was that a part of him missed being his old self. He was so confident and happy with that mask to hide his insecurities. He never doubted anything, much less himself. Now he was a better person, but he was a lot more miserable too.
Luz: And why would we do that?
Golden Guard: Because none of you can use real magic.
Luz smirked. "Kind of the pot calling the kettle black there, Hunter."
"I don't know what that means."
Eda: You don't know that!
Golden Guard: Maybe not, but I do know you're standing on a plant that eats flesh.
"Yeah, I was about to bring that up," Willow admitted.
[Luz and Eda look down, notice the plant is steaming, and quickly jumps off it, freaking out.]
Golden Guard: [Laughs.] Okay—the human will remain a sailor to repay all the money she lost, while the Owl Lady will be arrested, again, for attacking one of the Emperor's ships.
Willow looked around to see if anyone was watching before she surreptitiously fanned herself a little. She knew it was wrong, but there was something quite appealing to watch Hunter in action like this. His sheer, unrelenting confidence was, dare she say it, very attractive. Little did she know Luz was watching her with a smirk.
Luz: "Emperor's ship"?
Eda: They're the only ones worth robbing. [To the Golden Guard.] Why are you guys hunting the Selkidomus? It's a peaceful creature, and you're provoking it!
Golden Guard: The Emperor ordered me to slay one. I'm just following orders.
Hunter shuddered a little. Was Belos already planning on making another grimwalker with the Selkidomus scales?
Eda: Well, I'm just gonna smack you around a bit! [Rips off her arm to use as a weapon
"Oh, God!" Camila shouted and clutched her stomach. Gus held out Dr. Everton Q. Pinkerton VII, but Camila shook her head. Gus breathed a sigh of relief. He'd be happy to help out Camila in any way he could, but he was happy his beloved bucket remained unspoiled.
swings but misses and is blasted away.]
Luz: [Appears from behind him, attempts to use a fire glyph.] Leave Eda alone!
Golden Guard: How about... [Powers his staff.] I leave you dangling above the Boiling Sea?!
Hunter flinched and risked a look at Camila. He was expecting a look of towering fury. What he got was instead even worse: she looked disappointed in him. "Hunter," she said sternly. "What you did there was wrong."
Hunter nodded. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Noceda."
"I know you are, but do you understand why what you did was wrong?"
Hunter furrowed his brow, trying to find the answer that would placate her the best. But he couldn't think of it, so instead, he just opted to tell the truth. "Because Luz never did anything to deserve being thrown into the sea. And even if she did, she's a child. And hurting children is wrong."
"That's right, Hunter," Camila said in a gentler tone. "I know your morality is…skewed from all your time in the coven. I'm going to help you fix that. I want you to learn from your mistakes."
"I have, I swear!" Hunter said. "I really have."
"We'll see."
[He manipulates the land to move them directly above the steaming waters. Cut to a close up of the steam.]
Golden Guard: Around these parts, just the steam is enough to cause third-degree burns.
"Causing third degree burns is also wrong, Hunter," Camila pointed out in an almost didactic tone.
[He brings them back to land.]
Golden Guard: But I don't have to be that mean. No one will have to be a sailor or get arrested, if one of you follows those Selkidomus tracks and slays the beast. Here! I'll help!
[He materializes a sword. Luz whines.]
Golden Guard: Ugh, you're making this difficult... Go, or I drown the bird.
"He's not a bird, Hunter!" Luz snapped.
"Also, you shouldn't go around drowning people," Camila pointed out.
"Yeah, that too!" Luz agreed.
[The Golden Guard lifts up the birdcage and pulls the shade aside, revealing King.]
King: Weh?
[The Golden Guard drops the shade.]
King: Ah, it's dark now. [Snoring.]
Luz: Fine. I'll do it.
Eda: Luz, wait! Luz!
[Cut to Luz and Eda.]
Eda: Luz, don't hurt the Selkidomus. We can find another way out of this.
Luz: You heard what he said, Eda. If you and King want to be free... then I have to do this alone.
"Ay, Luz," Camila said, shaking her head. "You don't have to do things alone anymore, remember? You have a family now."
"I…guess," Luz said. "I've just gotten so used to it. But I'll try to do better."
Eda: What's this "alone" business? Don't you remember? Us weirdos have to—
Luz: What? Stick together? Because you stuck with me, you lost your magic. You almost got turned to stone, and now you can't even afford your apple blood because you're worried about what I need to eat. It's my fault all this happened. That's why I've got to do this alone. I'll make it all up to you, Eda the Owl Lady. I promise.
"That wasn't your fault, Luz," Amity said. "It was all Belos. Everything that happened was his fault. He tried to kill Eda, he made it impossible for her to find work!"
"No…no, it was my fault," Luz mumbled. She knew the truth. Without her helping Belos, his reign of terror never would have happened. "You'll see."
[Luz falls backwards, down into the Selkidomus' den.]
Eda: Luz!
[Luz falls straight onto the Selkidomus' head. She stirs and roars.]
Luz: Whoa!
[She dodges a Selkidomus attack, and holds up a glyph.]
Luz: All right, let's do this.
[Luz summons an ice pillar, but Eda swings on a vine and grabs Luz mid-air, tackling her into cover.]
Eda: You think throwing your life away is gonna help me? Well, it won't. You helped me find King's crown when you barely knew me. You saved me from turning to stone and you even got me talking to my sister again. So, unfortunately for you, my life is pretty great, because I'm friends with Luz, the human.
Everyone gave a cheer. "Yeah!" Gus shouted.
"Hear, hear!" Willow said.
Amity kissed Luz on the cheek. "I like you a lot," she whispered in Luz's ear.
"Our lives are pretty great too with you around," Hunter admitted. "I'm glad I didn't throw you into the Boiling Sea."
"You're an awesome sister, Luz!"
"And a wonderful daughter."
Luz grinned. "Aw, you guys are so nice!"
[Luz starts tearing up, but stops when Eda grabs her cheeks.]
Eda: Now, your guilt-ridden brain is clouding your judgment. There's gotta be a way out of this, where no one has to get hurt.
[Behind them, a baby Selkidomus sounds.]
"Oh, he's so cute!" Camila said. For a few seconds, she lost herself in a fantasy of what it would be like to be a vet in the Demon Realm and work with all sorts of cute, terrifying, and terrifyingly cute animals like the Selkidomus. Then she shook her head. She had responsibilities in the Human Realm.
Luz: [Gasps.] Eda, do you want to learn your first glyph?
[Above them, the Golden Guard is playing with King's birdcage. He lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]
King: Weh?
[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief. The Golden Guard lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]
King: Weh?
[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief. The Golden Guard lifts the shade. King wakes up and spins around.]
"I'm sensing a pattern here," Gus said.
King: Weh?
[He drops the shade. King sighs in relief.]
Golden Guard: [Laughing.] You're actually weirdly endearing.
"And so are you," Luz said, putting an arm around Hunter's shoulder.
Hunter scowled at her, but made no move to extricate himself from her grip.
King: No, I'm not. [Snoring.]
[The Golden Guard looks up and sees shadows on the wall of Eda and Luz fighting the Selkidomus. Luz slays her, and begins dragging her head into the Golden Guard's view.]
Golden Guard: Oh, that thing smells awful. Why are you touching it with your hands? Gross.
Luz: You're gross. Now give me King.
Golden Guard: Actually, he smells pretty bad too. Take him.
[He tosses her King's birdcage.]
Golden Guard: Thank you for your service. You can find your own way home. And try to stay out of trouble. [Looking sinister.] The Emperor is not a merciful man. [Waves.] Bye!
Willow couldn't help herself. She dissolved into a fit of giggles. "Say it again!" she begged Hunter between laughs. "Please!"
"I don't know…"
"Please?" Willow said with her best puppy Cerberus eyes.
"BYE!" Hunter shouted with his trademark wave. Willow gave a huge grin at him. Hunter couldn't help but grin back.
"This is going to get so annoying," Gus muttered to himself.
[The Golden Guard gets on his staff and vanishes. Luz blows a raspberry after he leaves. Beside the Selkidomus corpse, actually made entirely out of plant magic, Eda is drawing light glyphs and casting them.]
"Oh, so that's how you did it!" Hunter said. He had always wondered how he'd gotten fooled.
"You didn't get into too much trouble for that?" Luz worried.
"No worse than any other mission I failed," Hunter deflected, the feel of the emperor's fists on him echoing through his mind even now. Luz seemed placated by his words. Good. There were some things no one needed to know.
[Luz walks up to her.]
Eda: My first glyph. Did I do good?
Luz: Yeah. You did great.
[Enter the Selkidomus and her baby. The baby comes up to Luz and hugs her.]
"You did good, Luz," Camila praised. "You did the right thing."
Luz: Baby! Awww.
King: Wait, what is that?
Eda: Don't worry, King. Once the mother saw we weren't a threat to her baby, she calmed down. [To the Selkidomus.] This area is dangerous. You need to move further out into the sea.
[The Selkidomus nods, then regurgitates a pile of golden selkigris.]
Eda: Hot dang! It gave you the treasure of the sea.
Luz: Gold? Tuna?
Eda: It's selkigris. Ah, people pay big money for it at the Night Market. Ah, feel that money, Luz. [Lathers a handful of the stuff on Luz's face.]
"See! It all worked out in the end!"
"I would have preferred it to work out not quite so grossly, but you still did a good job, Luz," Camila said. She was relieved Eda wasn't going to have to struggle for money anymore, if only because it would make feel Luz better about herself.
Luz: No, Eda! Stop!
Eda: Luxuriate in it. What, you don't like to luxuriate? There's a whole pile of luxury right in here.
Luz: No, no, no, no, no.
[Eda throws Luz into the Selkigris.]
Eda: Move over!
[Eda jumps in, flattening the pile.]
Luz: Eda!
[They all laugh.]
"That was a good day," Luz admitted. "I wish I had time for lots more good days…"
"You will, Luz," Amity said. "You will eventually."
Luz looked over at Camila. "I wish I could be as sure…"
[A tired Eda, Luz, and King walk through the door of the Owl House.]
Eda: We're home. [Trips over Hooty.]
Lilith: Eda, come here. I have a gift for you. To prove that I'm trustworthy, I'm giving you a peek inside the Emperor's Castle.
[Cauldron shows a corridor at the Emperor's Castle that splits into two paths. Four distracted guards at each side are doing nothing. A guard on the left turns to the guard on the right.]
Hunter groaned. This made him look terrible! How was Camila going to respect him if he couldn't even keep the guards in the castle properly attentive?
Guard #1: 'Sup?
Guard #2: 'Sup?
Luz: What are we supposed to do with this?
Lilith: Whatever you want. Don't you see? These troops don't know what to do with themselves. So, go crazy. Pull whatever pranks your heart desires. They're clueless without me.
"I wouldn't say clueless," Hunter said defensively.
Eda: Oh, Lily, you couldn't have been more right. And that Golden Guard... what a chump.
"Hey!" Hunter shouted. "I'm not a chump! I don't know what that means, exactly, but I do know I'm not it!"
"Oh, you're a chump all right," Luz said. "But you're our chump now, Hunter."
"Yay?"
Oh, I'm in a good mood. Who wants to get takeout and draw faces on Hooty?
Hooty: [Shakes head.] No...
King and Luz: Yay! Me, me, me! I do! Yeah! I'm in!
Lilith: I'll protect you, Hootsifer.
Camila gave a bewildered look at Luz. "Yeah…they went on some sort of bonding adventure while I was gone," Luz said. "I purposely avoided learning the details, cause, you know, Hooty."
Eda: Alright, what do we wanna eat?
Luz: Anything but seafood.
King: Crackers.
Eda: We're not ordering crackers.
Hooty: Bees!
Lilith: I'm fine with whatever. Things are starting to feel right again.
"All right!" Camila said, much more relieved she didn't have to deal with as much trauma as the last episode had caused. "Let's move on to –"
"Hang on a second!" Hunter said. "That's it? You're not angry at me? You're not going to hate me? You're not gonna punish me? Kick me out?"
Camila turned to face him, her expression kind. As a child, Hunter used to lay awake wondering what his mother had been like. Belos had told him that Hunter's father had been his brother, so there wasn't much mystery there – Hunter just assumed the two would be alike. But his mother…that was an enigma. A mystery. He had wanted a mother so badly. And he wanted his mother to look just like Camila did now.
"Hunter, sweetie, I don't hate you," Camila said gently. "And I'm sure as hell not going to kick you out when you have nowhere else to go."
"But…but you hate Lilith!" Hunter protested. "You wanted Luz to eat her spleen and rend her bones!"
Camila inhaled sharply. She had never considered how her bloodthirsty calls for vengeance would have affected Hunter. "Hunter, I apologize for that," she said. Hunter blinked. When was the last time an adult had apologized to him? Had it ever happened? "It was inappropriate. I let my temper get the better of me."
"It's okay…"
"No, it's not," Camila said. "I frightened you, didn't I?" Hunter hesitated for a long while, then nodded. "Hunter, you are a child. Lilith, on the other hand, was a full grown adult. There is a profound difference." She sighed. "Perhaps I have been too harsh on her. I…I will try to think about that. But you have nothing to fear from me. I realize my words may not convince you. I only hope my actions will in time."
Hunter nodded. "Thank you."
"You do not have to thank me for doing the bare minimum, niño," Camila said, unable to stop a note of sadness from entering her voice. "So what's next?"
"Oh, you're gonna love the next one, mom!" Luz assured her. "It's the next step on the road to Lumity!"
"Ooh, how lovely! I can't wait."
