Luz took a deep breath. She was almost entirely certain no one else but her and Hunter knew Philip was Belos – and she would have noticed, for her powers of observations were top notch – but she had to be prepared for the possibility Hunter would let slip something when he saw her help Belos. But she was prepared. She reached out to Eda's ex-husband in Gravity Falls, Oregon and asked him to take her in after her family and friends all decided she was too horrible to stomach. He had seemed skeptical a mother as caring as Camila would do that, but what did he know? It's not like he ever made any massive mistakes he regretted for the rest of his life.
She'd booked Greyhound tickets from New Haven to Portland with Camila's credit card. She'd find a way to reimburse her later. Once there, she'd hitchhike to Gravity Falls and start up a new life there. She'd learned on the internet that Eda's ex-husband had quite a few doctorates and was an expert in both parapsychology and interdimensional physics. That seemed at odds with the fact he was also a con artist who ran a tourist trap, but they had to be the same person. After all, it's not like he had a twin brother out there! If anyone could help her build a portal to the Demon Realm, it'd be Dr. Stanford Pines. Once the portal was made, she'd tell her former friends and family. After all, it was her fault they were trapped there.
And then? Who knows? Maybe she'd write a fiction book about her experiences in the Demon Realm, become the best selling author she always dreamed of. Maybe one day she'd be able to wipe the blood off her hands. But she doubted it. There was so much of it. Centuries worth. And the pain of losing everyone she loved would be hard to survive. But she'd survive losing her father. She could survive everything else.
"Man, these Cheetos are really something," Gus said, walking into the living room with a bag of the chips in his hands. His hand was already stained orange. "I think I can't feel my tongue anymore!"
"Just take it easy, cariño," Camila warned him. "I don't want to take any chances with your health. It would be bad for us all if you had to go to the hospital. Ready to get started, everyone?"
Luz laughed hysterically for the better part of a minute, and then just nodded. Everyone stared at her, extremely concerned.
[Scene opens with Luz inside her room at the Owl House.]
Amity looked over at the note on the board that said Luz wanted to buy her new gloves and smiled. Her girlfriend was so sweet!
[She is sitting on the floor going through different books. She then notices her echo mouse running on a running wheel.]
Luz: [Sighs.] You and me both, buddy. I can't figure out what I messed up when I made that ding-danged door.
[Luz is suddenly distracted by a clinking sound. Luz comes down to the living room wearing a party hat and notices Lilith, Tinella, Gwen, Morton, Steve, Eda, King, and an unknown woman standing around chatting. She approaches Hooty.]
"Lilith was appointed the new assistant curator of the Supernatural Museum of History," Luz explained. "She's really good at it!"
Hunter nodded in agreement. "Even as leader of the Emperor's Coven, Lilith was renowned for her historical symposiums. Attendance was mandatory." Lilith no doubt missed the opportunity to infodump to a captive audience, and given that the doors were always barred during her lectures, that was not a metaphor.
Luz: Hooty! Did I miss the toast?
Hooty: Yes, but not the "app-pellet-tizers".
[Hooty shows Luz a plate with some owl pellets on it. One of them is still moving and screaming.]
"You know, maybe I'm insane, but that actually looks pretty tasty," Camila said, as surprised as she was admitting it as she was to be thinking it in the first place.
Hooty: You want a- There's an extra one. I'm working on it.
[Hooty attempts to cough out another owl pellet.]
"NEVER MIND!" Camila screamed. Gus clutched Dr. Everton Q. Pinkerton VII closer to him. He was extraordinarily grateful towards Camila towards her hospitality, but no longer would he allow his beloved bucket to be befouled. Fortunately, the danger passed without incident.
Luz: No, no, no! That's okay. Uh, where's Lilith? We want to congratulate her.
[Luz lifts her hat to show her Echo Mouse hidden in it. Suddenly, a whip appears, grabs one of Hooty's "app-pellet-tizers" and brings it outside. The unknown woman catches the falling "app-pellet-tizer" with her hand.]
Woman: Oh, I wish I could stay longer, but I must be off on my next adventure. [Throws away the "app-pellet-tizer".]
[Luz peeks outside the door and sees Lilith approaching the unknown woman.]
Woman: It's such a delight to see my little bookworm back in the historical world after all these years.
Lilith: Uh, thank you, Flora, but it's just a small job. Only an assistant. I'm surprised you even heard about this.
Flora: The Emperor wanted to make sure you weren't getting into any trouble. And to clear out your office. I left a box of your knick-knacks inside. Wish you took more from my tutelage, dear. History's supposed to be exciting, after all!
Camila narrowed her eyes. This had a trap written all over it.
[Flora uses her whip to catch a flying griffin and drags it down to the ground. She then jumps onto the Griffin's back and whips it, flying away with it.]
Luz: Who was that?
Lilith: Flora D'splora.
Camila burst out laughing. "Seriously?!"
"I know, right?" Luz said. "It makes me wonder just how much has been leaking into the Human Realm from the Demon Realm in recent years."
Willow raised a hand. "I don't get it."
"Flora's name is similar to a character from a kid's show Luz used to adore as a kid," Camila explained. "She would watch those episodes on repeat…ah, good times." Simpler times too. As much as Camila loved having her two new children and their friends in her life – to say nothing of Luz's very awesome girlfriend – a part of Camila missed the old days when it was just her, Manny, and Luz.
Bad-girl historian, celebrity, and my former mentor in the Emperor's Coven.
Luz: I have questions about that name.
Lilith: And I have questions about MY LIFE! All I ever got to do was desk work, while she goofed off riding wild snake horses and-
Luz: [Gasps] Snorses!
Camila laughed good naturedly. Luz absolutely loved snakes from a young age. She remembered how she would collect the "pajamas" of garden snakes and try to show them to her peers. And how the other parents around Camila would mock Luz for an action that honestly wasn't any less gross than many kids were at that age. Though, of course, Camila wasn't entirely certain, if she had to take a stab at it, she'd guess Luz's palisman would be a snake.
Lilith: -And, and eating mummy jerky! Well, I can be just as exciting as Flora. I'll come up with an exhibit that'll knock the Titan's socks off!
"Joke's on her, the Titan doesn't wear socks!" Luz said with a wink. They all looked at her, confused.
[Lilith storms into the house. Luz shouts after her.]
Luz: Congratulations on your new job!
-THEME SONG, but it is cut short and only shows the show's title.-
"No overly elaborate theme today, Luz?" Hunter asked, unable to keep a note of concern out of his voice. Luz seemed even more down than usual, and he was genuinely concerned about his little sister's welfare. He was determined to be the best brother ever. Not that Belos had set a very high bar for that, what with him killing his own brother. But still, he was going to rise to the occasion. He had two little sisters with major issues that he needed to help them through. Thank goodness he was a pinnacle of mental stability.
"I just wanna get through this," Luz muttered.
[Scene starts with echo mouse's playback of Philip's diary entry.]
Philip: After careful analysis during this Deadwardian Era, I believe the current human year is 1660. Or is it '70? The years are flashing by, but it will all be worth it. I've gathered all the portal ingredients, including Titan's Blood. All that's left is to seek out The Collector, and he will tell me what I need to complete my mission. But first, my companions and I must face-
Oh. No wonder Luz was so upset, Hunter realized. This was the episode where Belos tricked her into helping him meet the Collector. She definitely freaked out about that a lot when she was in Belos's mind. But her guilt had no doubt been assuaged by her realizing that her releasing the Collector had stopped the draining spell and killed Belos. Still, when she needed him, he'd be there. That was what a brother did.
[The playback is cut off before Philip can finish. Back in the living room, Luz lies on the couch staring at the ceiling, where the playback was just shown. The echo mouse goes to sleep.]
King: The Collector. I've never heard that name.
Eda: Me neither. What kind of jerk puts "The" in front of their name anyway? [She picks up trash and puts it into a trash bag.]
"Maybe the kind of jerk who calls herself the Owl Lady?" Hunter suggested. He was still steamed about all the insults she'd thrown his way, even if he'd deserved it.
Luz: But The Collector may know how to make a real portal door. He may know why mine is so unstable. I just... I messed up so bad last time. I need to do better.
Luz clenched her fists and went completely rigid. Her face could have been carved from stone. "¿Mi batata? Are you okay?" Amity asked.
Luz turned to face her. "I'm perfectly fine, Amity," she said in a flat, deadened tone. There were likely zombies that sounded more alive than she did right now. "Let's keep watching."
Eda: Luz, I've got leg hair older than you.
"I did not need to hear that," Camila muttered.
This Philip guy worked on his door for years. Try not to beat yourself up too much.
Luz: Yeah. [Dejectedly.] I just with I could go back in time and talk to him.
[A sudden realization hit Luz.]
Camila let out a gasp of excitement. Luz was going to go back in time! Oh, that was so incredibly cool. She could add time traveler to the long list of accomplishments Luz had acquired, such as monster slayer, witch, creator of an interdimensional portal, and published author. If only she could brag about this to her friends!
Anyway, Camila absolutely loved time travel narratives. Her favorite episode of Cosmic Frontier was "The Metropolis On the Edge of Forever," a heartrending tale of time travel and inexorable fatality – in both senses of the word – that never failed to make Camila bawl like a baby. Hopefully, this one wouldn't be quite so upsetting…though judging by Luz's body language, it wasn't going to be a picnic to say the least.
Luz: Eda! Is time magic a thing?
Eda: Not really, but...
[Eda takes off a book from the shelf titled History's Top 10 Plot Holes.]
Eda: Back in the day, [Opens the book.] I was a bit of an urban-legend junkie. Twig Foot, Lenderman, possums...
Luz: Those are real.
"They are!" Luz protested to everyone. "And I can prove it!" She pulled out her phone and showed them pictures of possums.
"Oh my gosh," Gus said. "Wait until the people at the HAS find out about this! Can we see one?"
"They might be somewhere in the woods around here," Camila said. "But you must leave them there if you find one, Gus. They are not meant to be pets."
Eda: [Snorts.] Yeah sure, kid. Anyway, there are stories about these things called Time pools. Mythical puddles that act as windows into the past, but they're never in the same spot twice. Me and Lily used to search for them. She'd say I forced her into it, but I think she had more fun than me.
Amity let out a gasp. "These time pools, do they go into the future too?" she asked.
Luz shrugged. "I don't see why not. Why, did you find one?"
Amity nodded, her cheeks flushing red. "I…might have sneaked a peak into one and seen you kissing a certain purple haired witch." Luz gasped. Oh, how cute! "It was right before Grom. I scoured the school for purple haired witches, but I didn't find anyone. Eventually, I concluded I had just dreamed it."
"Just think, we were destined to be together!" Luz said, stars in her eyes.
"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Amity said cautiously.
Luz gasped. "Is that why you dyed your hair purple? Was it a self-fulfilling prophecy?"
Amity shrugged. It hadn't been on her mind consciously, but maybe it had been a subconscious factor in why she did it.
Luz: Lilith! Of course! Thanks, Eda!
[Luz snatches the book off Eda's hands and runs off to find Lilith. In the kitchen, Lilith is busy making model balusters.]
Luz: Lilith!
[Luz suddenly emerges from behind Lilith and calls out her name, startling her.]
"Oh, Luz, you've got to stop doing that," Camila said, shaking her head in dismay. "Especially when I'm in the kitchen."
Luz: I see you're dealing with all this.
Lilith: I'm plotting out my first exhibit for the museum. It's almost as if the Emperor wanted Flora to tick me off.
He probably did, now that Luz thought of it. The whole thing had been a manipulation to get them back in time and help him rise to power and find the Collector. And like a moron, Luz had fallen for the whole thing hook, line, and sinker.
Well, I'll show her that she's not the only bad-girl historian in town. I'm thinking...
[Lilith takes out a board with information of Deadwardian balusters on it.]
Lilith: "The Architecture History behind Deadwardian Balusters".
"Whoa!" Hunter said, his eyes shining bright. "That is so cool! You know, I don't know why we didn't get along better when we were in the coven. We have so much in common." He made a mental note to try to reach out to Lilith when he returned to the Demon Realm.
[Luz looks at the board and smiles awkwardly. A sudden realization hits Lilith.]
Lilith: [Dejectedly.] This won't work, will it?
Hunter scoffed. "What does Luz knew? She hates history! Don't let popularity get in the way of showing the world fascinating historical minutiae."
Luz: Don't let Flora get you down! I even started calling you "Cool Aunt Lilith" in my journal.
Camila gasped. "Luz, do you know what that means?" Luz shook her head. "This is the first time you've recognized Eda as your mother! True, only indirectly, but still!"
"Oh," Luz said with a gasp. "Wow. I didn't even think of it like that. But you're right." She shook her head. "I still can't believe you're okay with that."
"Well…I'm not gonna lie to you," Camila said. "It's been an adjustment. All of this is a huge adjustment. But I can handle it for my family, Luz. Don't you worry about me."
Lilith: [Flattered.] Uh, oh, really?
Luz: You can be a bad-girl historian. And I know how.
[Luz shows Lilith the Time Pool section in Eda's book.]
Lilith: Oh, I remember these! "In the Premysteric Era, it's theorized that coagulated Titan Blood mixed with the magical algae of the Boiling Sea created temporary holes in time."
Camila whistled. "Man, is there anything this Titan's Blood can't do?"
Luz: Time magic, baby! You can make an exciting exhibit on Time Pools, and maybe I can get information on how Philip made the portal door!
Lilith: I... did cobble together a device to find these with Eda. It should be in the box Flora returned to me. But it was faulty. It needed more power than I could ever give it.
Ugh. Even without knowing Belos's true identity, Luz should have realized it was a trap at this point. This was a transparent act of manipulation on his part. If only she'd brought Eda into this. She would have seen the betrayal coming.
[Luz suddenly realizes something.]
Luz: Stay right there!
[Luz runs off and then runs back to the kitchen holding Amity's glove.]
Luz: Would Titan Blood do the trick?
[Lilith looks at her board.]
Lilith: [Determined.] Let's do it!
"No!" Luz screamed at the screen. "Let's not do it! How about that?"
[With the device now working, Luz and Lilith set off to find the Time Pools. At sunset, Luz climbs up a tree and holds up the device, sending energy to its reading instrument. At night, Lilith's palisman flies back with a piece of leaf with an unknown substance on it. Eventually, on the second day, Lilith manages to narrow down the location.]
"Eda's parents showed up to pay her a visit during all this," Luz explained. "It had been a long while since Eda had seen her dad after…" She paused. Eda probably would not be wanting her to tell anyone she had accidentally taken out her dad's eye. "…a certain incident." Camila nodded encouragingly. She would respect Eda's need for privacy. "Anyway, she got to make up with her dad and King got to bond with his grandparents!"
Lilith: Don't worry, Luz, we're getting closer. I can feel it.
[Lilith swings her knife into a tree beside her. She takes a piece of tree bark and drops it into her device's test tube to test it.]
Lilith: Ha! Exactly what I thought. These are wrinkling oaks.
Luz: [Squints.] They don't look very wrinkly.
Lilith: That's because something's keeping them locked in time. So, accounting for local plaque patterns, the quake in the '30s, and the switch from boiling units to the empirical system, the time pool should be... [Pushes aside two leaves.] here!
[Lilith finds the location to be a beach and becomes disappointed.]
Lilith: But... I triple-checked all my calculations. My equipment is first-rate! [She suddenly trips on something and almost falls down.] Stupid rock! [She kicks the sand.]
[Luz wanders around and kicks a stone, which promptly disappears into an invisible pool, grabbing her attention. She kneels down to check.]
Lilith: Maybe the Titan Blood was too dry? Is it not algae-blooming season?
[Luz pokes her head into the pool, and finds herself staring at the same spot with a completely different surrounding from Prehistoric Era.]
Camila let out a gasp. She had thought the Boiling Isles couldn't look more dangerous than they were now. Obviously, she'd been quite wrong.
[A beast walks in front of Luz, stops, and screeches.]
"Oh, gosh," Vee said. "It's like a dinosaur!"
"It was so awesome," Luz remembered. "It was always one of my ambitions to time travel into the distant past and meet dinosaurs. It was so cool I was finally able to do it, more or less."
[Luz takes her head out from the pool and coughs. She turns her head back to Lilith.]
Luz: Lilith! You did it. [Holds up an ammonite.] You found the time pools!
[Lilith gasps, turns back towards her reflection and points at it.]
Lilith: In your face!
[Lilith emerges from a time pool.]
Lilith: A Stonesleeper from the Hecktaceous Period.
Hunter shuddered at the mention of the creature whose lungs he had.
"Those guys are so cool!" Luz said, heedless to her brother's anguish. "They turn to stone when they're sleeping. Kind of like the gargoyles from Gargoyles! Oh, man, we've got to watch that show."
[Turns to Luz.] Did you know that they have a ticklish spot behind their ears?
[Luz has her back facing Lilith. She kneels down and pokes at the sand.]
Lilith: Luz, are you listening?
"I was listening," Luz protested. "Just because I don't react in any way whatsoever or care at all doesn't mean I'm not listening!"
Luz: Come on, time pools. Mama needs to commune with the dead.
Amity smiled. Luz had so many cute, precious, and adorable turns of phrases!
[Luz takes a deep breath and pokes her head into the sand. She finds herself in another unfamiliar era. She hears someone talking and looks towards the source of sound. Three people wearing Medieval-style armor are sitting around a campfire.]
Person 1: Tonight I shall revel so hard, I shan't stand any longer!
Oh, yeah, Camila had definitely had nights like that. Mostly back in her high school and early college days, but she occasionally indulged in them even after getting married to Manny. Not after Luz was born, though. She wondered what it would be like to revel with Eda. It would probably be one of the more interesting experiences she'd ever have…assuming she survived it.
Person 2: I shall revel mineself to death!
[Luz pulls her head back out to the present and looks towards the place where the trio were sitting. The skeleton of Person 2 lies there, giving two thumbs ups.]
"Wow," Gus said. "That guy wasn't kidding."
[Luz pokes her head into another Time Pool. She turns around and finds herself staring at Bonesborough from an unknown era.]
Luz: Wow. It's a little Babysborough!
[Luz notices someone walking nearby and calls out to her.]
Luz: Yo! What era is it?
Woman: 'Tis the Deadwardian Era.
Camila arched an eyebrow. This woman seemed remarkably chill about a human girl half buried in the sand asking her what era it was.
What ye be doing in the sand? Be ye a crab maiden?
Luz: Philip's time!
[Luz pulls her head back. Suddenly, she pokes back out again.]
Luz: And, yes! I am a crab maiden.
"What even is a crab maiden?" Willow asked Hunter. Hunter shrugged. So much about Deadwardian history was lost to time. He was really looking forward to seeing it for himself.
[Luz pulls her head back to the present and calls out to Lilith.]
Luz: Lilith!
Lilith: Luz! Look. [She pulls her head out of a Time Pool with some barnacles on top of it.] These are the oldest barnacles I've ever had on my head.
"Do I want to know?" Camila asked. Everyone shook their heads.
Luz: I found it! I found Philip's time!
Lilith: [Walks towards Luz.] Ooh, incredible! This will be a truly unprecedented exploration. N-Now, before we dive in, we must remember if the tide comes in we could be trapped, paradoxes will be a danger, and don't get me started on the bloody fly effect, uh... [Clears throat.] But a bad-girl historian like myself is all about taking risks. So... let's boogie down to History Town.
Hunter clapped his hands in excitement. He'd finally get to see the Savage Ages for himself! Oh, it was going to be awesome. Wild magic was going to be everywhere. People transforming into other things on a randomized basis. More palismen than people! A veritable ocean of blood to wade through! He couldn't think of anything cooler.
[Lilith dances, sings and does finger guns.]
Luz: [Mumbles in awe.] She really is "Cool Aunt Lilith".
Camila gave a fond grin. Most of Luz's family was hardly classified as cool, alas, on both sides. It was a good thing she'd severed contact from most of them. They would hardly react well to Luz's bisexuality, let alone all of the fantastical changes to her life. It was nice Luz had a cool aunt to interact with. Even if said aunt had tried to brutally murder her in the past. Still, Camila was willing to let bygones be bygones for Luz's sake. At the very least, she no longer wanted to cut Lilith's face off with a paring knife. But if she tried to kill Luz again, all bets would be off.
[Luz and Lilith comes out from the Time Pool. Lilith steals a straw hat from a pile of laundry nearby, while Luz takes off the helmet from Medieval Era Person 2's skeleton.]
"Hey, if he was dumb enough to revel himself to death, he didn't deserve the helmet in the first place!" Luz argued.
[They then arrive at the outskirts of Bonesborough and prepares to go in.]
Lilith: Now, Luz. We are technically in the Savage Ages, way before Belos banished wild magic. These denizens may be dangerous!
Hunter was on the edge of his seat. He was so excited to see dangerous wild magic for his own eyes!
[The duo heads into town and bumps into a demon. Expecting an attack, Luz gets into a defensive posture.]
Demon: [Tips hat.] Good tidings, kind witches.
[Lilith and Luz are surprised by that. Inside Bonesborough, the surrounding appears to be much more peaceful and harmonious than they imagined.
"WHAT?!" Hunter shouted. "This is such a letdown! Ugh. Yet another thing Belos lied about. Why didn't I see that coming?"
Residents can be seen playing musical instruments, helping each other out, and summoning Abominations at will. The duo looks at everything with amazement.]
Luz: This doesn't look dangerous. This looks awesome! Why did Belos want to banish wild magic again?
Lilith: Well, the Titan supposedly doesn't like it. [Notices something.] Oh, my gosh! Look at this thatch work. Each segment looped by hand! [Chortles (?) and writes something down.]
"Maybe I can get a job as her assistant," Hunter hoped. "You wouldn't mind if I took on an after school job, would you, mom?"
"Let's take things one step at a time, Hunter," Camila hedged. She did not want to commit to anything right now, lest changing circumstances cause her to change her mind and disappoint him. He'd had far too many promises broken in his life.
[Luz walks away. Lilith suddenly stops writing.]
Lilith: But I bet Flora would scoff at it. [Becomes upset and closes the notebook.]
Amity sighed. Even now, Lilith was so desperate for the approval of others. Ironically, it reminded Amity of how she acted around Lilith herself back in the days when she was her prized student. Amity had learned that while it was wonderful to have the approval of the ones she loved, the more important prize was having the approval of herself.
[Luz approaches a demon sitting on a bench feeding birds. She shows him a drawing of Philip Wittebane's silhouette.]
Luz: Excuse me. Have you seen a human around? Round ears, super smart. Honestly, he's probably a celebrity around here.
Demon: [Shrugs.] Uh-uh.
[Scene cuts to Luz in front of a stand showing the vendor Philip's drawing.]
Man: [Shrugs.] Uh-uh.
[Luz shows the drawing to a passer-by.]
Woman: [Shakes head.] Mm-mmm.
[Luz shows the drawing to another passer-by.]
3-headed demon: Mmm... Nope.
[Luz's face turns glum. Suddenly, both her and Lilith hear someone shouting nearby.]
Unknown: Dance, human. Dance!
[They peek out from behind a wall and see 2 demons gangling up on Philip Wittebane.]
Amity could not help a low hiss from escaping from her mouth. She knew Philip's true identity, naturally. Hunter had explained everything after the battle of Hexside, about how Belos was really Philip Wittebane, how he was a witch hunter bent on committing genocide, and how he'd manipulated everyone for hundreds of years to make his sick vision reality. They were keeping it on the downlow, though, because she knew Luz didn't want Camila and Vee to get any spoilers.
Camila, meanwhile, was amazed. She was really seeing Philip Wittebane himself in the flesh! Well, a memory of him in the flesh, anyway. She passed by the statue of the Wittebanes nearly every day, and here one of them was in front of her.
Philip: Give that back!
[The demons throw Philip's diary at each other back and forth.]
Philip: [Shakes head, exasperated.] I can't believe this. After the bonds of fellowship we forged-
Red Fang: Bonds? Ha! You still owe us.
[Red Fang gives Philip a hard push, causing him to fall to the ground.]
Philip: When I accomplish my mission, I promise you, you'll have your snails.
Luz scoffed. More like he was planning on killing them too.
Green Fang: Listen to this. "With my new and bravest companion, Blue Fang, I set forth. His strength should make fast work of any task." [Passes the book to Red Fang.]
Red Fang: His pretty little words should make pretty good kindling.
[Red Fang ignites a fire with a spell circle and attempts to burn the book. Philip gasps. An ice spike suddenly pops up and knocks the diary off Red Fang's hand, surprising the demons. Luz steps forward, grabbing their attention.]
Luz cringed. She'd been so naïve. She'd assumed that the human was the one in the right, just because he was the same species as she. And Belos had taken advantage of her goodwill.
Luz: [Points.] That doesn't belong to you.
[Luz stands still, confronting the two demons who were gangling up on Philip. Red Fang attempts to attack Luz, but is stopped by Green Fang.]
Green Fang: Don't waste your time on the kid. We should keep looking.
Red Fang: [To Luz.] Ask your friend there what happened to our brother, Blue Fang, and his Palisman.
Luz sighed. The signs had been right in front of her. She hadn't seen it. She'd been so blind.
[Green Fang kicks on Philip's scattered diary and walks away with Red Fang. Philip starts picking up the pages, but suddenly yelps in pain and holds on to his right leg. He then continues to pick up the pages, and Luz helps him pick up some of it. She looks at one of the pages, which shows a drawing of Eclipse Lake.]
Luz: So he's already gotten to the Titan Blood. [Sees drawing of an unknown person.] Who's that?
"That's Caleb, right?" Camila said. Hunter reluctantly nodded. "You know, he looks a lot like you, Hunter."
"Does – does he?" Hunter said with a nervous laugh.
"You must be his descendant," Camila concluded.
Hunter sighed. "Something like that, yeah."
Philip: Hmph! [Snatches away the pages from Luz's hands.] That's private.
Luz: You're Philip Wittebane, aren't you? The human?
Philip: Here to gawk? I may not have a bile sac, but I do have dignity. [Turns away.]
Luz: Wait! I've heard of your exploits, and I know what it's like to be far from home. Can we talk?
Philip: [Stares at Luz, then squints.] No.
[Philip starts to walk away, limping.]
Luz: Wait! I can give you snails! I can make you crutches! Um, uh... I can help you find the Collector!
Amity let out a gasp. Oh, Titan, no wonder Luz was so screwed up now if she'd been the one to help Belos find the Collector. "Luz…"
"Yes?" Luz said, looking at her in the eyes, absolutely no emotion on her face in any way whatsoever, just daring her to speak.
Amity couldn't bear to say anything. It wasn't the right time. And anyway, she didn't have the whole story yet. "Uh, nothing."
[Philip stops and glances at Luz sideways. Scene cuts to Philip, Luz and Lilith walking through a forest.]
Philip: So, Luzura. You and your Aunt Dirtrude started travelling together after the Toe-gres attacked your castle and covered it with an impenetrable mist?
"Why didn't you just tell him the truth?" Camila wondered. "I mean, he's in another realm. Time travel isn't that implausible next to that."
"I wanted to avoid any possible time paradoxes," Luz explained.
Luz: Yes. And that's why we, too, seek The Collector. We need him to tell us how to clear the mists, so we can return home. Snap, snap, snap.
[Philip brings Luz and Lilith into a cave.]
Philip: Now... anyone bring a torch?
[Luz shows Philip a light glyph and activates it, turning it into a light ball.]
Philip: Astounding! I thought I was the only one who used picto-glyphs.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," Luz muttered to herself. She'd screwed up so badly. How many people had paid the price over the centuries? Hundreds? Thousands? Tens of thousands? How could Luz ever wash out so much blood from her hands? It was impossible. She'd end up like Lady Macbeth.
Luz: You use glyphs too? [Passes Philip a light glyph.]
Philip: How else could I have survived here? Plant growth, ice, fire... Took years to find them. [Sketches the light glyph pattern into his diary.] Almost as if the world wanted to hide them from me. I even found one in a snowflake.
"You don't deserve them," Luz snarled.
Luz: My dude, me too!
Philip: A warrior and a scholar. Truly impressive.
[Philip walks away.]
Luz: [Excitedly.] Ah! I can't believe I taught Philip something new! [Squeals in excitement.]
"SHUT UP!" Luz shouted at her younger self. Camila jumped at the intensity of the interjection.
[Luz walks away to follow Philip. Lilith has a dubious look on her face.]
[Philip leads the duo deeper into the cave, activating Light glyphs along the way.]
Philip: Line there, curve there... fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.
[Philip senses that Lilith is staring at him suspiciously. He looks back at Lilith and speaks.]
Philip: Your niece is very talented. I'm sure she takes after her aunt.
"And her mom!" Luz said. Camila smiled at her.
Lilith: [Flattered.] Oh. [Chuckles.] Maybe I... had a little something to do with it.
Philip: Now, I know a few tricks as well.
[Philip puts up a light ball and starts to draw a large glyph combo on the ground.]
Luz: What is this?
Philip: A shortcut... [Taps on the glyph combo.] to The Collector.
[The glyph combo starts to flash brightly. The screen turns white. The bright light fades away. Luz and Lilith open their eyes and find themselves inside an ice cave. There is a tall double door at the end.]
Luz: [Gasps.] Whoa. Where are we?
[Philip doesn't reply and walks towards the door. Luz looks outside through a wide gap and gasps.]
Luz: We're in the head of the Titan?!
Lilith: W-We're what? But this is sacred ground!
Luz scoffed. Absolutely nothing was sacred to Belos, not even the head of the Titan itself. After all, it had been the staging ground for his attempted genocide.
Philip: I suppose that's why no one wanted to accompany me. [Limps towards the door.] But every legend told me that The Collector lies there. Behind that door. I just can't figure out the mechanisms to open it. If I weren't so frail...
[Philip winces in pain and kneels down, clutching his right leg.]
"It's a good thing you don't have weak nerd arms anymore, Luz!" Vee said cheerfully. Luz gave a weak grin at her, guilt spasming all over her like a physical force.
Luz: It's okay, we can help! Puzzles are in my blood, literally.
"Well, that explains a lot," Hunter snarked.
My mom had to stop me from eating puzzles when I was a kid.
"A kid?!" Camila said. "Luz, you nearly ate a puzzle piece a week before camp started!"
You stay here and rest up.
Philip: Thank you for your kindness, crab maiden. [Puts a hand on Luz's shoulder.] Perhaps we were destined to meet.
Amity shuddered at how friendly Belos was acting towards her girlfriend, every move a calculated manipulation. It must have truly devastated Luz when she learned the truth.
[Luz smiles at Philip. She then runs to Lilith, who is in front of the door trying to open it.]
Lilith: This mechanism is unlike any I've seen before. It'll make a remarkable addition to my exhibit. It's just...
[Lilith hesitates and appears to be contemplating something.]
Luz: Come on, we can't stop now! We're getting everything we could have hoped for!
Lilith: That's just it. Look. Most of this puzzle has been solved already. [Glances towards Philip.] And Philip...
[Luz glances towards Philip too. He is sitting on the ground writing something.]
Lilith: The confidence, the compliments. He says everything you want to hear. It feels... uncomfortably familiar.
Luz sighed. While of course she didn't blame Lilith for getting suckered by Belos – it wasn't her fault, naturally – she wished Lilith had been on the ball enough to recognize the man she'd served for decades.
Luz: Some of this is pretty weird. But it's the Boiling Isles! Everything's a little weird, right?
"She's got you there," Gus conceded.
Hey, why don't you keep working on this, and I'll go talk to Philip?
[Luz walks towards Philip as Lilith continues trying to solve the puzzle. There is a blue fang and a palisman inside Philip's bag. Luz approaches Philip from behind and reads what he is writing in his diary.]
Luz: "I single-handedly defeated the beast behind the door. Tragically, I could not save my companions."
Camila let out a gasp. Did this mean what she thought it meant?
[Philip notices Luz behind him and stands up.]
Luz: [Hesitantly.] Philip, why did you bring us here?
[The ground shakes, accompanied by a loud sound. Luz looks back towards the door.]
Lilith: [Waves.] Ah! I did it! I solved the puzzle!
[Behind her, the doors open inwards.]
Philip: I needed a sacrifice.
"WHAT?!" Camila shouted, and then let loose a vicious swing of swears in Latvian, Dutch, Hungarian, and Thai. She knew how to swear in 46 different languages, though she was only fluent in Spanish, English, and Mongolian. "How dare he?! If he hadn't been dead for hundreds of years… Well, I'm gonna talk to Melnikov and see if he'll sell me plastic explosives. That statue has to go!"
"No!" Vee said. "If you destroy it, Masha could get in trouble!"
"Oh. Right. Didn't think about that. You think they could convince the board to get rid of the statue?"
Vee grimaced. "Probably not. But I'll ask them to look into his activities in the Human Realm. Maybe he did something bad enough they could use it as an excuse to take down the statue. I wouldn't get your hopes up, though."
Lilith: What'd he say?
[A claw suddenly emerges from inside and grabs Lilith. She screams while being dragged into darkness.]
Luz: Lilith!
Philip: Well, with the beast distracted, I can finally get through those doors.
Luz: [Angrily.] You tricked us!
Philip: It was-
Luz: Destiny? Balderdash.
Philip: [Laughs.] I was going to say, "inevitable". You two were easier to trick than Blue Fang. Hopefully you and Aunt Dirtrude can last longer.
[From inside the room comes Lilith's terrified screams. Luz rushes inside and finds a beast grasping Lilith in its claws. It notices Luz and screeches at her.]
Camila was just left completely stunned. Philip was a legendary figure in Gravesfield history. There were all sorts of urban legends about him, and Luz had spoken of him in the earlier episodes with respect and reverence. Except it turned out he was nothing more than a charlatan and a mountebank! Why, he had probably stolen his research on the portal door from someone else entirely!
Luz: Lilith!
[The beast rushes towards Luz. She immediately activates an ice glyph and creates an ice trail. The beast slips on the ice and falls down, loosening its grip. Lilith jumps off. Luz grabs her hand and they run away together. Meanwhile, Philip walks up to a platform and starts digging. The beast stands up and chases after Lilith and Luz.]
Lilith: [Angrily at Philip.] Hey! That better be your own grave you're digging!
"Alas, it doesn't run in the family," Hunter muttered quiet enough for no one to hear him.
[Luz activates fire glyphs to create flames, temporarily blinding the beast. Meanwhile, Philip's shovel hit something. He grins and picks up the object.]
Philip: Found you.
[He looks at his reflection in the object, which is a mirror with a crescent moon drawing on it.]
"That's…the mirror that –" Willow began.
Luz sighed. "Yes. Yes, it is." She took a deep breath. She'd delayed this moment for so long, hoping to just hold onto as many moments of having a loving family as she could. But it was time to face the music. She really hoped they wouldn't try to kill her when she told them the truth. Even with Hunter backing her up, what chance did she have against a basilisk in all her righteous fury?
"There's stuff I've been hiding from you," Luz said. "Philip…was Belos." Camila and Vee let out a gasp, but the rest of them just waited patiently for her to get to the point. Luz's mouth dropped open. "Wait, you knew that?!"
"Well, yeah," Hunter said. "I told everyone after the fight at Hexside."
"But…but you hid my secret and…" She closed her mouth firmly before she could reveal Hunter's big secret.
Hunter shrugged. "That was your business. But Belos's true identity was everyone's business. There was no reason to keep it from them."
Luz couldn't understand what was going on now. They knew that Philip was Belos? They knew she'd helped him find the Collector? Maybe they just hadn't connected the dots yet. Well, as much as Luz wanted to keep them in ignorance for longer, she knew that telling them now was the right thing to do. "I…that mirror was where the Collector was kept," Luz said, pain echoing through her voice. "I HELPED HIM FIND THE COLLECTOR!"
They all stared at her. Each one of them was wondering if they'd missed something. "But…he tricked you, Luz," Gus reminded her. "You didn't know he was Belos. Or that he was a bad guy at all. You just thought you were doing a solid to another human."
"Yeah, like you have a monopoly on getting tricked by Belos," Hunter scoffed. "Get over yourself. He suckered all of us. At least you didn't flay people alive." They all stared at him in horror. "As a hypothetical example," he quickly added.
"But…but I also helped him learn the light glyph!" Luz shouted.
"Ooh, the light glyph," Amity saved, waving her hands around melodramatically. "So deadly! How many people did he kill with that? Oh, right, none. Sheesh, Luz, it's not like you taught him to petrify people."
"Plus, Belos may have been super evil, but he was also really smart," Gus reminded her. "He would have found it eventually on his own."
Luz shook her head. "You don't understand. It's all my fault! I…you wouldn't understand."
"No, it was Belos's fault!" Vee assured her.
"You're both wrong, mijas," Camila said. "It's not your fault. It's Lilith's."
Luz's mouth dropped open. How could Camila say that? She really thought Camila had let go of her grudge on Lilith. "No! It was obviously my fault! I should have seen through him!"
Camila arched an eyebrow, Quando style. "¿De veras? In what way is it not Lilith's fault? She was a full grown adult who took you on a highly dangerous trip to a time known as the Savage Ages without getting the approval of your guardian. She failed to recognize the man she'd served for decades when he was standing right in front of her. The failure is not yours, it is hers!"
"But that's ridiculous!" Luz shouted. "Belos chose to try to sacrifice us! He chose to lie to us, to kill all those people!
Camila gave a shark like grin. "Exactly."
And finally, the penny dropped for Luz. She'd been so dumb, blaming herself for what had obviously been Belos's choices. Belos had chosen a path of evil and hatred when he could have lived in harmony with the people around him and lived out a happy life with his brother by his side. Luz didn't make him into the person he became. Luz hadn't done anything but try to help someone. Belos had chosen to spurn that help and try to kill her.
"Oh," she whispered. "So…so you really don't hate me?" Everyone stared at her. "None of you hate me?"
"Why in the Titan's name would we hate you, Luz?" Hunter said. "You're making even less sense than usual. You didn't do anything wrong."
Luz tried to keep her expression composed, but she broke down into tears a few seconds later. She'd expected everyone would hate her so much that the idea they wouldn't hadn't even entered her head. "I feel so stupid now," she admitted. She'd actually thought her own family would abandon her. That they'd maybe even try to kill her!
"It's gonna be okay," Amity promised. "Luz, it's all gonna be okay."
"You really…really don't mind?" Luz said. "I mean, the Collector…"
"Stopped the draining spell," Willow reminded her. "Saved my dads' lives. Killed Belos. I'm not saying he doesn't need to be stopped, obviously, but if you're gonna claim responsibility for the bad stuff, you should claim it for the good stuff too."
Luz wiped the tears from her eyes. "You're all just so amazing. I don't know what I ever did to get a family like you."
"Funny," Camila said. "I think the rest of us think the same thing about you."
"I guess I have some phone calls to make," Luz muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!" Luz said with a nervous laugh. She was going to be in so much trouble for using Camila's credit card, wasn't she?
[Meanwhile, Luz and Lilith try to hide from the beast behind a pillar.]
Luz: I know you want to get home, but nothing is worth hurting people!
[The beast swings its tail at the duo and breaks the pillar, barely missing them. It continues chasing after the duo.]
Philip: Oh, I disagree. It was nice making a cat's-paw out of you. [Draws the glyph combo on ground.] Good luck with your... crab castle... or... whatever. You witches come up with the worst lies.
Luz did have to concede that in terms of lies, it really wasn't her best effort. In her defense, she'd been so starstruck by Philip she'd barely been able to come up with a lie that coherent.
[Philip taps on the glyph combo. It flashes and teleports him away. The beast is distracted by the flash and rushes towards it. Luz grabs Lilith by the hand and runs towards a pillar, hiding behind it.]
Lilith: Is this how it all ends for Lilith Clawthorne? Her body lost to time?
Luz: You were right about that jerkweed. I'm so sorry, Lilith.
Lilith: Oh, your humility before death truly heartens me.
Luz: Yeah, I should have listened to you. [She suddenly realizes something, and gasps.] Wait... I did listen to you!
"Well, this is a welcome change of pace," Camila joked.
Lilith: Uh...
[Luz runs off.]
Lilith: LUZ!
[Luz runs towards the beast. The beast notices Luz and turns its head towards her. Luz continues to run towards it.]
Lilith: [Nervously.] Eda's gonna kill me, Eda's gonna kill me, Eda's gonna kill me!
[Lilith covers her eyes. Suddenly, she hears a thud. She takes a peek and sees Luz scratching the beast behind its ear.]
Luz: It's one of those Stonesleepers from the Hecktaceous period! It must have been hibernating in here for ages. [Continues scratching.] Aw. Do you like that, boy? Aw, you're a good boy.
Camila couldn't help but grin. Luz always had a gift for animals. And now she was taming some sort of prehistoric hell beast. If only Luz's younger self could see her now!
Lilith: [Sheds a tear, gladly.] You were listening.
[Scene cuts to Philip walking on a trail inside a forest. He is writing something down on his diary.]
Philip: "And so I doggedly limped home, but I had my prize." [Puts his diary into his bag and takes out the mirror.] How to describe you? Oval? Oblong? A round boy?
[Philip hears some loud thuds behind him. He turns around and sees the Stonesleeper from inside the cave. It screeches at him, causing him to gasp in shock. Luz and Lilith jump down from the Stonesleeper's back.]
"YEAH!" Camila shouted. "You show that guy what for!"
Luz: Tell me how that thing's gonna help you build a portal to the Human Realm.
[Philip looks down at his mirror.]
Philip: Oh, no. [Puts the mirror into his bag.] I need this for something else.
Luz: No? [Furiously.] What do you mean "no"?!
Philip: I mean, if it's information you want, perhaps we can make an exchange. I'll probably require another sacrifice sooner or later. [Walks towards the duo.] If you or your aunt want to-
"My God, the arrogance of that man!" Camila said, shaking her head in dismay.
[Lilith walks towards Philip and punches him square in the face, breaking his nose.]
Everyone let out a loud cheer. "Your aunt is so awesome, Luz!" Vee shouted.
"Our aunt, Vee," Luz reminded her.
"I want to see that again!" Hunter said. Gus rewound the memory to show them it again. They ended up watching the punch at least a dozen more times before continuing.
Philip: Ugh! Ah! [Angrily.] You hateable sorceress!
Lilith: [Angrily.] Stay mad.
"The one time he listened to her," Luz muttered.
[To Luz.] Come, Luzura. We're finished here.
[Luz sneers while making hand gestures at Philip.]
Luz: Cool aunt.
[Luz climbs up to the Stonesleeper's back with Lilith. They ride off together, and the Stonesleeper accidentally kicks Philip in the head while walking off.]
Everyone let out another cheer. "That Stonesleeper is almost as much of a hero as Dr. Everton Q. Pinkerton VII!" Gus pronounced.
[Lilith notices that Luz is upset.]
Lilith: You know, Luz, if some jerk like Philip can build a portal, then I'm sure you can too.
Luz: [Gladly.] Thanks. Hey, we have a little time before the tide comes in. You want to do something exciting?
[Lilith looks at Luz with a puzzled expression. Scene cuts to the duo inside Bonesborough. Lilith is watching a craftsman making balusters.]
Lilith: [Excitedly.] Balusters, Luz! Deadwardian balusters!
"So cool," Hunter breathed.
[Lilith jots down the process inside her notebook. Behind her, Luz watches on gladly. Luz and Lilith arrive back at the Owl House while riding on Lilith's Raven Staff.]
Lilith: We got lucky today, Luz. Next time those Time Pools show up, they could be on the other side of the world.
Eda: [Turns and walks towards the duo.] Hey nerds! How was your nerd quest? You find that dead nerd?
Luz: Layin' it on a little thick there, Eda. But, yeah, we found Philip.
Eda: Whoa, seriously?
"I love it when Eda has faith in us," Luz said dryly.
Luz: [Grumpily.] Yeah. He stunk.
Lilith: I punched him in the face.
Luz: Groovy, Auntie.
[Luz and Lilith grin while making finger guns at each other, much to Eda's annoyance.]
Eda: Uh, you gu- you guys need to stop that.
"Oh, I'm so happy right now!" Luz said, bouncing up and down in her seat. "You don't hate me! You don't want to kill me! You all still love me! Oh, this is better than I ever thought."
"Um…quite," Camila said, sounding freaked out.
"Mom, I gotta confess, I sort of used your credit card to book a bus trip to Portland," Luz admitted. "I thought I'd have to run away to Gravity Falls."
Camila's mouth dropped open in astonishment. "I…well, I'm sure that charge can be canceled. In lieu of the circumstances, I think I'll overlook it this once. But…you seriously had so little faith in me? In the people you love? In Amity?"
Luz sighed. "I guess you're right, mom. I…I'll try to do better in the future."
"Just remember what we told you, Luz," Camila said. "We all love you. We could never hate you. Certainly not for doing something any of us would have done in your shoes." She gave a bright smile. "So who wants to throw eggs at Philip's statue?"
"I do!" everyone else shouted.
