"You do not need to do this, Levi."
Ah, Hanji. Why has reality not turned you into someone who has no compassion anymore?
Waking up in a world that had thoroughly changed in only a few weeks, where once enemies had become allies, and those he had trusted unquestionably were now suspect, was a lot to digest. Adding to the turmoil, Levi grappled with a level of physical weakness he had never known before. His limbs quivered with the slightest exertion, his missing eye sent pulsating waves of pain through his head, and his hand was no longer of any use.
The passage of time had been cruel during his unconsciousness, with the world shifting beyond recognition. His days as a soldier had come to an abrupt and final end. It was… stunning. Kind of like one of his worst nightmares, actually. Only that he was wide awake.
"Won't you talk to me?" Hanji begged him.
What could he say? She was talking, talking, talking, wanting what from him? His blessing? His forgiveness? He had neither to give right now. Sure, he didn't necessarily have to go along with the craziest plan in the existence of humanity. But he also kind of had to. There were situations where it didn't matter how you framed them – you were not left with a choice, only with an obligation.
This was one of these situations. If it was this crystal clear to him, it had to be just as crystal clear to her. Only that she didn't want to realize it yet.
He turned his head towards her, relieved her reddened eyes were no longer visible in the gloom that enveloped everything now that night was falling outside. Hanji crying helplessly at his bedside was part of the nightmare he had found himself in so suddenly. She could not be weak, not while he was unable to be by her side to protect her and their cause. She knew that, goddammit.
"Can't," he managed to say. There was a growing lump in his throat and it wasn't the aftereffect of being bedridden for weeks. The world had turned too many times, he was alive, which was a "miracle" according to the doctor - but they still needed to part. Not that it was in any way surprising. They had lived on borrowed time forever, at least since Shiganshina. That she had to know too. Why cling to false hope so stubbornly?
Hanji's urgency made her voice quiver, a tone he rarely heard from her. "I know what you must be thinking. But I had to do it. Can't you understand?"
The word "it" carried a heavy weight, and he grasped the many layers involved, thanks to the Monkey's detailed, gleeful disclosures about what had happened in his absence. The rest though? Did he understand? No, he definitely did not. What they were going to do was insane.
"You let them inject Titan serum into me," he confronted her just to say something, his voice sounding strange to his own ears, grating and unsettling. It wasn't even the most disturbing thing he had heard after waking up, but the one he wanted to hold on to the most in a defiantly spiteful and childish way. The idea of Titan serum repulsed him, and surely, she knew him well enough to realize the depth of his disgust. Worse, his entire blood was now tainted with the Monkey's filth. He felt like putting a knife to his veins to cleanse himself of the man's essence until nothing of it remained.
"I'd do it again to save you," she moved closer, dragging the chair she sat on across the floor. "Your life is more important than your sensitivities."
A bitter laugh escaped his throat. If there was anything else that repulsed him more than Titan serum, it was the idea that he wasn't in control of his own decisions. That, she knew too. The Ackermans, a breed of slaves, hadn't they always known?
"Don't show me your cynical side," her voice turned harder. "I mean it. Your life is everything to me. I'm nothing without you. This world is nothing without you. I always knew that I would be the first to die and…"
"Bullshit," he interrupted her, suppressing a shiver. He had seen her die in what he now tried to accept as actual memories and that was enough messed up horror to last several lifetimes. "You might be the Commander but you are no God. You do not decide my fate."
"Are we turning religious towards the end?" She scoffed in a sad attempt at humor where there was none.
Maybe this was about that thing they called religion, Levi didn't know, he had never had any. What he did know though was that he could not refuse to do what his blood compelled him to do. Deep down, he was sure Hanji knew that too. That's why she had done what she had done, used Titan serum on him, used his blood for lunatic experiments. Mixed it with the goddamn Monkey's! Funny, he wasn't even mad or anything. Just… kind of sad that circumstances had forced her to use him in ways she clearly abhorred. Not that it mattered for much longer though.
"As I told you, Mikasa will be enough," Hanji had moved closer still, now he could see her pale, drawn face. The weeks in which he had slept had clearly taken a huge toll on her. It pained him. "You are severely injured. You won't be well enough when the time comes."
"Stop making it worse," he pressed out. "Dammit, Hanji. Think like a Commander, be one for fuck's sake! Think and act like Erwin. He led our comrades and himself straight into death, just so Eldia would have the sliver of a chance down the line. It is thanks to him we are here, discussing insane plans. My disappearance means nothing in the great scheme of things. Of course I cannot let Mikasa go alone."
Mikasa was not to be trusted around Eren and Eren was not to be trusted, full stop. Not long ago they had been children and as the superior officer, he was still responsible for them. Besides, not only were the Ackermans a cursed bloodline, they also were a liability to the world. If this crazy, fucking plan was to work… no Ackerman could remain among the living.
"Listen," Levi's voice cracked and Hanji hastily put a glass of water into his hand, her fingers grazing his skin. "Listen," he repeated after drinking deeply. "I have a lot of money put away."
"What?" She took a trembling breath, slamming the glass back on the bedside table so forcefully he winced. "The fuck are you saying, Levi!"
"A lot of money. From my fights, get it? I earned it for you and the cadets. You know, I thought it's better to use the time here wisely. And…"
"Are you crazy? Or… wait, do you have a fever again? Are you delirious?"
Unnerved, Levi shook his head. This, too, she would understand if she let her outstanding intellect guide her and not the weird emotional panic she was in.
"Write it down."
"I do not know what you are saying, Levi. I will not let you sacrifice yourself, I did everything so that you…"
"I want you to write it down, Hanji. If this shitplan of yours works, you will have little to no memory of anything that happened up to this point. Do you think I want some fucking Marleyan bank to sit on my money instead of you guys using it like I wanted you to?"
"I will not say the word," Hanji gritted her teeth. "I will not condemn you. You will not leave me. Yes, I used your blood but only so that you could live, you idiot!"
Ah, Hanji…
She remained unaware, and Levi had no intention of revealing what Eren had confided in him – that the word held power over the Ackermans, regardless of the speaker. It acted as a summoning, drawing them onto the Paths during their slumber, plain and simple. There was no mysterious Ackerbond involved; just a word that compelled the Ackermans to traverse the other dimension in their dreams for whatever unsavory fucking reason.
And that exact moment was when Levi understood that he would betray her. He would leave her in the dark until it was too late for her to hold him back.
"Levi?"
The shock registered on his face, it seemed.
"You're a stubborn cow," he grated, his mind reeling. My body remains here when the word is used, I only travel there by spirit. Something else is needed to make me go there in the flesh… Eren, you fucking scumbag, you really figured everything out? It was fucking creepy.
The knock at the door was both polite and resolute, causing both of them to startle. When there was no response, Doctor Grütter cautiously poked his head into the room, his composed expression bathed in the soft glow of a lamp he held in his hand.
"Not now," Hanji scowled unhappily.
"I am very sorry to disturb you, but I need to have a look at his wounds."
"Get some fucking rest, Hanji," Levi said, waving a dismissive hand at her when all he wanted was to hold her close, not to waste a single second of the time that remained. "You look terrible. And you stink, take a bath."
"But I…"
"I prefer to treat my patients in private," Grütter fixated her with his mild but stern expression that did not leave much room for defiance.
"Okay," she sighed, throwing Levi a heartbreaking look when she stood up. "I will come back later."
Grütter waited until she had left, then closed the door with a soft click. "How are you feeling?"
Levi shrugged. Everything hurt like hell, but that was the least of his worries.
"Let me see," the Doctor came over to the bed after putting the lamp on the bedside table and dumping a black bag on the floor.
"They have electricity," Levi pointed at the lightbulb in the middle of the room with an arm that shook. From pointing at a fucking lightbulb! He did have to get well fast if he was going to do his part in this plan.
"Ah," Grütter looked up sheepishly. "Right."
He went to flip the light switch by the door, flinching when the light promptly flickered to life.
"Pathetic," Levi chuckled. Not that he had been any better when he had first arrived here.
"Miraculous," Grütter breathed in awe, then came over to the bed again. He examined Levi's eye and renewed the bandages on his hand. Levi looked with deliberate stubbornness at his maimed extremity. Urgh, seeing the stumps where his fingers should be made him feel queasy as hell.
"Alright?" The Doctor asked after he was done. "Do you need something to sleep?"
"I think I have slept enough," Levi pressed out. The doctor didn't leave but regarded him solemnly. Yes, there was a conversation to be had, why not have it now. "So I hear Eren went to Paradis when we were all looking for him here to fetch you?"
"Yes, he and Mikasa came to Trost. Don't make me explain why I actually went with him. This is insane! And this place…"
"One gets used to it," Levi knew it was a lie when he said it. One didn't. That hollow feeling in his chest when he thought of the forests and meadows of Paradis… it was called homesickness. Seeing it one more time… but no. He wouldn't.
Levi heaved a deep sigh. "You brought the serum with you, didn't you? Is that why Eren fetched you of all possible Eldian doctors?"
Grütter regarded him for a moment, his face unreadable. "I did. He knew where it was: In my grandfather's house, in a beautifully painted wooden box, hidden behind the panels near the back door. He was the last Keeper. He failed to pass on the duty to someone before he died, the stubborn old goat."
"You assume I know what a Keeper is," Levi frowned.
"You assume I know what a Keeper is," Grütter retorted. "My mother knew nothing about our family's role in the service of the Ackermans. That's that, nobody knows."
"Huh," Levi scoffed. "How lucky we are that Eren knows things about us we don't know."
They regarded each other warily. The soft light behind him painted a strange halo around the doctor's black hair.
"I do not know what that serum will do," Grütter finally admitted. "I'm a doctor. I told Eren that I will not administer a rusty syringe to anyone before testing its contents."
"I think I do know what it will do," Levi mused. "I knew a man who…" tortured me because he thought I had knowledge that is long lost, "kept talking about a serum stored away somewhere. It is needed to release the full power of the Ackermans."
"Huh," Grütter said and sat down heavily on the chair that Hanji had vacated not too long ago. "Full power? What is that supposed to mean?"
"I will need to get onto the Paths in body, doctor. Not only in spirit."
Grütter frowned at his hands, then at Levi. "And we are to believe this will work? It sounds improbable."
Levi shrugged once more, letting his head fall back onto his pillow. It smelled of sickness and disinfectant. "Wouldn't be the strangest thing about all this shit, don't you think?"
But the doctor was still pondering the same point. "Am I to believe you will just… vanish from this place?"
Levi shrugged again. Did the details matter? Not to him. "I guess we'll find out. Is there enough for two?"
"Perhaps," Grütter mused. "We will know when we try it."
"So… why did you follow Eren, doc?"
A heavy silence settled between them. Levi didn't mind; in fact, he welcomed it. He was weary, and even though he had dozed away a pivotal moment in their lives, a sense of exhaustion weighed on him, both physically and mentally. It was a heaviness that pressed down on him, pinning him to the bed. It was the weight of inevitability, a feeling of having run out of choices, akin to a defeat on the battlefield.
"Maybe because I wanted to see… this," the Doctor finally whispered, and Levi caught his gesture that indicated the room and everything around them. "Yes, I wanted to see the other world everybody was talking about. Actually, I wanted to see it to prove it wasn't true what they said: That Eldians had been lied to by their king, that the world is vast and full of people who are way ahead of us. Way ahead."
"Yeah," Levi sighed. "And they all want us dead. Welcome to the other side of the ocean, Grütter."
"I didn't want to admit it at first, but what our enemies created is truly magnificent," the Doctor continued. "The books in this house, the equipment! I still cannot comprehend all of this genius."
"The previous doctor would be honored to know his stuff is in good hands," Levi felt a weird stab to his heart at his own words. He had not spent a lot of time thinking about von Bergmann's sacrifice because he knew he would never understand why the other man had thrown himself into the path of a bullet aimed at Levi. Now he was dead and Levi was alive. For some more days or weeks at least.
"Commander Hange is amazing," Grütter said dreamily. "She is a genius among geniuses. I was honored to assist her with her grand discovery. Maybe that's why I came. Of course, I couldn't know what would happen, but it seems Eren did. He said to me: 'You must come, Doctor Grütter. You will do great things.' I am vain enough to listen to something like this."
Ah, yeah. Hanji was an amazing genius, a crazy, amazing genius who would save them all with fucking science of all things. Urgh. It had needed his almost-death for her to unlock her true potential, a fact that did not escape Levi. Science is life, she had told him. In this very bed. How long do you think you need in that Titan research facility until you are satisfied? - Another lifetime.
Would she continue being a scientist after he was gone? Yeah, most probably.
"We made a serum," the Monkey had told him mere hours ago. "Well, she did. I just stood there and watched."
Paired with the Monkey, Eren had the power to wipe the memory of every Eldian in the world and then to change the make-up of their blood. He meant to wipe Titan powers out of them, forever.
So far so good. Only that nobody among the world's people would believe that they were no longer a threat.
No, they needed a way to memory-wipe everybody else. So, Hanji, the genius, had developed a fucking serum based on the previous and much-advanced experiments with non-Eldians that von Bergmann had also been involved in. A serum made from Titan fluids and Ackerman blood so that the Monkey could get access to the population of the world. Enter smarty-pants Armin with the idea to lace the most popular Marleyan food exports and beverages with the substance.
And then, to ensure that everyone with access to a radio would be tuned in and listening at the right time.
Have Willy Tybur announce that he would speak. Have him be secretive as heck about what it was going to be but make sure to start rumors. Marley, people already whispered, Marley was ready to capitulate. A new age was about to begin. The age of peace.
Have Willy Tybur speak, and have Zeke scream. If it worked, if this ludicrous idea worked, Eren would be able to wipe the world population's minds in that exact moment.
"We do not need to reach everyone," Armin had explained excitedly. "Just enough people. Enough people so that the ones who still remember appear like they are crazy."
Enough people with no memories of the truth so that tales of people with monster powers on a remote island appeared like a legend. A horror story.
After all of this, Eren would leave the world, flanked by two Ackermans. They would seal the paths behind them forever. And then, they'd kill their God Ymir.
The end.
Only that a million things could go wrong along the way. What if Eren failed to cure all the Eldians of their "Titan disease"? What if he couldn't mind-wipe non-Eldians after all? What if the Paths could not be sealed… What if Ymir could not be killed? What if the Ackermans were not what they all believed they were…?
"Will you take care of Hanji for me?" Levi heard himself say, his heart hurt viciously at his own words, but Grütter was a good man, he was sensible, and he was able to understand her. "Once I'm gone."
"Huh," Grütter scoffed. "You assume she'd want me around. Commander Hange will find her own way, Captain. No need to worry."
But he did worry. He did.
"Goodnight," Grütter said and got up, switching off the light on his way out. "I'm going to try and get some sleep. Call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Sure," Levi put his head back once again and closed his eyes. Sleep? No way he'd be able to sleep.
They weren't ready yet, but time was slipping through their fingers. The Monkey was dying but without the Monkey, Eren could do shit. Still, Levi wasn't sure he would be able to forgo the chance to kill the motherfucker should he get a shot. He could forgive a lot of things, but there was a limit.
The Monkey was that limit.
Funny, he realized… of all the people currently residing in this house, Eren was the only one who had not come to see Levi lying in bed, helpless like an old man. Why was that?
###
When Eren finally appears to Levi, it's within a dream or an experience resembling one. They stand in that place enveloped by a radiant pillar of light that extends throughout the heavens, casting eerie and distorted shadows all around.
Eren is not alone.
The Monkey is by his side, in his human form, kneeling in the sand, bound by black chains that constrict his arms and torso. Levi can't help but feel disgust at the lack of a shirt, but what's even more unsettling is the sight of the Monkey sobbing, his tears absorbed by the white sand without a trace.
"Captain Levi," Eren addresses him solemnly.
Levi, observing Eren's unkempt appearance, thinks the boy is in dire need of a haircut, he looks like a fucking vagrant. However, he realizes the irony in this observation since he, too, looks worse for wear, weakened and severely injured. His damaged eye is concealed beneath white gauze, and his injured hand hangs uselessly by his side.
"I welcome you here," Eren continues, his face reflecting an odd tinge of fear, which strikes Levi as peculiar considering Eren's seemingly absolute power. "As a sign of my goodwill, I offer you the life of my brother."
Zeke writhes against the chains and emits a tormenting howl of anguish.
That's… unexpected. Dreams often possess this quality, but Levi is wary.
"He tried to betray me," Eren gazes down at his brother, his countenance a mix of disdain and sorrow. "He tried to warn Ymir of our plan and intended to make her rebuild all Eldians so they can no longer have children. I managed to prevent him."
"I did it for you, I did it for you!" Zeke screams, "why can't you see that this plan is destined to fail, it has to!"
"But it won't," Eren retorts. "For the first time in eons, the future is silent. I can't believe you'd betray me like this! Every single time! You're my brother!"
"You need me, you need me, without me, you can't proceed with the plan!"
"That's what you'd like to think," Eren says smugly. "Don't you know that they have recording equipment in Marley? I have your scream on tape, and it can be broadcast on the radio whenever I choose. Oh, and your royal blood? I've discovered I can change any Titan shifter's blood to be like yours."
"That's impossible," Zeke appears to shrink, deflated in his misery. "You're lying! Eren, you scumbag, you're insane! You'll doom us all, doom us all!"
"Here," unfazed by his brother's wailing, Eren takes out a large knife from his belt and holds it in Levi's direction.
Levi hesitates, unable to comprehend why. He gazes at Eren, the knife, the pitiable Monkey, the towering pillar of light, and his only desire is to wake up and be done with this shit.
"Didn't you swear to avenge Commander Erwin?" Eren's voice adopts a sinister tone.
"It seems like a mercy killing," Levi takes a step back. He doesn't want this. It feels thoroughly wrong. "Isn't he going to die anyway? Why have me kill him?"
"Do you want me to ensure that Commander Hange will remember you and what you meant to her? Do you want her heart to break repeatedly? Do you? Do you?" Eren's voice darkens, carrying an acute sense of threat.
"Pathetic," Levi scoffs though he feels dread at the possibility of this being more than a dream. "Eren. Do you hear yourself? Is this the man you wanted to become? Is this what you do with your powers? It is pitiful. People will shit on your grave and call you a fucking loser. Get a grip, boy!"
The rage of a Titan is like nothing in this world. Eren's transformation shakes the world, his roar shatters the skies. And yet, Levi stands his ground.
He understands that by being born into this world, everybody has the freedom to dream, explore the world and just exist in peace, regardless of one's birth circumstances.
It is possible to break this curse. It is.
###
It was a dream after all because Levi jolted awake when Hanji entered his room, closing the door with a soft click behind her.
"Are you finally learning how to sleep?" She asked softly as she sat down at his bedside, dimming the lamp she had brought with her and removing her glasses.
"I must be getting old," he replied and tried to move to the side to make space for her.
"You are wounded," she admonished him. "Stop fidgeting."
"Come join me," he said. "Don't say no, I want you near."
"Are you going to make me cry again?" Hanji whispered, extending a hand to brush some hair from his forehead.
"It is silly to cry," Levi huffed. "What's the point?"
She crawled into bed with him. As requested, she had taken a bath, her hair was still slightly damp and she smelled of the soap von Bergmann had favored.
"This bed is too narrow," she nuzzled his neck. "My bum is sticking out."
"We managed before, didn't we," he tried to move his arm so she could get more comfortable.
"You think I'm crazy, don't you," she whispered. "You know what? I think you're right. This plan is insane. Everything we're going to do… insane."
"It's worth a shot," Levi turned his head so he could breathe in her scent that was hidden underneath the soap smell.
"You will go, won't you," a shiver went through her. "Even if I try everything to hold you back, you will go."
"Yeah," he replied softly. "You know I have to."
The warmth of her body relaxed him. Some of the pain disappeared.
"Will you try to return to me? Once Ymir is dead."
Her question hung in the air above them. Return and risk everything? We Ackermans will always carry Titan blood. We cannot be changed by the Founder. We cannot be out in the world.
"Please," Hanji's voice shook. "And if you have to lie to me, promise me. Promise me you will come back."
"I will find a way to return," he lied.
"It's a promise?" She lifted her head to look at him with eyes that were swimming in tears.
"A promise", he echoed. "If you fucking stop crying already."
She spat into her hand, it was the most disgusting gesture humanity had ever invented, but he did the same. They shook hands.
It was sealed.
