Regarding the darkest of artifacts
Master!
What Nim? Harry rolled over.
I've made a slight miscalculation, could you come read my memories, help me with this negotiation, and/or give me orders regarding future steps. I find I cannot proceed farther without your blessing.
Harry sat up and looked around the darkened dorm room, Where are you?
Central London.
Oh. … … Alright, coming in.
When he entered Bella's mind, Harry found her in human form, bound to a chair with a shaggy wizard and a sagging old elf glaring at her. There was several pieces of torn rune-work and broken furniture scattered across the tabletop between them. Most prominent were a gold goblet and a silver pendant.
"Alright Bella, what's this all about?" thought Harry.
She guided him to a montage of memories: Making a withdraw from Gringotts, running tests, doing arithmancy, procuring parts and building a magic detector that could hold that gobblet and lead her to similar objects. She found this house and, already having a standing invitation, entered.
(In the dead of night wielding a highly enchanted object. Which is to say, encumbered from dodging or defending herself because she was carrying a unique, fragile, and highly enchanted artefact.)
So she'd been caught and tied up.
She could turn animagus and shrink out of her bonds, but in the following chase would almost certainly leave behind the object of her search, as well as her divining device.
Who are they?
Your godfather, who hates me, but was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt for as long as I was acting like a tame old babysitter to whichever of the nephews caught my eye. The other is his elf who hates him, but used to like me, but doesn't now that I've tried to nick his 'precious'.
Dare I ask what is his 'precious'?
The dark lord in those books made a ring, the dark lord in our world made a diary, and a cup, and a locket, and I don't know what all. I figured it behoved us to find them all and destroy them.
Fair enough, did either of them support you-know-who?
I don't think so.
Nor want him to come back?
Definitely not.
Then tell them all that.
Are you sure?
Can they be trusted to keep from crowing over the temporary victory of finding a few of those objects, to the wrong ears that might hear, and warn you-know-who of the problem before we locate and destroy them all?
Probably, but … I don't like it, the house elf doesn't answer to me anymore.
Understood, tell them anyway.
So she did.
.
Then the elf told where the necklace had come from.
.
Then there was a long and pointless argument about whether they'd turn the necklace over to Bella, with or without an oath that she'd have it destroyed as soon as she was sure she'd found them all.
The final straw was when Bella turned small, so Sirius conjured a steel cage around her, and told her to cool her heels until morning, he was going to sleep the rest of the night, thank you.
Ugh, thought Harry, Why did that go so poorly, are they both insane?
Maybe, thought Bella, Or maybe I'm just invisible.
Oh, drat, of course you are.
He went back and reviewed her memory of her long and laborious trek down into Gringotts on kneazle feet, with no help from goblins or their carts. And then her even more impossible ascent back out.
No wonder she'd taken two days after to recover, before she'd started her research into crafting the dark detector.
Alright, Bella, if he gives you another chance to talk in the morning, tell him to mirror call me, so I can turn you visible for a more polite negotiation. If it looks like he's not going to give you a chance to talk, alert me that he's awake and I'll mirror call him.
Yes, master.
I'm going to dig out my mirror, in order to be prepared, and then go back to bed.
Thank you, Master.
.
After Harry found his mirror, he considered all the places he could be called unawares, and decided to sleep the rest of the night in the office.
.
It was a good thing he did, Bella alerted him before breakfast that Sirius was back, and staring at her with intermittent loathing, glee, and contempt. She was starting to think he was contemplating on turning her over to the ministry.
He sighed, and rolled over, and grabbed the magic mirror, from his night stand, he breathed on it and called out, "Lord Black? Sirius? Sirius Black."
He's gone upstairs again.
Good.
"Pup?"
"Godfather?"
"Yeah, is Bella really here under your orders?"
"No, hunting down those things was her idea. Once she admitted last night, what she was up to, and that she apparently couldn't handle it alone, I ordered her to explain it to you. Figured you were trustworthy, forgot she was invisible in human form."
"Is that permanent?"
"Yes, and no," said Harry, "When she surrendered to me, her thrall mark shifted from the snake and skull brand that you'd expect, to half a lion's face with a lightning bolt running from ear to eye."
"It changed to what?"
"Luna calls it the 'sign of the green eyed lion,' when I put it on things that belong to me, they also disappear. Seems like a weak and mobile form of the Fidelius or notice me not or something. Now that I've told you that much, you might be able to learn to see through it. Or I can just say, 'Lord Black, My Bellatrix is under my protection,' then you should be able to see her just fine."
"Interesting," said Sirius and gave him a searching look, "are you an animagus?"
"It's slow going, but I'm on track to finish the prerequisite reading in time for the workshop next October."
"I can teach you over the summer, if you want to remain unregistered."
"I don't have a special desire one way or the other."
Sirius shrugged, "different portions of society have different … views on animagi." What remained unsaid was 'And therefore you may prefer to remain unregistered.'
"Which we unsuccessfully try to alleviate by not discussing how the sexual instincts differ between animals?"
Sirius blinked and sat forward, "You already identify as one, in your own mind?"
Harry shrugged, "I am a lion, whether I ever transform or not. Knowing my personality type clarifies, transforming merely demonstrates it to the world."
Sirius nodded, "You've been reading the Turkish school."
Harry shrugged.
"I find them long on philosophy and short on practical application."
"Hmm, that seems a valid criticism," said Harry, "I normally prefer the practical approach, but in this case, I think it's done me good. All of my transfiguration has improved, most of it just from a better idea how intent about substance is even derived and communicated to magic."
"Hmm," said Sirius.
"Or that might be the occlumency, actually."
"Oh? Who is teaching you?"
"Hermione, I, and Padma are all self tutoring, Padma has a head start from other branches of meditation, whereas I have a clearer picture of my mind space from entertaining my familiars there, and visiting them in their minds."
"Well, when you get to that point, Bella knows legilimency and can show you what an attack feels like."
"Ah."
"It's good to see you again, pup."
"I respectfully suggest, Lord Black, that you not call me 'pup' in front of Bella."
"Wait, she gets the endearment and I don't?"
"She's a thrall and you're a Lord, do the math."
"I almost feel insulted," said Sirius.
"You're also one for the pragmatic rather than the formal approach, then?"
"The fact that you even need to ask that bothers me no end."
"Fair enough," said Harry, "Maybe we can spend some time together this summer."
"That sounds good," said Sirius.
"So, can you and she work together on those nasty things? Or should I order her to bring you her notes and you can carry on the search alone?"
"That depends, why does she want them?"
"They represent a palpable threat to her master?"
"Yes, well, and beyond that?"
"What is beyond that?"
"Does she really want them destroyed, or is she hoping to bring him back?"
"She only needs one to bring him back," said Harry, "She had one, she didn't use it to bring him back, she didn't even do the obvious to the light wizard thing: cleansing it or destroying it immediately. Instead she cobbled together her resonant alignment detector and followed it to the next nearest. According to her research, There are two ways to go from here:" said Harry, "destroy one, wait a day or two for the residue to dissipate, and follow the detector to the next nearest. Or build a more sophisticated detector, which requires two samples, but it should be able to pinpoint all the rest, no matter how many there are."
"They aren't cursed objects to her," said Sirius, "they are mere strategic assets in a war. And she hasn't stopped fighting, merely switched sides?"
Harry frowned, as he followed that thought to its logical conclusions, then dove into her mind to check it.
In fact she'd never gone to war.
You're alright Nim, Sirius is making confused accusations. Almost done talking to him I think.
He pulled out and turned his attention back to Sirius, "Sirius, I think that it is you who never noticed the last war being over, which while it might seem foolish to the general populace, is in fact a more accurate description of reality, given those objects on your kitchen table."
Sirius shuddered, "And Bella? Does she realise the war is over?"
Harry leaned forward, "She never noticed the last two wars starting," said Harry, "the war she's fighting is about the House of Black and our Anglo allies and our power and influence despite the invading Saxons, not about magic pure bloods and muggleborns."
Sirius' lip pulled back into a sneer, "I always knew Uncle Cygnus was worse off than mother, but I could never pin down how."
Harry nodded, "Now you have one more datum. Meanwhile, the comforting thing about Bella's delusions compared to what she's let me see of the dark lord, is that she wants the House of Black and our allies, to survive, and be in power, and doesn't care much at all how many muggleborns swell the population, as long as they leave the Anglican church, and join the grove circles."
Sirius rolled his eyes, "and a holy war is at all preferable to a racial war?"
"That's not what I'm saying," said Harry, "I'm just saying her rhetoric is about defending family honour, not about killing everyone who disagrees with her."
"Please tell me you're not being taken in by it?"
Harry snorted, "Not hardly, but as long as I keep moving toward my goals of legal and legislative reforms against corruptions and toward equality of muggleborns, she's going to keep moving along beside me and pushing for my increased power and influence. I'm not sure what happens when she realises that I've risen as far as my skill and/or desire takes me. Or when she realises that she cannot promote our allies farther without coming to grips with her sister Narcissa being married into a Norman house."
Sirius blinked and then guffawed. Which shook the mirror very hard, which made Harry so dizzy that he had to look away, and only gradually look back and keep hold of his sense of space and balance to keep them from reporting the shaking as important or dangerous.
After a while Sirius came back into focus still grinning, "Thanks pup, I needed that."
"No problem," said Harry, "and again with the 'pup' designation?"
Sirius blinked, "fine I'll work on it, but you don't really deserve anything better until you transform."
Harry sighed, and rolled his eyes, "great, I'll get right on that, this afternoon maybe, between braiding my hair and polishing my claws."
Sirius narrowed his eyes, then nodded sagely, "It would make polishing your claws easier."
"Wouldn't it though," said Harry, "in any case, can you work together with Lady Nimrodina and generally keep her calm and not popping into my mind all through class begging for an ombudsman, because you're 'being mean again,' which given the cat/dog dynamic might only be that you're looking at her?"
"What are we, in nursery?"
Harry raised an eyebrow.
"Fine, I'll play nice with my cousin."
"I think she likes you, when she's outdoors, but is paranoid in that house."
"Oh!" said Sirius, "well, that follows, I'm depressed in this house."
"Then let more sunlight in, and/or, tell her to take you out to her workshop, wherever it is she made the first diviner, and see if she needs help with the new one."
Sirius nodded, "It's not like I had anything else to do today, than fight a war everyone else thinks has been over for thirteen years."
Harry nodded, "You and I and Nim and Dumbledore know it's not, not sure which way the Malfoys are betting, or to what extent they really understand what that diary was."
"How many of these things are there?"
"We don't know," said Harry, "Three so far."
"Ugh," said Sirius, "Do we know what they are?"
"They contain memories, They can possess people, drain their life force, and sacrifice them to bring back you-know-who."
"Not revenant anchors then?" Sirius shuddered, "I don't remember what they're called, but I've heard of them, yes. How do you destroy them? Kreature couldn't damage this one at all?"
"I stabbed mine with a basilisk fang," said Harry.
"That sounds bloody expensive," said Sirius.
"Yes, well, I'd just cornered the market on basilisk parts, I just didn't know it yet. I might still own it."
"The fang?"
"The market for basilisk parts, contact Gamp and Davis and tell them as a favour from me, to reserve you a couple ounces of venom, or a fang, or whatever."
"Are you James' son, or mine? Bloody ridiculous, reserve a couple ounces of basilisk venom in very deed, a quarter ounce will do."
"We don't know how many there are," said Harry.
"Right," said Sirius, and shuddered.
"Is there any chance I'm not James' son?"
"Not to my knowledge," said Sirius, "If James hadn't matured, the Marauder with the most chance with Lily would have been Remus. But that would be a long shot."
"Huh," said Harry, "alright."
"That was an odd acquiescence," said Sirius, "What was the real question?"
"My other question," said Harry, "was more like, from what I read, and how well the dates of my birth differ from the dates of their marriage, there was basically no chance that I wasn't the biological and legal heir of Lily's husband, but … I was actually wondering, based on some of the weird discussion of their off-forever-on-again-married romance, I wondered if … if there would be mistresses and beaus on the side, and if those had already been planned and reserved. Do I have half siblings, or in the counter-factual universe where I did have them, who … their parents would have been."
Sirius relaxed, and grinned, "Meh, I guess you are a forth year. Yes, that stuff does happen, but I doubt that would have ever happened on your Dad's side, or not unless she started it. And probably not on her side either, given how uptight she was about … well about her muggle heritage."
Harry nodded, "fine."
"But if you're trying to search out family-ish connections that won't show up on paper, you might find it fruitful to lookup his groomsmen or her bridesmaids and whether they've got families by now yet. Remus and I haven't married, But Alice and Pandora have, no idea about the rest."
"Ah!" said Harry.
"Why did that come up?"
"I figured out that Snape is still in love with her."
Sirius snorted, "In love?"
Harry shrugged, "or in Stockholm syndrome."
Sirius blinked, "Oh … and now his Stockholm is for Dumbledore?"
"No," said Harry, "I think Dumbledore knows and is extorting his feelings for Lily to make him torture children in the name of sub-par education."
"Sub-par?" said Sirius, "If there's anything sub-par about Snivilous besides his hygiene, you must tell me!"
Harry raised an eyebrow, then he shrugged, "There's a difference between capability and practice, and I'd never accuse his capability."
Sirius wrinkled his nose and shrugged.
...-...
Regarding Susan
.
"Neville."
"Yes?"
"Another problem has come to my attention, that you and I need to deal with."
"Merlin," said Neville, "How bad is it this time?"
"Susan Bones."
"In what way?"
"She's afraid that she was so awful a date, that not only do you hate her, and are shunning her, you've transferred some of that to me for being in proximity to her rudeness, and to Hanna for previously being her friend."
Neville blinked, "First of all, that much hate sounds like way too much work, second of all, that sounds like a guilty conscience."
"That is also my assessment," said Harry, "I admit, I've been so busy keeping up with occlumency tutoring, and revising ahead for the animagus class Padma wants me to take next year, that I didn't even notice any coolness from you, if there was any."
"Not consciously," said Neville, "I … hmm, there might have been some."
"Then … I apologise for not noticing and inquiring before now," said Harry.
Neville snorted, "I think, having a conscience clear enough that you didn't notice, is proof that you weren't culpable for whatever it is she's feeling guilty about." He waved at the chair beside him.
Harry sat, "Thank you, but …"
"But what?"
"She still thinks we're both dating material, and wants, as long as we're both clear that she's only dating until the end of next school year, and only courting after that, she'd like … forgiveness for sending mixed signals, and for us to negotiate between us, which of us she's allowed to date, and when, and in what order. And something about a transitional age between children barely being allowed to date, but not allowed to have a 'steady', to old enough to be allowed to have a steady, to finally only allowed to have a steady."
"Oh," said Neville and his eyes rolled back and forth several times as if he was reviewing memories, some of which might involve reading. Finally he nodded, "That explains so much, alright … that's why some very mild mixed signals could generate that much guilt, or maybe only mere awkwardness."
"I got that she has several more rules of morality than I've ever heard of, but not why or how she came by them, or what they … are meant to protect against."
Neville nodded, "I think it means she's an orphan, and in place of only two parents, she thinks she must accept advice from an order of magnitude more aunts, uncles, grandparents, and other-important-adults. And probably cannot detect that's too much weight except perhaps when those rules contradict each other."
Harry shrugged, "sounds likely."
"So, what do you want?" said Neville.
Harry shrugged, "I started pursuing her as a friend to consult with on advice how and what to study for legal stuff."
"And a network link to her Aunt?"
"I think her Aunt started that, actually, but yes."
"Then any dating between the two of you will have the force of courting, at least in her aunt's mind, unless you go out of your way to explain otherwise."
"Merlin," said Harry, and flopped back, "I wouldn't even know where to start."
"Then don't explain, just be aware of it, and when it comes time to call it off, be ready to explain your decision."
"That's one route, certainly," said Harry, "What about you? In Susan's mind at least, I think she gave you first dibs when she agreed to go to the ball."
"I took that as an allowance of one date, not as an acceptance of anything resembling a steady dating relationship. Especially since dances are traditionally a time to flirt with as many people as possible, but having something nominally keeping you too busy to follow up on any of that flirting until you've gotten a good survey of the choices and how much interest they are showing in return."
"I don't think she thought the second, and that sounds like speed dating," said Harry, "I think she thinks she owes you another date to make up for the first, or a chance to display or re-establish or whatever the reputation she thinks she ought to have."
Neville closed his eyes, "I'm willing to spend some time to get to know her, but … I think, not alone, and I think not on something she'd be tempted to call a date."
"Ah," said Harry, "That makes sense, so you want me to tell her, … no more dates from you, but you've forgiven her far enough to offer friendship, depending on how she acts?"
"That sounds way too formal," said Neville, "and mildly more tentative than I meant, but yes."
"Alright," said Harry.
"What about you?"
"My mind is so busy with schoolwork and Padma, and Luna, and Hermione, and Nim, dating her isn't really on my list."
"That makes sense," said Neville.
"I'd still like her input on the legal team, I mean, study group that Padma and Hermione and I are doing about law and legal reforms, but … I don't want …"
"What?"
"It's not that I don't want to date her, it's not that I want her academic help and not to help her in return or anything, I just don't know how much more I can add."
"So tell her that."
"I cannot really tell her I won't date her because I'm already dating Hermione, because—"
"Because Hermione is dating Victor Krum?"
"No," said Harry, "Because I didn't tell Padma that."
"You're dating both?"
Harry shrugged.
"Does Hermione know that?"
Harry shrugged, "sort of."
"Does … is Mr. Krum aware that he's sharing Hermione with you?"
"Hermione and I haven't actually been together since the Ball, so, — technically he's not sharing her with me, unless Hermione thinks he is."
"What?" said Neville, "that's either a lot worse than anything Susan did, or it's something weird enough that it needs a formal contract."
Harry snorted, "I told Padma that I was Hermione's first, and Hermione would be smart enough to figure it all out with very little evidence. She told me that she'd practice dated her sister, and one other girl, but that was going through the motions, and it didn't amount to anything."
"Alright," said Neville.
"I told her I thought of Hermione like a big sister, and Hermione had made sure I'd understood that she wasn't my steady. I was just her tutor."
"Oh!" said Neville, "alright, that makes sense, you could have just said that."
"Said which?"
"You are Hermione's tutor, but are dating Padma, and Hermione is dating Mr. Krum."
Harry blinked, "So, The tutor thing is a real thing?"
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because Nim is a slytherin and will say anything to get her way."
Neville blinked, "Just to be clear, what?"
Harry shrugged.
"Nim, what?"
"Helped convince me to offer tutoring to Hermione."
Neville took a deep breath, "Right, thrall logic."
Harry nodded. Neville eyed him for several seconds more.
"Alright," said Neville, "so … you're dating Padma, but are in active contracts with at least one other witch, you don't feel open to dating or establishing additional contracts with Susan."
"I don't feel open to dating her," said Harry, "I … might have used her name in a name-dropping argument with a veela who was annoyed to find me impervious to her allure, and to her political clout."
"That would be Fleur, the other three don't have political clout worth mentioning."
"Hmm, worth mentioning, or worth mentioning to you, Heir Longbottom," said Harry, "but, never mind, it's a correct deduction. My point was, the veela understood me to be speaking of a date, but I was speaking of keeping an appointment. I would feel mildly more justified after the fact about allowing her to remain deceived, if I actually did date Susan a few times, I just don't know when."
Neville nodded, "fine."
Harry shrugged.
"So …" said Neville, "we're clear between us? She communicated badly, while drunk and needy, and we took care of her, and aren't interested in dating her?"
"I'm not currently interested in dating her," said Harry.
"Fine," said Neville, "suit yourself."
"Given that she feels she owes you one more make up date, or whatever," said Harry, "I think you can keep her away from me indefinitely, not sure if it would block her from anyone else, or just from me."
"That's called 'stringing someone along'," said Neville, "and is considered rude … kind of … the inverse power play to rape, I wouldn't do that to her, except … perhaps as a favour to you, if you don't feel up to telling her 'no' for yourself."
"Meh," said Harry, "she has not yet given any indication of being above Padma on the pushiness scale, I think I can handle telling her 'no,'"
"There's a pushiness scale?" said Neville.
"In my experience it goes from you up to Ginny Weasley," said Harry, "Padma falls a little below Hermione, she's kind of relaxing to be around, she says what she wants, but doesn't confuse that fact with what I might want, or might ought to want."
"Parvati also has a well developed theory of mind," said Neville.
"What's theory of mind, again?" said Harry.
"Informational empathy," said Neville, "people don't know things that they have not had a chance to observe or be informed of, also have differing preferences."
"What's up?" said Parvati.
"Harry was complimenting your sister, I said it vaguely applied to you also."
"Oh?" preened Parvati.
"He said she's less pushy than Hermione."
Parvati deflated, "Oh is that all? that's not hard."
"No," agreed Harry, "But even better is striking a good balance between communicating what you want, and not ordering or begging."
"You like pushy?" said Parvati, "you just don't like Hermione's level of pushiness."
"Yes," said Harry, "Something like that."
"Soooo," said Parvati, "why did this come up?"
Harry stared at her for several seconds, "Because I'd like to date her, but we're both so busy, you know."
Parvati snorted, "You're only going to get busier for OWL year, you might as well practice keeping control of your schedule already."
"Good point," said Harry.
"Have you considered dating twins?" said Parvati.
Harry blinked, "while I cannot argue with the striking aesthetics that could involve—
Parvati growled, or was that a purr?
"We just established that there already isn't enough of me, how much would you actually enjoy an even smaller share than that, taking turns with her."
Parvati shrugged, and took a moment to calculate, then her eyes gleamed, "I thought we just established that there's already not enough of her," Parvati pouted, "what makes you think I want to give up any of my turn with her, to you or anyone else."
Harry blinked, "That is honestly an argument I hadn't considered."
"Well?" said Parvati, "And remember, I am the pretty one."
"And she's the one with a spot on my legal team, should she choose to pursue it."
"You're fourteen," said Parvati, "Why do you have a legal team already?"
"I'm a peer," said Harry, "Why wouldn't I?"
"Do you need a press secretary?"
"Luna Lovegood."
Her eyes widened, "not, that kind of press secretary."
Harry shrugged.
"Potions specialist?"
"Perhaps," said Harry.
"HR?"
"Ah," said Harry, "an interesting option."
Parvati smirked and held out her hand.
Harry stared at it and then back at her.
"You're supposed to say, welcome aboard, and shake it."
Neville opened his mouth, then closed it again.
"I realise that," said Harry, "Instead I'm going to say: First talk with your sister, and make sure that you both know what you want, and exactly how far you're willing to bless each others' endeavours. I refuse to be a battleground between you two. Then come to me, and tell me what is or is not on offer."
Neville opened his mouth, then frowned and closed it, then he smirked.
"I can respect that," nodded Parvati and withdrew her hand, "I can respect that a lot."
She wandered away.
Harry heaved a sigh, "well it was fun while it lasted."
"Why didn't you just tell her 'no'?"
"Because there were too many different things on offer, I'll line item veto what I don't want, once the whole catalogue is on the table."
"What do you want?"
"Not to ruin my chances with Padma."
"Fair," said Neville, "But … Would you really date them both?"
"There is dating them both, and there is dating Padma in her natural environment, which might be, with Parvati along for chaperone."
"I'm fairly sure that their 'natural' state is the other way around."
Harry shrugged, "chaperone isn't quite the concept I'm looking for, something more like: When they're in the same room, do they talk English, and are even easier to read, or is there inaudible twin speak going on under the surface, like George and Fred, and I'd be completely left out?"
"Depends on their mood, so far as I can tell," said Neville.
"Ah, alright," said Harry, "Like I said, it was fun while it lasted."
"Do you think they'll agree to share you?"
"Share me as boyfriend? Or as conveniently local, rescue-prone, defence tutor and all around study partner?"
"Ah," said Neville, and nodded, "you like Padma enough, that you couldn't tell Parvati 'no' about all the implied favours you're willing to do her on the basis of Padma being your friend."
"I guess," said Harry.
Neville nodded.
"What were you going to say earlier while she was being pushy?"
"I had a mild twinge of jealousy, and almost protested that I'm a peer too, and certainly could use a legal team. But even I don't want a legal team that is confused about the availability of romantic entanglements."
"Fair," said Harry, "You think … that I'm being unprofessional?"
"Given the way she put you on the spot, I don't want to imply that I think she deserved … a fully articulate answer," said Neville.
"Hmm," said Harry.
"However it is normal to separate business and pleasure, especially when it comes to billable hours," said Neville.
"I understand," said Harry.
"Also to when it comes to people who know you, and the law intimately enough to sue your bollix off."
"Good point," said Harry.
"What's the topic of the night?" said Hermione flopping on a chair across from Neville.
"What is the topic every night?" said Harry.
"So … 'How to properly take over the world?'" said Hermione.
"Nnn?" choked Neville.
"Pretty much," said Harry.
"Yes, well," said Hermione, "but, are there any interesting new conclusions?"
"Not really," said Harry, "I just asked Parvati's blessing to date her sister, and before that I agreed with Neville that Susan Bones is definitely friend material, and needs to prove herself to herself a bit more before she's dating material."
Hermione opened her mouth, then closed it again.
"And somewhere in there Neville quizzed me on whether you knew how the pureblood tradition that sexual tutoring is a completely different thing from dating, which is a completely different thing from courting. And I said, I was fairly sure from some of the things you've told me, that you knew that by instinct, but that you might prefer to research the traditions and etiquette that go with the vocabulary for yourself."
"Hmm," said Hermione, "that's probably true, would that etiquette and whatnot normally be covered in that tutoring?"
"It could," said Harry, "Or it might be covered in general etiquette tutoring, before the pureblood child is even old enough for the other kind of tutoring."
"That makes sense," said Hermione, "In what way were you thinking of making Susan prove herself?"
Harry shrugged, "It sort of depends on whether she really wants to date me, or only wants in on the legal team and study group."
Hermione blinked at him, "I want her in the study group, I thought she already was, why has dating become part of the question?"
"Because she either wants it to be part of the question, or because she just wanted to clear the air first."
"Either of which is a valid desire," said Hermione, "do you already have requirements set out?"
"Not really," said Harry.
"Well, when you decide, also figure out whether you or I ought to be the one to tell her, we're both founding members of the group, even if you are nominally the teacher."
"Good point," said Harry.
"Hmm, well, I'd best be off to finish my essay for ancient runes."
"You're going to work in the office?"
"Yeah," said Hermione, "I want somewhere quieter than in here."
"I will too, when I get to arithmancy."
She nodded and clumped away.
"The featherweight charm on her bag is fading," mused Harry.
"You can differentiate that from stomping?" said Neville.
"Definitely," said Harry, "one affects her balance in addition to her gait."
"Are you sure that it's Padma you want to be dating, and not Hermione?"
"I'm sure what I want," said Harry, "and I think, so is Hermione."
"Alright," said Neville, "Good luck."
"Thanks."
...-...
In which Parvati pretends to be bored
Parvati walked down the corridor. She'd just had a row with Lavender about their hair product potion, specifically about which ingredient substitution to try next.
Parvati knew exactly what to try next, she could even prove it arithmantically from the standard reaction table and the colour deficiency in their potion, but Lavender wasn't taking arithmancy, (because everyone had told her it was difficult and useless, whereas Parvati's mother said arithmancy was a skill she used so much everyday that it faded into the background, like reading, so Parvati was taking it, (and was starting to agree with her mother). But if she was being honest … if she hadn't had Lavender there to keep her grounded she might have soon forgotten that not everyone was learning to see what she was learning to see, they walked around semi-blind, except it was thinking not walking, and it wasn't that they were thinking blindly, just that Parvati had more kinds of flashlights and more kinds of climbing shoes, and could think her way from where she was to where she wanted to go more directly, sometimes, if and when she already knew enough about the situation, and what experiments she should try next to get the more-information-she-needed-next), and so, they'd reached an impasse.
But rather than allow things to devolve farther, or begin working cross purposes, or several other negative outcomes, Parvati had finally evicted herself from the unused classroom where they'd set up their brewing station.
And so she was right, but still had to wait for Lavender to catch up.
And so, she was right, but bored anyway.
And so Parvati walked.
Parvati was using her boredom walk. Technically it was an in-motion meditation. She had two favourite meditations for boredom walking, the first mantra went something like this:
"I'm bored,
I do not wish to be bored,
Moving is less boring that sitting still,
Observing is less boring than ignoring,
Walk, observe, end up somewhere interesting."
Almost always she ended up somewhere she might not normally go, observing something she might not normally take interest in. That was part of the fun and part of the risk, not knowing if there was something interesting nearby that she'd never noticed, or finding out that there were thousands of small things that were just uninteresting enough that she'd never noticed them before. And perhaps would not willingly notice again. What would happen this time? a new discovery? Or a new unexplored level of boredom?
The second mantra was like onto the first, it went:
"I'm bored and alone,
I do not wish to be bored and alone,
Probably Padma is doing something interesting,
I wonder what it is.
Walk, observe, find someone interesting."
It also usually worked.
At home both meditations tended to end with her at her sister's side, watching whatever her sister was up to.
At Hogwarts, they tended to diverge, the first meditation would often lead her to a small magical plant or animal, or a blackboard with some diagrams or arithmancy left behind by other students. The second meditation often guided her to her sister, but just as often to a magical card game in progress, that she'd never heard of before, or a fellow student or two engaged in some magical hobby or other.
Both sometimes led her to someone else's study group.
She never said either of these mantra's aloud, didn't even think the concepts in words, most of the time, just thought them, or intended them.
It wasn't until late in second year that she realised that sometimes she pushed magic into her intent, and the search for something or someone interesting would happen that much quicker.
Today her intention was a bit more Padma centred than usual, and so she wasn't surprised on passing a side corridor that led in a not quite towards-ravenclaw direction, to catch sight of Padma half way-down waving her wand at a door.
She turned and approached and observed for a minute. Padma had a small rune set scratched, inked, and painted, once on a piece of parchment and twice on the door. She was trying a series of taps, swishes, and jabs. And a whole list of incantations, both Latin, Hindi, and English. Nothing seemed to have activated to her satisfaction. Though the inked one was gently sparkling with enough magic that Parvati figured it could explode if it went much farther without activating.
"Wotcha doing?" said Parvati.
"Waiting for Luna to finish the next draft of her charm's essay."
"Who what now?"
"For a variety of reasons," said Padma, "She cannot join a study group in her own year, so sometimes I tutor her."
"Alright, whatever," said Parvati, "what's the rune set supposed to do?"
"Make the door invisible," said Parvati.
"Invisible like see into the room, or invisible like walk right past it?"
"Invisible like walk right past it," said Padma.
"Interesting," said Parvati. The intent of her meditation dissipated, leaving her clearheaded, and more clearly able to see the rune set, or … single rune actually.
It was an unusually complex rune.
"What does the rune mean?"
"Harry Potter."
"Oh, this is the sign of the green-eyed-dragon?" said Parvati.
"You've heard of it?"
"There were wild rumours all over gryffindor about how Hermione used it during the brawl at the Quidditch world cup to hide two tents and half a clearing."
"Huh, alright," said Padma, "and you're sure it was Hermione that used it?"
"Yeah," said Parvati.
"Then that is proof enough that I should be able to do this."
"What are you trying to do?"
"Claim the room for Luna and I to study in unobserved."
"What mantra?"
"I've tried, 'mine' and I've tried, 'Harry's' and I've tried all the standard rune activation incantations."
Parvati drew her wand and reached past her sister, and said, just before she tapped the parchment, "I hereby claim this room in the name of Harry Potter."
Everything went dim, the rune activated, sparkled, then sparked at both Parvati and Padma, though not enough to knock either of them off their feet. Then it smouldered, and the world went mostly back to normal.
Padma giggled.
"You don't have to laugh at me," said Parvati, "anyway, that's the words Hermione was supposed to have used in the story, 'I hereby claim this land in the name of Harry Potter,' but no one knows who was there besides the Weasleys, and I don't trust Ron to remember specific wording, and I don't trust the twins to tell the truth when they don't feel like it. You don't have to laugh at me."
"I wasn't laughing at you," said Padma, "I was laughing because it tickled."
"Huh?" said Parvati.
But Padma only giggled more.
"Where did you get the rune from anyway?" said Parvati, "That was always the most hush hush part of the story. Though now that I've seen it, I figure that outside a couple Asian languages, most people aren't prepared to remember a rune that complex."
"I copied it off my back," said Padma.
"What?" said Parvati.
Padma disappeared. Giggled a tiny bit more, then sobered, then reappeared.
"Hmm," said Parvati, "What?"
"I gave him his first kiss, he gave me my first tattoo, it validates my position in his hierarchy to care for his ward, Luna." She made a gesture through the closed door.
"That's the muggle meaning of the word?"
"Yes, ward as in protectorate, not ward as in enchanted defence."
"OK, so … are you also his protectorate?"
"Yes? No?" Padma shrugged, and trailed off, "only in bed."
Parvati turned and stared.
Padma blushed, but grinned.
"Are you going to marry him?"
"Only if he lets me?" said Padma.
"And if he doesn't?" said Parvati.
"Marry someone else?" said Padma, then shrugged, "either way, for the moment I have Luna."
"Do you think anyone will marry you with his rune tattooed on you?"
Padma tilted her head and stared, then opened the door and pulled Parvati inside.
As if on second thought she turned back and pointed her wand at the painted section of door, "I claim this room, in the name of Harry, Lord of Potter."
The doorway vanished. Padma giggled slightly, pulled her hand and wand out of the wall, adjusted her robes slightly, and mimed closing a door.
She turned to Parvati and her grin faded, "Are you alright?"
"Are we trapped?" said Parvati.
Padma looked around, "It did work then? It didn't merely drag enough magic through my tattoo to confuse me?"
Parvati stared at where the door ought to be, "I cannot see a way out."
Padma nodded, "When you're ready to leave, tell me, and I'll open the door, and you walk through it like the barrier in king's cross."
"Ah, alright," said Parvati.
Padma nodded, then her grin returned and she took off her robes. And pulled up her shirt to expose her lower back.
There was no runes.
Parvati said as much.
"I know," said Padma, "I have to be in bed with him, or at least thinking of him the right way, for it to appear."
"Oh?" said Parvati.
"Like so:" said Padma, and vanished.
Parvati's breath whiffed out again, "You're invisible," said Parvati.
"Exactly," said Padma and reappeared, Parvati caught the slightest hint of the fading rune, and then it was gone. "No one can see it except Harry, and other people who have it."
"I see," said Parvati, "How is that possible?"
"Its normal properties are to hide the thing it marks from everything that is not also marked. When Harry asked me if I was his, I said, 'only in bed and I get to choose when I want to be in bed.' Which either he interpreted weird and used as an intent when he gave me the mark, or—" Padma shrugged, "anyway, so I have the mark when I want it, and not when I don't."
"Alright," said Parvati, and sighed, then sighed again.
"Uh oh," said Padma, "I know that sigh, what's the problem now?"
"Harry … I guess he … asked my blessing to date you."
"That's a weird convolution of courtship tradition."
"Hadn't thought about it that way," said Parvati.
"What did you say?"
"I sort of couldn't imagine what you'd see in each other, he's … kind of quiet and broody most of the time. Except, well, … since Malfoy gave him that hairbrush, which gives him a ritual that allows him to let Hermione pet him in a context that they both can appreciate, instead of the hugs she used to give him that he didn't understand, and the puppy dog eyes among many other things he used to give her that she didn't understand. Now they're better. And … watching you grin and talk about him," Parvati shrugged, "now you're better."
Padma nodded, and grinned again, "and?"
"I figured he and I would be a better fit, I sort of tried to steal him, by asking if he'd consider dating both of us."
Padma looked half shocked, half amused, very outraged.
"He said, 'no, he didn't have time, for twice as many dates.'"
Padma relaxed.
"I told him, I didn't have time to share you for any dates, he … he said for me to negotiate with you."
Padma narrowed her eyes, "So I get to tell you 'no' instead of him?"
Parvati shook her head, "He meant 'no' but he … when he fully realised he was asking permission to steal you from me, he couldn't argue, didn't know what to say, and finally said, 'maybe,' but we'd have to agree between ourselves what we wanted, and then tell him."
"Ugh," said Padma, "He's right about there not being enough time in a given week."
"Yeah," said Parvati, "and he's taking one more class than the rest of us. And then trying to teach it to Hermione, it's driving him and everyone else spare."
Padma smirked, "He's also bringing me up to speed on that and animagus pre-reading."
"You're also insane," said Parvati.
Padma smirked wider, "at least we never run out of things to talk about."
"Certainly," said Parvati, "but is it worth it? I mean … It's OK to just sit and meditate some of the time."
Padma nodded, "True."
"Anyway," said Parvati, "he said for us to negotiate sharing him, or he and I sharing you, or whatever, but what he really meant was … was that he knew that sister-in-laws were a thing and he didn't want me angry at him."
Padma nodded, "you know, when I told him that I knew how to sleep back to back, or heaped wrists, because we slept together after bad dreams or whatever. He started to cry."
"Harry Potter cried?"
"Yes, very definitely."
"About having to share you with me?"
"No, about he has a cousin, a month older, who he was raised with, and he wished they'd been twins instead, or at least raised as twins, instead of raised as Cinderella and her step sisters."
Parvati blinked, and tried to imagine Harry treating anyone even a cousin like Cinderella. It didn't fit at all, then she closed her eyes, and remembered, Harry Potter the eleven year old, in the ugliest and most pointless clothes, Harry Potter, winning Quidditch on a broom barely more spindly than he was.
Harry Potter, orphan.
Everyone knew that, but no one saw.
Neville was an orphan too, but he'd come to school over-plump compared to everyone but Ron.
Harry Potter who hadn't known how to hug. Who had followed Ron around like a lost cruppy, even into trouble apparently.
Who had followed her sister, standoffish straitlaced Padma, into bed. OK, so … not so straitlaced.
"What does that grin mean?" said Padma.
"Huh?"
"I've never seen it before," said Padma.
Parvati shrugged, and smiled again, "You're good for each other."
"You've given me your blessing about other things before, and that was usually more of a resigned sigh, what is that grin?"
"Less jealous, less like 'surely I'd be a better match for him than Padma,' and less like, 'I'll be very annoyed if he takes you away from me,' and more like, 'grab him, Padma, and hold him down so I can have a turn,'."
Padma's eyes popped open, "I don't think he'd be into that."
"I didn't mean physically," said Parvati, "I meant … relationally? Or something."
Padma seemed to get it, half way at least.
"You do want him physically," said Padma.
"Well, yes," said Parvati, "But …"
"And you do want him for a boyfriend?"
"Hmm, maybe not," said Parvati, "I don't know what I want. I want to see how he is around you before I decide."
"You want to date him vicariously?" said Padma.
"Yes!" said Parvati, "for all of them."
"You do realise that most of the dates in question have been study group activities, except more likely to be one on one?"
"Damn," said Parvati.
"You want to be sister-in-law-with-benefits," sighed Padma, "Or whatever that's called at it's merely dating stage."
"I want to not get left out," sighed Parvati.
Padma nodded, "We should have collaborated a bit better about which house to go to."
"Yeah," sighed Parvati.
"Ask him to be your sex tutor," said a voice from across the room.
Parvati turned but there was no one there.
"What did you say, Luna?" said Padma.
"Purebloods separate 'sex to learn sex' from 'sex to enjoy with friends' from 'sex to make babies' ask who you want for the one you want," said the invisible girl, "Harry's had tutoring, and is tutored Hermione, he can keep dating Padma, and Parvati can go too, for just the tutoring she wants, and not for all the other kinds of tutoring and intrigue that Padma wants, and Parvati doesn't want."
Padma and Parvati looked at each other.
Or for the kinds of intrigue that Parvati might want that Padma doesn't. Not that Harry was into much of that. Never mind.
Padma shrugged, "I imagine that could work."
"If you were any kind of normal girl, going on normal dates," hissed Parvati, "My idea could work, but … I'm willing to settle for what she just said. In theory. I just …"
"Want what you said earlier, following me around, dating him vicariously through me."
Parvati shrugged, "except for when the current events need the gryffindor version of his girlfriend, instead of the ravenclaw version?"
"How often is that?"
Parvati shrugged.
"If I said: we (which sometimes includes Hermione) are revising basically all the subjects that either of us are in, which topics would you want to join in on?"
"Charms, Defence, Potions," said Parvati without needing to think, "and sex, … and hair braiding, don't you think it's time he changed his do a little?"
Padma laughed, "He likes it the way he has it, and I can see why, it's very striking, and even more practical than cut short like he used to have it."
"Hmm," said Parvati.
"And I intend to add a bit of clothes shopping intermittently," said Padma, "I'm not sure he's really aware of what's available to the wizarding world, regarding underthings."
"Oh," said Parvati.
"And if he really is so interested in durability, as to prefer denim to slacks, he really ought to invest in acromantula silk, it's the best of both without going all the way to dragon hide."
"Dragon hide is cold and doesn't breathe," said Parvati.
"Exactly my point," said Padma.
They blinked at each other, then snickered, then Padma said, "So we're agreed? We share him about everything, except the study sessions for classes you don't care about?"
Parvati nodded, "And by share him, we don't mean, 'take turns' we mean date him together."
"When at all possible," nodded Padma.
"Are you going to watch each other have sex?" asked invisible Luna from across the room.
They both turned to her and said, "I assume so," then turned back and chuckled again. The laughter didn't last long, but the locked gazes and the friendly smiles did.
"It's something of a relief actually," said Padma.
"You missed me?" said Parvati.
"Horribly," said Padma, "But … do you really want a mark?"
"I'll have to think about it," said Parvati, "being seen is more interesting to me than turning invisible."
Padma nodded, "Good point."
"Ask for it as an amulet, instead," said Luna.
"I'll think about it," said Parvati.
...-...
{End Chapter 12}
