This is also a long one. Enjoy!
5
As Steve and I walk with our hands intertwined towards the training grounds, I start thinking about what type of father he's going to be. He possesses all the qualities to be an excellent father. He's kind, protective, funny and incredibly understanding. I suddenly have a vision of Steve chasing after a blue-eyed carefree girl, the sound of her gleeful screams filling me with the warmest of feelings.
Will she be like me? Is she going to be like Steve? Or is she going to be her own little person?
Then the logical question that follows is: what type of mother am I going to be? I know I already love her, therefore I will do everything in my power to make sure no harm comes her way. For now, I decide to ignore the fact that I will definitely not be able to fight every single bad thing that comes her way. But there's going to be so much love in her life. She's going to have us, Mother, Antiope and the whole of Themyscira to love her. She's going to have Bruce, Alfred, Clark, Lois, Arthur, Victor and Barry – he's going to go insane when he finds out I'm pregnant – and Barbara Ann, who I'm sure will make some witty remark that's going to make Steve and I laugh. Our baby is going to be happy. Our baby is going to be loved.
"Antiope!"
At the sound of my voice she turns and smiles wide. I let go of Steve's hand and take a few long strides to get to her. She laughs as I throw my arms around her with a little more strength than normal.
"Diana. How good it is to see you! I was surprised when Venelia informed me of your arrival. Friend,"
She says to Steve as she let's go of me to hug him.
"How's my favourite Amazonian general?" Steve asks returning the hug.
"Everything is good in the island, Captain. Peaceful. Hopefully it will stay that way." – she looks over at me – "So? Is everything alright? I was told you went to see Epione, Diana."
I smile and look at Steve and he nods, allowing me to be the one to tell my aunt the good news.
"Everything is fine. More than fine actually. We're having a baby,"
A short gleeful scream comes out of Antiope's mouth – a sound I never would've expected to come out of her.
"By the Gods' mercy! How wonderful! A child!"
I see her eyes become glassy and once again, I am enveloped in her arms. I hear the murmurs grow louder and before I know it, we're surrounded by excited amazons. I thank all of their congratulations and accept all their hugs. I hear Steve exclaim: 'Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!' and I turn to see him being bear hugged and lifted by Artemis. I laugh and I cannot wait to share the news with the rest of our friends.
Eventually Antiope realises there's too much excitement in the air and focus is being lost, so she commands her soldiers to resume their training.
"I wish to train too, Antiope. If that's okay…"
She squeezes my arm gently. "Of course, it is. You know what to do,"
I nod and turn to Steve, "You don't have to stay. I think I'm going to be here for a while."
"I'll stay for a bit if you don't mind. It's not very often I see you train."
I smile at him, "Okay, then."
I walk into the training grounds and immediately go for the sword. I examine it for a minute, the sun hits the metal making it shine particularly beautifully. I look up and see Steve sitting on the edge of a big rock that's been shaped into stairs.
"I trust Epione has told you about what to expect in regards to your body and how it will affect your fighting?"
Antiope asks as Menalippe hands her her sword.
I nod. "Yes. She said my senses will become more sensitive to stimuli and as with any regular pregnancy, my centre of gravity will change, which is why it's a good idea to increase my training."
Antiope raises her sword and adjusts her grip on it. I do the same.
"Learning to fight with a child growing inside of you is not going to be as hard as you may think,"
She takes a quick step forward and lunges. I move my sword down and block her first attack.
"You're not just protecting people because it is the right thing to do anymore."
She does a half turn and swings her sword towards my ribs. I block it and quickly take a step back to block her next swing with a loud shing.
"Now you're protecting family. Your child. Are you going to let anyone hurt your child?"
Antiope throws a series of attacks I haven't really seen before and I struggle to block them. I take a couple of steps back to try and delay her attacks but she moves fast and continues to throw blow after blow with flawless swordsmanship. I hold my sword with two hands transitioning to a full defence stance.
I feel the burn in my arms as they absorb the force behind each of Antiope's blows. I think back to hundreds of years ago when she would overpower me every. single. time. Back then, I thought it was because she simply was better than me, had more experience. Right now, I realise I couldn't beat her because she wasn't fighting for herself. She was fighting against me for me. Antiope wanted me to learn how to protect myself so when the day came, I would have a fighting chance against Ares.
I was always overpowered by her because I was fighting for myself.
Antiope goes to swing her sword towards my legs and when I block her attack, with amazing speed, she moves to stand next to me, shoulder to shoulder, and pushes me to the ground. I fall with a grunt managing to keep hold of my sword.
When I turn to look at Antiope, I see her feet leaving the ground as she jumps high over me. I remain on the ground looking at her and the now familiar sensation of my senses shifting blurs my vision momentarily. I panic not being able to see where Antiope is and I start shuffling backwards, but then, much like in a movie when the camera moves forward fast and at the same time, the zoom button is pushed, I see Antiope descending on me. My vision zooms directly to her hand and I see her sword poised for an attack. Then I look at her face and I see exactly what her intentions are.
That sword is meant to run me through.
That sword is meant to hurt her.
Her question from moments ago plays back loud in my ears.
Are you going to let anyone hurt your child?
I slam my right fist on the grass and push myself with enough force to slide to my left. I jump up to a standing position and just before Antiope lands, I hold my sword up with both hands, much like I did when I executed Ludendorff, and bring it down with all of my strength. Sparks fly when my sword runs through the blade of Antiope's. I come down on one knee as my blade disappears into the grass.
The force of my strike made Antiope let go of the handle of her sword and she fell on the grass with a thud. I stand up and look at Antiope's sword with the handle of mine sticking out of its blade. I stretch out my hand to her and answer her question.
"Never,"
Antiope looks at me and for a moment I think she might be mad, but then I see a smile creep along her face. She raises her right hand and shakes it.
"Ow,"
I laugh. She takes my hand and I help her up.
She takes the handle of my sword and yanks it out of the grass, her sword coming up with it. Antiope pulls my sword out of hers and she examines the new hole on her weapon's blade. She hands me both swords and pats me on the shoulder.
"See? Not hard at all."
I turn towards Steve and I see him sitting there, his chin resting on his hand and he's shaking his head with a smile on his face. I flex and poke at my bicep and then shrug. I see him throw his head back in laughter.
"Menalippe, I'm going to need another sword!", I hear Antiope scream.
I throw aside Antiope's useless sword and get ready for the next round. We train for hours and hours. I feel like I train with every one of the Amazons in the training grounds. I see the sun starting to make its descend somewhere behind the ocean and Antiope declares today's training over. Menalippe takes my sword and puts it away for me. I exhale deeply and let my shoulders sag. I look over towards where Steve was seating and see he's no longer there. I start making my way towards the palace.
"How do you feel?", Antiope asks catching up to me.
I wipe the sweat off my brow. "Like I could take a long relaxing bath."
She laughs, "You deserve it. You did well today, Diana. There's room for improvement. There always is. But we'll continue tomorrow. How long are you and the Captain staying for?"
"Just for a couple more days. We'll be back on the next full moon though. That hasn't changed."
She nods. "I'm still getting used to you not living here. I miss you."
I look at her and throw my arm over her shoulders. "I miss you too."
"You know? I never thought I would get to hold a baby, but then you came along. Then I definitely thought I would never get to hold another babe, and now you're bringing into the world a child of your own. You never stop amazing me, Diana."
I smile. "I never thought I would have a child. Much less with Steve. I haven't really had the time to process it all yet but, now that I know she's on her way… It feels right."
"She?"
I nod. "Mother used Aphrodite's medallion. East to west."
She laughs. "Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Although it would have been interesting to see a male Amazon. Maybe we still can."
I bark out laugh. "Let's just see how things go with this one."
We walk together in silence until we reach the palace. Antiope wishes me a goodnight and tells me she's sending someone to set me up a bath. I smile and wish her a goodnight as well. I climb the stairs, hoping to find Steve in my chambers. My mind wanders off momentarily and I start seeing the changes in the palace. I see more smiling women as their eyes follow my little one running unburdened through the palace – Steve and I probably chasing after her. I see Mother on the balcony carrying her and explaining to her how the Amazons came to be. I see Antiope teaching her great niece how to spar, and I see Steve and I on the beach, splashing in the water with our daughter - our creation.
I open the door and scan my chambers not finding Steve. I step in and close the door wondering where he might be. I start removing my cuffs when I hear a strangled breath. My head snaps up towards the balcony. I take quick steps, pushing the curtains aside and my eyes widen when I find Steve holding onto the railing and crying like I've never seen him cry before.
"Steve? What's wrong?"
I place my hand gently on his back and he shakes his head closing his eyes.
"I can't. I just… I can't."
My vision becomes blurry and I feel my chest tighten at seeing him like this.
"You can't what?"
He takes a deep breath in and turns to look at me. A few more tears run down his cheeks.
He shakes his head sadly at me. "It has to be just her. I can't – we can't have more children."
I stare at him momentarily frozen. Did he have a change of heart? Is he not comfortable with the idea of having a child anymore? He was so excited a few hours ago…
"I don't think I'm understanding what you're saying, Steve. Earlier you made it sound like you were thrilled."
He holds my hands. "I was. I am. Sorry, it's all coming out wrong. Everything was so clear to me when Epione first told us and now…"
Steve lets out a frustrated grunt and then rubs one of his eyes. "While I was watching you train, a thought popped into my mind. Our daughter is a demigod, but she could've been human and the mere thought of knowing we would've eventually outlived her… It's unbearable. It caught me by surprise. We've only known we're going to have her for, what? 12 hours? And I already - -"
"Love her so much it hurts?"
He nods. "Yes."
I look down at our hands gathering my thoughts and start rubbing circles on his knuckles with my thumbs.
"I had that thought when Epione told us she's a demigod. I just didn't think much about it."
He rests his forehead against mine and I start to rub the nape of his neck. We stay locked in that position for a few minutes until I hear a knock on the door. I consider ignoring it, but then I remember Antiope telling me she would send someone to draw me a bath.
I kiss Steve softly on the lips and wait for him to open his eyes. I look at him for a few seconds letting him know we're not done talking yet. He gives me the barest of nods and I move closer to the door and say,
"Come in,"
The door opens and two maids come in carrying two basins of water each.
"Your Highness, good evening. The General sent us,"
I smile softly. "Yes, she told me. Today's training was hard on my muscles."
"We'll have it ready for you in no time, Princess."
"Thank you."
They get to work quickly. The four basins of hot water are enough to fill the bath; the vapour rising up from it quite inviting. One of the maids pulls out a set of drying cloths from my armoire and lays them down gently on a chair nearby. I remove my boots while they finish setting everything up.
"Do you wish for us to come in a few hours and gather things up, Princess?"
I shake my head. "No, it's alright. You can do that in the morning. Thank you."
"Very well, Your Highness. Have a goodnight."
"You too."
They bow and leave my chambers closing the door behind them. I hear Steve's soft steps behind me. He kisses my shoulder and I lean back against his chest.
"Do you need help undoing the buckles?"
I nod despite not needing the help because I've learnt over this past year, that it's easier for Steve to talk about what he's feeling if his hands are busy.
"What are your fears?", I ask.
I feel him start working on the buckles slowly.
"I don't know much about Greek mythology, but I don't think demigods are created just for the sake of being created. There's a reason. They have a purpose. A duty. What's hers going to be? Is her duty going to put her in danger?"
I feel the last buckle loosen and I step out of my armour. Steve offers me his hand and I take it, stepping into the bathtub carefully and lowering myself down. I close my eyes processing all Steve's saying. My fears are the same. I've just been avoiding them all day long.
Steve sits down on the floor next to the bathtub facing me. He wraps his arms around his knees.
I don't say anything and let him voice all that's been in his mind bothering him.
"And that's not even the first thing we should be worrying about. The most pressing matter is how are we going to protect her while we raise her? How do we tell her who she is? How do we make her understand she's the daughter of the goddess of truth and an immortal man? Or do we not tell her until she's old enough to understand?"
I start treading my hand through the water trying to find the answers to his questions – trying to not descend into a panic like he did a few moments ago.
"I don't want to lie to her."
That's the one thing I'm very certain about. I know what it's like to be on the receiving end of your mother's lies. Especially when it concerns who you are.
I don't want to do that to her.
"I don't want that either."
I take a deep breath in and look at Steve.
"I'm scared. Terrified actually. I wish I had the answers to all of your questions, but I don't and that terrifies me even more. But there are two things that I know for certain."
Steve puts his arm on the side of the bathtub and rests his chin on his arm.
"What's that?"
"The world today is not the same as it was a 100 years ago. I know it's not less dangerous, but it's easier to keep her safe. We can keep her safe."
He nods. "And the second one?"
"You're going to be the best father to her. She's so lucky to have you."
His eyes become glassy, but he smiles.
"You, angel, are going to be the greatest mother and we are both lucky to have you."
I touch his forearm and he moves closer, lowering his hand into the warm water and touching my lower stomach. I rest my hand on top of Steve's.
"I think you're right though,"
"About what?", he asks.
"Our lives are complicated. They are dangerous and if we want to keep her safe, it's going to take every single ounce of energy we have. So, you're right. She's it."
He nods. "She's it."
After a moment of comfortable silence, Steve asks,
"What if one day she starts demanding siblings?"
"We'll tell her having children is expensive,"
"What if she inherits my stubbornness and keeps asking?"
I smile at his strange questions. "Then we'll get her a puppy or something."
He laughs. "Angel?"
"Hmm?"
"Is the water still warm?"
I'm not sure how Steve manages to go back to his playful personality so fast after having a very serious conversation, but I'm grateful for it.
"Yes, but it won't be for long, so you better get in now."
"Yes, ma'am."
AN:
Hope you liked that! Okay, so this is where updates may become a little more sparse. I promise to try my best. Hopefully you'll continue following this story and see how it ends. Wishing you a great week, guys!
