Chapter 30: Moving Forward
That morning, Riley woke to Carl's back facing her. It took her a moment to try and remember what happened, but images of yesterday replayed in her mind and she sighed. Dylan had really gotten him riled up and she forced him to eat soup in bed, which eventually led to her falling asleep next to him. This was becoming more of a regular thing and she wasn't going to lie and say she didn't enjoy it. There was something comforting about falling asleep and waking up next to him. She felt safer.
Stretching lightly, she shifted the covers off herself and sat up. He didn't move and continued sleeping on. That was fine. He needed as much rest as possible to recover from his injuries, though he seemed to be doing a lot better now. It was just his spirit that was still low. Maybe she could try and get him outside of the community today. The both of them really did enjoy the woods and freedom beyond the walls.
She checked the clock to see that it was past nine and decided that she needed to get up. There were so many things on her mind and the main one was Dylan. She needed to fix that more than anything, even if she didn't want to. Given the reaction Carl gave yesterday, it was probably better to confront him Carl was sleeping now, it was best to go right away. If he woke, he'd probably look for her.
Sighing gently, she slipped out of the room and headed downstairs. Rick and Michonne were both awake in the kitchen and she smiled a little at the two, stopping in the doorway. They didn't seem to notice her at first but after a moment, Michonne looked up and smiled.
"Morning. You want breakfast?" she asked, causing Rick to turn his head.
She drew in a breath, thinking for a moment before shaking her head. "Not really that hungry. But thanks."
Rick's mouth curved down slightly in worry but he nodded. "You alright?"
"Yeah. Just...not that hungry. When Carl wakes up, just tell him I'll be back soon."
"Alright. Don't be long."
She gave a swift nod and headed to the door, finding her boots and lacing them up quickly. Once she was done, she headed outside and down the steps. It was gorgeous out today and the sun and light breeze made her feel a little but more relaxed about what she was going to do. Maybe she should have changed first, since her shirt felt all grimy and gross, but that could come later.
On the way to the infirmary, she got more nervous and anxious so she decided to take a little detour to try and calm herself down. She trailed around the pond, distracting herself with the ripples of the water as bugs landed and took off from the surface. What was she even going to say? She still didn't feel like she could trust him, but she didn't want to be avoiding him. It was exhausting and she was already fighting enough with survival that fighting with someone like him just seemed too tiring.
For a few more moments, she stared at the water and took deep breaths. She could do this. Even if it reminded her of Tiffany and that horrible day...she could do this. It was in the past now. And she didn't have to trust him. She just had to make peace with him. She was surrounded by people she could trust anyway.
Steeling herself, she took one last look at the pond before turning and heading to her destination. She didn't know if he was even still staying there, but she guessed that he was. If not, she would have to ask around.
But luckily for her, she got about halfway there before he exited the building. He didn't notice her at first so she called out to him.
"Dylan!"
His head snapped toward her and she took a quick inhale. She increased her speed until she caught up with him.
"I...can we talk?" she asked, trying not to sound too timid or intimidated.
But goodness she really was. He regarded her for a moment, his eye slightly narrow. "I thought you didn't want to."
"I just...needed time. Look I'm sorry but you can't expect me to just act like everything was okay after...what happened."
"Would you really expect me to abandon you like that, Riley?"
"Can you just..." She pinched the bridge of her nose, looking around. "Just follow me. I don't want to talk here."
"Fine."
His irritated voice echoed in her ears and she felt her skin tingle with aggravation. She said nothing and led him off toward the pond, figuring it was a good enough place to talk privately in a public area. Once they reached the spot under the cluster of trees where she first taught Eugene to use a knife, she stopped and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You wanted to speak. So speak," he murmured, shooting her a moody look.
"You know what, stop. Ever since you came here, you've acted like such a dick! Can you just actually listen to what I'm telling you for a minute and shut up? Stop being a moody teenager and grow up! You don't know what I had to go through after I left! I don't care if your intentions weren't to leave us. So just shut up, listen for once, and hear what I have to say!" she snapped, chest heaving with frustration.
He stared at her blankly for a moment but she didn't let him even speak. Her sudden frustration gave her the courage to actually speak.
"Even if you didn't intend to leave us behind, it was a stupid move! You didn't even pull the group aside and let us talk about it. And after that, Tiffany died. She was my only friend besides you. And at that time, it didn't seem like you even cared about us! After that, I was alone and... I lost my trust in people. But I found everyone here and... You and I were so close and...it really hurt. Even if you didn't mean it to be that way... I just..."
Riley looked down at the ground, sucking in quick breaths to try and calm herself. but it was no use. The tears were welling up and her chest was beginning to ache. "I don't know if I'll be able to trust you that easily again. But I don't want to be fighting. Just know that it's going to be hard for me..."
A long silence settled between them, but she was too scared to look up and see his reaction.
"Okay. Okay I get it alright? I'm sorry...look I really am, okay? You know my only thought was to protect you? Always? You're my cousin, Riley. Of course I care about you before anyone else. I screwed up, okay? It was hard for me after that. I tried looking for you... I just want to be like we were when we were kids. We were so close..."
She could see that he was struggling to formulate the words and she soaked in everything he said, pressing her lips together. She wanted to believe him. Really, she did. But there was just something she felt that he was holding back. The way he ducked his head and glanced behind him once or twice just screamed there was something he was hiding. She knew him so well, even after the time they had been apart.
She tried to give him a chance to speak, to reveal himself further, but he didn't say a word. So she took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair.
"Okay...okay. I don't...know how long it's going to take to trust you again. I don't know if I can even fully believe you. But we can...start again, maybe," she breathed.
"I can...I can work with that," he agreed, nodding slightly.
It felt like a huge weight lifted off her chest and she was able to breathe properly again. Not fully resolved, but something she could deal with.
After that, the two of them didn't know what to say. They still weren't on great terms but it was a start and an awkward way to try and start conversation.
"So..how did you...meet everyone here? What's that kid's name...?" he asked, peeing at her.
It took her a minute to figure out who he was referring to. "Who, Carl? That's uh...yeah Carl. And I just...ran into them. Me and Carl got separated from his dad and I stuck with them since we got reunited. How did you...get here?"
"The rest of the group we...some died, others ran off... The only thing I had to hold onto was the whisper of a safe place in D.C. So I traveled here. Met a few people along the way but just kept going. And here I am."
He shrugged lightly, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking down at the ground.
"And you...Carl he's...your boyfriend?" he asked after a moment.
Riley was caught off guard by the question and opened her mouth to speak before closing it. "I...yeah I guess? So I mean if you could like...be nice to him that would be...nice..."
She didn't really like the word "boyfriend". There was just something about it that didn't sit right with her. They were so much more than just a label like that.
"And before you defend yourself, you were kinda a jackass," she added.
"Things were different yesterday. And I'll try, I guess... it's just...weird. He's not hurting you, or anything is he?" he forced.
"No he's not. Please don't ever act protective over me. Ever."
She was beginning to get uncomfortable with the topic, so she released a sigh and figured she better head back to the house before Carl came looking for her.
"So I...gotta get back to the house. We'll...talk later," she assured, shooting the tiniest of smiles at him before turning to leave.
Letting out a sigh of relief, she hurried on the street toward the house, only looking back once to see Dylan still standing where she left him. They both said enough to leave the other a lot to think about. Right now, though, she didn't want to. She was determined to spend the rest of the day getting Carl out of the place to do something. Maybe try to get back into shooting a gun or something. It was bound to be difficult given his restricted vision now.
When she got back to the house, Rick and Michonne were gone like she expected. She didn't see Carl in the living room so she grabbed an apple from the kitchen counter and headed up the stairs to see if he was even awake. In his room, he was sitting up and reading another comic.
"Hey. Did you just wake up?" she asked, proceeding to take a bite out of her apple.
"Not too long ago. Where did you go?" he murmured, closing the comic and looking up at her.
"I had to talk to Dylan...kinda get things straight."
"...Oh...? What did you...talk about?"
She glanced over at him to see him looking a little sour.
"Just about how I didn't want to fight with him but...I don't know if I can forgive him for what he did or trust him anymore. It's...really, it's not important. I need you to get out of bed and follow me."
His eyebrow shot up and she crossed her arms over her chest, sighing gently. "Come on, up! Get your boots on, we're going for a walk."
Before he could speak, she grabbed both their guns from the bedside table and marched out of the room. She finished her apple on the way down the stairs and dropped the core in the garbage. Carl didn't take long t get ready and once he came down the stairs, she headed for the door.
"Riley, where are we going?" he asked, putting on his hat.
She had to admit, he looked good in it. He hadn't worn in since the incident. "You'll see."
"I'm not supposed to go out of the community yet."
"You'll be fine. I'm with you."
She shot a smirk back at him and continued forward, heading straight for the front gates. Father Gabriel was on watch and he turned to watch the two approaching.
"Hello. Should Carl be resting?" Gabriel asked, folding his hands.
"I'm just bringing him on a walk. Won't be long. Thanks, Gabriel," she answered, not giving him much room to argue.
He merely gave her a polite smile and nod before opening the gate for them. She returned the smile and then led the way through the gate, veering off toward the woods.
"Really, where are we going?" he asked again, catching up and falling into step with her.
"Shooting. Figure you need to get back into the swing of it."
She could feel the air get a little tense and she knew that it might be difficult for him. He was going to be vulnerable in front of her for once. Even so, she got it. So many times before she had been vulnerable for him. It was hard and she hated it, but he'd been right there for her. So she was going to be right there for him.
Sighing gently, she continued to walk, letting him have some space so he could think about what she just said. She bumped him on the shoulder lightly just to let him know that she was there for him, but her only response was the crunch of leaves beneath his feet. He was still hesitant.
It didn't take much longer for them to reach the clearing where Rick had showed her yesterday and she stopped across from the target, taking out his gun from her jeans and handing it over to him. He took it gingerly, looking down at it. His fingers traced over the handle and he flipped it over a few times. She could see the struggle in his gaze. He knew that shooting was going to prove difficult for him.
"Aim and shoot. And then we'll see where we can go from there," she said, taking a step back to allow him the room.
He looked back at her, biting the inside of his cheek. "I don't really-"
"No," she interrupted, nearing him. "You have to. What if your dad was in a group of walkers? What if you were the only one there to help. You have to do this."
Carefully, she adjusted his grip on the gun, placing his hands and fingers in the right places to make it easier. Once she was done, she took a step back and pressed a hand to his shoulder, watching him carefully. He took a deep breath and raised the gun, his arms tensing slightly as he did so.
She waited. Waited until he was comfortable. She didn't push him any further. This first shot would be the hardest and she already got him to the starting point. It was all on him now.
After what felt like forever, he finally pulled the trigger. The gun stayed firmly in his hands and his form was perfect as it had always been, but his aim was what was wrong. The bullet missed the tree by a good few feet. And as soon as he saw how badly he missed, his shoulders dropped and the gun fell from his fingers, landing softly in the leaves at his feet.
"Hey, it's alright. That was your first shot since. It'll get easier. You just have to adjust and keep practicing. Learn to shoot all over again. Everything was good except your aim," she assured, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
He closed his eye and dipped his head, heaving a sigh. "I know... it just feels like... a part of me is gone and it's making everything harder... I just want to...go back to the way it was."
She rested her chin on his arm and nodded slightly, trailing her fingers down his arm until she got to his hand. She laced their fingers together to reassure him.
"I know. And I wish that none of it ever happened, believe me... I was a...wreck when it happened. But we can move forward now. Or at least try to. You were there for me and I'll be here for you. You can do it."
He turned his head slightly and rested his cheek against her forehead. After a long moment, he breathed out, "okay."
Carefully prying himself away from her, he bent down to pick up the gun again. She moved back to give him space and came up behind him, taking a peek down the barrel of the gun to see where his aim was exactly. It was more to the left, probably because it was where his vision was channeled now.
"Aim more right. And a little down. Yeah, there," she instructed.
"You sure?" he asked, sounding uncertain.
"Yeah. It probably looks weird to you, but I think you're aiming more left than you should be. Go ahead and try."
He nodded and refocused himself, letting a moment pass before firing. The bullet skimmed the edge of the tree, right at the outer part of the target. She smiled a little.
"See? I think you just have to readjust your aim more right and down. Try again."
This time, she didn't guide him to where he needed to shoot. She let him figure it out on his own given her instructions. Like before, he adjusted his aim more right and down. The bullet didn't hit the target, but it was significantly closer to the tree than the first time he shot.
He clenched his jaw and tried again, getting a little closer once more. She smiled and crossed her arms, feeling satisfied that he was correcting himself each time. All it would take was time and practice again.
"Riley...what did Dylan do to you? Before...?" he asked suddenly, lowering the gun and looking over his shoulder at her.
She was taken aback by the question and stared at him for a minute as it processed in her brain. This whole time, she talked about Dylan doing something but she never told him what. And he knew about her parents already so...well maybe she should just let him know now anyway. She trusted him more than anyone in the world right now.
"He...Well he abandoned me and my friend. After our group split...we came upon another. They had food. Supplies. My friend was really sick from her injuries. Blood infection, something like that. But the group...you know I said the hunters? The ones that didn't allow girls and kids in their group? They didn't want us. And our leader, Evan...he already decided that they were going to leave us. I thought Dylan would be on my side...but he wasn't. He left us and then...Tiffany she..."
Her shoulders sagged and she pressed her lips together, pushing the memories out of her mind.
"He said to me when he came here that he was going to try and steal stuff from them and bring it to us. But he never said anything before they left. I did kinda explode on him but...we never talked it out," she finished.
"Wow...sounds like a dick move," he murmured, the muscles in his cheek tightening as he clenched his jaw.
"It was. And I told him that."
"So you two...were close? How long have you...known him?"
"All my life. You know I was trying to tell you earlier, but you were upset so-"
"Did you...like him, Riley? You know... um..."
He scratched the back of his neck and the words hit her like a ton of bricks. Did he just...? Laughter bubbled from her throat and she bent over, clutching her stomach.
"What!? It was a serious question!" he defended, his face turning a bright red.
She tried to control her laughter but it was too difficult. Had he been jealous this whole time? Was it why he got so defensive yesterday?
"Oh my gosh, Carl... he's my cousin," she snickered, covering her mouth to try and stifle her laughter. "That's what I tried to tell you yesterday."
His face went completely blank and she peered at him through her hair, trying not to laugh as she watched his whole world shift through the look in his eye.
"Oh...," he breathed.
"Yeah he's...my dad's brother's son. So, cousin. You weren't...jealous, were you?" she prodded, smirking.
"No! No, I just didn't..."
"Getting a little defensive there, are we?"
His face ignited once more and he ducked his head to try and hide his blush. She snorted and shook her head in amusement.
"Hey, it's alright. You're kinda cute when you're all defensive and jealous," she added.
He turned to face her with a raised eyebrow and poked her in the side accusingly. "You still could have told me. Even if I was upset."
Instinctively, she flinched at the poke, taking a step back and cradling her side. "I tried! I didn't want to make you upset about talking about him!"
His gaze left her face and fell on her stomach, where she was holding her side. Immediately, she backed away and straightened up. No way. Not happening on her watch.
"And I'm guessing you're cute when you're all ticklish," he sniggered, dropping his gun and lunging forward.
She ducked behind and tree, barely dodging his fingers. "Don't you dare!"
Her voice came out in a hiss, mostly because she was not going to start squealing in laughter because of Carl Grimes. He continued after her, but she weaved in and out of the trees, successfully dodging him until he faked her out and appeared right in front of her. She tried to skid to a stop but it was too late.
His hands gripped her waist and he pulled her to his chest to restrain her. Once she was secure, he reached down and dug his fingers into her sides. Laughter exploded out of her lips and she squirmed, trying to break free.
"S-stop!" she heaved, trying not to laugh but failing miserably.
"Not just yet!" he snickered, adjusting his grip on her to try and keep her from squirming.
She slipped from his grasp just for a second, ducking down to scramble across the ground on all fours. But she only got away for a second and he grabbed her again, this time flipping her onto her back so he could get to her sides.
"Stop!" she squealed, unable to contain herself as his fingers danced across her stomach.
"No way!" he laughed, digging his fingers further into her ticklish spots.
Writhing and gasping for breath, she pushed against him, trying to free herself but it was no use. Every time she squirmed and wriggled, his grip just got stronger and stronger. Probably because of how weak she was from laughing and how jelly-like her muscles were from contracting. Oxygen always seemed to taunt her every time she tried to take in a breath, but it only remained on her lips, never entering her lungs properly until he finally let up.
Gasping, she laughed until her sides ached. Carl bent his head on her shoulder and laughed too. Needless to say, they didn't really get in any more shooting practice after that.
A/N: I'm a rubbish updater. I seriously was going to have this up by 8 tonight but...well I started to finish off a scene and sooner or later, I'd written another 1,000 words. Oops xD Anyway, so happy I could update again this week! Spring break gave me the time to write. Hopefully I can keep this up. This is the last filler chapter before the main events that I have planned. I'm pretty sure no one will be expecting it (hopefully, anyway xD) and it's going to be insane. So I had to get the last bit of fluff in before then.
What do you guys think of Dylan? What's he hiding? Maybe some of the rest of the group is still alive? ;) who knows? I'd love to hear your speculations! How did you think Riley reacted to their talk? Good? Bad? In between? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'm soooo thankful for you guys reading! Thanks soooo much for all your lovely reviews and favorites! We're slowly becoming one of the most reviewed Carl x Oc stories on the site! :D And that's all thanks to you guys, my loyal fans!
I hope you all have an awesome week and hopefully see you next Sunday for the next update! :)
