Chapter 33: Hanging On By a Thread

Riley woke in a deep sweat. Part of her wondered if she was even alive. The world around her felt so bizarre and different. She felt like she couldn't even move if she tried. Sweat trickled down her forehead and a shiver crawled up her spine. What was even happening? Her vision was mostly clear but her body was stiff and uncomfortable. Both hot and cold. A fever? From what exactly?

She moved, slow since her body wouldn't allow any other speed, and did her best to sit up. Her muscles ached and she felt her stomach lurch uncomfortably as she sat up. Where was she again? She hated the feeling of being disoriented. This was the second time she had woken up not knowing where she was.

She realized she was in a big truck in the middle of someone's yard. A small neighborhood surrounded her and she blinked groggily, trying to remember exactly what happened last night. Bits and pieces came to her slowly and she was able to put it all together after a few moments of effort. After she escaped from those guys, she drove until she found a place she could settle down. She ended up finding a neighborhood and passed out not too long after that. To her luck, no one had found her yet and she was hopefully far from being found by them again.

It seemed to be about midday judging by the sun's position, so she had a little while to look around for supplies before she went to sleep. She didn't particularly want to go to sleep after she had been sleeping for so long but her body was craving it and traveling by night would be on the dangerous side. How could she be so tired?

Riley retrieved the keys from the ignition and put them in her pocket for safe-keeping. She took the rifle that she stole along with the knife and slowly scooted out of the truck. Landing a bit roughly on her feet, she winced and bent over, pressing a hand to her side. She still hadn't been able to stitch it up so it had likely opened up again several times over the course of the excitement yesterday.

Gingerly, she took a peek at the injury and grimaced. The whole area was severely red and white globs of pus lined each side of the skin around it. Damn, it was infected. That's probably why she was feeling so sick and feverish right now. Medicine and sutures was what she needed to find more than anything else. Right now would be a great time for her to find the group.

With careful steps, she started toward the nearest house. From the outside, it looked pretty run-down and was likely already raided, but who knew what still lay inside. So she climbed up the stairs of the porch and knocked feebly on the door. She waited, pressing her ear to the wood to see if she could hear anything but it was quiet. Hopefully there wouldn't be any hidden walkers. She didn't have the strength to really fend one off with a knife and her rifle was too hard for close range.

She carefully entered the house, finding it a complete disaster as soon as she stepped foot inside. Books and papers were strewn everywhere, some clothes and utensils and other odd objects among the mix as well. A feverish shiver ran through her body and she brought her hands up to rub her arms as she trekked further inside. The first place she checked was the kitchen. Most of the drawers were emptied, but in the very back of one of the cabinets was a lone water bottle, unopened.

She nearly cried out in relief and snatched it up, taking a big mouthful and then saving the rest for later. It tasted like heaven on her tongue and it made her body feel slightly strengthened.

From the kitchen, she moved on to the rest of the rooms. It was a single story house connected by one hallway, so the living room was next. She only found a few blankets, but considering how cold (and hot) she was feeling, she figured it wouldn't hurt to take a few. The rest of the house was clean except for a very expired bottle of painkillers with only three pills sitting in the bottom. She took one immediately, figuring it would also help the fever to go down, but until she got real antibiotics to kill the infection in her wound, it would only alleviate the symptoms.

She continued on through the house one more time before she decided to move to the next. After knocking on the door, she realized that there were several walkers inside. Pounding on the door made her take a step back and she pressed her lips together as growls and groans emerged from the other side. Not a house she wanted to go into in her state.

Moving on, she went to three other houses before she found something that could really be of use. She found a few bits of food here and there but not enough to really last for more than a day. But in this house, she found a sewing kit. Thread for clothes wasn't the ideal material for stitches, but it was what she had to work with. Even better, she found out that the gas stove worked so she could use the heat to sterilize the needle and hopefully prevent further infection.

With all of the supplies she needed, she turned on the gas stove and prepared the needle. She knew what stitches felt like but something told her this was going to be her most painful stitching yet. So she wiped away the gross pus and dirt from around the wound and then prepared everything else.

First, she threaded the needle with an ample amount of the strongest thread she could find. Once it was threaded, she placed the metal needle on the coils of the hot stove to hopefully kill any bacteria on it. While it was heating up, she carefully removed her shirt, the sticky sweat making it a bit difficult to peel it off. She set it aside and then pulled the needle from the coils.

With trembling hands, she pressed the sharp end of the needle against the skin of her stomach. She steeled herself and then dug the sharp point in. Even though she tried to prepare herself for the pain, it was a lot worse than she expected. As soon as the needle got halfway, a pained noise sprung from the back of her throat and she leaned heavily on the counter, tears gushing from her eyes. She only allowed herself a moment to pause before she continued. Each time the needle pierced her skin, it stung badly enough to leave her winded and gasping for breath. Oxygen seemed to avoid her until she got to the very end of the wound.

By then, her head was spinning and her muscles seemed to be locked tightly over her bones. She drew in a shaky breath and tied the thread off as best as she could. She waited until the world around her cleared to look at her handy work. Probably not the best, but at least the edges were together

Riley put on her shirt and collected the rest of the sewing kit in case she would need it again and headed back to the truck. After all of that energy, she was exhausted and wanted to take a short break before she headed back on the road. As soon as she crawled into the truck, she laid across the seats and curled up on her side. She never intended to close her eyes and fall asleep, but as soon as her eyes grew heavy, she fell right asleep.


This time, Riley woke knowing where she was. It was slightly dark outside so she wasn't sure whether it was morning or night or even how long she had been sleeping. But she knew that she was starving because her stomach was stabbing her insides. She remembered that she'd gotten a little bit of food before when she went looking through the neighborhood and reached down to where she placed it on the floor. Grabbing a bit of cereal, she ate what was left of it and crumpled up the bag.

She still felt sore and feverish, so she took a look down at her wound again. Some pus was oozing between the stitches and it was more red and swollen than it had been before. She needed medicine badly.

A shiver went through her body and she peered out the window to try and get a better reading on what time it was. Her eyes widened when she saw the street now littered with walkers. Where did they even come from? It wasn't enough to be a herd, but it was likely that they had all come together. None of them noticed her and they wouldn't as long as she stayed put and didn't get out of the truck.

Carefully, she laid back down, trying to figure out what she was going to do. She had already been sleeping a long time and she couldn't afford to waste time sitting around. She needed to find antibiotics or get back to Alexandria to get some. It was likely she could get away without them blocking her way. Maybe she should just go for it?

Fumbling with the keys in her pocket, she took them and put them in the ignition just as she heard a cry for help. She blinked, pausing and listening for a moment as she heard the yells and screams.

"Please! Help, someone help!"

The growls grew louder and she dared to take a peek. Through the windshield, she could see two women cornered against one of the houses with a small circle of the dead surrounding them. Should she even attempt to get out there and go help? She desperately wanted to do something, but the logical part of her brain was telling her that she was too weak to put one hair outside the truck. But how could she stand by? She would be letting them die.

Her hand rested on the door handle and she paused as images flashed through her head. Images of her and Carl. Images of her and the Rhee's. How could she so carelessly throw herself out there when she had a family to get back to. The one thing she had wanted so badly since her real family died. She had one now and it was selfish to stand by when she was capable of doing something...but she cared more about her family than two random strangers.

She pulled her hand away from the handle and drew in a breath as the real screaming started. The kind of screaming only heard when someone was being ripped apart piece by piece. She shivered, closing her eyes and trying not to imagine the hungry, dead fingers tearing open organs.

A few minutes later, the screaming had died down and she took a quick look, noting that the walkers had cleared the street to feast. Now was a good chance to leave. So she started up the truck and kept her eyes ahead as she shakily drove away and out of the neighborhood, trying not to feel guilty. But she couldn't drown the overwhelming guilt that caved in on her.

Keeping her eyes on the road, she drove until she came to a sign that showed the various directions for different cities. D.C. was the closest to Alexandria and it seemed she had ventured pretty far. It would probably take her a couple hours to get there and find familiar turf. She checked the fuel gauge and noted that it was getting pretty close to empty. The only thing she could do was drive and hope that she got there before she ran out of gas.

So she turned left and drove at a decent pace, following the road signs and mile markers as she got onto Route 236 and headed home as fast as she felt comfortable. Sometimes, she would nearly run into several roadblocks, but took the time to go around them. Many of the roadblocks had walkers creeping around, but she usually left before they could even notice her.

She was able to get a few hours of driving before the inevitable happened; the truck ran out of gas. The vehicle came to a stuttering stop nearby a town by the name of Fairfax, at least according to the exit that she was closest to. However, there was also something notable on the sign that made her perk up slightly. Fairfax Hospital. Hospital meant antibiotics. Antibiotics meant no more infection.

Usually, avoiding the cities was the best possible way to go, but she both needed medicine and gas or another car. Plus, it was starting to get dark and she didn't feel comfortable staying in the truck on the side of a major road. Being so out in the open was dangerous, especially if those men she ran into before were still looking for her. The best she could do was wander to the outer parts of the city and rest until morning, when she could head to the hospital and try to get something if there was even anything left. Hopefully it wasn't full of walkers, either.

So she got out of the truck and headed down the road, her muscles stiff and sore. To an onlooker, she might look like a walker. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Hopefully a good thing.

With the sun slowly setting, she hurried down the road and past some houses and convenient stores. Though they were tempting, she definitely wanted to head straight to the hospital.

Each step she took was harder and more difficult and she felt her overheated body shiver. The signs leading to the hospital became more frequent and soon, she was standing outside of the hospital with a horde of walkers creeping around the parking lot. That was really problematic. Plus it seemed like several doors and windows were boarded up. Damn. How was she going to get past all of them? In her state, she'd keel over before a walker even laid a finger on her.

Blinking the burning sensation from her eyes, she pressed her hands to her temples and thought hard. It was dark and the sun barely stood out over the horizon, but she was scared if she didn't do this now, she wouldn't be able to move on. She was already stumbling over her feet and everything was so dizzy that she thought she could barely stand. And the fever raging in her body had only seemed to grow worse, making her sweat drip down her back and neck.

If she was going to die, she was going to die fighting.

Riley slowly stumbled forward toward a car, taking a moment to crouch down next to it. She nearly had a heart attack when she heard a growl nearby. Her head snapped to the left and she saw a walker reaching for her out of the open car door, still strapped into the seat belt. Taking out her knife, she quickly jabbed it in the head and it fell limp. One down, a thousand more to go.

No way was she going to be able to kill them all. She needed to sneak by... Wait. Just like that night...the night Carl got shot. She could cover herself in blood and guts. She could walk right through them, no problem, and get the medicine.

Relief flooded in her body and she rested her head against the car door, a quiet laugh escaping her lips. She was just so ready to stop feeling like she couldn't move a muscle without sweating and that her muscles were made of jelly.

Carefully, she peeled herself off the door and opened it up, scooting in the back seat and taking a breath. With the bloody knife, she began to hack the fabric of the seat off so she could use it to cover herself. It took a lot of effort and by the time she was done, she was wiping sweat as it dripped down her nose. Finally, she cut a hole in the center for her head to go through and then slipped it over herself. It covered most of her body with her hands being able to poke out and the fabric ending at her knees.

She checked to see if any other walkers were nearby but she was lucky as she was on the outskirts of the parking lot. With quick, shaky fingers, she unbuckled the walker from the seat and pulled it to the pavement. Time for the gross part...

Again, using her knife, she stabbed it in the stomach of the dead walker, gritting her teeth as the blade easily tore through the decayed muscle and bones. She tore through it over and over until she got a good opening to the guts. Trying not to gag, she reached in and began to pull some of the nauseating organs out to rub all over herself. She set the knife aside and resorted to pulling everything apart with her hands to make it a bit easier.

The smell was overwhelming and combined with her feverish state it made her want to throw up, but she pushed past the feeling and continued to roll the gore all over her until she was completely covered and disgustingly smelly. Once it was out of the way, she picked her knife back up, adjusted the rifle on her shoulder - just in case - and stood to her feet.

With the little strength she had left, she trudged forward toward the large mass of moving dead in front of the hospital door. It was really hard to see where she was going, but she had to trust that this would work again and that she put enough gore on herself to get through safely. It seemed to be working as she entered the very beginning of the horde. Dark bodies shuffled around her and she maintained a slow and steady pace as she went through.

Her stomach remained in her throat the entire time, but none of them ever even blinked at her. However, the front door was blocked off so she needed to head around to see if she could find anything. So with careful steps, she continued around, following the outline of the brick wall of the hospital until she came upon a window that was shattered. The herd had thinned out slightly and she used this opportunity to try and climb through.

Everything was going fine until halfway over her body decided that it was out of strength and she couldn't pull herself up all the way. She struggled, trying to heave over without making too much noise. Her hand slipped from the surface and she fell inside on her back, a grunt coming from her lips.

Riley opened her eyes and nearly screamed. A walker had noticed something off about her and crouched down to look at her, its face mere inches from hers. She tried not to move or make a single sound and simply stared up at it, waiting in agony as it placed its hands on her torso and growled. A moment passed by, then two, and finally...finally, it pulled away. She didn't even get a chance to breathe. Nothing about her could seem different than them and there was another one staggering around by the doorway.

As carefully as she could, she got to her feet, eyes locked on the looming figures nearby. Her heart pounded rapidly in her chest, filling her ears with nothing but the heavy thrums one after the other. The stunt was a close call and she felt like she was about to pass out, but she got out of it just fine. The quicker she could find the pharmacy, the better.

The hallway wasn't too crowded but still much more than she would care for. She passed a sign that indicated the pharmacy was downstairs a level and she crept through the door to the stairway, stopping as soon as the door shut and left her in complete darkness. Something in the air made her shiver and she carefully reached out to find the handrail. The first step forward was a leap of faith and she nearly tripped, but steadied herself and started to descend.

Nothing stopped her from getting to the door to the next floor and she squeezed through the doors. Her eyes darted to the map on the wall and she figured out that the pharmacy was a few halls down, so she began to go, mindfully avoiding any more dead that passed by. So far, she was going strong, but she felt a little lightheaded and picked up the pace just slightly. The easiness of getting into the hospital was offset by the trouble she saw in front of her once she reached the pharmacy. The door was blocked with three wooden planks nailed to keep people out. She couldn't see any dead inside, but trying to pry them off with the dead nearby would be tricky.

She could use her knife, but if that failed, she wasn't sure what to do without drawing more attention than she wanted.

Pressing her lips together, she pulled the knife out and got closer to the door, making slow movements to not alert any of the dead nearby. Sliding the blade underneath the head of the nail, she began to pry carefully and slowly. Each wiggle loosened it further until it popped out. One down, eleven more to go.

She got one board successfully removed and set it aside when the walkers seemed to notice something different. Drawing in a shaky breath, she stood still for a moment, keeping her eye on them as they wandered a bit closer. They had to sense something was wrong, but not seeing anything happening, they drifted off again, minding their own business and listening for any more unusual sounds.

Riley could feel her body begin to quiver and shake with the stress pushed on her. So this time she moved a little quicker to remove the second board, waited a few moments, and then moved on to the final one. Desperation clawed at her insides and she pulled the last board off, not waiting a minute more and opening up the door to get inside. She closed it hastily behind herself and locked it just in case before she turned to face the shelves.

That were all empty.

She felt like she could scream.

This was the end of the road for her. She thought that she would be able to get back home in one piece, maybe with some scars, but she still thought it. She was a fighter and not a quitter and this...this was exhausting. Everything she tried to do to get back home, to get back to him, had proved pointless. The truck ran out of gas. The medicines weren't here. She was going to die of a damn infection.

Tears began to trail down her cheeks and she collapsed to her knees, trying not to sob loudly as all of these emotions and realizations hit her at once. She bent forward to rest her forehead on the cool tile floor, tears dripping off her nose like the sweat had been all day. She didn't want to die. Not after she had experienced all of the love and trust she had built with this new family. Of course she would die for them, but this...this was a cruel fate that jumped on her out of nowhere.

She didn't know how long she had been crying for or how she had even gotten to the point where she was just laying on the floor, but the reflection of something caught her eye. Sniffling and wiping her eyes dry, she turned her head to look.

Tucked underneath one of the cabinets on the floor and out of sight was a bottle. A bottle! Her hand latched out onto it and she fumbled with it to try and read the label.

...penicillin.

More tears flooded her vision and she let out a laugh - a genuine laugh. Maybe the sun was just shining down on her today. Luck didn't last forever but...with this...this would help her survive.

Weakly, she got to her feet, wobbling as she opened drawers and cabinets for any signs of needles. In the back of one of the drawers was a whole stash of sterile needles all wrapped up and she grabbed onto one, tearing open the plastic and then ripping off the cap with her teeth. The bottle of penicillin was about half-full and she took a quick look to see the amount she needed before filling up the needle. Clutching the bottle tightly, she sat down on the ground with her back against a cabinet and proceeded to jab the needle into her shoulder.

All of the stress and anxiety weighing on her shoulders lifted in an instant and she dropped the needle to the floor, gasping in relief. The fear had left her and sudden exhaustion hit her. She did it. She could keep going.

Those were the last thoughts she had before she passed out right in the middle of the floor.


A/N: Ahhh it's been too long! I missed working on this, but updating less frequently in the summer means I can stay pace with the show. Stilll, I missed delving into Riley's mind all month! This was a nice refresher for me. Anyway, this chapter was a lot less activity than the last two. Things slowed down in this chapter for more character development but will pick up a ton in the next few chapters. I'm not sure how long I'm going to have it until Riley returns, but it's going to be at least 3 more chapters, hopefully two if I can cram everything in. If any of you have played The Last of Us, you might notice I've taken a few inspirations from the game for this and the next few chapters. If you haven't played, I totally recommend!

But thank you guys for sticking with the story through the prolonged updates and thank you so much for your lovely reviews and favorites! I always love hearing from you guys! Since I do want to interact a bit more with you all, feel free to PM me if you wanna chat about the fic or anything else! I usually respond to all reviews posted by members (since I can't reply to guests), but if you wanna just talk about random things or even The Walking Dead, PM me and I'll be down to chat with you! :)

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and again, thank you guys for being the best readers! :)