A/N: my kink is Raven and Luna taking turns taking care of one another.
Eventually, Raven had gotten fed up with her little foray into the wonders of meditation and disengaged her hands from Luna's - a tad more reluctantly than she would have liked. Retreating to the other end of the bed, she picked up her tablet to run through the details of her 'controlled crash' plan once more. No matter how many times she went over it, though, the truth remained the same: there was no way to pull it off without that missing barrel.
She'd expected Luna to leave but instead she settled back against the wall, closed her eyes and continued to meditate on her own. Raven suspected it was probably more peaceful without her constant interruptions and snark.
It must have been. Because when she looked up about twenty minutes later, it was to find that Luna had completely slumped into the wall, her features slack.
"Luna?"
No response and the steady rise and fall of her chest was telling.
She was asleep.
Horribly awkward position to be asleep in. Raven grimaced. Her body would probably hurt like hell for it tomorrow. She was all too familiar with what that was like.
Her gaze returned to the screen before darting back to Luna a moment later.
Ah, hell.
Hesitantly, Raven shifted along the bed towards her, wincing as the motion pulled at her hip. Her eyes were drawn to the needle still sticking out of Luna's arm, noting that the bag was pretty much full by now.
By Raven's estimation, she'd donated more than enough for one day - considering she'd been doing this every day.
Removing it would probably wake her, though, not to mention that Raven didn't know how to remove it. Not correctly. She should probably get Abby for that.
All in good time.
First, she needed to make Luna at least a little more comfortable because that angle was ouch. Hesitantly, she reached out and touched her shoulders, preparing for her to spring back into consciousness - and possibly knock Raven out in the process (she'd done that to Wick once, a memory that proved slightly less horrifying after their disastrous breakup).
Nothing happened.
Okay, so far so good.
Slowly, she maneuvered Luna onto her side, careful of the tubing attached to her, mindful to ensure that the arm with the needle in it remained on top. This went at a relative snail pace but soon enough, she had Luna lying on the bed and looking, in her opinion, much more comfortable.
Score one-hundred-and-ten for the first Zero-G Mechanic with a heart defect!
How she hadn't woken up during the process was a mystery to Raven, though.
She had a feeling Luna was normally a light sleeper, that life had probably trained her to be. Which suggested that she was a lot more tired than she'd let on. Maybe Raven wasn't the only one who'd been dealing with insomnia as of late.
But that wasn't her problem.
Luna could handle her own shit, just like everyone else. She didn't need Raven to hold her hand.
Even if they were really nice hands.
This close, she was struck by that same earthy smell from earlier, only now she thought she could detect a tang of mint. Raven hadn't decided yet if she liked it or not, only that it was unfamiliar - and kind of irritating since she couldn't place it for the life of her.
Sighing, she brushed some stray curls off Luna's mouth and nose - the last thing they needed was for her to choke in her sleep. This had the slight downside - or upside, depending on how you wanted to look at it - of fully revealing Luna's face to her and. . .
Well, it would be a lie to say she wasn't pretty.
Beautiful, actually.
Possibly the most beautiful person Raven had ever seen.
Barring herself, of course - she wasn't about to give up that title without a fight.
But what caught her attention the most was how peaceful she looked. 'Peaceful' was a descriptor that could be applied to Luna often but, for as long as Raven had known her, there had always been an element of strain about it. Like she was trying a little too hard to hold onto something that had already been lost.
These weren't peaceful days they were living, and Luna hadn't been spared the consequences of that.
But right now she actually looked at peace. Real peace.
The kind, Raven supposed, that only sleep could grant. There was none of it to be found in the waking hours. Not of late.
Raven hoped she was having good dreams. One of them should be.
"Good, Raven, you're up. How are you feeling?"
Startled, she tore her gaze away from Luna to see Abby entering the room. The doctor was staring at the tablet in her hands and probably hadn't taken more than a fleeting glance of the room and its occupants.
Raven wondered whether she'd managed to get any sleep herself.
Which drew her attention back to Luna. Who was, thankfully, still blissfully unaware of her surroundings.
Damn. You really must be tired.
"Shh," Raven hissed, perhaps a little too harshly from the way Abby flinched before looking up. "She's only just gotten to sleep."
Raven was sure to keep her voice low, barely above a whisper, but even that felt too loud.
She couldn't explain but right now nothing mattered to her more than making sure that Luna's sleep remained undisturbed. Raven knew how much it hurt to leave the land of sweet oblivion and wake up in a nightmare. She wanted to Luna as much time as possible before she was forced through that same, violent transition.
It was the least Raven owed her after what she'd done for her today.
Abby frowned a moment in confusion before her gaze finally landed on the sleeping woman and understanding dawned, along with a faint trace of amusement. "She was supposed to be watching you sleep, not the other way around."
Raven rolled her eyes. "That's kind of creepy but okay. And she did her job, don't worry, she made sure I was fine before passing out."
Better than fine. She'd taken a keen interest in ensuring that Raven's mental state was as well as her physical - which wasn't all that hard, considering her physical sucked - hence the meditation.
As irritating as it was, she kind of admired Luna's tenacity.
She was stubborn.
Raven liked that.
Even if she'd prefer it wasn't directed at her.
Abby smiled briefly before her eyes traveled to the blood bag. "I wasn't worried about that. She seemed very keen to be your bodyguard, and quite concerned about your wellbeing. I think she likes you."
It was meant to be only a passing tease - and Abby certainly hadn't meant it in the way Raven was taking it - but she couldn't help the flush that rose up her neck. "She likes everyone."
Raven wasn't sure if that was true, but she liked Murphy of all people so that made her doubt there was anyone on the planet who could earn her dislike if he couldn't.
Abby hummed with a small secretive smile that ate away at her nerves before coming over, eyes scanning Luna and stopping once more on the blood bag. "I need to take this out."
She at least sounded a little regretful about it.
Raven sighed. "She only just got to sleep."
"I know. But I need to do it." She sent Raven a small reassuring smile that didn't quite reach her eyes - none of her smiles did these days. "I'll be as gentle as possible and try not to wake her."
Well, it wasn't like it was Raven's decision to make. Reluctantly, she shifted back down the bed so Abby could have greater access to Luna, watching closely as she went through the motions of clamping the tubing and removing the bag.
The needle she kept till last.
Raven held her breath as she first undid the tourniquet from Luna's arm before her fingers found the needle. Luna winced slightly as she pulled it out and Raven bit her lip.
Nothing happened for a breath.
Then Luna's snapped open.
Raven had a split second to register the alarm there before she sprang back, away from Abby. Except, cornered on the bed with her back against the wall, there wasn't anywhere to go.
Thunk.
Raven winced at the sound of Luna's head hitting the hard surface. That was going to leave a mark.
It would be just their luck if they ended up giving the only nightblood left in existence brain damage.
Especially when they'd already done that to the last nightblood they'd encountered.
Then there was everything that had happened with Lexa. From what she'd heard, the Commander's death had more than a little bit to do with the massacre committed by Raven's own people.
Huh. Maybe it was a good thing there weren't any other nightbloods left for them to take a swing at.
Wisely, Abby had taken several steps back the moment Luna moved, holding her hands up in the universal sign of surrender or peace.
Wide-eyed and breathing heavily, she wasn't sure Luna had the presence of mind to understand the gesture.
So maybe taking the needle out without waking her first had been a bad idea.
Terrible, actually.
They'd been trying to be kind but, well. . .
This was a horrible way to wake up.
"Luna? It's cool, it's just us."
She whipped her head around at the sound of Raven's voice, eyes still too wide but starting to show some level of clarity. That clarity grew as she focused on Raven, the sharp rise and fall of her chest starting to slow as the seconds ticked by.
"You okay?" Raven asked after about a minute had passed. She was trying not to look at the thin trail of black now oozing down Luna's arm. They could deal with that after she'd calmed down.
A moment later, Luna nodded, seemingly still not ready for words.
"Luna?"
Her head turned so fast when Abby spoke that Raven swore she heard something crack.
"I need to look at your arm. You're bleeding and I need to make sure that the needle didn't do any damage to the vein when I was taking it out and you, well. . ."
Yeah, they really should have woken Luna up first.
Welp, Raven had learnt her lesson. No taking needles out of sleeping natblida's arms. Didn't end well.
The lack of comprehension was obvious in Luna's gaze and she suspected her brain was still thick with sleep - and terror. Hesitantly, Raven shuffled closer and reached out to touch her hand. "Luna?"
She flinched but stilled under her touch a moment later, head turning and taking Raven in.
"You're bleeding." She nodded at her arm. "Abby needs to take a look."
Luna closed her eyes and took a breath, collecting herself. After a moment, she nodded and opened them again, turning back to Abby in invitation.
The doctor smiled at her and approached with some gauze and alcohol swabs. "Sorry for the rude awakening."
"It's fine." Her voice cracked slightly, though, and Raven suspected it wasn't.
In that brief moment before awareness had found Luna, she'd looked scared.
The guilt swirled in Raven's gut but she stubbornly pushed it aside. Not now. She didn't have time to feel guilty. About anything.
If she started, she'd never stop.
Silence enveloped the room for a time as both Luna and Raven watched Abby's movements with avid attention.
"It looks fine," she declared after cleaning the blood off Luna's arm and reaching for the gauze and cotton wool pad to seal it up. "No damage that I can see. And the bleeding's not too severe. It should stop soon as long as you keep pressure on it."
"It's fine," Luna repeated, obediently placing a hand over the cotton wool to apply pressure. "I've had far worse."
Yeah, that really wasn't as comforting as she might think.
Luna's gaze wandered to Raven and she smiled slightly, though it was weaker than usual. "Sorry for falling asleep on you. And stealing your bed."
She waved that away. "It was fine. Your snores were amusing, anyway." That was a lie. Luna didn't snore. In fact, it was almost creepy how quiet she was.
Luna's eyes narrowed slightly as if she'd detected the lie, amusement shimmering a moment there, but she said nothing. "Mm."
"Well, I think we should all try to get some more sleep," Abby said, packing up her things before looking up at the clock on the wall. "We still have, oh, an hour and a half before morning. More than enough time."
Raven groaned and collapsed back on the bed. "I've had all the sleep I can handle." Her hip was aching something fierce so she knew shutting her eyes and getting some Zzzs was no longer an option.
Luna's gaze was knowing. "You haven't slept at all. You were unconscious."
She waved the comment away. "Same thing."
Abby sighed, though there was some amusement in her eyes. "As a doctor, I can tell you it's most definitely not."
Luna and Raven shared a smile.
"Tell Luna meditation doesn't count as sleep, either."
Luna rolled her eyes and Raven resisted the urge to poke her tongue out. Considering she'd seen Luna meditating far more than she'd seen her sleeping in the weeks she'd known her, she felt it was something that needed to be said.
Abby heaved a long-suffering sigh. "No-one told me trying to save the world was mostly going to consist of babysitting you two."
Luna looked mildly offended. "I've been on my best behavior."
Uh-huh. She'd damn near stolen their only boat and left them to the mercy of murderous drones.
"What's you on your worst behavior then?" Raven teased.
She smiled secretly. "Pray you don't find out."
Well, that wasn't threatening at all.
Abby, finally having finished packing up her things, sent them both a warning look. "Please try and get some sleep. Both of you."
Raven saluted her whilst Luna blinked placidly. Sighing, Abby gave up and left.
"I have to ask," Luna started, moments after she was gone. "There's been a lot of talk of sitting on babies today. Why?"
Raven opened her mouth to explain but was distracted by the darkening stain expanding across the gauze on Luna's arm. Was it bleeding more than normal or was that her guilt talking? "I really am sorry about that."
Luna looked to her in confusion and Raven nodded down at her arm. Understanding dawned and Luna's hand shifted slightly to conceal it from her gaze, offering her a small smile.
"And it really is okay. Honestly, Raven. You were trying to do me a kindness. I know that."
That didn't erase the look of fear she'd seen on Luna's face, though. It still screamed in her memory, cutting a blaze across her nerves. She decided then and there that she never wanted to see that look again.
They spent the next few minutes in silence and, with the pain in her hip rising by the second, it was too much silence for Raven to tolerate. She needed the distraction of conversation, any conversation.
"So. . . I take it you've been having trouble sleeping?" Luna looked at her in surprise. "It's just, most people aren't as dead to the world as you were unless they're really, really tired."
Luna hesitated. "I don't do well in unfamiliar environments, surrounded by unfamiliar people."
"I get that." And she did. Hell, she could remember how hard those first few weeks on the ground had been in the delinquent's camp. The only person she'd really known was Finn, and he'd betrayed her. Add to that, there were a bunch of strange - and murderous - inhabitants hiding in the trees, thirsting for their blood, and well. . .
It was hard to feel safe in the middle of all that.
Luna chewed on her bottom lip, seeming to debate whether or not to say her next words. "I feel safer in here with you. I think that's why I fell asleep. I just. . . I know you better than the others."
You know me better than I'd like, Raven thought grimly.
She inwardly cursed herself for the way her heart picked up at Luna's words, though, like she was a teenager with a crush. Well, okay, technically she was still kind of a teenager - but she didn't have a crush!
"Well, feel free to crash here anytime." What, Raven, no what are you doing?! You'll never be able to sleep again! "I mean, I'm barely in here anyway so. . ."
Luna's eyes glimmered with faint amusement. "I think you not being in here would kind of defeat the purpose."
Because it was Raven and not the room that made her feel safe. Right. Well, shit.
Raven wasn't sure she'd ever made anyone feel safe.
What the fuck did she say to that? "Uh. . ."
What the hell, Reyes? Use your words!
Luna chuckled. "I take it asking you to sleep more often is a losing battle?"
"Yep." She popped the last syllable, skillfully avoiding Luna's eyes as she retrieved her tablet. "But, um, I'm gonna be in here for a couple more hours still tonight - or well, this morning - if you want to catch a few more Zzzs, I mean." It wasn't like there was anything more for her to do out in the lab. She could try and brainstorm a solution to the missing barrel from her bed just fine.
And, well, her body still felt a little like death warmed over and Raven knew enough of her limits to understand that she'd already pushed far beyond them today.
Best to take a bit of a breather.
As much as she hated to admit it.
"'Zzzs'?"
The pronounced look of confusion on Luna's face was kind of adorable and she snorted. "Sleep. You can stay and try to get a little more sleep. If you want."
The smile on Luna's face was small, but too grateful for her to be comfortable with.
Raven looked away.
"Not going to try and convince me to go to sleep too?" she muttered after the silence had once again grown too thick. Most of the time, she liked how Luna could be quiet, didn't feel the need to fill the empty spaces in conversation with meaningless chatter.
Now, not so much.
"No. The fact that you're here and not out there means that if you could go to sleep, you would." Luna's face had far too much understanding on it - Raven shifted uncomfortably. "Pain?"
She said it all so simply, like she wasn't ripping her open and exposing her guts to the world with every word.
Raven said nothing.
"I remember when I nicked one of the nerves in my leg during training. I couldn't get a full night's sleep for weeks, some nights I couldn't sleep at all. I imagine living with that every day would be even harder. And I'm sure that seizure didn't help your pain levels either. So, no, I'm not going to try to convince you to go to sleep."
Raven stared at her a moment, hoping the shock didn't show too clearly on her face. She searched for something, anything to say.
It was too much.
Luna was too much.
Say something.
"Why the sea?"
Okay, a little off topic but better than nothing.
Luna blinked at the nonsequitur. "What?"
During their little meditation session, she'd let Raven in on what those weird but beautiful words she'd whispered in her ear actually meant. It really shouldn't have surprised her that they related to the ocean but, well.
Luna narrowed her eyes in question.
Raven shrugged. "I mean, it clearly holds some significance for you. Is it just because you lived on it or. . ." To be honest, Raven couldn't really see the appeal. Mostly because her bad leg meant she was more likely to drown than swim. Not that she even knew how to swim in the first place. There'd been no pools on the Ark. Her leg was just an added difficulty.
"That's partly the reason."
"And the other part?"
Luna hesitated, looking uncertain, which made her frown. She'd thought it would be an easy question to answer. A safe one. Raven hadn't thought it might be a touchy area or too intimate. That was the reason she'd asked it in the first place.
Clearly, she'd been wrong.
Eventually, Luna smiled, though there was something heavier to it than she was used to. "Maybe I'll tell you someday." The smile turned sly. "Maybe as a reward for you actually going to bed at night."
Raven waved that away. "Sleep is for suckers."
She rolled her eyes. "It's also necessary for survival."
Touché.
Raven couldn't exactly argue with that. Still didn't mean she was going to act on the advice, though. She narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying that if I go to sleep, you'll tell me all your deep dark secrets in exchange?"
"Whew," Luna blew out a breath, stretching out her arms as she raised her eyes towards the ceiling. The playful grin that overtook her face next made Raven's heart skip a beat. "I'm not sure we have that kind of time."
She raised an eyebrow. "Got a lot, huh?"
Luna nodded with mock gravity. "Oh, so very, very many. I think you would probably grow tired of me before we even got through half of them."
Raven snorted. "Yeah, I don't think it's possible to get tired of you."
Luna's face lit up, a surprised smile drawing tentatively at her lips.
Raven blushed. "I just mean that- Murphy is super annoying, and a douchebag, and impossible to share the same space with for any length of time and you're very much not. . . that," she trailed off, wincing slightly.
Perfect recovery, Reyes.
Luna nodded seriously, though she could detect some amusement still shining through. "Well, thankyou, Raven. I am very happy that I am considered more. . . tolerable than Murphy?"
Raven rolled her eyes. "Oh, shut up. I know you like him."
Luna shrugged. "I don't know him well enough to feel one way or the other about him." She paused. "But I. . . empathize with him."
"You don't even know half the shit he's done."
"No," she allowed. "But I know everything that I've done. Like I said before, I'm in no position to judge anyone." She paused. "I know he hurt you. Badly. And that you hate him for it, just as he hates himself."
Raven looked away. "I suppose you think I should forgive him?"
Luna furrowed her brow, shaking her head. "No. You don't owe forgiveness to anyone. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, not the person who hurt you." She craned her head, catching Raven's gaze with her own. "I've forgiven the people who hurt me, because I couldn't hold onto that anger and still hold onto myself. But no one path is right for everyone. If one day you forgive John, it will be because you need to. Not because he needs you to." Luna smiled at her. "And if you never forgive him, that's okay, too."
Raven sighed, shoulders slumping. "Every time I see him I just. . ." She looked down at her lap. "I'm stuck with not having the full use of this leg for the rest of my life. And maybe I could handle that." She shrugged. "But this pain. . . that's something I'm still working out how to handle. Maybe I never will." She bit her lip. She hated to admit it, hated confessing that doubt, that vulnerability; how weak it revealed her to be. "And it's his fault."
Luna's hands found hers, brought them to cradle in her lap. "It is hard to forgive when the hurt still exists. And no-one can blame you for still being angry." She began massaging her hands in a practiced rhythm. It was very distracting. "That doesn't make you weak." Raven flinched, wondering when she'd become so see-through. "Nor does struggling to manage your suffering. For most people, physical pain is temporary. Sooner or later, relief comes. But as you said, that will probably never be the case for you."
She swallowed, staring at their hands.
Luna didn't mind her silence, continued. "That's a hard thing for anyone to come to grips with. And it's something you must learn to accept, over and over again, every day. And yet you continue to fight. For yourself. For others. You haven't given up." She paused in her motions, giving Raven's hands a tight squeeze. "That kind of strength is rare. And nothing to dismiss. You should be proud of yourself."
Raven wasn't sure she believed that, but she could tell that Luna did. And that was. . . well, she appreciated that. And her words. "Thanks."
Luna's smile grew. "It's the truth. You don't need to thank me for giving voice to it."
Now it was Raven's turn to squeeze her hands. "Yeah. I do." She had a lot to thank her for, as a matter of fact. "So, thankyou."
That smile softened, grew warm. Her gaze drew Raven in, made her want to lean forward, to break the moment apart with an action that would be unbelievably stupid. She couldn't. She wouldn't.
But, God, she wanted to.
She wanted to thank Luna with more than just words.
Fuck, she was so screwed.
A/N: Raven you're terrible at flirting. Just terrible.
the sky people really need to be kept away from all nightbloods, not even kidding.
We'll be getting back to Luna's sea comment some time after chapter twenty, so don't expect an answer to that anytime soon.
One last chapter to come for this night and then it's a brand new day!
If I don't post again before Christmas, I hope you all have a happy holiday (if it's something you celebrate). I'm sending hugs to everyone who will be spending Christmas alone because of covid.
