To be honest, Raven was feeling strangely optimistic.

There was nothing like an overabundance of vomit and other gross bodily fluids to vanquish a silly attraction once and for all. All she had to do was wait for Luna to spill her guts and she would finally be free. Not-crush cured.

So there might just be a bright side to this whole mess, after all.

Even if that bright side was a little hard to see right about now.

Raven groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. "You're not supposed to be looking after me. You're the one with the fever."

And the immune system that had been shot to hell.

"And you're the one who's currently throwing up." Luna rubbed a hand over her back. The touch should have set her nerves on fire but instead Raven found it strangely soothing. No, not just soothing. Something more. She hated that it was something more. "I think I'm alright where I am. You don't need to worry about me, I feel fine."

Yeah, right.

Raven didn't believe that for a second.

She coughed, spitting out the last bit of bile. "Alright, I'm done."

Raven would never admit it but it had taken far more effort than she was comfortable with to get those words out. Had known that the second she managed to, Luna's hand would depart from her back and, God, it felt so good there.

Raven shut her eyes, prayed for a sword to strike her down. This was getting embarrassing. No, scratch that - it had surpassed embarrassing days ago.

They were at mortifying levels now.

Luna released her hair, stepping back, touch drifting away, and Raven barely bit back a groan at the loss.

So fucking pathetic.

When she turned around, it was to find that Luna had placed a steadying hand against the wall - and from the suspicious lean to her posture, Raven wouldn't be surprised if it was the only thing currently holding her up.

She raised a brow. "Oh yeah, you're fine."

Luna narrowed her eyes in reproach but sighed a moment later, making her way somewhat haltingly over to her bed. "Alright, I've been better."

"You look like you're going to pass out."

"Much better."

Hiding a smile, Raven turned to the bucket beside her, grimacing at the foul-smelling contents within.

"Murphy, your time has come!"

There was an answering groan from outside. "I will never forgive you for this!"

Abby had decided to place Murphy on bucket duty. The only redeeming aspect of this whole nightmare so far.

Luna moved to get up. "I can do it."

The offer was almost too weak to be audible.

Raven pointed a finger at her. "You are staying in bed and not moving even if the world ends. It's bad enough you got up to play nursemaid to me."

Luna sighed but didn't protest. A testament to how exhausted she must really be. "Poor John."

Raven rolled her eyes. "He'll be fine. He's a big boy and is more than capable of handling a little vomit."

The door swung open and Murphy scowled, entering the room. "You owe me big time for this, Reyes."

She held up her hands, the perfect impression of innocence. "Hey, Abby's orders, not mine."

Abby, you're a saint.

He ignored her, turning to the woman sprawled - impossibly gracefully - on the bed to his left. "Luna."

"John."

"Doing alright?"

"Fine."

The claim was somewhat ruined by the flushed nature of her skin and shallow breathing. But Raven gave her points for effort.

She and Murphy exchanged a look.

He bent down to pick up the bucket with a grimace, skillfully ignoring Raven's gloating smirk in the process.

Luna smiled apologetically. "Sorry about this, John."

He waved the apology away. "Don't worry about it. Believe me when I say I've dealt with worse. You just rest up."

Bet he wouldn't be saying that if he knew it was Raven's puke he now held in his hands. "Luna wasn't the one who threw up."

"You should be ashamed of yourself."

Yep.

She rolled her eyes, though was unable to deny the subtle lifting of her heart when she caught sight of the little smile playing across Luna's lips.

"You need anything?" Murphy asked, heading towards the door.

"Well, actually-"

"I meant Luna."

Raven huffed, flopping down onto the bed.

Talk about having favorites.

Her fellow prisoner covered another smile (entirely unsuccessfully). "I'm fine. Thankyou, John."

"Alright, just holler if you need me."

"And if I-"

"No."

The door shut, saving him from the full force of Raven's glare. Craning her head, she found Luna watching her with unshielded amusement. "What?"

"You just remind me of Sol and Lexa. They used to bicker like birds night and day."

"I'm choosing to believe I'm Sol in this scenario in order to not be insulted."

She was way too sick and grouchy to handle being compared to Lexa today. Or any day.

"If that's what you prefer." Luna nodded in understanding. "But Lexa always won their arguments. Something to keep in mind."

Raven bit her lip. "You're putting me in an impossible position."

She laughed, though it was soon cut short by a light cough, followed in quick succession by several more, each one more violent than the last.

Raven winced.

No more making Luna laugh.

Noted.

Coughing fit over, Luna eased back down onto her side, resting her hands under her cheek as she gazed across the room at Raven - a little too intently. "What did Abby mean about the spinal surgery?"

Raven looked away.

"You don't have to answer, I'm just curious."

"Well, I've always been a sucker for curiosity." Though, usually only her own. Raven sighed, leaning back against the headboard. "She was talking about my leg. Murphy shot me in the spine shortly after we got here and I ended up needing surgery. But we didn't have any anesthesia so I had to be awake for the whole thing. It was. . ."

One of the worst moments of her life. She'd never felt pain like that before. Well, not until Mount Weather decided to take a drill to her fucking bones.

Her life was full of unimaginable heights when it came to pain. Just when Raven thought she'd finally reached the peak, it flew out of range, the mountain soaring past her point of sight - and she just kept sailing on, right to the top.

There was no limit on pain, she was coming to find out.

Or suffering.

Something she was sure Luna could understand better than most

Though you wouldn't know it just by looking at her. Unlike Raven, she actually seemed to know how to handle that suffering. Wade through it. Perhaps even float above it.

She could admit to being more than a little impressed. And envious.

She'd read once that suffering was optional. A choice. It was a concept Raven spent every day striving to prove. Needed to prove.

(so far it wasn't working out so great)

When she refocused on Luna, it was to find that she had paled slightly during the course of her speech - though any horror was otherwise kept under wraps. Raven could see no trace of it in the line of her mouth or the shine of her eyes. Only in the automatic biological reaction that she had no control over.

She couldn't hide that.

Raven had horrified her.

It was an uncomfortable thought and she shifted, looking away.

The memory of her spinal surgery wasn't something she liked to dwell on. Or think about at all. But sometimes her mind strayed against her consent - like now - and swimming in the shadows of agonizing pain was the sensation of Finn's hand, locked around hers.

It only made the memory more unbearable.

But also tempting. Because sometimes. . . sometimes she craved to feel his hand around hers again, to look up into his eyes, knowing that in this she had him. In this, he wasn't going to leave her.

One of her worst memories.

But also one of the few where Raven had known without a flicker of uncertainty that she wasn't alone.

Love mixed with pain. That had always been her life.

She swallowed, considering the woman opposite her once more.

Luna kept the worst of her pain just below the surface. Raven tried to push her own away, fling it out into space with the stars and the sun, as far away from her as it could possibly go. But gravity kept it saddled to her existence.

There was no pushing it away. Not really.

She wondered whether Luna ever fell into her pain, sank into it.

Whether it ever threatened to drown her, like Raven's own did.

She seemed to have a knack for keeping herself afloat, no matter what.

Raven wished she had that ability too.

Tried to have it.

"Raven."

She wasn't prepared for the hand that reached out, fingers closing around hers. Soft. Secure.

Anchoring.

Raven flinched at the contact, regretting the reaction almost instantly when the hand drew back, retreating once more to the safety of Luna's bed - the divide between them opening up like a canyon.

In that moment, Raven had wanted to be touched. Held.

But her body had ruined it for her.

She bit the inside of her cheek, resisting the impulse to reach out herself.

Nothing good ever came from holding Luna's hand.

Or, rather, too much good came from it.

But her insides burned, twisting, pleading, and Raven's mouth filled with copper.

Screw it.

She reached out, seizing her hand.

Luna stilled a moment, studying her closely, before returning the hold, fingers sealing tight.

She hated how good it felt.

How everything inside her immediately calmed.

She hated how much power Luna had over her.

(but she didn't let go)

Luna's eyes were soft as they gazed back at her, full of far too much feeling. Feeling for her. "I don't know what spinal surgery is exactly, but I do know what surgery is. And I can't imagine how painful that must have been. And what it must have taken you to get through it."

Raven huffed, struggling to compensate for the hole, now opening up like a vortex in her chest. "Well, it's not like I had any other option but to get through it."

Luna squeezed her hand. "That doesn't make it any less of a trial. Or you getting through it any less impressive."

She swallowed, and for an inexplicable moment tears batted at her eyelids. What the fuck? Angrily, Raven forced them back. Reason number one why she didn't talk about this shit. "Don't say I'm strong."

Raven was sick of being called strong. So fucking sick of it.

Partly because, most of the time, she didn't feel strong at all.

She felt like an impostor.

Luna frowned, grip tightening around her hand. "I won't. But I will say that you amaze me. Because you do."

Okay, now she was just trying to make her cry.

Raven let out a theatrical groan, rolling over onto her back - acting like she was embarrassed rather than about to dissolve into a puddle of mushy feelings and tears was oh so much more preferable in this moment. She prayed Luna bought it. "You're so fucking sappy."

She let go of Raven's hand, mouth curling. The parting was both a misfortune and a relief. "I don't know what that means."

"It means you speak like your words are made of hearts."

Not exactly but it was all her brain could manage at the moment. And, well, it wasn't entirely inaccurate.

Luna's brow furrowed. "So it doesn't mean that I'm sticky and sweet?"

"I mean. . ." Raven's eyes slid to her, mind racing through a mortifying amount of scenarios in which Luna could indeed be sticky and sweet. Scenarios that involved a heck of lot less clothing than she currently had on now. For fuck's sake, Raven really was going to go to hell. "Nope. The first one. Definitely the first one."

Luna frowned, the perplexed look on her face enough to drive all undesirable - or rather, entirely too desirable - thoughts from Raven's mind and replace them with amusement.

"But that's ridiculous. What does sap have to do with hearts?" Luna's eyes drifted away in deliberation, as though Raven had just handed her a most complicated math problem - and one in urgent need of solving. "Is it because sap is seen as a tree's blood and blood is pumped by the heart?"

Fuck if I know.

"Uh. . . nevermind. Don't overthink it." Raven was just grateful that the sappiness had well and truly stopped now. Thank God. "Go to sleep?"

Luna wrinkled her nose. "I'm not tired."

Raven eyed the dark circles under her eyes, the way she slumped just a little too heavily into the mattress. "Uh-huh."

"It's the middle of the day."

"And you're sick, go to sleep." Oh how the tables have turned. Raven wasn't sure she liked being on this end of things. Though it did bring with it a certain element of amusement.

"By that logic, you should go to sleep too."

"Not tired."

Luna narrowed her eyes, opened her mouth - only to clap a hand over it. Oh boy. Springing into action, Raven reached for the bucket just in time.

She blew out a breath, watching as Luna proceeded to devote the next five minutes to their poor little bucket - which she was definitely going to incinerate once all this was over.

Saved by the fucking bell.

"Murphy, you're up!"

Her mouth twitched at the audible groan that came from outside.

"Do it your fucking self!"

"It's Luna this time!"

There was a pause.

Followed by a whoosh as the door popped open.

Fucking favorites.