CHAPTER XV

Without realizing and since their arrival, they'd been for over three weeks at the former headquarters' premises, from where they'd only moved to train with the boy to nearby grounds and back.

Throughout that time, was it possible for Captain Levi to be considerably more absorbed in his thoughts than usual? Most certainly. Though it only happened when they weren't working because the man was responsible and strict to a scary level.

Was he anxious? She mused to herself as she finished her own dinner now. He'd been even more silent than usual since he came back from Trost and the meeting he attended that morning.

Petra looked at his old comrades and they noticed too; they discussed it hours earlier and all agreed it was probably associated to Eren's failed transformations and frequent lack of total control over his titan form to perform specific things. Something Captain Levi surely had to report and that stressed him out. And he hadn't been like this since the incident with the spoon.

She still remembered how terrified she'd been at the unpredictable situation. Only the Captain remained absolutely calm, ready to fight the four of them to protect the kid, because their true mission was keeping him safe, which she didn't comprehend until after hearing Hange's explanation and witnessed Eren's crestfallen face.

Things changed after that, and despite she felt ashamed about letting herself dominate by fear, she continuously tried to rectify her mistake. I hope so, she said in her mind as she watched the poor lad having his dinner across the table. They were soldiers, no doubt about it but she still thought it must have been hard to get used to the Captain's high standards and at the same time, learning to use his powers; that was a lot of pressure for a fifteen year old kid.

"Eld. You and Petra are in charge of ensuring we have the required provisions for the next expedition" the Captain's voice was heard from the left, at the head of the table. She turned her head in his direction and saw him handing a list to his partner, and then he looked at her directly "You'll have twenty-four hours".

Petra was somewhat surprised to have been chosen instead of Gunther, who's family lived in Trost. Eld was the obvious choice because he had his fiancée there.

She looked at his colleague, but the dark-haired man only winked at her briefly. None of the present noticed.

"Understood, sir" the man complied, and stood up obediently. And the rest of the small group did the same now that supper was over, and their obligations had been delivered.

"You're all dismissed for today" the Captain declared, and before leaving while he carried his usual cup of tea, he discreetly glanced in her direction without saying a word. And for a second, she thought he was going to say something, but the man just kept walking.

Shortly after, Eld and Eren also retired. The last one was very exhausted after that day of training, when only the first two transformations were successful, but he insisted on trying and at the end, overexerted himself.

"Don't go upstairs yet" Oluo demanded "I'll send something to my parents with you" he walked out and disappeared through the door.

Petra smiled on the inside. She knew them well and liked them very much, especially Oluo's mother, who was always so kind to the three of them; they'd been to their house several times in the past, at the city that was past the gates of Trost.

Maybe he should go instead… she considered, unsure to join Eld on this task. Petra had the feeling that Captain Levi sent her for a reason, and she could only guess what it was. The man knew almost everything about them; therefore, he was aware that her father resided half an hour away from the district.

"Don't worry, Petra" Gunther approached to her and placed his hand on her head, like an older brother would do "I asked the Captain not to send me with Eld. My sister is taking dad to see a doctor at Ehrmich for the day"

"Man, I nearly told him he made a mistake!" she said and hit him jokingly on the shoulder before crossing her arms "Is not that I don't appreciate it, but you could have informed me".

"Sure" he rubbed the area where she'd hit him, slightly laughing "As if I knew the boss was going to order this to you instead of Oluo" he said, sarcastically.

Petra laughed and smiled apologetically at him while scratching her head, a bit ashamed.

"Oh, I'm sorry Gunther" she conceded "But what about Oluo?"

"What about me?" the alluded enquired, stood beside her and tilted his head to the left, curious.

"Don't you want to take this opportunity to go see you parents?" she asked, more serious.

"Nah" he assured to both, and after looking away for a couple seconds, he gave away a strange smile "I'll go spend a few days with them once we're back from the mission" he clarified.

Truth was, he'd acted all cocky and made a deal with his father, one stating that he wouldn't go back home unless he finally had the guts to ask Petra out on a date. And he foolishly promised them he'd do so on their way back.

Despite it terrified him on the inside, Oluo really looked forward to finding out what she'd say.


She checked the list again, noting that the only things left were matches, pick up the emergency kits designated for them from headquarters and, as always, get Captain Levi's extra amount of tea leaves. However, this time she looked closely at the list he'd given to Eld, where another type was written next to his regular choice; in his own writing, the paper said clearly black tea with cinnamon. Petra raised an eyebrow and looked at her squad mate, surprised by this change, but he just shrugged and didn't brood over it, so she let it go too.

They agreed it was best dividing the task up to save time, and so, Eld would take the horses to the barracks and get the kits, and she'd have to buy the other items.

"Are you staying at your fiancé's tonight?" she asked as normal as if she'd been talking about the weather, but her friend only blushed and looked to his side, dead silent. Petra looked at him with disbelief and pinched his arm to call his attention "C'mon, Eld! You're two years older than me, you're getting married, and I suspect you know what that means, don't you?"

"I know, Petra" he admitted, with a timid smile and nodded, resigned.

"You may be shy and reserved but to react the way Eren would is not good in a relationship" she advised while taking her things from the horse's back "I'm sure you like the woman, so go to her, you fool. Let her know you care" the redhead's words were a bit intimidating but he knew she was right, so he just nodded, and she gave away an encouraging smile "If there's one thing, we should all learn from the uncertainty we constantly live in, is that we can only seize the day, enjoy and cherish the good things we have, my friend" she was thinking about Elia and the situation she'd faced.

"All right, Petra. I'll try to keep that on mind" he admitted "And yes, I'll stay at her place so, shall we meet tomorrow at seven outside the barracks?" he talked very quickly but she heard well.

"Sounds good to me" she started writing down something fast in her tiny notebook and tore a piece of paper to give it to him "Just in case, I'll be at this place" she pointed at the address.

Eld nodded after tying Petra's mount to follow his and then got on the back of the animal; these would spend the night at the barracks' stables.

Minutes later, the redhead went looking for what she needed before going to see her friend, to where she arrived after 7PM; finding the Captain's new idea hadn't been easy.

However, no one answered when she knocked, and she figured Elia was either at work or the hospital, reason why she decided to wait for a while. About half an hour had passed when she finally spotted her approaching, in the company of an older woman, with whom she was chatting. And as expected, her face lit up with joy the instant she saw her there.

"What a pleasant surprise!" her friend said and hugged her. The lady beside her only stared with polite interest "Mrs. Green, this is Officer Petra Ral, Special Operations Squad's Elite soldier" Elia announced her with pride, and she gave a self-conscious laugh, grateful for the unexpected deference.

"Pleased to meet you, Ms. Ral" the woman said and bowed her head respectfully.

"Dear Petra, this is Mrs. Griselda Green. Wall Rose Military and General Hospital Senior Nurse" her friend explained politely "She's my tutor at the hospital".

"Now I understand why your face looked a bit familiar" Petra said, bowing deferentially "Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Green".

"You both may call me by my name" the woman asked. She seemed quite kind "All I hear most of the day is Mrs. Green, so it'd be nice hearing it, or I'll end up forgetting my own name".

They laughed for a few seconds before her friend opened the door and they follow inside while she lit up the place.

"Just so you know, you may call me by my name as well" she clarified after leaving her jacket on the rack stand, and the bag she carried right next to it "In my line of work it's pretty much the same".

"It's weird, isn't it?" the lady commented, pensive "I sometimes feel like I've stopped being Griselda to mostly play this role as nurse Green. A job that I've always liked but it's not everything about me".

"I totally agree. Although, I cannot complain; the people I directly work with are kind of like a family, so they rarely use my surname".

"Oh, that's a real fortune" the older woman said.

At that moment Elia came back, and she'd changed her work clothes for a sweater, and some loosen pants; way more comfortable now that she was home. And on top of everything she wore an apron.

"Everything in order. Dinner is going to be ready in a couple minutes" she commented to both in a cheerful tone and offered them a seat and something to drink "You'll stay for dinner, right?" she asked.

Griselda briefly looked at the clock on the wall. She seemed somewhat hesitant but then nodded.

"I'll stay but I only have two hours before returning to the hospital. I have a night shift to cover" she shared with them.

"Great" Elia said, enthusiastic and then turned to see her "What about you, Petra?"

"If it's not an inconvenient, I'll spend the night here with you" she offered, and Elia's gaze shone with joy.

The three continued talking while setting the table and helping Elia out with some minor things.

"How come you cook so fast?" the older woman enquired "Because it takes me at least one or two hours to do it. That's why I usually buy food at the market or some store. It's exhausting to cook just for myself".

"Well, I just leave everything ready before leaving home" her friend explained and shrugged "And I just mix the things when I return. Mom usually did that to save time".

Petra glanced at her and despite the smile on her face, she noticed the little stab of pain in her eyes when she said that. Of course, it'd hurt, she said to herself, relieved to see that desolation wasn't the only thing in there, and that gave her hope. I'm glad everything you're doing is helping you out, Elia…

"Now, what's this whole tutoring deal?" she said, inquisitively.

"I'll let Gris to explain meanwhile I go check the food. It should be ready" Elia stood up and headed to the kitchen.

Petra listened carefully to everything the older lady was telling about her friend. Starting with how she managed to score a magnificent grade at the entrance exam, to how diligent and skillful she'd been ever since joining the staff. However, despite her remarkable work, they couldn't just certify her at once. That was the reason they'd put her to work at the Hospital under supervision, which is where Griselda came in.

"I'd act surprise, but Elia knew a lot about medicine since we were just children" the redhead said while contemplating the alluded approaching with the food tray and looking to both, oblivious to what they've been discussing.

"What about you, Petra?" Griselda asked her, truly interested "Did you enlist to the militia by choice or was it an obligation?"

"I chose it" she replied in all earnestness as she helped her friend with the plates. Still, she wasn't blind to the tension on the woman's expression.

"I see" was all she said for a moment and then forced a smile, respectful but also full of sadness "You've just reminded me of my son".

"Is he also a scout?" she asked, curious but then she understood what she meant; it was evident in her countenance. That was an expression they knew way too well "He... What division did he served to? Maybe I knew him".

"Rolf worked with former Commander Shadis" the older woman explained.

That was enough to understand the man's fate. Petra knew Shadis and how bad things were under his command. Not that now were great, but the casualties of each expedition did drop after Commander Erwin's appointment. Still, Petra found some honor in his decision to resign when he realized he was getting nowhere.

"I'm very sorry, Griselda" she voiced out.

"It's ok, girl" the woman thanked her with a friendly and understanding smile "I think I already knew what could happen when he decided to join them and how he refused listening to me when I tried to dissuade him of doing it".

"I don't think it works that way for the people who decides to do it, like him and my sister. At thirteen, she was incredibly sure about the path she wanted to follow" Elia joined their conversation, and Petra perceived the longing in her words "In a way, I believe it's no different from our call, Gris. Just like we heal people, they want to defend them and also find a way to end this nightmare for everyone" once again, the redhead caught a glimpse of pride in her eyes.

"I couldn't have said it better" Petra agreed to every word and felt both grateful and happy to see Elia trusted them.

"Indeed. Unfortunately, I suspect most of the soldiers that end up as scouts lack of this kind of resolution and strength of character" the lady opined "With very few exceptions, of course".

"Well, is never easy at first. But I also believe it has a lot to do with the people guiding us, and then the ones we work with" Petra was thinking about her own team "It's extremely important to bond with them, that's how we end up trusting each other and thus, work better" she made a pause and looked at Elia because she was thinking about her boss now "Which couldn't be possible if it weren't for our leaders, and their criteria to choose us. Besides, they constantly urge us to self-improvement through their own actions, and without realizing it, fear goes away when we're out there. Because they inspire us. It's why many people inside our division is willing to sacrifice their hearts in the hope of a better future" the soldier meant every single word.

"Commander Erwin seems to be a great man" Griselda expressed, assimilating her words "I remember Rolf saying in one of his letters that his strategies were different, that he was the kind of man who'd recognize when the situation had a way out or not. I guess that was old Shadis' mistake; leading is a terrible responsibility he wasn't suit for".

"Maybe. And I agree to what you said about the Commander. However, I was referring to my own boss" this time it wasn't on purpose, but her eyes inevitably turned to Elia for a brief moment. She seemed stoic; for some reason she wasn't saying anything "Although a bit unorthodox... Well, rather quite unorthodox, the Captain is an excellent leader" she wasn't going to try to explain how strict he was nor his menacing gaze; discipline was highly important for a good soldier "He sometimes tends to entrust us the less risky parts, and yet we know it's not because he doesn't think we cannot handle it. On the contrary, we know it's because he values us more than he could ever admit. He hates unnecessary risks for his subordinates" she gave away a solemn smile, remembering he usually called them that way "That being the case, how could we not trust and believe in him to guide us?"

"Ilva used to say the same. And she was an excellent judge of character" that was the only thing Elia said, with nothing but an absolute conviction in her voice. She really believed so too.

"And who is this person?" Griselda looked at Elia and then at her.

"Captain Levi" Petra stated. The healer was focused on her hands, silent.

The older woman was quite startled by the answer. It was clear that she didn't seem to be one of the people who thought well of him, which was understandable. His name was renown inside the three walls, along with several stories about him that the man had no interest on rectifying or anything.

"My apologies for the reaction, but it's a bit difficult to embrace it" Griselda confessed "I don't know him personally but he's very famous, though not in a good way. The only close references I have about him are from a couple nurses, who claimed he's a frightening person and not easy to deal with" and that was a restrained statement. The words they used to describe him weren't this gentle.

"That's because they don't know him" Petra had been thinking how to reply but it was Elia who decided to say something "People generally tend to fear who they cannot understand, especially when there's prejudice involved" nonetheless, this time she gave away a mysterious smile "Though I admit most people's first impression of him is feeling intimidated and that's undeniable. He can be scary but that doesn't make him a bad person".

Petra only nodded several times to show her support to those words, but truth was she was trying to also hide her astonishment at Elia's way to defend him. She said all that with determination and pure faith; things he had undoubtedly earned. And something told her that the Captain allowed her friend to see more of himself, what only a few ever did. And of course, he'd done so unconsciously.

"Well, in that case, I'm glad to know people like him can make a difference" she could tell Griselda wasn't completely convinced but it was a start. She saw her standing up and thanking for the meal now "I'm sorry ladies but I can't stay any longer".

Both she and Elia imitated her and approached the door to see her out.

"It's been a long time since I had such a pleasant evening" the older lady said to both after putting on her coat "It was a pleasure to meet you, Petra" she offered her hand with a genuine smile.

"Likewise, Griselda" the soldier shook hers amicably "Hope to see you again".

"We should repeat it once you're back from the mission" Elia proposed, grateful for their friendship and happy at the idea.

"Sounds great" Petra nodded, enthusiastic "Count me in".

"Hopefully, during one of my days off so I can stay longer" the older woman gave a little nod and turned "See you soon, girls!"

"She seems like a very nice lady" Petra said while both stood at entrance, watching the nurse go.

"Gris is a great person" Elia replied with a melancholic smile now that they lost sight of her and turned to go back inside "She sometimes reminds me of mom, and others to dad".

Petra only smiled at her with sympathy.

As they began to clean the table and carry everything to the kitchen, they exchanged some of the experiences they had had during the weeks away. Nonetheless, Petra couldn't say much because all was classified but Elia fortunately knew it.

"You were right about the boy" considering who she was talking to, speaking about Eren's character wasn't divulging sensitive information "In the past three weeks, he's been incredibly respectful and attentive. He always listens to me, especially when it comes to cleaning" she laughed at her own words, knowing she didn't exaggerate.

"That's a very good to know, Petra" Elia commented with a gentle smile but then she looked somewhat confused "But I don't understand what you mean about cleaning. Is that a code?"

"Okay..." Petra smirked and then continued "Well, given the situation you were in, and the fact that you're extremely clean, I imagine you wouldn't notice the Captain's aversion to dust and that he's a clean freak" she burst out laughing but then she composed herself "I mean it. I swear to you that I've seen him show more horror at the image of a dirty place or bad cleaning than anything titans related".

Elia smiled unconsciously as she turned to store something in the cabinet where she kept the tablecloth and napkins. Now she was understanding better his kind of scrutiny the first time he entered her home.

"I'm in no place to judge him" the healer shrugged and offered an apologetic smile "Ilva and I used to fight a lot because she was so messy most of the time. That's why she used to call me a maniac".

"He most likely appreciated your obsession, girl" the redhead joked, and she was going to say something more direct, but she restrained herself and followed her friend back to the dining room.

She was really curious about them but if Elia wanted to share something or not, it was her decision. In any case, it didn't matter because whether she did it or not, Petra was almost certain there was something going on there. Only you could have been interested in someone as reserved as yourself, Captain! she scolded him mentally.

"Going back to the main subject, I'm sure is not easy to learn so much in only three weeks but Eren's really committed to fit in, follow our rules, and it's heartening to see how he really strives to measure up to our standards. He truly doesn't want to disappoint us, and even less, let down the Captain" she shared.

"I'm glad to know you get along with him just fine. He's not a bad kid" Elia said as she finished giving the table a wipe… for a second time. Completely unnecessary but Petra already knew this was part of her own quirks, and that made her laugh, which got her a suspicious look from her friend "What are you laughing at, huh?"

"Nothing really" she partially lied "I'm just happy to see you're moving on, woman".

Elia gave away a sober smile at her words.

"I try to, Petra" she confessed and stood still, looking to her room and Ilva's "There are days I don't have much self-encouragement, days when this emptiness overwhelms me, and days when I cry myself to sleep, but I keep going as best as I can. With every breath and every step, I want to appreciate the life I have because I wish to honor my sister's sacrifice and to make my parents proud by at least not giving up" she turned to her now, and the light in her eyes showed a strong resolve.

"It's all you need for now, Elia. But things will get better somehow" she promised, just hoping she'd find something worth living in the future "The beginning is the hardest part. And after that, it's not that you stopped caring or that you no longer mourn them; you just learn to live with that pain. That's what Dad always said to me since we lost Mom and he was right".

"Dearest Petra. I don't know a way to express how important you are to me, and how much it means what you just said" Elia came closer and held her hand, gently.

"We have one another's back, girl. It's all that matters" the redhead squeezed hers with the same affection.

"I better go do the dishes before we go to bed" Elia turned and headed back to the kitchen "I don't think I could ever fall asleep knowing they're in the sink but still dirty" she laughed at her own joke, but Petra knew she meant every word.

"I'm positive you wouldn't" she agreed, and the grabbed the dish towel hanging in the wall "Would you mind me drying these things and storing them?" Elia was probably going to say she was her guest, so she interrupted her "Let me help at least a little".

"Alright, girl. But just the things that are already on the dish rack" her friend pointed out "I usually leave all this to drip-dry. Otherwise, they smell later if they remain wet, even if it's a little".

Petra nodded and began her own task. And two minutes later, when she'd been looking for a place to store tiny glass jars, something caught her attention inside the cupboard where Elia had told her to put them.

The instant she opened it, she noticed everything inside there had been impeccably organized and labeled. But the thing that intrigued her was an entire level that said Infusions, which was also divided by medicinal or domestic use. Considering Elia's work and predilection for tea, it wasn't surprising to see the large number of different leaves there; the surprise was seeing one of the glass containers labeled Black tea with cinnamon, right next to just regular tea. Aha! She screamed inwardly, comprehending where the whole unusual tea request was coming from after years of having the same.

Her sudden movement was so energetic that she accidentally hit her elbow against the cupboard's door. However, Petra didn't give away any exclamation or she would burst into laughter again.

"Are you alright?" Elia, who'd been at her side the whole time, turned slightly alarmed at the plunk she heard.

"Don't worry. I just hit myself with the door but it's nothing" the redhead managed to say while she started to laugh at her clumsiness. And her discovery.

Elia turned to finish her work and it was then that Petra looked at her out of the corner of her eye, knowing the woman was completely oblivious to her thoughts.

I'm pretty sure new kinds of tea is not the only thing you discovered at this house, sir, Petra said to him. Now confident about the idea that someone finally touched the heart of that frightening, yet good human being.

And it made sense. The Captain and Elia had many things in common but at the same time were extremely different, and that balanced them perfectly. They even look good together, her inner voice said, and she smiled, approving and hopeful to witness this unusual story between them; in a world so full of pain, violence, and uncertainty, this gave her hope.


"I'm afraid there's no other way, Levi" his friend had said as he placed his right hand on his shoulder, fully aware that the Captain already hated the situation "The fewer know about it, the better. It's our one chance to capture one of them".

He didn't like it one bit, but reality was hard and there was nothing he could do differently if they wanted to move forward. Still, that didn't mean he stopped feeling dishonest to them.

You are not lying. Leaving information out is not the same. That's what Erwin said to all after sharing his plan and the expedition's real purpose with him, Hange, Mike and a couple other officers. And judging by their own discouraged expressions he knew they were as upset as he was; this meant many would perish, and yet it was worse knowing they'd continue to do either way, plan, or no plan.

For better or worse, every member of the Survey Corps understood that taking huge risks was part of their trade, and all accepted this could be their last expedition. Levi had it clear. His problem laid in that tiny detail concerning to keep them ignorant of the situation; as if they didn't matter and their lives were worthless, completely dispensable compared to him. Something he never once considered to be true because he didn't value his life over others. Fuck! the soldier cursed his luck, bound hand and foot by secrecy, frustrated and stressed.

He sat on his cot, leaned his back against the wall, and breathed out, weary. It was tiring to act like a nanny to the brat when his mission was another, although at least the kid was obedient and tried to meet his expectations... as obedient as a teenager could be, of course. He got particularly distracted when his former comrades were near, so he continuously moved him around. They couldn't trust any of them for now, not even that one particular brat who dared looking at him defiantly when he scolded Eren for taking too long to go back training. She was unnervingly overprotective over him.

You must protect him, Levi. Whatever the cost. Those were Erwin's orders after the trial, the same he repeated when the rest of the comrades had left and only Hange and him remained in his office. Because Eren Yeager was the only lead they had, and if their suspicions were true, the enemy would try to make contact; to kill him or whatever other shit they had in mind with him. Deep in thought, the soldier yawned and just closed his eyes for some minutes.

Somehow, she was standing inside Erwin's empty office, a couple meters right in front of him. Although when he looked at the place closely, he noticed there were no windows or furniture, just an old cot to sleep on. He turned to see around, and he was shocked to find only bars behind him and no other soul nearby. It was then he realized that place wasn't his friend's office, and they were locked inside the dungeons.

"You killed them. By just denying them the right to know what was all about, you condemned them, sir" she said with angry eyes, the same that were fixed upon him with nothing but contempt and disappointment "Because you let them all die without even comprehending why. And you didn't lift a finger to aid them when you're perfectly capable of destroying all around you".

Levi stared at her completely speechless. Unable to contradict her words because he thought the same. And he hated himself for it, just like that day under the rain, when his friends and only family died because of him.

"I imagined they were important to you. I thought you respected them. And I illusively believed you appreciated them, but now I see they're only puppets in this game" she blurted out, no need to raise her voice. The roughness in her tone was more than enough.

"It's not like that" he managed to articulate, horrified at the sight of those gray eyes looking at him full of pain, and worst of all, disgust.

"Yes, it is. You know it. You knew it as soon as the Commander explained his plan. And yet you still went ahead with it, agreed to it. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised, coming from a criminal like you" he didn't quite understand why hearing those words affected him now. He'd been a criminal, that was no secret "The only thing I'm truly glad right now, is to know my sister died peacefully. And not betrayed by the man she believed in more than anyone else in the world".

"Enough" the soldier spoke sharply, though it also sounded like a plea. He was petrified and unable to stop listening to her accusation, and he realized the reason behind was that he also sought to punish himself for what had happened; he deserved it and would bear it. But he hadn't considered that something inside him would shatter because of what she'd said.

"I'd tell you to go to hell, but it's pointless since we already live in it, don't we?" she said with cold irony "The best you could do is staying away from me and everyone else. Your presence only brings death to those around you, sir."

Her gaze, now resentful and disappointed pierced him like the misery he felt the day he was abandoned by that man he rarely thought about. But it hurt, and he couldn't shout, speak, or fight, because seeing him suffer was the only thing making her smile now, even if it wasn't out of happiness.

All of a sudden, he saw her walk in his direction to stand before him, and after smiling with particular cruelty, he caught a glimpse of an object she held in her hand: it was the dagger he usually kept inside his boot.

The woman placed the blade on his face and began to slide it down his cheek; seconds later, he felt a gentle cut and the warmth of his own blood on the skin.

Her face was completely expressionless now, but her eyes were weeping. It was then something warned him that she'd stick the dagger in his body, and he reacted instinctively; grabbing her by the wrist and turned her around until her back collided with his chest. And in the blink of an eye, he guided the hand that kept holding the weapon right into her heart.

"Levi" she whispered his name with nothing but incredulity and sadness.

And just like that, he felt the weight of her body collapsing in his arms. She was dead... just like everyone else around him.

The soldier woke up abruptly and put his hand on his chest, trying to calm his pounding heart and perturbed spirit at the recent nightmare.

Locked inside that small room and after some minutes, he looked to the window and noticed it was still early in the morning. He didn't feel like closing his eyes for the moment, not when those images were still too fresh and kept haunting him.

Determined to distract himself, he walked out and headed to the yards behind the building to work on something, seeking physical tiredness not to think about the bad dream or her. He'd managed to do so since their arrival there; firstly, focused on making the place inhabitable, and later immersed in Eren's training sessions, as a titan and also as a functional member of his squad. That's how time quickly passed by. But evidently, that dormant part had awakened along with his new worries and the need to know if she was okay. He imagined she was, but that didn't send away his curiosity. And since he couldn't and wouldn't go because of his obligations, the easiest way was to find it out through Petra. Who left with Eld the previous morning and had probably seen her by now.

Meanwhile he carried potato sacks and wooden boxes containing tanks of extra gas to the wagons that would be sent to Karanese to have them ready, he desperately hoped to forget the bloody dream, and ignore the omen behind it. Four days… he repeated in his mind, for the first time feeling some fear about a mission.

The Captain stopped for a minute to drink some water and frowned at the sky. Dark clouds are a sign that there's going to be a storm, son... he heard his mother's voice, recalling he hadn't understood those words back then; it was impossible when, unlike her, he'd never seen the sky. But now that he had, he couldn't help the anxiety at the ones that'd reach them by dawn.


THE MORNING OF THE 57Th EXPEDITION OUTSIDE THE WALLS

At least that morning, the woman was feeling much better than the last few days. She looked to her reflection in the mirror and noticed the redness in her eyes had disappeared, her nose no longer itched, and the cough was gone too.

She smiled to herself, relieved to see that her cold had finally come to an end. Meaning she'd only missed two shifts of work at the store, on Friday and Saturday evening. To where she'd headed directly from the hospital on Friday, but Mr. Lee saw her and order her to go home and recover. He also informed her that he'd close the store for three days starting Sunday, to reorganize the place, which would give her the opportunity to cover the hours she'd been away on Saturday at the hospital.

Griselda had told her it was never wise to attend work sick and spread the virus when it was at its peak, and she knew that too. She just blamed her back luck of a few days ago, when it started pouring down and she managed to make it to the hospital, but got there cranky and soaking wet.

Now in high spirits, Elia got tidy up just like every morning and chose her dark blue pants, a white long-sleeved blouse, and a light-blue sweater; it was a bit warm outside, but she had to protect herself from the wind or she may have a relapse.

The healer made sure to eat a complete breakfast now, since she barely had any appetite over that last two days. Oatmeal, milk, and a green apple were perfect for the moment.

When she walked outside, she heard a couple passers-by in front of her house, talking about the Survey Corps; it was then when she remembered that today was Eren's first expedition alongside her friends. They're at about to leave, she looked to the east and then checked the time in her father's pocket watch. No. They left already, she corrected herself, knowing they'd cross Karanese's gates at 7AM and that was ten minutes ago.

She was focused on locking her door now when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Morning, Elia" it was Garrett, this time completely dressed in his military attires "I'm sorry for coming here so early but I heard you were sick. I just stopped by in case you needed anything" he tried to disguise his worry by scratching the back of his head. He smiled somewhat nervously.

"Good morning, Garrett" Elia replied politely "I was ill but as you can see, I'm all better now".

She realized he was trying to make sure she was telling the truth. And why would I lie? she asked herself, a bit amused. And then she tilted her head to the side, suspicious.

"Hold on" she said with her hands on her waist "How did you know I was sick?" Elia wasn't upset, but she didn't really like when people divulged information without her consent, no matter how insignificant it could be.

"Don't get mad at the boy. He didn't want to say anything, but he probably saw me too worried and that's why he gave up" the blond explained and looked down for a moment "I stopped by the store on Friday and didn't see you. I thought maybe that was your day off, so I went back the next day, but it was the same. Then, I decided to ask" the officer got nervous within every minute because of her serious expression.

"Okay, I understand but it was only a cold and I'm fine now" she informed and then just let it go. She still had plenty time, but she wanted to get to the hospital soon; she was considerably on edge, and she wasn't quite conscious about it "Why were you looking for me? Do you need my help?" she enquired.

"My father told me that you are leaving, and now I see it was true" he said and looked to her house behind her with nostalgia. His eyes were fixed at the For Sale sign on the window "Why are you moving? Is it money related?"

The healer opened her eyes somewhat surprised; she really didn't like when others meddled in her affairs without permission. But she remembered that they were in good terms with him now. Besides, he was probably trying to help.

"It's true that I will leave this place, Garrett" she trusted her friend, but she decided not to say the real reasons; Elia didn't feel like going into details about her motives "And yes, money is the primary reason. It's not very sensible to keep a family home just for me. Especially when I'm away most of the day anyways".

"I understand, but it's a bit strange, you know. You've lived most of your life in this place…" now he only sounded really sad about it, kind of insecure "Do you know where you will go after?"

"You're right on that but as I said, I hardly spend much time here and it's too big for one person" the woman admitted "But it'll take some time before it happens. The notice is recent, and I've only received one offer to this day. So, I haven't thought much about where I'll be going"

"Right" he mumbled "I just hope you're staying near Trost" he spoke quickly and looked away when he noticed he probably had gone too far.

"We'll see" was all she said about that and looked at the watch once more "I'm sorry but I must get going" she nodded and started walking "See you later, Garrett" and without further ado, she continued her way.

So, this is all they'll talk about for today, she said to herself after crossing paths with another group of people talking about Commander Erwin's men, always with criticism, never hope nor respect. Elia breathed out and glimpsed one of the many building that had been destroyed, a little over a month ago.

She stopped to look at it. It was so hard to believe that it had been that long since she saw her family for the last time. And she longed for them at this very moment, worried about the unknown future.

Be strong, sister, Ilva's voice was clear and loud in her head, urging her to keep fighting, just the way she'd been doing. And Elia couldn't help but also think about a promise she'd made to the owner of those steel-blue eyes that night. One she intended to keep.


Don't really know what to say other than I've suffered writing this chapter because I love Petra and the guys.

Thanks for reading!

Namárië