CHAPTER XXXV
Clockwork Part 1
In the midst of the commotion over such unexpected, fine dinner, she glanced around the place and noticed Levi sitting alone in a corner, looking sulkier than normal as he ate his food in silence, not really minding that it was meat whatsoever. What's up with him? she wondered, curious to know why that mood before the mission; he wasn't the kind to get anxious about it. Well, he surely never had a girlfriend before so it could be related… Hange imagined she was probably important; thus, he'd started feeling guilty to leave her knowing he might not come back. Perhaps they had a fight over this… she mused and decided to join him in case he wanted to chat or something; sure, that'd be a first, but she never conceived the idea of him in a relationship so, it wasn't that crazy to believe in the possibility.
The brunette said goodbye to the group she'd dined with and went over there, carrying the plate with what was left of her food.
"Man, this place is really buzzing today, don't you think?" she commented as she took a seat beside him, noting he merely stopped for a second and simply scanned his surroundings, finding nothing interesting so he went back to his meal "Makes it hard to think we're leaving tomorrow… it doesn't feel like old times at all".
Right when he'd been about to respond, they turned their faces to the left, where the sound of a familiar whining caught their attention. It was Sasha, who after biting Jean had been tied to a post nearby; gagged as she was, they watched her trying to chew the piece of cloth to tear it apart, or maybe eat it; she wasn't certain given the girl's behavior. But before she got to do anything, Mikasa approached and squatted in front of her to gently put a big piece of steak in her mouth. The tied girl let out a happy cry and gobbled the food in an instant, to what her friend responded by kindly patting her head.
"You should attribute that to having a new bunch of noisy, callow brats that have no idea what we're truly up against" he said right before taking a slice of potato to his mouth.
"Can't say you're wrong" she conceded, imitating him as she confirmed he was indeed upset over something "Have you seen Erwin? He said he was going to give Moblit back to me before dinner, but I haven't seen them for a while" well, that was no lie "I need to talk to him" she pouted.
It was tonight that she'd expose the cohabitation experiment to him; something she'd given many thoughts to but never found a good time to share. It all depended on whatever they'd find in that basement, that'd hopefully changed things for better.
"He's having a chat with the old goat and commander weedy" an apathetic Levi responded, but then looked at her suspiciously "You've been sighing like an idiot all day. Are you ill or something?"
"Not that I'm aware of" Hange replied with a shrug.
"It's not like your usual behavior before an expedition" he added, lifting an eyebrow, wary "Just know it's very annoying".
"Hey!" she exclaimed, putting her hands of her hips, offended "You don't see me criticizing you for the scowling I've seen on your face all day".
At that very moment, Erwin made his appearance, leaving a pint of ale on their table and then sat in front of them with an apologetic smile in their direction, to what she responded with a single nod; Levi on the other hand ignored both.
"I'm sorry. I ended up having dinner with Commander Pixis and Nile" the blond excused himself, mostly to her comrade, who'd been sitting there by himself. The same that didn't seem to care "What's up with you two?"
"Not much since he started bullying me" Hange complained, tilting her head in the soldier's way "I just asked him about you because I was trying to find Moblit".
"He's running an errand for me this evening but will be arriving shortly, I'm sure" her friend said, taking a sip of his drink and then peeped on the Captain, who'd been eating as if they weren't actually there "As for Levi, I suggest you better not mess with him today, Hange. His bad temper, I'm afraid is on me" judging by the seriousness in them, his face and tone, she figured why.
She'd discussed his participation during the mission the night after the medicals, when she'd assured him, he could fully trust her out there. Erwin was also precious to her, so that was the least she could do in case he had doubts, but the man was 100% determined to see this through with his own eyes, so she'd accepted. But it was different for Levi; his list of friends came down to pretty much Erwin and herself.
"Ooooh, so that's the reason" she said, nodding slowly in understanding and then a childish smile showed up on her face "Good to know it's only that" she decided to pull his leg a little, mostly to remind him he still had someone else in his life. Hopefully.
"Huh?" she smiled triumphantly to herself; he always fell for her traps so easily "What do you mean?" Levi frowned at her after taking a bite of bread.
Hange looked around quickly, trying to add suspense and seriousness to the situation but had the opposite effect when she leaned on his shoulder, pissing him off in advance.
"Well, I thought your lady had broken up with you" she said in a low voice, but it was loud enough for Erwin to also catch it. She was positive he knew; the way he assured Levi would be alright during their last private conversation led her to believe so "Don't know if you're aware of this but our Levi has finally become a man, dear Erwin" addressing the blond, she elbowed the soldier's side proudly.
The alluded choked on his food for a second but as soon as he recovered, he turned, shooting a menacing glare at her. Aw, he looks so cute when ashamed! Her mind shriek gleefully as she watched his ears turning slightly red.
"Is that so?" collected, the Commander asked. He wasn't going to make jokes on his friend, but Hange's little games could do him some good; distracting him a little at least "And how do you know this? Because he hasn't told me a thing" without looking in his direction, he perceived Levi's murderous stare.
"Without the shadow of a doubt" smiling broadly, the brunette winked at him but then got all grave to act discreetly "Although, I'm afraid I can't expose the details of how I know. But it is very true" she looked at Levi and then at the blond, gesturing towards the first "See? He wants to chop my head off for knowing about it" she said, merrily.
"Don't tempt me" the soldier warned through clenched teeth as she winced, because he'd kicked her under the table.
"I know, I know!" Hange waved her hand dismissively as she rubbed her shinbone with the other "You made me promise, or more like threatened me, not to ask you about her and I won't, okay?".
That stupid oath was the best he could get from Hange, considering how curious she was, so, somewhat relaxed, he drank his water and then had the last bite of meat left on his plate. But being that immersed in this interaction prevented both from seeing the brief and subtle smirk on their Commander's face.
"That's a shame, Hange" Erwin offered, meditative as he stroked his chin "If it's any consolation, she's a very interesting person".
"Whaaaaat?!" Hange's voice rose to a squeak as she protested, standing up abruptly and making everyone turn to her. Though as usual, they all went back to their own business immediately after, given this odd behavior was common in her. Eager to hear more, and unaffected by this, the woman sat down "You know her for real!? But you just said he hasn't spilled the beans about it!" she glanced at Levi in disbelief, and noticed he was just as surprised.
"I do" the Commander affirmed, apparently stoic while having some fun; playing with Hange's hunger for information, but Levi's attitude, arms crossed and narrowed eyes, stated how unpleasant the situation was for him, thus, he'd say no more.
"Wow! How's she like? Is she here among us? If not, what does she do? How old is she? And most importantly, who is she?" the brunette rattle on without even making a pause to breathe. Only when she looked at Levi, unable to hide her excitement, she spoke normally "You never said I couldn't ask someone else about her, you know?" she pointed out, shrugging innocently.
Despite having a thousand more doubts about them, Hange sticked with the main ones because this was certainly a bombshell, especially for being non-titan related. Wrapping her head around it had been extremely hard, that was why Erwin's confirmation was so important. So, with her eyes fixed on him, she leaned on the table waiting for answers and ignored Levi's looking sideways at her, exasperated and mad for the string of moronic questions.
"Oh, I'm afraid I cannot answer any of that without getting hurt, and tomorrow is a big day to all" the Commander replied, not wanting to vex his friend.
"Oh, you're killing me!" she cried out, collapsing dramatically on her chair "That's cruel, Erwin. Why would you say something like that and then back down…" the woman turned to Levi then, pouting like a child, just recalling he wouldn't say a word "Ugh, there's no point with you!" she griped, ignoring the way he dead eyed her.
"Be patient, Hange" the blond said, and that solemn, calm tone of his told her he was playing no more. The woman stopped the drama and awaited quietly "I'm sure he has his reasons but there may be a day he'll feel like opening up about it or maybe not, who knows. We must respect his choice regardless, as well as his privacy and hers".
Erwin's eyes darted to where Levi was, keeping a steady eye contact for quite a while, giving the impression that the two men were having another conversation.
"You want me to reconsider breaking your legs?" Levi said in a cold tone. He no longer seemed shocked or irritated but plainly furious.
Exhaling tired, Erwin gave away a strange smile, one that at first showed there was something going on but then, all that remained was a melancholic expression on his face, close to denote guilt and sadness.
"I'd still rather for you not to" the blond replied and then grabbed his drink with his one hand, staring at its content for a couple seconds before facing the soldier again "Time is precious, Levi. You should go have some rest and forget the rest" he advised.
The soldier's jaw tensed but said nothing in return; it wasn't necessary when those tiny eyes showed the rage burning inside him.
Levi was truly mad, and she had nothing in mind to distract him, not that he gave her the time to think anyways, because from one moment to the next, he'd stood up in silence and walked to the side of the table where Erwin was, seemingly going for a good punch. But when she'd been about to jump in between to stop it, the brunette relaxed to see him actually heading to the tumult inside the place, a minor fight that most was cheering. They'd noticed when it'd started and turn a blind eye to it in order to grant the kids a bit of fun, but to their misfortune, the soldier was under a lot of emotional stress, and they'd served as the best candidates to vent his rage.
"Ooh, I don't think they'll ever forget not to act childlike when cranky Levi's around" the brunette muttered without a hint of humor; that kick, and the punch surely hurt.
"I'm sorry for them" Erwin apologized, at the same time Levi was giving the general order to clean the place "I've just upset him even more".
"Don't worry, Erwin. They know Levi" she half laughed, trying to lighten his mood on a night like this; he looked so eager and lively yet at the same time so tired "Besides, I'm to blame too for unnerving him like this. It's just that I'm glad and overexcited to see he's no longer self-imposing the isolation we've seen for years" she said wholeheartedly as she followed the Captain's moves with her eyes. Erwin did the same, and both saw him storm out of the place after getting a pint of alcohol with him.
"Guess he's not prepared to discuss that just yet" her friend commented, with a nostalgic smile.
"I know you can't say thing but tell me, is that person good for him?" she enquired, quite concerned "Levi is physically almost indestructible, but you and I know how long it took him to trust us and recover from losing his former friends. A heart as his can only take so much when this is clearly no game for him" No matter how relentless, fierce, strong, practical, and a cunning soldier he was, their friend was human, and human souls were fragile, especially the kind that never let show.
"I don't know what the future will hold for all of us but rest easy…" the Commander said, looking around the place and how they all worked hard to comply with the orders. Levi most certainly had earned these people's respect, even fear, and that was a relief because he'd be a good ally to Hange, to whom he was staring now "The fact that he let her in is enough to understand she's no ordinary woman. I'm sure there'll be a day when you'll see it with your own eyes" he assured with a warm smile.
The brunette smiled optimistic as she grabbed her glass of water with enthusiasm, encouraging Erwin to do the same with his drink. And without saying more, they honored this long journey together and everything else with a quiet toast.
At that moment, she had no clue he felt a bit guilty for the conversation he had with Moblit hours earlier; how he filled him in with certain instructions, such as entrusting his personal journal, the one that only contained information of this and that, so she could make her own decisions if he perished. The officer said he'd keep it somewhere safe in his own room, till their return; either to give it to her, or back to him, and the hopeful expression in his face was so similar to his comrade seconds ago, for he honestly wished this wasn't the end of his path. He also took advantage of emphasizing that Hange had to be his number one priority during the mission, although that last command was unnecessary; the guy's love for her compelled him to protect her at all costs anyways. But she was the Scout's future, and losing both wasn't a valid option, so he had to say it regardless.
After giving the order to have that place spotless, he retired without turning to his friends or he'd get even more pissed to see that compassionate expression in Erwin's face.
Feeling restless and enraged, he didn't even worried if he'd been too hard on the brats. They were breathing fine when he left anyways, and even managed to move, well, assisted but still, not unconscious so they were fine.
Distress as he was, Levi sighed and kept wandering that empty alley with that stupid mug of ale in his hand, trying to find a quiet place to drink the bloody thing in silence. Fortunately, a couple steps ahead he finally found a small warehouse that seemed empty, the same a cat was now leaving through a window on the second floor and hadn't been closed. The soldier left the drink on the floor, right beside the entrance, and climbing the continuous building, he jumped towards the opening quite easily. Once inside, he looked around to make sure all was cleared, and then went downstairs, where he decided to stay by the door in case the owner returned. Not to mention the weather was still somewhat hot so, he opened the door, took the beverage in his hand and with his back to the entrance wall, he sat on the floor without entirely closing the main door.
You're one big, reckless asshole, Erwin, he said as he glanced to the amber liquid inside the small container, still furious at him for not backing out of the shitty decision to go with them. He was purposely signing a death sentence without thinking about the consequences. To make it worse, this whole situation was way too similar to that one last day with Isabel and Furlan, how they asked him to trust they'd be fine, but things went terribly wrong, and though he'd come to accept they were dead out of the choices they made freely, Erwin was still alive, and preventing his dead was possible but the idiot refused.
Fuming and discouraged, he'd been about to gulp his beer as if he could drown all these emotions inside, but the thing never reached his mouth because at that very moment, he froze at the sound of people coming closer; three voices he recognized, and to his bad luck, they decided staying nearby to have their stupid conversation.
He'd have honestly got up and left but knew he wouldn't go unnoticed, not by Mikasa at least, so despite his grouchiness, Levi remained there and listened; not having much of a choice.
The soldier never turned their way. It wasn't necessary when he could sense how sincere they were to each other, so he kept listening carefully, specially to something Eren had said that bugged him. Jealous of us? he repeated, scoffing at his delusional confession. The fact that Mikasa and him did not literally turn into giant forces of destruction didn't mean they weren't capable of the same. So, in the end, they were as much of a monster as the brat himself, but of course, his childish idealization of them stopped him from seeing clearer. The only thing he was glad about was the fact that he'd come to understand the importance of each role in this fight. Hadn't he been in such a bad mood, he'd actually daresay he was somewhat proud to see Eren had matured a little at least.
Leaving the pint on the floor beside him, the man sighed tired and remained there quietly, with his arms around his knees and a vacant stare, somewhat worried for these brats, whose innocence managed to survive despite the shit they'd seen already. What he hadn't foreseen was the way he started to feel as he continued to hear them talk like this, unconsciously helping him ease his inner turmoil as this somehow brought back those days of his youth alongside his friends in the Underground city. Reminding him of how they teamed up to move forward, sharing the common dream of escaping that shithole together; basically, the same thing Armin, Mikasa and Eren were doing right now.
It all seemed so distant now, because that dream and a big part of him had died with them, and that had been the reason he decided to continue without one of his own, depriving himself from wishing for anything when they couldn't, as some sort of unconscious punishment for what happened to them. He lived that way for years, feeling miserable but accepting it either way, until he met her. And bit by bit, among many other things, Elia showed him there was always room for forgiveness; not by them, but him. Because the bond they had was the best proof that they never would have held him responsible for what happened. Therefore, he could perfectly go on fighting to give meaning to their deaths without forgetting to live.
He'd been so self-absorbed that didn't even notice when they left, so after checking there was no one else around, and knowing his anger had been momentarily sedated, the soldier left the drink onto the nearest table and walked out of there, heading to the one place, or more like the one person, that would give him true peace of mind; whom he wanted to spend that night with, maybe for the last time.
Unlike other nights, he didn't go back to his room to get a cape. It wasn't even chilly so why bother; the city streets were almost deserted and as silent as a church anyways. Once outside the building, Levi looked to the roof and then sneaked up, using the emergency stairs he knew by heart. When he got to the top, and as he passed by her humble garden, he couldn't help stopping for a moment to appreciate the beauty of the many plants and flowers she'd grown in flowerpots. All of them neatly organized onto a couple small, wooden ladder shelves she'd built and painted, well, he'd helped with one, but she did the rest. Contemplating this got him wondering how it'd be like to see her fulfill her own dream to live in a house where she could tend to a real garden, cultivating the land around for different purposes. It was such a simple thing, but he still found it a beautiful aspiration; he could even picture everything in his head, or her happy expression to be more precise, but he suddenly froze, realizing how close he'd been to find himself wishing to see it happen, and that was unacceptable; Elia was the only dream he'd allowed himself to have, in his present, and he needed no more. Conversely, if he had to think about the future, his main objective was the only plausible option not to fail the promise he'd made to all of them, so he'd stick to it no matter what, even if that meant never seeing her again. That hurt, of course it did, but if this bloodshed came to end, it'd be all worth it; giving people like her a future was also among the things he wanted now. And for that, he had to fight.
Inhaling deep, the Captain looked heavenward and focused on the crescent moon and the couple stars at sight to placate his thoughts and light up his mood before knocking on her door.
"Umm, what are we staring at?" he heard her unmistakable voice very close, and when he looked to his left, she was there beside him.
Visibly taken by surprise, and slightly upset at his state of mind for not paying attention to his surroundings, he stared at her, tight-lipped.
"You better not be thinking about scolding me for coming outside without the kitchen knife in my hands. I knew it was you" she warned, putting her hands on her hips.
Levi snorted, both defeated and exasperated but also amused, remembering his training had made her stealthier. Not to mention her presence wasn't threatening so it made sense he hadn't sensed it.
"Doesn't matter. Coming outside unarmed is a careless move, and not what I taught you" he said in a scathing tone and stood there with his arms folded.
"I knew it! But just so you know, I have one of your knives on my thigh, Captain" she counterattacked, chin up "As I recall, my advantage was to keep it a secret, wasn't it?" the healer briefly squinted her eyes at him, but then grabbed one of his hands to lead him inside the house, not giving him time to glance down to see where the object was.
Levi stopped for a second, getting a curious look from her. He could have sworn he'd seen her blush, but it was hard to tell out there in the dark.
"Something's troubling you" he said, getting suspicious "What is it?"
"Nothing. I just thought you wouldn't come until later" she changed the subject; he was sure of it.
"I can come back later if you want," he offered, raising an eyebrow. They were right in front of the entrance door now.
He watched the woman pressing her lips together into a slight frown, and squint as she shook her head to the suggestion. A response he liked quite a lot, but it was quickly replaced by another, one that made his heart flutter when he pulled her closer and she couldn't repress that smile, of pure bliss, he always looked forward to seeing on his return.
"Come on, let's get in. Mosquitos season, remember?" she let go of his hand and instinctively rubbed her naked arms as she walked inside, followed by him.
Only then, under the candle lights on the walls and two extra crystals hanging from the ceiling, he noted she looked different in an unusual set of clothes, for she was wearing an ivory t-shirt tucked into a long, umber skirt. And instead of a braid, she'd fixed her hair in a sober low bun that made her look a little older. He'd probably been staring too intently at it because her cheeks turned red, though she tried to hide it.
"Have you dinned already?" the woman enquired, moving behind him to close the door he'd forgot about.
"Yeah. How about you?" he said, distracted now by a subtle sweet scent in the air "What's that smell?
"I finished like two minutes before I saw you outside" she replied, gesturing at the table, which she hadn't yet picked up "What smell?"
"Dunno" he replied, sniffing the atmosphere while she walked towards the table "It's relaxing".
Elia answered the question with a shrug, and then proceeded to collect the dirty dishes on a tray.
"Do you want some tea? I was going to boil water now".
"Hell, yes! I've been craving some since dinner" the soldier commented as he followed her into the kitchen, where he took over the task, feeling as comfortable as ever in there "What's up with the fancy clothes? Are you going out tonight?"
"You never beat around the bush, don't you?" she chuckled and put the apron on to do the dishes "But no, not really".
"Then why the change?" he knew it'd take a couple minutes for the water to boil, so he leant his shoulder on the opposite wall to the door and crossed his arms, waiting for an answer "Haven't seen you wear something like this since that evening after the coronation" he commented, with a quizzical expression.
"I guess I wanted to look a little different tonight. Better, I guess" he knew she was being honest but kept something for herself still. And it didn't help that she wasn't facing him, concentrated in her chores.
"Better?" he asked in a farcical tone "Did you hit your head this morning? What's that supposed to mean?"
"C'mon, Levi. Do you really want me to say it?" Elia enquired, incredibly self-conscious now.
"Huh?" the soldier tilted his head, really lost. But knew she'd given up; he heard her sigh hard as she turned her face to him.
"I just wanted to look pretty today" she looked away for a moment, but her cheeks were undeniably red, making her look even more appealing.
"You're wasting your time," he uttered, wanting to distract himself from overthinking but it was too late; she looked ravishing, and to envision others could see such thing… the soldier shook his head and quickly retrieved the cups from inside the cabinet, along with the old trivet, to take them to the dining room, oblivious to her bewilderment.
"And why is that?" she asked, imagining there was more to his words considering how unorthodox he was in general.
"You look alright all the time so it's pointless" he replied before leaving the room, as usual, not mincing his words but he'd really meant that.
Levi hated the thought of her not going unnoticed by others; pigs who'd surely fantasize about her and that made his blood boil. It was a fortune he'd already placed the objects on the surface of the table, or he'd have broken them in his anger. Don't you ruin tonight… his mind cautioned in a threatening hiss.
At the sound of a familiar whistling, he got back to the kitchen for the kettle, noting she was about to finish rinsing everything so he stood beside the stove in silence.
"I have no intentions of arguing with you" her soft voice sounded serene, but something told him there was a hint of sadness hidden there "I tried this out and liked it, so I wondered what you might think, hoping you did too. It was fine if you didn't, but I never thought you'd be peeved about it" Elia had been about to tell him she'd wear those outside and not in his presence then, but that'd only make things worse.
"Never said I didn't like it" he frowned, mostly at himself, for doing exactly what his head warned him not to do "I won't ever tell you what to wear, but don't expect me to enjoy the idea of others seeing you like this..." he blurted out and got angrier to see her eyes had opened wide in response. He averted his and went to fetch the kettle to step out of there, giving her no time to talk.
Tickled by the fact that they were discussing such banality, she sighed feeling better although not entirely amused for how silly he was, torturing himself like that. It was true that pants, and a blouse under a sweater would always be her favorite, her comfort zone, but trying new things occasionally to look nicer was alright too. Look at the bright side; this ridiculous discussion serves as a good distraction; it has nothing to do with titans and the war… her mind said, hoping it was right but in view of the fact that he hadn't returned to the kitchen, she continued to pile everything on the dish rack to drip-dry, granting him enough time to cool down.
Pissed off, he prepared the teacups in an attempt to distract himself but finished too soon, so he simply sat to wait, fixing his eyes on the empty chair at the opposite side of him. No one else was looking at her tonight but you, you moron, the voice in his head berated as he thought about what she'd said, feeling also ashamed for allowing his demons to take over him. Elia never sought attention nor validation from others but still cared about the opinion of those she cared for. And she did this for you… yeah, that's exactly why he couldn't go back there to excuse his behavior when it was mere stupidity. It's a shame she won't even consider kicking your sorry-ass face for being a jerk, his inner self commented ironically, to what he grunted and looked away.
By the time she finished her chores, Elia took the apron off and finally went to meet him but stopped for a moment at the entrance of the hallway. He was sitting in his usual spot, right across her seat, arms folded, dead silent, and with a glazed expression as he stared to her window, apparently fuming. An intimidating prospect for most people but not to her; especially now that she noted his tea was intact, meaning he'd been waiting for her.
Absorbed in his ruminations and everything, the soldier still got to hear her footsteps approaching; he'd been waiting for them, ready to accept whatever punishment she dictated. But from one moment to the next, what he got instead were her slender arms surrounding his neck from behind, bewitching him with that magnificent, floral fragrance he liked so much. He got chills when he perceived her cheek against his, brushing his skin ever so gently.
"You're such a cunning man and yet you can be so ridiculous sometimes, Levi" she muttered, benevolent and amused, but then her tone changed to a conciliatory one "But since I didn't express myself clearly, I come to explain that I only wanted to look nicer for you" he'd figured that too late but what shocked him was hearing her apologize when he'd been the asshole here. He desperately wanted to look her in the eye, but she was resting her chin on his shoulder while still hugging him "Please don't. Not yet" of course, she understood what he wanted.
"This is driving me nuts, Elia. Let me see you" he demanded.
"Wait, just a little. I'm trying to be honest but you're making me nervous, and I can't find the words".
"You? Nervous?" he asked, skeptical. She always had a way with words he admired, so this made no sense and he tried once again to see her face, but she didn't let him.
"We're going to need to work on your patience, huh" she said sarcastically and then snickered "I'm sure I won't be able to hold you still next time, but given I can't find a better way to put it, truth is, it was all about seducing you tonight, Captain".
Levi exhaled quite exasperated, unable to be angry at the sincerity in each word despite finding her objective incredibly stupid, though deep down he couldn't deny he'd liked it.
"That's idiotic. And unnecessary" he stated, now enjoying the hold she had of him as he observed the steam emanating from her cup, as soothing as her touch "You're always so damn attractive that it's annoying, for I constantly fight my cock that tries to take over when you're around" he confessed, "I get to win because fucking you senseless is not the only thing I want with you, Elia. But here you are, screwing with my sanity and enjoying it" he grumbled, looking away.
The healer smiled and tightened her embrace before planting a light kiss on the back of his head when she let go of him, dumbfounding the man. But of course, she soon after heard his unmistakable tch! when she focused on grabbing the honeypot to sweeten her beverage, ignoring the blush he tried to hide by drinking some of his tea.
"We could have dined together had I known you'd be here earlier" she said, stirring her tea and then left the spoon aside, to place her hands around the cup, as she often did "Wasn't prepared for it, but I know you wouldn't have minded" she commented with an apologetic smile.
It was a gesture that also displayed a certain melancholy, but she quickly disguised it; Elia didn't want to make this difficult for him. She'd mentally prepared herself to keep sadness at bay and only allow the man to see her faith, gratitude, and affection tonight.
"It's fine. We ate an hour earlier due to a farewell surprise… that turned into an absolute pain in the ass afterwards" he remarked, rolling his eyes at the unpleasant memory.
"A surprise is usually a good thing, yet you make it sound like it's no treat at all" she said in a cheerful mood.
"The food was alright but would have been better if that bunch of idiots didn't act like beasts over it" he griped, but when he saw her tilting her head in response, he breathed tiredly and answered, "Reeves' Company donated several pounds of meat for tonight's diner".
"Oh, I see" pensive, Elia nodded slowly, but then she took a sip of her tea and half-smiled "Is good to hear old Dimo's son has changed for better".
"So it seems" he conceded, remembering the jumpy dimwit he'd met during Reiss' conflict; that guy never would have given something that valuable for free, let alone to them. But Elia was right, and the experience changed him.
"Was it good?" she leaned forward, resting her elbows and forearms on the table, eager to hear the story "Potato girl... She must have been euphoric".
Whilst they usually didn't discuss military issues, the thing he mostly shared concerning his work were stories about his life as an officer, which obviously involved the brats. Kids he cared for, but since he didn't have the luxury of ensuring their survival, his only option had been to teach them as much as he could so they could fight. Sure, sometimes he felt like choking them, but the impulse at least wasn't permanent. Besides, they'd grown a lot over the past months, making him secretly proud, and Elia knew all that.
"Agh, those little shits…" he snorted, feeling embarrassed "If we weren't leaving tomorrow, I'd be teaching them manners now" Taking the cup to his lips, he drank all its content and breathed out, tiredly "Connie and Eren had to tie Sasha; at some point, the brat thought they were part of the menu and bit Jean" he shared with a frown "She nearly got a chunk of his flesh".
Elia covered her mouth with both hands, trying to suppress her laughter. Fixing her attention on his reproving glare at least helped.
"I know this is war but they're still just fifteen, Captain" she reminded as she refilled his cup "They probably needed to act childlike tonight, to precisely not think about what tomorrow will bring".
"They are fifteen, yes, but good or bad, they're also soldiers and one of my responsibilities is to strengthen and discipline them, to sharpen their minds so they survive" he said, observing the way she unconsciously gnawed her thumb, a bit anxious but still, she nodded in understanding "Don't worry, I did cut them some slack for a while. Although they ruined it when they decided to start a fight in the middle of the mess hall" Levi shared, and she knew what that meant. She just hoped he hadn't been too hard.
"Did you send them to bed after that?" drinking her tea.
"And reward them for acting like dimwits? Hell no" he said, taking a look at the clock on the wall "They should be about to finish cleaning up the mess by now" he added.
The healer relaxed, comprehending something like a fight needed to be corrected. In any case, they knew how severe Levi was, so doing something like that in his presence… they should have known better.
She watched him for a moment, noticing he seemed emotionally taut now, as if he'd recalled something particularly bothersome.
"I'm glad it wasn't that bad but I'm not blind to how tense you're. That posture gives you away" she claimed, and the furrowed eyebrows in response confirmed it "How did things go?" she enquired, and in response to his mutism, she added "I gather you got to talk to him today, didn't you?".
Why isn't this surprising… his inner self snorted, aware that she'd perceived his uneasiness from the previous night, seeing right through him when he asked why the hell she approved Erwin's case. Albeit she couldn't provide details, the healer answered his friend was firmly resolved to participate in the expedition, recurring to a special clearance, granted by the Queen, if necessary.
"A total waste of time" he voiced, recalling the situation after that final strategy meeting with the high commands "Erwin refuses to stay. Not even threats made him reconsider" he mentioned, dejectedly.
"I'd have been surprised had you convinced him. He's truly determined to be part of this mission" she stared at the empty cup in her hands, trying to put her finger on an image she couldn't stop brooding about "I don't know but during his medical, there was a brief moment he had a strange kind of glow in his eyes, as if he saw something no one else could".
"Yeah well, you get used to that around him" he said with irony, following her gaze to the small object on the table, as she distractedly rubbed the rim of it with the tip of her index "Erwin certainly knows more than he shows, which is smart. The issue with him is that he often forgets he still bleeds".
"Don't you trust his judgment?" she inquired, and Levi looked up; his eyes flickered with certain resentment but then he understood what she really meant. Elia was asking if he truly thought his decision was, indeed, a bad one for the mission.
"I don't trust his survival," he admitted, averting his eyes to the darkness outside, the same that wanted to devour all light, all hope. And in a place he felt safe to let his guard down, the soldier couldn't help his discouragement after so much deaths, particularly over the past months "I think he's offering himself up on a silver platter and doesn't even care as long as we make it to that damned basement".
Elia contemplated the soldier for a couple minutes, sad to see this was like seeing herself that day she talked to Ilva for the last time, comprehending what troubled him. She knew he feared for the Scouts future, but what prevailed over that was the fear to have his friend forever gone.
"You know him better than I, but I believe there's more to it, Levi" she wanted to cover his hand with hers, but the bafflement in him told her to better wait "Commander Erwin is fully aware of his situation, but the possibility of ending this war is what he'd worked for most of his life. And to grasp that goal this close… it makes sense he'll give it all to see it through. His life included".
"That's a stupid decision because Hange is also capable. She'd follow his plan thoroughly" the healer saw true vexation in those blue eyes she adored, and that wasn't good; she needed to help him appease his mind before going into battle.
"That's not the debate. I know she is but putting her in charge of this crucial mission when the true Commander of the Legion is alive, I'm afraid that'd be a bad call" she'd been about to touch his right hand, resting beside his empty teacup, but he leant back on his chair, folding his arms, and looked away once again, visibly annoyed by her words. She continued regardless "Whether we like it or not, doing that sends the wrong message, Levi".
"It doesn't make sense. No one has ever been this committed to the cause as he has" the soldier retorted, getting her point but not sharing it "There's a reason why he's known to be a reckless fanatic among all ranks... which is partly true, but his ideas and decisions had given results" he emphasized.
"You just proved my point, but I'll get to that soon" she said, and inhaled deep "It doesn't make sense to you because you're one of the people who know him best but what about the others, cadets or soldiers that don't agree with his methods? Let's not forget not everyone joined your division by choice" Elia reached out and got a hold of his chin, the one she gently turned to see him in the eye. At first, he'd stared at her pretty bugged, but when he noticed how grave and concerned she looked, the anger vanished "Do you think they'd go there, with the same conviction and ready to surrender their lives when they see that their leader stays behind?"
The soldier's eyes opened wide for a moment, but then his forehead puckered and his jaw set, undoubtedly displeased to hear that. She hit the nail on the head, and you know it, his inner voice indicated, right before he closed his eyes for a minute to accept it.
"I could not lay my life down like that, over mere instructions from someone that isn't playing his role. It may be an excellent plan, but you know well we're in disadvantage here; the enemy has been provided with important intel about all of you for months, so they'll be ready. That's why you and every soldier need him there, Levi. His brilliant mind is a significant asset, not to mention how reassuring and inspiring his presence is. When you bear all that, you see why he must go".
"What if he dies?" the soldier muttered, glancing up to the ceiling. His body felt a lot less tense now, but the depressed state remained nonetheless.
"To fear your own death or someone you hold dear is no way to live. Truth is that nobody knows what might occur, so it's pointless to torture yourself with that question" Elia's caring, empathetic tone told how serious she was. And he knew she sincerely understood; after all, she made the hardest choice when she decided to look after her sister, well aware of her imminent dead.
"It's hard to believe he'll make it given his limitations but you're right" he agreed, realizing he'd been wrong to feed the anxiety of losing his friend, forgetting he was Commander Erwin Smith, a highly capable military leader that was prepared to do whatever it took to accomplish their mission "About that and changing his mind; it'd have been quite an event" he commented, disappointed.
Still frustrated, Levi inhaled and exhaled slowly to just let all go; all but the hand that had reached over the table to offer more than he ever deserved. He looked up and all inside him rejoiced at the sight of her; the peaceful expression on her face, those candid eyes and the reassuring smile that formed on her lips, managing to comfort him as much as her reasoning. He reached out to her and interlaced their fingers, embracing her caring ways, understanding how desperately he'd needed this; because her gesture, simple as it was, somehow felt like a breath of fresh air after a lifetime living in a dump like the place he grew up.
"Had that worked, you'd have just bought him time, not saved him, Levi" she said, somewhat doleful, and gave a gentle squeeze to his hand "I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but rather realistic because that's what you taught me. So, him not going would have affected the soldiers' morale, leading to a possible defeat, to Eren's kidnap, and the perish of all of you, our only hope. Therefore, in a case like that, what's left for him to do or command once the enemy decided to strike here?"
Speechless and perplexed, Levi stared at Elia in silence for like a whole minute, sizing her up and trying to find any flaws in her logic but she was fucking right. And hell, he'd be lying to say he wasn't proud of her!
Without letting go of her hand, the soldier stood up from his chair and walked towards her with an undecipherable expression as she observed him with nothing but quiet admiration. When he got to right next to her, he helped her stand in silence, and after staring to each other's eyes for a couple seconds, he leaned his forehead on hers and lowered his eyelids for a while, enjoying the closeness as well as the vibrating energy between them.
"What are you thinking, Captain?" he heard her whisper and felt her other hand, small and warm, in his chest.
"Right now, I'm merely enjoying this" he muttered, covering that hand with his own "To this day, I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you're real".
"Don't do that, Levi" she asked, reading between the lines, to the farewell hidden there. He opened his eyes and found resolve, passion, and kindness in hers "That's not us".
Us, she said and once again, he felt his heart flutter, to that and her touch.
"Say goodbye?" the mocking tone at least made her smile. He was feeling the urge to kiss her, but he was alright with this for now, especially after the way she helped him see things clearer, appeasing his rage, helping him focus on the big picture "Not a chance".
"Good" she declared, caressing his hand with so much tenderness.
"I also keep wondering how the hell you're not even thirty when sometimes you sound this old" that earned him a pinch on his forearm, but the smile she had now was contagious and he found himself smirking in return.
"Come on, Captain. Let's clean this up and call it a night" the quick peep to his mouth was her flirting with him now, yet she was clever enough not to go all the way to kiss him, knowing there'd be no stopping after that.
"Sure. Just, don't count on sleeping tonight" Levi forewarned, liking the blush on her cheeks when she separated. He saw her lift the tray to start carrying things into the kitchen, but he gracefully took it off her hands "I've got this" he assured, getting more serious now, so she could go change.
Nodding once in acceptance and gratitude, the healer headed to the bathroom followed by him, only he turned to enter the kitchen instead.
As he rinsed things, the soldier meditated on their recent conversation, truly glad for her help but above all, for having her, and in such tranquil state of mind; it made things so easier for both.
He actually couldn't help an ironic smile; he always believed bonding this deep wasn't a realistic shit, not at least for rats like him, as Kenny claimed, assuring this was for the weak. But after experiencing it with somebody like her, who never asked for anything in return and wholeheartedly believed in him and what he fought for, well, that made a huge difference. Because without a doubt, Elia had become the moment of the day, of his life, in which light took over, bathing him with its warmth, beauty and the joy of the closest thing to a normal life he never aspired to. And even if he didn't deserve it, he would have her because he needed her.
Little after starting to remove the few hairpins holding the locks of hair that escaped the bun, and as she stood in front of the mirror, the healer couldn't help thinking these may be their last hours together, yet she hadn't allowed that to take a toll on her to end up feeling heavy-hearted. Crying wasn't an option, firstly, because it wouldn't be fair to him with all the stress he already had in relation to Commander Erwin. And secondly, because she'd been truthful about living in fear of death; it was why she was determined not to shed a tear unless she had a real reason to. Right now, Levi was very much alive, in her kitchen, and wanted to be with her, so being her normal self around him was the best and only choice.
Whilst it wasn't a night or day like the others, it was still as unique, and that had been the reason she'd wanted to look prettier. That sounds stupid, well, she knew Ilva would have said that, and her past-self would have agreed, but being with him changed things. There was a physiologic explanation behind it, but to make it simpler, she'd just felt like being more feminine on this occasion to delight him. That didn't work out so well... her inner voice made fun of her, but given this was Levi, his displease wasn't surprising, not after how territorial he was about some things; so, looking prettier was definitely not of his liking, not when that'd drag unwanted attention. Yeah, but he finds you attractive all the time, and that's far better, her mind pointed out, making her smile because it was the truth; her appearance, conversations, cooking skills, and many other things, including their encounters, were all special, that was why he thought this was foolish and unnecessary.
She chuckled, reliving the scene in her head, wondering how could she not respect this man when he was this transparent? He was always himself, with his many qualities but the imperfections right there to see too; no matter how sullen, hard, and rough he was sometimes, Levi Ackerman was also honest, in fact, brutally honest, loyal, committed, forthright, perseverant, trustworthy, brave, empathetic, and humane, though the last two not many knew about. He could have turned out to be a monster, considering the hardships, pain, and loneliness experienced from a young age, but it was the opposite and that only deepened her feelings for him. I'm telling you, he's the best… she suddenly heard the echo of Ilva's voice in her head, and despite knowing she wasn't there, the healer still glanced around, wishing to find the girl. She stopped when she saw her reflection in the mirror, recalling those words came from a distant memory, one that brought the image of her sister's cheerful, confident face staring back at her briefly.
"And you were right, sis" the woman muttered, sighing melancholic though at peace, remembering the promise he'd made, to her, his friends, Petra, and the many comrades lost along the way. He won't ever leave you all to die in vain, she thought, knowing it was another reason why she'd never ask him to stay or quit; that'd be like betraying the man she wholeheartedly supported and believed in.
Taking a deep breath, she got back to her stuff, reaching out to the corner cabinet to look for the hairbrush, but when her hand found nothing there, she reminded leaving it onto the dresser in her room, so she went there in search for her mother's hairband. Contemplating that piece of furniture had gotten her distracted enough to forget the object there. Why? Because of the memory of that first evening spent together, when she decided to give herself to him; a decision she never once regretted.
Feeling lighter, Elia opened the door and walked to her bedroom, imagining the soldier was already there since no sound came from the kitchen. But right before turning to get inside her room, she glimpsed a flash of movement to her left and from one moment to the next, Levi was blocking the way, leaning on the doorframe, and the dark shade of blue in those piercing eyes were practically screaming the thoughts in his head. Her face flushed hard at the intensity of his gaze, which he took as his sign to move in her direction, and a corner of his mouth lifted in satisfaction when he saw her moving backwards, not scared but too stunned to speak.
The instant she felt the wall behind her, he stopped right in front of her and grabbed her chin with his hand, and in that brief gasp of surprise, Levi took his chance and crushed her lips avidly, sticking his tongue inside her mouth with urgency, groaning when she grabbed him by his t-shirt and responded with equal vehemence.
"Thought you were having trouble on getting rid of solid waste from your bowels. Either that or you fell asleep on the toilet" he said after such exquisite moment, squinting his eyes at her, without letting go of her face yet "Unless you purposely had me waiting this long to drive me insane" he complained with a deep voice, admiring the sparkle of mischief in her gaze as she put both arms around his neck and chuckled.
"Me? No, no, Captain. But I apologize for losing the track of time" Elia responded with an innocent expression, yet she was unable to stop the shiver running down her spine when he cornered her and placed the other hand on her lower back to pull her closer.
"Yes, you, and I'm not letting you get away with it" he declared, frowning mad, though not at her but the waiting.
"Pardon me, but I think I already have" she gloated, licking her lips to insinuate how much she enjoyed the assault, wanting so much more.
Sharp as he was, Levi got that way too well, and that was giving him trouble to control his cock, that was doing most of the thinking right now. He yearned to kiss her like a fucking lunatic, to feel that hectic exchange of desire again, one that led him to believe it'd been months without seeing her. Which he did as soon as she half smiled.
"God, I needed to have you like this!" he roared when they paused to catch their breaths, not entirely happy for that "You have no idea what it does to me to see you, your body, reacting like this to my proximity" she knew he referred to her trembling but also her own firm hold of him.
"Fun fact is, you rarely need much to cause it" she confessed and then took his face with both hands, staring at him intently, amused to see he furrowed his brow.
"Oi, I wasn't joking".
"Neither was I" she simply slid the tip of her thumb over his breathtaking lips and gave him one of those charming smiles that were highly enticing "The way you were staring at me a minute ago, so fierce, and resolute… that was one of those moments, Captain. I'm sure I even blushed, but you tell me".
"I frequently wonder if my skull hasn't cracked and I'm delusional, or if I'm just one lucky bastard, because this is too good" Levi said, touching the locks of hair she'd loosened in the bathroom, enthralled by the smooth sensation of her silky hair in his fingers "But then I realize I give a fuck as long as I have you, even if it's my imagination".
"Perhaps we're both deranged" Elia offered, bringing him closer. She nuzzled the tip of his nose both playful and sensual, always inviting him "That being the case, I'd have no right to judge you".
"Oh, but you have that right. I give it to you now" the soldier uttered, looking inside her eyes, somehow knowing they've been having a private conversation this whole time "And you should definitely judge me harshly for what I'm currently thinking".
"No need. I can see it in your eyes, Levi" the healer stated, following his lead with a defiant look.
"And you're not running?"
"Why would I, when I like what they say"
"Tell me what they say then" the man muttered, leading her on.
"That you'd like to devour me" the way she raised one of her eyebrows was extraordinarily provocative "I'm just wondering what's stopping you".
Levi tightened the grip of her body and kissed her again, deeper, and longer, to lose himself in the sweet taste of her mouth for a while. The best part was that the heat of her tongue, dancing with his, told him he wasn't alone in the eager for more; he felt her desire, need and longing for him, and despite it wasn't their first encounter, his body vibrated in anticipation as much as that day, when he gawked at the sight of her naked body, the one she wanted him to touch. He'd considered her beautiful and sexy back then, and such perception had only accentuated within time and their exploration of one another. But to him, to contemplate her was like admiring those magnificent landscapes on his first expedition, discovering a bit of true freedom in the soft curves of her body; so full of life and natural grace that it was mind-blowing.
Feeling her hands on him was something else entirely, just like now that they were trailing the lines of his arms, clearly intending to get rid of his shirt but he had something else in mind. His hands moved fast and held her wrists before she could do anything, to what she opened her eyes and put a bit of distance between them, quite surprised.
"Feel free to punch me once I release you, or trust me with an idea a just had" he offered, secretly delighted by the frustration on her face "You may like it".
"Care to share it?" she asked as she tried to break free, but he had a firm grip of her hands behind her back "C'mon, Captain. Don't deprive me this pleasure" she whispered, grazing his lips with hers in an attempt to distract him but Levi was persistent.
"Not my fault. You must take responsibility of your decision to wear these" he said, looking at her from head to toes, momentarily letting go of one of her hands to play with the fabric of her skirt, and observed her watching, attentive to his words "Imagine we're somewhere else, in a crowded place like the one during the celebration long ago. We cannot talk freely but I look in your eyes and see exactly what I'm seeing now" he said, and she stared at him, dying for him to continue "I like it, specially knowing the entrance between your legs is starting to pulse, getting wet because you see in my face how much I want you too. But I can't stay because it's getting hard to conceal it, so I walk away but you discreetly follow me after wishing everyone a good night. I go inside a random place; a library, a warehouse, a store, it doesn't matter as long as there's nobody else. So, I wait there, because I can sense your presence close behind, and the instant you walk in, I lock the door to trap you there with me. And this wall behind you is exactly as the one I push you to…" the soldier paused with a devilish smile, intending to recreate what he was about to say "…without wasting time and no need to get naked, we start playing our little games, taking a couple minutes to make them last, and without any warning, all I know is that I'm pushing myself inside you, over and over, while everyone out there is clueless to the ecstasy we're in".
She was blushing hard, but the way she lifted her chin before a wicked smile showed up on her features, told him exactly how much she'd enjoyed his fantasy. So, grabbing her wrists once more to imprison her, Levi pushed her body to the wall very slowly and stole another kiss, marveled at how she almost swoon, elated in his arms.
"You know, Captain, I do appreciate my privacy, and never been prone to exhibitionism, but for some reason, I wouldn't mind if people saw us in that sort of situation; they could be staring at us now and all I'd care about is that I'm with you" she whispered, delighted by the images in her head as he ardently kissed her, grinning in his mouth when the soldier let go of her hands to grab her bum without pausing this intense make out session.
"You may not, but I do" he declared, barely separating from her but the earnest tone he used told he'd meant that "You're mine, Elia Stoltz. And I hate the thought of anyone seeing you, clothes, or no clothes. They'll lose more than their sight if they dare to try" he said in a raspy voice.
Right then, he pressed the space between her legs with his thigh, simulating the thrusts he was eager to give her. And as usual, her response was maddening; he watched her shut her eyes closed and rubbed herself very slowly against it, trying to hold back a whine, unsuccessfully.
"If I didn't know you don't see me as an object, you'd be in big trouble, Captain Levi" she replied after a while, with a haughty smile.
Giving her one last hard push with his leg, he lowered it and got closer to kiss the base of her neck, thrilled at the heavy way her chest went up and down in response. But above all, how her hands slid under his shirt to probe the skin of his back, until they reached the top of his dorsal muscles, and just like that, he felt her burying her nails there. Without moving away from her neck, Levi closed his eyes and stopped for a few seconds, clenching his teeth to enjoy the pain that'd leave marks, needing more; so much that sometimes got surprised to find himself hoping she made him bleed, but after giving some thoughts to it, realized it all came down to his desire to feel human in Elia's arms.
"I'd never treat you as such" he went up to claim her parted lips, to kiss her with deliberate calm as she moved her delicate hands to his hips, holding him firmly.
"I know" the healer mumbled when he released her mouth, running his lips along the line of her jaw "And I truly like hearing you say I'm yours, but the rest is, as you'd say, unnecessary. Especially when we're like this".
The soldier started to move to her attractive clavicle, sliding his tongue over the area very slow. When he found the spot between her shoulder and neck, Levi experienced the desperate wish to leave a mark. So, placing his lips there, he started to gently suck in some skin for around half a minute, glad to see she was so into it, or so said the repetitive, low moans escaping her mouth and the strong pounding of her pulse.
"Beg to differ but you're so irritatingly desirable that it drives me nuts".
As soon as he said that, Levi intensified the suction, taking longer, varying from that to nibbling and then some biting, aware of the pleasurable pain he was inflicting on her. He couldn't help growling when, after one last, long suck, she lifted her left leg and surrounded his hip with it, evidently craving the sensation of his groin against her mound, to what his right hand automatically reacted, tracing down her magnificent silhouette before holding her thigh and decisively lifted it up to obey her wish, applying pressure as he hid his face in the base of her neck, enjoying the way she gulped and trembled.
"No one could possibly want me as you do, because no one has had me as you have, Levi" the healer stated, hugging herself to him as he trailed kisses back to her mouth.
"You will always belong to me, Elia" the soldier stopped for a moment as he bore into her eyes to let her see how bad he needed her "Even if I die" he added, dead serious.
The healer moved her hands to his head and stroke his hair gently for a little while, only to leave a soft peck on his lips afterwards, giving away a soothing smile to the ferocity in his face.
"We don't know what will happen, so don't assume you won't come back" she demanded, placing the palm of her right hand on his cheek, wanting to quiet his agitation concerning her.
"After your speech about Erwin, I thought you comprehended how high the probability is" he commented.
"And I do. I just won't torture myself with it unless it happens" Elia declared, absolutely resolute.
"Good. But I still wanted to tell you this because that is my one wish in relation to us" the man retorted stubbornly "Dead or alive, you're only mine".
"You really are the most headstrong, and foolish man I've ever met" Elia affirmed, sighing in resignation at his obstinate, angry glare, yet loving the way his arms around her body squeezed her tight. It was then she finally gave him a serene, loving smile as she caressed his cheek with her thumb "There was no need to say it. I could never want another; not because I idealize what we have like a little girl, hoping for a miracle to bring you back or anything like it. To be honest, I'd just feel incredibly dirty if someone else touched what I gave to you".
She'd have wanted to tell him she wasn't only referring to her flesh but mostly her soul, but that wasn't right; not when he'd have to leave knowing it may be the end. Besides, he'd most certainly have a ton of brand-new emotional damage to put up with in this mission, especially if his best friend died, so adding pressure seemed cruel.
"You're the one I chose, the one I want, and that won't ever change, Levi. I promise" their lips were only a few inches away from each other, he could even feel the heat of her breath on his as he repeated those words in his head, intending to immortalize the sound of her voice making such vow.
The soldier wanted to say so many things and at the same time was at a loss for words, but those striking gray eyes told him she knew so; Elia needed no promise, nor declarations of any kind because he'd made quite clear how important this is, where his need of her was far beyond carnality. He knew what it was, damn, his fucking soul was trying to shout it, but couldn't bring himself to vocalize anything; it wasn't a good time, not when she couldn't follow him into war, maybe even death. But like the miracle she was, he unexpectedly felt her mouth in his, kissing him so sweetly as she hugged him with all her strength, liberating his mind and heart of grim thoughts.
It didn't take long for unbridled passion to take over after the desperation with which they sought each another, their longing to connect, to be one. Her hands moved down, touching his genitals over the fabric of his pants, smirking in the middle of their kisses to perceive he was more than ready. So she quickly untied his trousers and open them enough to set his erection free, skimming the skin there with her fingertips when their lips separated, arousing him even more when she glanced towards it and bit her lower lip, pleased for what she'd seen.
That was his cue to act and just like in the fantasy he'd shared minutes ago, he crouched down never breaking eye contact and slid his hands under her skirt, exhilarated at how easily he got rid of her panties. Simply knowing there was nothing beneath the clothes now was so damn hot, so much that his dick urged him to move faster. So, standing up straight, he momentarily lifted the one-piece garment hanging downward from her waist, and closing the little space between them, he slightly bent his knees when she half-raised one leg up so he could guide his member inside. He couldn't even help the smug smirk at how devastatingly moist her sex was as well as her cry in response; a soft, throaty moan that expressed her contentment and pleasure.
"This is even more erotic than I thought" Elia muttered as she put her arms back around his neck, smiling dazzlingly at him when she noticed his hands on her waist, slightly lifting her up without moving her away from that wall "I actually feel so naughty right now but I'm glad you like this side of me, Captain" she said, trapping his hips with her legs.
"Tch..." he retorted, amused by the understatement and how right she was about this "Like? I'd destroy whatever's in my way just to have you like this" as soon as he said that, his hands moved to her ass when he sensed her hands tangling in his hair.
He looked up to her beautiful face, her defiant, playful smile that, bit by bit, started to fade, yielding to that pure longing and lust all over her face. She lowered her head then, tantalizing his lips with hers before fully kissing him, getting rougher little before he started to thrust slow and steady, till their mouths brusquely separated, out of breath.
"Levi" she gasped, and he knew exactly what she wanted, no need to explain since he craved the same: to take her in the most indecent way and lose himself in the process.
Grunting to concentrate, he embedded her harder and harder, delighted by the way she held herself to his shoulders, never averting her eyes from his while her partly opened mouth couldn't restrain a series of moans that were incredibly seamy, and sensuous to his ears. Everything was so intense that her hair fell loose completely, making her look even more enchanting.
Elia smirked at the lustful concentration in his face and the way his eyes darkened when that happened. So, without restraining the sounds escaping her mouth, and within each shove, she continued to tighten her legs around him, savoring this and expressing in every possible way how great felt being fucked against that wall, to his mercy and begging for more.
Panting as his excitement, heart rate and libido escalated, the soldier calculated how close he was to come, and clenched his teeth, trying to hold out for as long as possible to make sure she reached her climax before him, so he went rougher inside her and the trick totally worked. The frantic manner in which Elia hugged herself to him with one arm while the other hand cradled one side of his face, trembling in anticipation, was the best proof. He watched her squeezed her eyes shut and grit her teeth to stop herself from being too loud, but to his good fortune, failed when his hands clasped her ass passionately, giving her one last, most intense, push that ended up blessing him with a gloriously large, obscene, and resounding "yes" coming from her beautiful mouth as she leaned back, kind of melting spectacularly against that wall.
Triggered by the whole scene, Levi barely required embedding her a couple times more with the same force before all of his muscles contracted and the tingling, that started in his groin, spread along his spine and rest of his body when he finally reached his point of no return; he released himself in what felt like a burst that made him groan forcefully while his entire body shuddered during the couple seconds that his ejaculation lasted, not gushing out in one go but rather coming out in steady intervals that felt way extraordinarily, to the point of making his eyes roll back and lids shut, out of the intensity and how uncontrollable the sensation was.
The soldier felt so magnificently relaxed, even slightly tired although his stamina was definitely among the things he'd never complain about, not when it allowed him to keep standing there, holding the woman he continued to desire. The same whose heated core, currently drenched with his cum, had him in ecstasy. And God, that single thought was as perfect as the moment itself! All thanks to that wondrous skirt, his dirty mind, and her enthusiasm to be with him.
"Is it just me, or does this get better and better?" he opened his eyes at the sound of her voice, still a little out of breath. When he found those eyes, glistening so beautifully, all he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss her, but both were still recovering from such stimulating encounter.
"Practice makes perfect, that's a fact. So, this surely is no exception, even more so when we're this committed" he responded.
The corners of her mouth turned up in a smile of satisfaction at his enlightenment, but mostly at his physical response when she skimmed his cheek with the back of her hand and he shivered, still too sensitive.
"Don't get me wrong, but this part is one of the things I dig the most" she professed, referring to the way his body reacted "It's hard to explain but you look so hot, cute, strong and vulnerable, all at the same time".
"Well, mine is when I see you losing control; the sounds, your expressions, and the way you abandon yourself to me… you cannot imagine how that turns me on" Elia's face reddened a bit but she still leaned in to give a peck to his lips and then laughed joyously because he trembled again.
"I'm glad I didn't rush myself into this when I was younger. Of course, I was curious, but no one ever made me want to do this. No one but you" she looked at him serious-minded, holding his gaze intently.
"I always thought sex was overrated, but the fuss about it is 100% spot-on" he confessed, recalling those days in which Furlan tried to explain how great sex was, but he always cut him off "I'm sure I'd have died a virgin had I not found you".
"No girl in the military ever made you at least curious? I mean, I know from my sister how often and normal was to see others, regardless the gender, naked and stuff" she averted her eyes for two seconds, apparently embarrassed but he could tell she was just keen to know.
Unsmiling, Levi stared at her in silence for like a whole minute before creasing his forehead.
"Your body wasn't what drew me to you" he watched the carefree expression leaving her face, thinking she probably offended him, so right before she could apologize, he pulled her closer and stole another kiss from her "Although it's the best bonus included in the whole Elia Stoltz package" he added, adoring the way she laughed as their mouths sought one another.
He wasn't a funny kind of men, like not even a little and never tried to be. Most of his talking consisted in sarcasm, scathing remarks, cursing, and no trace of humor whatsoever, yet somehow, he often managed to amuse her this much, though this time it was no mere fun but pure bliss.
"Good. That makes you the winner of a special gift, Captain".
"Sorry to burst your bubble but I'm still undergoing recovery phase" he informed, raising an eyebrow at her "I thought you could sense it given our position" he pointed out.
"What should I do then? Because I'm very much inclined to get down on my knees and taste myself on you now" she tilted her head innocently but nibbled on her bottom lip, leering at him.
He hadn't seen that coming. His pupils flared, and all of a sudden, his mouth felt dry, making him gulp to such proposition considering they were still attached to each other thanks to her legs clamped around him. But despite its current state, his sticky cock started to pulse at the image forming in his head.
"This is torture, you know?" he nagged at this irritating predicament "Commanding my one soldier to get back on its feet faster isn't part of my set of skills".
"I'll hold that thought for a while then" she declared as cool as a cucumber "There's a lot we can do in the meantime, Captain Levi" with a subtle gesture, the healer asked him to take her to her room and after squinting his eyes at her and making her chuckle, he complied "For starters, and despite I seriously enjoyed this fantasy of yours, I want you naked on my bed".
"You're one bold, sneaky woman" they continued to stare at each other's eyes while he walked there. Her hands cupped his face as if he were a treasure, and once again, he somehow knew they were having another silent conversation, because something aside from lust was glowing in her eyes, a promise of something valuable and everlasting "And the most remarkable creature I've ever met".
When he took a seat at the edge of the bed with her on top, and still inside her crevice, she grinned charmingly and got rid of her t-shirt and the inferior piece of garment in the blink of an eye, remaining only in her bra. Her hands proceeded to do the same with his shirt and then, she brought her arms back to his neck.
"Nah, I'm just the very lucky one to be forever yours" she whispered solemnly, leaving a sweet kiss on his lips, one that was as breathtaking as herself.
Without breaking the connection and as he slowly laid back on the mattress, her legs let go of him and his soft penis slithered out of her, starting to miss her already. Reminding him of reality and his departure, but even with that, it was okay. He had no idea if it was related to his cleaning obsession, but hearing her stating she'd feel dirty to be touched by someone else had been one of the best moments of his life, because she comprehended the real meaning behind his demand; it wasn't that he just loathed imagining someone else beside her. No. What he utterly rejected was the possibility of being forgotten by the one person who meant the world to him, the same who understood what he fought for, accepting the circumstances and consequences of that, but still wanted to stay beside him.
The only reason I'd stop writing this story is if I suddenly die (not planning to, but accidents and stuff do happen). Also, if the world ends (evidently), so, my sincere apologies for the delay but time and responsibilities are always the issue. u.u
About the chapter, I had to split this in two parts because it was super long and I'm still working on several things happening at this point: it's an important event in the story after all.
Namárië
