"Lily!" James said, bravely attempting an mature and alluring voice, but not quite successful in squashing away his nervousness. "Please do me the honor of going to the ball with me." He humbly pulled out a bouquet of roses from behind his back.

Everyone in the vicinity, including Severus Snape, turned around and gaped. No fireworks? Where was the gaudy confetti?

Even Lily was taken aback by the simple romanticism of the moment.

Then, one of the roses happily squirted a fountain of water into her face.

The Hall burst into laughter while Lily shrieked, "You bloody-!"

James simply gaped comically at the bouquet of flowers.

Behind him, I saw Snape stowing away his wand and leaving quickly.

"I-I didn't-" James was stuttering.

"Lily, calm down," I said, putting a firm hand on her shoulder. "It's just water."

Remus took James firmly by the shoulder as well and steered him out of range of Lily's wand, which was, all considered, a smart move.

"He didn't mean to do it," I said, but Lily was beyond hearing me.

"I am so sick of James Potter!" she ranted furiously. "I wish he would just leave me alone! He's arrogant, immature, plain stupid-"

"And trying really hard to impress you! Merlin, Lily, give the guy some credit!"

Silence fell as Lily gaped at me.

Oh. That was me. I'd said that.

And my mouth kept on talking, venting out the pent-up, frustrated thoughts I'd had for the past six years. "A lot of girls want to be in your position, Lily. Think about people who don't get a single confession or a single invitation to be someone's date to a Ball. You brush it off so easily because it happens so often but an offer like that, no matter how arrogant or immature or plain stupid is still worth consideration and respect!"

My last words rang in the silence and my eyes fell on Alice, who like Lily, was wearing an expression of utmost shock.

As the initial frustration that had made me snap wore off, I suddenly felt incredibly revealed and embarrassed as a good half of the Gryffindor table watched me in awe.

Half in a daze, I grabbed my book bag and left the Hall, not because I was that angry at Lily, but more because I was just that in disbelief at what I'd just done. Because I'd just admitted all of my insecurities to the world- admitted that I was someone who had never received confessions or invitations, and was the type of person no one ever fell in love with.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. What had I just done?

How could I have just yelled at Lily like that? She didn't deserve that.

"What," Marlene said, bursting into the dorm room, "the bloody hell was all that about?"

"Nothing," I muttered shame-facedly, turning away from her.

"That obviously wasn't nothing," Marlene said fiercely. "Spit it out."

"I already did!" I retorted.

"What, that you're in love with James Potter?"

"What?" I said, screwing up my face in confusion. "When did I say that?"

"Wasn't that what this is all about?" Marlene asked exasperatedly. "You sticking up for him because you're jealous of Lily."

"No"," I said immediately, "No, I don't fancy James!"

Erm- I fancy your boyfriend, Sirius. I blushed, and hastily shoved that thought away.

"I meant exactly what I said," I told Marlene. "I just want Lily to remember from time to time that it's a little insulting to all the girls who don't get asked out every day to just shove aside people's interest so easily and so rudely."

"Well, you didn't have to just snap at her like that. You could've just explained it to her," Marlene said. "It's not like she meant to set you off."

"I know," I mumbled, looking down. "I didn't mean to snap. Actually, I didn't meant to say any of those things. They just all spilled out."

"Well," Marlene said, pushing me towards the door, "you should apologize to Lily and explain to her that you aren't really mad at her."

So, I did. I apologized. I anti-climatically apologized and told her that it was my insecurities that had me yelling rather than her. She graciously accepted my apology, more because she was confused than anything else and simply asked if I still wanted to go with her to the Masquerade. I courteously said I did.


It was a nice feeling to get all dressed-up, though getting make-up to be even on both sides of your face with an unpracticed hand has to be the most frustrating thing in the world.

I looked like I'd tried. "Tried" is not a good word to look like, because it means you've not succeeded. "Tried" is a long, long ways away from "effortlessly glamorous". Luckily, I had on a very pretty silver mask that I'd bought at Hogsmeade. It wasn't a solid piece of fabric, but several pieces of silver metal that crisscrossed each other in spirals that ended up forming a mask. There was a sheen to it that made it reflect the color of my dress, blue, whenever the light hit it a certain way. It was tied in the back with white ribbon that ran down my long hair.

The others looked lovely, particularly Alice, who glowed with happiness and blushed with anticipation at the idea of going with Frank. She and Marlene left first, and I could hear all four of the Marauders jesting around as Sirius waited for Marlene. There was a round of wolf-whistles and applause when Marlene walked in, and she graciously joked around with each of the boys as they left the common room.

Dorcas walked with Lily and me as far as the staircase down to the Great Hall, at which point she met the very charming Jay Salinger, and left us.

"Well," I said, holding out my hand, "shall we?"

Giggling, Lily grabbed it and hand-in-hand, we skipped down to the Great Hall with each other, or as much as two girls in heels and dresses could be in-sync.

When we entered the Great Hall together, for a moment, we paused and gaped at the gorgeous decorations. It really did feel as though we had stumbled into an old and abandoned, but still very glamorous and warm castle.

Couples had already begun dancing as the skeletons began to pluck up a waltz. I recognized Sirius and Marlene glide across the floor because of Marlene's dress. Both were very good dancers, but particularly Sirius.

Seeing Sirius this night made me think of who I had encountered on the Astronomy Tower exactly one year ago. They did look so alike.

"Let's dance," Lily said to me and we headed out to the dance floor. She was fairly good and I was terrible. Most of it consisted of her spinning as I was dragged along or her holding me up as I tried to match her steps.

We finally collapsed at the tables besides the refreshments stand, laughing too hard to properly speak.

But then, a tall boy with slicked-back brown hair and in a crisp white suit, whom I couldn't recognize due to his mark, asked Lily for a dance in a very handsome voice.

Taken aback, Lily looked at me warily.

"Go," I urged her. "Go and dance with a proper partner."

She hesitantly stood and took his hand and she disappeared into the crowd with him.

I sat there on my own for some time, wondering if I should leave, but not wanting to ditch Lily if she happened to come back.

Many girls looked at me pityingly as they passed by with their dates.

Then, a boy wearing a black mask and a red and black suit came up to the refreshments table. Gryffindor, I thought and turned away before he could possibly recognize me. But a moment later, he'd walked up to me.

Please, I moaned in my head, just go away.

"Fancy dancing with me, Ray?" he asked casually, and I immediately recognized the voice and tone of James Potter.

I looked at him more closely and could slightly recognize the mischievousness look in his light brown eyes.

Holding back a laugh, I said, "No, James."

"Why not? You don't look too busy to me," James replied as he sat beside me.

"How did you know it was me?"

James shrugged. "Just did."

Another girl came up to us in a beautiful yellow dress and addressed James. "Um, if you aren't dancing with her, could you maybe dance with me?"

"Sorry, love, but I am dancing with her," James replied, casually patting me on the head like I was a pet. And ruining my hairdo which was very inexpertly held up by some poorly placed bobby pins.

The girl blushed and left.

"Oops," James said, accidentally ripping out a bobby pin as he removed his hand from my head. "Sorry about that."

"Don't worry about it," I sighed and pulled out the rest of the bobby pins, and my hair fell down in a very tangled, half-curled mess.

"Hey, that's pretty," James said lightly, attempting to cheer me up by pointing at my messy hair that resembled a sadly failed, lopsided nest of a bird.

"Go and dance with somebody else," I told James, shaking out my hair. "I'm a bore, just sitting here."

"You really won't dance with me?"

"No."

"Why, 'cause Lily's mad at me?" He smiled knowingly.

"That sounds about right," I responded honestly.

James grinned. "Well, Marlene doesn't seem to care much about that."

"What?" I said, tilting my head to the side, as I was confused.

"I mean, she's snogging Sirius, isn't she? Isn't that breaking Girl Code?" James asked me, genuinely seeming concerned.

I started laughing and I could not stop. I stood there, wheezing, grabbing my sides. "Girl Code? Girl Code?"

James shifted uneasily. "Yeah. Why is that funny?"

"Oh, James Potter," I said, calming down and wiping tears from my eyes. "What would you know about girl code?"

"Hey, hey, I'll have you know that I am a deeply perceptive person, particularly when it comes to the intuition of the female mind."

"And body," he added as an afterthought and I managed to scrunch up my face in evident disgust under my mask.

"C'mon," James said, "I'm dead bored. Wormtail's dancing with some Hufflepuff girl who finds him adorable, Padfoot is with Marlene, and Moony's been roped into dancing with some Ravenclaw girl who was very determined to have him. Practically ripped him away from me. And besides, we're wearing masks, no one will know."

"I'm not a very good dancer," I mumbled.

"Yeah, I figured not. I've noticed over the years that your skill in Quidditch balances out your terrible balance on land," James replied.

"But no worries," he said. "I-" He stood up and did a very fast classic spin. "-am."

He held out his hand. I finally took it and he led me out to the mass of people dancing on the dance floor. He guided my hands before placing his on me. Then he began to guide me through a dance. His lead was firm and I didn't have to really think about anything as we traipsed along the dance floor.

"This isn't so bad, is- Ow!" I'd stepped on James' toe just as he'd began to ask me that.

"I'm all right, I'm all right," he said immediately as I started to disengage myself from him.

"Right, I'll dip you," James told me a minute or so later.

"No, don't!" I warned him, terrified. I grabbed the front of his suit as he started to anyways. James looked at me gripping tightly onto the front of his suit with wide eyes, and began to laugh hysterically. He set me upright, let me go, bent over, and began to laugh with his hands on his knees.

"You look so terrified! It's just dancing, for Merlin's sake," James wheezed, gripping at his chest.

"I told you not to!" I slapped his back hard, feeling the blush spreading across my face.

"Ah," James sighed, trying to calm down his laughter as he straightened up. He took me in his arms again and we began to dance again, spiraling through the crowd. I must've stepped on his toes at least five times at least of his ten toes. The first four times he grimaced and braved on. The fifth time he howled and I stopped. He chuckled when I took off my heels and chucked them under a table.

"Okay, let's dance for real now," he said and then proceeded to shout out orders to me like a drilling army sergeant.

"Spin! Twist! Step this way! Step lively! This way! Left! No, your left! Twirl! Out! In! Do a cartwheel! Backflip!"

"I can't!" I shouted back.

"It doesn't matter!" he yelled. "Just do something!"

I twirled and tripped into a nearby couple.

"Sorry!" James said, pulling me back from the irate couple. "I'm sorry! You see- She doesn't know how to control her limbs! She never learned."

He grabbed me and taking my hand, put it out in front of his and ordered, "Strut!"

We marched forward, fancying ourselves the King and Queen of some far-off country.

"What a pair of prats," someone remarked.

"I'll have your head for that, sir!" I shouted as James continued to steer us down the hall.

Still marching, I turned my head back and said, "Better yet, I'll burn you at the stake for twenty years!"

"Ray," James said solemnly.

"What?" I said, wondering if I'd gone too far.

"I don't think a person can burn for that long," James said.

We both paused, and then roared with laughter.

By the end, we were laughing much more than anything resembling dance and most people around us were giving us a wide berth.

"Let's take a break," I wheezed, and grabbing cups of butterbeer, we walked out of the Great Hall (I retrieved my heels) and into the courtyard where the fountains of water sparkled in the moonlight.

"Man, you really are terrible at dancing", James said, as he took off his black jacket in the refreshing night air.

"Sorry," I winced. "How're your toes?"

James shrugged. "I don't know. I've never been so intimately aware of them as tonight. But I'm sure I'll survive."

"But you are very good at marching, you know," James said to me.

"I learned from the best," I replied, and laughed.

We sat beside a fountain twinkling merrily and paused for a moment to simply drink our butterbeer and stare into the night sky.

"Look, that's the Sirius star. Can't miss it," James said, pointing up at a very bright sky, possibly the brightest star in the sky.

"Dead useful whenever we get lost in the forest at night," James commented. "Always points south in respect to Sagittarius, so it lets us know how to get back."

"That's clever," I replied. "To use Astronomy like that."

"It was Sirius' idea. Probably the only thing about his name that he likes."

"Oh."

We stared up in silence for a few moments before I said, "I should go back. Lily might be looking for me."

"Oh, were you her date?" James realized.

"Lucky you," he said, looking down. "She hates me now."

"She doesn't hate you," I said. "She just…"

"Hates me," James supplied sarcastically when I was unable to find the right word.

I laughed a little and nodded, giving in.

"You were close, though," I said to James. "With that last bouquet of roses, I think she almost said yes."

"Except Snape ruined it," James muttered. "But Lily would never believe me. You probably don't, either, given all of my other pranks."

"I did see Snape," I said.

James looked at me. "Really?"

I nodded and James smiled brightly, feeling vindicated.

We headed back in together and separated so that I could find Lily and James could find Remus. Finding her still with that mysterious boy, I headed upstairs and decided to call it a night.

However, what I found at the entrance to the Gryffindor common room was not just the Fat Lady, but someone I had been actively avoiding at both Hogwarts and in my thoughts.

Regulus Black.

"Are you a Gryffindor?" Regulus asked me and I realized that I was still wearing my mask.

"Do you care?" I asked him, and my voice sounded strangely emotional. "I'm a Muggle-born."

"Where is Sirius?" Regulus asked shortly, ignoring me.

"I don't know. He was down at the Ball," I answered.

Regulus hesitated, seeming to recognize my voice for a moment.

"Do I… know you?" he asked me quietly, the answer already evident in his voice.

"What are you doing here, Slytherin?"

I turned to see two older Gryffindors, Jenna Abercrombie and Stefan Brown just behind us.

Stefan drew his wand. "Get away from her."

Regulus' demeanor changed in an instant, from hesitant to furious.

He drew his own wand. "Get out of my way! he snarled.

There was a loud bang! and two spells shot from Regulus' and Stefan's wands.

Regulus' spell ricocheted off the wall and hit Jenna, whose eyebrows began to grow at a most sinister pace.

Stefan's spell had caught Regulus in the arm. It had ripped open his shirt and caused a gash to appear on his inner left forearm. He grasped at his wound, covering it with his hand, but not before I had caught some sort-of tattoo on his arm.

Suddenly, voices could be heard from just around the corridor corner.

"I'll thank you to shut up, four eyes!"

"Wow, Lily, how original of you, to insult me on the fact that I wear glasses. Besides, I'm not wearing them now. I've charmed my mask to-"

"Regulus?" Sirius' voice rang through the hallway in disbelief.

Sirius, Marlene, James, Lily, and two others whom, despite masks, I recognized as Remus and Peter had all appeared in front of the common room.

"Ray!" Lily called.

Regulus' eyes flashed to mine. So he knew.

Regulus gritted his teeth and made for the opposite corridor. Stefan made to hex him again but Sirius drew out his own wand viciously and warned him to back off.

"Scurvy cur," Remus told the Fat Lady and she opened for us, hiccuping faintly as she was slightly drunk.

I kept looking into the corridor, wondering if he'd really gone.

"Raylynx, are you all right?" Remus asked me.

I was the only one still out in the hallway.

"Fine," I said and stepped inside. The portrait swung shut behind me.

Just around the corner, Regulus was trying to catch his breath. Gripping his arm with his other hand, he rested his head against the wall for a moment. Then, he peered down at his arm and swallowed hard, frightened by what was marked on his own skin.


Inside, Sirius and Marlene were having another brawl.

"I don't care if he's a Slytherin or who he was hexing, Marlene! He's my brother!"

"Yeah, I know that! I don't want him seriously hurt or anything like that either. But I'm just saying, if he was hexed, so what? He probably deserved it!"

"Do you think that matters to me? I don't care if he deserved it. He was hexed!" Sirius bellowed.

Marlene was silent then, biting her lip as her eyes sparkled with tears.

"Sirius, that's enough" Remus stepped forward and put his hand on Sirius' shoulder.

With an exasperated growl, Sirius turned away and headed up to the boy's dorm with Peter and James following.

Marlene burst into tears then.

"Come one. Let's get upstairs, Marlene," Lily said, hugging her.

I led the way, opening the door as Lily half-carried, half-dragged her in.

"Marlene, its okay," I said, taking off her mask and brushing back her hair as Lily wrapped a quilt around her. "It's just a fight. It's not your fault and it'll pass."

"No, it won't," Marlene said, unable to stop the tears streaking down her cheeks. "It's a-always like this now. I hate it. All this fighting. But we're always, always fighting. I feel like everything's my f-fault."

"It's not," Lily said firmly.

"And Sirius knows it's not. He's just frustrated," I added.

"I don't know," Marlene said hopelessly, mopping up her eyes and wiping away the running mascara. "I think he's just sick of me. I've never really been good enough for him."

"Don't be ridiculous," Lily said worriedly. "Of course you are. How could you say that?"

Marlene just shook her hand and stared down at the napkins in her hands.

"Take a shower, Marlene," I suggested. "Calm yourself down, clean yourself up, and we can do something to cheer you up afterwards, all right?"

Marlene nodded, but the look in her eyes was hollow as she stood and shakily headed for the bathroom.

As soon as the door closed, Lily turned to me with a worried expression. "This isn't like her. She gets upset and angry, but Marlene never cries."

"Yeah, but this has been weighing on her mind for a while, even if she never talked about it," I said heavily.

Dorcas came in shortly after and when we explained what had happened to her, Dorcas shook her head and said, "Remember when I said he was going to break her heart? Well, this is what I meant. Marlene is always confident in herself, that's why when things don't work out the way she meant them to, she gets angry. Because she knows she's good enough to do it. But with Sirius… Well, he's the one thing she's insecure about, isn't it? She doubted that she could ever be good enough for him. And in her mind, he just proved her right."

"She shouldn't have gone out with him," Dorcas said miserably. "Not until she was ready."

Marlene came out of the shower then, her locks wet and hanging in a mess around her shoulders.

I sat her down and wrapping a towel around her neck began to calmly brush her hair. It was what my mother did whenever I was upset, to soothe me.

"Anyways," I said, with a feeble attempt at cheerfulness, "who were you dancing with, Lily? He seemed quite charming."

"Oh," Lily said, smiling dreamily, "that was Edmund Dantes. He's a Ravenclaw, and he's Head Boy. He's lovely."

"D'you know who's also just as lovely as I'd imagined?" Alice said, coming in just then, face and voice alight with happiness.

"Frank," we all chorused, even Marlene, though in a deadpan voice.

Though immediately after, Dorcas said softly under her breath, "Jay."


Sirius and Marlene's relationship remained rocky as the month went on and we continued with our challenging classes. End-of-the-semester exams were getting ever nearer.

I was spending the grand majority of my time in the library, usually joined by the girls. Regulus Black usually sat just a few tables down from us, and I had gotten into the bad habit of staring at him whenever Alchemy or Magical Theory got too befuddling (which was quite often).

When I finally finished another nonsensical chapter of Magical Theory, I found myself thoughtlessly gazing at him again. Or rather, the way the bright morning sunlight streamed onto his dark curls and made the gold quill in his hand reflect bright light onto the page he was scribbling on.

He seems so young and harmless like that. Just concerned with his studies, no thoughts of blood hierarchy and House rivalry and all that stupid stuff. The night of the Masquerade. Why had he come to Gryffindor Tower? Why had he been searching for Sirius? And that strange mark on his left arm… What did it mean?

Quite abruptly, he looked up and his eyes flickered to mine for the briefest of moments. Shocked back to my senses, I immediately sat up and bent my head over my textbook, trying to conceal my face. Perhaps I had just imagined it.

But I continued to feel his eyes on me. I wondered if he was looking at me in disgust. Frustrated, I abruptly got up, nearly knocking my chair over.

"I need to return some of these books," I said, by way of excuse to the girls and then trooped away in embarrassment. I didn't notice Regulus also quietly get up from his seat.

I was returning my books to their shelves ("In order, girl!" Madam Pince screeched at me) from the Restricted Section (for which I was only allowed access after Madam Pince had beadily examined Seymour's written note and then harrumped as she could find no ground on which to argue its legitimacy) when I found myself face-to-face with Snape.

"I need that book," he said, holding out his hand to receive the book that I was currently putting back on the shelf.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I muttered as I handed it to him.

His eyebrows raised and he said, "I don't think you're in any place to judge as you are the one handing me the book."

"I'm doing this because I have to, not because I like to," I snapped, turning away from him.

"I would say it's the same for me, but you wouldn't bother to believe me, would you?" Snape said, anger rising quicker than steam in his voice. "People like you and Evans always pretend like you aren't prejudiced, but in reality, you all reek of it. And you shun what you can't understand."

"Listen," I said, whirling around on him, "I don't care what your reason is. The more I read about that stuff, the more I hate it, the more I promise myself I'd rather die than use that kind-of magic. It's hideous, vile, and only used by those who are completely desperate. I'll never respect anyone who uses that kind-of magic, no matter what their rationale."

I stormed out, completely oblivious that on the other side of the bookshelf was Regulus Black, listening with troubled eyes to the words I spat out so harshly at Snape.