"What are you wearing?" Marlene's voice could be heard all the way across the common room.

"A shirt, Marlene. A bloody shirt," Sirius' voice replied.

Lily, Dorcas, Alice, and I looked up from where we were studying at the table.

"You know that's not what I'm asking. Who gave it to you? A girl, no doubt. But not me. In fact, you've never even worn any of the shirts I've bought you," Marlene said angrily. "And they cost a fortune."

"It's not like I asked you to get them for me," Sirius said, starting to get incredibly pissed off. "Marlene, how many times are we going to go through this again? I am not cheating on you."

"Really? Then who got you that shirt? Not your mum, I suppose," Marlene said meanly.

I swallowed. That shirt was familiarly plaid and incredibly… exciting.

Sirius frowned at Marlene. "Listen, I don't like my family either. But for you to always talk them down is a bit-"

"Why?" Marlene suddenly shouted. "Why is it that anyone else can talk bad about them- you, James, Remus, Peter, any other Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, or Hufflepuff, and you don't get angry at them, but when it's me-!"

"Marlene!" Sirius shouted suddenly, cutting her off. All eyes in the common room were on them. "You want me to be something that I'm not. I'm not this sort-of aristocratic, rational, upstanding person that you think I am. I don't dress or act like I'm mature because I'm not. I know I have to be someday. But that's who I am right now. All right? If you don't like that, then let's not waste our time on each other."

The resulting silence was astounding, despite the fact that many people were in the common room. A single quill rolled off a table and dropped onto the floor.

"Fine," Marlene spat out, trying to sound vicious, but the tears were undeniably present in her voice. "Fine, you bastard!"

"Marlene," Sirius said, in a far more gentle voice, reaching out to her as he realized she was about to burst into tears.

"Don't touch me!"

And she whirled around and stomped up to the dormitory.

"Damn it," Dorcas muttered, and rubbed her eyes tiredly before getting to her feet. We all clambered up the stairs as quickly as we could, with myself in the lead.

I opened the door just as Marlene, in her rage, had ferociously thrown her textbook at the door.


I dove. I was a goner. But the spell only blasted off the bottom of my shoe and left the rest of me intact.

Trembling, I peeked over the table at the clock. Only twenty-two minutes out of an hour had gone by. I moaned and my distraction cost me a bruise as I barely ducked in time when Seymour blasted the table in front of me into a million shattered pieces.

I threw myself behind another table, half-crawling, half-running. One of his curses shot past my head into the fire and the fire roared like an angry centaur.

I can't hold him off for much longer. I thought frantically as I ran to the end of the row of tables. No, I can't take this anymore. The anger I had been feeling all throughout this semester began to bubble over. What the hell is he trying to teach me, doing this? It's been a whole semester and all I've learned is how to duck. What is wrong with this Professor?!

And suddenly, without any conscious decision, I snapped.

Keeping low, I appeared from behind the table and pointed my wand straight at the Professor.

"Expulso!"

Oh Merlin, was my immediate thought as I watched my Professor get blasted back halfway across the classroom by my spell. I attacked a teacher.

In my head, I whimpered. I'm going to be in so much trouble.

Professor Seymour collided into the bookshelves, which collapsed under his weight, and he was on the floor, apparently knocked out.

Oh Merlin.

"P-Professor?" I said hesitantly, getting to my feet.

Suddenly, his wand shot up and he shouted, "Stupefy!"

I ducked again and the spell barely missed my left ear.

"Expelliarmus!" I thought non-verbally from underneath the table, out of view. To my utter surprise, the wand went flying out of the Professor's hand and still in a bit of a trance, I rose to catch it. It flew straight into my outstretched hand.

I expected Seymour to be incredibly angry and threaten to fail me, but instead, he smiled and said, "Finally. I thought we'd never get there."

I stood there in utter confusion, still clutching our wands.

He drew out the seat of the one of the few tables remaining and sat down.

"Sit." He beckoned at me to join him.

Still bewildered, I warily pulled out a chair and sat down.

"Well, now that you've finally grown the balls to make a move, I'd say you passed your midterm."

"I… passed?" I said, trying to read the truth in his eyes to see if he was serious.

"Stop that," Seymour snapped. "I don't like when people try to probe into my mind."

"Oh." I said, realizing that I had unconsciously been performing Occulumency. "Sorry, bad habit."

"Well," Professor Seymour said casually, leaning back comfortably in his chair. "What made you change?"

"Excuse me?"

"What made you attack me?"

"Oh. I guess I'd just… had enough."

"Had enough," Seymour repeated slowly. "I see. Well, we have thirty minutes remaining. Now it is time to truly begin your education."

"Professor?" I said questioningly, my eyebrows still knitted together.

"What was it you felt when you attacked me?" Professor Seymour asked me, ignoring my confused face.

"Um… something like…" I paused. "Desperation?"

"Yes. You've got it. Dark Arts are wielded by those who crave power above all else, are desperate for it. Their entire energy is focused on that feeling."

"Then," I said in dread, "doesn't that make them incredibly powerful? Skilled with no conscience? Controlled only by fear, by reaction?"

"Of course they're powerful," Seymour scoffed. "How could one deny that?"

"Then how is it possible to fight it?" I wondered.

Seymour thought seriously for a moment before he answered, "Compassion. Courage. Above all else, love."

While I pondered his answer, he summoned his wand to him without magic. It slipped between my fingers into his hands.

"I have homework for you over the holidays."

I tried not to whine.

"It'll be fun, I promise. It's not really Dark Arts, either, it's more a Defense Against the Dark Arts spell," Seymour grinned, seeing the look on my face. "We'll start it right now, so I can give you the basics before I go."

We both stood up and he said to me, "It's called the Patronus Charm. It's a sort-of shield… created out of positive life force. To put it simply, it's your soul energy, which can protect you from darkness without any negative consequence to yourself. It absorbs various hexes, but is particularly effective against Dark Creatures, such as dementors."

"Is it effective against you?" I muttered to myself.

"I heard that."

"Come over here." He beckoned. "We'll give it a try."

I walked over to him, feeling slightly nervous.

"All right, now close your eyes."

"Close my-?"

"Just do it. I won't hex you, I promise, or if I do, I'll buy you a Christmas present."

I hesitantly closed my eyes.

"Now try to think of a happy memory. Not just any memory, but one in which the happiness itself is powerful enough to fill you up, right to your very fingertips. Keep it in your thoughts, hold it there."

I tried to search for a time where I had been happy, really happy.

"Have you got one?"

"No, not yet."

I flipped through several memories, but although most of them filled me up with a happiness for others, I hardly had any where I had been the one truly, inexplicably happy.

"Now?"

"I… I think so," I said, pretty much lying.

"All right. Then, concentrating upon this memory. Say the incantation, "Expecto Patronum".

Trying to focus, I said, "Expecto Patronum."

"Yes. Now, hold up your wand. Open your eyes. And say the words."

With my wand aloft in the air, I thought hard again and then said clearly, "Expecto Patronum!"

Nothing happened.

The clock chimed softly, indicating class was over.

"Practice," Seymour told me. "We'll be moving on rather quickly when you get back from break. Your slow thinking has backed up schedule quite a bit."

But his smile was teasing.

He began to exit the classroom when suddenly he turned on his heel and flicked his wand upwards.

I went flying backwards and landed hard on my butt.

"Professor," I couldn't stop myself from growling angrily, "you promised."

"Yes, well. Here, have a present," Seymour said, and chuckling, he threw a bar of Honeydukes' Raspberry Chocolate at me. Then he left, the door shutting with a soft sound.

In the resulting confused mess that was my mind, I could only think of one fact: I had survived my midterm. Out of bed. Lord be praised.


"I don't care if Sirius Black is sorry," Marlene said haughtily, turning away from Remus, who had been pleading with her. "He's foul and ignorant and pathetic."

When Remus opened his mouth again, Lily shook her head and laid her hand on his arm, to stop him.

Marlene turned and hastened away, her composure beginning to slip.

"You need to give her time," Lily said. "He hurt her pretty badly."

"Sirius is sorry," Remus sighed. "He's just too proud to come admit it himself."

Lily looked at him sympathetically. "Never mind that," she said gently. "what about you? Are you well? You're always too busy looking after your idiot friends to take proper care of yourself."

Remus looked at her with grateful eyes and smiled slightly as he said, "Yes, I'm quite well. Thank you, Lily." She smiled back at him and gave his arm a warm squeeze just before he turned away.


The dead languages, which no longer have any native speakers, include Latin, Classical Greek, and Germanic in various forms. These languages, however, are reflected in Ancient Runes, and therefore Ancient Runes provides us with access to the first moments of magical discovery and cultural development within civilizations.

Ancient Runes was, as always, the subject I was most confident in. I turned in my exam to Professor Maudrick, who smiled warmly at me and said, "Have a good holidays, kid. And don't stress so much."

"I stress?" I said wonderingly.

He reached over to ruffle my hair. I felt a weight in my heart as he did so, remembering when Jamie would do that to me.

"You look sad. Cheer up a bit," he said encouragingly and then turned to accept an exam from another student.


Ollivander's midterm was very challenging as he preferred not to grade anything written, I stood there in the back room for two hours and answered whatever questions he shot at me. There was no checking an answer or returning to a question- you just knew it or you didn't.

At one point, Borgin walked in, interrupting us loudly, "Ollivander, you haven't heard from Burke, have ya? I haven't heard from him since he went after the ring bearing the stone with the Peverell Coat of Arms and that was weeks ago. "

Ollivander paused in our examination and we both turned towards the doorway as Borgin came into view, saying, "Said someone named Marvolo Gaunt had it, but then rumor had it that our own Tom Riddle had it. Well, couldn't be a better spot of profit for us! Burke went to go get the ring from Tom, hasn't been seen since. You don't think-?"

Borgin stopped when he saw Ollivander's withering stare and then said weakly, "I'll- I'll come back later then, shall I?"

"Please," Ollivander said, and then shot another question at me.

But after it was done, he nodded in approval and said, "Very well. Off you go. Review after break."

And I was finally free.


"Oh, welcome home, all of you!" Mrs. Potter rushed forth at King's Cross Station to embrace us all before kissing James on the cheek. Her hair was all silver now and the wrinkles on her face had become more evident the past six months. But she was one of those women whose beauty grew with age; her hair still shone in the sun and her wrinkles indicated a grace and warmth that youth could never portray.

"Ugh, Mum," James said, barely restraining himself from wiping it off.

"We're glad you decided to visit us over winter break," Mrs. Potter continued. "James gets rather bored and starts blowing things up about day two without company."

"Unfortunately, that number goes down to when the company is Sirius," Mr. Potter murmured, but his eyes were filled with an unmistakable kindness as he gently grasped Sirius' and my shoulders.

And off we went, to the lovely Potter's home in Godric's Hollow, now happily buried in glistening loads of snow and with icicles hanging off its roof.

Inside, a warm fire was going and the house smelled of Christmas- musky vanilla and melted chocolate mixed with fresh, almost sharp pine and peppermint.

The boys went to James' room to unpack their things and I returned to the room I had had over the summer. I had barely begun unpacking when I heard shouts of laughter coming from the boys' room. I couldn't help but smile to myself.

I walked over to the window and pulled back the curtain to gaze out into the wintery town, snug despite the freezing cold temperatures, warm with fireplaces crackling merrily and families home together.

Families.


My parents and Sola came that night so that we could go visit Jamie at St. Mungo's. We went together with Mrs. Potter, since she was a Healer. As Andromeda was also about to undergo labor, Sirius decided to come along with us as well.

"We'll visit your brother first, and then pop over to Andromeda's," Mrs. Potter announced. "The wards aren't too far away…"

I saw Sirius eye me curiously. Although he knew my brother had been attacked, I doubt he knew about the state Jamie was in now. No one knew, except for the girls and James.

Mrs. Potter opened the doors to Jamie's ward and we stepped inside.

He lay there in his bed, asleep. It would have simply looked like he was taking a nap, if it weren't for how pale and still he was.

My mother leaned over and kissed him, trying hard to keep the tears from slipping down her face. My father squeezed her shoulders comfortingly, but his own eyes were tight from the effort of keeping himself together. My sister was also struggling with her emotions but she managed to keep calm as she gently stroked his face and pulled up his covers.

I stepped forward as well, standing at the foot of his bed.

"Jamie," I said quietly, "Merry Christmas." I reached out and took his cool hand, wishing I could pass whatever strength I had to him, to warm him, to wake him.

I miss you. So much.


Andromeda was pleased to see us and we kept her company for some time, returning to the Potter house quite late in the night. Mr. Potter and James were both snoring away when we returned, according to Dusky.

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," I said when she whipped up some soup and bread for Sirius and myself, as we had missed dinner.

"Not at all," Mrs. Potter said. She yawned and then remarked, "Just leave the dishes in the kitchen and head straight to bed after eating, all right? I'll see you two in the morning."

She left us then, and the awkwardness settled in quite quickly.

"Did… did you know Andy was thinking of naming her baby Nymphadora if the baby's a girl?" I asked, painfully aware of how hideous my voice sounded as my foot tapped nervously against the carpet.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, and then remained silent.

We finished our food. "I'll get that," Sirius said, nodding towards my bowl.

"It's all right," I said.

"No, let me," he insisted and snatched it away.

"Why're you being so nice?" I asked him. "It's a bit spooky."

"What!?" Sirius said indignantly. "You say that as if I'm not a nice individual."

"You're not," I said bluntly, before I could stop myself.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Do it yourself then, prick." He shoved my bowl back at me. I took it and retorted, "How can a guy be so overly sensitive?"

Sirius grumbled to himself as we headed to kitchen and deposited our bowls in the sink. Sirius' face was still grave- I could see his reflection in the mirror.

"All right," I said finally, snapping. "Spit it out. What's your problem?"

"Don't be delusional," Sirius snorted. "Between the two of us, I am the only one who has not tripped someone after months of no conversation."

"Yeah, well, right now, you're the weird one. You're acting too serious." I paused. "No, that wasn't supposed to be a pun."

Sirius laughed. "You aren't all that bright, are you?"

"You aren't all that good at hiding your feelings, are you?" I shot back.

The smile slid from his face and he avoided my gaze, shuffling a bit in his spot.

Finally, he opened his mouth and said, "So that's what you meant? Just before we left over the summer, you said something about… missing your brother. You meant this. What I saw tonight."

"Yeah," I replied quietly. I felt myself withdrawing from the situation, as I always felt when I had to talk about my brother. But I knew that this was my chance to truly apologize, so I forced myself to be more open. I focused on the feeling I had of needing of clarify myself and to finally speak those words I'd wanted to say to him all semester. Carefully, but firmly, I said to Sirius, "I never meant to insult you, Sirius. And I never meant to question how much you care about your brother. I know you care about Regulus. That's obvious to me. I was just trying to tell you that you're not the only one who misses their brother."

There was a slightly embarrassed pause on my part. Then, Sirius nodded and shoved his hands in his pockets before muttering, "Stupid Regulus. Can't believe he's a bloody Death Eater."

"I still believe he'll wake up," I said honestly. "Just like I believe my brother will."

Sirius shook his head and said in a voice full of longing, "I hope so. Merlin, I hope so."