A weak autumn dawn illuminated the Great Hall in pale light the next morning as Professor McGonagall sorted out our classes.
My schedule looked like this:
Advanced Wandlore - Ollivander
N.E.W.T Charms- Flitwick
Intensive Introduction to Healing Magic- Pomfrey
N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts- Maudrick
6th Year Astronomy- Collins (Since I had not taken Astronomy last year)
Intensive Introduction to Dissularation (Study of Disguise)- McGonagall
N.E.W.T. Potions- Slughorn
I waited for the others to have their schedules cleared and without further ado, we all took off to Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Ravenclaws.
It felt strange to enter the classroom and see Professor Maudrick. Those of us who had taken Ancient Runes with Maudrick were smiling and those who had not yet had Maudrick as a teacher looked curiously at this young, unkempt, but rather good-looking teacher. Again, I wondered what had happened to Professors Seymour and Elgar.
"The Dark Arts," Professor Maudrick began, leaning casually back against his desk with his legs crossed, "is not something to be feared, but nor is it to be taken lightly. To understand that fine line and use it to your advantage is the purpose of Defense Against the Dark Arts. Because you can bet that those who wield the Dark Arts rely on their power to fear as much as their magical capability."
He paused briefly before continuing, studying our faces as he spoke. "The Dark Arts are ever-changing. It evolves at a far faster pace than the other subjects. Therefore, Defense Against the Dark Arts must also be changing. Here change becomes a constant. Here creativity becomes your ally. Everything you learn in Charms, Transfigurations, Potions, and Merlin forbid, Ancient Runes"- many people sniggered gleefully, happy that someone was finally acknowledging Ancient Runes as a legitimate subject- "must be gathered together here."
He stood upright and asked, "Any questions before we begin?"
"Sir?" A Ravenclaw girl raised her hand. "I saw the term 'Inferi' in the newspaper the other day. I was wondering what that meant."
Professor Maudrick turned to us. "Anybody know?"
They're corpses reanimated by a Dark Lord to do his bidding.
I was literally so stunned that I actually knew the answer that I forgot to raise my hand. For so long, that had been the fact of the matter: I couldn't raise my hand because I never knew the answer. For the first time, I knew the answer.
Besides me, Lily's hand shot straight into the air.
"Ms. Evans."
"They're dead bodies cursed to do what the Dark Lord wishes."
"Yes, although it can be any Dark Lord. There is no the Dark Lord. At least, not yet," Maudrick said cryptically.
Then he asked, "Anyone know in particular what branch of Dark Magic Inferi concern?"
Necromancy, I thought, a split second before Athena Cross from Ravenclaw, raised her hand.
Maudrick pointed at her and she replied promptly, "Necromancy."
"Yes, excellent. Well, I meant your ability to answer, not necromancy itself. Now, everybody, get up! Up and out with your wands! We'll begin with a basic shield charm."
We all gathered up excitedly and for once, I didn't feel anxious. I knew I could do a basic shield charm. I'd done it over and over again at McGonagall's before she let me move on to Transfigured physical shields.
Though I remembered how long and grueling it had been to perform a simple, basic shield charm, McGongall's words rang in my mind as I lined up behind the others: In the end, it's not how long it took you to do it, but how well you can do it now.
"All right!" Maudrick beckoned to me to step forth. "Raylynx!"
"Protego Maxima!" I pointed my wand and a large silver shield expanded from the tip of my wand.
"Marvelous, excellent, to the back of the line! Come up, Ms. Meadowes!"
We arrived in the Great Hall for lunch, only to find it buzzing with all sorts of news about a single subject: the TriWizard Tournament.
"So, we're of age," Marlene commented, her eyebrows raised.
"The death toll doesn't seem like a happy statistic to contribute to, though", Lily said wisely.
"But I'll bet becoming the champion is even rarer," Marlene said, her eyes adopting a faraway look as she imagined herself being crowned champion.
"Exactly my point," Lily muttered to herself.
"Yeah, dream on," Dorcas laughed, "I'll bet my money the champion from Hogwarts will be Athena Cross, that girl from Ravenclaw."
Marlene shrugged. "Depends on who the judge is, right?"
"But why now?" Alice wondered aloud.
"What do you mean?" Marlene asked.
"I mean, we're in the midst of dark times. Why is there a Tri-Wizard Tournament now?"
"Well, maybe that's exactly the point. It's because we're in the midst of dark times," Dorcas reasoned. "Dumbledore did say the Tournament was greatly supported due to the bonds made between international witches and wizards."
"Yeah," Alice said thoughtfully. "I suppose that does make sense."
Then Lily said, "Did you hear about the Dark Mark and the Death Eaters at the World Cup?"
"The Ministry hasn't been able to identify them yet," I said, recalling Professor McGonagall telling me about it. "And I heard there was a lot of security as well."
"Unfortunately, the Ministry's inability to protect its people isn't anything new," Dorcas said grimly. "Didn't you hear about the new Wizarding Decrees they passed? They passed a piece of legislation that limit centaurs' property rights and another piece of legislation against that makes it almost impossible for werewolves to get jobs."
"What?" I said angrily. "What's the Ministry got against centaurs and werewolves?"
"Scared of them, most likely," Lily said somberly.
"The progress your sister made with Muggle-born Amendments is being pushed back," Alice told me, frowning.
"The Wizengamot needs your sister back," Marlene addressed me. "The world needs your sister back."
My heart clenched and I said fiercely, "Yeah, well, the world needed her so badly it broke her. It's time for the world to pay her back."
The conversation shifted to what kind of schools were arriving for the Tournament and Dorcas took the opportunity to slid closer to me and whisper, "So, what 'challenge' were you talking about?"
"Dorcas," I replied softly, "have you ever thought of becoming an Animagus?"
"Animagus?" Dorcas repeated incredulously under her breath, as startled as I'd ever seen her. "I mean, yeah, that'd be brilliant. But it's incredibly difficult to get the instructions for the Potion, let alone actually doing the wandwork."
"Well, I've got the instructions for the Potion," I whispered to her.
"What?" Dorcas whisper-shouted. "But how-?"
"I came across it during my reading for Dissularation over the summer. The book was at McGonagall's house," I made up quickly.
"Right, yeah, that makes sense," Dorcas said quietly, nodding. "McGonagall is an Animagus herself."
So are three other students our year. Along with a werewolf.
"So, shall we give it a go?"
"Just us two at first, yeah?" Dorcas said, glancing over at the other three. "I have a feeling Lily won't like it very much, Alice will be rather anxious throughout all of it, and Marlene might let it slip."
"Yeah," I agreed, "so think of places we could start brewing this potion."
Dorcas nodded and then we lapsed in silence until the other three turned to include us in groaning about about how much homework we had already.
And indeed, we did have lots. In fact, we spent our first school night in the library, late into the hours.
"We'd better head back," Lily finally yawned and set down her quill, "Or we'll risk curfew.'
Dorcas smirked. "If we do get caught, we can just pretend you caught us out of bed and are off to give us detentions."
"I could," Lily replied, smiling, "but I'd rather not. C'mon."
We made our way back up to Gryffindor Tower and Alice was midway through saying the password, "Scottish pla-" when the door swung open and we found ourselves face-to-face with none other than the Marauders.
Besides me, Marlene's breath caught.
I also felt a slight feeling of discomfort. A summer apart had rearranged our barely existing friendships back into nothingness. I felt like they were all strangers again, except, perhaps, James.
"And where do you think you're going?" Lily said haughtily, crossing her arms.
Peter hid behind Sirius, Remus coughed delicately and looked away, Sirius seemed to have great difficulty in not rolling his eyes, and James beamed at her, his eyes twinkling brightly.
"Hello, Lily love," James said exuberantly.
"You're avoiding the question," Lily said crossly.
"I'm out to do my rounds, of course, as Head Boy," James said, still beaming, though both his hands were behind his back.
"Oh, please!" Lily said. "Get a rope, somebody. We'll tie him up!"
"Run!" James shouted, and all four of them sprinted out of the doorway into the corridor.
"I'm not giving up that easily!" Lily shouted, and began chasing after them.
"Well, I'm going to bed," Marlene said in a would-be bored voice and headed in.
"I've got to finish this essay. I can't go chasing after those dunderheads," Dorcas said, rolling her eyes as she entered the portrait hole.
"Ray?" Alice said, nodding her head towards the common room.
"But Lily…" I said hesitantly.
"But she's Head Girl, she'll be fine," Alice reminded me.
"It's not her I'm worried about," I muttered and Alice laughed.
"True," she admitted.
We both took off down the corridor they'd last turned, unsure of where they went afterwards.
Suddenly, two pairs of arms shot out and grabbed us, a hand clapping over our mouths.
I was just about to elbow the person behind me when a familiar voice whispered in my ear, "Sorry, but please just stay still for a moment."
Besides me, I heard someone whispering something to Alice.
"Where's Lily?" I head Alice whisper.
"Oh, she went racing after James," the person next to Alice responded and I figured it sounded most like Peter. "We figured we should give them some alone time while Sirius snuck down into the kitchens."
We were tucked against a niche in the wall, hidden in shadow.
I could feel someone's breath on my neck. Slightly uncomfortable about how close this person, probably Remus, was to me, I tried to jostle forward a bit, but to my surprise, his hands tightened on my arms.
Suddenly, his breath caught and I was forcibly reminded of my encounter in Diagon Alley at the end of last year.
I heard someone's breath just behind me and then ferociously strong arms grasped my neck, choked me.
"I'm going to bite you," the man whispered in a voice that made goosebumps rise all over me.
I felt a hot, wet breath on my neck.
And the recognition of werewolf came to me like a piercing scream.
Instinctively, I wrenched myself free of the person and shoved them hard, away from me.
"Ray?!" I heard Alice say uncertainly.
Turning only when I was completely separated from that person, I turned to see-
Not Remus the werewolf, but Remus the boy. His amber eyes were shining wide with fear, remorse, and worst of all- guilt. His robes were in a shabby state, his shirt missing a button, and a bandage wrapped around his right hand.
I felt terrible at what I'd just done. Rejection was the last thing someone like Remus needed. But I couldn't take it back. Like all things in life, you cannot go back.
"L-Lupin," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, "I'm sorry."
Clearly more frightened than I was, Remus could only respond in a trembling voice, "It's… It's all ri-"
He cut off and suddenly peered down the hall. Then he jerked me towards him, catching me in his arms, just as Filch turned the corner, lantern swinging. I looked up at Remus and he looked back at me, his eyes obscured in terror. He swallowed hard and his arms around me were shaking.
The millisecond Filch passed out of sight, Remus let go of me and hastily stepped back, now avoiding my eyes.
Alice and Peter stepped out also and I could see them exchange puzzled looks. However, just afterwards, I saw Peter look significantly at Remus. He knew then, or at the very least, suspected what had happened between us. He was a good actor, I thought, and smarter than he looked.
"We should go back," Remus said quietly and without another word, he began to make his way back towards Gryffindor common room.
"Moony, we have to wait for Padfoot," Peter protested, but Remus was already halfway down the hall.
"What happened?" Alice turned to me, but at that moment Lily came up, dragging James Potter along, and indeed, both his arms and hands had been roped together and were out in front of him as Lily dragged him forward.
"First catch in your Head Girl career?" Alice said, smiling at this strange sight.
"She loves me so much she wants to keep me!" James said happily, grinning like an idiot.
Lily growled. "Potter, shut up, you're a complete-"
"Evans, pipe down. You'll get us all caught." Sirius came out from behind a hidden door behind a tapestry just beside us, startling all of us. He winked at James and Peter before saying loftily, "Well, time for bed, I think."
We all began to sneak forward towards the Gryffindor common room, but I couldn't get that uneasiness out of my mind. Remus' face had looked so guilty.
On a whim, I grabbed the nearest Marauder beside me- Sirius, and held him back.
He looked down at me with one unimpressed eyebrow raised- his trademark for dealing with me, I suppose.
"Kingsley," he said disinterestedly.
Kingsley? You've known me for over six years and you address me by my last name? Though I do admit we're back to being strangers now, as proper.
And after all, I thought miserably, I'd been doing the same to Remus, hadn't I? Calling him Lupin all the time…
"Can you do me a favor, please?"
"Depends."
"I need you to make sure Lupin's okay."
"And why," his voice became a tad angrier, "would you need me to do that?"
"I might've done something wrong," I said, ashamed.
"What the hell did you do?" Sirius asked, glaring at me.
"It... I felt- Never mind. I just pushed him away. Anyways, that's not the point. He looked like he wanted to cry. Can you help him, please?" I asked him, unashamedly looking up at him.
Sirius groaned and said, "You always make things worse."
"I know," I said, and my voice was heavy. "I know."
We went up to Gryffindor Tower together in silence.
"Scottish plaid."
The Fat Lady swung open for us and we entered the common room, which was fairly empty save for a few older students doing homework or simply chatting. In the corner, between a scribbling Dorcas was Marlene. I realized her eyes were narrowed first at Sirius, and then at me. She hastily tried to look away, but it had been too late.
The next morning dawned another mild gray sun, a sure sign that winter was coming ever closer. We entered the Great Hall for breakfast and had only just sat down in front of a large steaming plate of sausages and eggs when suddenly, up at the staff hall, Professor Collins spat out his pumpkin juice.
Everybody, staff and student alike, looked up at him in a range of expressions from mild amusement to outright scandalized. The Marauders, sitting only a little ways down were indicative of the 'mild amusement' side of the spectrum whereas Professor McGonagall was looking towards the other end.
There was not a lot of time left to ponder, however, as at the Slytherin table Yaxley spat his pumpkin juice out all over Jugson. That one I looked upon with mild amusement.
I glanced back up at the staff table to see McGonagall murmuring in Professor Collins ear and gesturing towards the Gryffindor table.
Collins looked up and immediately caught my eye. He frowned angrily and I groaned. McGonagall must have been warning him of the Marauders, only to have ambiguously gestured in their direction and have him chance upon me. The real Marauders were too busy laughing at another Slytherin at the other end spitting out pumpkin juice all over Snape. Snape scowled as his greasy hair was drenched in juice.
I chanced a look at Lupin, who was laughing heartily enough and felt a wave of relief wash over me.
Today, we split for next classes between Herbology, Divination, and for me: Healing.
"All right, Poppy, what is it that you do?" I asked once she'd sat me down for my first lesson.
Poppy looked at me sternly. "You will learn the art of Healing, and you will treat me with the respect you'd show a Professor."
"More," I replied, smiling. "Respect and love, Poppy."
Poppy seemed to look quite scandalized, but she didn't bother to retort.
After an hour, time was running out and my first lesson was technically over, but Poppy held me back to help her bandage a first year who'd slipped and twisted her arm during her first broom lesson.
"But not to worry, it's all worth it, it is. Flying's marvelous, isn't it, Raylynx?" Poppy comforted the crying child.
"Er-" I said, thinking of my brother and my own fear of flying.
"Of course it is," Poppy cut me off and that was when I caught a glimpse of the clock.
"Poppy, I've got to go! I'm late for my next lesson."
"Oh, shush, just hold this end of the bandage and-"
"Poppy, I've got Astronomy-"
"Hold the end of the bandage, girl!"
I raced up the extraordinarily long winding staircase up to the Astronomy Tower classroom and finally, bloody finally, opened the classroom door, wheezing loudly.
A bunch of startled sixth years looked up at me, as Professor Collins had already begun his lesson even though I was only one minute late.
"Late," Collins said, not looking from his notes.
"Name?"
"Raylynx Kingsley, sir."
"Sit."
I scanned the room to see, to my utter horror, only one spot open, in the very back besides the Slytherin who had spat his pumpkin juice all over Snape this morning.
He had his feet up on the desk and he was carving something into the wooden table with his wand.
And to his left sat a couple of Slytherin boys, one whom I recognized as a disgustingly brutal boy named Macnair and the other- Regulus.
My breath caught and relief slammed into me like an icy cold ocean wave. He at least looked unharmed.
"You're disobeying my instructions, girl. I told you to take a seat, not stare dim-wittedly at the desks. Five points from Gryffindor."
Anger boiled at this man's irrational personality but I decided it would be better to sit than to argue and lose more house points. I sat cautiously besides the Slytherin boy, whose eyes flickered up at me as I sat down. His lip curled in distaste as he recognized me.
"Crouch, feet off the table," Collins barked.
Slowly and with the most arrogant, insulting manner possible, Crouch dragged his feet off the table before letting them drop loudly against the floor.
Collins began to read again and Crouch's eyes flickered back to me. His tongue flickered out of his mouth before he sneered in a low voice to me, "What're you looking at, you filthy Mudblood?"
I simply looked away, though my jaw was clenched in anger. Mudblood.
"Aren't you a seventh year?" Crouch leered at me, his mouth coming closer and closer to my ear. His voice seemed to slither in a vile way. "It's because the blood running through your brain is so dirty it couldn't handle magical education."
I had trouble breathing as I struggled not to hit this boy. He was disgustingly close to me now, his lips just seconds away from my ears- I was going to lose it- my hand clenched into a tight fist-
"Crouch, Kingsley! If you're going to be behaving such disgustingly in my classroom, I'll put you both in detention for the rest of the year!"
Several rows of unfamiliar and unfriendly faces stared back at me, as I froze from the shock of Collin's assumption.
Crouch sniggered and backed off, though I felt those disgusting eyes still on me.
I didn't hear a word of Collin's lecture the whole time and was the first to gather my unopened book bag and head for the exit. Thankfully, Collins had dismissed us five minutes early.
At the exit, though, Professor Collins stopped me and held out his hand expectantly.
"Professor?" I asked, confused.
"Your class notes," Collins said, looking rather triumphant.
"You were instructed to take notes during class. Had you been here on time, perhaps you might have heard that. Then again, average students seem to take class notes anyways."
He gathered notes from a Gryffindor sixth year behind me and scanning them over, said, "Excellent work. Move along."
Taking another student's notes, he commented to me, "But then, you don't seem to be the average student. You are one of those pathetic students who treat everything as a joke-"
"Professor," I began, frustration at this injustice spilling over, "I don't-"
"But you will not do so in my class. Do you understand me?"
Regulus passed by me, handing a sheet of perfectly annotated and diagrammed notes, including a moving diagram of a star chart.
"Marvelous work, Mr. Black, carry on."
Without a single glance, Regulus moved past us, followed shortly by a group of Slytherin boys.
Has he forgotten me? Was everything between us… just a dream?
"I said, do you understand me?"
"Yes", I said thoughtlessly, "yes, Professor, o-of course."
"Good."
The last student filed out and Professor Collins turned towards me once more. "You have earned zero marks today, Kingsley. So if you wish to pass this class, I suggest you grow up and act in a civilized manner. Good day."
And he slammed the classroom door shut in my face.
Half relieved and half angry, I headed for lunch when I was ambushed by Dorcas in the entrance hall.
"Dorcas? What're you-?"
"I've thought of it, Ray!"
"Thought of what?"
Dorcas glanced around us and dragged me to a quiet corner before whispering, "The perfect place to brew the Potion."
"You have?" I said, feeling the anger slowly drained away by excitement. "Where?"
"Moaning Myrtle's place," Dorcas said and a sly grin slipped over her face
"Of course," I agreed. "She's bound to be a bit annoying, but really, you are a genius, Dorcas."
"Lily," Marlene said one September morning at breakfast as the owls swooped in to drop off the post, "whose owl is that? I've seen it a lot since we've been at school."
She pointed at a handsome tawny owl who bore a blue envelope.
It was true, we'd seen quite a repetition of the owl and the blue envelope over the past few weeks.
"Oh," Lily said casually as she took the letter from the owl, "it's from my boyfriend, Edmund."
"What?" Marlene said, upsetting her cup of pumpkin juice.
"You didn't tell us!" Dorcas said indignantly.
"Well, I didn't- I didn't think it was quite so important", Lily said, coloring slightly.
"Maybe not, but it's unlike you not to tell us," Alice countered gently.
"Edmund Dantes?" Dorcas wondered aloud. "Head Boy last year?"
Lily gave a small nod.
"Wow, he was quite charming," Alice said in awe.
"That's what I thought too," Lily replied, opening the envelope.
"Thought?" Marlene said quickly.
Lily scoffed. "Take a look for yourself." She tossed the letter at us and we all craned our necks to read it.
Dear Lily,
Well, since you couldn't possibly imagine what life outside of Hogwarts is life, let me tell you- it's much harder than any schoolwork you'll have to do. Although I know it doesn't feel that way, so don't think I'm being rude. But really, what you're doing is nothing compared to what I have to do on a daily basis. The Ministry these days is absolute mayhem and we've got nosy people everywhere, particularly news reporters, trying to poke their noses in things we want hushed up…
"Oh, Lily," Alice said sympathetically.
"He's a real arsehole, is what he is," Dorcas said indignantly. "He's completely putting you down and trivializing whatever difficulties you might be going through."
"Yeah, well, when's a guy good-looking and not an arsehole?" Marlene muttered rather bitterly.
Lily shrugged. "Don't worry. I'm planning on getting rid of him soon."
She took the letter back, crumpling it and sticking it into her half-finished glass of pumpkin juice.
"C'mon," she said briskly, "let's get to class."
Marlene stayed back for a moment with me to comment. "You're quiet. No thoughts on Edmund?"
"No, I agree. She deserves much better," I said, "but…"
"But?" Marlene probed.
"The letter said reporters are at the Ministry, trying to find out things the Ministry wants to stay quiet."
"Yeah, so?"
"Does that mean that worse things are going on? Things even worse than what the news is printing?"
We glanced across the table at an open, deserted Daily Prophet.
The headlines flashed "DARK MARK REAPPEARS. FAMILY OF FIVE FOUND DEAD."
"If it is, I don't want to know," Marlene said grimly. "Come on, we'll be late for class."
Suddenly, the clock chimed, indicating the next class was about to begin and the hallways began to empty.
We parted at the second set of stairs- Marlene headed to Divination and I to Dissularation. I rushed up the stairs only to find our way blocked by a foolish Hufflepuff first-year, a Muggle-born, who'd mistakenly asked Slytherin and seventh-year Travers for directions to class.
"You think you have any right to be here, you stupid little girl? Merlin, this place is truly going to the dogs!"
I felt that familiar fear crept into my blood, rooting me to the spot.
As always, the war waged in my mind.
I want to help her.
You're not strong enough to.
I have to interfere.
For what purpose?
For the same purpose your family gave up their lives for you.
"Stop it!" I shouted, stepping in front of the little girl. "Stop it."
Travers laughed when he saw me. "Look who it is. The pathetic sister of the Kingsley family. What, do you feel pity for that little Mudblood girl sniveling behind you?"
"Leave her alone," I said, though I had to fight hard to keep my voice from trembling.
"So I am right. You feel pity for her", Travers sneered.
"Go," I whispered to the little girl and she ran off down the stairs.
"But really, Kingsley, aren't you being too arrogant?" Travers continued. "I hardly think you're in a position to pity anyone. I mean, aren't your Mudblood parents dead?"
I saw only red, the color of a furious, mad anger as I grabbed Travers by the collar and shoved him hard against the wall.
Travers laughed at my pain, though the sound was broken as I'd slammed him against the wall. "Angry? That surprises me. After all, it wasn't much of a loss, was it?"
I drew my wand and pointed it directly at his heart.
"It's just a pity that once we've mangled your neck, Mudblood, they'll be no Kingsley children left to torture. It's been fun picking off your family one by one."
"Stupe-"
"Kingsley!"a loud voice shouted through the hall. "Expelliarmus! Impedimenta!"
My wand went flying out of my hand and an invisible force shoved me away from Travers.
It was Professor Collins and he was livid. "What do you think you were doing?" he snarled at me.
"She was going to stupefy me," Travers said quickly.
Collins' eyes flashed as he growled at me,."He'd die with a Stunner straight to the heart, you stupid girl!"
"To your Head of House! Immediately!" Collins commanded.
"Good," I said tartly, dragging my book bag from my elbow onto my shoulder. "I was just going there anyways."
