Sirius' POV
I was staring at Lily Evans in a mixture of dumbfounded awe and skeptical bemusement.
Our interactions had not changed since she started dating James. We still bickered over everything and irritated each other to no end. But deep down, I sensed a certain fondness for her growing and a protectiveness over her. She, I think, felt the same change towards me.
But once in a while, she'd do something like this, pull something completely out of the blue as if it was all right for someone like her, goody-two-shoes, miss prissy, prefect-and-Head-Girl to suddenly suggest we all sneak out in the dead of the night and head to the Hog's Head because, according to her, there really was no other logical way to celebrate the end of a seven-year period of intense studying.
"That's only because it's you, Lils," James was saying. "The rest of us didn't study seven years' worth. At least not school's stuff, that's for sure."
The four of us Marauders traded silent smirks. I knew he was referring to the long years of study we had devoted to becoming Animagi.
Speaking of, Moony had finally told us how Lily had discovered his secret, only to become closer friends with him than ever. That, combined with the unwavering kindness she showed towards Wormtail had really solidified ties amongst all four of us. It was strange, only a few months ago, she inspired the utmost irritation from me, wariness from Moony, and something very close to fear in Wormtail.
But I could now sort-of appreciation what it was James so liked about her. She was actually rather likable. She was decent, at the very least. And under her demeanor of perfection, she had a mischievous streak of her own that was not to be underestimated.
So even though I gave the appearance of just listening to her offer to placate her, as though she were some little kid, in reality, I was thinking it would be pretty awesome if we could actually pull it off.
"I'll think about it," I finally responded. "But you sure you're not going to go screaming at me if I sip some Firewhiskey?"
Lily glared at me. "Of course I wouldn't scream at you. I'm offering it this time, aren't I?"
"Just making sure," I said teasingly. "Last time you were screaming at me til' you went red in the face. I thought, if I take a couple more sips, that's it, she'll explode."
Lily looked at me as though she was irritated, but I was becoming familiar with that hidden smile playing around the corners of her lips.
"There's a time and place for everything, Sirius. Unfortunately, you always tend to do the wrong things at the wrong time and at the wrong place."
"But that's what makes things interesting," I replied with another smirk.
Lily responded by rolling her eyes as she shoved the last bit of toast in her mouth all at once.
"Very ladylike," I commented.
She simply got up and walked away, grasping James by his upper arm to pull him along. We all followed, lunch being over.
We passed Marlene who sat with Dorcas, Ray, and Alice. She waved to me and I nodded back.
Things between us, though unspoken, had somehow patched up. Time, I guess, had worked its own, mysterious magic.
We exited out into the Great Hall and started to take a left towards the staircases when suddenly I spotted an all-too-familiar mane of greasy blonde hair.
I instinctively tensed. Moony immediately noticed.
"Padfoot, what is it?" he murmured to me.
"What the hell is he doing here?" I stared across the small packs of students entering and exiting the Great Hall at-
"Lucius Malfoy…" James had noticed him too.
"He was the Slytherin prefect when we were first years, wasn't he?" Lily recalled.
"He's a foul bastard, is what he really is," I said, feeling my blood boil at the many times he'd cursed me. "The slimiest git you'll ever meet."
"Well yeah, that greasy hair says it all, doesn't it?" James said in a clipped voice.
"Let's move on," Remus said. His voice was quiet, but he firmly took my arm and steered me away from a confrontation. I tried to go numb, to trust Moony, and let him lead the way, because I could feel the hatred bubbling up through my veins. If I got too near him, I really would lose it.
But why was he here? I wondered. What could he possibly be doing at Hogwarts? Surely he wasn't coming to pay his respects to Dumbledore. He'd once spent half an hour scathingly criticizing Dumbledore and calling him a disgusting "Mudblood-lover", a "deaf and blind old man who'd clearly lost his wits" and "the worst Headmaster Hogwarts ever had".
I'd retorted by reminding him that said "dead and blind old man" would whoop his ass any given day. He hadn't taken too kindly to said fact.
"Sirius," Remus said. He was staring down at my hand, which had tightened into a fist to the point that my nail were digging into my palm.
"Sorry, Moony," I said gruffly. "I'm fine, really."
Moony and I were so absorbed in our interactions and Prongs with Evans, that neither of us noticed then the almost wistful glance Pete shot at Lucius Malfoy, as though he envied Malfoy's seemingly impressive dignity and elegance, and wished he could have some of that aura too, no matter for what reason.
Raylynx's POV
It had been a thoroughly awkward apology to Jared, but it was done and I was glad for it.
It wasn't until a few days had passed and the awkwardness had worn off a bit that Jared came up to me and requested that we study together for the Task.
In this way, Julian, Jared, and I suddenly became if not friends, at least alliances, despite our incredibly different personalities and backgrounds.
Julian was always optimistic, cheerful, and easy-going. The thought of a challenge excited him and he liked being a Champion: the attention, the challenges, all of it. Sometimes his mind liked to wander off and he fantasized a little too spontaneously and ecstatically during our study sessions.
Jared, on the other hand, was almost scarily focused and efficient. He was stern, as I'd known from the second I'd met him, but he also had a very dry sense of humor that made me laugh quite a lot. And though he would never admit it, I think he liked attention from people he knew, though he was quick to scold me to stay focused whenever I got carried away by snickering at his snide remarks.
Anyways, the scent of competition was still very strong in the air and it nearly thickened into a visible smoke the nearer we got to the Third Task, but I must admit, looking back, we did enjoy those hours together, wondering about the possibilities of a Third Task.
It was after one of these late evening study sessions that I managed to sneak down to the one-eyed witch's hump, barely avoiding Filch.
"Dissendium," I whispered and her hump slid open for me. I dropped down and found the others already waiting for me.
"Come on, quick, let's go!"
The excited whispers of Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Jay, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all mingled together in the narrow hallway and we took off together with Sirius at the lead.
We were all so giddy as we hadn't been since we were first-years and we such a lively group, tripping and falling all over the place as we held hands, whistled merry tunes, and told bad jokes.
Finally, Sirius' head bumped across the stone rather loudly; laughter shouted out but was quietly shushed and we all crept out. There was a flurry of spells as Lily, James, and Dorcas disarmed all the alarms and we quietly crept out into the village itself.
We passed the Three Broomsticks, which was about twenty minutes from closing anyways, and headed for the Hog's Head instead.
I'd never been inside here, not once, in all my seven years.
It was musty and quite dirty, without the warm glow of a brilliant fireplace like the Three Broomsticks. Rather, stubby little candles sat on rough wooden tables. It was quite dark and dingy.
"Lovely spot," Jay said apprehensively. Clearly, he'd never been here either.
In fact, it became clear by the looks on everyone's faces that no one had been here before. It made sense, really, half of us were decent enough folk to drink not much more than butterbeer once a month at the Three Broomsticks, as was expected of most students, and the other half of us (particularly two of us) simply charmed all the illegal drinks they wanted out of Madam Rosmerta.
We were a suddenly quiet bunch as we sat down, the chairs scraping awkwardly against the stone floor.
"Um, I'll go and get drinks, shall I? Everybody cough out some gold," James said, and we did as told.
It had only just occurred to me that there were five boys and five girls. Lily and James sat across from each other and so did Dorcas and Jay, Marlene and Sirius, and since they were quietly talking about N.E.W.T.s, Alice and Peter made to sit across from each other.
That left me sitting across from Remus and I felt distinctly uncomfortable in this position.
The last time I'd been physically close to him was when I'd been a cat squirming in his huge claws, literally, the claws of death. But of course, he wasn't to know that.
"How are you, Raylynx? You did remarkably well on your last task," Remus commented to me.
In the background, we could hear the wrangling between James and the barman going on.
Remus gave a slightly amused smile at the bantering going on at the bar.
"I was just lucky," I mumbled.
"I would consider luck a talent, just as much as skill," Remus replied to me.
I tried to smile, but in my mind I thought: And is that why you're so hard on yourself? Because you attribute this miserable luck of becoming a werewolf as your own failure?
"I was also extremely impressed that you managed to finish with Sirius screaming at you like a lunatic from the stands," Remus continued.
I laughed, though I felt myself stiffen when Sirius' head turned to hear who had said his name.
Sirius and I had not talked about what had occurred during the Second Task at all. In fact, we'd gone back to rarely speaking, save for what occasion required when I bumped into him in the hallways or sat beside him at meals when Lily sat beside James.
"He was helping me. You're too nice, Lupin. You give me too much credit," I replied, and finished the sentence in my mind: And too cruel to yourself.
Remus gave me a sort-of half smile and said, only half-joking, "Is that why we don't get along?"
I shook my head. I wanted to say something, anything. So I blurted out my true feelings, "You're too good for me, Lupin."
Lupin's face twisted into a grim smile, "That's because you don't know the half of it."
Before I could respond, James called over to our table for some help with carrying the mugs as the barman didn't trust this "scrawny kid" to properly magick them over. James' voice was irritated- Remus and I both grinned. We knew how he hated that word "scrawny". It was one of his few weak points. In fact, I was surprised Lily never hit upon that magic word during all the years she'd screamed at him. Though I suppose if she had, she might not have fallen for him. In fact, if anything had been one bit different, everything now would be too. That was the beauty and the tragedy of life.
Remus got up rather abruptly. I sensed he wanted to end this conversation and so I followed his lead and quietly walked behind him to the bar to gather up some mugs. I thought I heard the "bah" sound of a goat and so I glanced up reflexively to locate the sound.
It was then, when I was reaching for the mugs (before I was holding them, thank goodness, because I would have straight dropped them) and looking for said "goat", that I saw him.
"You!"
Everybody turned to look at me; even the few tired old customers here who weren't in our group.
"Ray?" Marlene called uncertainly, "What's wrong?"
"I've seen you before," I said, not really registering how loud I was being.
"If you come to Hogsmeade once a month, I'm sure you have," the man replied gruffly. "Now quit your yelling or I'll have to throw you out for interrupting my customers."
I stayed silent but remained at the bar, struck dumb.
Startled, I looked up to see a tall, ashy-bearded man standing on the other side of the gate, in the cemetery.
"I…I didn't realize you were there," I said, still catching my breath.
"Clearly, because you also didn't realize that you were blocking my way," the man said, indicating that I was leaning on the gate that was only way in or out of the cemetery, unless you wanted to climb over the gate or bushes.
"Sorry," I said, backing away. He passed through the gate and all the while, I couldn't seem to take my eyes off him.
"Have I got something on my face?" he asked gruffly.
I hesitated and then told the truth, "You look like someone I know, that's all."
"Who's that?"
I hesitated again. If this man was a Muggle…
"You wouldn't know him," I said, "but his name is Dumbledore."
The man's eyebrows raised and he said grimly, "That's a damn shame."
"Y-you know him?" I asked. Then, is this man a wizard?
"No, a damn shame that you misinterpreted my question," the man replied. He nodded towards the end of the street, "I was asking you if you knew who that fellow was."
I turned to look and saw James half-jogging, half-walking down the sidewalk, his head turning side to side like a giraffe's. He was obviously looking for me.
"Oh, yeah, he's a frien-"
When I turned back, the man was gone.
"If you aren't going to order anything, get away from the bar," he ordered me.
"I saw you at Godric's Hollow…two summers ago," I recalled. "You were at the cemetery."
He didn't say anything, but as he made to move away again, I continued, "I thought you were a Muggle."
Suddenly, another thought struck me, "So then, you do know Dumbledore."
The barman looked at me properly for the first time.
He hadn't said a word, but I continued, "You avoided the question, but you do know Dumbledore, don't you?"
He seemed to study me hard under his bushy eyebrows for a moment before he finally admitted, "I know Dumbledore, all right. I am Dumbledore."
"What?" I stared at him, completely bewildered. I mean, they looked alike, but not that alike. "You're…?"
"Dumbledore. That's my last name. I'm Aberforth Dumbledore."
"You're his brother?" I guessed.
He seemed not to hear me for a long while, but when I remained at the bar, staring at him, he finally gave a short nod.
When I didn't speak for a time, he said testily, "What, shocked to see the little brother of genius Albus as nothing but a barman?"
"No, not at all," I said, caught off guard. In fact, that was the last thing I had been thinking about. I was, after all, the younger sibling of two genius siblings myself, though admittedly, not quite to the Headmaster's level.
Something about my tone must have caught his attention because he finally stopped attempting to wash a filthy glass with his filthy rag and scrutinized me before saying, "I know you. You're that Kingsley girl. I've seen your picture in the newspaper. You're Hogwarts Champion, aren't you? For the TriWizard Tournament?"
"Why did you pretend like you didn't know your older brother?" I asked him, ignoring his questions.
He glared at me a bit as he responded, "Not really your business, is it?"
"It's just… Well, I can't imagine pretending not to know my siblings," I replied honestly. "I can't imagine being estranged from them."
"Who said anything about estranged?"
"Nobody. But it just seems like it."
We fell silent again and this time, I noticed I was getting a few stares from my friends back at the table. But I felt like if I just waited a little, I would get an answer.
Sure enough, he began to speak a little pause later, "Truth is, when you're younger, nobody believes family can break apart. Nobody imagines that."
I felt a little stab in my heart as he said this because it was so true.
"But things… things happen," he finished, rather lamely.
"But you can fix things, can't you? As long as you're alive and he's alive…" I subconsciously realized I was just planting my beliefs on him- that as long as Jamie and Sola and I were alive, even if our parents weren't, there was still the tiniest hope that someday, we'd be all right again.
But the barman shook his head, "Yeah, but she ain't."
"She?" I asked curiously.
But he had had enough of me. "Go! Go back to your friends before I tell my brother where you all are."
There was no question that he really meant it this time, so I scampered back to my table.
We left soon after, timing it so we'd be back just as Filch ended his night shift.
"What were you talking to the barman about?" Marlene asked me curiously.
I answered with the first word that came to mind, "Goats."
We slept quite late that night, and I fell asleep latest of all, for I was sober and filled with thought.
First Lancelot, and now Dumbledore's own brother; why was it that they both suggested that Dumbledore wasn't as…well, good, as the rest of the world was inclined to believe?
I, for one, trusted Dumbledore above anybody else. And no, it wasn't just because he was intelligent. But he had that gentle smile, those twinkling eyes, and that colorful sense of humor. He was genuinely good. Perhaps the others were just jealous…? But no… I drifted off to sleep in a cloud of messy thoughts.
The evening before the meeting regarding the Third Task, I spent it on the roof of Hogwarts. Somehow we'd all managed to sneak up onto the roof of Gryffindor Tower through the boys' dormitory.
This time, since we did it during the late afternoon, just about sunset, Riley Smith and John Prewitt joined us as they were, after all, the Marauders' roommates and happened to be at the room during that time.
We watched the glorious colors of a just-about spring sunset splash across the sky. The cool breeze picking up brushed through our hair like fingers gently untangling knots.
It was very pretty and we all experienced a sense of peace up there. Little did I know it would be one of the last times where I experienced an innocent, everlasting peace. All moments of peace after this would be disturbingly isolated and solitary. But of course, I didn't know that then.
I was sitting beside Alice. We were looking at the sunset spilling colors on the cloud and trying to decipher what they looked like.
"I think that one looks an owl."
"But it's all alight and glowing golden like a dragon, don't you see?"
"But if you tilt your head, it looks more like a phoenix."
Besides us, we could hear James say to Remus, "Well, I think it looks like a deranged rabbit. You see the way it's ear's all bent and wacked out? Yeah, definitely a mad, mad rabbit."
It was such a bizarre conversation, but Remus seemed to be having the time of his life, almost rolling around on the roof in laughter.
Alice and I both smiled. There was a heartbeat of a pause and then Alice said, "You've heard about it, haven't you? I've told you before."
"What?"
"About the Order of the Phoenix," Alice said quietly. "Dumbledore's organization against You-Know-Who."
"Are you going to join?" I asked, lowering my voice as well. "I thought you had your heart set on being an Auror."
"I don't think they have to be exclusive. The Order will need insiders in the Ministry."
"And you're ready to do that? You feel prepared to spy on the Ministry and fight for your life?" I couldn't help but let the skepticism creep into my voice.
Of all people, Alice was going to be spying and dueling?
She sensed my skepticism and met me with a strong sense of defiance. She raised her eyes and looked straight at me. "I'm ready. I know it will be scary and hard, but I'm ready. This is what I was born to do. And for now, at least, I am not afraid."
I was taken aback by this new side of Alice or maybe it'd always been there and I just hadn't been attentive enough to see her petals quietly blossoming open, ready to live in full sunlight and ready to take on the harsh frost of winter, even.
And I saw us sitting there, all five of us girls and I recognized in each of us something quiet and solemn in our manners that I doubt we would have ever shared had the war not begun just as we were leaving Hogwarts.
"Ray, don't you have to go?" Dorcas called to me. "It's nearly eight thirty."
"Right, yeah," I said and pushed myself off the roof.
"Be careful!" Lily called worriedly. It was a long fall to the glittering shores of the Lake below.
I slowly made my way down and then Sirius and Riley were there to help me ease back down through the window.
"Hold on to my hand tight," Riley said, and grasped my hand in his.
Sirius said nothing, only took my other hand.
They slowly eased me through the window and when Riley called, "All right, let go!" I did.
"You all right?" Riley asked me and I ducked my head out to wave at him, letting him know I was fine.
Then, I went down all the way to the dungeons for information on the upcoming Third Task.
"Very well, gather around, gather around," Mr. MacFarlan said, giving his trademark smile to all of us.
"The Third Task is to be held on the twenty-fourth of June, in one month's time. We won't tell you where and we won't tell you what, but again, here is a clue: Magic is more than the senses. Magic is beyond physical properties. It has the power to shatter illusions so long as you have the courage and wit to see it through to the end."
I was, once again, utterly confused, but at least I knew that I could speak with the others tomorrow at the library.
"Remember, you are excused from your end-of-year exams, but we advise you to thoroughly prepare for the Third Task. It will require everything you have. Now, the day before the twenty-fourth, we shall gather in the Great Hall at noon one last time before the last Task. Remember that date. Good Luck to you, Champions." He gave each of us a pat on the shoulder and then excused us.
I strode out into the hallway and bid the others good-bye at the Great Hall. They left the castle to go down to their own dormitories. I started to turn away when suddenly a paper bird flew directly in front of me, flapping its wings. I held out my hand and it dropped into my palm.
I unfolded it to find that elegant, fancy script: Would you meet me in the secret passageway behind the tapestry of King Arthur and his knights on the fourth floor? I swear to you that this is the last time I'll ask you for anything. I just want to apologize to you properly… although that may no longer be possible.
I stood there, still as stone, reading and re-reading the words over and over again until I thought enough time had passed that he might have given up and left.
Then, I suddenly burst into sprints and ran all the way to the fourth floor and as soon as the hall was clear, ducked into the secret passageway.
His back was to me, but he turned immediately when he heard me. His eyes filled with relief when he saw me standing there.
I was so terribly torn between running away from him and embracing him as tightly as I could, but they both cancelled each other out and equated to absolute stillness.
"Raylynx. You came."
"Why did you ask me to come?" I hardly knew what to say. I hardly sounded like myself. I didn't know why I came. I was hoping he could supply that reason for me.
He looked down in shame. "To apologize. For… where to begin? For the terrible things I said to you in the cupboard. I was being so selfish, blaming you for not living up to expectations that I alone had pushed onto you. And then for…"
His voice died for a second, but with a deep breath, he continued, "For that time where I… I tortured you. I can't- Raylynx, I haven't been able to sleep since-"
He swallowed and then looked up at me and said with utmost sincerity, "I'm so sorry. Could you ever forgive me?"
My mind was frozen. God damn it, Raylynx, say what you mean! Go all the way with it, for once! Tell him what you feel!
But my lips would not move apart. I simply wasn't smart enough to put into words what I felt for him: all the fear and admiration, horror and respect, disgust and love, all mixed together. How could I begin to tell him that he was precisely the sort-of person I wanted to kill, but I didn't, because it was him. And I loved him. Not in the way that he wanted, but…But how to say all this?
His eyebrows furrowed together and he stepped closer, looking down at me with those curious silver eyes. They were so reminiscent of his innocent gaze back from his first year that I almost smiled. Instead, I stepped back, away from him.
"Raylynx?" His voice was but a hesitating whisper, hovering on the air with hope.
Slowly, I started to shake my head. This is impossible. To tell him that I love him without hurting him is impossible. To explain what he means to me with utmost honesty would be unfair to him.
I took another step away from him and began to shake my head more furiously. Something hot burned at the edges of my eyes.
And right there and then, I saw Regulus give up. He just gave up. All that hopefulness that had been the sole thing to keep his being alive and warm disappeared so suddenly, like a light going out.
His head dropped and his eyes faded into a dull, dark silver.
I shuddered. Was he going to attack me?
Instead, he came up to me and drew out from his robes, not a wand, but a small elegantly carved box. It was made of an ivory white wood and encrusted with bright starlike white jewels and ocean blue sapphires.
He reached out and took my hand. I trembled, but for once, neither he nor I drew away. We both felt something terribly final in the air and were willing to withstand whatever was necessary for these last few moments with each other.
He placed the box in my hand and then took my other hand so that I was cradling the box between both my hands.
He continued to hold my hands as he said quietly, "This is a music box passed down the generations of Blacks. It was the last thing Sirius gave to me before he came to Hogwarts. I think he always knew how I must have felt as a younger sibling, burdened by the expectations of everything and heir to nothing."
He paused, and then said in a soft voice, "Raylynx, I truly care for you. If you choose to forget me, please remember that, at least. I really, above everything else, wish for your happiness. So you don't need to feel guilty in any way about loving Sirius. And should that idiot ever realize how lucky he is… I wish you two only the best. It makes sense, in a strange way, the two people I love most…"
His voice was heavier then, thick with emotion, as he said, "After all, you were different, Raylynx. Regardless of what you may have felt, you chose me, and that's more than anyone has ever shown me in my life."
My hands started to tremble worse, but for a different reason.
Tell him, Raylynx! Tell him you love him!
I bit my lip. I can't do that without hurting him!
He dropped his hands. He must have thought I was trembling in fear of him.
"I'll keep my promise. I won't bother you again. And if we ever encounter each other after Hogwarts…I can't say that I won't have fallen into my own beliefs to keep my own sanity. If you see me again and I've lost myself, try your hardest to kill me, all right?"
He hid his eyes from me, looking down at the ground as he walked down to the other end of the secret passageway that led out onto the fourth floor besides the staircase that led to the Slytherin dungeons.
Then, with a swish of a cloak, he was gone.
The paper note bird flew out from my pocket and uttered a heart-wrenching cry before it burst into flames before my very eyes. But it was only a normal bird and not a phoenix. Like the little time Regulus and I had burned together, it would not rise up from its ashes ever again.
Then, all was still, save for a chill breeze that passed through the corridor.
Yet for the third time that night, I trembled again.
