Raylynx's POV

"Raylynx. Thank you for inviting me to your sister's wedding."

"Remus! Thank you for coming!"

The ceremony, which had been so gorgeous and emotional, had ended. It flowed naturally into a reception, out in the gardens where glimmering gold and lavender lights hung everywhere by magic, bouncing lightly, in the air, and orchids and lilies had been strung in the oak branches, and champagne in crystal glasses self-replenished endlessly. Couples had begun to dance. I spotted my brother and Amy dancing together just a little way away. The music was slow and peaceful.

"I put on my best robes," Remus was saying, "But I'm afraid they're a bit too shabby-"

"Oh, don't," I stopped Remus. "My sister made friends in the highest circles of government and fashion. They're overdressed, and if you ask me, they all look a bit silly."

Remus chuckled. "I did notice that a few of the guests were dressed a bit… flamboyantly for someone else's wedding."

"Still, none of it took away from your sister or her husband," he added kindly. "The ceremony was beautiful."

"It really was," I agreed. "I can't tell you how happy I am for them. Especially for my sister. Not only to have married a wizard, but a man as good as Chris. Sola deserves every bit of it. And no matter what else Sola has accomplished, being the youngest witch for this and that, I'm convinced my parents would have been the proudest of her today."

Remus smiled at me.

"Did you know there's always been a poltergeist at Hogwarts?" I asked Remus. "His name is Peeves. Apparently, he was always there, but the teachers never told us. He only recently took on a physical form, just to amuse himself."

"A shame we didn't know," Remus replied. "We could have used him."

"And sometimes I wonder what happened to that map of yours," I told Remus. "I wonder what happened about Filch took it away."

"He probably chucked it. I don't know if he ever really guessed what it was."

"And do you know? It sucks to be a teacher. I can't sneak out onto the grounds or to Hogsmeade or to the kitchens, in fear of running into my students."

Remus smiled, amused. "Why would that scare you? You would be punishing them. And there's no need to sneak into Hogsmeade, you could just go."

"I know, but it wouldn't be a great reputation, would it, if I were to go down and get drinks every night."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Would you? I didn't think you cared much for drinking."

"I don't, but it's just the principle of the whole thing," I explained, lifting my champagne glass.

"Ah," he said, teasingly. "The principle of wanting to drink without judgment- what an upstanding thing for you to fight for." He raised his glass to mine.

"You know me, fighting for all the wrong things," I said, trying to carry on the joke.

We both paused, obviously thinking about Sirius.

But Remus ignored it and said, "I think being back at Hogwarts is agreeing with you. I'm glad you took the job. You feel…" He hesitated, and then said cautiously, "You feel more alive to me now than before."

"I do, too," I admitted, and I felt both the happiness and anxiety of that statement hit me. For a moment, we sat in silence, watching the beautiful couples dancing under the lights, like ballerina figurines dancing in lighted porcelain music boxes. My hand tightened slightly around the neck of my crystal champagne glass as I mused aloud, "Is that all right, though? What if I'm forgetting… things I shouldn't forget? What if, after everything, I've become too complacent?" I avoided looking at Remus' expression, anxious over what he might say.

But Remus said kindly and calmly, "No. That is what you're supposed to be doing. I know it, Raylynx. You're doing the right thing. You're finally healing."

And I was. Remus was right. And the years passed by that way.

I spent the years trying to be a better professor, and whenever I could- visiting the friends and family I still had beside me. I visited Jamie and Amy, Sola and Chris, the Weasley family, and Augusta and Neville all the time. I was part-excited and part-apprehensive about the Weasley twins entering Hogwarts as they were shaping up to be truly formidable pranksters. I didn't know how Mr. and Mrs. Weasley managed that family. Meanwhile, Bill was secretly my favorite student and Charlie was a Quidditch superstar (much to McGonagall's and my utter delight) and that little girl I had seen with the flashing pink hair was in fact- a Metamorphagus, and her name was none other than Nymphadora Tonks. And when Augusta told me she was concerned that Neville was a Squib, I had to remind her who Neville's parents and that she was not to worry. I still went to St. Mungo's as well and read to Alice and Frank. Sometimes, I thought Alice was trying to repeat my words back to me, though they were not sensible words. She would grab my hand and blubber at me, somewhat imitating the length and tone of whatever sentence I had read. And I would sit and squeeze her hand gently and read the sentence again and wait until she either smiled or fell silent and then softly continue. I still wrote about Sirius and I protested during the holidays and when I came back, half of my students had dropped my class. More than a few parents sent letters to me and Dumbledore, demanding that I stop protesting or resign. Neither Dumbledore nor I ever acknowledged these letters. There was one point where Snape asked Dumbledore to reconsider hiring me, at which point, I asked Snape if he would prefer if I write about his Death Eater days and asked Dumbledore for permission to stick Snape's head in Moaning Myrtle's toilet. Dumbledore politely "a-hemed" asked us to cease fire, and then the next day, McGonagall shouted at me, so furiously that all the staff avoided the staff room all of that morning. Snape and I kept our hatred between us, then, though we bth sprinted whenever we heard a Slytherin or Gryffindor had gotten into an altercation, to see who could take off House Points first. It was all so petty and so childish, but without that streak of pettiness within me, I don't think I would have had it in me to live again. If I kept insisting, as I had before, that Dumbledore challenge the Ministry to let Sirius go, or that Snape should have protected Lily- if I really let this out- there would be no future for me, only misery. And so, although I neither forgot nor forgave them, I tried to strike enough of a peace in my heart and to take the petty victories, to move forward enough to be living again. It was Remus' words that stuck in my head: I am certain that whatever happiness may exist is to be found in the future and not in the past. Not in the past. Not in holding on, but by letting go. … If Sirius was at all the man I thought he was, then he would want you to be happy.

And in this way, my days went by.

But some days, I still took multiple steps back.

For example, the day I went to visit Harry on his seventh birthday, I tried to leave a little present for him on the doorstep. I hid in the bushes in my cat form as I watched Vernon step out for work. He bent down and seeing that the tiny parcel was addressed to Harry, angrily chucked it into the trash.

Later that day, I heard yelling and when I rushed to the window that they had left open, I saw that they had locked Harry under the cupboard.

All of the teachers had come back a week or so before to plan for the new term, and when I didn't show up for one of the meetings, McGonagall came and found me sobbing in my office.

When she asked me what was wrong, I cried, "I have to take care of Harry. I have to. He's Lily and James' son! He's my godson, and they're treating him worse than an animal."

"Raylynx…" McGonagall said, sitting beside me.

"He would have been so loved," I whispered. "And he doesn't even know. He has no idea… Why would Dumbledore do this to him?"

"I'm sure he has his reasons," McGonagall said quietly. "I'm sorry, Raylynx. But he'll be at Hogwarts soon and you can tell him about it then."

And so I waited. I waited for Harry to come to Hogwarts.

Harry coming to Hogwarts would be the final opportunity, the moment I was waiting for, to put things right- or so I believed.