Remus' POV
The three of us returned from Diagon Alley. I breathed a sigh of relief when no Aurors or Hit Wizards descended on us upon our return. Sirius immediately went to check on Buckbeak and Harry went to deposit his new trinkets and games in his room. I went into the kitchen and set the fire salamander, who was in a tiny glass box, down on the counter.
"Sit tight a second. I've got a much bigger home for you," I promised him. I turned on the stove and put a frying pan on it to heat it up, thinking of cooking some salmon and vegetables for dinner. I then went to wash my hands and collect my old glass tank (which I'd used to house the grindylow in) for the salamander.
Unbeknownst to me, the salamander stared hungrily at the tiny blue flames flickering on the stove under the pan. The salamander pushed against the glass above his head. It didn't give. He leapt up, pushing his head against it again. It cracked over just a little. Another jump – and he was free. He managed to climb over the edge of the small glass box before falling clumsily onto the counter. He skidded on the slippery tile, but he managed to make his way into the flames. He licked at the stove flames happily, and then slid himself under the pan despite the tight squeeze.
I came back into the kitchen, carrying the large tank. I set it down on the table and walked back over to the counter where I'd set the salamander in his little box down. But he was gone.
I blinked. Where's he gone? My eyes skittered across the counter, but I didn't see anything.
Oh, dear. Oh, Merlin. Where's it gone? I dropped to my hands and knees and frantically searched the ground, checking under the table and chairs and even the refrigerator.
I didn't notice that the salamander had slipped out and was perched on the low windowsill just behind the stove, where its tail caught the end of the kitchen window curtains.
I backed out from under the table and started to stand when I bumped my head against the edge of the table.
"Ow," I murmured and sat back down to rub my head.
I still didn't notice the steady trail of fire rising slowly up the curtains. But I smelled it.
At that moment, Harry had come into the kitchen, just in time to see the fire spreading quickly across the top of the curtains and starting to eat the fabric of the opposite curtain as well.
"Er – Professor! Professor Lupin!" Harry yelled.
I looked up from where I was sitting to see the fire licking at the ceiling.
Sirius, having heard Harry shouting, raced in. "Bloody hell!" he shouted. "What the hell's going on in here?"
"The salamander got loose," I said, quickly standing up.
Sirius drew his wand and made to extinguish the fire with a large douse of water, but I grabbed his arm to stop him.
"No!" I said. "You can't hit the salamander directly with water. It could kill him!"
Harry tried to help by cupping his hands together and pouring water only on the fire closest to us, which was on the stove. Unfortunately, the fire was carrying grease chemicals from the stove and frying plan, and the fire burst into a roar as it feed on the vapor.
I yanked Harry out of the way as the fire bloomed in the air before our very eyes. "Stop! Stop!" I cried out.
"Remus, we have to do something!" Sirius said, frustrated.
At that moment, the Muggle fire alarm went off.
"Damn it, turn that thing off!" Sirius shouted. "We don't want Muggle enforcement showing up."
Harry climbed on top of the table and fumbled with the fire alarm, trying to figure out how to turn it off. He pressed the button multiple times, but it kept blaring.
The fire was growing by the second.
I hurriedly scanned the kitchen one last time for the salamander.
Sirius picked up on what I was doing. With a groan, he made up his mind. "This is going to hurt," he muttered through gritted teeth. But he raised his wand anyways and shouted, "Accio salamander!"
The salamander shot up from behind the stove and whizzed into Sirius' outstretched hand. He winced as the salamander squirmed and flared up in his hand, burning him.
"What in Merlin's name is going on!?" Coughing, Raylynx joined the fray at that moment.
She chose the wrong moment.
I'd just pointed my wand at the ceiling. A deluge of water poured from the ceiling, drenching everything and finally dousing the fire.
To keep himself from getting electrocuted, Harry had finally resorted to yanking the batteries out of the alarm. It fell silent.
Sirius, who had been holding the salamander tightly in his cupped hands to keep it safe from the waterfall, looked at it between his hands and hissed, "You were supposed to be low-maintenance!"
"Sirius, what are you talking about?" Raylynx demanded.
There was a pause, in which Harry and I looked guiltily at each other. Then, Sirius slowly opened his hands.
"What- What is that?" Raylynx asked nervously. She blinked as she took in the little creature smoldering in Sirius' hands. "Is that… a salamander?"
"A fire-breathing one, I think," Harry said. He was still holding the ripped-apart fire alarm in his hand. "It's, er- well, it's yours, Professor."
"Mine?" Raylynx repeated uncertainly.
Harry swallowed nervously. Wanting to spare Harry when all he had was good intentions and when I'd picked out the salamander myself, I answered, a bit warily, "Yes. It's your pet."
Raylynx stepped closer to Sirius and then peered down at the little fire salamander. "They say you're mine," she said, speaking to the salamander directly. "Is that true?"
He stared back up at her with curious, happy eyes, totally oblivious to the absolute mayhem he'd just caused. He wriggled his body happily, causing his bright red flames to flare up around his body.
Raylynx suddenly cried out, "Sirius, your hands!"
"Yeah, I reckon that twinges a bit," Sirius said through gritted teeth.
Harry rushed to bring the small glass box over. Using a magazine, Harry shoved the salamander back in the box.
"Here, I'll take that," I said, intending to put it into the larger box. But as I took it from Harry, a loud voice boomed behind us.
"Oye! Fire Department! What's going on?"
Raylynx gasped. She turned and promptly shoved the fireman out of her kitchen, yelling, "We're fine! We're fine! All fine here!" Meanwhile, Harry chucked the destroyed fire alarm into the sink. He'd seen Uncle Vernon once yelled at by a fireman before when Uncle Vernon impatiently smashed the fire alarm into pieces with his hammer for not shutting up.
I was hot on Raylynx's heels, trying to hide Sirius from view. To be completely honest, I wasn't sure what the difference between the Muggle "Fire Department" was from the rest of Muggle law enforcement. Did they douse down criminals with water? Unlikely. Still, I'd figured Sirius had had well enough of the elements today and wanted to spare him from the hose, if that was what these firemen did, though likely not.
Raylynx managed to push the fireman back out onto her front porch. I rather marveled at her strength and nerve. I was also busy shoving the salamander into my sweater pocket before the officer could notice.
"Sorry, sir," Raylynx said to the firefighter. "But you're not needed here!"
"I'll be the judge of that, miss," the firefighter snapped. My eyes fell to where his name was stitched into his protective gear. It read: "Mike."
"What happened here?" "Mike" demanded.
I paused, weighing my options. To my knowledge, Muggles had salamanders as pets too. I started to speak. "It was a sal-"
"- duh," Raylynx finished for me. "The kitchen caught fire while we were…" She paused and turned a bright red as she finished her sentence by whispering, "… cooking a salad."
"We- We like to torch the chicken," I suggested, awkwardly rubbing my neck. My pocket suddenly jostled as the salamander tried to escape his box. I quickly slapped my hand down on it. The fireman stared at me.
Raylynx and I both stood there, mortified. Finally, Mike grumbled and shook his head. He went away, muttering about "the idiots who have the nerve to waste resources."
When the fire trunk finally left, Raylynx closed the front door silently. I pulled out the glass box with the salamander in it from my pocket. We looked down at it.
"Why didn't you just let me say it was a salamander?" I asked. "Muggles have salamanders."
"Yes, but not fire-breathing ones," Raylynx replied. She stared down at the little creature, who was now flicking his tongue at her playfully. "And the fireman might have asked to see the salamander, and he might have taken him away."
"You like the salamander," I realized, suddenly feeling brighter. I'd guessed right. She liked it.
"That's a bit hasty," Raylynx pushed back. "It-"
"- He -" I corrected.
"He almost burned my house down!"
"Just your kitchen."
Raylynx's head snapped up as she glared at me, irritated.
"Er – sorry," I said, abashed.
She sighed. "But yes, I suppose he's cute." She turned away to hide the smile spreading across her face, but I caught it anyways.
I hummed lightly as we made our way back to the kitchen. When we came in, Sirius quickly shoved his hands in his pockets. Harry and Sirius had managed to vanish away all of the smoke. Harry had also fished the fire alarm back out of the sink. Even between the two of them, Sirius and Harry could not find out how to attach the correct wires again. As the alarm beeped feebly, Sirius put a Silencing Charm on it before putting it back up. The curtains were gone. All that was left was a thin tatter along the top. And the frying pan was a twisted metal blob that was welded to the stove, which, I realized with a jolt of guilt, had been on this whole time. Sirius must have turned it off while we were "negotiating" with the fireman. There was also a large black streak on the ceiling and the refrigerator.
Raylynx took in the state of her kitchen and putting her hand up to her face, she pinched the bridge of her nose.
The next moment, she yelled, "Sirius Black, you complete arse!"
Sirius' mouth dropped open. "Why're you only yelling at me? Moony contributed!"
"Oh, great, tattle on your best friend like that!"
"I'm just saying-"
"I'm yelling at you because I know that this was your idea and you somehow roped Moony into this, you big buffoon!"
Later that evening, when we'd finally pried the remains of the frying pan off of the stovetop, I made us salmon and vegetables just like I'd planned. We all sat together at the table. Raylynx and Harry were reading a book of names together, trying to pick one out for the salamander.
I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my shin. I glanced up to see that Sirius had kicked me intentionally under the table. Out of the corner of his mouth, he growled at me, "It was your idea."
I coughed delicately and folded my hands primly atop the table as I determinedly looked away from Sirius' scowling face.
Raylynx's POV
Perhaps it was the fact that my recent mission to Beauxbatons made me think of the tragedy of the TriWizard Tournament or maybe it was the fiasco with the fire salamander, but that night, I dreamed of the black tree in the Albanian mountains. It was on fire, and someone was strapped to it, screaming – Julian. I raced over to him to free him, but an enormous snake dropped from the tree and onto my head. A writhing mass of scales constrained me, choked me. The snake's tail slithered across my neck – and squeezed.
My eyes flashed open. My hands were scrabbling at my neck, even though there was nothing there. My face was drenched with sweat. I turned over and tried to catch my breath.
Finally, after a few minutes had passed and I was sure that my reality was that I was safe at home, I stumbled to the bathroom, where I washed my face. Even though I knew I was being paranoid, I took my wand with me, just in case. As I wiped my face with the towel, I saw that my neck was bleeding ever so slightly. I lifted my head and realized that my nail had cut my throat. I carefully wiped the red line away and then, throwing the towel in the wash basket, I left the bathroom.
As I made my way back across the hallway, I realized that I could just make out Sirius lying on the floor of the living room. As I approached him, I realized that he was holding an ice pack and grimacing a little as he slept. Besides him lay his wand. I realized that he had probably tried to heal his own hands, and that the magic hadn't come to him.
I crept around him as lightly as I possibly could. I gently knelt down, and then I carefully slid the ice pack from his hands. I rolled up my sleeves and then, repeating the words "ardeat ad sanandum" over and over in my mind, I very slowly and intentionally waved my wand over his hands without touching them.
Healing Magic wasn't my strongest suit, so trying to do this nonverbally and without actually touching his hands was extremely difficult for me, though I was sure Poppy could have done it in a second. I held my breath as I willed the magic to flow through me. After multiple tries, I felt my wand hum and vibrate in my hand, and I knew I had done it.
I fell back, exhausted, and let out a soft breath. After that terrible nightmare and trying to heal Sirius, I felt even more tired than before I headed to bed today. I found Sirius' nearby presence soothing. As I stared up at the living room ceiling, I thought that maybe Sirius had the right idea after all… Maybe the living room floor was the place to catch some sleep… I curled up on my side and resting my head on my arm, I shut my eyes.
Sirius' POV
The first ray of light spilled through the living room curtains, causing me to immediately wake up. I sighed a little. I was still so sensitive to light. I wondered if I would ever get used to the sunlight again and be able to sleep normally.
I turned onto my side, trying to block out the light with my back. I pushed myself up a little to rest my head on my arm. I blinked sleepily when I realized that there was a figure lying just a foot or so away from me. Raylynx?
I pushed myself up into a sitting position. As I did, I realized that my hands were no longer burnt. I paused. I turned and looked to see my wand still on the floor next to couch, where I'd chucked it out of frustration after failing to heal my hands last night. The ice pack was a little way away, too. And then there was Raylynx, sleeping all curled up on her side, still loosely holding her wand.
I held up my hands and marveled at how they had been healed. How does she do it? I wondered. How does she capture the same magic that seems to evade me all my life?
I managed to carefully slide Raylynx's wand out of her hand before I scooped her up and returned her to her bed. I put her wand down on the dresser next to her bed. Then, I pulled the covers around her and said softly, "You stay put. Just because I'm uncivilized doesn't meant that you need to be, too."
"Alterrus? Gabriel? Ferdinand?"
"You realize that's a salamander and not a person?" I said crossly.
Raylynx was reading aloud names from a "100 Most Popular Names of All Time" book while standing in front of the large glass tank that now housed the salamander. Remus had set up the tank so that it was sitting on top of an unused bookshelf from Jamie's room. He'd filled it with enough branches and wood chips for the salamander to dart around and sustain itself on.
Raylynx passed the book to Harry. "Will you give it a go?" she asked him. "I don't think he likes my voice. He's passing on everything I read."
"Um, okay, yeah, I can give it a go," Harry said. He got up from the couch, where he had been playing with the Snitch we'd gotten him from most recent trip to Diagon Alley.
He cleared his throat and read, "Reginald, Frances, Allan, Quincy, David-"
"Wait!" Raylynx, who had been watching the salamander carefully, suddenly put up her hand. "Read the last name again?"
"David?"
"No, before that."
"Quincy?"
The salamander's tongue flicked out.
"Quincy?" Raylynx repeated. "You like it?"
The salamander's tongue flicked out again.
"Quincy!" she said happily.
She grabbed Harry by the shoulder and hugged him to her. "Thanks, Harry!"
"I just read out names," he said uncertainly, but there was a smile playing around his lips nonetheless.
I sighed and flopped back on the couch. The Snitch buzzed above me. I snatched it out of the air. Its wings fluttered against my palm, wanting to be set loose. I let it go and it sped off down the hallway. I sat up and watched it go. As I peered down the hallway, I realized that Remus had been in his room all day. Well, it's the full moon tonight, I thought.
That evening, Harry, Raylynx, and I brought down all of the spare blankets and pillows that we could find and piled them up in the bunker room. Harry had been amazed to see that the innocent-looking living room was hiding such a spectacular room and exit route. Remus came down after drinking the Wolfsbane Potion.
"We'll see you soon, Moons," I said, gripping his shoulder tightly for a moment.
Remus nodded weakly. He curled up on the blankets and waited for his horrible transformation.
It quickly became clear that Buckbeak could sense Remus' wolf form. Buckbeak was incredibly uneasy and the fact that he'd been cooped up for such a long time made his anxiety worse. I tried to calm him down, stroking his head and murmuring to soothe him.
"We've got to get you out of here soon," I said, sighing. "Captivity doesn't suit a regal bird like you."
"Would the Ministry know it was him if they saw him now?" Harry wondered. He had come inside the room after me. Buckbeak recognized him and trotted over to him. Harry patted his beak affectionately.
"Maybe," I said. "It hasn't been that long since he was supposed to be executed."
"I don't know how alike hippogriffs usually look," Harry remarked thoughtfully.
"No, me neither," I replied. "That's a question for Hagrid, I suppose."
Buckbeak finally settled down. Harry and I sat down beside him. Thinking about Hagrid made me think of how Harry had once dreamed of a flying motorcycle, how that was his first conception of magic…
"Harry," I said suddenly, "that dream you told us about… about the flying motorcycle-"
"I know, it was stupid," Harry said quickly, looking embarrassed.
A moment of silent passed before I reached out and put my hand on Harry's shoulder. "It's not stupid. Far from it," I said. "That might have been a real memory. You see, I used to have a flying motorcycle. Your dad and I once took you out for a joyride. Your mum was spitting mad. And then, on the night that- that Voldemort murdered your parents… Hagrid and I were both there. We found that you were still alive. Hagrid took my motorcycle to deliver you to Dumbledore." My hand tightened on Harry's shoulder as I finished speaking.
Harry was staring at me with wide eyes. "You mean, I might be remembering that night… and Hagrid taking me to Dumbledore on your motorcycle?"
"I don't know, Harry," I said honestly. "But doesn't it sound like it?"
A small, hesitant smile appeared on Harry's face. "Yeah," he said softly. "Yeah, I think it does."
We sat there together, both of us lost in our terrible memories of that night. Harry thought of how the dementors had revealed to him memories of his Dad yelling at his Mum to go and had sacrificed himself to buy them time, and then his Mum whispering to him that he loved her, and then a flash of green, and Voldemort's high, cruel laugh. I thought of that moment when I saw Lily and James' house utterly destroyed and realizing that Peter had been the traitor and that all of this was my fault, my fault… I'd gently closed Lily's eyes and thanked her for the warmth she'd brought into James' life and then I'd held James' hand and cried, cried as I had never cried in my life, and begged for forgiveness.
And both of us felt the slightest bit lighter, and more hopeful, that in that cold, tragic night, there was one good memory that brought us together. And that memory didn't have the strength to change the needle even one degree, but it was something that wasn't drenched in pain, and that difference was a welcome break from the utter tragedy of the night, the utter tragedy that we were still living.
Raylynx's POV
I stayed in the living room, wanting to stay near Remus even though there was nothing I could practically do. After a while, I had brought Quincy's tank down to the floor. I was drawing the Runic number "6" on a piece of paper and showing it to him.
"It's you," I said, holding it up to his tank. "See?"
Quincy burped and the tiniest cloud of red flame escaped his mouth. I laughed lightly.
I absent-mindedly began to sketch other Runes around the "6". Fire. Warmth. Home. Return. Magic. Wand. Connection. Lost. Lost? Return… How? Threshold. Portal.
I hesitated, and then I sat up. What if…? Could it be possible?
I flipped over the paper and began to scribble madly. If it's going to work, you have to see him for who he is.
Well, I thought wryly, that's the one thing I know, the one thing I can see even when I don't want to.
Slowly, I etched out on the paper in Runic language: "More or less human."
The next morning, Sirius went down and helped Remus out of the underground room. Remus lay down on the couch. Harry, Sirius, and I spent most of the day in the floor in front of the couch, talking quietly amongst ourselves to try to keep Remus' mind off of the pain of the aftermath without being too distracting. When he finally fell asleep, we quietly snuck off. Harry had just received a letter from Ron, wishing him an early happy birthday and telling him Mr. Weasley had, in fact, managed to procure tickets for the Quidditch World Cup. So, Harry returned to his room to write Ron back and send an affirmation for joining the Weasleys to go see the World Cup.
As Sirius turned to go into Jamie's room, I called softly, "Wait. Sirius?"
He turned around. "What is it?" We were both keeping our voices down since Sirius' room was closest to the living room and we were still out in the hallway.
"May I see your wand?" I asked. "I want to try something." Quickly, I added, "I'll understand if you say no, of course."
Sirius paused. A wand was a wizard or witch's most valuable possession. Sirius' brow furrowed as he studied me. I looked at him, trying to keep my face blank. I didn't want to pressure him if he didn't trust me with it.
Finally, he reached back and pulling out his wand, he presented me with it.
I raised my eyebrow at him in surprise. "Really?" I said. I still didn't take it. I was expecting him to at least ask me why I wanted to see his wand. "If you don't want to for any reason, you don't have to."
"Well, normally, I wouldn't say yes, but, if anyone has a right to it, it'd be you," Sirius replied. "Since you've given it to me twice."
A small smile rose on my lips. I finally accepted his wand, holding it carefully in my hand. "Dogwood mixed with Aspen, phoenix feather, eleven and a quarter inches long," I recited softly.
Sirius slid his finger under my chin and gently pushed my face up. I gazed up at him, and I found everything I had ever desired in him. The corner of his mouth pulled up a little as he saw the tenderness in my eyes. We both began to lean forward towards each other, when suddenly Harry's door opened on our right. I hurriedly stepped back and muttered, "Right, well, thanks. I'll have a look at this, then." I tried to smile at Harry as I passed, but I mostly just hid my face from him, staring down at the floor as I quickly passed him.
Remus' POV
I had fallen asleep to the soothing sound of Harry, Sirius, and Raylynx chatting quietly. I was sleeping as peacefully as possible after a horrible night of transformation. In fact, I overslept. I wasn't late for my job, but I was late for – the boomslang skin.
I suddenly leapt off of the couch with an agility I hadn't known I was capable of and I raced down the hallway furiously.
My tromping about startled Sirius, who ran out of his own room and chased after me. Considering that I was usually incapable of movement after my transformation, to Sirius, seeing me dash furiously by his room was like seeing a skeleton get out of its grave and dance the jig. "Moony?" he called, bewildered.
I threw open the door to my own room. When I saw the state of the Polyjuice Potion, I groaned. "No, no, no!" I hurriedly got onto my knees. I lifted the cauldron top off of the cauldron and dumped a fistful of boomslang skin into the cauldron, even though I knew it was clearly too late.
"Moons, what the hell is going on?" Sirius said, appearing at my doorway.
I was too busy berating myself to entertain Sirius' question. You missed the timing of it, Remus Lupin, you idiot, you complete idi – BOOM!
The potion exploded, shooting a forceful stream of disgusting acid into the air. I barely fell backwards in time. The acid burned a hole in the ceiling. "Shit!" Sirius cursed loudly. I gaped at the ceiling in shock. My heart thundered as I recognized that my face had almost been taken off by the acid geyser I'd created somehow.
"Goodness, Moony, you almost blew off all your soft hair," Sirius quipped. I could tell he was trying to use humor to diffuse the situation.
Sirius knelt down next to me and dragged me out of the way so I wouldn't get hit by any of the potion – or sludge, rather- dripping from the ceiling.
"Polyjuice Potion?" he asked, his eyes scanning the ingredients sprawled out across my room. I'd been working on the Potion for the past two weeks and had organized out all of the ingredients so that I would get the order of the ingredients added right no matter what. As it turns out, order was not the problem, timing was.
"I tried," I muttered, "to get you out."
Sirius ruffled my hair, scruffing it up to his heart's content. "I see why you barely scraped a Pass in Potions every year. But don't worry about it, Moony. I appreciate the sentiment. Really."
Finally, my senses were slowly starting to come back. I slid out from under his hand and murmured, "You're the dog, Padfoot, not me. I don't like being scruffed up." With a worn-out and defeated sigh, I flopped back so that I was lying in the doorway.
Raylynx and Harry appeared just then.
Raylynx peered into my room. Her mouth dropped open. "Remus Tiberius Lupin! You blew a hole through the ceiling – with a potion!?"
"They don't call it boomslang skin for nothing, eh?" Sirius said, executing his cringeworthy pun with a self-satisfied grin.
"Is that really why it's called boomslang skin?" Harry asked, staring up at the ceiling.
"No," Raylynx emphasized. "If you go back to Hogwarts thinking that, Snape will keep you in detention for the rest of your school years. Sirius, stop making your godson dumber."
"Maybe I should teach you how to have a sense of humor instead," Sirius retorted, winking at her. Raylynx looked revolted. After considering whether to engage in a fantastic display of violence in front of Harry and deciding against it, she knelt down and gently pulled me up to my feet. She took me to the kitchen, where she handed me a glass of water.
"Whiskey would be nice," I murmured.
She shot me a look.
I drank the water.
"Wait a minute," Harry said, suddenly realizing something. "Professor Lupin, your middle name is Tiberius?"
Raylynx paused and looked at me. "Isn't it? I thought that's what Sirius told me when we were back at Hogwarts."
Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "Nope. You're wrong. It's Ophelia. I checked his birth certificate."
Raylynx, realizing that both "Tiberius" and "Ophelia" were just gibberish names, shook her head and left the kitchen. She returned to my room to clean up the mess and attempt to restore the ceiling. Her poor Muggle house, built by her beloved father, was taking a lot of abuse with all four of us living in it.
Sirius, feeling that his mischief had been successfully deployed, clapped a hand on Harry's shoulder before leaving to help Raylynx.
Harry turned to me. "Professor Lupin, what is your middle name?"
"It's just 'John'," I told him. "Remus John Lupin." With a groan, I slumped over the table tiredly.
Harry gingerly patted my back, trying to do right by his young, thirteen-year-old sensibilities of comfort and support.
Raylynx's POV
I was trying to train Quincy to resist burning people's hands when he was held.
"Okay," I said, and took a deep breath. "Here we go."
Behind me, Sirius murmured, "I don't think this is a good idea."
I held my breath as I put my hand into Quincy's tank. Quincy scampered up my hand.
"Ow," I murmured as I pulled him out. Quincy jumped happily and nuzzled my palm without burning me.
"Oh, good boy," I said, but I'd spoken too soon. He licked me just then, and his tongue left a small burn on my palm. "Ouch!"
Sirius swatted him out of my hand, back into the tank, where he landed with a soft thunk into the flaming wood chips.
"Sirius!" I said, horrified. "You can't do that to him!"
I peered into the tank. Quincy's tongue was out as he lay backwards, trying to catch his breath. But then, he flopped back onto his legs and looked up at me and grinned. I breathed out a sigh of relief.
Then, I gently reached down again. Quincy jumped back into my palm. Sirius shook his head at me. But Quincy managed to prance around in my palm without burning me.
"Look at you!" I said, beaming. "Good for you, Quincy."
Quincy glowed brighter at my praise. I winced a little, but it wasn't hot enough to physically burn me this time.
"Lynx-" Sirius began.
"Don't worry. He can't hurt me," I said. I brought my hand up to my face and peered eye-to-eye with Quincy. "Well, maybe you can, but let's keep that to ourselves, shall we?" I murmured.
Quincy blinked twice at me. Smiling, I blinked back at him, wrinkling my nose, and then I gently put him back down in his tank.
Sirius reached down and took my head and looked at the small streak of shining, puffed-up skin on my palm.
"It doesn't hurt," I assured him.
Sirius sighed. But then he brought my hand up to his mouth. He blew on the wound gently and then kissed it, pressing his lips softly against my palm.
I winced slightly. "All right, it hurts when you do that."
Sirius smiled a little, and he let go of my head.
Suddenly, Quincy let out a happy squeak. I turned to see him leaping up and down happily.
I laughed. "What?" I said. "What is it?" Quincy lifted his front left leg up into the air. I grinned and placed my hand against the tank. He pressed his little webbed foot against it, meeting my hand.
After I left, Sirius looked down at Quincy to see Quincy with his little webbed foot still pressed against the glass. Quincy looked as though he was concentrating hard on something, which, Sirius thought, didn't bode well. A moment later, a small plume of smoke started to rise from the glass where Quincy's foot was.
"Hey," Sirius said, and knocked his fingers against the glass - loud enough to startle Quincy, but not loud enough to cause him any fear. "Whatever you're thinking, don't do it."
Quincy looked up at Sirius and then gave a loud slurp as his tongue came whizzing out playfully.
Sirius paused, a bit taken aback. Then, he murmured, "You're going to be trouble for me, aren't you? I can just feel it."
Just then, Sirius heard me calling to him. He made his way over to where I was, in my room. I was standing with my hands behind my back. He came up to me.
"Close your eyes," I said.
He hesitated. "What are you going to do to me, Lynx?"
"Nothing," I said honestly. "I want to see what you can do to me."
Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Well, then I rather think you should close your eyes-"
"Don't start. I'm not trying to flirt with you," I said, not having it.
"Surprise, surprise," he said dryly. He copied my stern expression and said, "You haven't changed from Hogwarts, love. You never liked me trying to have a bit of fun."
"Fine, then forget it," I scowled, starting to get grumpy.
"All right, all right," Sirius said quickly. "I'm here. I'm listening."
I gave him a skeptical, sidelong glance. He stood there, trying his best to look appropriately obedient, and waiting for me to say something. I struggled not to laugh. Sirius' attempt to look demure was truly ridiculous. But I kept my expression neutral as I whispered, "Close your eyes."
He gave a small sigh but he obliged, closing his eyes as he stood before me.
With one hand, I reached out and took his hand in mine and turned it over. Then, I placed his wand in his hand and closed his fingers around his wand. Guiding him, I had him place the tip of his wand against the burn on my palm.
"Try a Healing Spell for Burns. Ardeat ad sanandum," I told him. I held my breath, hoping desperately that this would work.
Sirius paused, feeling his wand responding to him. He murmured, "Ardeat ad sanandum." I watched as a soft white glow washed over my hand. My burn disappeared.
"You did it," I said, pleasantly surprised.
Sirius opened his eyes.
I looked up at him and showing him my palm, I smiled and said, "You healed me, Sirius."
"How…?"
"Look at your wand," I said.
Sirius held up his wand. His eyes traced over it and he murmured, "Runes… You etched Runes into it."
"If you don't like it-" I began nervously.
"No, I do," he said quickly. "I felt my wand find its way back to me. It was what it was trying to do before, even since I held it again, but it couldn't get to me in the same way as it once did. But this time, we connected."
"Yes. A portal… A way for lost magic to come back," I remarked softly. "Although, if it works, it really means that the magic was never lost," I said, thinking of Sola.
Sirius turned the wand over in his hand. "What does it say?" he asked me.
"It had to be some truth about you," I explained, feeling a bit apprehensive. "I couldn't write praises about you, or it wouldn't have worked."
"I won't be mad," Sirius said, "as long as it's not "irredeemable arse" or something or that sort."
I laughed. "No," I assured him. "That's not what it says."
"Then…?"
I put my finger and traced the edge of the wand and read aloud, "More or less human."
Sirius paused. "That's what it says? More or less human?"
"Yes."
"More or less human," Sirius repeated, letting the words linger in the air. "If you know this about me… If you see who I am…" Sirius said heavily, "doesn't it make you think you should run from me?"
"No," I replied, and the word fell simply from my lips. I tried to peer into his face as I asked, in a slightly anxious voice, "Are you happy with your wand?"
He looked up at me, and he smiled gently. My heart suddenly thumped at his expression. I hadn't seen such a genuinely open and light expression on Sirius' face for a while now. He wrapped his arm around me and drew me closer to him.
"You always find a way..." he murmured softly.
I slowly got up on my tip-toes and leaned forward to meet him – when I heard Harry bellowing, "Professor Kingsley! Come quick! Quincy's burning through the glass!"
"Oh God!" I exclaimed, and I sprinted towards the living room, where Harry and Quincy were, to prevent another fire from taking place in my house. Lord knows I did not want to have to deal with Mike's sass again. Suddenly alone in my room, Sirius sighed and then dutifully trotted after me to make sure the fiery little rascal didn't escape yet again.
Remus' POV
It was Harry's fourteenth birthday. Wanting his day to be spent outside of the house, after much consideration (and squabbling amongst Sirius, Raylynx, and me behind Harry's back), we risked going outside to the neighborhood park. Naturally, Sirius was in his Padfoot form. But I had also convinced Raylynx to go in her Crookshanks form because I knew that if the neighbors were to recognize anyone, it would be her.
We all went down together. When we passed by an elderly couple walking their own dog, their groomed poodle growled at Crookshanks. Padfoot barked back protectively.
"Sorry, sorry," I said hastily, using my leg to shove Padfoot aside.
"You really ought to leash your dog," the man said, eyeing me with distaste.
"No, Snuffles is really well-behaved," Harry piped up besides me. "He just doesn't like strange-looking dogs."
Highly affronted, the lady began sharply, "I beg your pardon-"
"And that's all we've got for you today," I said hastily, and pushed cat, dog, and boy along down the street.
Unfortunately, I nearly pushed Crookshanks straight into an oncoming baby carriage. She hissed and in a flash, she scampered up my arm, around my shoulder, and dropped on top of Padfoot. Padfoot started and instinctively bolted, barking and running off like a mad dog. Harry shouted and chased after them, herding them to the park. "Left, Snuffles! No, the other left!"
"What on earth-?" the lady behind the stroller began. I gently but firmly pushed past her. By the time I'd caught up to all of them, they were at the park. Padfoot had pinned Crookshanks down on the grass. I hastily shoved him back. "You can't pin her down like that. You'll crush her!"
But even as I spoke, Crookshanks yowled and put her paw down on Padfoot's tail as payback. Padfoot barked at her. Crookshanks instinctively jumped to the side, but she also blinked and hissed at him. Padfoot growled, but then, a moment later, he broke into a silly, tongue-lolling grin. Harry broke out into laughter. "I've – I've never seen a dog look so stupid," he said, rolling around on the grass.
Padfoot leapt over to Crookshanks and decided to have a bit of fun with her, chasing her about. She hated it and darted this way and that to avoid him. Padfoot kept chasing her, bounding freely and joyfully. Finally she had had enough and leapt into the tree, where he couldn't follow or track her.
Harry threw the Muggle Frisbee Sirius had found in Jamie's room. Padfoot leapt high into the air and caught it in his mouth. As soon as he landed, he raced over to Harry for him to throw it again. I wandered over to a nearby tree and sat underneath its branches.
A few moments later, I started when Crookshanks suddenly dropped into my lap from the branches above. She must have leapt from her tree to the one above me. She licked her paws and then settled down in my lap, closing her eyes. Feeling quite peaceful sitting under this tree with the warm sunlight filtered down through the light green foliage, with the slightest breeze ruffling my hair and a warm bundle of fur in my lap, I leaned back against the trunk and started to close my eyes.
Some time passed when Padfoot came bounding over to us. He approached me and Crookshanks and bending his head down, he nudged Crookshanks head with his nose. She sleepily opened one eye. Padfoot whined softly. Crookshanks heaved a little sigh, but she got up. As she slid off of me, her tail instinctively shot up. I only just ducked it. As she stepped away from me, she flicked her tail lazily, itching my face. I sneezed just as Harry joined us, sitting beside me underneath the tree.
"Are you allergic to cats, Professor?" Harry asked me.
"Only the mischievous ones," I replied.
Padfoot happily settled down on Harry's other side and then, reaching out with his paw, he scooped Crookshanks up to slide her over next to him. We all stayed there under the tree, nestled up against each other in a warm, bright afternoon.
We eventually made our way back to the house. Padfoot kept nipping at Crookshanks' tail and then scampering away, letting out odd dog yelps that were half-barks and half-laughs. Crookshanks tried to catch him multiple times, but she never stood a chance. Finally, she disappeared for a few blocks, only to leap out gleefully from behind a hedge of magnolias. She came flying out in a burst of petals – Harry gasped - and landed right on top of Sirius' back. He howled and threw her off. I managed to catch Crookshanks flying through the air.
"For Merlin's sake," I said, fed up with them. I frowned down at Crookshanks, who had gone limp in my arms with fright. I was holding her up right under her front paws, but the lower part of her cat form was swaying limply as I walked forward with her.
"You know," I told her sternly, "at first I was on your side because I thought he was giving you a hard time, teasing you and all that- but now I think you're both on the same side, and out to get me."
In front of us, Padfoot went chasing after butterflies, much to Harry's amusement. I sighed and continued carrying Crookshanks all the way back home, unwilling to let her escape in case she decided her next smart move would be to hide in a neighbor's mailbox. I didn't want to have to explain to her poor neighbor why all of his unopened mail happened to be shredded that day.
Back at home, we found three cakes and letters waiting – from Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid. Of course, Raylynx, Padfoot, and I had gone down to the market here yesterday to buy Harry our own cake. We picked one out together and Raylynx took it to the registrar. Padfoot trotted besides her, holding a small pack of candles in his mouth. I followed behind them, holding four steaks, a bottle of champagne, and a stack of extra napkins. As Raylynx put down the cake and the candles, I reached around her and put down the champagne, napkins, and steaks on the counter as well.
"Hello, Remus."
I looked up to see Maggie. "How are you, Maggie?"
Realizing we knew each other, Padfoot immediately perked up. He gently grasped the hem of Raylynx's light jacket and pulled her away. "What? What?" Raylynx said. "Where are you taking me?" Padfoot led her to the doors, where they waited.
"Are you trying to make Remus pay for everything?" Raylynx berated him.
Padfoot let out a low, "woof," feeling misunderstood.
"Is it your birthday?" Maggie asked me, looking down at the cake.
"No," I said quickly. "It's not for me."
"Oh. Then, is it your girlfriend's birthday?" she asked curiously.
"Hm?"
"Your girlfriend…" Maggie nodded over at Raylynx. "Is it her birthday?"
"Oh, no, it's not her birthday," I replied, handing her the money. I paused, caught between wanting to clarify that Raylynx was not my girlfriend, and feeling that it was completely unnecessary to get into the subject at all. After all, Maggie doesn't care who or who is not my girlfriend. Not that I have one...
As if to confirm my thoughts, Maggie said quickly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to be nosy. I don't get a lot of customers in here, so I try to make conversation when I do."
I just nodded meekly, unsure of what to say. Maggie blushed slightly as she handed me back the change.
Trying to cover up our slight embarrassment, Maggie smiled a little and said, ""So, then it must be your dog's birthday."
Feeling that it would be a lot less trouble to say yes than to have Maggie from go through my entire family-and-friend tree, I just nodded.
"And these are for the dog, too?" Maggie said, laughing a little as she held up the steaks. "Wow," she said, shaking her head a little. "You treat him royally, don't you?"
Embarrassed by the misunderstanding, I blushed a little as I took the bags with the steaks and napkins and champagne and hung them over my arm.
"Here," Maggie said, and lifted up the last bag containing the cake, gripping the bottom cardboard piece of the cake to make sure it didn't fall in the bag.
"Thanks," I said, and awkwardly tried to take it from her. My hands accidentally slid over hers as I took the cake from her. She hurriedly pulled her hands out from under mine.
I started to turn away when she said, "C-Can I wish your dog a happy birthday?"
I paused and looking back, I shrugged and said, "Sure. Why not?"
Maggie came around the counter and went over to Padfoot. She leaned down and aggressively gave him a good rub all over his head as she said brightly, "Happy Birthday, doggo!"
Raylynx's mouth fell open. Padfoot, too, seemed a bit dazed.
"Er – thank you," I said, and then motioned to Raylynx and Padfoot for us to go.
All this to say that we'd bought Harry a birthday cake, which we meant to bring out after dinner.
We had dinner together after coming back from the park. I made Harry steak. Watching him chomp away at it reminded me of how much growing teenage boys could eat. I should have given him mine, too, I thought.
Afterwards, Raylynx went to go fetch the candles. I made to take out the cake when Sirius wandered over to me. In a low voice (because Harry was still sitting at the table), Sirius murmured, "You know that girl working the counter at the market?"
"Maggie?" I said.
"Yeah, Maggie," Sirius said. "I didn't know you two were on a first name basis."
"You would be too, if you actually fetched things from the market for yourself."
"Can't." Sirius said airily, "I'm a fugitive, remember?"
"What a convenient excuse," I said dryly.
"How old is she?" Sirius asked.
"I don't know. Probably a little younger than us, I would guess." I frowned, confused. "Why? What about her?"
"She's got a thing for you," Sirius stated knowingly.
"What?" I said, taken aback. Before Sirius could answer, I muttered quickly, "Don't be stupid, Padfoot. She's just being nice and doing her job."
"No one said she wasn't," Sirius said readily. "But that's not all that was going on and you know it."
"You're just saying that because she petted you like you were an actual dog for once," I responded.
"Yeah, but she did that hoping you would notice how good she was being to your dog," Sirius pointed out. "Clearly, you didn't. So I'm going out on a limb here to tell you."
Raylynx came back with the candles. I was thankful she did, because the blood rushing to my face needed the interruption. Sirius reached around me and pulled out the chilled champagne. Shaking my head a little, I carefully pulled out the cake and closed the refrigerator.
Raylynx returned with the candles in one hand and Quincy in the other. She stuck the candle in Harry's cake and then had Quincy lick each other to light them. Quincy squirmed happily in her hand as he stuck his tongue out to lick each other. He beamed with pride when Raylynx praised him. Then, she put Quincy on her shoulder. "Don't go burning my hair, please," she told Quincy. Quincy blinked twice in affirmation, or so Raylynx and I thought. Sirius and Harry were adamant that a salamander blinking twice could mean anything, or even nothing at all. It could be coincidence, for all we knew. But Raylynx and I were convinced it meant that Quincy understood and had agreed to something. "Salamanders can form affirmative intent, right?" I'd asked, to which Sirius had replied, "Moony, you ask a lot of questions that aren't meant to be asked, let alone answered."
Raylynx flicked her wand in the air. The lights went out, leaving just the candles (and Quincy) burning in the semi-darkness.
Oh Merlin, the birthday song, I thought, cringing. It had been a long time since I'd had to engage in kid-friendly antics. Not that Harry was really a kid anymore, seeing how quickly the boy was growing up. Sirius had spent the last twelve years in Azkaban, and Raylynx was perfectly awkward in her attempts to rally us together (though it was very amusing to watch her try to pull through it for Harry's sake). Thus, it was three very out-of-practice, hoarse, and somewhat shy voices that sang for Harry that day. Nevertheless, sing we did: "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday, dear Harry! Happy Birthday to you!" Blushing madly, Harry leaned forward and blew out the candles as we clapped and cheered.
The lights came back on, courtesy of Raylynx. Sirius popped the champagne, and I served the cake. Raylynx let Quincy have a taste of frosting before returning him to his tank. As she came back in, she said to Sirius, "You lied. You're not a better singer than Padfoot."
"I was trying to match you and Moony," Sirius retorted.
"That doesn't work as an excuse," Raylynx replied. "Moony's a great singer. He sings jazz all the time."
I saw Harry's messy head of hair swivel over in my direction. I groaned internally. Trying to ignore Raylynx and Sirius, I held out my hand and said, "Pass along a fork, please, Harry."
Harry complied, handing me a fork, but he also said, with interest, "You sing jazz, Professor?"
"Sing and dance," Raylynx interrupted. "He's got a mean shimmy. He practices at night. Boogies down. He even got a noise violation in his old apartment for it."
"You got a noise violation?" Harry said, his eyes starting to brighten with barely restrained glee.
I just shook my head dismissively and helped myself to a slice of chocolate cake.
Harry looked over at the table to see four different cakes. "There's so much cake…" Harry said.
Raylynx smiled. "We'll send you to the Weasleys tomorrow nice and rotund," she remarked. "It'll make Molly happy."
After we ate cake, Raylynx got up to put her plate in the sink. Sirius caught her wrist and handed her his dish too. She rolled her eyes at him, but she obliged and put his plate in the sink as well. Then, still holding her wrist, Sirius stood up from his chair and playfully lifted his arm.
Raylynx paused.
He nodded. "Yes," he said. "You've got the idea. Just do it…"
She very hesitantly twirled.
"And there she goes," Sirius said. "She figured out the puzzle."
Just then, Raylynx saw Harry laughing behind Sirius. She immediately dropped his hand and smacked Sirius in the stomach.
"Ow, Merlin!"
"Don't make fun of me like that," she said, irritated.
"I wasn't!" he said hotly. "I was encouraging you."
Tiredly, I said to Harry, "Don't ever emulate them, Harry. Please."
Harry shot me a grin and said, "I think you find them more difficult to manage than grindylows and hinkypunks, Professor Lupin."
"Truer words have never been spoken," I said, and helped myself to an extra slice of chocolate cake for the much-needed energy of wrangling the near-demonic forces that were Sirius Black and Raylynx Kingsley.
Afterwards, we broke out the games again. Sirius and I teamed up to play chess against Harry. Raylynx, who was lying on the couch and reading the manual said absent-mindedly, "You know, there's a 'practice mode' that keeps the players silent, in case the game's a bit too abusive for you and your soft heart, Remus."
I looked back over my shoulder at her. When she turned onto her side and smiled at me, I couldn't help but smile back. She watched us play contentedly. Although I didn't know it because my back was turned to her, she was secretly helping Harry, giving certain hand motions to agree or disagree with him. Sirius caught her pointing her fingers in a "L" shape, indicating that Harry should used his knight.
"Excuse me," Sirius said sarcastically. "Are you helping your godson to cheat?"
"No," she replied quickly. She put the "L" to her head and said, "I was just indicating what you're about to become."
Harry laughed and then he expertly moved his knight, forcing Sirius and me into a "check" position.
"What is the point of having two masters, if neither of them has any brain cells?" the remaining black rook grumbled loudly.
"Oh, shut it," I snapped. "You're still alive, aren't you?"
Two moves later, the rook was neatly decapitated by Harry's queen.
Six moves later, and –
"You both lost. Against your fourteen year old godson," Raylynx said, in mock disappointment.
Sirius rolled his eyes and said, "Sure, a fourteen year old godson with the help of - "
"Ron. Ron teaches me chess," Harry interjected quickly, trying to cover up for Raylynx. He was a noble soul, even if he was terrible at lying.
" -a thirty-three year old woman," Sirius finished.
There was a pause.
"Goodness, is Ronald Weasley a thirty-three year old woman?" Raylynx wondered aloud. "I must have a closer look when we drop you off tomorrow, Harry."
Harry snorted. Merlin, he looked so like Lily when he did that.
"Have you got any more pictures of Lily and James?" I asked Raylynx. "I remember you used to take a lot of pictures."
"Oh, now that you mention it," Raylynx said, sitting up. "One moment." She left the living room for a few minutes. When she came back, she was holding the champagne bottle and glasses and six boxes of photographs were levitating behind her, following her.
"Shall we look through some of these?" she said happily, sitting down besides Harry.
"Merlin, when did you have time to take all of these?" Sirius asked, pulling one box towards him and pulling out stacks of photographs.
"Oh, you know, here and there," Raylynx said, rifling through another box.
After a moment, she showed Harry a photograph, leaning over towards him and saying, "Look, that's your mum and dad dancing at your wedding. I think I sent Hagrid one of the more formal pictures for your first-year yearbook, but I've got a few more in here, like this one."
"Wow," Harry said, looking at the picture of his parents dancing slowly with their foreheads touching. Both of them were clearly smiling and in total bliss. "I like how it's not as... as staged."
"Mmm, yes, people don't usually notice where I am, so I got some great shots of people acting natural – which is when they're loveliest, I think," Raylynx explained.
I looked up from my own box of photographs to see Sirius gazing over at Raylynx as she looked over more photographs with Harry. I cleared my throat lightly and returned my gaze to the photograph in front of me. Raylynx and Sirius rarely showed outright affection in front of me and Harry, but I could feel an intensity between them nonetheless. I felt happy for them, but I also couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at intruding upon their intimacy.
"Who's in this photograph?" Harry asked, holding up another picture.
Raylynx looked over at it. Her eyes softened. "That's an old friend of ours. Marlene McKinnon." Her eyes slowly flickered up to Sirius', full of a muted pain. Sirius met her eyes with a steady, loving gaze. She gave him a shaky smile before returning to her box of photographs.
"Oh look," she said a moment later. "This is your father as Quidditch Captain! I think Lily might have taken this one, actually… Merlin, I forgot how ridiculous the old Quidditch uniforms could look."
After a few more minutes of shuffling, Harry held up another photo and said, "When was this?"
The three of us peered at it. It was a picture of the four of us Marauders, standing together in front of the Great Lake at Hogwarts.
Harry looked down at the photograph, then up at Sirius, and then back down.
"Yeah, your old man wasn't always so scraggly," Sirius said wryly. "Used to be quite the ladies' man, in fact."
"Still not something to be proud of," I murmured.
"When was this?" Raylynx mused. "I remember taking it. I particularly recall how much fussing about there was as you all got together for the picture. James must have touched his hair a hundred times as you all lined up. I thought he'd be bald by the time I pressed the shutter button. But I can't think of the year, for some reason…"
I looked closer. "Sixth year?" I guessed. I was going off of Peter's haircut. It had been the first year he'd picked his own haircut, instead of the one his mother always made him get.
"Let me see that," Sirius said, taking the photo from Harry to examine it.
"Like Narcissus looking at his own reflection," I muttered.
Raylynx giggled, and then hiccupped. I looked over to see that she had been quietly emptying the champagne bottle by herself. Besides her, there was a stack of photographs that she'd quietly been flipping through by herself, and all of them showed her parents and her siblings through the years.
"Is this you, Professor Kingsley?" Harry asked, holding up a tiny grey square that must have been cut from a newspaper.
"I don't think so. I took most of these, so – Oh. Oh, yes, I suppose that is me." Raylynx took the small square from Harry. "I never sent this to anyone…"
Then, she murmured, "I guess my parents cut it out and kept it."
"You looked really intense…" Harry observed. "Why were you in the newspaper?"
Raylynx hesitated and then she looked up at Harry and said, "You'll see."
"See what, Professor?"
"You'll see this year…"
Her words didn't make any sense. I leaned over and slowly slid the champagne bottle out of her reach.
A couple of hours later, photographs were stacked high all around us. "Take whichever ones you want, Harry," Raylynx told him. Harry collected a few and showed them to Raylynx before he decided he'd better go and pack his things for the Burrow tomorrow.
"Good idea. Don't want to run out of underwear," Sirius said absent-mindedly, still flipping through photographs. He paused as he actually thought about what he said and added, "Although I expect there's more than enough spare underwear at the Burrow."
"Still, best to have your own," he murmured, as he looked down at the photograph of the four of us Marauders on the Hogwarts ground again.
Finally, a few minutes later, he said, "I should go check on Buckbeak." He got up and left the living room, heading to the master bedroom where Buckbeak was.
Raylynx hiccupped softly. I looked over at her. She was lying on the floor, holding up a photograph of everyone from Alice and Frank's wedding.
"Remus…" Raylynx said softly.
I looked up at her. "Hm?"
"I thought about what you said to me… about how Peter could have turned." She spoke so softly that I could barely hear her. When she mentioned Peter, I realized that she was keeping her voice down to try to keep Sirius from overhearing.
I slid closer to her.
"It made me think more generally about how Voldemort's supporters are a strange mix of people. On the one hand, there are these old pureblood aristocrats who want to keep the power structure in place. On the other hand, there are a lot of people who don't benefit from a pureblood hierarchy at all. They don't have pureblood lines, yet they still support the Dark Lord. I've thought about why that is... I think it has to do with a chance for belonging. I think that the people who feel like they don't have anything to gain even if our side won turned because they thought that by pledging their loyalty to Voldemort, he would give them… a chance at glory." Her voice twisted in an odd way as she said the last few words.
She swallowed hard before she said, "I could never, ever say this to Sirius, but there is a part of me that understands Peter. It's not always easy to go through life, always trying to fit in and to be better, and never getting any credit. When I think about Peter, even I barely noticed him. I mean, we spoke, and we waved in the hallways, and things like that, but…"
Her voice trailed off for a moment before she said, ""I'm not saying that that's a reason to join Voldemort. Of course not. We must always do what we believe is the right thing to do no matter what that looks like, or even if no one cares. And benefitting off of others' dehumanization is wrong on all accounts. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that…" She stared at Alice's and Frank's happy, smiling faces in the picture as she continued speaking. "Even though I can't forgive Peter or Snape... Even though I hate them - and I do hate them - and I would do anything to see them atone for all the harm they caused, what if I… what if some part of me understands them?"
She paused. Then, she asked, "Does that make me a bad person? A weak person?"
"I think it does," she whispered fearfully.
I didn't know what to say in response. I both agreed and disagreed with her, just as she agreed and disagreed with herself. I could tell she hated herself for thinking this way, and yet, she couldn't deny that some part of her truly empathized with these people who had betrayed us - not in their actions, but in their own mental prison of perceived helplessness. I understood Raylynx because I'd seen what she was talking about myself. I'd seen it up close during my undercover mission. I witnessed an entire community of werewolves decide to turn their backs on Dumbledore and accept Voldemort because the normal way of things offered them no improvement in their lives, while Voldemort held out a chance at moving up the social ladder, even if at the cost of other innocents - namely, Muggle-borns. To play on the desires of outcasts, to call upon those who had already fallen between the cracks of society, was to call upon a tempting, treacherous snake. But not only did Voldemort offer only empty words by pretending to care about the werewolves' well-being when he only cared whether they would aid him or not, Raylynx was also right in that no amount of temptation should obscure what was right and wrong. The fundamental truth was that no matter how harshly society spit on me and forced me down to the point that I felt I owed nothing to society, it was still wrong to dehumanize others merely for my benefit.
This wasn't just a philosophical war, either. This was a very real, practical, and living war. I saw flashes of my horrific time working as an undercover agent with the werewolves who had decided to turn to Voldemort in my mind. The bargains were always centered around going after Muggle-borns. The leader, Fenrir, told me that if I completed this task, I'd be accepted into the werewolf community. To my utter horror, the mission was to attack a six-year-old Muggle-born witch. She was just a little girl who happened to be Muggle-born. I couldn't do it. Of course I couldn't do it. It burned my soul even to consider it. But Dumbledore, the one man who had ever given me a chance at a better life, had asked me to gain the werewolves' trust. I spent a sleepless night trying to figure out how to get out of the mission while still courting an alliance. But Fenrir wouldn't have it. He didn't want to listen. He told me it was attack or be attacked. I chose to be attacked. And then a horrific series of events unfurled: Fenrir, attacking me, his sharpened human teeth ripping into my neck and the side of my face - the little girl waking up and screaming that monsters had come for her - and the hellish aftermath of being locked in the sewers for days on end for my "traitorous" behavior... When Fenrir finally came to free me, he had grinned and told me the terrible truth that my father and mother had always kept secret from me - that he, Fenrir, had been the one to bite me and turn me out of vengeance and his own cruel sense of satisfaction... And my last defense, that the werewolf who had turned me had never meant to hurt me and lived in remorse, the idea of which was tied to my own self-belief that I could be better than him and right his wrongs by living my life in a principled way, collapsed... And I remembered thinking, even then, why shouldn't we turn to Voldemort? If there is no hope for our souls... Why not at least get ourselves out of living in poverty, filth, and squalor...? But at the same time I asked the question, I had my answer. I could never bite the little girl. And it followed that I could never follow Voldemort, no matter what happened to me afterwards. After that day, I no longer feared death. But I accepted suffering, and life became much dimmer after that.
But no, I caught myself, these are dark thoughts. Thoughts I told myself I'd put away for good.
I sighed quietly. "Maybe we should head to sleep, Raylynx. Too much thinking isn't any good for the soul."
"The soul…" she repeated softly.
I gazed at her, concerned.
Feeling my worried gaze on her, Raylynx pushed herself up and forced a smile on her face. "Sorry, Remus. You're right. Thinking this way won't do me any good. I'm sorry I said anything. Please forget what I said." Then, she started putting the photographs back in their boxes.
Sirius came out from Buckbeak's room. "Did you look through them all already?" he asked, sitting down next to her.
"No, barely a fourth of them," Raylynx replied. "But I'm cleaning up your sleeping space for you."
Sirius reached out and cupped her face in his hand. "You stay in your own sleeping space tonight, all right? Don't come out here for my sake."
When he leaned forward to kiss her on the nose, she suddenly hiccupped.
Sirius paused. His eyes caught the now completely empty bottle of champagne besides her.
I frowned, too. When she'd take that back? I wondered. I must have missed it. Raylynx could be sneaky when she wanted.
Sirius groaned. "Drunk on champagne again?"
"Raylynx," he said, exasperated, "this shouldn't be possible. It has very low alcohol content."
She smiled sheepishly. Then, she pointed at me and Sirius and said, "No, I don't want to hear it. You two don't get to complain. Not after I had to drag you both to bed after that whiskey you said wouldn't hurt anyone."
"Fine. I'll take you to bed and we call it even," Sirius said. He stood up, and gently pulled her up. "Come on. Let's go."
"Night, Remus," Raylynx murmured.
"Good night, Raylynx."
I watched them go down the hallway. Quietly, I finished packing away the photographs. I could just use my wand, but it felt disrespectful to do so. I handled the photographs with care. The last photograph was the thin gray square that Harry had pulled out. I nearly missed it. It was a flattened, tattered, and now slightly blurred photograph, but there she was – Raylynx, as TriWizard Champion. Her eyes were dead, her face gaunt, and her hair limp. She looked lifeless, as though she, and not Julian, had been the one who had died. I gently placed the photograph into the box and then closed the box.
Raylynx's POV
Sirius waited for me as I brushed my teeth and washed my face. He was sitting with his back against my bed, but he stood up when I came out.
My room was clean now, with the stacks of paper lined up neatly in my closet. I hardly had any clothes, except for the basics, a couple of Jamie's oversized sweaters, and that mid-length strappy silk dress I'd worn to Jasper's celebratory banquet.
I came out of the bathroom and feeling very sleepy and a bit buzzed and all warm from the champagne, I half-walked into and half-fell into Sirius' waiting arms. Hugging me tightly, he lifted me a little and turning us around, lowered me down onto my bed.
He frowned a little when he noticed that my eyes were slightly red, as though I'd cried.
"Did something happen today?" he asked me.
"It was Harry's birthday," I replied.
"Other than that."
"I pounced at you from behind a magnolia bush?"
Sirius chuckled. "Other than that."
"Other than that? Um... No, I can't think of anything else," I said and shook my head.
"Sleep," he murmured. "You look tired."
I settled back against my pillow and pulled my blanket over myself. Then, I turned over onto my side to look at Sirius. He knelt down by my bed and gently touched my face.
Not wanting to pressure him, but greedily wanting more than just the soft, tender warmth of his hand, I asked softly, "Are you sure you won't join me?"
Sirius stayed silent for a moment. Then, he carefully climbed over me and slipped under the covers behind me before pulling me back against him so that my back was resting against his chest. He slid his arms around me. I reached up and grasped his arms with both my hands.
"Seeing those photographs, it's a bit of a trip, isn't it?" he asked, guessing what had gotten me into this state of mind.
"I can't help thinking..." I murmured. My voice trailed off for a moment. I felt Sirius' shoulders heave slightly as he laughed lightly.
"That about sums you up, Lynx. You can never help thinking, but you never tell me what you're thinking either." He kissed the top of my head. "What goes on in this head of yours, I can't fathom most days."
"Well," I said quietly, "I was thinking I got really lucky with things like being chosen for Gryffindor, being selected as a wandmaker's assistant, or becoming a Champion. At the time, I hated being differentiated and made to stand out. But looking back, I think it was good for me, even if it felt horrible back then."
There was a pause. Then, Sirius said, "Well, I don't know what made you say that all of a sudden. But if that's the way you feel, I'm glad. I do remember thinking that it was strange how much you shied away from being Champion. I expected you to gloat about it. But you always seemed to dislike it."
"I did dislike it. It all just felt like a big mistake. The Sorting Hat putting me in Gryffindor, the Goblet of Fire spitting out my name - it felt so wrong. I should have enjoyed it more, but I wasn't confident enough," I admitted. "Although, I was amused when you took it upon yourself to scream at me from the bleachers."
"You wouldn't get on the flipping broomstick, that's why," Sirius retorted, remembering what had happened.
"I'm not saying you weren't justified. It's just that you looked like a raving lunatic," I remarked. "You were a 'football dad'."
"What does that mean?" Sirius asked, indignation already creeping up in his voice as my knowing and light-hearted tone alerted him to the fact that I was roasting him.
"Football's a Muggle sport. Jamie used to play before we found out about the magical world. Basically, a football parent is when a parent who's watching on the sidelines gets overinvested and starts yelling at their kids to do better. My dad used to laugh at them. He was always sitting in the back with a beer in his hand and quietly poking fun at worked-up parents or players who took themselves too seriously."
"You're saying your dad would have made fun of me?"
"Oh, absolutely," I said, nodding a little. My chin hit up gently against his arms wrapped around my shoulders. "He would have found you hilarious."
Sirius started to reply, but I said in a softer voice, "He would have loved you. Even Sola agrees, my dad would have absolutely loved you."
Sirius fell silent. His arms held me a little tighter against him. Sighing contently, I slowly fell asleep, as warm and safe as I could ever feel.
