Raylynx's POV

When I woke up the next morning, Sirius was gone. I felt a pang of guilt. He must have waited until I was asleep before slipping out.

I got out of bed and dressed for the day. Remus and Harry were already up. Harry was telling Remus about different Quidditch tactics, and Remus was listening patiently, as though he hadn't heard them a million times before from Harry's father.

"Good morning. Are you all packed and ready to go?" I asked Harry.

Harry nodded. "Do you want breakfast, Professor?"

I shook my head. "I'll have some when I get back. Thanks, Harry."

As Harry finished eating, I went out to find Sirius sleeping on the living room floor again. I knelt down besides him and gently pushed his hair back from his face. He blinked blearily and looked up at me. "Lynx?" he said, his voice gruff and thick with sleep.

I nodded. "Sorry to wake you. I'm taking Harry to the Weasleys. I just thought you might want to say good-bye."

Harry had walked over to us as I spoke. Sirius' arm shot out and he got Harry in a head-lock so that Harry was basically bowing to the floor. Sirius ruffled Harry's hair before letting Harry go.

"Put a bet on Ireland for me," Sirius said sleepily.

Harry tried to pat down his hair as he grinned and said sheepishly, "All right, Snuffles."

"Have a good time, kid," Sirius mumbled. "Be safe."


It was wonderful to see the Weasleys again. Arthur was as cheerful as ever, and Molly forced me to sit down and have breakfast with everyone. I sat next to Bill, and we fell into an easy conversation about Ancient Runes and life after Hogwarts. He seemed to have become an expert in Egyptian hieroglyphs and how they did or didn't match onto the Runic language, which I found fascinating. "You should go see the Rosetta Stone if you can, Professor," Bill was telling me. "We would never have been able to understand Egyptian hieroglyphs without it."

Meanwhile, Fred and George were teasing Percy about the new suit he'd bought with the "extra-starched collar".

"If it gets any more starched, it'll be picking your nose for you," Fred was saying.

"You better make sure your trousers zipper is zipped up before you put on the shirt, Perce. You won't be able to look down to correct it if you messed up. And I doubt they'll let you be Minister of Magic if you walk around with your thing hanging out all the time," George added.

Ron was chomping away happily at a plate of perfectly cooked waffles and Ginny was trying to find a way to sneak one away from him without losing a hand.

Hermione, who, upon seeing me, had enthusiastically shown me Oddfoot, waving him before me like a giant fan, had thanked me for such a beautiful cat, and was now talking to Harry about how she wished the book lists would come already so that she could begin reading for classes. Charlie was staring at Hermione incredulously, as he could not comprehend why anyone would read textbooks voluntarily.

"Charlie," I remarked, "I have to say, I don't know how you deal with dragons. I've recently took in a fire salamander as a pet, and it's nearly cost me my kitchen and living room."

Charlie laughed. "Well, I'm not keeping dragons as a pet."

"But salamanders are easy to handle," he told me. "If they start getting too hot, you tickle their belly and they calm right now."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied gratefully.

After petting Oddfoot on the head, thanking Molly, and hugging Harry one last time, I finally made my way out of the Burrow and back home.


Back at home, Sirius and Remus were practicing Camouflage Charms on Buckbeak.

"How are Arthur and Molly?" Remus asked me.

"They're doing wonderfully," I replied.

I watched Sirius try another Camouflage Charm. I could immediately tell that his magic was much more in tune with his intentions now. I leaned against the wall and watched them, when my eyes fell on a crisp sheet of paper on the dresser. It looked like it had recently unfolded.

"Is this someone's letter?" I asked, trying not to read it in case it was some private correspondence.

"Oh, Moony's got another job," Sirius explained.

"Oh, congratulations!" I said.

"Well, it's not really a job, to be honest," Remus said. "But it's something. A magazine runs articles on wild beasts. They said that as long as I wrote under a pseudonym, they'd pay me a Sickle an article. It's not much. But it's far, far better than nothing."

Remus shot me a look over his shoulder and said, "But I'm afraid I won't be out of your house quite yet, Raylynx."

"Oh, Remus," I said, "you know if I had it my way, you'd never leave. But I do hope that you find a satisfactory and stable job soon, so you can stop stressing over applications all the time."

Sirius cast a particularly strong Camouflage Charm. We watched as a hippogriff-shaped piece of detached air seemed to trot across the room. It unnerved me, to be honest. I pulled out my own wand and turned Buckbeak back into a visible hippogriff.

The three of us left the room together.

"It's already too quiet without the kid," Sirius sighed.

Remus nodded.

"D'you think… D'you think he had fun with us?" I asked hopefully.

"Doubt it," Sirius answered. "We're just a bunch of lazy old farts to him, I suppose."

"And we never did really challenge him at any of the games," Remus said thoughtfully.

"We'll have to practice," I said, determined. "We'll have to show him that we're still worth our salt when he's back. We're not old and dried up just yet."

Remus shot me an amused look.


Sirius' POV

Perhaps it was because of the emptiness I felt in the house after Harry left, but when I finally fell asleep that night, the old nightmares from Azkaban came flooding back. I was trapped behind my cell, and just outside, Raylynx was drowning in a clear cage of water. She couldn't escape, and I couldn't reach her through the bars, no matter how much I strained to reach her. Her eyes were wide open, and she stared at me, desperate for air. Then, slowly, the light left her eyes. She stopped struggling… and her body floated. I finally managed to push open the bars of my prison cell. I raced forward, but as soon as my palms slammed up against the glass, the entire container froze, and shattered. Raylynx too, broke into a cascade of glass that fell down all around me, slashing my skin. And there was blood everywhere, but she was gone… She was gone… Dead.

I gasped for breath as I sat up, clutching at my heart. My heartbeat was racing.

No, I protested in my mind, pushing back against my own fear. She's alive. She's safe. She has to be!

I pushed myself to my feet and trying hard to act as calmly as I could, I made my way to her room. Raylynx was lying on her bed. She's sleeping, the rational side of my brain recognized. But the emotional side of me demanded more proof. With her blanket up to her neck, I couldn't see her chest rising or falling.

I stumbled forward and collapsing on top of her, I grasped her to me tightly, my hands gripping at her even as they moved up her body and finally, I held her by the waist as I leaned down and pressed my ear against her chest. Finally, when I heard her heartbeat, I was able to breathe again.

Frowning, Raylynx woke up. "Sirius?" she mumbled. "Is that you?"

I tried to calm myself. I loosened my grip on her, though I still pressed my hands against her. I raised my head and murmured, "Sorry for waking you."

Her hands felt my shoulders blindly in the darkness for a moment before tracing my arms down to my hands. "You're shaking," she realized. Before I could say anything, she said knowingly, "Bad dream?"

I paused. Then, I admitted softly, "Yes."

"It's foolish, I know." I sighed. "I don't know why I let it get me so worked up. I'm sorry for waking you." I started to pull away from her, but she wrapped her arms around me, gently holding me down against her so that I was lying on top of her with my head at her chest.

"It's not foolish," she murmured softly, her hands gently stroking my hair. "I'll be with you, Sirius, for however long you need…" Her hands slipped away from my hair as she hugged me around my shoulders.

It occurred to me then that I had never been held. All my life, I had always had to be the possessive one. People thought I was abrasive, that I was cruel, but the reality was that I was always the one holding onto others. Every person I'd ever been with expected me to hold onto them. Even Raylynx, when I was first with her, would be so shy and always wait for me to pull her closer.

But now, feeling her wrap her arms around me and hold me so lovingly against her, it was a strange sensation. I'd never felt weaker or stronger at the same time. Her body, her warmth, her kindness – it all formed something that I could feel anchored to. It was soft enough to be comfortable, but steady enough to feel more real than a cloud…

I closed my eyes and slowly, slowly, slowly… I started to relax. My hands slipped from her waist and curled up on either side of her on the bed. My breathing slowed to match hers. And hearing her soft heartbeat, I finally fell into a dreamless, and wonderfully light, sleep.


Raylynx's POV

As consciousness pulled me back to reality the next morning, I slowly came to realize that Sirius was lying on top of me and that I'd wrapped my arms around him.

I blinked a few times. Feeling me stir a little, Sirius tilted his head up to look at me.

"You're still here," I mumbled, surprised.

"Yes," he said softly.

"Oh no," I said nervously. "Did I keep you trapped here? Did I keep you up all night?"

"No," he said quickly, lifting his head to look at me. "I slept."

"Oh," I breathed out in relief. "Oh, good."

Sirius propped himself up on his elbows so that his face was level with mine. "Were you uncomfortable?" he asked me.

"No," I said honestly. "It felt nice. You're so warm."

"You were sleeping pretty soundly," Sirius remarked, and the corner of his mouth pulled up.

When we fell silent, we could both hear the sound of pots and pans in the kitchen. "Remus must be making breakfast," I realized, frowning a little. "He's always cooking. I should go and help."

Sirius seemed to consider whether or not he wanted to keep me with him for a little longer, but figuring he had inconvenienced me enough last night, he rolled over to his side onto the bed, letting me get up.

I walked over to my closet to pull on one of Jamie's sweaters. As I did, I heard Sirius remark, "What's that thing hanging in your closet?"

I poked my head through the hole in the sweater and asked, "What thing?"

"Hanging in your closet," he said again.

I pulled my arms through and then looked back at my closet. "Oh, this?" I said, indicating the newest sweater Jamie had brought over for me. "Jamie brought it to me last time he came over. Amy said it would blind the baby-"

"No, not that," Sirius said. "I know about your sweaters. I remember them. They used to drive me crazy. We would have to camouflage and fight Death Eaters and you'd show up in some striped orange and green sweater."

He shook his head and clarified, "The thing next to it. The silk thing. Is it a dress?"

I pushed aside the sweaters and pulled out the silk dress he was talking about.

"Oh, yeah, I guess it is," I said, and put it back.

"I've never seen you wear that," Sirius commented.

"Well, that would be because I don't wear it," I agreed. "I've only worn it once."

"Once being…?"

"For a dinner."

"A dinner for…?"

"For Jasper," I replied, knowing that this was what he'd been getting at. "He and his uncle had discovered a new magical creature, so the Ministry saw fit to throw him a banquet."

"You wore that for him?"

I scoffed and leaning onto the bed, I looked at him and said teasingly, "You don't get to be jealous, Mister "Ladies' Man." I rolled my eyes at him playfully, trying to show that he shouldn't take this seriously before getting up again.

But as I pulled my hair back in a ponytail, Sirius remarked, "So, you did go out with him."

"Jasper? Yes. We were seeing each other for a little while."

"No, I mean 'out' as in – Did he take you out on dates?"

I thought about it. "Maybe once or twice, but we were both very busy. He was out on the field a lot, and I was a Professor – well, am a Professor."

"Once or twice?" Sirius repeated.

"Yep," I said nonchalantly. I reached over and grasping his arm, I pulled him up and out of bed. "Come on, let's go help Remus with breakfast."


After breakfast, I returned to my room. I pulled out my Ancient Runes lecture notes. It was that time in the summer when I started to review and revise my notes for the year. I didn't notice Sirius pacing silently in the hallway just outside my room, feeling foolish but wanting me to notice him.

When I failed to, however, and bent my head over my notes, Sirius finally leaned on my doorway and said abruptly, "Let's go."

I turned around in my seat. "What?"

"We're going to go out."

"Go out?"

"On a date."

"You can't be serious."

"I am. You can Dissulurate my appearance, right?"

"Dissuluration only works so long as there's no magic, no rain, and only for a limited time," I reeled off.

"That sounds like a perfect date. No magic, no rain, and for a limited time," Sirius replied.

"You've lost your mind," I said, shaking my head.

I started to turn around when Sirius walked into my room and dropped to his knees beside me. He gently grabbed my waist and turned me around in my seat. "Just once."

I opened my mouth to tell him why this was a horrible idea, when he said, "We've never been on a date. Not even before… before I was imprisoned in Azkaban."

"It doesn't have to be anything grand," he told me. "We can just run down to the coffee shop nearby for twenty minutes and come back. That's all I'm asking. We'll stay in the Muggle vicinity. We won't risk anything."

He gripped my shoulders lightly. "You can wear that new ridiculous sweater and thirty scarves even though it's summer," he promised.

"Thanks?" I said, a bit puzzled.

He looked at me imploringly, not letting me get away with changing the topic or laughing it off.

Finally, I relented, though I felt like a complete fool in doing so. "Fine…" I murmured, blushing a little at my own stupidity. "But twenty minutes – no more than that. We're not leaving this area. We're not talking to anyone else. And we're both going to Dissulurate ourselves so there's no chance of being recognized. And we're taking an umbrella."

"But it's the dead of summer-"

"We are taking an umbrella."


I Dissulurated Sirius, taking my time to make sure most of his features were changed or covered. I changed his hairline to a sharper cut and made his hair dirty blonde. I also changed his eyes from his dark blue-gray eyes to a medium blue. I sharpened and shortened his nose a bit and gave him a slimmer jawline. I also drew his eyebrows together slightly.

Afterwards, I Dissulurated myself, though to a slightly lesser degree. Then, I brought Quincy into my room with me and set him on the edge of my dresser. The dresser had a glass layer over it, so it was all right if he burned it. I knelt down next to the cardboard box marked "Sola's Old Things". It was the stuff I'd cleaned out to prepare Sola's room for Harry. I opened it up. Most of it was old books, but there were a few dresses in there. I held up three different dresses and wore the one at which Quincy spouted the most fire at.

"Great, I'll go with this one, then," I said, throwing it on. It was a floaty lavender dress. I'm sure most people would tell me it was far too outdated – which, considering that it was one of Sola's old, discarded dresses, it probably was. On the other hand, I had cleared the low barrier of not being in Jamie's blinding sweater and thirty scarves, so I figured this was a good compromise.

I fetched my umbrella and pulled on a light jacket, which I tucked my wand in an inside pocket. I started to turn away when I heard a soft whining sound. I turned back to see Quincy looking up at me.

"Oh, right, I'll put you back in your cage, Quincy," I said. I held out my hand to him, but he shrank back.

I frowned. "What is it? I'm not going to hurt you."

Quincy nodded, agreeing with me. Then, he glanced down at the umbrella and blinked.

"Yes, I'm going out," I said.

Quincy turned in a circle and then sat down.

"You want me to take you with me?"

Quincy nodded enthusiastically and let out a small spurt of fire from his mouth.

"I'm sorry. I can't," I said. "It's a Muggle café. You wouldn't be able to burn anything, or we'd be in real trouble."

Quincy looked at me solemnly, as though promising he would do no such thing. He gave me two, slow blinks.

"I can't," I repeated softly. "You have to stay here."

I held out my hand again, but Quincy backed away. He looked at me sadly, and then the most horrible thing happened – he slowly started to turn blue.

"Oh God!" I said. "All right, all right, I'll take you with me! Don't turn blue, Quince, please."

He instantly turned bright pink-red again, with a thin layer of red flame bursting out along his spine.

I let out a sigh of relief. "All right," I said. "Come here." He scampered into my hand willingly. I carefully put him in my pocket and tucked my wand inside my dress' waistband inside.


Sirius and I finally went out together. We went to the nearby café, as promised. Sirius got a table for us in the back corner of the café. I went and ordered two drinks for us. I waited at the counter and picked up the two lattes before heading back to where Sirius was.

To my surprise, I saw a young lady sitting in my seat, trying to talk to Sirius. He was shaking his head at her, but she only moved away when she saw me standing there. When she finally left, I sat down and trying not to give away any emotion, I set Sirius' drink in front of him.

"This one's on you," Sirius whispered to me, amused. "You're the one who came up with this disguise." But I could tell he was feeling pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes as I sipped my drink.

Sirius suddenly frowned. "What's that in your pocket?" he asked me.

"Hm?" I said.

"Don't play dumb," he replied immediately.

Just then, Quincy peeked out from inside my jacket.

"Merlin, Ray," Sirius groaned.

"He got sad when we were leaving!" I said defensively. "He turned all blue…"

Sirius sighed.

"Sorry," I said gently, meaning it this time. I reached for his hand and slipped my fingers between his. He softened a little and held my hand back. For a long moment, we stayed like that, not saying anything – not needing to. It was so strange for us to be sitting in public and to be holding hands.

New customers came in, shaking their jackets to get the rain off, but I thought nothing of it.

"Can I ask you something?" Sirius asked, breaking our quiet reverie.

I looked at him and nodded.

"That night… That night when I asked you to leave," Sirius said slowly. In a very quiet voice, he said, "You knew I'd set up a trap. But what were you really thinking?"

Even though he was asking about a long time ago, even though the answer should be blurry for all intents and purposes, I remembered that night clear as a bell. I'd thought about it so many times – how foolish and naïve I'd been to run back to him like that, thinking we could start a relationship if only we committed to one.

When I didn't answer right away, he said gently, "You can tell me anything. I promise I won't get mad." His fingers squeezed mine.

"I was so foolish, running back to you like I didn't have to think about anything else except you and me," I confessed. "I mean, I knew something was off, of course. That's why I was hanging around London. Though, I never did manage to figure it out… about Worm, I mean."

"But all of that left my head that night," I murmured, recalling it all. "I got on a train, thinking I needed to leave. And then, I saw this elderly couple on the train, just sitting together. And it made me think… of a life outside of war, and what that might look like with someone by my side. And I imagined you in front of me, saying my name. Just saying my name. It broke me. I decided I would do whatever it took to build a life with you, or to at least try. Maybe time would pass, and you wouldn't want me anymore and things wouldn't work out, but I made up my mind to try. I was ready to drop everything to make it work for you."

"And then I asked you to leave," Sirius said heavily.

I shook my head at him. "You were right. That was the right thing to do. I think I was just being… young and foolish and hopeful. What did it matter if I wanted you or not, when there was a war waging all around us?"

I regret leaving the Order, I thought. If I had stayed, could I have been able to figure out that Peter was the traitor?

I ducked my head slightly to drink my latte.

Then, I suddenly noticed that my jacket pocket was still – oddly still.

"Oh my God," I whispered. I felt my jacket pocket.

"Quincy," I muttered, and I looked frantically all around the floor. Then I saw him – darting this way and that, quick enough not to catch eyes. He was chasing after people's shoes, following their wet footprints to the door. Wait! Wet footprints?

"Oh no, it's raining!" I realized, standing up abruptly in my seat. Everyone in the vicinity looked at me.

As Quincy slipped outside, I frantically made my way through the crowd of people and dashed outside.

Sirius stared after me in disbelief as I suddenly left him, exclaiming that it was raining, and then also forgot to grab the umbrella I'd insisted on bringing with us. Nearby, an elderly lady chirped out, "You've got yourself an interesting one there, lad."

Sirius groaned and chased after me.

I was outside, chasing Quincy. A few feet in front of me, a tiny flame darted this way and that in the rain, panicking as its flames began to burn out.

"Quincy, don't run! Let me help you!" I squatted down in the middle of the sidewalk and quickly picked him up. Luckily, there weren't too many people outside because of the rain. I hurriedly looked on either side of me. I knew I needed to find shelter for Quincy. We were both getting drenched. I spotted an old red phone booth. I hurried over to it.

"Lynx!" I heard Sirius calling for me as he ran to catch up to me.

I ran into the phone booth but kept the door open for Sirius. He slipped in behind me a moment later, and closed the door behind him.

"Quincy, are you all right?" I whispered, concerned.

I opened my hands to see him shivering madly.

"Oh, buddy," I said softly. I clasped my hands around him, trying to help him get his warmth back. Sirius sighed, but he brought his hands up to cup them around to help Quincy retain his heat enough to flare up again. Finally, when I felt Quincy's flames tickling my hands, I opened my hands.

"See," I said to him, "I told you it's dangerous to go running off."

Quincy nuzzled my palm apologetically.

"Did you learn your lesson?" I asked him sternly.

Quincy nodded at me, looking guilty.

"All right, then," I said.

I put him gently into my pocket and told him, "You stay there."

I looked up at Sirius. I blinked. He looked like him again, and he was wet. Well, we both were. His hair was in his eyes, dripping from the rain. I reached up and gently pushed his hair out of his eyes.

"You look like you again," I said softly. Unable to see my own face, I asked him, "What about me?"

"Let's see…" Sirius said. He pretended to examine my face.

I laughed. "It shouldn't take that long, Sirius. You should remember what I look like."

At this, Sirius said more solemnly, "Lynx, look at me."

Our eyes met, and he held my gaze. I shivered slightly from the rain, cold on my skin, and from his gaze, which still caught me off guard when he looked at me intensely like this. He searched my eyes, and I wondered why. I didn't know that he was looking deeply at the color of my eyes, committing it to his memory, and trying to remember it from before Azkaban. It had unnerved him when he forgot the color of my eyes and the size of my hands against his, and he'd had to try to imagine it, and hope that he was right. Finally, he found the shade he was looking for – that flash of color when I became nervous around him, but also couldn't help except to stare back at him.

"Yes," he whispered, stepping closer to me, "I remember you."

I felt strangely nervous, with butterflies fluttering lightly in my stomach. I shifted back slightly until my back was resting against the narrow wall of the phone booth.

Sirius put his hands on either side of me and he slowly leaned forward until his lips met mine. I breathed in when our lips finally touched.

We were both careful with each other – hesitant, glancing, unsure. But then, it was as though our bodies were experiencing a flood of memories quite apart from our mind. Because this feeling of his lips against mine was a lovely, warm familiar feeling.

Yes, I thought, I know you too. I remember you like this – when you're mine, and I'm yours.

And slowly, we found each other, and our lips locked more deeply.

His mouth was so warm against mine… Thoughtlessly, my hands traced up his chest and gripped his jacket collar and pulled him closer to me, encouraging him to press his lips more tenderly against mine. His hands slid over my body, one of them wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him, and the other gently grasped the back of my head. When his warm hand pressed against my waist, I shivered a little. My dress was soaked through, the thin fabric clinging to my skin, leaving my skin a bit cold, and the warmth of his hand pressed up against my skin made me shiver as the heat passed through my dress and then through me.

"Cold?" he murmured.

"No," I breathed out.

"Don't lie," he said teasingly. "I can feel you shivering, love."

But I wasn't lying. Sirius, to me, had always been this lovely, steady warmth. While he was with me, I was never cold. I wished I could pull him even closer to me. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, and never let him go. "'M not- not lying," I murmured back between kisses.

He took advantage of my speaking, of my parting my lips to reply, to press his lips against mine in a way that coaxed me to open my mouth just a little more to kiss me deeper. He moaned softly as he did.

"So sweet..." he murmured.

"Hm?"

"You taste so sweet," he breathed out.

"'S probably the latte," I mumbled, without thinking.

Sirius laughed softly. "Well, that's not what I meant, but all right."

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck to bring him back down to me so that I could kiss him. He obliged, pressing me up gently against the wall. I sighed in bliss, and I knew that we were both feeling a sense of release. If I could have things my way, I'd have Remus and Harry live with us forever (or as long as it took for them to find their own partners and families), but such a situation demanded that Sirius and I be very careful and very restrained with if and how we showed each other physical affection. We'd come close, but never actually kissed while in the house, so this was our first real kiss.

As though reading my mind, Sirius murmured, "So, twelve years of complete abstinence -"

"You lived like a nun," I agreed.

"What do you think? Did it make me a better kisser?" he said sarcastically.

"Maybe," I teased back. "If it's made you want this more..."

"I'll tell you what made me want this more. Being cooped up in that house, trying not to traumatize Harry and Moony," Sirius complained. "It's been driving me mad, not being able to take you like this."

"I don't need their help in keeping you away from me. You're already stingy with kisses," Sirius murmured, pressing his hand against my cheek.

"I am not," I protested, pulling away a little.

He smiled. "Not once you're comfortable. But getting you there is a long road. Particularly because for some reason, you hate when I flirt with you."

"Because you have no subtlety," I told him.

"Well, that's true. But can you blame me when I want you so bad?" He kissed me hungrily, not holding back or feeling shy anymore.

Just then, I thought I heard a awkward, timid squeak come from my jacket pocket. I suddenly broke away from Sirius.

"What?" Sirius said, surprised. "What is it?"

"We're still not totally alone," I reminded him. "There's a salamander with us."

As if on cue, Quincy poked his head out from my pocket. His flames were tinged an orange-pink, as though he was embarrassed. He pushed out a foot and held it up as if to plead "Stop."

Sirius squinted down at him and said, "I knew you were going to be trouble for me. I just knew it."

"You want us to stop, don't you?" I said knowingly to Quincy. "Enough of our beastly behavior?" I laughed. "Okay, Quincy, I know, I know. We won't kiss anymore while you're here."

Under his breath, Sirius muttered, "Damn Remus."

I pulled out my wand from my dress and Dissulurated both of us again.

As we stepped out of the phone booth, I turned to Sirius and said sincerely, "I'm sorry I ruined our date."

"Well," Sirius sighed, "it being you, I'm not surprised it fell apart."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I said, suddenly indignant.

"You are the one who brought the little hell-demon," Sirius retorted.

I wanted to argue back, but to be honest, I didn't have any real defense here.

Seeing my defeated face, Sirius said, "At least we've still got the walk back."

He reached down and slid his fingers in mine, interlocking them. Holding hands, we walked back home, both of us resigned to the fact that we were failures at dating (admittedly, mostly my fault), but on the whole, not really upset about it, either.


Back at home, I put Quincy back.

"I warned you that you wouldn't like the Muggle outside world," I told him.

Quincy shook his head, as if to deny what I was saying.

"You still did?" I asked him.

He blinked twice.

"Despite the rain and kissing?" I asked him.

He paused and cocked his head to the side. Then, he slowly blinked twice.

I laughed and said, "All right, Quincy. I understand."

I went back to my room, peeled off my still wet dress which was sticking lightly to my skin, and took a shower.

Afterwards, I got dressed, put up my hair, and worked on my lesson plans. Remus was in the kitchen, drinking tea and writing an article. Sirius was trying to figure out how to magically create a big skylight in Buckbeak's room that was reflective enough that anyone who looked from outside wouldn't be able to see into the room. We fell into our own respective patterns in this way. We were certainly a lot quieter without Harry with us. And when Remus came home from his night shift at Flourish and Blotts, Sirius and I were extra careful to be quiet during the day so that he could catch up on sleep.


One evening, Sirius and I broke out the chess board, though we played in 'silent practice mode'. Remus came to us in the middle of our game, holding up his first article. But he passed right by us and held it out to Quincy, who looked up at Remus curiously from the top of his burning branch.

"Moony?" Sirius said. "If, at any point, you prefer literate readers, we're here, too."

Remus turned around and smiled. "Yes, I know. But I figured Quincy should see it first. I've written my first article on fire-dwelling salamanders, you see."

He came and sat down with us and watched us play.

"You know, I never understood why knights move in "L"s," he said.

"Again, I don't know if that's a question you're meant to ask," Sirius replied, as he fell for my bait and took my bishop.

I clucked my tongue. "Bad move, Sirius," I said, springing my trap.

"Damn it," he muttered.

"How did you not see that coming?" I chided him playfully.

Perhaps sensing a lecture coming, Remus got to his feet and walked out of the living room.

"You scared away Moony," Sirius said reproachfully.

"Sirius, pay attention." Sitting up on my knees, I reached over to his pieces and rearranged it back to their places three moves prior. "You're supposed to do this, not that," I said, retracing his movements and showing him where he went wrong. Staring down at the board, I then moved his rook. "And then here, like this."

Letting go of his rook, I looked up at him as I said, "That's how you avoid the check..."

There was a short, intense moment of silence as our eyes met.

"...mate," I finished, my voice trailing off.

The air between us suddenly felt electric. Before I could make sense of what was going on, before I could get beyond the powerful feeling of wanting him, Sirius had already reached for me. Grasping me tightly by the waist, he dragged me forward, across the chess board, and pulled me to his lap.

The pieces spilled, rolling everywhere, but neither of us cared. Our hands were all over each other as we kept tugging one another closer, even though we were already pressed up against each other. We kissed desperately, both of us breathing heavily.

"Oh, Merlin," I heard someone breath out in disbelief.

I froze. That could only be one person... Looking over my shoulder, I saw Remus standing there, mouth open, holding a glass of water. Pushing Sirius back, away from me, I quickly got up, accidentally stepping and slipping a little on Sirius' leg.

"Ow, Lynx," he muttered, rubbing his thigh.

"Remus, sorry, we didn't think – you didn't… need to see that," I stuttered, mortified.

"Er – that's all right," Remus said, though his face was slowly turning salmon pink too.

Only Sirius was perfectly comfortable. He snorted at our overwhelming awkwardness and said, "You don't have to be so embarrassed, Lynx. Moony's a grown man. He's fine with it."

"Besides," Sirius said, looking up at Remus. "He already knew we were together. Right, Moons?"

"Well, yes," Remus agreed.

"It's one thing to guess. It's another to have it shoved into your face, Sirius," I replied. Shaking my head, I looked back at Remus and said, "It won't happen again, Remus." I walked out of the living room and made my way to my own room.


Remus' POV

When Raylynx shut the door to her own room, Sirius looked up at me and said, a bit ruefully, "Sorry you had to see that, Moons. Hope you're not feeling sick again." But there was a smirk playing at his lips nonetheless.

I shook my head. "I'd just rather we not talk about it. Besides, I'm hoping to move out soon, anyways."

Sirius frowned. "Not that I have any right to ask you to stay in someone else's house, but I do think you should stay until Harry leaves for school, at least. He'll be sad if you're not here when he comes back."

"Oh, speaking of, d'you think you could run down and get some things down at the market?" Sirius asked me. "Lynx and I were talking about having a nice, last dinner-type of thing. Not a party or anything fancy, just something nice."

I frowned and said, "And since when I have reverted back to being your errand boy?"

Sirius had always been the laziest of all of us. James could barely stay still long enough to put his pants on. Peter was always anxious and on the move. I always felt compelled by some moral force to go along and pick up after the others. But Sirius... When the four of us were back at Hogwarts, he'd been excellent in making up games where the loser had to go fetch things from down in the kitchens – and he always won, without fail. It took me years to realize that the games he suggested were exactly that: games that he had suggested, meaning that he only played to his advantage.

Sirius shrugged. "Don't think of it that way," he suggested easily.

I snorted.

He waggled his eyebrow at me and said, "Think of it as a chance to say hello to your lover girl."

"My lover girl? What are you on ab-? Maggie?" I said, incredulously. "Padfoot, I told you, she's just being nice."

"I bet you one back rub that she isn't."

"I don't want to bet anything, Pads. I'm just saying that she isn't interested."

"And I'm saying that she is. So, if you believe that I'm wrong, then take my bet. If I lose, I'll make it nice and long."

"Fine," I said, irritated. "Fine, you'll owe me, Padfoot."

Sirius gave me a knowing smirk and said flippantly, "Whatever you insist, Moony."

As I walked down the street, it hit me that Sirius had, once again, so expertly tricked me into doing what he wanted. I grumbled to myself. And I was also feeling like an idiot because I normally wouldn't have been tricked by something as foolish as Sirius goading me about a girl – except that recently, being around Sirius and Raylynx all the time was a constant reminder of how alone I was. I was genuinely happy for them. Merlin knows that they deserved the happiest life possible, after all they had gone through to find each other. But when the warm glow of seeing my best friends together faded away, it left a certain hollowness within me. Because I didn't have a chance of finding that myself. Raylynx's family had been so anxious for her because she hadn't found some stable partner to settle down with by thirty-three. Well, I, at the age of thirty-three, had no hope of any lasting relationship whatsoever. Yes, there had been the occasional date or short-term relationship, but everything always flickered out so quickly. Because my partner could always see that I was going nowhere. I had nothing to offer her. And if I loved someone, if I really loved them, how could I ask them to live with me in poverty, and to be shunned by society for being with a werewolf, and not be able to have children for fear I would inflict my condition on an innocent child? No one in their right mind would accept such a terrible hand, and I myself had the self-awareness not to offer it in the first place.

This sobering reality of my life kept me grounded most days, and I usually managed to keep it from eating at me too much. Most days, I could tell myself that I didn't want for anything beyond what I already had: true friends, some sort-of job, and now, with Harry, my life was far brighter than it had ever been before. But, deep down, on days and nights when I was simply too tired to keep rationalizing everything and I just let myself feel, I felt the same old, deep ache inside of me. I couldn't help it. No matter how much my wolfish reality grounded me, there was the part of me that felt so alone all of the time.

"The human part," Lily had insisted, when I'd confided in her after she heard news that I'd rejected Gemma's offer to go with her to the Yule Ball. "That's the human part of you that wants love, Remus."

"What's the point if I can't have it?" I'd said grumpily.

She had smiled. "Some day you'll find someone who's going to love you, and that person is never, ever going to want to let you go, Remus. You'll see. And when I'm right, I'll come over to gloat."

"And if you're wrong?"

"I'm not wrong, Remus. You know that."

"Merlin, you're starting to sound like Prongs."

She had laughed. "Don't insult me like that, Remus. I may be dating him now, but I still intend to keep my dignity."

"Bad day?"

I looked up to see Maggie staring at me. I forced myself to smile. "No, I'm all right." I handed her the money.

"You know, I wanted to apologize for what I said last time," Maggie said, as she slotted in the money.

"Last time?"

"Yeah. I asked if your friend was your girlfriend. And I realized afterwards that it was horribly rude of me to ask that when it's none of my business," Maggie said straightforwardly. Her cheeks were a little pink, but she was determined to say what she meant. "It was just that I've seen the two of you together before. You passed me before on your way out, and I just thought that- But anyways, like I said, it's none of my business. I'm so sorry." She was definitely blushing now.

I blinked in surprise. "I wasn't thinking that you were rude at all," I murmured, unsure of what to make of the situation.

"Really? I mean, even before that, I spilled out my whole life story to you," Maggie said guiltily. "I know you weren't interested. Why would you be? I guess I was – I was just trying to make conversation. Like I said, we don't get a whole lot of customers here. So, I just wanted to talk to you. Sorry."

My head was spinning. "There's no need to apologize," I said finally.

"But you know, not to start telling you about my life all over again, but I did finally get a job. I'm going to write in an opinion column in the local newspaper," she said.

"Wow, that's incredible. Congratulations," I said, genuinely happy for her.

"Right, I'll stop talking about myself now. Here you are." Maggie held out my change.

I took it from her, and as I did, I felt her fingers brush against my palm.

Before I realized what I was doing, I heard myself murmur, "And she's not…"

"What?"

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Oh." Maggie paused. "She's not?"

"No..."

It did not escape my notice that her fingers were still resting lightly on my palm, not did it escape her notice that I had yet to draw my hand away.

"Then, do you think... Do you think I could bother you about my life a little more often, maybe?" Maggie asked me. Her voice was still direct, as she always was, but it was as soft and wanting as I'd ever heard it.

Suddenly, the coins clattered from my hand as I dropped them to grip her wrist and pull her towards me. We both had to awkwardly lean over the counter, but we did, and then there was warmth between us as our lips met. We stayed that way long enough to become breathless, but she suddenly broke away a little and murmured, "Not – Not here."

She came out from behind the counter and taking my hand, quickly led me back to some kind-of storage room. I started to have doubts about where this was going and what in the world I was doing, but before I could think it through, she had kissed me again.

It was awkward between us. Neither of us were very experienced, nor did we know each other very well. But we were both so hungry for each other's warmth. Here we were, an outcast wolf man who wanted to resign himself to a life of quiet, but was altogether unable to and a bright woman unable to fulfill or give up on her dreams of being a writer because she hadn't been able to afford college and had to support her family – both of us left behind by society, both of us lacking in money and experience, and both of us so desperate for some kind-of affirmative human interaction.

We didn't care that it was awkward or messy or that our kisses, in their hastiness, missed each other's mouths. I accidentally kissed her nose or cheek more than once in attempting to find her lips. I was also a good head taller than her, and she kept kissing my chin instead. And hands – what does one do with hands when kissing? She, at least, seemed to have found some place on my awkward, thin body to press them against – namely, my ribs. Maybe she mistook them for abs? Who knows? But I didn't know what to do with my hands. I strangely petted her hair, but she murmured in discomfort, so I reached down to try to find her waist, but nearly grasped her breasts.

I blushed, but the mercy of it all was that we kept kissing throughout all of this, so that we eventually found each other's mouths and began to kiss more synchronously. She wrapped her arms around me and I finally found her waist, and grasped it gently with my hands.

And before I knew it, things were unfolding at a far faster pace than I could have imagined. I don't remember when I pulled her up and set her on top of the boxes, nor do I remember her grasping at my belt buckle. But it suddenly hit me what we were very close to doing, and the alarm sirens went blaring off in my head.

"I- I can't," I panted, pulling away from her abruptly.

"What? Why?" She looked up at me, confused at the sudden shift in the mood.

I felt guilty for pulling away so suddenly, but it was like reality all came flooding back to me at once. For a moment, I imagined having to tell this woman that not only was I a wizard, but I was a werewolf. And if she accidentally took child, then she might have to deal with the horrors that my mother and father did, and I would be responsible for ruining her life, not to mention the life of an innocent child who was subject to the same life of suffering that I had – all because of this one moment of passion, of lost restraint, of irresponsibility. What did this sweet Muggle lady know of magic and werewolves? I could imagine the look of horror on her face if I told her what I was.

In my memories, a flash of a light white summer dress floated before my eyes. The girl's voice screaming at me, "Why didn't you tell me, Remus!?" sounded out clear as a bell in my head.

"No, I can't," I repeated.

"Um… O-Okay," she said. She slid down from the counter and awkwardly buttoned her shirt back up.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, thoroughly ashamed of myself. "I'm so sorry. Please understand, Maggie, it's not you."

She didn't seem to believe me, as she wouldn't look me in the face. I waited for her as long as I could stand it, but she didn't seem to want to talk to me – or have anything to do with me, frankly. When I couldn't bear it anymore, I hurriedly got out of there, though some part of my mind made me realize that if I left the groceries, Maggie would have to put them all back herself. I picked up the bags on the way out. I wanted to look behind my shoulder to see if she was all right, but I knew I couldn't stay and comfort her as she wished. Shame ate away inside of me as I dashed out as quickly as I could and headed back home.


When I came back home, Raylynx and Sirius were both in the kitchen. Raylynx was trying to work on her notes for her Ancient Runes lectures and Sirius was bothering her incessantly.

"What about that one?" he'd say, pointing to the Rune for "defense". "That one looks like a duck's arse to me. Is that what it means?"

Raylynx swatted his hand away, but she couldn't hide the smile spreading on her face as he gently grabbed her and pulled her into his lap.

"I'll draw the one for mischief on your forehead if you don't stay still," Raylynx threatened him.

"I've a better place to draw it," Sirius said, raising his eyebrow and puckering his lips.

She laughed and said, "You're worse than my students! At least they know where to draw the line – literally."

"That's because I didn't take Ancient Runes. I took Muggle Studies," Sirius replied. "I can tell you all about the underground reelsway system."

"Oh, don't!" Raylynx said quickly, as Sirius began to reel off the botched facts that he remembered from class. "I think this is one of those rare cases where I'll be smarter for not hearing something."

Sirius chuckled and then leaning forward, he held her face and kissed her. She tried to hold stern, murmuring, "I've got to finish these notes," but she finally sighed and melted against him, kissing him back happily.

I paused at the doorway, still holding the grocery bags.

They both looked up.

"Remus, your wrist is about to snap!" Raylynx said, hurrying up to take the heaviest bag for me.

I'd forgotten that there was an entire case of beer in one of the bags.

"Oh, yes, that's the beer for Padfoot," I said, still a little out of it.

Sirius stood up from the table. "Moony? You all right? Your face looks a bit pale."

"Yeah, I'm all right," I said, setting the bags down on the table. I left the kitchen to wash my hands. Behind me, Raylynx and Sirius exchanged a concerned look. Sirius kissed Raylynx on the forehead before coming after me.

By the time I'd sprawled out on my bed, Sirius was standing in my doorway.

Before he could say anything, I shut my eyes and murmured, "You were wrong."

"About what?" he asked.

"About Maggie. She said she never wanted to see me again."

Sirius paused, surprised. "Really?" he said. "I was wrong?"

When I didn't reply, he said, "Merlin, I'm not at all what I used to be, am I? I used to be able to pick up on female desires like that."

"So, technically, you owe me a back rub, Pads," I said, sighing.

"I guess I do. Turn over, Moony."

"No, you don't really have to give me one. I was just saying that you were wrong, and I was right," I replied.

"A bet's a bet. Turn over, Moons."

"No thanks, Padfoot."

"Turn over!" Sirius reached over and tried to push me over.

"I said I didn't want it!" I said, resisting. "I won the bet! It should be whatever I want."

"That's not the bet, if you recall correctly -" Sirius pushed harder, but I held resolutely to the bed. He started to grit his teeth. "- I said I'd give you a long and nice back rub. Now let me give it to you."

"And I said, 'No, thanks!'"

"Moony, it's high time you get what you deserve, and you know it."

"Padfoot, get the hell off of me!"

"Just get on your stomach! What the hell's the problem?"

"What in Merlin's name is going on here?" Raylynx asked, appearing suddenly at the doorway. Her arms were crossed, and she had a highly amused smirk on her face as she looked at Sirius pouncing on me on my bed, trying to get me to turn over onto my back. I looked up at her, a bit breathless. Padfoot took the chance to effectively tackle me and flip me over. I flopped over like a dead fish. Raylynx laughed.

"Sirius!" I shouted, frustrated.

Equally frustrated, he shouted back, "Remus!"