Raylynx's POV
"Miss? Miss? Are you all right? Miss, wake up!"
I slowly opened my eyes, feeling dazed and disoriented.
Then, I held my breath as I saw familiar brown eyes, sparkling with a merry mix of wit and humor… Am I dead? Am I in the afterlife?
"Dorcas…?" I murmured. I reached up, but the pair of eyes jerked away.
"Steady there. Back down, Seth." Another familiar face swam into being above me, as he gently pushed away the first person. "Raylynx, can you sit up?"
I tried to, but as I pushed myself up, my head spun and I fell backwards almost immediately.
Somebody firmly grasped my shoulders to help me sit up. "Raylynx. Look at me. Are you all right?"
I turned my head to look at the person who was supporting me. "Jasper…?"
"Yes, it's me. I'm here."
I frowned. My head was still buzzing, but I tried to pick myself up. I got up off the ground. Jasper stayed near me, seeing if he needed to catch me. I blinked slowly, trying to feel my legs and catch my breath. I looked around. Shops with stacks of books and merchandise were everywhere, but the sun coming down was so golden and glowing and strong that I couldn't make out the names of the shops. I stared in awe at the burning sunlight before me. "Where am I?" I murmured, still wondering if I might have died and gone to the afterlife.
Then, someone answered, "You're in Carkitt Market, Miss."
I looked towards the person who had answered me. He stepped closer to me, and I saw his eyes – Dorcas' eyes. He's the reason I thought I was dead. I thought for a moment that it was her, my best friend… He returned my gaze with a soft smile, though he looked more than a little confused. I wondered how many times he'd looked like that in front of Dorcas, as she had tangled his thoughts with her marvelous comebacks time and time again.
I paused, trying hard to remember his name. Finally, I whispered, "Seth?"
He looked at me, startled. "You remember me?"
"Yes. You're Dorcas' little brother."
His eyes were wide with surprise. "I didn't think you'd remember me. I was just a first year when you were in seventh year with my sister… And you were TriWizard Champion and all."
"How are you, Seth?"
"I'm all right. Better," he said. His voice was gentle as he told me, "I've got a family of my own now, you know. I've a little one, and she's – well, she's quite spunky. I think you'd recognize some of her traits. She's always got some new argument up her sleeve to justify why she snuck away another cookie or stayed out and jumped rope for too long."
My God, so there is a little Dorcas running around. She's not totally gone.
He laughed weakly. "Don't cry now," he told me.
I hadn't realized I had been. I reached up and wiped my face and murmured, "Sorry. I'm sorry."
I looked between Seth and Jasper. My senses were starting to return.
"Why are you both here?" I asked.
"Well, I'm a member of Magical Law Enforcement Patrol," Seth informed me. "Someone reported that a young lady had collapsed in an alleyway… and it turns out that that young lady is you."
"And Jasper was on shift at Gregorovitch's here," Seth told me. "He's an Auror, you know."
"She knows," Jasper said quietly.
My eyes flickered back up to Jasper, who was watching me with worried eyes.
Realizing what Seth had said, I asked him, "Who reported me?"
"It was an anonymous tip-off," Seth replied. "It reported that you'd fallen in an alleyway and weren't breathing. Although, the report was mistaken. When I found you, you were breathing, thank Merlin."
"Which alleyway was it?"
Seth pointed to a nearby alleyway. It was quite narrow and very dark. I walked over to the alleyway with my wand out. Jasper and Seth followed me. I lighted the tip of my wand lifted it to see into the narrow alleyway. I saw some storage boxes lined up against the walls, but that was it.
Behind me, Seth asked, "Why did you end up here? Were you hiding from someone?"
I opened my mouth to respond, but my memory was blank. I tried to remember, but as I attempted to think backwards, a sharp pain ran through my head.
"Ah!" I cried out and grabbed my head with my hands. I fell against the wall, though I managed to retain my grasp on my wand.
"Raylynx! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Jasper asked urgently.
"I can't… I can't remember anything," I whispered. "Why can't I remember anything?"
"We should take her to St. Mungo's," Jasper said worriedly.
"That's not a bad idea, but from her reaction, it's most likely a Confundus Charm, followed by a Memory-altering Charm of some kind," Seth recognized. "Not even St. Mungo's can help very much with that. It will simply take time for the mind to relax again."
Jasper's eyes flashed. "But that most likely means that she was ambushed."
"Yes," Seth said. "It's highly probable that Raylynx saw her attacker, but the attacker needed her to forget. That's the most common case for using Confunding and Memory-altering spells together. "
"The question is what the attacker approached her for in the first place," Jasper realized.
Seth turned to me and asked, "Raylynx, what's the last thing that you do remember? Without forcing your memory, I mean."
I rummaged around in my mind hesitantly.
"Don't push yourself now. Don't trigger any more pain," Jasper said, watching me think.
It took a while, but finally, I found my last clear memory. "I was leaving my house and I meant to come here, to Carkitt Market."
"You did? You meant to come here?" Jasper repeated, surprised. "Do you remember why?"
Slowly, I shook my head.
Jasper's eyes seemed to flicker in a quiet disappointment, but he nodded. "All right. Seth, you should report this to the Ministry."
Seth nodded. "Take care, Raylynx. If you remember anything later, come find me." A moment later, he Disapparated.
"Would you like to go to St. Mungo's?" Jasper asked me.
I shook my head.
"Are you sure? I think you should. They could give you a Calming Draught, for starters."
"No," I said firmly. I wanted to go home and make sure Sirius, Remus, and Harry were all right. It frightened me that I couldn't remember anything, and more than anything else, I needed to see that they were safe.
"Well, all right. Then, I suppose we should get you home so you can rest," Jasper said to me. "Are you feeling well enough to Disapparate with me?"
"What about your shift?" I asked him. "Seth said you were looking after Gregorovitch."
"Shacklebolt is also with Gregorovitch. I can spare a few minutes," Jasper replied.
"Thank you, but I can make it back on my own," I said gently. "Don't… Don't inconvenience yourself for me. Not again."
Jasper shook his head and held out his arm. "It'll be safer with me. Two is always better than one. Come on now."
I reached out and took Jasper's arm. Just before he turned, I looked back once more at the dark alleyway. I thought I saw a shadow in the deep darkness towards the end of the alleyway, but I couldn't be sure as Jasper pulled me along into the twisting vortex.
We arrived out on our street. Jasper walked me back to my house. Neither of us spoke until we reached my front door.
"Still involved in clandestine affairs, I see," Jasper said finally, smiling just a little. "Some things don't seem to change about you and me."
I didn't know what to say. Remembering what Savage had said to me, that Jasper had meant to propose, and yet knowing that it didn't change my feelings for him made me feel so many conflicting emotions before him. I looked up at him, unable to hide both the guilt I felt for having rejected him as well as the certainty that I could never love him the way I loved Sirius.
He saw the way I looked at him, and the quiet resolution and resistance in my eyes. He gently patted my shoulder and said, "I know, Raylynx. I know. Thank you for returning my ring to me."
"I was afraid you'd be angry with me for sending it back to you," I admitted.
"No, not angry. I'm never angry at you. Even on days where I want to be," Jasper said quietly. "But I was surprised when Savage gave it to me. What made you send it back?"
"Um, a bird tried to eat it," I confessed honestly.
Jasper laughed softly. "A very practical reason, I see."
I tried to smile back at him, but I found it difficult.
"Well, for whatever reason, thanks. Now, get inside," Jasper said to me, keeping his hand lightly on my shoulder. "Whatever happened, you need to rest."
"Will Seth be all right?" I asked. "I know it's his job, and he's clearly more than capable at it. But I really can't remember anything, and this kind-of mind-blocking magic is very difficult to master. It makes me worry that whoever did this to me… isn't an easy match for anyone."
"Don't worry," Jasper assured me. "Law Enforcement will team up with us Aurors to investigate the matter and find who was behind this. You'll be safe, and so will Seth."
"And you?" I asked.
"Yes, and me."
Just then, we heard a small parade of voices shouting from inside.
"Woof! Woof, woof!"
"Raylynx? Raylynx, is that you?"
"Professor! Where were you?"
The door opened and Remus and Harry stood there, both slightly breathless. Besides them, Padfoot was also looking up at me, tail wagging frantically.
Jasper's hand dropped from my shoulder.
"Jasper?" Remus asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.
"Hello, Remus. I hope you've been well," Jasper said kindly. He nodded at Harry before turning to me again.
"Be safe, then," he said to me, and then took his leave.
I stepped inside the house.
"Raylynx?" Remus said.
I shook my head slowly, still trying to come to grips with what had happened to me.
"Professor?" Harry looked up at me with concern written all over his face.
I put my hand on his shoulder. "I'm all right, Harry. I just… fell and bumped my head. I'm feeling a bit light-headed. I haven't had water since morning."
Remus shut the door behind me. Padfoot transformed back into Sirius.
I entered my room, slipping off my cloak and putting my wand down on the table. What had I been doing? I really did remember stepping outside my front door and intending to go to Carkitt Market. But I couldn't remember actually going there or how it came to be that I'd passed out. I tried to remember actually arriving at Carkitt Market, but again, that terrible sharp pain that made me feel like my head was splitting in half, returned. I hissed in pain.
Just then, my bedroom door opened, and Sirius walked in. He was carrying a glass of water, which he set down on the bedside table. "Here," he said. "You forgot to actually get the water."
"Thank you."
"So, what happened?" he asked me.
"I was in Carkitt Market, and I guess I lost track of time," I mumbled. I felt so anxious that I couldn't remember anything for a few hours, and a few hours of today, no less. I sat down on the bed and started to drink the water. My hair caught between my lips and the glass.
Sitting next to me, Sirius brought his hand up to sweep my hair back from my face. As he pushed it back over my shoulder, his eyes tightened as he saw splotchy bruises peppering down the side of my neck and down my shoulder. He could also make out rips in my shirt and cloak, as though I had been dragged somewhere. Sirius' eyes tightened. "Don't lie to me, Lynx."
I put the now-empty glass of water down and murmured, "I'm not lying. I really did-"
"Then what's this?" Sirius gently but impatiently yanked me up from the bed and led me to the mirror. He turned me around slightly and then tugged at the neckline on my shirt and cloak so that I could see the bruises running down my neck and down past my shoulder.
I gasped softly.
"Don't hide anything from me. Tell me," Sirius demanded.
I turned around to face Sirius. "Please don't panic, Sirius-"
Through gritted teeth, Sirius growled, "If it's Lucius Malfoy again-"
"It's not!" I said hastily. Then, I amended, more honestly, "Or, well, I don't know…"
I bit my lower lip as I admitted, "I can't remember…"
"You can't remember who did this to you?" Sirius said incredulously.
"Sh," I pleaded, "Harry will overhear you."
"Raylynx Kingsley," Sirius said in a low, dark voice that promised a storm, "you tell me what happened."
"I'm trying to!" I replied sincerely. "But I can't remember anything."
"What do you -?"
"They found me in Carkitt Market," I explained.
"Found you…?" Sirius watched me with intense, careful eyes.
"Yes. There were two Ministry officials there, waking me up."
"And you can't remember anything before that?"
"I remember wanting to go to Carkitt Market, but not why." I looked up at Sirius. "Did I mention anything about Carkitt Market before I left today?"
Sirius shook his head. "No, you didn't say anything. Actually, you were gone before the rest of us woke up. I thought you'd gone to read to Alice or to see your sister or brother."
Sirius frowned, thinking hard. "Why would you need to go to Carkitt Market?"
"That's just it," I said, shaking my head. "I can't remember."
We both stood there for a moment. Sirius was standing quite rigid, as though debating whether or not to take action. I hesitated, and then I realized that I hadn't told Remus or Harry anything.
"I think I alarmed Harry. I want to go see him," I said. "I'll be right back."
Sirius watched me leave my room. His eyes were dark and moody, but he didn't say anything to me as I passed him.
I peeked my head in Harry's room and seeing that he wasn't there, I headed for the kitchen. Sure enough, both Remus and Harry were sitting at the table. They both had work spread out before them, but it didn't look like they were getting anything done at the moment, as they were talking quietly together.
"Raylynx." Seeing me, Remus stood up. "Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine," I said as brightly as I could. "I'm sorry if I worried you coming in. I was just feeling a bit tired after running around for a few hours."
"What did the two of you do this morning?" I asked them, trying to make conversation.
Remus and Harry exchanged looks, like I wasn't understanding the gravity of the situation.
"Well, I was doing my schoolwork," Harry said slowly.
"Yes, Harry worked on his schoolwork and I worked on another article, before we spent the rest of the day wrestling Sirius back and convincing him not to show himself in broad daylight to go after you," Remus said, his voice heavily sarcastic.
"The rest of the day?" I repeated, confused. It was still bright outside.
"It's nearly nightfall," Remus told me. "You left in the morning."
I turned around to look up at the clock. It was eight in the evening. Since it was August, the days were long. That was why the sunlight had been so strong when I woke up in Carkitt Market. The sun had been setting, and I must have been facing west.
I've lost my entire day? I bit my lower lip in worry.
"We were beginning to worry about you," Harry admitted. "We were just discussing who could go out to find you when you came back."
I finally realized how much concern I must have caused them, and Sirius. I had been gone the entire day, without leaving any message, and then I came back flustered and with bruises on my neck.
"I'm sorry," I said sincerely. "I'm sorry for worrying you both."
Remus recognized that I still hadn't explained what had happened to me, but he knew better than to ask in front of Harry. I gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze and then returned to my room.
I found Sirius sitting at my desk. He had his wand out and he was deep in thought. Even without us talking, I immediately knew what was on his mind.
"Sirius," I said softly, "there's nothing for us to go off of right now. Please don't go anywhere. Anyways, the Aurors are already investigating Carkitt Market. We shouldn't risk you running into them."
"The Aurors… You mean Jasper?" Sirius said, not looking up from his wand.
"Well, probably, seeing as he was one of the two that found me," I replied.
I stepped closer to him and asked him, "Will you at least promise not to go off somewhere while I take a shower? I need to wash up, but I can't do that if I think you're going to go barging off."
Sirius didn't look up at me, but he nodded.
"Thank you," I said softly. My fingers brushed the back of his neck gently as I walked over to the bathroom.
After I stepped out of the shower, I used my wand to dry my hair. I paused as I looked at the bruises running down my neck and shoulder. There were also long scratches down my back, though they were clean red lines and not bruising. And then, there was still that tracing of the lotus rune, though its outline had faded from black to gray.
I turned around and stared at myself in the mirror. My face didn't feel like my own. Whoever had erased my memory had erased a whole day… A part of myself had been lost. As time passed, I knew I would find myself again, because as time passes, a day loses its importance in the passing of weeks and months and years. As time passes, we lose memories even without someone else altering our minds. But for today, I couldn't help feeling like a balloon that had had its strings cut. I was just floating. It was an oddly eerie feeling. I'd felt it once before – when I'd fallen deep into the ocean and let the waves take me. It was the same feeling of being suspended in something far greater and slowly losing oneself. I shivered.
I changed into a shirt and comfortable bottoms. I also pulled on another one of Jamie's sweaters. I needed all of the comfort I could get.
I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Sirius still in my room. He was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, and even though he didn't look at me when I came in, I knew he was lying on my bed and not on the floor for my sake, so that I would join him – and I did. I got onto the bed and snuggled up to his side. Sirius let me do so, though he made no move to reciprocate.
"I'm sorry I worried you," I murmured. "I didn't realize I was gone for the whole day."
Sirius remained silent, though I felt him relax a little.
After a few minutes passed, he said, "Lynx, promise me something."
"Promise you what?"
"That you'll come to me when you're in trouble."
"No," I replied immediately. "I'll never run to you if there's something after me. I would run as far away from you as I could."
Sirius groaned. He slung his arm over his face, covering it. "You make it so hard to love you sometimes. I just want to protect you."
"I know," I said. "And I'm grateful you feel that way. But I don't want protection from you."
"Then what?" he asked me. "What do you want from me?"
The way he asked that question made me pause. As much as he was demanding, he was pleading. He felt like he was suffocating, being cooped up in a house while I was in danger. More than anyone I knew, it was in his nature to rush out and be the first protector. He didn't fear battle, but he did fear standing by and watching those he cared about hurt. I remembered the way he had yelled at me after the mission in the siren caves. I'd been paralyzed with fear at the thought of possibly having killed Regulus or Audrey or Snape, even, and it had nearly cost Marlene her life… He'd been so angry with me then. Because he wanted to protect Marlene, but he couldn't. There was another layer to his anger now, that wasn't so straightforward, but I could sense it anyways. It was the part of him that asked me what he could do for me, if not to protect me. That was how he saw his own value – as a protector, as my protector. But I didn't need that. I didn't want that. I just wanted to be with him.
"Nothing," I said simply. "Just you. To hold… To touch… To be with…"
I shifted up onto my shoulder and leaned into him a little, and I gently pushed away his arm so I could see his face.
He gazed down at me. "I think you severely overestimate who I am," he said quietly. But even as he said that, he knew that wasn't true. The Runes etched on his wand were proof of that. I saw him for who he was – no more, no less.
"Are you really all right?" he asked me. "And don't hide anything from me."
"I'm all right," I said honestly. "Better now, anyways." And it was true. Though I wished he would hold me, just being next to him made me feel more grounded, brought me back to myself.
As though he could read my thoughts, Sirius finally slipped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him. I shivered as his hand brushed against my bruises. He quickly moved his hand away from my neck and rested his hand on my arm instead.
"If you just say the word, I'll go and rip the head off of whoever did this to you," Sirius said darkly. "I'll start at Carkitt Market and I won't stop hunting whoever it was until I've made sure they won't ever come near you again."
I shook my head and keeping my voice light, I said, "No. Stay with me, please."
I felt his frustration as his fingers tightened a bit around my arm. I propped myself up and kissed him. We kissed gently. I could feel him trying to be careful with me. But as the minutes passed, he pushed me up slightly to trail kisses down my jaw. With his lips pressed against my throat, he murmured, "Is this how you want me?"
"Yes," I breathed out.
I finally felt him smile. Feeling my heart melt, I reached down to grasp his face gently and to kiss him back. That this man could be mine – as moody and cruel and violent and arrogant as he could be, but always striving to be better, always there for the ones he loved – that he held me and let me hold him, I could not ask for more.
But I didn't want to leave things unsaid between us. I broke away from him and putting my arms on either side of his shoulders, I looked down at him as I asked him, "It didn't bother you that it was Jasper who found me, right?"
"It shouldn't be," I said quickly. "He just happened to be the one on duty there, I promise. I just wanted you to know that, in case there was any misunderstanding. I am sorry I showed up with him, of all people. As if you weren't already worried about me."
Sirius returned my gaze, watching me stumble through my words, but his eyes were indecipherable.
Finally, he said, "I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me at all. But it's more the fact that I still think you should be with someone like him. Someone who can be by your side. Someone you don't have to be stuck indoors all day to be with. And someone who can actually go after you when you're hurt…"
"So, maybe he is better for you. Maybe you should go back to him. He seemed charming enough, anyways," he finished. I could tell it bothered him to admit this, and his voice became bitter as he stopped talking.
I hated how Sirius had become so bitter about himself. I hated it because I knew it well – that feeling of unworthiness and self-hatred. To see it in someone like Sirius broke me. I meant to be patient and kind, but a well of indignation arose within me. Before I knew it, I heard myself challenge him and say, "Is that what you want? You truly want me to go find him?"
Sirius paused, as he struggled with my question. Then, his possessiveness immediately swallowed up his self-reflection, and with his hands tightening on me, he growled, "No."
I laughed softly. "Good," I said. "Because I don't want to, either."
"But that's not the point," Sirius said. He looked up at me and his eyes clearing, he pleaded, "C'mon, give me some credit here. I'm trying to think of you, your well-being-"
"- Is to be with you," I interrupted.
"But I'm not… I'm not good, whatever that means. I never was, but now, like this-" Sirius said, struggling to articulate what he meant.
I cut him off. "I don't care. I don't care. I want you. And you are good, you know that. It's what's kept your magic alive all these years."
"And even though Jasper found me, even though he was there, I still felt so disorientated," I confessed, my voice falling to a whisper as I felt embarrassed admitting this out loud. "It's not until now, when I'm with you, that I'm starting to feel like myself again."
At this, Sirius pulled me down on top of him and hugged me tightly, though taking care not to put any pressure on my shoulders.
"I'm here," he murmured to me, tucking me against him. "I'm right here, love. You're safe with me."
I kissed his neck softly and then shut my eyes, slowly but surely regaining my sense of self with Sirius' warmth being both my anchor and my light to find my way home.
We came out for dinner, and Sirius, Remus, and I tried our best to retain an atmosphere of levity for Harry's sake. He seemed very skeptical of us, but he didn't push it and played along with us. He knows too much, I thought, watching him as he ate his meal. He can sense when things are off far more quickly than most kids can.
Afterwards, I challenged Harry to a final game of chess. I was holding up my own at least, if not winning, until Quincy came bouncing out of his glass tank. I chased him around for a few minutes before putting him back in his tank. What I hadn't realized was that Sirius had magically opened the tank behind my back to purposely release Quincy, and Remus switched out my black rook for one of Harry's deceased white rooks (which he quickly magically restored) and moved two of my pawns backed while I was distracted. When I sat back down, breathless, I said, "Sorry, Harry. Here, this is my move." I moved my piece before realizing what had happened.
As Harry moved his piece, I caught him trying to hide a smile. I looked down at the board and frowned. "Wait a minute," I said. "This isn't right…"
My eyes grazed over Harry's defeated pieces. "There was a rook there," I realized. "I took out one of your rooks, just now."
"Harry, what's become of your morals?" I chided, recognizing that he had switched out one of my rooks. But in my anger, I didn't realize the set of pawns that had been moved back in conjunction, which effectively set me back two moves and misaligned my knight and bishop. The fact that I would get caught up on my rook and not notice the pawns was, of course, all a part of Remus' plans.
When Harry won, Remus saw me starting to realize what had happened. "Good match, good match," he said, and quickly rolled up the chessboard and shoved it away.
I stared at Remus. "You cheat!" I cried out.
"Now, now," he said pacifyingly.
Harry looked on in amusement as I attempted to drag Remus into a tussle. Sirius, worried that I'd overexert myself over a game of chess, slowly but surely dragged me away from a harried-looking Remus.
"The claws of a grindylow…" Remus muttered, straightening his cardigan out. Harry guffawed.
"At least you gave the grindylow sardines in compensation!" I said, as Sirius unceremoniously dumped me on the couch.
"Pipe down, dictator-in-arms," Sirius scowled at me.
"Sardines won't save your crumbling empire, Professor," Harry told me, as he began cleaning up the chess pieces.
"That's quite a savage remark," I said, mildly impressed and mildly affronted. "You've gotten better with your insults. Is that all we've taught you this summer?"
Harry laughed. "I'm sure it'll be useful at Hogwarts for when I see Snape or Malfoy."
"Don't be savage to Professor Snape," I said to Harry.
"Why not?" Sirius snorted. "He deserves it."
"He really does, Professor," Harry backed up Sirius earnestly.
"It's not about that," I replied. "It's about keeping you out of detention, Harry."
"I'm not afraid of getting put in detention," Harry said stoutly.
"Yes, I'm well aware. That's why I'm saying this to you," I said dryly.
"Do you get along with Snape, Professor?" Harry asked me, looking at me with knowing eyes.
"That's different," I said defensively. "He's not my Professor." Under my breath, I muttered, "Thank Merlin."
Sirius chuckled besides me. "How a git like him ever became a Professor-"
"Yes, well. You'd better start packing for Hogwarts," Remus told Harry, cutting across our conversation. "Don't want to leave things last-minute…"
Harry nodded. I could tell he was sad over the thought of not having Remus back at Hogwarts next term. But he gave us all a wave and "good night". I held out my arms and made him give me a hug before he left us. Knowing that Harry was safe returned another piece of home to myself. We were still a bit awkward with each other, but he hugged me warmly enough.
Once he was gone, I relayed what I remembered (or rather, the lack of) had happened to me today to Remus. Remus' brow furrowed, as he was clearly disturbed by what he heard.
"We'll have to keep a stricter watch here," Remus said. "In case someone forced you to leak out information about Sirius while you were under their control."
Something about the way Remus said that – about forcing our information – stirred something in my mind. I tried to think harder and follow that line of thought, but as I did, a sharp pain jolted through my head.
"Ow!" I tried to keep my voice down, covering my mouth quickly to keep from Harry hearing.
"Lynx?" Sirius was immediately by my side on the couch.
"No, I just… My head hurt for a second. It's gone now," I said.
Remus watched me for a moment, concerned. He was thinking through all of the reasons why I might have a headache upon trying to remember what had happened. He came to the same conclusion that Seth had. "Someone must have altered your memory," he said quietly. "I wonder what they altered..."
I looked up at Remus, suddenly frightened. "What if they were after information on Harry or Sirius? What should we do?"
"Well, you and Harry will return to Hogwarts the day after tomorrow. I'll be moving to a new place then as well. That just leaves Sirius unprotected," Remus said, thinking it through.
I kept my voice low as I said, "No one knows about the bunker yet. I rather think that if anyone's watching, they'll be waiting for Sirius to leave when we do."
"That's true," Remus replied. "But you won't be able to visit often, Raylynx. It'll be suspicious if you do. The house is supposed to be empty without you, right?"
I frowned. "I should have told my neighbors I'm seeing someone."
"No, it's best to pretend like it's an empty house," Remus said. "Even rumors of a new resident might persuade the Aurors to do a deeper search."
I paused, considering all of our options. I looked over at Sirius a bit tentatively.
"What?" he said, picking up on my questioning gaze at once.
"What about Grimmauld Place?" I suggested.
"No," Sirius said immediately. "I'm not going back there."
"We could set it up so that there's a Secret-Keeper," I pressed, though I kept my voice quiet, not wanting to push this topic too much. "Since you own the property, you could make it Unplottable and prevent anyone from coming after you."
"Your parents already made it Unplottable, didn't they? I remember you mentioning it once," Remus said.
Sirius snorted. "Yeah, they did. They didn't want any Muggles bothering them."
"Well, you would be safer, then, Padfoot," Remus said. "You can't deny that."
"I'm not going back there," Sirius said harshly. "I spent enough of my time stuck there as a child. If that's the only place of safety, I'd damn well rather go back to Azkaban."
Remus and I both fell silent.
Finally, trying to ease the tension, I said, "Then, stay here."
"I'll buy some Floo Powder before I leave," I promised. "I can bring Harry up to my office. We can have chats all the time."
"I can make the bunker a bit more comfortable before I leave," Remus added. "And I can magick the windows of the house before I leave so that all the lights inside will be hidden."
Seeing our efforts to ease his frustration, Sirius tried to relax. He nodded and said gruffly, "Thanks, both of you."
"But, Sirius, you've got to have your head on at all times," Remus said sternly. "We won't be around to cover for you anymore."
"What do you mean by that?" Sirius said indignantly.
"What I mean is that you cannot be reckless," Remus replied.
Sirius smirked ever so slightly at his old friend. "Oh, Moony, can't imagine why you need to say such a thing. It's like you don't know me at all."
"Too well, Pads. I know you too well."
It was the night before Harry and I had to leave for Hogwarts. Remus and I had spent most of the day improving the bunker room. Since Buckbeak had moved into the master bedroom, we'd simply shrank all of the furniture in there and taken it out. But we brought it down and made everything bigger again, though perhaps not quite to its original size. I also spent all day learning the Charms for a false window. It was the same Charm that the Great Hall at Hogwarts used to emulate the weather outside. The Ministry of Magic, which was underground, also had a similar spell on its windows. It took me the better half of the day to figure out how to work it, however, but at the end, I managed to get some version of the spell going at the far end of the bunker. Remus had managed to widen out the secret passageway enough to squeeze Buckbeak through as well.
As evening fell, Remus and I had stopped to put together a last-night dinner together to celebrate. It had been a lot of fun, with the four of us putting our heads together to fill up the remainder of Harry's Divination "Dream Diary".
"Say that a wolf and a dog approached you and you chose to follow the dog," Sirius suggested.
"But then at the end of the dream, you found out that it was just a cat wearing a dog costume," I interjected.
"What d'you think that might mean?" Remus asked interestedly.
"Dunno. Probably that you'll get your face clawed off in the near future," Harry replied, dutifully turning over the pages of his textbook.
After dinner, I slipped back down to the bunker, trying to see if there was anything I could do.
"You should get some rest. You've done enough for the room."
I turned around to see Sirius standing at the foot of the stairs.
I beckoned to him. He came to me a little warily, wanting to have me come out of the room rather than getting drawn in himself. He approached me from behind, expecting me to turn around so that he could pull me away. But I didn't turn around right away. All day, as I'd did this and that to the room, I'd been feeling increasingly guilty at leaving Sirius behind.
"I've stuffed the cupboard over there with food, water, Potions, and bandages," I informed him. "Can you think of anything else you might need?"
Sirius shook his head. "Love, I'm just trying to survive, not live like a king." He reached his arm out for me, but I subtly shifted away from him. Of course, it was not subtle enough for Sirius.
"Lynx?"
"Hm?"
"Why are you avoiding me?"
"I'm not."
"You sure about that?"
"Yes," I said half-heartedly.
He caught me around the waist. I struggled a bit, but not really as he reeled me in like some strange octopus he'd fished out of the waters.
"What's going on? Have you booby-trapped the room? Am I going to be finding all kinds of senseless and tasteless pranks in here once you're gone?" he asked me.
I broke and laughed a little at this. "No," I replied. "Although, maybe I should have done that. It would have been a good defense. I imagine that all the more serious Aurors would all be confused to hell by Whoopie Cushions."
Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "What's a Whoopie Cushion?"
"Oh, a Muggle joke thing that lets out farting noises when you step or sit on it," I replied.
"Right. Very sophisticated," he praised me, barely keeping from rolling his eyes. He half-pulled and half-dragged me up the stairs.
"Time for you to pack, Professor Kingsley," he said, dragging a very unwilling me into my room.
"I don't want to pack," I replied sullenly. "I don't want to think about leaving you here." I paused, and then bit my lower lip. I hadn't meant to say that out loud.
Sirius had fallen silent. I looked up at him. Though he kept his expression neutral, I saw his eyes darken. Feeling strangely emotional about all of this, I blurted out, "Should I stay with you?"
Sirius knelt down besides me. "Hmm, an interesting proposition…"
He looked me squarely in the eyes and said, "But no. You've got to stay by Harry's side. The fact that you and Dumbledore are with him at Hogwarts makes me able to breathe… It compensates a little for the frustration I feel in not being able to go myself."
His eyes fell to my lecture notes, piled up besides my briefcase. "Besides," he said quietly, "I want you to keep teaching Runes. I'm so proud of you, Lynx. Your magic is stunning."
I found myself speechless. No one had ever said that about my magic. In fact, no one had ever complimented my magic before.
"Do you mean that?" I found myself asking. "You really think Runes magic means something?"
Sirius was a little confused by the question. "Well, yeah," he said. He shrugged and clarified, "I mean, I never took it, so who am I to judge it? But how could it not be, given the way you use it?"
I smiled. I leaned forward and grasping the collar of his shirt, I pressed my lips against his. He returned my kiss, but chuckled softly, and said, "What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"
"Not that I mind," he said quickly. "Was the way to your heart to compliment Runic magic? Merlin, I wish I'd known that before. It would've saved me years of time."
Smiling, I wrapped my arms around his neck. He grasped my waist with one arm, holding me tight against him.
"Love, you should pack," he murmured.
"I'm not going to pack," I retorted, and then our lips met again. In the middle of our kissing, we somehow found ourselves falling back onto the floor, with me on top of him. Sirius reached out and his hand absently roamed the floor for a minute before he grasped his wand. He tried to perform one of those quick, sweeping packing spells that packed everything at once. Impressively, all of intended luggage did manage to get inside my suitcase, but it was a total mess.
"You're terrible at organizing magic," I murmured against his lips.
"I know," Sirius groaned, and I wasn't sure if he was groaning because we were pressed so tightly against each other or because he really was disappointed at his somewhat unsuccessful organization spell. "What will we do with mismatched socks?" he teased me. "How will you ever have a career as a professor with two different socks on your feet?"
I laughed lightly, but I quickly turned breathless as Sirius let go of his wand and then had both his hands traveled down my sides and gripped my hips.
"On second thought," he muttered, "don't go. Forget Runes."
"What changed your mind?" I asked him, smiling. "I thought you were proud of me for teaching Runes."
"I am proud of you, but I'm not finished with you yet, not even close," he murmured, and drew me in to kiss me again.
A few minutes passed in a quiet, sweet silence where we continued to just hold and kiss each other, pressed up against each other on the floor.
My eyes became wet at the thought of having to leave him tomorrow, and not being able to see him every day, or even every week. Yes, I knew that life was much bigger than just your partner. I was a professor at Hogwarts, and I did want to be by Harry's side at all times, especially with everything going on, but I so wanted Sirius. And I wasn't young enough or naïve enough to hide it anymore. I'd wasted so much time – all of my teens and twenties, too afraid to be vulnerable. I still struggled with it, especially in front of Sirius, because I cared what he thought about me, but I couldn't afford to be shy the way I used to be.
"I'm going to save you," I promised him, the guilt finally bleeding through with the overwhelming tenderness I was experiencing for and from him.
"I know, love," Sirius said softly. "I know." He caught my lips in another warm, slow, but passionate kiss – tasting each other, loving each other. We only broke apart when we had to, for air. But we stayed together, our lips still grazing each other's. Time flowed away, and we didn't care to stop it anymore. We weren't so arrogant as to pretend that we could stop it or mold it to our will. But we did spend every moment we had with each other desperately, knowing that it was fast running out.
Then, with our lips still pressed together, I heard Sirius breath out quietly, "I love you."
I paused. I wasn't even sure if he was aware that he'd said it.
"What?" he said, immediately anxious as he felt me stiffen and draw away slightly.
I shook my head at him a little. "You just said..."
"What?" he pressed. He quickly added, "If I said something strange-"
"It wasn't strange. You told me that you… you loved me," I said quietly.
"Oh," Sirius said. He raised an eyebrow. "Well, why is this time any different? I'm sure we've said that to each other loads to times at this point."
"Actually, I think that's the first time one of us has said that," I said, thinking back.
"Really?" Sirius said, frowning. A moment later, he realized that I was right. "I said it first? Damn it."
"What do you mean 'damn it'?" I said indignantly, breaking the quiet, sweet moment.
Sirius smiled at my annoyed expression. He nudged me with his shoulder. "Well, then," he said. "Say it back."
"It's only polite," he remarked, but underneath his light-hearted remark, I could sense a slight tension as he waited for me to reply.
I looked down at him, intending to look at him sternly. But the way he was waiting for me to say it back reminded me not of the the full-grown bear-like dog that he transformed into, but some puppy version. I suddenly wondered if his Animagus form had ever had to go through a puppy stage. At the very thought of it, I laughed out loud.
"What?" Sirius said, not understanding what was going on in my head.
"I thought of something…" I murmured, still laughing softly.
"What?" he repeated, a bit sullenly a moment later when I still hadn't responded.
Seeing his somewhat irritated face, I smiled. Then, I pushed myself up off of the ground and gently sat on top of Sirius, my legs on either side of him. Leaning forward, I put my hands on his chest and then kissed his collarbone, his neck, and his jaw. Between kisses, I kept murmuring, "I love you, I love you, I love you." He tried to reach up and touch my face, but I grasped his wrists and pinned them down on either side of his head and continued to kiss his neck, working my way up to his cheek. Finally, letting go of his wrists and touching his face, I kissed him gently on the lips and then pulled away, gazing down on him.
He was looking up at me, slightly wide-eyed.
I paused and cocked my head at him. "Does that compensate for you saying it first?" I teased.
He shook his head slightly. Then, he cleared his throat and said, "Erm, would you mind getting off of me, love? I'm going to go for some water."
"Sure," I said, and slid off to the side, falling onto the floor with my legs curled up on one side.
He got up from the floor. With his fingers distractedly grazing his neck and murmuring something to himself, he left the room.
When he left, I fell back against the bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering if that had been too much – too mushy, as it were. As the embarrassment caught up to me, I rolled over onto the bed, wrapping myself in the blankets. I smushed my face into one of the pillows, laughing a little as I slowly became embarrassed, but also because I had enjoyed myself and had fun.
Nobody's POV
Sirius walked out into the kitchen. Remus and Harry looked up at him.
Sirius walked past both of them without a word, fetched a glass, and then opened the refrigerator. But instead of pulling the water out of the refrigerator, he absent-mindedly put the glass into the refrigerator. He shut it before he realized what he had done, and quickly opened it again.
At the sound of the refrigerator opening so quickly after it had been shut, Remus looked over his shoulder. "Pads?"
"Hm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Water. Getting water."
"Well, you can't drink it if your cup's in the fridge, can you?" Remus said.
Sirius looked down to see that he'd pulled out the water jug, but he had left the cup behind. "Right. Not to worry, Moony, it's an easy fix," Sirius said, opening the refrigerator to get his cup. He put the cup down on the table and poured himself water.
"Sirius?" Harry said, looking up at his godfather with a perplexed face. "Did something happen?"
"Nope," Sirius said lightly. There was an awkward silence as he gulped down all of his water in a few seconds.
"Harry?" Sirius asked, lifting the water jug, and nodding at him.
"No, thanks," Harry said quickly.
Sirius put the cup and water jug away.
By now, Remus and Harry were trading bemused looks with each other.
Suddenly, Sirius piped up, "Hey, has anyone feed Buckbeak today? I should do-"
"I will do that," Remus interjected, getting up at once. "I don't want you to feed him the tongs instead of the ferret."
Taking Remus' chair, Sirius sat across from Harry. "What are you working on?"
"Herbology," Harry replied. "Lupin was helping me with some last-minute problems I got stuck on."
"I didn't realize Moony knew anything about Herbology," Sirius said, mildly impressed.
"Er, we're still on question one of four, to be honest," Harry replied. "I think I'll just ask Hermione on the train tomorrow."
Sirius grinned. Then, he asked, "Are you excited to go back to Hogwarts?"
Harry thought about his reply. As he did, Raylynx walked into the kitchen. She paused, as Harry began to answer, "Normally, I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts. As soon as summer vacation begins, I just count down the days until I'm back, to be honest. But after this summer, I think it's the first time I'm a bit sad to go back to Hogwarts."
"Raylynx will be there with you," Sirius said, nodding towards me.
"Yes, but she's a Professor there," Harry replied.
"What does that mean?" Raylynx asked, frowning.
"I mean, I can't just go up to you and- and-" Harry struggled to articulate what he was saying.
Sirius cut in smoothly. "What Harry is saying is that he likes me better, Lynx."
"No," Raylynx negated immediately. "Me."
"Well, look at that," Sirius said in mock-surprise. "The kid's right there."
He turned to Harry and asked straightforwardly, "Harry, who do you like better?"
Remus, who had just returned from feeding Buckbeak, broke in sternly, "You cannot ask that question, Sirius!"
Harry's face was a bit flushed. Sirius and Raylynx both broke into a laugh.
"We're just teasing you, Harry," Raylynx assured him. "And you should always feel free to come up to me at Hogwarts. I don't care that I'm a Professor. Neither should you."
Raylynx turned to walk away when she spotted something out-of-place. "Who left the water jug in the sink?" she asked.
Sirius' expression suddenly became as smooth as glass.
Raylynx grasped the water jug by the handle. Moving around Sirius, who was quite still, she opened the fridge and made to put it away when she paused again. "And why is there an empty cup in here?" she murmured, confused.
Behind her, Harry snorted with laughter.
Raylynx replaced the cup with the jug and put the cup in the sink before turning around to see Harry laughing. "What?" she said, feeling foolish herself, and not noticing Sirius' carefully aloof expression besides her. "Is this a prank?" Raylynx asked. "I must say, Remus, your standards have fallen since your Hogwarts days."
Remus raised an eyebrow, but he didn't say anything. When Harry looked at him questioningly, Remus shook his head lightly.
"Speaking of Hogwarts, I really should pack now," Raylynx said. She left the kitchen.
Harry turned to Remus and asked in a quiet voice, "Why didn't you say it was Sirius?"
"We should save Sirius his dignity where we can, don't you think?" Remus replied.
Harry grinned, as Sirius let out a soft scoff behind them.
Raylynx's POV
On Platform 9¾, I helped Harry get his trunk into the luggage car.
"Thanks for your help, Professor," Harry said. Some of the students were looking at us with interest, making Harry blush.
"Right, then. I'll stop embarrassing you," I said. "Let's go and find Hermione and Ron, and I'll leave you three be."
We made our way through the crowd, until we finally came across a brilliantly red-haired family. I scanned the family for Arthur, but I didn't see him. I spotted Bill and Charlie along with everyone else, but I didn't see Mr. Weasley. I did, however, spot Molly.
"Molly!" I said, raising my hand at her.
She turned to see me. "Oh, Raylynx." I made my way over to her.
"Good to see you, my girl!" she said, hugging me.
I hugged her back and said, "Thank you."
"Are you all right?" I asked her. "Did you have to get this lot over here all by yourself this morning? Where's Arthur?"
"He was called away on business early this morning," she informed me.
"On business? You mean work for the Ministry?"
Molly nodded. Drawing me in closer, she said, "Apparently, Alastor thought he heard an intruder in his yard, and promptly set his dustbins off to attack him."
"Alastor? Mad-Eye Moody?" I repeated in a hushed voice.
"Not to worry. I'm sure he'll still turn up as your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," she told me comfortingly. She patted me on the back as she said, "Arthur and Amos are working on it now, trying to smooth it all out."
She was called away by Ginny at that moment, leaving me standing there. I spotted Harry, Ron, and Hermione getting onto the train. I wouldn't join them. I had decided to Apparate myself to Hogwarts, eager to save time. But as I stood there, watching the Hogwarts Express pull off and waving to Harry, who grinned back sheepishly as he knew he would see me in just a few hours, I couldn't help but feel a pool of worry gather in my stomach. Alastor was attacked the day he was supposed to come to Hogwarts? In my mind, this was certainly not the most auspicious of beginnings for Harry's fourth year.
