Insert that Vegan Teacher's "Oh my fucking god" meme
Sonic was invited to a gala hosted by the city of Westopolis. Sonic knew it was probably a trap but he couldn't pass up the chance to show up in his snazzy new suit, sans the pants of course. Because he's a guy, and obviously you can't see his cock swinging about in the air...no way.
Sonic glanced around the bathroom to check for anything he may need.
"Let's see...hmm...condoms...XL condoms...Knuckles-sized condoms...ah! My chili dog scented cologne! Bitches loves chili dogs, am I right? Hahaha! Ha..."
Sonic spritzes the cologne all around him, especially his crotch and up his ass because bitches love it when they slob on his knob or deep in his boochie. (Bussy and coochie)
The blue hero looks out the window into the sunset and sighs, "Man...I remember when I was just this innocent, laidback hedgehog that had no conception of sex whatsoever. Before Sega fired me because I wasn't with it like the cool people...like...Paris Hilton. Man she's so cool and cute, and probably extremely racist, like Silver, that silly white cracker hedgehog..."
Sonic takes one final spray on his cock for the road and exits his room with a spring in his step, ready to seduce the fine men and women of the gala knowing full well he's probably run into trouble anyways. He also took a few condoms with him for just in case he enlists the 'help' of Knuckles or perhaps Vector?
But then he'll have to deal with that annoying dweeb Charmy Bee who he sometimes wishes that the bee would sting someone and kill himself, but since Sonic's still a hero obviously he keeps it to himself.
Walking downstairs he finds Tails sitting on the couch in his full gangbanging outfit drinking lean and smoking copious amounts of weed.
"Hey there little buddy, how's the gangster phase going?"
The fox scoffs, "Get that goofy ahh suit out of my house before I blast you in the face with my 9mm like the rest of my opps."
Sonic chuckles, "Oh, you cute little goofball you! Don't stay up too late and get a tummyache from too much booze and weed!"
Tails grumbles, "I'm finna shove a bullet up your ass..."
The blue hedgehog runs at top speed right towards the gala, slicing clean through a few bystanders in the process.
Arriving at the gala Sonic adjust his bow tie and giggles, "Oh man, I'm going to score so much coochie tonight!"
Inside the City Hall's conference room loud hip-hop music played in the background as the distinguished guests of the region danced in their suits and dresses.
"Ah yes, music of culture." Sonic says to himself as he makes his way inside.
Sonic finds Amy chatting with another guest of the gala and he saunters his way over to her, "Hey there Ames, your ass is looking mighty fat in that dress of yours."
Amy turns to him and giggles, "Sonic! You always know how to make an entrance!"
The blue hedgehog smirks, "What can I say babe? I got the moves, the rizz, the shabadoo..."
"What does shabadoo mean?" Amy asked confused.
Sonic shrugs, "I don't know, it's some sort of Gen Alpha slang that's in the comment section of Paw Patrol."
He then wraps his arm around hers, "Shall we my lady? I believe they're playing Ice Spice."
"Oh, I love Ice Spice!"
Sonic grins, "This song reminds me of you Ames..."
"Deli" by Ice Spice plays in the background.
The two hedgehogs danced gracefully to the song.
Sonic whispers into her ear, "If things are calm tonight, how about I slide my absolutely ginormous slab of meat deep inside that juicy calm of yours?"
Amy giggles bashfully and fans herself, "S-Sonic!"
"I won't even use a condom, I'm going to leave a nice full load deep inside that future home of Sonic Jr." Sonic whispers as his hand sneaks up inside Amy's dress.
Amy shudders, "I-It's been my lifelong dream to have your baby Sonic..."
"And it was my dream to have Shadow's, but I don't have the rings to afford a vaginoplasty." Sonic mutters.
The pink hedgehog sighs, "Shadow did accidentally knock me up a few weeks ago, but I drank too much that night and it killed both my egg cell and a few of my brain cells."
Sonic lifts an eyebrow, "Really? How bad was it?"
"I had like...a bottle of tequila and some shots of Dom Perignon."
"Hmm...what is the best Sonic game in history?" Sonic asked now curious to see the damage.
Amy smiles happily, "Sonic 2006 of course!"
Sonic laughs, "Damn, you really did drop down a few points."
He slaps her ass, "But hey...I love dumb girls."
"Thanks...I love dumber boys." Amy replied back as she leans closer to him.
Sonic and Amy share an amorous kiss as the other gala guests continue to dance or gawk at them.
Sonic's gloved finger slips inside Amy's femininity making her gasp, "S-Sonic..."
"That's right, you're about to feel something almost as big soon enough..."
The music stops and one of the city officials walks up to the stage, "Ahem, I am pleased to welcome our sponsor and VIP of the gala, Dr. Robotnik!"
"OH GOD DAMN IT!" Sonic shouted at the top of his lungs as Eggman walks up to the stage.
"Thank you local man. Greetings, I am Dr. Robotnik, I am this city's Iron Man, without the drug problem and Hollywood trying to suck my cock for more Marvel movies."
Sonic groans and grabs a bottle of champagne, "He's going to pull a Joker on us isn't he?"
Eggman walks up with his arms behind his back, "As you may know, I have been working on a project that will benefit all of human and Mobian kind. A suction device that will pleasure even the largest of men!"
The crowd looks at each other in confusion.
"And women too of course, it is 2023 after all. Except for transgenders, they disgust me with their 'science' and 'evidence'."
The crowd cheers in agreement.
Sonic rolls his eyes, "Great...just because Shadow fucked his wife and him at the same time doesn't mean you get to treat marginalized communities with such poor taste."
Amy nods, "I agree, the transgender community deserves our utmost respect!"
Sonic turns to him, "Enough words babe, you're only here to look pretty and give it up to me."
The pink hedgehog giggles, "You're right Sonic! Silly me!"
Sonic sighs as Eggman continues his speech and goes back to fingering Amy discreetly, "Well, at least after I clean his clock, you can clean my cock."
"Please. I can pleasure you better than that fat bitch ever could."
Metal Sonic arrives shoving the gala guests out of the way.
Amy growls, "Fat bitch? I'll have you know I'm 3 pounds underweight!"
Sonic shrugs, "By video game standards that means you are kind of fat."
Metal Sonic stamps closer to Sonic, "Allow me to pleasure that sweet thick hog between your legs Sonic the Hedgehog."
Sonic didn't know whether to laugh or be aroused by Metal Sonic's robotic voice, "Oh yeah? How are you going to do that?"
Metal Sonic pulls out a fleshlight in clear view of everyone else, "I can pump you at a rate of 300 pumps per minute."
Sonic glances over at Amy, "Well...he's got you beat there Amy."
The pink hedgehog pulls out her hammer, "I'm smash that robot into little pieces!"
"I can discover new ways to make Sonic the Hedgehog beg for more of my activities." Metal Sonic responded as his metal hand brushes Sonic's emerging cock.
"Hey guys, we can fight over this later. And Metal Sonic, those sweet, hard robot hands will have their chance later alright? But since we still live with prudes we can't fuck on top of the banquet table with the others watching." Sonic explained.
"Oh, and by design, if Sonic sticks his diminutive rat ding a ling into the suction device, it will teeth like someone blowing for the first time in college!" Eggman loudly announced.
"OH SCREW YOU EGGBITCH!" Sonic shouted back.
Sonic turns to Amy, "I know he didn't take inspiration from you, but you gotta up your suck game."
"But, how do I get better?"
The blue hero winks, "Watch from a pro...me. Who's has the juiciest fattest cock here?"
Eggman briefly raises his hand, "NOT YOU FATASS!"
Eggman lowers it.
An eagle Mobian walks up to Sonic, "I can safely lay claim to this boast!"
Sonic raises an eyebrow, "Who...are you?"
"I'm Soar the Eagle, you know...from Bygone Island?"
Sonic groans, "Oh god, you're from that Sonic Boom TV show, holy shit..."
The eagle slams his massive cock onto the banquet table, smashing a plate of food beneath it, "Impressive enough for you?"
Metal Sonic quickly scans it with his laser eyes, "According to my measurements, Soar the Eagle is 31.345932-"
"Can the nerd stuff, use freedom units like what I was designed to recognize." Sonic cut off.
"Soar the Eagle is 12 inches long." Metal quickly corrects.
Sonic shrugs, "Good enough. Anyways, watch and learn Amy, there's a reason why people on the internet call me Soniconda!"
Amy watches with both awe but also horror as Sonic unhinges his jaw and slithers inch after girthy inch of eagle cock into his mouth, making the crowd around them gasp and mutter at Sonic's ability to suck such a large member.
"Hey! Don't you want to know what I'm going to do next after my Succ-a-matic?" Eggman exclaimed.
The conference room was mostly silent expect for some quiet muttering from the crowd and loud slurping and sucking noises coming Sonic.
The announcer himself zipped down his fly to pull out his own cock, biting his lip from arousal as he watched the Hero of Mobius suck the soul out of Soar, "My goodness, such a display of manly prowess..."
Eggman groans, "I'm surrounded by idiots..."
As Sonic was licking up and down Soar's cock Metal Sonic snuck one of his metal fingers inside of Sonic's donut hole, making the blue hedgehog shudders, "C-Cold!"
"My apologies, I'll switch on the heated finger feature." Metal said as his digit slid deeper inside of Sonic.
Sonic twitched with each movement of Metal Sonic's finger inside of his anus.
Not to be outdone, Amy joined in by sucking on Sonic's cock.
"A-Ames! Teeth!"
"Sorry..."
Sonic's mind was overwhelmed by sucking off Soar, being fingered by Metal Sonic, and being sucked off by Amy to notice that Eggman has activated and summoned his badnik army into the conference room, causing chaos shortly after.
Soar groaned loudly as his feathered hands grasped the banquet table beneath him, "I-I'm about t-to..."
Sonic suddenly felt a surge of eagle sperm flood his mouth, causing him to spit out Soar's cock, which resulted in some of Soar's cum to fly through the air and land on a few badniks, causing them to malfunction as the seminal fluids seeped inside the machines.
"NO!" Eggman exclaimed as Soar continued to ring more shots of his seed onto the robots.
Sonic smirks, "That's it! Everyone! You wanna save the day with me? Drop those pants and start jerking off like your life depends on it!"
The crowd instantly gets to work, fingering and rubbing themselves silly as the whole room was filled with the harmonious sounds of people moaning and crying out in pleasure.
Not too long after some of the crowd already started cumming all over the robots, causing them to seize from the fluids.
"You dirty rat, how dare you use your bodily functions to destroy my possessions!" Eggman yelled.
Sonic grins, "Sorry Doctor Doofus, but you invited me to the gala, and I make it my business to cum!"
The blue hedgehog grabs Amy and bends her over the table, "Sorry Ames, but all these people jerking off is getting me too excited to contain it."
Amy merely nods and smiles as she lifts her dress and shakes her ass, "Go for it!"
Sonic instantly slams his cock right inside of Amy, and gets right into the rhythm of thrusting as Metal Sonic assists by continuing his fingering of the blue hero.
Soar finally finished his orgasm after delivering at least half a gallon of his cum all over the robots and the floor, "Goodness gracious, that was quite the spell!"
Metal Sonic pulls his finger out of Sonic and turns to Soar, "Shall I assist you with another orgasm?"
Soar shrugs, "I don't see why not?"
The robot ripoff of Sonic opens a hatch where his crotch was and a huge metal rod quickly extends out, "Activating full penetration mode."
The eagle gulps, "H-How are you larger than me?"
Metal grabs Soar and pins him to the floor to bend him over and drives his rod deep inside of the eagle, "O-Oh! B-By the gods!"
Soon, there was so much cum and coochie juice on the floor that some of the crowd began slipping on it. Eggman was enraged by the failure of his plan to both get the audience to cheer for his suction device and also to destroy Sonic.
"You have not seen the last of me, you rotten rodent!" Eggman yells at the top of his lungs before running off, only to slip on cum and land head first into a banana creampie.
Sonic meanwhile wails in pleasure as he pins Amy firmly onto the table and unleashes his load deep inside of her, "F-Fuck! Mmm...gods it's warm..."
Amy's eyes roll back as her whole body shakes, "Y-Yes Sonic, give me your baby!"
Sonic pulls out of Amy and some shots of his cum flies onto the cake, "Mmm...that was totally radical..."
The blue hedgehog takes a slice of the cake and eats it, feeling his warm cum mix well with the cake and frosting, "Talk about a high-protein dessert, heh..."
Metal Sonic was ruthlessly efficient with getting Soar to orgasm again, making the eagle cry out as huge shots of his cum pour onto the ground.
Sonic smirks at Metal, "Wow, you are some kind of wunderkind..."
Metal pulls his rod out of Soar and retracts it inside of his compartment, "Once I discovered Soar's g-spot, it was a matter of applying maximum pressure at a high enough speed to overwhelm his nervous system."
Sonic winks and gives Metal a thumbs-up, "Well, since you don't seem to work for Egghead anymore, why not join Team Sonic? I polish that rod of yours anytime you want."
Metal nods, "I find your offer most appealing, I will accept the terms."
Amy groans and shakily stands back up as Sonic's cum leaks out of her pussy, "D-Did we win?"
Sonic looked around seeing the twitching badniks covered in fluids, "Seems like it. We did it team!"
The blue hedgehog then walks to Soar and helps him up, "Sorry I didn't swallow it all, I think all those badniks tripped me up."
Soar smiles, "It's no problem, you certainly did a better job of fellatio than the Sonic back at Bygone Island did."
"Boom Sonic? I thought he was a virgin and that's why he's so...miserable." Sonic questioned.
"On the set yes, but off set, he works as an escort to pay for bills since he's not as desired by the media as you and Classic Sonic."
Sonic chuckled, "Fair enough. Anyways, I better head to the dry cleaners and drop off this suit since it's all sticky and stained. Ames, you take a break too, you did pretty good today as support."
"Thank you Sonic!" Amy said as she straightened her dress and quills.
Sonic turns to the crowd, "And thank you fine citizens of Westopolis for cooperating with me tonight! You did very well in sabotaging Egghead's plan by dousing his lousy machines in your immaculate ejaculate!"
The crowd cheers.
I wrote this in record time, and it shows lol
