Chapter 27: My Love

Wolffe started to get worried when Ryn didn't leave in the first few hours of her solitude in the General's quarters. With so much of the wolfpack gone, they could finally have some privacy, but instead she spent the entire time in isolation. He spent most of his time outside that room unless Spitter was there to relieve him of his duty for a bit. He just hoped that she was eating and drinking in there, though he knew that the General never drank. It was a Kel Dor thing. Though, he hopefully had food in his quarters considering that it was the only place he could eat. Spitter had joked that the Jedi could look after herself, but he knew just as well as most of the wolfpack, she was Wolffe's girl. They were all clones of the same man. There was no way to really keep a secret like that from them. Though, apart from a comment here or there, nobody talked about it. Everyone understood the consequences if it was discovered and all trusted that their brothers would have the same discretion if they were the one lucky enough to get a girl. Or a guy. Despite being identical and all sharing more chance things like their handedness, the full spectrum of sexuality existed within standard clones. Maker, some were even attracted to weird species like Ithorians, though, he'd never found a vod that got turned on by Geonosians.

Still, Wolffe wasn't sure what kind of Jedi stuff would stop her from leaving a room for two and a half days. Then the extra half a day once General Plo had returned. Something had happened on Flax, and she couldn't trust him with it. With what they'd gone through in their short time together, Wolffe had hoped she could do it. He would fix this. Or, at least, he hoped he would.

Doryn had been sat there, on the floor of Master Plo's room for an amount of time. Then the amount of time was longer and then again it got longer. Eventually Master Plo entered the room. If he spoke before sitting, then she didn't take notice. "I need guidance, Master." She didn't open her eyes, but she felt out to him in the Force.

Plo Koon had received the warning that she'd locked herself in his quarters for two and a half days. She should've felt hungry and thirsty but all he could feel from her was contemplation. He also felt a little evil presence on her person. "What is it, my Padawan?"

Guilt overcame her as she looked up to her Master and fished the kyber out of her pocket. "It was- It called to me." It was a deep red like her hair. She couldn't meet his eyes, or the anti-ox covers over them. She'd tried so hard with her new Master and had even convinced herself for some time that she wasn't broken. This was physical evidence that she was still broken. She was still wrong inside. "This upsets you, Padawan."

"Of course, it does." She screamed at him. She couldn't help it. It was just all proof that she was evil inside and wrong. "I want to be a Jedi. I want to do good." She choked her words out. Her eyes watered, but she couldn't cry really. It was an imitation she'd learnt from being around humans and near-humans her whole life. She'd only ever met maybe one other Cathar in passing. She was wrong, from her biology to her soul. "Padawan." He tried to soothe her with a taloned hand on her shoulder, but she flinched away from the comfort. "This crystal is asking you to heal it." She slowly thought about his words. She knew kyber crystals were sentient to a degree and chose their Jedi, but she'd never heard of something like this. "Heal it?" Plo nodded and went on to explain how a kyber crystal even ended up red. How a Sith would pour pain into it and make it bleed. How the crystal was never the Sith's own crystal. The perverse use of the Force wasn't easy to hear, but necessary.

"I'm not ready."

"You will be, in time."

Maybe she didn't need to be scared of it. If it truly wanted her to heal it, it couldn't be that evil. And Master Plo seemed to think it was okay. Though, she didn't know how she'd supposedly be ready to do something she'd never heard of or known a Jedi to do.

Both Jedi went back to meditating for another unknown amount of time.

"Wolffe is waiting for you. You need to go eat, little Ryn." She could feel the slight suggestion at compulsion through his words, but no real push. Still, she was quite hungry for some reason and stood to go, leaving the crystal with her Master. "Take the crystal, it's yours." So she obeyed her Master and left his quarters with the crystal. A third crystal which would go with her always.

She looked like she was working something out as she left General Plo's quarters. Wolffe noticed the way she'd do tiny squints in thought as she approached him. Her fur seemed a little dull and so did her eyes. She also didn't seem to be able to walk in a straight line. It wasn't too wobbly, but she definitely needed to eat. He didn't care who might see what, she wasn't okay, and he needed to step in. He stepped toward her, which she didn't seem to notice and hoisted her up into his arms like after that night at 79's. "Wolffe?" She'd not even realised she was being lifted until she was already securely in his arms.

Doryn didn't really argue with Wolffe as he carried her away from the direction of their rooms and toward the cafeteria. Though, she did share her thoughts on the fact that she should be allowed to walk. Firstly, it was the fact that she most definitely could walk, no matter how much Wolffe said she was too unstable. Secondly, the ship was back relatively busy with Wolffe's brothers everywhere. He shushed her on that second point. "Cyare, they know." He sounded a little defeated as he admitted that. "C'mon." He shifted the arm behind her back, nudging her into his plastoidless chest. She cuddled into his warmth. So maybe the entire battalion did know. Maybe that worked to her advantage.

Ryn seemed to accept her place in his arms. At least she settled and let him take her until he deposited her on a chair in the cafeteria before grabbing two trays for them both. By the time he'd gotten the food and started to walk back to where he'd left her, one of her lightsabers was in pieces. It was the one she'd said used to be her old Master's. The one she never dared mess with was now in pieces and a little green crystal floated a little ways away from her face. She was so concentrated on it. "I thought it would be bigger." Wolffe thought the best way to get her attention was that joke. He set the trays down on the table and took the seat next to Ryn. She followed him with her eyes but stayed relatively still otherwise.

"This kyber crystal started its life as clear and see-through as every kyber crystal." Doryn turned her head to Wolffe to make sure he was following along. She let the kyber gently come to her palm. "They gain their colour when a Jedi bonds with them and leaves a trace of themselves within the crystal." She closed her fist around the stone before taking a deep breath in and then out. "So, a trace of my old Master exists within this crystal."

"That isn't what you found." Wolffe interjected without thinking. He couldn't stand her longwinded way to explain something adjacent to the issue but that wasn't the issue at all. The issue she couldn't trust him with. He knew that she could probably sense his annoyance, but he couldn't shove it to the side like a Jedi. "Wolffe, I do trust you. It's just..." She had felt it. Of course, she had. Though she hadn't been short with him as he'd sort of expected. She was quick to annoyance usually, yet she seemed so removed now. She took something from her pocket before presenting it to him in the palm without the green rock. "A crystal called to me. It wants to be mine, but it has already been claimed by a Sith." That was something Wolffe didn't know how to react to. Maybe it was right that she'd waited to tell him. "You can't have 3 lightsabers." Wolffe needed to know the next steps of the situation. To him, it would make more sense to just get rid of it or destroy it. He didn't want it hurting Ryn.

She looked down to the deconstructed lightsaber and pushed its kyber crystal back toward it before using the Force to reconstruct it. "This lightsaber was never mine. I need to let go of Master Tassu, eventually." She sighed. She wasn't ready to let go of her old Master yet. His body no longer existed, and he'd long been part of the Force, yet she'd found a way to cling to him. He'd given her that tool to cling to him.

Wolffe pushed the reconstructed lightsaber to the side before pulling a tray in front of Ryn. "Eat." It was a simple instruction and all he needed to say to get her to comply. He slowly ate his own food as he kept his eyes on her, as if she'd use some type of deception to avoid eating. She started to eat slowly but quickly started to pick up the pace until she finished and Wolffe pushed his mostly untouched tray over to her. Despite how hungry she obviously was, she still went to protest. "I ate just before the General came back." He made sure to leave out the part where that took half of a standard rotation. That wouldn't help anyone. That convinced her to eat. Wolffe supposed that she'd been so worried that she hadn't perceived time right. He'd had the same, though he'd confused seconds and minutes, not moments and days. She also managed to consume two full canteens of water during the two trays of food. It was impressive, though understandable. Wolffe supposed that he'd be just as ravenous, if not more, if he hadn't eaten in that long. Eventually, she drank another canteen and ate another half portion while Wolffe managed to get half of a meal and his canteen of water. Wolffe didn't mind too much, but he'd certainly felt hunger start to come up. He'd probably come eat again when she was asleep. He was a clone after all, and with the enhancements came an extra need for fuel.

Despite the revelation that, yes, all of the clones knew that Wolffe and Doryn were together, they walked together like a Jedi and a clone. Doryn had seen people that had tied themselves together walk around holding hands and she did have the same desire to have physical contact with him. The issue was that it seemed unnatural to her. It wasn't like she was leading him somewhere unknown; he knew where her room was on the Triumphant (II) as well as he knew where his own was. So, they were to their base components, Jedi and clone.

Doryn was pleased that it was her room that they'd gone to. Her room on this flagship-venator was just as lacking in substantial personalisation, but her mattress was much comfier, and her bed was away from the wall. The only disturbance that could be caused was to the room below which just happened to be a fuel tank. Still, she just wanted to spend time with him. It was rare that they got to.

"I thought we were meant to be a few days ahead of Master Plo returning." She'd been thinking it for a bit but only said it when she was flopped down on her bed. Even if everyone knew they were 'secretly' dating, they still had to maintain other secrets as Commanders (even if she refused to actually be called one). "We were." Wolffe sat beside her when he revealed that. He took off his boots before sliding further back onto the bed. Doryn had been expecting some intel on something going wrong of Thustra like the Sephi refusing Republic help, but it seemed like it had all gone fine. She could feel the face she pulled when she sat up and looked to Wolffe. "But that would mean I was meditating for a few days." She didn't get a response. Not a verbal one anyway. She just got a look that told her that she was lucky he liked her so much and was handed another full canteen of water.

Eventually they ended up cuddling like two slices of a citrus fruit. Facing each other and curled around an invisible middle whilst stripped of all but their under-layers of protection. Doryn had wrapped her legs up in Wolffe's and her forehead laid against his chest. Her hands were bunched up against his stomach and one of his hands rested against her back after his arm got a little tired from stroking her. Doryn had slept for a bit. She'd realised it when she came to and noticed he'd stopped stroking her back at some point.

Her hands found his face and pushed herself back a little to look at him. There was one main thought in her head. She sighed. "At some point I'll have to heal it." She stroked a thumb over his cheek.

Wolffe snorted and a smile came to his face. "My eye? Bit late for that." He actually let out a laugh. He was so beautiful and the skin around his eyes crinkled as he laughed in her face. She loved it, though it did bruise her ego a bit. "I mean the crystal, di'kut." It was one of the few Mando'a words she'd picked up. Most of the words were insults thrown about by the men, though she'd also picked up on the little loving names Wolffe gave her. "You are mean, little tooka." She thoroughly protested being called that but did end up giving in to it. She would've scratched anyone else's eyes out, but Wolffe, as per usual, was the exception.

She ended up explaining it to Wolffe, how she'd heal the crystal. She knew some aspects of Jedi and the Force were lost on him. It's not like he was to understand something he'd never knowingly interacted with. She did worry about explaining to him what someone could do with the Force even if it was to a crystal. It could so easily be applied to his mind instead and she knew he'd work it out quickly. Still, she told him how she'd commune with it in the Force and eventually enter it. Apparently, to heal a crystal, one had to fight the Sith that existed within it. She had no clue which Sith was in her crystal. Which Sith had defiled it so thoroughly. What she didn't know was what she'd take into the crystal with her and whether she'd die if she lost to the Sith inside the crystal. These were both things she didn't explain and for Wolffe's sanity wouldn't.

Wolffe was quiet as she spoke and stayed quiet as he thought it over when she finished. She'd confirmed that she could enter things with her mind, and his only thought was now about how she could do that to him. He'd also noticed that she'd left out details of the fight's conditions. He didn't know if it was from her not knowing or from her not wanting to discuss it, but he just wanted to know the thing that'd taken over his mind. "Are you... able to do that to me?" He didn't want to fight or accuse her of anything, but he felt a little sick about it. Could she just sit inside his head and touch everything? Seeing his current thoughts were fine, he usually voiced them anyway, but there were things he wanted to stay his. Things that should only be known when he willed another to know them. "Yes." She sounded so guilty. "I did it once as a youngling."

"Once?"

She looked down at his chest. "It felt wrong..." She shook her head a little. It was slow, like facing something disgusting that you were still in denial about. "Invasive." She couldn't look at him. She just couldn't. Being a Jedi had made her feel horrid many times, though it'd always been things about her that seemed to go against what she should be as a Jedi. Now, it was what made a Jedi that made her feel like that.

She felt Wolffe's abrasive hand cup her chin like she was a flimsiplast figure. Like he wasn't put off by her Jedi abilities. Like he wasn't disgusted by her and still viewed her as his sweet beloved. His hand slowly pulled her face to confront his and gave her a simple caress with his thumb over her cheek and jaw. "Oh cyare. Ner pel cyar'ika." He shook his head at her a little, as if she was being silly with what she thought and felt. Maybe she was. If she was really so horrid, why was he being so sweet to her? He gave her a little kiss on her cheek and then her nose and forehead. This strong man was so soft for her, and he didn't even seem embarrassed by it. She couldn't help the smile that came to her face as he peppered little loving kisses all over her face. She let out a little giggle as he continued and began to teasingly protest a little. "Woooolffe."

"That's it, baby. Say my name." He teased into her ear. Both his open and trapped hands came to her hips. He pressed his fingers against her, working them into her, where he belonged. Her previously tangled legs quickly found themselves either side of Wolffe's form and anchoring him down. Ryn's quick movement left him on his back with her splayed over him. Her crotch a little further down his legs than his own. Not that he needed her there yet. With her positioning, Wolffe decided to sit up. He could feel the warm of her body through his body-glove and her undershirt.

For maybe an hour, they just kissed. It was quite passionate kissing, but it went no further. Wolffe's hands had stayed solidly on her hips, rubbing first over and then under the fabric. Doryn's arms had stayed on his shoulders, now and then stroking the back of his hair and working her fingers through it.

Wolffe eventually brought the rubbing down her legs 'til it came to the undersides of her knees. He pulled her slower to him by the insides of those joints and her heat was incidentally over his semi-hard length. She instinctively ground against it a little and gave his hair the smallest of tugs. Even if the tug had seemed to be an action of protest, she continued to work herself against the ever-hardening object below her. The kissing and anti-clockwise rubs ended up in time with one another. Likely due to Ryn being the mistress of both.

What Doryn had no control over were where the touches he gave her were. His hands had been touching her hips almost the entire time. All she could think of was feeling him flush against and inside of her. The way he gripped onto her as he mated her. Right now, she wanted to focus on the beauty of the man under her, but his insistence on keeping his hands in that spot was making it hard. Really, she just wanted him to ruin her and paint her insides with his seed. She wanted him to take her and for it to finally take.

His right hand started to move from her hip and inward, under the loose trousers and then her underwear. Oh, she wasn't getting mercy here. He was going to decimate her. His thumb came to her exposed nerve, whilst the tips of his fingers still managed to be hooked onto the side of her hip. The thumb started with teasingly gentle circles before amping it up to a firm, wet rub. She whimpered into his mouth as he worked her further and further. The contrast between the warm of his digit and the cold of the air hitting her slick skin was intoxicating. His lips removed themselves and dove into her the fur of her neck with passionate kisses and teasing bites. Her whimpers became sweet moans. Even just this felt amazing. She couldn't help but feel pathetic with how close she already was, but still she indulged in the tingles in her neck and in her groin joining in a knot around her diaphragm.

"Wolffe," she wanted to continue but a moan was forced out before she had the chance. Through the sighs and moans she finally got her words out. "You'll be the death of me." It seemed so effortless, the way he sent her into absolute bliss. It was like he had special control of her brain and could turn off all logical function to intensify the way he wanted her to feel and what he inflicted upon her. Eventually she came to her finish, whimpering his name.

In the daze of her passion, she tried to get her trousers off. Wolffe eventually helped her by lifting her up and seating her sideways on his lap. He also used the opportunity to remove the top of his black, not worrying about her finish (his badge of honour) staining his bottoms. She quickly got back in place, straddled over him, and started to paw at his blacks, hitting his hard length perfectly each time. Then she slipped his cock out of his blacks and slipped her panties to the side. They continued their make out session and Ryn slid down his length. The spent so long like that, her slowly riding him and them slowly making out. Achingly drawn-out pleasure. Hours of simply soaking in each other. Wolffe had gotten so close but pushed it away, not wanting it to end. When it eventually did, Ryn stayed in place, with his softening length still inside of her. She pushed him to lay down and cuddled up on his chest. He could feel little bits of his release almost fall out, always to somehow trigger her walls to clench and milk him again. Eventually, he hardened again but let her keep it warm and safe inside of herself.

They talked about nothing as they fell asleep together. Wolffe didn't even worry about sneaking out at some ridiculous time. He didn't care if someone found them connected like this. He'd never felt this close to her, and he wasn't about to ruin it for something that might not even happen.

No matter how happy he was when he fell asleep, the nightmares still came for him.