MUGEN

Desperation

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Desperation is one of the most unbearable sensations I know of; it feels as if everything around suddenly bears down on you, until your last breath is about to be delivered to a world that has never known nor understood the reasons for life.

That's how it feels.

That's how I feel.

Desperation appears to be attacking me, it numbs my leg muscles as I'm kneeling; and my arms, and my hands, as I look furiously how to staunch the bleeding of your body in front of me. My vision blurs from my tears, and I try to wipe them as to not miss a detail, to not lose sight of you, as your name —InuYasha— leaves my lips like a mantra trying to keep you alive.

"I'll be alright," you mutter, as you take my blood-tainted hands.

How can I believe you, if your grip, the one you are struggling to keep, lacks your usual strength?

"I know," I say, anyway, showing what must look like a somber smile.

My tears start to run down my cheeks, but I don't stop applying pressure to the hideous wound you have at one side of your abdomen, this time with both hands and all the intent I can muster. Innerly, I pray to see someone appear; Sango riding Kirara, or Shippo, or Hachi… anyone who may be able to help us get back home, and take care of you.

Your hand has let go of mine, and my gaze only sees how pale your features are now, how dim your eyes look; your golden lacks hue, and desperation clutches my body and my emotions only become more intense as a result. I close my eyes, and pray, pray to any deity that may bother to listen, from the Buddhas to the Cristian's angels. I pray for a miracle that may help you, heal you, staunch your bleeding from covering the floor… to let you live.

It is then when, under the heaviest despair, my mind opens and tells me this miracle cannot be granted by somebody else. I may never be able to explain why I know what I know in this moment; yet I obey the energy that has suddenly burst forth from me like a certainty, and letting my heart guide it to descend from my hands to you. My heartbeats thunder inside me… then start to calm down, and even though I know desperation still has a hold of the woman I am, the shrine maiden chooses for both of us, and works for your good.

The heat pouring forth from my hands shows me a violet glow in my mind, my eyes closed. The same vision shows me your wound, and the extent of it inside your body. Kagome, the woman I am, wants to scream in frustration, yet the shrine maiden remains calm, and reminds her that it is your life what we both want to balance. Love creates a chain that binds us, and I'm myself again, taking care of you.

I remain there then, for a long, long instant.

Your hand then, settles on mine; it is still weak and cold. I open my eyes, and see you smiling with a gesture meant to bring me peace. The wound has stopped bleeding.

"I'll be okay," you mutter, and then I believe you, the desperation calming down, and balancing itself with another feeling; hope.

"I know."

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A/N

Do try to find a reason for this mess, guys, then tell me about it if you want. This moment just popped in my head, making me want to narrate Kagome's feelings through it.

I hope you've liked it, and that you tell me in the comments.

Kisses,

Anyara

This text is possible thanks to the translation of: Dezart