Sorry for the looooong wait! To be honest, making sure this chapter wasn't clashing with any revisions I made throughout the story or making inconsistencies…it took longer than writing the chapter itself!

Pryd: I'm only halfway but who is the red girl? the red minute spirit? Also I love what they think of Subaru, reading this feels he's becoming cooler and cooler in my opinion.

A: Yeah, she is THE ONE. The exact one in Pride IF lol.

Guest: So in other words, Al is sus.

Anastasia is getting sucked into a void of Thoughs.

It's funny because Priscilla IS right about Rein, but because Pris is Pris, she will never make her intentions clear, just like you said.

And now Subaru won mass money.

Subaru is already Chaotic. Would that make him Chaotic Chaotic?

A: Perhaps! Subaru still gives a fuck about others and actually makes choices according to that, Priscilla wants that to change. Though she takes lightly on how much Subaru can turn dark if he does try things.

Subaru himself got no money lol. Not that he needs it. But Priscilla is one of the winners.

Now…chapter!

"Speaking"

'Thinking'

English words used by characters (They normally speak Japanese after all)


Walking in a beautiful street, the man in front of her was thoughtful, indeed. Not that she had any way of knowing those thoughts.

A reality that bothered and excited her endlessly.

It was the aftermath of everything, all in all, it looked quite insignificant to an eye that lacked any context. And it wasn't a big deal to Natsuki Subaru.

But, unlike him, everyone in that room was invested in the political situation they were in.

'Perhaps he really did believe there would be no awkwardness after going against the rules of this world.' Priscilla thought with a childish yet charming smile.

And she had no intention to let that question go unanswered.

"Hey, did you really think no one would react?" Priscilla did not feel the need to explain her question, that man was no fool, and she had a firm belief in their compatibility when it came to communication.

It is difficult to not have confidence in that regard when half-witch exists.

Natsuki Subaru walks faster without answering.

"That's rude. Who do you think you can talk to after all this? Is there anyone else other than me?"

"..." He stays silent.

'I saw his stubbornness waver.' Seeing that from his face, Priscilla does not stop with her pressure.

"The more you act freely, the more you will see that I am the only one who will stay beside you no matter what. Continue just like this."

"..."

"It's a matter of time when you are seen as something else."

"That's very suggestive brainwashing right here."

Subaru finally speaks. Letting Priscilla know what he exactly thinks.

"Hmm...I wonder. Do you really believe that? That there are many lies in my words. Do you see mineself as someone who would take such a risk? I am taunted by what it could be if not for bugs getting in my way. But I think we have an amusing relationship that is very promising."

"Amusing...huh."

"Yes. Amusing, and many other wonderful things, despite some unwanted complications, what we are and will be...I think they will be things you will look back on with nothing but adoration. After all, that's this Mistress's design."

Priscilla stands in front of Subaru, looking at his eyes, intentionally locking him within her burning eyes, burning with love indeed.

It is hard to resist.

And yet...

"You are awfully dismissing the probability of me getting along well with others at the end of all. That kind of happy ending seems more healthy than just indulging in one person."

"..."

"In fact, you have no interest in that. I even want to say that you don't care."

Priscilla evades Subaru's eyes and even turns her head with a complicated expression.

Subaru sees nothing but Priscilla as a soft wind plays with her orange-red hair.

But in the end, she is never defeated, she never lies, she never backs down from who she is.

Priscilla's face beams with a smile that is much sweeter than before.

"That may be right...No, it's all correct. Isn't that wonderful?"

"..." Subaru's mouth opens slightly with a confused expression. What was she saying? Right after he openly pointed out the obvious yet seductive intentions of putting things into his head.

"Maybe you'll get along with others. Maybe you'll fix things that people did wrong to you. It is similar in a way even if I hate to admit it. My recollection problem...But even so. What's wrong with this? Why do I have to bet or believe that others might just not disappoint you? What's there for you? What's the point when I am here? And what's the point of helping you mend with others? I gain nothing...I feel nothing for them. In fact, I dislike the effect they have on you. I will actively go against it."

"...You will?"

"Yes. And it has nothing to do with politics, beliefs, or anything like that. It's simply that...The more you are yourself, the better it is. This is a supreme maiden's confidence in her instincts and her choice. Not to mention it's not like I will keep you myself to an unsightly extent, there is Schult and few other people that are close to me. Way better than your current friends."

"Let me tell you one thing. I don't know what you might've lived in your home country, Vollachia. That is not significant to me. It does not terrify me. That past of yours does not make me feel pity or anything like that on itself either. I believe I am way past the point that someone's experience in this world can make them understand me. I think I solved everything you wondered about this world in one year.

If I feel something towards things that happened to you in your past, that's only because of the value I see in you. Because you are so close to me. Important to me.

When it comes to that, you are the same as others."

That's what Subaru became. The more he understood his own suffering, he started to see through others as well.

Beatrice's four hundred-year solitude may Subaru feel for her but that's only because Beatrice is Beatrice. If Subaru were to look at it objectively, she suffered all that because of her own choice.

Beatrice herself said many people genuinely wanted to help her. And Subaru was sure of that anyway.

She rejected every single hand except one.

Her suffering is self-inflicted.

Emilia may have been alone in that forest, but she had all the means and power to get out of that place as well. Yet she wiped the snow out of statues for years instead. Drowning in her own guilt.

Her suffering is self-inflicted.

Priscilla may have been in a battle royale for the throne. But it's not like she didn't have the means to quit with her intelligence and power despite her age.

Her suffering is self-inflicted.

Otto may have been targeted by a noblewoman because he revealed what she did with other men. But he had connections, ability, and many more things to win that battle instead of running away and blaming his luck.

His suffering is self-inflicted.

Garfiel had no reason to think that trials were impossible to pass and make others believe that fact. He was scared to try again and let others try and win when he couldn't.

His suffering is self-inflicted.

Roswaal had all the reasons to believe that Echidna's action was fake, coming out of her authority, regardless of whether that was true or not. Yet he chose to fall in love anyway.

His suffering is self-inflicted.

Clind's own choice is to see the lives that are destroyed by his inaction for so many years and observe that and let those lives do no matter how much harm they might bring to the world.

His choice is to discard who he is.

His suffering is self-inflicted.

'And then..'

Natsuki Subaru ignored everything inconvenient because of how much he was disappointed by this world from the very beginning.

He hated himself. He thought that his self-inflicted suffering would have no consequences. He learned all that.

What was the point of talking about this with Priscilla?

Only one.

To make her understand that whatever makes her believe she will only like it more as Subaru becomes more himself, is most likely incorrect.

However...

"That is why it's called faith...hmm indeed."

'Is she saying she'll just believe in that choice?'

"I find your excessive faith disturbing," Subaru says with a chuckle and is about to walk to move past her, however before he could move his eyes from her...

"I love you."

—That, crushes his mind in an instant.

"Whatever that may come out, no matter how different it is, no matter how cold. Wish to believe I will enjoy all of that, it is not something I can justify. It's nothing but love. It won't ever make sense to you. And I will enjoy that thoroughly."

Priscilla says with a face that blushes adorably, yet with eyes that pierce Subaru's very being.

Before he knew it, Priscilla was right in front of him, and his lips were captured already.

The tongue that slid into his mouth and eyes that captured him, marked the end of any questioning Subaru had on Priscilla.

Indeed, few people in this world could provide warmth to Subaru, and just like that, so quickly, she became one of them.

Subaru had no idea if they would reach a certain closeness as a man and woman.

But one thing that he couldn't imagine any longer is not having Priscilla in his life.

After dominating and adoring his being for a good while, she finally separated herself from Subaru with a trail of saliva appearing between their lips.

"Do you feel bewitched? Am I a Witch to you now~?" Priscilla asks teasingly, yet, it is more than that.

She was indeed asking Subaru if he could do without her after this.

By means unknown to Subaru, Priscilla knew that it was pointless to make an attempt to get Subaru for herself for eternity in this instance.

"You don't want to call herself like that...Witches only dream of being able to do things you did to me with this level of success. You are really amazing...ah." As he was speaking, Subaru caught the trail of saliva left on his lips by Priscilla with his tongue.

Priscilla did indeed light the fire inside of him, but she did it wickedly, as they were in an open street, despite not many being around Subaru couldn't do anything further.

Priestella's population is not that dense, and they were in the most luxurious district in an early time.

But still, he can't do it in the street.

As he was still drunk from Priscilla's kiss, he felt her gaze being sharply directed at him.

"You were definitely serious when you said that...Witches, even they are a problem, huh? Are they quick to temper? How do they look? Are they your type?"

Priscilla's absolute seriousness takes Subaru off-guard, which is why he answers with pure honesty.

"They...look fine. Blessed in looks, weirdly enough."

"The ones that are interested in you?"

"Yeah...I mean. There isn't an ugly Witch, now that I think about it. There are children though."

Priscilla blinks for a second yet continues to strike Subaru with questions.

"Huh...How many of them tried to make a move on you?"

"Uhm...That will sound incredibly arrogant. They aren't serious about it anyway."

"Huh-uh, you actually lied there, Now, tell me."

The only attempt to deceive was brushed off by Priscilla instantly. While he knew he had a lack of belief in Echidna's 'love' towards him. Saying that Satella wasn't crazy for him would be insane.

"Romantically speaking...two? But again, it's super iffy—"

Priscilla cuts him off again.

"Are they good-looking?"

"What? Well, yeah?"

'These are very out of character questions...' Subaru thinks silently.

"How did it happen?"

"Ah?"

"They made a move on you, right?"

"...I don't know how you can be jealous like this since I didn't see it coming, it's cute...but even so, you don't need to worry. One of them doesn't even act like a person, so much 'love' that I can't care less. Other, well, complicated, but perhaps she just realized some red flags on me...I am not sure?"

"...You realize that is shocking even for me right?" Priscilla says with a sigh.

"Huh?"

" You said 'Too much love' and 'Don't act like a person' Aren't you trying to reveal that person to me?"

"Well, I am just loose-lipped when it comes to you."

It was true, Subaru didn't consciously decide to tell or keep it in him, but he didn't care either way.

'Ah, now I think about it. The part about 'Craving love' and 'Being totally crazy' is properly recorded into history when it comes to Satella.'

But it didn't matter.

He trusted Priscilla.

If he did not, this would be a simpler matter, just reset.

—If he has to be totally honest, for so many times, he was haunted by the idea of wanting to reveal insane facts to several people close to him, then kill himself.

But Subaru knew this would be addictive, and would end with the destruction of his entire journey.

—He was always one step further from seeing this world as a game.

Perhaps that is why the DEATH requirement was good for him.

Priscilla took him to a nearby alleyway.

"Why are there always convenient alleyways whenever I am with you?"

Subaru asks but Priscilla dismisses it.

"Witch Of Envy. Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Did she give you some kind of power? Something that would explain—" Subaru stops that sentence before his mood sours.

"No. Not just that, she thought she did. So the other witches."

"They thought?"

"Yes. It's a useful misunderstanding. One that I did not plan, or at least I don't have the memory of planning."

Subaru opened up to her this much. She felt like she could get an answer to any question.

She already researched a lot about him, she knew everything the general public knew about him.

Yet, the question was simple.

"How?"

What power is that? To get him so far.

What is the mystery behind it all?

How? contained all of those questions and more.

And Subaru answered with nothing but honesty.

"I reject, that's all there is."

"You...reject?"

"Yes."

"..."

"I reject everything. That is my power."

"..."

This answer could easily be understood as Subaru didn't want to say anything and evaded the question. Yet, Priscilla thought he was entirely honest about it.

"...Why is the Witch Of Envy in love with you?"

"I have no idea."

"..." Priscilla glares at Subaru.

"Didn't I tell you? I am really good at rejecting. Which is why I have no recollection whatsoever. It seems I rejected that as well, or perhaps she was delusional even in the past."

"..." 'Even in the past', Priscilla notes that in her mind.

"I reject anything that might just stop me from achieving my satisfaction. But forgetting means losing control as well, so while I forget things, my power does not. That's how I don't lose control. That is why you are not the only person who can forget me."

He doesn't remember the past, he doesn't remember why he chose to discard everything without erasing. Yet, he knew deep down that it was his own choice. So there is definitely a reason.

Subaru says that and turns his back to Priscilla, leaving her alone.

"How can you be sure to say all this and be confident that nothing will happen?" In an out-of-character way, Priscilla speaks her doubts. In a way, all of that was a lot to take, even for her.

Was it because he was in control in a way she didn't know?

How is he so sure?

Subaru looks back without fully turning.

"You love me, don't you?"

Grinning confidently, Subaru leaves.

...

"I..."

She realizes that she is holding her chest as if to slow down her beating heart.

Things between them may be moving too fast.

Perhaps that will change everything.

Perhaps if he leaves with her one day, people will die, and a brighter future for some people may be lost.

"Even so, I won't let that Saint of Boredom take him away from me."

'He doesn't want to admit it, but what he wants isn't 'saving' him from me. What he truly wants is for him to be the convenient problem solver.'

He knows he can't save everyone.

This is why a part of him sees Subaru as the 'savior' everyone deserves.

That's what Priscilla observed.

"Savior to save people who don't want to grow...Don't make me laugh. No matter what, I won't let such a cliche happen."

After getting separated from Priscilla Subaru thinks alone.

"It wasn't a lie...Her confession changed things...however"

Subaru wasn't super honest with his reasoning on why he blurted out a bomb like that.

"It's probably just that I am getting detached."

Interactions between camps, people that are close to him, overall consequences of not hiding things.

Subaru slowly lost care in any of that, and most importantly.

"I really don't care about Satella."

He lost all investment. Whether she dies or lives. Why does Subaru have to care? Satella was likely someone who wasn't evil in the past. But that didn't mean she didn't have a long list of wrongdoings. Even If you killed half of the world with your good intentions and without wanting to, people don't need to add "Though yeah, she didn't want to" everytime they voice their fear or anger.

One thing he learned from his friends is that you don't need to be evil to cause death and misery to others. Ignorance, cowardice, cruelty, obsession, incompetence...any of these things would do good enough.

"I wonder what she will do."

Priscilla may have thought that Subaru trusted her with not speaking to anyone...but that wasn't true.

Subaru didn't care that other people might learn. In fact, perhaps he was gambling with danger just so that he could feel some excitement.

Reinhard was trying to persuade him to be how people see him. And do what he always does.

Priscilla wants him to do whatever he wants with his own rules, no matter how ugly and different it might be.

All in all, there were good and bad sides to Priscilla's idea.

Reinhard's was just stagnation and consideration or ignorance of his current suffering because of doing the same things over and over again. Overall, it prioritized many over few.

In the end, perhaps that was the reason why Subaru thought about getting his thoughts on things.

"It's incredible...that I want to talk with Julius of all people."


"So...that's why he looked at Felt-sama with those eyes, that explains a lot."

Julius calmly said as he brought the tea to his lips. Unlike the man in front of him, he was calm.

"That may be, but even so..." Reinhard said helplessly. It was out of character for him to be like this.

"But it's weird...Subaru isn't one to wait before acting." Julius says. If Subaru wants to kill those trio then it was weird for him to not pursue them even now.

"..."

"Was it your actions that caused him to pause? Or was it something else?"

After Julius says that, Reinhard stays silent.

Was it Priscilla who stopped Subaru?...But then unless she convinced him to not do anything against him, that wouldn't last long.

And Priscilla definitely wouldn't do anything for him. Reinhard was sure of that.

Maybe...His words reached him.

He remembered what he did after Subaru returned...

"It surprised me that it's you who reached me..." Subaru says with an annoyed tone.

"..."

"Since you called me first, speak."

But instead of saying anything, Reinhard went down to his knees and put his head on the floor.

There was a Japanese term for this action: Dogeza.

"Subaru...I am sorry!"

"..."

"I can't find any way to solve this. I can't act any differently than who I am. But I know I am wrong, despite that I just can't. I am sorry. Please forgive me."

With a weak yet firm voice, apologizing and trying to repent, Reinhard acted like he was in the wrong.

It was a first for him.

Subaru had only one thing to say.

"You really are acting like someone stronger than everyone...Even willing to force things to go your way despite knowing you are wrong."

"..."

"But...well, I won't lie. You are the only person...who saved me."

With that, Subaru leaves Reinhard alone.


Maybe that action made Subaru think things over. That's what Reinhard wanted to believe.

But despite everything, he didn't feel extremely guilty...after all, he didn't truly feel he was in the absolute wrong. He may have not realized Subaru wouldn't react well to Felt's choice...but killing is far too much.

That was why he wanted to say the right things so that Subaru wouldn't attempt anything drastic.

"Well, in the end, it doesn't matter what stops him right now."

"Is that so?" Reinhard asked Julius.

"Yes. In the end, Subaru isn't wrong."

"Julius?" Reinhard raises his eyebrows in surprise. Was Julius taking Subaru's side?

"Why are you surprised? Not just me, but anyone, even the council would think you are in the wrong. This isn't something anyone can excuse, you took the people who tried to rob, or even kill Subaru. Why would anyone try to protect criminals from offending Subaru or Emilia camp? To begin with, they are criminals, so you shouldn't have any reason to keep them."

Sound and simple logic. It did not matter that Felt was a candidate or Reinhard wouldn't disagree with any of her choices. If Subaru were to kill those thugs, there were more than enough reasons.

Enough reasons that no one would bat an eye.

Yet, Reinhard would support Felt anyway.

"You changed, Julius."

"Is that so? Well, yes. But don't get me wrong, personally, I don't think I would do anything like what Subaru might do. Even if we are friends, you are indeed The Sword Saint. And even if you are serving Lugunica, the wise men also wouldn't dare to offend you by killing some criminals in your camp. It's just that..."

"It's Subaru."

"Yes."

At this point, saying that Subaru didn't have common sense itself wasn't even the full picture.

He was simply different and thought things differently. How strong Reinhard was, how powerful he was, it did not deter Subaru.

Above all, now he has started to think about himself more.

Julius understood that Reinhard wasn't even worried about Subaru meeting with the criminal trio, he probably thought that Subaru would just turn a blind eye or laugh it off.

But that was one thing about Subaru, not even Reinhard could predict him.

And Subaru would not stop just because Reinhard was there.

"I wonder if he realizes the fact that camps can easily become enemies." Reinhard wondered as dark thoughts entered his head as he thought what he might need to do. It genuinely made him worry.

"I don't think Subaru ignores anything...Whether it's allies or the enemy. I'll say it once again, I wasn't useful against the Sloth. Overall, it is the most shameful memory for me. The reason for my change."

"You are being harsh on yourself," Reinhard says but Julius rejects it instantly.

"I was there to finish the madman before he could do anything drastic or take over Subaru. Because of my 'Knightly rules,' I did not finish him when Subaru gave me the perfect opportunity. Subaru didn't say anything about that. I couldn't destroy his soul before he could possess Subaru either, Subaru also solved that himself. In the end, the madman wasn't even dead and followed Subaru with his last remaining power. Overall, I did nothing. And Subaru never said a word when all of that happened, as if he expected it. This is probably how he handles things with his allies. He is conscious of everything."

"..."

After seeing Reinhard did not break the silence, Julius sighs and gets up from his chair.

"It seems you are not willing to change your mind."

"..."

"Well then, I'll go talk with Subaru."

"So, you think you can change his mind?" Reinhard asks with hopeful eyes, but Julius shuts him down.

"Like I said, I don't think Subaru is wrong here. So I won't try anything, I'll simply talk with him, for my own reasons. After all, I like to think of him as my friend."

With that, Julius left Reinhard alone.

"I wonder if I am friends with him at this point..."

He allowed silence to dominate after asking that question to no one but himself.


"You changed Julius."

Subaru states very clearly, as they both sit on a private boat.

It is big enough for two people and has an interior where two people can sit.

But Subaru and Julius preferred to feel the fresh air. Watching the calm waters of Priestella.

"Yes, I've been told. But you changed too."

"Hah...Really?"

"Yes. You couldn't afford this kind of luxury before." Julius said with a handsome smile and mischief.

"I would be acting pissed if I wasn't in shock. You leveled up a lot when it comes to sarcasm." Unlike Julius, Subaru wasn't joking, which had a different kind of bite.

"I'll have you know that I am new to this type of interaction."

"Is that so, Juli," Subaru says with a smirk. Reminding Julius about the disguised name he chose.

"That wasn't a joke. At that time I was naive, and thought that it was unacceptable to show myself working with mercenaries, which is why I chose that name, despite our cause being most purposeful and honorable."

"Yes. That's why it's more hilarious than any joke." Subaru said as he shamelessly laughed at Julius.

"...Huh. Perhaps you do not know about it. But there was a time Emilia attempted something similar against a group of nobles that thought she was...doing a different profession."

"How bad was it?"

""Emily"

"PFFFFFFF...but still it's different when a clueless child does." Subaru laughs and yet he points out the obvious.

"I guess you and Ricardo will never let me forget about that nickname."

"Oh...What about Mimi?"

"I bribed her."

"Figures." It didn't even need to be communicated. It was sweets that made her lose, or perhaps time with Garfiel if it was after she met him.

Silence fell between them, it wasn't an awkward silence. It was two people who didn't mind being silent together.

After feeling the wind some more. Subaru felt different in an instant.

"Haha. It feels cold, but it's not like before." A cold feeling, a different kind of despair unknown to any other living being strikes Subaru. But this time, it is familiar...and Subaru just welcomes it, instead of being broken by it.

Whether that is a good thing or not, it's unknown.

"What did you say?" Julius asks, barely hearing Subaru's words.

"It's nothing. But seriously...what happened with Emilia? I am a little bit curious about those times...Emilia before me, I mean."

"Before Natsuki Subaru...huh. You won't believe how much things have changed. As far as I am concerned. I was quite familiar with Ram-san and Emilia-sama, every now and then our paths would cross. But both of them are different people now. But there are also weird things...that I am really confused by."

"Huh?" Subaru's attention was purely on Julius now.

"While it should be easy for you to guess the attention Emilia-sama gets because of her similarities with The Witch. It was also undeniable that she was beautiful, and some people had enough lust to not fear her for that reason alone. At that time, Emilia-sama had problems as her candidacy wasn't announced. I helped her with the nobles every now and then. But Emilia-sama herself wasn't clueless about the intentions of the people...But Emilia-sama now, she is totally clueless on what certain men might want."

"Hmm...It's sad, but I can see how that can happen." Subaru says knowingly.

Julius waits for an explanation.

"Emilia is really good at stagnating, not changing I mean. She fears change, perhaps she can afford to be that slow with her life-span...But she also goes back as well, somewhat, she can do just that without consciously deciding."

Not maturing, but the opposite.

This is why Emilia's current knowledge when it comes to sexes was unknown to Subaru.

One of the reasons Emilia just couldn't do anything rebellious and acted even childish after sanctuary events was Puck's disappearance. As Puck disappeared, Emilia turned his poorly made rules into gospel.

She took great care in being a good girl.

"So, tell me more about Emilia."

"..."

"Julius?" As Subaru stopped looking at the scenery and turned his head towards Julius, he was looking at him with a shocked, and perhaps even...a broken expression.

"...Ah...My apologies." Julius said quickly as he composed himself.

"What...was that?"

"Ah...It's that normal for you? It's just. You see, we even talked between us. How you might react to the realization about her life span, or maybe you just didn't think it through...I always thought it was something sad."

"Sad huh..."

"Yes. Sad. I am not looking down on you. But I can't help but feel sad. Not only did you have such a limited time...compared to her, but also you didn't even get an answer for your feelings. That's just...not fair."

"...What the hell?" Subaru says with his eyes wide open.

"Are you going to shout at me, Subaru?"

"Maybe it was in the past, yes...but wow...I never thought I could have a normal relationship just like that..."

"Huh?"

"...Thanks for being my friend, that's about it. Worrying about me to this level, I felt it. Thanks."

With a slight blush, Subaru says all that.

"You act like you thought you never had anyone that close."

"Well, you can never be sure."

"Ricardo, Reinhard and even Felix..."

"Oh wait! I'll have you stop there! Felix absolutely hates me."

"...That's probably not..."

"That guy would rather me be a slave to the Kingdom."

"...!"

"That face you have...did he really say that...? Ugh."

After that awkward conversation, they had another bit of silence between them.

"Subaru...I talked with Reinhard."

"Oh. Is that so?"

"Well, I see that you are being proactive."

"That's right, I don't like people who play with me like that, not anymore."

"That's...I hope it won't end badly. But what I want to say is...Why are you not hostile to Felix? If you are aware of his bad intentions? Maybe it's because he didn't do anything to you?"

"Firstly. I have a good reason for that. Secondly, Felix already tried to brainwash me a few times."

"WHAT?!" Julius screamed so loudly that Subaru's ears hurt.

"Ouch!" Which was something he voiced. Despite pain being insignificant to him. After all, you wouldn't want to have ear damage regardless of your pain tolerance.

Not waiting for Julius's questioning, Subaru answers.

"It was after my actions in the Royal Palace. It was more like something along the lines of making me passive towards whatever Crusch wants and making me tired, things like that and a bit more."

"...I can't believe this."

"That's exactly who he is, someone who would do anything for one person without questioning if they would want that or not, that's a strong-looking obsession that the weakest type of people have. Since they fear questioning if their 'loved one' would be pleased or not."

Roswaal and Felix weren't so different.

Somewhat sad backstory, the decision to be a slave even after they are freed from their chains.

"So there is a reason you are not hostile to Felix?"

"I said 'I have a good reason' but actually there are two. First...it's a good opportunity for growth for her."

"Her..?"

"Crusch," Subaru answers and continues.

"She is having some temporary problems right now. But one of her flaws is looking deep down on people's souls and their nature while trusting them. This is a double-edged sword. She can see deception, but she can also be deceived by someone who thinks they are doing good for her while being a flaw. That's who Felix is, if Crusch can see him as who he is without thinking who he ought to be, she will be stronger than ever."

"...You realized that she was a favorite before...right?"

"Royal selection? Oh yeah, that thing. But you see, no matter how much time passed, no matter how hard it was to convince her at that time, after everything happened, no matter what I will remember all of it. When Emilia wasn't with me and rejected me, she was that one person who acknowledged everything I did without shame or hesitation. There was nothing but admiration you see...That was a first for me. I'll never forget that, no matter what. I want to see that woman be cleaned from all ugliness, I'd like to see her reach her potential.

If I didn't have this obsession with finishing what I started, I would have been with her a long time ago."

"You mean joining her camp?" Julius asks with a wide eye.

But Subaru looks at him and smiles.

"Right?" Julius asks again, but Subaru stays silent.

Julius sighs while slapping his forehead. "You really have something for Princesses...Please stay away from Anastasia."

"Too late..."

With both friends reaching their destination of separation, Julius tells Subaru that he wants to meet with him again, as he couldn't talk about what he wanted to talk about all along.

Subaru agrees without thinking about it, and they separate their ways for now...

...

...

...

"Wait...What did he just say?"

Despite changing quite a bit, Julius wasn't exactly 'Excellent' when it's about social matters.

He was rather slow.


"I guess I should see her for a while..."

While no longer pampering Emilia meaninglessly to distract himself, Subaru knew that Emilia needed him.

He wasn't interacting with Beatrice for a while, which was his true purpose for coming back to the lodge instead of having more alone time.

However, Emilia was jealous in nature, ironically enough, perhaps more than Satella, as Emilia would get jealous of any type of attention he gives to others if she lacked it, it didn't even have to be romantic. While Satella, in her worst state, was only jealous of Echidna. As that was one thing that triggered her when Subaru tried to make her pissed off.

So, since Emilia wouldn't leave Beatrice and him alone, he might as well give her some time. Even though she should stop being dependent already.

"Oh?"

"Subaru-sama?"

With one of the doors in front of him opened, Subaru and Crusch met in the large hallway.

Crush seemed to be wearing a yukata. Very beautifully made and noble-like, a black robe with green decorations. Her hair was free as always and shining beautifully.

She had a very natural beauty, unlike most women Subaru knew in this world. There was something more close to reality in her beauty. Less magical. Untouched by the world around.

Almost as if she was a normal girl despite everything around. And she was merely acting according to her responsibilities...

And that it was impossible to know how she was normally without clearing off all the layers.

Subaru smiles naturally. "You know...You don't need to call me Subaru-sama."

"I know," Crush says matter of factly. Basically saying I chose this out of all options.

Awkward bluntness coming off from her wasn't something Subaru found unlikeable. In fact, her ability to be like that regardless if she is in the royal palace or any place was lovely.

In this world, being true to one's nature is a weakness for gifted people. Emilia, Priscilla, and many others were no exception. But somewhat, Crusch was an exception.

"Did you guys bathe together again?"

"Yes."

"I see. I see."

"Perhaps you are trying to imagine things?"

"...?! Crush-san?" Subaru coughed and shouted with shock as he did not expect such a question from Crush out of all people.

"I see...I guess Priscilla-san was correct."

"...I don't know what to say about that."

As always, Priscilla did not care about causing chaotic dramas. Subaru could only imagine what was going on with all of them being in the same place, bathing,

"So...Crusch-san, are you having fun with everyone else?"

"Hmm. Yes. Though I believe the true purpose of this gathering is to observe each other, isn't that true?"

"...Yes."

"But perhaps Subaru-sama thought this as an advantage, maybe a vacation."

"...I'd like to tell you that I can be serious as well!" Subaru tells her with a sigh.

"Yes. But I always thought Subaru-sama saw things as a journey."

"..."

"...Did I say something wrong?"

"...Well. Haha. It was meant to be a journey. Haha. But I was too scared. Disappointed that I wasn't actually starting from zero..."

Crusch does not say anything as silence dominates the two.

"But Crusch-san, this is weird...No, it's impressive. For you to be able to do that observation with your condition."

"Perhaps." Perhaps for the first time in a long while, Subaru saw her unsure. But he couldn't understand why.

Maybe she had doubts about her analysis when it came to him.

That was only natural, after all, you could never be sure with Natsuki Subaru.

'Hah...That's such an embarrassing thing to say. But it's true regardless.'

There was no need for Subaru to lie to himself, he enjoyed how people couldn't solve him and stuck at some point.

Whether it's Return By Death or his true origins. No one could figure him out fully. Not even Echidna, as she couldn't reach some of the information in his head, by means unknown to Subaru yet still connected to him.

'I wonder how she would feel if I just blurted out that we surely knew each other, yet she has no idea. Or maybe all of the Witches he interacted with, including her, have their names coming out of his preferences.'

He just couldn't stop thinking about it. He could probably destroy everything she was confident in. Not to mention, unlike Roswaal and Beatrice who think she is fake, Subaru was absolutely sure that the Echidna in the tomb was the real one.

Just because the world doesn't see her as the same being as Echidna, they discarded that idea. But Subaru knew there was something wrong with the history. The forces that tried to erase Witches from history were determined for sure.

"Don't you think our relationship is somewhat calm compared to...what you have with other candidates?"

"...Well, that was sudden." Subaru makes that one thing clear as Crusch says that suddenly.

And then, someone else comes as the sound of the door opening is heard by both Crusch and Subaru.

Subaru's eyes darken.

"Oi...what's with that look?"

"..."

"If you have anything to say, spit it out."

"Have a nice day," Subaru says to Felt. His expression turned normal instantly.

"Well, I'd like to just believe you are mad because I stopped you from flirting..."

"Sure," Subaru says normally.

"But big bro...you really look like the devil himself."

With that Felt leaves.

From her perspective, she did catch Subaru look like that a few times, it's just that she isn't sure what makes him have that look. She tried to bait him by acting as if it was her he was looking at, but Subaru did not take it.

Subaru saw through her intentions, but it wasn't wrong to say that his business with her had not ended yet.

"You should consider what she said, it's better to speak with someone about what problem you have before acting." Crusch kindly advised Subaru.

Subaru asks. "And why are you saying that?"

"Because she wasn't wrong, you looked like a devil. Natsuki Subaru."

The eyes that accepted and even became a source of excitement and lust by Priscilla were taken with nothing but cautiousness by others. And there was no need to mention, unlike Priscilla, there was hostility while looking at Felt.

"Well, maybe you aren't wrong. Our relationship is definitely calmer when you compare it to the other four."

"That's what I wanted to talk about...I think I will have to confess something that might change that." Crusch said with utmost seriousness.

Confessing something.

It could be anything.

Subaru's mind went to 'Romantic Confession' for a second. It could also be a declaration of war, but he knew that couldn't be.

He stopped trying to theorize and waited for her to 'confess.'

For some reason, Crusch started to come close to him, and Subaru had to stop himself from moving by reflex.

As she came closer to his ear, her hair tickled Subaru's nose in more than one way.

'What is this...she smells excellent.'

A smell that couldn't be called anything but a woman's smell, Subaru didn't even try to think about a flower that matched hers. She was incredibly fresh too, as she just got out of the bath.

It wasn't uncommon for Crusch to do things that could be misunderstood, but for the first time, she made Subaru's heart skip a beat. And she did this by only coming closer to him.

Perhaps when a woman like Crusch does something out of character, it has a greater impact.

"Subaru, I-"

While his mind was blown up by her calling his first name, something stopped Crusch from continuing.

"Crusch-sama?"

It was Felix.

"Ah, Felix. Don't mind us, I was just saying something important to Subaru-sama."

"Something important...Subaru-kyun, Emilia..-sama is calling you though?"

"I see. I'll come later." Subaru answers him just like that.

"...Priscilla is also waiting."

"I see."

"Crusch-sama, I also have something to say to you."

"I see."

Just like Subaru, Crusch gave him the same answer.

Yet Felix persisted.

"Julius is also with Emilia-sama, you know?" Felix said in a way that was supposed to trigger Subaru.

But instead of Subaru...

"Felix. Why are you lying?"

"Crusch-sama...I don't know what you are talking about?"

"Everything you said until now, was a lie," Crusch said as she didn't even turn towards Felix.

"You...should know that I am not lying though? With your Divine Protection, that's just not possible nya..." Felix said nervously.

"You know that very well, but you also know that to see the winds, I have to look at the person. And you assumed I wasn't looking at you."

"...Wh..." A tiny whimper came out of Felix.

He was busted.

"Oh, the mirror. And I was wondering why she changed her position a bit..." Subaru instantly realized what she had done.

She was looking at a mirror behind Subaru while leaning towards him. Thanks to her Divine Protection, she could see the invisible winds around people, and now if they lie.

Reinhard possessed the same power, one that Subaru overcame regularly by simple methods thanks to his understanding.

All in all, Felix surely would've caught that if he wasn't so focused on their closeness. For so long, he was so careful to never 'lie'.

"...I..I..." Felix tried to say something, but Crusch cut that off instantly.

"Dismissed."

She crushed all stubbornness with a single word.

Felix was gone after a moment.

"So that's why you created the heat." Her coming close, their body touching a bit too much. Even Subaru couldn't sense her intentions and thought it was her normal blunt approach.

'I won't be tricked again though.' He mentally notes to never lower his guard again with her.

But...

"What are you talking about?"

"Eh?"

"I genuinely wanted to tell you something, things only started when I saw winds move from the mirror," Crusch answered instantly.

With that, Subaru realized he was right after all.

"So...what do you want to tell me?"

"Ah...yes."

With that once again, she leaned towards-

"Hey, can we do without that?"

"...Unfortunately, I can't have anyone hearing it, and I don't want you to see my face either."

'She is shy? That's totally out of character.'

With that, Subaru was ready to hear whatever she was about to say.

However...

"You guys are awfully close, aren't ya?"

"Oh, come on. This again?"

This time, it was Anastasia.

"Sorry for disturbing your flirting with him, Crusch-san...actually not sorry at all, anyways, I need him for a while."

Anastasia said as she was about to drag Subaru somewhere but Crusch stopped her.

"Sorry, but I need to tell him something very important."

"Oh yes, I am sure it's so important that you need to lock lips to make sure he understands it, but I advise you to do it at a better time, in a room," Anastasia says the obvious.

"L-Lock lips? What are you talking about?" Yet Crusch has no idea what she is talking about.

"No, Anastasia has common sense here, but Crusch-san genuinely wanted to tell something," Subaru explains to the situation but Anastasia's eyes make clear she doesn't believe him whatsoever.

"Ah, somewhat, I caused a misunderstanding? Very well, then I will handle it in a more private place." Crusch says as she drags Subaru somewhere.

"Wait?! You are actually getting a room?"

"No. We are not doing anything!"

It took a while for Subaru to convince Anastasia, but finally, they found privacy.

Subaru sighs and looks at Crusch, they are in her room now.

He does nothing but wait for her to say whatever she wants to say, she leans towards him and brings her lips to his ear.

"I am haunted by the memories I had with you."

The sentence that sounded awfully like a confession, had different implications thanks to the context they both had.

"What? You...You still do not have your memories though?"

"That's correct. I wasn't sure what to do with this, but randomly, most of the time when I am asleep, I remember short memories. One thing that was common was that you were there, mentioned or included in some way."

"...That's...must be creepy?"

"No...I'll be honest. Thanks to you, I learned a lot about myself in the past. She had few people that touched her deeply, but it always had consequences. I know this because I listened to others...But I never saw anything like that with you."

"Consequences...?"

"I...kept finding inconsistencies with her...MY actions."

"Is that so?"

"Please do not keep it from me. I need to hear your thoughts as well, no one else can give me their view clear from all biases. It's only you."

Crusch looked at Subaru with deep emotion.

Eyes full of honesty, so honest that Subaru couldn't hold back, he spoke freely.

"I...never thought Crusch was someone who would wear masculine outfits so that people would accept her. I...I don't know. I just felt that way, she never changed anything or acted differently for others."

"Hah...Haha."

"Why are you laughing?" Subaru asks while looking at her.

"It's just...I am relieved. It's hard to trust yourself after forgetting everything after all..."

"I see, so you also thought that."

"Exactly," Crusch confirms.

"So...You find a new you, congratulations," Subaru says and leaves-

"Is there...anything else you questioned?"

"You want too much from me..."

"I know that it's selfish, but I can't talk about this with anyone else. They won't take me, who has so little experience, questioning old me seriously."

Being pressed further, he speaks again.

"I was there when you made your declaration in the Royal Palace."

"Yes, I remember that."

"But if you remember that...You should know why you made that right?"

"I think I didn't explain it enough, yes, sorry for not explaining. I don't exactly remember things in a normal way."

Subaru becomes confused and tilts his head lightly. "What do you mean by that?"

"I see things from an outside perspective."

"...I see. I'll continue then, when you made your declaration, you talked about how Lugunica shouldn't depend on Dragon Volcanica but themselves. I find that funny since there are a lot of things that this country depends on which you didn't voice at that time, blessings, Sword Saint, and so on."

"Hmm...I see. I probably know the reason for that."

"I see, I won't ask then."

Subaru starts to leave...however.

"Do you have any idea why I might be seeing things from an outside perspective?"

"Let me be the one who asks a question this time. Why did you not come and ask me about this before?"

Subaru asks firmly, if she is going to learn more, then she should feed some of his curiosity as well.

"I felt that it was meaningless."

"Meaningless?"

"Wilhelm...he realized that something was going on with me, so I had to open up with him and him only. In the end, both of us realized that the reason I started seeing memories that you had likely wouldn't bring my memories at all. It won't help in any way."

"Why is that?"

"Isn't that obvious? You are special."

"..."

"You resisted the Gluttony, you remember all victims. There was no meaning in questioning you on a solution either, as there was no way you would not wake her up if you had a solution."

Natsuki Subaru was spied on, researched, and questioned about many things throughout the year that passed.

But no one ever questioned or did any of those things to learn if he could fix Gluttony's victims.

After all, there was no mistaking it, Natsuki Subaru was truly obsessed with Rem and he wasn't hiding it.

If he cannot save Rem, then he definitely cannot bring Crusch's memories back.

With this logic, neither Anastasia nor Russel had any reason to question Subaru about Gluttony, Crusch was included in this as well.

'And they are absolutely right.' Subaru thought.

In the end, he will wake Rem up no matter what. He would feel no shame waking her up first or even only her if there was one magical pill to give.

Crusch's position, how many people loved her or Felix. He didn't give a damn. Rem was his responsibility, the girl who loved him, and perhaps his salvation.

"I won't get into details...but I have a theory." Subaru speaks after a sigh.

"Hmm?"

"The world's memories do not work well with me. After all, I definitely do not need my [Memory] to have my memories."

"...What do you mean?"

"The soul is made from [Memory] and [Name], at the very least these two-parts exist in Od, as Gluttony's ability depends on this function. But I am confident I can remember myself easily without my [Memory]. I do not need them to remember ME. I wasn't sure how it would go with [Name], but even if we can't know how it would go without me being eaten, it seems that the WORLD can remember the moment I was in...and since you are one of the people that depend on WORLD's memories...you seem to be able to recall them as well."

Subaru explained to Crusch.

She learned quite a bit from him but even so...

How can you remain unaffected with a part of your soul ripped off?

No matter how much curiosity killed her, she did not feel like she could ask about that, something about the way he looked at her made Crusch think that way.

"What do you think about the time you saved your territory from The Great Rabbit?"

Out of nowhere, in an unnatural yet incomprehensible way, Subaru asked his question.

—He shouldn't have asked, there was a reason why he did not ask ever since he heard about that event.

It was about when she saved her territory and family from the Great Rabbit by driving them away. It was the first time anyone in the world managed such a feat.

That was until a black haired anomaly appeared.

"Huh? Well...I always thought that's how I, Crusch Karsten, proved myself to everyone at a very young age. It was interesting to read."

"..." Subaru's face could not be read by Crusch.

Surely, she wasn't as observant as her old self. However, something made her feel that no one could understand this man in front of her right now.

Right now, Subaru was looking at her, as if asking "Is there anything else?" As if she gave a wrong answer.

There wasn't anything else to ask. There was no business left. And yet, Crusch didn't feel like letting him go just now.

"Subaru—" If her sentence were to be complete, it would be an invitation somewhere so that they could spend more time, though she didn't know why, she wanted to ask just that.

However, that sentence would never be completed by the current Crusch, as the door opens and cuts her words.

"It seems your conversation has come to an end? Good. Now let me borrow ya!" Anastasia comes in without minding any ethics whatsoever.

Whether she was learning from her enemy(Priscilla) or someone who does not care about social rules(Subaru) rubbed her off, it was hard to decide.

""It seems" my ass! You were listening weren't you?"

"No, but even if I were listening, that would be just using my woman privilege!"

"...You and Priscilla sure abuse that privilege a lot!"

With that interaction, Anastasia drags Subaru out, but before leaving the room, she sends a nasty glare to Crusch...

"What was that?"

—Who was totally clueless what that possessive glare meant.


"How much did you hear?"

"Not much. But you felt I was there anyway, right?"

"Huh? How did you know?"

Talking and walking together while walking in the hall, Anastasia did not answer Subaru's question.

'Uhm...How should I answer?'

'We can't let him know that I am somewhat connected to him now! We just started to learn!'

'Hey, fox-san, I accepted that I don't dislike him despite all the things that happened. But that doesn't change the fact that he might just be dangerous if you invade his privacy like that.'

'It's fine if there is no deception. I do not know how to explain it, but he allows a lot of violations of all kinds if you obey the rules, though you have to make sure you don't peek into his mind or feelings at certain times.'

'What? Rules?' Anastasia asks in her mind, confused.

'Yes. You get punished in different ways if you disobey. Though weirdly enough, even though it's him who enforces it, he doesn't seem to realize it.'

'Punishment?'

'You find yourself in a place that is nothing but nothing, and from that nothingness, a hand of nothingness grabs your heart and touches it threateningly, even though I don't have one, it gives that feeling anyway. And then when he asked that weird question about the Great Rabbit, whatever he was thinking, I have no recollection of those thoughts.'

'You...have weird fetishes' Anastasia, regardless of how real the first part was, thinks that Echidna was joking.

Though she notes the 'memory loss' part to her mind with seriousness.

"Hey? Anastasia?"

"Ehhh!? Ah, yes. True."

"I didn't say anything that you could agree with, it's more like I asked a question," Subaru says as he glares at Anastasia.

"..."

"Well, whatever. Though curb the telepathy a bit. You guys talk a lot anyway."

"How did you know?"

"Your face makes it obvious."

Despite Anastasia's denial of making it obvious, Subaru doesn't react to her anger and they reach her room.

"That's the third royal candidate room I visited today. It's gonna be four after this too."

"You finally decided to ambush Emilia?"

"You have a dirty mind," Subaru says with a slight blush. But then the blush disappears and he adds. "You know what...It would probably work just fine if I tried. She is very weak against assertiveness."

"Please forget that! I was joking."

"That might be, but I am not joking."

After taking Anastasia's nasty glare. Subaru asked why she brought him to her room.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that I won't hate you for now. After all, I decided that you are a hopeless person so I will spare you this time."

"That's very kind of you...and quite tsundere as well."

"I don't know what that means but surely it's something rude."

While they are talking, Anastasia's scarf turns into a fox, and comments on Subaru's unknown word.

"Hah. I know you are dying to know what it means. But I won't tell you."

"You know me too well, that's not how it's supposed to be."

"Sorry that you are too much like your mother. In fact, you are the most similar to her between the other two."

To that, both Anastasia's and Echidna's eyes widen.

"There is...another one?" Echidna asks.

"Puck. He is the same."

"Ah...I see." Anastasia mutters.

"Can you tell me anything about him?" Echidna asks Subaru with good intentions, that's the only reason why Subaru doesn't get angry at her.

Puck always sours his mood after all.

"Between three artificial spirits Echidna created. The most unique one is Beatrice, after all, she did not have a fixed goal so unlike you two, she is probably created purely by Echidna's wish and not because some book tells her to do so. Hah." Subaru chuckles lightly.

"Why is Beatrice created?" Echidna asks.

"I don't know. But when things were peaceful...she was merely her daughter."

"Who was the father then?"

"..." To that, Subaru stays silent.

He wants to say there was no father.

But he was unsure.

Whether THEY are real or not. He did not know. That Person Beatrice waited for and Echidna mentioned…

Echidna did not lie when she said she didn't know who THEY is. But when she talked about she wanted to see who Beatrice would choose and she merely said things about THEY for that reason...that was a lie.

If it was another experiment for her Greed. Subaru was sure that Beatrice would see that through, Echidna wouldn't hide it anyway.

Not to mention, Beatrice talked about how Echidna truly seemed like she was talking about someone.

'But it's not like there is any way to know if that's true.'

After all...

'It seems like Echidna forgot...'

...Once again.

'Once again something related to a Witch, simply erased from history, and even the Witch herself doesn't remember it.'

...It was Vanity, for Subaru to feel bothered when it was him who didn't dig more into this matter. But he merely wanted to focus on the present…wanting to believe the past is in the past.

The cold feeling reaches Subaru, to distract himself from theorizing further, he asks a random question to Anastasia.

"Well, this and that. I don't know any answers. But I am curious about something...You have a nice name. Who gave it to you?" Subaru asks with a genuine smile.

"Hahaha. You'll be disappointed. It is simply how the poor slum people called me when they saw me tripping down a hole, to my defense, roads there sucked." She laughed lightly.

What Anastasia said was that they made the name up from the similar sounding to 'Hole'. (This is canon. The hole sounds like 'Ana' part of her name. This is legit how Anastasia explained her name in one of the chapters of the side stories about her past, of course Tappei might've been intended to be just that, a joke and nothing else, but…well, I see potential in his lack of care.)

But Subaru realized that he asked the worst possible question.

One that didn't distract him but sent him further down The Rabbit Hole.

"...The...Fuck." Subaru lightly touches his hair, messing it up, and covering his eyes. Mutters silently as he does it.

"Excuse me?"

"The fuck with that!" Subaru shouts to himself. This time, he could not ignore it.

Once again, someone he cared about wasn't a corpse only because of some sort of interference…..and he had no knowledge.

He had no knowledge because he ignored the past, rejected it.

"..."

"Are you okay?" Echidna asks. Instead of being cautious like Anastasia, she was worried for him.

She could feel the insane conflict inside of him.

"Don't put it in front of my fucking face! I had enough!" With that, he leaves the door and slams the door as he gets out. Not caring to hear whatever she might be saying…

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

ahahahahaH?! Don't fuck with me.

Some girl who is meant to die from mana poisoning conveniently finds one spirit that can save her.

She trips, and conveniently...'Slum Dweller' calls her 'Anastasia'.

Anastasia's body cannot produce enough mana, she would be dead if not for Echidna meeting with her…

"That name doesn't exist here..."

And suspiciously...This Greek name has a very fitting name.

Rebirth.

How can you be reborn…if you aren't dead?

Does that mean she was dead…before she was saved?

What about others…EmiliaPriscillaCruschFelt…DID THEY ALSO REBORN?

Even Felt, how did she survive the curse of her bloodline? And her name too…

It was indeed Vanity, making assumptions just from a name. But again…It didn't feel wrong.

"Wait a minute?! She has a perfect memory. She has to know who named her!" With that Subaru turns towards Anastasia's room.

Was it him? Was it him? Was it him? Was it him? Was it him? The one who saved Anastasia? Did he forget it? Was his previous time that close?

Who was it? Who arranged the meeting between the two of them?

"Oh? I see that you are rather eager to hunt a certain fox?" A very beautiful redhead calls out to him with the voice of a goddess—

"Tch. I don't have time." As Priscilla tries to stop him firmly with annoyance and jealousy, Subaru subconsciously taps into his unknown strength and shrugs her off with force.

Oozing with miasma because of his unstable mind, Natsuki Subaru was pursuing one single thing.

He opened her door.

"Oh? That's...way quicker than I expected." Echidna says but he ignores it.

"Who was it?"

"What?" Anastasia answers with confusion.

"The one who gave you the name?"

"That's...What's with that? I do not know, it's not like that's important."

"You literally can't forget things. Don't you have some genius memory? Not to mention can you really forget how you got your name?" He was sure of it. Subaru's memory was also incredibly detailed…not to mention this wasn't an unimportant event for her.

It wasn't in an age where she wasn't conscious...It was somewhere closer to ten years old. That's when she got her name. So she should remember.

That's what she thought, and yet…nothing came to mind.

And now listening to Subaru, Anastasia gets creeped out.

"...That's...weird." She mutters with utmost confusion, she is at a loss.

"How did I even get it?" Who called her that way? Not to mention...if she cannot remember how she got her name...Why did she say that thing about 'Hole'?

With that, Subaru had enough.

He slams the door without caring about giving her any further information.

"Why am I acting like I am clueless?"

That's what Natsuki Subaru did all the time.

But it was meaningless.

It's not like there isn't a function or person who names Archbishops anyway.

Names that originated from his world.

And possibly...originated from him.

The implications were massive. Perhaps he was responsible for so much.

"Are you going to ignore me again?"

"How did you survive?"

"...You do look like a madman, again." Priscilla sighed as she ignored Subaru's incomprehensible question.

"No. Scratch that, I already know that's not normal. What's the name you discarded?" Subaru already knew there wasn't a 'Priscilla' in the list of Vollachian royalty that went to war with each other. Russel confirmed it for him.

"...Natsuki Subaru. Come to your senses." Priscilla says with a firm voice.

"..."

"There is indeed a name that I discarded...And I was planning to tell you as well. But you are being blunt and unsightly. That type of behavior is…" It was an obvious disrespect, to ask a sensitive and important question just like that…and yet—

"Your choices don't matter." Subaru cuts her off as he ignores her justified anger.

"Cilla. Palmira...then what was there? Samaria. Tyra."

Subaru continues and continues.

He did this before, to get Capella's name out of Meili.

That was a mistake that hurt Meili.

Yet Subaru didn't care about that right now.

"Priscilia...Prisca."

"..."

"Prisca feels right."

Before, he needed a reaction from Meili's face. This time, Priscilla's reaction only confirmed it further.

For some reason, he felt like he didn't even need that. His 6th sense was strong when it comes to unnatural names that should not exist in this world.

"What...are you even…" Once again, Natsuki Subaru is the only person who can make Priscilla look like her brain stopped.

"It just has the same meaning huh? Haha. HAHAHAHAHA." Like a madman, he ignored her again.

With that, he left.

His ears caught what Priscilla said as he left.

"Love isn't just blind. At best, it's also deaf, at worst, it can neither smell nor feel any touch." She said all that, yet, that only meant that her feelings did not change, they didn't even shake.

It did warm his heart, truly.

But he was too focused to indulge in that feeling.

What should he do?

What should he do?

This weird mystery that he escaped for long...

"Subaru?"

A silver bell called out to him. It was Emilia's voice.

"Puck...too." He muttered to himself without looking at her.

Puck searched for Emilia for 400 years. He confirmed that with Beatrice.

Yet, when Emilia froze an entire forest. 100 years ago...Puck couldn't find her for 100 years.

It did not make sense.

It did not make sense.

It was just another inconsistency.

"Emilia...Let's talk later. I am thinking of something right now."

"Ah...I see, it's just...Subaru came into my room like that. I had weird thoughts." She said as the redness on her cheeks reached to her ears.

"What?" Subaru was confused, but he realized she wasn't lying.

He was in Emilia's room.

Perhaps he just wanted to escape things. The fact that everyone around him should've been dead but by some influence, they were alive.

And his connection to all key players in history. Things Subaru didn't want to know no matter what.

Emilia was indeed, his symbol of escapism.

In this world, when there were signs of things he wanted to ignore...Emilia was his first opportunity to escape from all that.

Embarrassing as it is to think that way, but perhaps that was the only true way Emilia saved him.

Her cluelessness too...saved him.

Her stagnation that he criticized as well.

"Subaru?"

"Yes?"

"Since you are here...Do you mind brushing my hair?"

"Oh, I see. Puck isn't here, right." With that, he mechanically reaches into a drawer, a lucky guess, as he finds a brush.

"Well...even if he was here. Subaru is better…..at this." Emilia smiles as she sits on a chair without back support, so that Subaru can freely reach her long hair.

"Huh. Well, that's expected. You don't know how much I made my mother's hair, then my cousin's too."

"Subaru's family...Can you tell me—"

"No," Subaru answers instantly.

"...Ah...That was kinda harsh."

"You don't need to be offended. I told no one about them. Not even Beatrice. In fact, I don't even think about them, or dare to think about them to be more specific."

"...Were your parents bad...people?"

"I worshiped them...and a while ago, I thought back and saw all of their mistakes, I acknowledge those faults. And decided I still love them. So I went back to not thinking about them."

"Why...is that? Why don't you talk or think about them?"

Subaru smiles.

"Anyone in this world thinking about them is an insult to them. Even if it's me."

The isekai escapism, it might be. Yet, the truth stands.

Subaru had his priorities, his family was more important than anything or anyone here. Emilia did not understand the true extent of that feeling.

But in the end, she could enjoy being close to Subaru as she shrugged off the conversation. Subaru calmed down as well and enjoyed Emilia's hair and her fresh, out-of-bath scent. Of course, that was something Emilia knew and silently agreed to as well.

After that, Subaru simply decided he might as well sleep there when the sun started to disappear.

But...

"He...really went to sleep." Emilia just closed her eyes and made sure she was conscious, but Subaru just fell asleep really quick, without doing anything.

That's not what Frederica told her. Not at all.

Despite that, it felt like it wasn't her fault, but Subaru's.

She pouted as she continuously pinched Subaru's face.

That night, Emilia learned that Subaru was a really heavy sleeper, similar to her but only at the beginning. He would not wake up no matter what.

But more importantly...

Hours passed without a stop, but Subaru's nightmares knew no end, no matter how much she waited and prayed.


Now, I'll just dump a lot of stuff. But before that...I hope I pulled Julius off! He is grown so much! UNLIKE LITERALLY ANYONE!

As I mention in that little note inside of the story. Anastasia's name is canon while I am the one who made it mysterious.

This is correct even with Crusch. There is a logical miscalculation from Tappei's side as we are told that there is a way to just make Rabbits go somewhere else and Crusch did it back then…But that can't be as arc 4 established them to be fearless monsters who have 0 preservation and only felt hunger. By all means, Crusch should've been dead.

For Emilia. Let me explain Puck's timeline.

400 y ago, as shown in that one side story goes where they fight against Dragons and Echidna saves the day…Puck just decides to leave to search for Emilia. He does this, however the events in Elior happened 300 years later, this means Puck had 100 years to find an entire forest filled with ice…..yet he couldn't. This is probably another thing Tappei didn't think of, but it's a mystery in this fic.

These 'plot holes in the history' makes Subaru go mad as he was ignoring this stuff for a long time, including the fact that all wicked sinful beings (Witch, Archbishop etc.) has either a star name or some Earth originated celestial name.

Not to mention Subaru's name literally on Pleiades Tower (Pleiades = Subaru for those who do not know)

And why the fuck this stuff happens. Well, the title is a hint, which I mentioned in many chapters before this in various ways, especially made it obvious in CH3 when Elsa and Meili talked about.

I think it's fair to say...these little weird bits happen because of that one Witch we have in this story and used only as a plot force in fanfics. Pandora.

In my story, she is a force that is not unlike Subaru who did stuff in the world. But their paths didn't cross, as they didn't cross each other. Pandora's reason for not questioning his existence will be revealed. Subaru's reason though…it's simply just that he doesn't want to acknowledge anything that might be about his past in this world.

And I also mentioned the parents lol. The Canon Re Zero is kind of ridiculous in this matter and it's quite pathetic tbh, Subaru just doesn't think about them, when Echidna asks about what they might be doing in real world and how they might be broken as their son disappeared, Subaru just answers with "I talked to them right here" as if trial parents are fucking real. Weird part is, a bit before he did acknowledge the place and people not being real. I disliked that so I don't do the same thing.

You might say Subaru here just doesn't think about it. Well, I do believe this is still better since he actually acknowledges the fucked upness of the situation unlike canon. Though let me say that it's not just that and we will see Subaru's BELIEF in what's going on with his parents overall.

We are very close to the appearance of bishops. Stay tuned… That is…If you still follow this story after weeks of not updating!

Overall, the true reason for delay was my life…unfortunately I am not successful in adapting really quickly to new things!

Anyways! See you later.