Chapter Ten: Heart of a Child

"I'm all ears," Carly said as she moved out of the doorframe to allow Freddie into her apartment.

"What the hell was all that about?" He demanded as he closed the door behind him.

"Sam feeling insecure about you and her, I feel sorry for her no one should have to feel like that,"

"Oh drop the act Carly, you've got no reason to feel anything towards Sam right now other than resentment and we all know why that is. Face it Carly when you told me you loved me you expected me to confess my love for you, because that's the kind of person you are,"

"What the hell are you talking about, I told you I loved you because we're both going away to college and I don't know when the next time I'll see you," She pleaded.

"Carly we're both in California, we can both drive and we're with spitting distances of each other. If you kept your mouth shut we would have been able to maintain a very healthy friendship," Freddie explained.

"Oh you don't know that for sure,"

"Maybe not but telling me you love me didn't help things, what we're you hoping for a relationship. You clearly don't think we'd be able to maintain a friendship within the same state so what makes you think we'd have a successful relationship?" He asked.

"More reason to try,"

"Carly I've know you the bulk of my life, our friendship was one of the most important things in the world to me, I'd have moved Caltech into Los Angeles if it meant we'd stay friends," Carly could only smile at his comment.

"Freddie that means a lot, why can't we just carry on as we were? It's better than nothing,"

"I can't shake the feeling that you said what you said to be vindictive against Sam. I don't know what's pitted you against each other like this but I can't have to setting out to hurt my girlfriend and then expecting us to still be friends, I know you're not stupid Carly so I don't know why you'd even suggest that,"

"Call it wishful thinking but I still want you in my life," Carly said.

"Look truthfully I wish you and Sam could work things out but as long as you two are at each other's throats like this for me it's you or her and the choice is clear to me." Carly wanted to say something else but the lump in her throat wouldn't allow her and so Freddie made his way over to the door and with nothing to stop him he left slamming the door behind him.

Sam wished she could go back to a time when she and Carly were friends, but too much had happened between them for Sam to see a way back for their friendship. It didn't feel like anything Carly could say would change how Sam felt and Sam couldn't think of anything she could say that would diffuse the tension short of breaking up with Freddie. That wasn't going to happen; the two of them had gone through too much to throw it away at the last minute. After her fight with Carly, all she wanted was to see Freddie but she couldn't stand being in that building another minute so she made her way across the street to the Groovy Smoothie and texted Freddie. At GS, come meet me xx. With that she ordered a smoothie and she waited. Freddie finally arrived half an hour later. "What took you so long?" Sam asked as he walked through the door.

"I had a run in with Carly, wanted to calm down before I came to see you,"

"You had a run in with Carly? How exactly?" She asked.

"Well I heard the commotion from you and her arguing so I went outside hoping to catch you as you were leaving instead I got her as she watched you leave. Then we started talking and she kinda got me worked up is all, I didn't want to see you with my emotions flying high like that," Freddie explained.

"Alright I guess I understand, I especially understand how Carly can get you worked up, underneath that happy sweet exterior is a vindictive and bitchy core, who knew,"

"I had my suspicions at times," Freddie said.

"Yeah right,"

"Course I did, why else would you have been friends with her?" He asked.

"I don't know, she kinda balanced me out, kept me calm and she was consistent and dependable, I needed that in my life, but now I have you." She smiled.

"Yep, and I'm going nowhere," He interlocked his fingers with hers and returned her smile. Their cosy moment was soon interrupted by the appearance of T-Bo.

"You gonna buy a smoothie or what?" He yelled at Freddie.

"Yeah sure, get me a Tinkleberry blitz," Freddie replied.

"Okay cool," He turned to leave when he turned round and revealed a stick impaled with muffins. "You wanna buy a muffin?" He asked.

"Get outta here T-Bo," Sam barked. Freddie and Sam turned to each other and smiled. It was just like old times.

For years, Sam had been going to therapy on and off. Ever since she had fallen for Freddie she had gone back to get her anger under control so she could be the kind of girl he would date. Evidently her plan had worked. When things got heated between her and Carly, Sam felt the need for a refresher session in anger management so she returned to her therapist for a one off appointment. She sat in his office starring at him as he read from a clipboard. "Sam, tell me about your relationship with Freddie," He asked as he looked up from his clipboard and made eye contact.

"What's to tell, he makes me happy. Sometimes I feel like a happy little child. Not that I really know how it feels to be a happy child," She said.

"Should we explore that further?" He asked.

"No, we've talked my childhood to death, it sucked let's move on,"

"What would you like to move onto Sam?" He asked.

"How about my backstabbing ex-best friend?" She asked.

"Whatever you like Samantha,"

"She told my boyfriend she had feelings for him, with the intention of stealing him from me. She knows how happy he makes me and she still went and tried to poach him,"

"Do you feel she'd be able to steal him?" He asked.
"Well yeah, have you seen Carly?"

"So you feel inferior to Carly and that given the chance Freddie would rather be with her. Perhaps that's why you're angry with her, not because she said what she said but because you think she's better than you and that makes you angry."

"Well she's always been more liked, that's just a fact. She's girlier, friendlier, and prettier. She's just a delight to be around, if you're on her good side."

"Sam who are you really mad at here?" He asked.

"Carly," Sam said bluntly.

"Is it Carly, or is it yourself because you feel like you don't measure up to, as you call her your former best friend."

"See this is why I stopped coming to see you, I don't like making progress," Sam snapped. Could her therapist be right? Could she be madder at herself than at Carly, did she really still feel inferior to her former best friend and did she really think Freddie would jump ship the first chance he got. Maybe she did owe Carly an apology, maybe she owed Freddie an apology for not trusting him. Maybe she needed to forgive herself for not being Carly. All she knew was that by the time her hour was up, she had some serious thinking to do.