Chapter Fourteen: Lonely in a Crowd
Sam stormed out of the apartment and lacking the patience to wait for the elevator she headed straight for the stairs. How could she have been so stupid, Freddie and Carly lived across the hall from each other, she had been naive to think they wouldn't see each other and makeup, Freddie had always been weak when it came to Carly and he was generally more forgiving than she was. How could she move to another state with someone when she clearly had trust issues? She loved Freddie but after seeing how quickly she assumed the worst, she had to question if she was ready to give up everything and move away with him.
She didn't have long to dwell on the consequences of her actions before she heard heavy footsteps behind her and turned to see Freddie running after, he seemed a little surprised to catch her so quickly but quickly regained his composure.
"I told you not to follow me," Sam snapped at him.
"Actually, you didn't,"
"Oh, well I meant to,"
"Sam, I don't know what you think you saw in there but nothing was going on, Carly just wanted to clear the air," Freddie said, for the most part, he was just repeating what Carly had already said but he was at a loss at what to say to his girlfriend. It ultimately came down to whether or not she trusted that he was telling the truth.
"I don't know what to think," Sam sighed leaning against the wall of the stairwell. "When I saw Carly open your door it was like this rage came over me, I think it was the first time in my life I wanted to hurt her," Carly had always been the exception to Sam's otherwise violent tendencies, but the recent actions of her former best friend were making her reconsider that.
"You can't hit Carly, she's your best friend," Freddie said.
"Have you been paying attention to anything that's happened this summer?" Sam snapped.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Sam, I thought things between you and Carly were improving but clearly I was wrong,"
"They were, I thought they were, but then I saw her with you," She buried her face in her hands and took a deep breath before she continued. "I don't trust her around you," Sam hated herself for saying it, she and Carly had been friends since they were children but everything that had happened recently had felt like betrayal from the one person she thought would never do that to her.
"Well, what about me?" Freddie asked. "Do you trust me around her?" Sam considered the question. It should have been an easy question to answer and the fact it wasn't was an immediate concern for her. Freddie had done everything she could have asked him to prove he was committed to being with her. He left his girlfriend, rebuffed Carly's original advances, he had invited her to move to California with him which had been above and beyond what Sam had expected from him and yet her gut was still telling her something different.
"No," She said quietly.
"Then you don't trust me," Freddie said simply.
"No, I do trust you, just not with her, it's Carly," Sam hated herself for the words that poured out of her but if she couldn't say them then, she'd never be able to say them.
"You can't pick and choose when you trust me, I love and want to be with you, if you don't believe that, if you don't trust that I'd choose you over her every time, then maybe we shouldn't be together at all," The words stung Freddie to say them and Sam to say them. Carly had been a forbidden topic all summer long and it had become clear why, because she would ultimately be their downfall. Sam had spent years watching Freddie fawn all over the brunette, how could she have doubts that when she finally returned his long-held feelings he might have some part of him that preferred Carly over her?
"Freddie…"
"Carly isn't going away Sam, we might not see her every day but she will still be in our lives, I love you not her, if you can't trust and believe that, then we're done," Sam remained silent, everything inside her wanted to dispute what he had said but at that moment she knew that as long as Carly was on the scene there would be a part of her waiting for something to happen between them. Freddie sighed, Sam's silence told him everything he needed to know. "Then I guess we're done" Sam nodded, hiding her face from view as tears began to stream down her face.
Freddie sat down on one of the steps behind him, that morning he had woken up excited for his final day before he and Sam moved to California, in the space of a few hours they had instead broken up. "I should go," He said looking up at Sam who continued to face from view, he could just about make out the nodding of her head. "I love you Sam," Freddie repeated before he turned and made his way back to the door he had entered through leaving Sam alone in the stairwell.
Freddie couldn't believe how things had fallen apart so quickly. He had spent weeks avoiding Carly which had proven to be difficult given their proximity and the first time he finally engaged with her, Sam walked in and assumed the worst. At least he would be leaving for college in the morning and wouldn't have to dwell on everything while still being in Seattle. He would have a fresh start, it just wasn't going to be the fresh start he had been expecting. The excitement Freddie had felt that morning as he prepared to start his new life with Sam had been replaced by something else. Something far less optimistic.
