*Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

#

#

Where the Lines Overlap

Season 1 - Stuck on You

Can I die just a little?

"So, what do you say? Wanna go with me?" Rosie's voice reached my ears but I couldn't remember what she was talking about.

We were on the road to the lake, almost getting there, but I'd spent most part of the one-and-a-half-hour trip in silence, mulling over what was happening to me.

"Go where?" I asked absent-mindedly, keeping my stare at the passing landscape outside my window.

"I was talking to Edward, big bro." Rosalie answered in a smiling voice.

"Your sister is trying to convince me to take her out on a date." Edward said in his usual humourous tone.

I looked at him beside me, aware of the skeptical expression on my face. And although he wasn't looking at me, his eyes fixed on the windshield focused on the road ahead, I could easily tell that he wasn't his normal collected self at that very moment. There was something in his stance, I just couldn't figure out what it was.

"What…?!" The question simply flowed from me in a monotone before I could even think of holding it back.

He looked at me sporting a cheeky smile, but it faded as quickly as he saw my frown.

"Are you kidding me?!" It just came out in a deep and slightly harsh voice I didn't even recognize.

Promptly I could feel my face getting red in both anger and embarrassment.

Edward averted his eyes, confusion was written all over his face. He didn't say a thing.

"Why?" Rosalie inquired, leaning forward between the front seats so she could almost look at me. "We can't go out?"

Before I could answer I noticed Edward's face again. He was nibbling his lower lip and frowning. I couldn't decide if he looked hesitant or confused. But whichever it was, it did say a lot, at least to me that knew his mannerisms well. He was mulling over my reaction.

But why? Did he want to go out with my sister?

"You can do whatever you want, Rose." I snarled at her. "I don't care."

"Why are you suddenly so bitter?" She retorted, sitting back.

I didn't reply. She wasn't expecting an answer anyway. Instead, I was berating myself for my ridiculous behavior.

There was no problem with Edward going out with Rose. In fact, he was a better choice than the scumbags she'd been seeing those days. But I simply wasn't able to control myself, the idea of them together had gotten me so instantly annoyed…

And for the rest of the trip, we remained in a taut silence which made me even more fidgety.

After what seemed like hours, we arrived at the dirt road and Edward's Dodge Durango came to a stop. Rosalie left the car first, clearly upset. I would have gotten out next if it wasn't for my best friend's deep voice.

"You have no intention of telling me what's bothering you, huh...?"

I loosened the hold I had on the doorknob and looked at him. He still wasn't looking at me. Instead, he was gazing at his hands on his lap.

"You wanna go out with her?" I asked in an inquiring tone, even though I was trying to control myself. The truth was, I was too riled up to care how I sounded.

"I'm not sure that's why you're acting like this." He spoke calmly before finally turning his eyes to me. "But if I wanted to… Would it really be a problem?"

I don't know what exactly he saw on my face but, although I didn't answer his question, mostly because I was too afraid I would tell him the whole truth at once, he got it.

"Why?" His voice came out low and hesitant. He was obviously puzzled.

Why?

I repeated his question in my head a billion times in mere two seconds, deep down knowing the reason pretty well.

I knew that feeling…

Even though I had felt it only once before, because of the only girl I thought I had loved, I knew that damn feeling very fucking well…

It was jealousy. Uncontained, flaring, pure and simple jealousy.

"I'm jealous." I spat out.

I didn't wait to see his reaction. I just hopped out of the car and left.

I didn't worry too much, though. I convinced myself that he would certainly think I'd been driven by some sort of sibling protective instinct which I, for sure, should've had in me.

However, that couldn't be farther from the truth. I wasn't reacting out of concern for Rosalie... I was reacting out of jealousy of her.

This notion, and everything else I was assimilating that I was feeling for Edward, was sinking in deep and fast and propelled me to get away from him as quickly as I could, to protect myself.

"Jasper, wait…" I heard him saying before I hurried past Rosie and kept walking along the track, my mind in total turmoil.

My God! I am angry at the fucking possibility of my best friend wanting to date my sister? How did I end up here? And so damn fast?!

I'd always known Rosalie had a crush on Edward, this wasn't new even for him. But he'd never taken it seriously, he'd never been interested… And I was pretty sure I would've never been so distressed because of it... Not if I hadn't found out that I wanted him for myself.

Fuck, I really wanted him for myself…

I couldn't even fully comprehend what that meant yet.

How could I have not noticed it happening? Where did these fucking feelings come from?

And then, just as abruptly as my recent realization, this gut feeling forced me to be honest with myself.

This wasn't new. Even if I looked superficially back at our relationship, I had to admit... There had always been something... I simply ignored what it was this whole time... Maybe because I wasn't consciously aware, maybe because I wasn't ready to understand, or maybe, probably, because I was too afraid to accept it.

After all, I wasn't gay. I knew that for sure. I had never, ever, felt the slightest attraction to a guy before…

But since everything had always been different regarding Edward, I shouldn't have expected anything less. He'd always been more important than anything or anyone else... I knew he'd always been so much more than a friend, he'd always been like family, and for sure he was a huge part of my life... Although… This was entirely something else.

I was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I was into my best friend, but it was real.

And apparently, I couldn't repress it.

.

.

.

My birthday celebrations changed after I turned fifteen. I didn't want the traditional barbecue my father offered to his friends and workmates anymore, first because those weren't my parties, and second, because he used to use a day that was supposed to be about joy to put me down. So as soon as my mother said I was a young man and could decide how I wanted to celebrate my birthday, I told the family I would be spending this day with my friends. No parties, no restaurants, just a good group gathering with lots of laughter, some smuggled beers, whatever food we got, and something fun to do.

My father didn't care at all. He'd said that birthdays were not that important anyway, which explained a lot. But of course, he wouldn't have missed the chance to reassert his supreme authority. So he demanded that birthday breakfasts were to be spent at home with the family. Not negotiable.

My mother didn't like my decision as she'd rather have me for her, as she proudly stated constantly, but she respected my resolve and tried her best not to show her disappointment.

So an arrangement had been made. From then on I would have breakfast with my family and Edward, and after that, I was free to enjoy the rest of the day with my gang, completely informally and having fun.

But that wasn't the case at the moment.

I was totally lost. Lost in thoughts, lost to the party happening around me, lost to my friends. I didn't know how to behave, what I could say, and most importantly, what I should do. I was completely at loss.

I was sitting beside Bella, my bestie as she would usually put it. I considered her my best friend too, but my connection with her was completely different from mine with Edward, obviously.

I trusted her just as much, though. And she was a great person to be with whenever you were confused or sad and didn't feel like talking about it. She would just sit next to you, give you moral support, and offer her ears if you wanted to vent, but she wouldn't say a word nor ask anything if you were to remain quiet.

I was overwhelmed by my latest epiphany and couldn't interact much, so she was kind of shielding me from our friends' curiosity.

From where I sat I could see almost everybody. Emphasis on the "almost". The one person I was eager to locate, and at the same time was trying to avoid, was the only one I couldn't see.

I wasn't sure how to feel about that. I couldn't decide whether I was sad or relieved.

"Edward is coming here, do you want me to stay?" Bella asked hushedly.

She didn't know what was happening to me or what had happened in the car, but she knew I was avoiding him. She was that observant.

I didn't move an inch from my position on the grass, I simply leaned forward, resting my forehead on my bent knees, and sighed.

"It's okay." I assured her with another sigh.

I felt Bella's hand on my arm before his presence engulfed me in one huge wave of intense awareness. I was perplexed by how I was able to feel his heat from where I was.

Oh my God, I'm so fucking screwed.

Since I was completely aware, not only of his presence but also of what I was feeling as a consequence, the unnerving warm sensation was almost too much for me to bear. I clenched my hands in fists.

"Can we talk?" He asked, and I was able to hear the distress in his voice.

I raised my head and looked straight forward.

"I'm not mad at you, Edward." I said sincerely. "I'm sorry I was so… Rude. In the car and also at my house, I just…" I took a deep breath, convincing myself I should give him something to work with, I couldn't just say nothing. "I'm not okay, and I don't want to talk about it but, it was unfair of me to take it out on you…" I looked at him, surprised to notice that he seemed a little shaken.

He wasn't even looking at me, his eyes focused on the grass he was plucking unmercifully from the ground between his folded legs.

"I'm really sorry." I added in a puff.

He sighed, seeming really upset and it got me confused. Our brief exchange of words had been no more than that. Besides, we'd argued before. We'd even been on the outs for a little while after I broke up with Alice, my first real girlfriend, and all along he'd kept his cool, he remained levelheaded as always.

"Besides this thing with Rose…" He sounded really wary. "Have I done something that upset or hurt you?" He asked in an unusually cautious voice. "You've been acting weird around me for a while." He finally turned his eyes to me, and they were downcast. "Today it seemed like a culmination of something that's been piling up." He inhaled deeply and looked away. "I know you too well, I can see when you're holding something back and when you can't withhold it anymore and that's what's just happened."

What could I have said? He was, as usual, completely right.

"Just tell me what I've done and I'll try to fix it."

"You've done nothing wrong…" I murmured, disgusted with myself and my selfishness.

It was then clear that I was hurting him, without a real reason, when nothing I was facing was his fault. Just because I was too caught up in what I was feeling, my fears and insecurities, to realize I'd been treating him poorly. He didn't deserve any of my bullshit. It wasn't his fault if I'd suddenly found myself attracted to him and was totally frustrated by the fact that I didn't know what to do with it.

"So what's the problem?" He seemed almost desperate to understand. "Why are you so distant lately?"

I knew I'd been diffident, a little too quiet, often distracted, and sometimes even aloof, but as he acknowledged all that, it hit me that I'd actually been avoiding him constantly for a while. Even when we were together I'd been unusually reticent.

"You've realized it just now, haven't you?" He chuckled humorlessly, looking skeptically at me.

I nodded, having no other way to express my agreement.

Edward looked down with a sad smile on his lips. "Nothing has really changed between us…" His voice was low, pensive. "We still do the same things we've always done together…" He sighed heavily. "But something is different. So different that…" He cut himself off and heaved a sigh.

"I'm sorry, E… It's not…" I tried to apologize, but he didn't let me finish, still caught up in his reflections.

"It used to be easy for me... To read you, you know…" It was a rhetorical question. "But nowadays…" He shook his head before raising it, focusing his gaze on some random point ahead.

"Nowadays…?" I encouraged him to complete his thought, my voice low and cautious.

Edward looked me straight in the eyes, his gaze so intense that I felt my whole body wobble immediately.

"You're hiding something." He stated with such certainty it baffled me. "You've been hiding something from me."

Suddenly I couldn't breathe.

Did he know? But I'd just realized it, how could he know?

"You can't even hold my gaze…" He added, and I noticed I was looking at his chin and not at his eyes anymore.

Silence settled between us. I wanted to be able to tell him, I really did. It was my basic instinct, to tell him anything I thought, to share everything I experienced but, I couldn't. This time I couldn't. He wouldn't understand. And since I didn't know what else I could say to make him feel better, I remained quiet, afraid of showing the minimum sign of what I was feeling towards him.

"I just want to remind you that there's nothing that can drive me away from you. You know that, right?" He asked gently. "Whatever this is, you don't need to be afraid of telling me." He assured me. "I'll respect your time, and the space you need. But, I'll be right here, as always, when you figure it out and feel comfortable enough to talk about it."

His words kinda scared me a little, because it almost sounded as if he suspected the truth. I dismissed this possibility instantly, though. He wouldn't have been that kind and caring to me if that was the case.

I smiled tentatively at him.

"I know, E." I replied softly. "Thank you…"

He smiled and shook his head, then leaned sideways in my direction and bumped his shoulder into mine.

"It's your birthday. You're supposed to be having fun." He used his humorous tone again. "Let's go grab a beer." He suggested with his crooked smile and stood up.

I took the hand he offered me and pushed myself from the ground at the same time he pulled me up. Our strengths combined provoked our bodies to clash and I would have fallen backward, since I was the lighter one, if Edward hadn't held me promptly, preventing my fall by circling my waist with his left arm.

It all happened quickly, but for an instant, we were really close… So close I could feel his breath on my face. I felt as if I was made of jelly as he looked at me with those fierce grayish-blue eyes of his.

"Careful." He uttered in a very deep tone.

I felt a shiver run up my spine.

He let go of me fluidly and then we were apart, walking side by side towards the cooler as if nothing had happened.

From then on everything seemed to go back to normal. After our talk, I wasn't feeling so troubled anymore and even got distracted from my emotions at some moments. Edward never left my side for long, and I tried not to fall into my late behavior, which made him act completely at ease once again. And so by then, I understood that his walking on eggshells around me from the prior weeks was just his way of respecting the time he thought I needed to sort my shit out.

It was a little hard for me, being well aware then that there was a very real reason for me to notice him so much, but I could handle it. For the time being, at least. Besides, I got to earn so many of his endearing smiles I was kind of dazzled.

"You seem happy, but I know better. You're confused as hell." Bella's voice reached me gently when she leaned her head on my shoulder. It made me smile even though the truth in her words agitated me.

"I'm okay, really." I replied while reaching for her face with my raised hand, without turning to her.

Bella encircled my waist from behind and sighed, making me feel dear. Some time ago it would have made my day, but now it was different… And for so many reasons.

We'd been friends for almost seven years since she moved here from Los Angeles with her family. But it wasn't until I broke up with Alice, after finding out that she had been cheating on me, that I was struck with a sudden crush on Bella.

Of course, nothing happened. She had been in love with our huge friend, Emmet (who happened to be not only my best friend's best buddy but also my ex-girlfriend's big brother and my sister's ex) since the first time she met him at school. And I'd been pretty much a manwhore by the time I approached her, so, not a chance in there. But she was dear. She treated me with tenderness and made me understand that I was only after someone to clean up my wounds and cure me of my heartache.

From then on we became confidants. She confided in me her love for Emmet. I trusted her with secrets that only Edward knew. I trusted her as I trusted him, and she knew me almost as well as Edward, with the basic difference that I didn't need to say much for her to get what I was going through. Ever. She was really intuitive.

"One of these days you'll figure it all out." She said with a smile on her tone, letting me go as I turned to her and she planted a chaste kiss on my lips.

"I hope so." I smiled back, feeling light because of her presence. "What about you? You haven't gotten what you want, yet… Aren't you going to do something? You should have acted a while ago, don't you think?" I hinted while laughing slightly. "What's taking you so long?"

Bella blushed but didn't duck her head. She was very self-confident and didn't get embarrassed or intimidated easily. And I loved it about her.

"I can't put up with him." She answered with an eye roll. "I like him a lot, what's new there? But I can't be with him for more than five minutes without getting pissed… So…" She shrugged.

Yeah. That's why he was best known as "B's tormentor". Emmet in fact was the only person able to make Bella lose her everlasting cool since he never failed to annoy her with his antics. I knew there was something there, actually. She was the only one he liked to prank that much. I was pretty sure that, when the right time came and he decided to take his head out of his ass, he would realize what he obviously felt for her, and they would finally be together.

"I've told you… You need to take matters into your own hands. The guy is clueless about the way he really feels."

"Oh, c'mon, Jazz…" She fidgeted. "Not again with the he-likes-you-but-doesn't-know-it theory! The guy simply likes to make fun of me. He always has. Besides, he's still pining for your sister…"

"So you're clueless too…" I faked surprise.

"Stop it." She waved one hand at me, dismissing my theory once again. "I'm just his punching bag since… forever." She added in a sneering tone.

"If you say so…" I made my poker face, pretending I was buying it.

"Who likes whom and doesn't know it?" Came his question from behind me, and Bella's face became amused.

Out of nowhere, I was hoping he would make the same move Bella had made when she reached me, but of course, I knew better than that. He would never lean his head on my shoulder nor wrap his arms around my waist from behind. Edward was as straight as an arrow. Like I used to be… before finding out I was attracted to him.

Nevertheless, I was still pretty aware of his heat on my back and his scent surrounding me.

"And I'm the clueless one?" Bella asked in a hushed tone, looking suggestively at me, her brows raised.

Wait, what?!

"What are you two talking about?" Edward asked unfazed, while I was trying to keep my cool.

Had Bella noticed? She was extremely observant, as I said, but… Not even I knew, I mean, really knew, until that very day… So I had never confided that to her. How could she know?

"You know how Jazz thinks the big guy likes me but doesn't know it." It seemed to me Bella was temporizing. And it was not on her behalf.

"Yep! And you know I think so too." Edward agreed, and I was getting increasingly nervous by his standing behind me.

"I think you guys are deluded." Bella replied laughing.

I was starting to breathe heavily, I could feel Edward's body too close, enticing me to lean on him. I was not going to endure this so new torture much longer...

"I think you should take matters…" Edward began.

"In my hands." Bella completed. "You guys are so the same…" She shook her head. "You even think alike..."

I smiled nervously, trying hard to think of something to get me out of that torment without both of them perceiving how affected I was. But things only got worse with Edward's next words.

"We're twin souls." Edward spoke in the most serene tone as if he had said nothing much.

Bella's eyes were immediately on mine, fierce and questioning. The smile that enlightened her face was amazed, much so as mine would have been if I could have reacted. But I couldn't. I was literally paralyzed, afraid that my body would betray my surprise and my sudden and unexpected delight.

He thought of us as twin souls…? That was new to me. I knew he considered me like family, like part of his life, but, twin souls?

"I'll go grab another beer, do you guys want one?" Bella's voice reached me and ripped me out of my musings. She was temporizing again, but I wasn't sure on whose behalf…

"I'm okay." Edward answered.

"I-I'll want one." I stammered ridiculously still a little caught up in my awe.

And soon Bella was nowhere near us, and I didn't know what to do. Edward didn't seem inclined to come and stay in front of me and I was quickly losing control. My heart rate was so fast I felt kinda dizzy, and I could tell my cheeks were burning up.

"Your hair looks nice like this… " His voice was so low I wasn't sure he'd really said that. "You should keep..." he didn't get to finish what he was saying.

I don't know what came over me, but between the "twin souls" thing and the "whispering" thing I was going insane and he was kind of asking for it with that attitude. So I turned in a swift movement and stared at him, immediately shutting him up mid-sentence with my glare.

I really didn't have a clue about what I was doing or what I wanted to or could accomplish, but I suddenly felt like intimidating him. He used to do that with me all the time with so much as a direct look or serious stare, and I needed to test if I had the same power over him. Of course, facing him from four inches below didn't help matters but, I was close enough to make him feel at least uncomfortable with the proximity and force him to react one way or another.

We just stared at each other for the longest of moments. And even though I was terribly nervous, I didn't back down when he held my gaze. He didn't back down either. Actually, He seemed completely unperturbed.

"If I didn't know the womanizers you both are, I'd say you're about to kiss."

Jacob's heavy voice disrupted the moment for me, but Edward acted like nothing much had happened again. He simply smiled amused, looking pointedly at me before redirecting his eyes to our friend without moving an inch.

I turned, feeling as shaken and frustrated as I'd never been in my life. And I got the chance to pull away from him some more just for my sanity's sake.

"We know too much of each other. It would definitely be a disaster if we became lovers, it would never work." Edward said in his everlasting humorous tone and laughed.

Jacob followed him but I didn't. I felt immediately bad. His statement was a screaming answer to my unasked question.

He would never even consider the possibility of us.

Bella arrived with the beer at that point, and I grabbed the tin as if my life depended on it. I finished it in one huge gulp and left them talking with the excuse I was taking another.

I don't remember much from then on. I know I drank the most I could, and that, at some point, Edward was next to me again, but I'm not sure how I got home, who put me in the shower or took me to bed. All I know is that I woke up at dawn, clean, in my sleep pants, and on my bed.

But I wasn't alone...