Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

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Where the Lines Overlap

Season 1 - Stuck on You

Closer

An odd brightness forced itself through my eyelids, and I woke up unwillingly. I looked out the window and frowned at the outrageous beautiful day.

Fucking Wednesday.

It seemed like a day to be happy, but I was so moody already, even before getting up, that the sunny weather was almost offensive.

One whole week. Fuck!

Edward had been away for a whole week. I was out of my mind because of his absence. I felt like the order of the universe was all wrong, upside down or something.

Yeah, I knew it was an exaggeration 'cause, for fuck damn sake, Edward and I had been away from each other many times before, so it shouldn't feel so weird not to have him around. Although, however ridiculous it sounded, I was practically going crazy with anxiety.

I was trying so hard to get a grip but, apparently, I was unable to control my feelings so I was all over the place. The worst part was that we hadn't talked again since the previous Friday and I had no news about when he was coming back.

"Jay, are you awake?"

My sister's voice was the last sound on earth I needed to hear. She only reminded me that maybe, probably, Edward had a thing for her and I was likely to soon be enduring a big heartache in secret if they got together.

Anyway, she was my younger, my only, sibling, and she didn't have a clue about what was going on or how deeply I was envying her. So I turned to the door and looked at her.

"Unfortunately." I answered.

She giggled.

"Good morning, big bro. Why are you so moody so early in this beautiful morning?" She asked while coming to my bed.

Rosalie sat by my side on the mattress and I sat up and leaned my back on the headboard.

"My life sucks." I summed up to her. "Why are you so cheery?"

"Oh, nothing really." She smiled a cheeky smile and her dimples made an appearance. "I've just made a decision that will probably allow something that I've been longing for in a while to happen…" Her green eyes glimmered.

I squinted and, as she started to babble, I took a moment to assimilate two things.

First, she looked so much like me… The same dimpled smile, the same ocean green eyes, the same facial features, and the same hair texture. If it wasn't for her light blond hair, the fact that we were of different genders, and the two-year age gap between us, we could pass as identical twins.

If Edward thought that she was beautiful (which was probable since he liked her), would he think so of me too?

And second, was she talking about what I thought she was?

"Earth to Jasper!" Rosalie snapped her fingers in front of my face making me blink and focus. "Where did you go, big bro? Did you hear a word I said?

"Not really." I mumbled annoyed. "What did you say?"

I didn't want to, but I was treating her very coldly. The truth was, it wasn't needed for Edward to be near her to make me jealous. I had just realized that her mere presence elicited the feeling, simply because I was aware that she was the one Edward wanted. At least apparently.

"I was telling you…" She started babbling again, rolling her eyes, and I tried to focus on what she was saying even though I had a sudden urge to ignore her altogether. "There's going to be this party at Lauren's house on Friday, and I really want to go, but you know, she lives in South Bay, so it's too far to take a bus. I was actually going with Bella but she told me she's not gonna make it 'cause she has to go with her mother to Seattle, and then I asked Dad to take me there but he said that I should ask you to take me there cause he has to be in bed early on Friday 'cause he has that training camp on Saturday, and mom hates to drive, even more so to a place that's so far away from the house, and I don't have a car yet, and you remember what dad told you when he gave you the Vanquish."

"You really said all that in less than twenty seconds?" I asked in an extremely ironic tone. "How could you breathe?"

"Smartass." She gave it back to me while narrowing her eyes. "So…?"

I sighed impatiently.

I didn't want to do anything for her at that moment since she was, unknowingly yeah, but still kinda my rival. But then again, she was completely unaware of my feelings for Edward and, even if she wasn't, I had no right to take my frustration out on her.

So I controlled my slight anger and swallowed the will to tell her to go to hell.

"And you couldn't wait till later to ask me this…" I squinted again.

"I was too anxious. Besides, I need to answer Lauren today and I'm already late for the girls' meeting."

It was my turn to roll my eyes.

"I'll take you there, but you'll have to find a ride home." I mumbled grudgingly. "I am definitely not staying up late or waking up in the middle of the night to pick you up."

She smiled her dimpled smile once more, and I almost felt guilty to be such a douche to her. Almost. I was too caught up in my own damn chagrin to worry that much.

"No problem, big bro. Taking me there is enough." She winked and leaned toward me. "You're the best." And she kissed my cheek.

Then I couldn't avoid the fucking guilt.

Rosalie stood up and walked to the door. Once more I was acting against my will, but this time it was imperative that I did so.

"Rose." I called her and she turned to me at the doorsill. "What were you talking about when you said you had made a decision?"

Her whole face lit up and her smile was so broad that her dimples got even more evident. Something in her stance disturbed me. I shook slightly.

"If everything goes the way I plan, you'll know soon enough." She finished arching her brows up, giving me a pointed look and turning away.

I simply didn't have it in me to confirm my suspicion, so I let her walk out of my room without uttering another word.

My mind was a hundred miles per hour, though.

I knew she was planning to get to Edward… And I was scared to death that she would get what she wanted.

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Thursday passed in a blur. I got up late 'cause I simply couldn't sleep the night before. I spent the little free time I had before work trying to convince myself to call Edward and ask him when he was coming back but I never went further than opening the speed dial screen. I worked more than I should have just because I needed the distraction. I went straight home by the end of the day. I didn't eat much, I went straight to my room after saying a very haggard good night to my mom, and again I stayed up till three in the morning when sleep finally claimed me.

On Friday, Thursday's nightmare repeated itself partly. I spent my day in a haze of frustration and longing. I lost count of how many times I sighed and took deep breaths to try and calm down my heart. There was this anguish that I simply couldn't push away, and my heart was so heavy in my chest that I couldn't breathe well.

It was so strange to feel that way. I'd never been so troubled before. And for something that wasn't a real problem...

Anyway, I went through the day. And by the beginning of the evening, I was feeling down but I was managing. Barely.

I took Rosalie to the party. I hardly spoke for a long while but she didn't seem to notice anything, she was babbling about random things, as usual. Only when she said unabashedly that she wished Edward were there, I had sort of a reaction… I cringed discreetly. And once she asked me about when he was coming back, I kind of chastised her, saying that she was too young for Edward and shouldn't hit on him because that made her look easy. She just dismissed me saying I was too protective of her.

She didn't have a clue. I was actually a terrible brother...

Well, after leaving her in a girls-filled hell, I came back home hoping that all the stress of the last few days would knock me out and I would finally have a good night's sleep.

I couldn't have been more mistaken…

I slept, yes. But I had such a restless sleep that it seemed I had spent the night awake.

So, there I was, alone in my house's backyard, Saturday early morning, lying down on the grass with my eyes fixed on the reminiscent stars above me, feeling the crappy night effect dissipate slowly from my mind as I relaxed and wondered if nine days weren't time enough for Carlisle and Edward to organize what was needed for our move to Providence.

I missed him so much that it was almost ridiculous. I knew it was like that because of these new feelings, and because his absence had enhanced them, I wouldn't say otherwise…

We hadn't spoken to each other since that weird call and it was getting increasingly strange not having him around. It seemed to me that my need for his constant presence was intensifying every day we spent away from each other.

I just wanted him to arrive as soon as possible. Even though I still didn't have any idea about what I was going to do with the whole shit that I was feeling…

After a deep sigh, I sat up and folded my legs, closing my eyes for an instant. It would be a while till sunrise, and I would sit there and wait for the warmth of the first sunbeams. I was feeling so cold and lonely...

Then my heart jolted. Out of nowhere. But as the warm feeling I was so well acquainted with those days filled me, I understood.

I took a deep breath while my lips stretched in a spontaneous and large smile. Then something covered my head.

A cap.

I didn't move an inch.

"You're a Bear now." He said as I felt him joining me on the lawn, his tone seeming content.

God! It was so good to hear his voice… I trembled.

I exhaled heavily before opening my eyes and looking forward, I was kind of afraid to look to the side. I held the cap's flap and took it off, bringing it in front of me. I smiled even broader when I saw the Brown Bear paw printed on the cap sides and the big "B" on the front. It was all I could do to avoid doing what I really wanted, which was to look at him at once.

"Who could've known that my skinny shy best friend would become a brilliant basketball college player…" He recited with clear pride.

I finally looked at him, barely containing the joy that flooded me instantaneously as his beautiful face came into sight, my heart pounding faster. He smiled at me and I could feel myself melting.

Say something you idiot! Unless you want him to realize you're so into him.

"And would get into an Ivy League university…" I completed it with a surprisingly linear tone. "Or join the pre-med program…"

"These I've always known you were capable to pull off." He assured. "The athletic part is the actual surprise."

We laughed a little. And suddenly it didn't seem he had been away for almost two weeks. It felt like the whole shit I had gone through in his absence had never happened.

Odd.

My heart started to calm down and I realized it was too early in the morning for him to be there.

"When did you arrive?" The question practically slipped from my mouth.

"Just now." He answered simply. "I was passing by in the car with dad, and I saw the post light on…" He pointed to the post on the corner of my backyard and shrugged. "I know you come here when you can't sleep." He sighed.

He knew me so damn well…

"You're not tired? It's five in the morning and I bet you didn't sleep during the flight here." I said in a light tone.

The smile he gave me was so fucking beautiful… And I just knew he had understood I was showing him that I knew him as well as he knew me.

"A little." He admitted it. "I just wanted to give you the cap…" He stopped talking kinda briskly and pursed his lips while shaking his head slightly.

It was subtle, and I wasn't sure, but it seemed he had cut himself off before the real end of his sentence.

I kept waiting for the rest but it never came. And then his cheeks started to redden.

Was he embarrassed? But why?

I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable, so I started speaking the first thing that came to my mind.

"How did you get it?" I asked holding the cap up, dazzled with how the blue in his eyes was glowing so much.

"Oh, I have my ways, you know that." His voice was joyful.

The awkward moment passed.

We laughed a little again before he proceeded.

"OK, actually, one of the times I went to the university with my father, to hand in your documents and some of mine, we bumped into the basketball team coach." he explained with enthusiasm. "It happens that my father and your future trainer were college mates. So they started to talk and my dad told him my best friend was one of his new acquisitions. He asked your name and when I told him…" He paused, making an amazed face. "He was so enthusiastic about you playing for the Bears… he was the one who chose you. He was the one who saw last season's games. Remember I told you there was a Brown scout on the bleachers during finals?" I nodded. "So, he said that he was astounded by your skills and that you were the first one to be recruited among the nine he did so."

"Really?" I was perplexed.

"Really! C'mon, Jay, you know you're that good." he paused again, lightly elbowing me. "Then he gave me the cap and asked me to give it to you so you'd know you're already a Bear."

I put the cap back on my head, feeling a little proud of myself and happy as hell because my future coach was so thrilled to have me on his team. But frankly? I was happier 'cause Edward was proud of me.

He put his hand on my shoulder.

"Happy?" He asked, knowing too well the answer to that.

"I've never been more excited about something in my entire life." I grinned like an idiot.

"You should see our apartment. We're less than five minutes from campus, and we have a great view of the city. Besides, we have a spare room, which means…" He gave me the cue.

"We'll have the gang hanging out with us there."

"Yeah."

We nodded and smiled, and then, maybe, probably, overwhelmed by all the joy I was feeling for finally having him back there, this impulsiveness came out of nowhere, compelling me to spill my next words without a filter.

"I missed you."

It was just a whisper, but I could identify the intensity I put in my voice unconsciously. And by the face Edward immediately made, so did he.

My face warmed up and I bent my head, looking at my hands. Suddenly I was terrified of his reaction. I'd spoken too much.

Damn it, Jasper! Way to go! Now pray for him to be really tired and distracted. Cause if he's not, for damn fucking sure he'll get everything.

Edward sighed deeply, which automatically made me think he had, indeed, noticed everything. What came next surprised the hell out of me.

"I did too." He uttered in a serious tone.

I looked at him cautiously, afraid of what I would see. He was looking at me with his placid gaze, and it worsened my perplexity.

Of course we'd shown each other affection throughout our lives, but nothing like that explicit admission of feeling each other's absence.

I was happy, regardless… He had missed me…

Did it mean anything?

I desperately wanted it to mean something… so my instincts kicked in and I tried to read his emotions through his eyes.

But as my stare intensified, Edward closed his eyelids softly, sighed, and turned his head forward.

It oddly felt like rejection, and my heart sank in my chest. I couldn't look away from him though. I knew I should, but I simply couldn't.

After a minute, he bent his head and sighed again before opening his eyes.

"I have to go." He spoke in a low tone. "I told my dad I wouldn't take long and, after almost two weeks away from home, I'd better be there when my mom sets the table for breakfast." He smiled a bit as he said that.

"Okay." I kinda mumbled.

We stood up and Edward sank his hands into his jeans pockets before finally looking back at me.

"You're still going to the festival, right?"

Just then I noticed that I was mirroring him. I exhaled heavily and nodded.

"Gang still meeting at your house?"

"As usual." He smiled but it seemed forced.

"I'll be there." I assured in a weird voice.

He nodded and soon was walking away. I just stood there watching him go until the gate closed behind him.

I took a deep breath in, trying to fill my lungs and soothe my heart. It was useless, of course, but there was nothing else I could do.

Holding the cap with both my hands, I sat back on the lawn and resumed waiting for the sunrise.

The first sunbeams didn't warm me up as I had hoped.

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"For fuck sake, Jay!" Jacob shouted from Emmet's car window. "We said one o'clock, not around one!"

I left my bike at Edward's house and hurried to the open back door of the big guy's truck, sitting by Edward's side.

"We were almost leaving without you." Emm said in a harsh tone. " It's almost two and we'll probably get some traffic. It will be hell to find a good parking space."

"I called you three times but you didn't answer." Edward's voice was the only soft one, his eyes fierce on my face.

"I couldn't answer." I kind of apologized in a low voice just to him. "I'm sorry, guys. Something came up just as I was getting ready to come." I spoke louder so Jake and Emm could hear me above the engine roar, and my voice betrayed my disturbance. "I had something to deal with."

Emmet looked briefly at me through the rearview mirror.

"Okay, man. Next time you just warn us or ask me to pick you up." He said, already looking to the road ahead.

I nodded, knowing he wasn't seeing my gesture, and turned my head to the window, breathing slowly to calm myself down.

Hell had broken loose at my house half an hour before I left. I was actually keeping a nice purple remembrance of that.

I stroked my forearm, feeling the ache below my long sleeve shirt. It was a good thing the weather had changed and it was a little cold.

"Is everything OK?" I heard Edward's voice.

It was low enough for me to know it was meant just for my ears.

I looked at him and he had this subtle frown marring his perfect features. I sighed. I didn't want to mess up what would be our last day trip with the gang before we moved. So I smiled weakly and nodded, not really trusting my voice.

He was clearly not convinced. And it wasn't long till I felt his hand rest on my shoulder and squeeze it a little. I expected him to remove it soon after, but he never did that. He simply leaned his elbow on the backrest and kept his hand on me while looking into my eyes.

I felt protected enough. So I sighed again in relief and bent my head.

The rest of the one-hour trip to Seattle was uneventful. I wasn't really paying attention, but somehow it got registered in my mind that Jake and Emm were talking lightly in the front and Edward was sporadically interacting with them while I was quietly looking through the window. My best friend's hand never left my shoulder, and for that I was grateful. Even more so than for his discretion.

We arrived half an hour later than we had planned, and we indeed had some difficulty in finding a nice enough parking space, but I guess the guys noticed how down I was because they never gave me a hard time.

As soon as we parked, Jacob left the car and Emmet threw the keys over his shoulder to Edward, which puzzled me completely.

"Don't take too long. We meet at the entrance." Emm said simply and then closed the door, leaving us alone.

Edward exhaled heavily and I turned to him. His body was already turned to me.

"What did he do this time?" He asked sternly.

There was no point in hiding what had happened from him, he knew something was up and it was clear he also knew it was related to my father. And I actually needed his support, as always, but I wasn't really in the mood to open up. If I did, I was sure I would cry and I didn't want to do that in front of him at that moment.

"I really don't wanna talk about it, E. Not now." I justified in a low tone.

"Do you wanna go somewhere else?" He was obviously worried, it was written on his countenance. "You don't need to be here if you don't want to."

Would you go and stay with me if I said yes? I thought.

At that specific moment, it would be truly great to be alone with him. But I would never ask him that. Not in that ambiguous situation I was in.

"I don't…" I hesitated in being sincere, 'cause I couldn't be so straightforward. But then I found a way to tell the truth without revealing too much. "I don't really wanna be alone."

He sighed.

"You wouldn't be alone. Do you think I would leave you when I see you need me?"

A warm, comforting familiar feeling spread through my chest. These small reassurances of his care for me made all the difference.

"No. I know you wouldn't leave me by myself. It's just…" I exhaled. "I don't wanna screw up your day."

Edward moved swiftly, holding both my shoulders and getting his face closer to mine. My heart bolted and I held my breath.

"We've been friends since before we learned to talk. I believe it's obvious you can count on me for whatever." His voice was deep, his eyes fierce. "Or have I ever left you alone when you need me?"

I shook my head, a little in shock with his intensity. He seemed almost angry. It made me nervous and I kinda lost control over my reactions so, my damn eyes fell to his lips. I couldn't avoid it. I guessed it was a natural reaction to his proximity.

I heard him sigh loudly and then his hands were nowhere near me. I raised my eyes to his hesitantly. He held my gaze as normally as always.

"Do you wanna get outta here?" He asked in a strained tone.

If I said yes, where would we go?

Probably to our spot at the lake. We would be alone and I would open my heart to him as I always did. And this would be a big problem 'cause I was too fragile to keep myself in check.

So I resigned myself.

"I wanna stay and go to the festival." I replied.

"Okay." He sighed once more. "Then, let's get outta the car."

We were out soon after, and we walked in silence to the stadium. Once we met the guys, we entered and went to the meeting point where we had agreed to meet the girls.

As we waited the conversation was flowing, about various subjects, and it was joyful. But I wasn't engaging.

I was discreetly looking at Edward while trying to think of a way to deal with my feelings before he noticed them. He knew me too well, it was just a matter of time…

And I knew it would ruin everything.