Hi there! Here comes 22th chapter, filled ASANO AND FEEEELSSS

I don't know if it's really feels but it certainly is something XD Just for sure, this chapter features season 2 episode 5 where the sport festival competition between A and E took place. And there was one scene which I had TO WRITE BECAUSE HOLY COW ANGST.

And about the reviews:

Akuma-Sama2002: I really appreciate you being honest with me :) I know that was a bit of a drastic way to end it, but I kinda... needed it... for... uuhhhh. SORRY T.T I HOPE I WILL MAKE IT UP WITH THIS ONE?! (OR I WILL CREATE MORE BULLCRAP?!) No, I swear I made this one better XD

Guest, DeviTX, Akano Tsuki, aster-bunny-bee: THANK YOU FOR NOT HATING ME! I surely would XD I will do my best to keep up the work, so don't worry! :)

EvilAnimeWolf, Personofmanythings, Mystery0028: Thanks for supporting me, I'm literally the luckiest and happiest author on this site T.T

Just a crazy fangirl: I speak 1% of French, that one percent being J'taime and Oui, but I typed your review into a translator (lots of random weird stuff coming out, but there were some words that actually made sense and were nice XD). Thank you!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy XD


Asano's P.O.V.

It has more than a week and half since the "vacation" with the E-class already and yet a few things regarding it were still heaving my mind. One of them being the secret they held (because I was certain that the man Karasuma had lied about the E-class not knowing a thing). Or the fact that Karma did his utmost not to stay with me long enough for us to actually hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes.

The days were still the same, painfully so - waking up tired, studying at school, studying with other classmates, studying alone in the library, going home and keeping a barrier from my father, studying in my room, and sometimes sleeping. Actually, I have been taking much more additional classes and giving them as well, mainly because of the fiasco involving us losing our bet against the E failures. So basically, I never left school before 6 p.m. and even then had two or three more hours of instrument lessons or sportclub activities. And after that I had to also take care of student council and class president duties.

It was tiring, sure, but what bugged me the most was how dull my life has become, partially because I was also deprived of that one only way of winding out (messing around with my idiotic brother). It felt like I switched to an automatic button, answering before even thinking about it, moving on my own, pulling through the days and then crushing at 4 a.m. for one or two hours of sleep. But I was still number one in the whole school, the chairman had no complaints and others admired me as always, so I kept going, believing this was for the best.

But I was far from satisfied with myself. There was still the lingering threat of class E's rising confidence and power and my guts were telling me to smother it once for all.

The perfect opportunity came a few days later, when I received an anonymous letter (along with about 20 more love letters, but let's not dig into that) in a locker, saying that a particular student was seen working despite it being against the rules. That student being the very class president of the end class, Isogai Yuuma.

The restaurant's adress was included so all I had to do was think of a way to use this blackmail and then go there with the five virtuosos at the time Isogai was supposed to have a shift.

It was actually easy, getting them to agree to my challenge in the sport festival.

And quite hilarious as well, especially since there were more horrified faces to look at. His friends were standing behind him as in the we support you way, yet standing was all they could do. Because although I admittedly was using this situation to serve my own selfish purposes, it was still a fact that the blackhead had violated the school rules twice. I, instead of reporting him right away, merely gave him a second chance.

Now that I noticed, Karma wasn't among them.

But that didn't mean I didn't see him soon after.

"What's the meaning of this?" a certain redhead hissed into my face after he not-so-gently dragged me off the road into some dirty forgotten corner, pinning me to the wall.

"Hello, Karma. What exactly do you mean?" I remained stoic, not really in the mood for his childish displays of emotional disruptions.

"Blackmailing Isogai like that? What do you want?" he went straight to the topic.

"Oh, you ignore me for two weeks straight and suddenly, when one of the trashes from your class is in trouble, finally approach me?" raising an eyebrow, I snorted, "How convenient."

"I didn't-" he did, but anyway, "That's not the point. You know Isogai's family has financial problems and that he needs the work. He's a good person and as far as I know, hasn't done anything to you that would make you want to complicate his life."

"That's right, but don't forget that I am a student council president. I watch over students and make sure no rules are broken,"

That was the truth.

"Class E has never been of any interest to you," the redhead bit his lip.

"Maybe it started being when you became part of it,"

"Oh, so now it's my fault?"

"I didn't say that"

My younger brother rolled his eyes and took a step back:

"Exactly, you never say anything,"

"And you do?"

We stayed staring at each other for a while, neither of us willing to back down. We knew this staring contest would have no end if one of us didn't back down, but the point was - we both knew we were right. He was avoiding me, I was using Isogai as a way to get to him and my position back.

"If you're being bitter, stop it," In the end, the boy ordered. How funny he thought he could do that.

"I am not. I'm merely carrying out my responsibilites," I broke away from him and took a step forward. However, in that very moment, everything darkened and I felt my knees buckling. Luckily it was quickly over and before I hit the ground, I was back to senses, though feeling a hand gripping my arm.

"Wha- Are you o-" Karma suddenly switched from accusive to panicked.

I didn't want to deal with this though. Not now. Not ever.

"Yes, now let go of me," I cut him off.

He did not.

"Stop with this all, Gakushuu. There is absolutely no reason for you to complicate the matter anymore, it's not like you even have the energy to," he urged me and I recognized concern behind those golden orbs.

"This conversation is over, Karma. I have lots of work to do."

With that, I broke away from him and went off to wherever it was I was initially headed to.

"Lots of work, which you have brought upon yourself," he shouted after me, but was only met with the sight of my back and silence.

As if I didn't know that.


Including exchange students in the pole-toppling was a precaution.

Of course, my class was elite among elites as far as studies were concerned, but sports were slightly different. In this area, I was well aware that the opposing team had an upper hand - first of all, their classroom was on a mountain, climbing that thing every day twice had to improve stamina. Secondly, from what I have seen, they had experience parkouring and fighting as well (no, I did not buy Shiota's I took self-defense courses excuse). So even if we had an advantage in number, I did not intend to overlook this risk.

"Are you alright, Gakushuu?" A man to my left suddenly asked and I cringed at the sound of him saying my first name with his american-english accent.

"Asano, call me Asano. Unless we are really close, we call each other our last names in Japan," I explained to Kevin, one of the exchange students who were arrived just a while ago.

"Alright, Asano," he nodded. "Well? Are you?"

The question struck me as I didn't really get what he was asking about. Then it clicked.

"Yes, why shouldn't I?"

"It's just... you get lost in thoughts a lot,"

"Do I? Haha, thanks for worrying" I laughed it off, "I'm alright,"

Well, if emotionally dead and physically exhausted counted as fine? Oh yeah, it did, because I was still capable of walking and speaking.

"You look tired," Kevin stated and it was quite a surprise for me to know that even this guy who was more muscles than heart or brain, could actually be perceptive and gentle.

I might have stared at him for too long, because he started fidgeting and eyeing the floor.

To be honest, I wanted to unbottle all the things that were troubling me. The dangerous zone between me and Karma, my pride, which I was so desperate to keep, my fears of being looked down on and the toll it was taking on me. I was suffocating under this pressure and was very well aware of it, as well as of the fact it would at some point become unbearable. Unbearable enough for me to completely shut down or do things I should not.

And there would be no one to help.

Kevin was probably the only one I could try to talk to now since he was different than the students in this school, his upbringing playing a part in it - focused on feelings and freedom of an individual instead of success alone. But there again, I had to stick to my role of the strong, flawless ruler and showing weakness was out of question, especially if I wanted to remain respected.

"I might have been skipping on sleep lately, but that's really it," In the end, I backed down with the ridiculous idea of opening up to anyone - how could I even think of that - giving him a smile.

"Okay, then once we win this competition, get plenty of sleep dude," the blond showed me a thumbs up and I nodded, agreeing.

Which would have been perfect.

If it weren't for the fact that we did not win.

"Anyone can see that, by some miracle, the E team won a battle, that was clearly not in their favour." My father stated coldly, sitting in his chair like he always did, only this time not even once looking into my face. I have disappointed him too much for him to even acknowledge my presence.

And I didn't dare move. I didn't even dare wince, let alone speak up or anyhow draw attention to myself.

"In short, you got owned."

Even breathing was hard. Every time I tried to inhale, my lungs felt hollow, empty, as though I had a hole in them. Trying to calm myself was no good either - not even counting the seconds of breathing in, holding in, breathing out, not even thinking of mathematical equations, nor replaying pleasant things in my head - it didn't help. My mind was overtaken by that unreadable stare of the chairman, his mocking and cold words that, by every moment, got more and more dangerous. I felt mortified to the point my vision and the whole world swam, yet I couldn't let anything show. Not if I wanted to survive this.

While the man was carrying on recapitulating the event and emphasizing all the mistakes I have done, I maintained a neutral look, fixed on him, although deep inside, I was about to have a panic attack or something of that sort.

I felt ashamed, first and foremost. Of losing to the E's, of not being capable to lead my team to the victory. I could have done better. I should have done better. What of an Ace was I if I couldn't make use of all the pawns, all the abilities we had disposal? What kind of Ace fails to live up to their names?! This was unacceptable. It was my fault, I knew - I should have thought of all the circumenstances, I ought have been quicker, more flexible.

And now, I realized just how useless and far from "good enough" I was - in front of this man, Asano Gakuho, my existence meant absolutely nothing. He didn't forget to remind me, of course, and it fueled all the misery and self-hatred towards myself.

"You're not fit to be a leader."

He said it monotonously, or at least so it sounded, but I knew that tone just far too well. "Disappointed" wasn't anywhere near the right term. The best I could describe it was downgrading, disdainful and disgusted. His voice gave out nothing but those eyes - those burning eyes - were screaming and I could see them wondering how in the hell could such a failure, such a weakling like me be his son.

But I remained motionless, only accepting all the statements he made.

Maybe, even agreeing.

Either way, I only wished he would finish quick and then let us go. Because the longer I was in here, the harder it was to keep the facade. This room might have been spacious, but in his presence, I was suffocating.

Out of blue, someone on my right spoke up: "Chief Director, your son is extremely capable."

It was about three seconds later that my head proccessed what Kevin was doing. He tried to cover for me. He was going against the principal.

"Kevin, stop it!" I ordered, not so perfectly concealing the panic in my voice.

And yet, the American didn't listen. He stubbornly carried on and I was unconsciously starting to wonder whether to call the ambulance or not.

"As a father, you should tell him that there's a lot he can learn from losing," he said with all conviction - how cute of those 'free' Americans and the whole western word for that matter - so supportive, optimistic, believing that everybody is important and of the same worth. Here though, and at this school especially, resistance was harshly punished.

Therefore, this wasn't a good idea. I was about to tell him to shut it and apologize to the chairman, but the adult was way too quick to react. It seems I must have angered him greatly for he would usually just laugh it off or wait for me to lecture the ignorants.

"I see... your little opinion is quite moving, Kevin. Can you help me learn as well? If I were to lose, I might be able to learn from that loss," that wasn't only sarcasm, the threat was apparent. "All four at once, please."

And those idiots got provoked. They all attacked without hesitation, sure of that they would no problem take the old man down. Oh how wrong they were. How very, very, very wrong they were.

My father wasn't a human.

He was a monster.

It didn't even take one minute. Half of that minute he let them all try to hit him but soon he got tired of their vain attempts and striked back, punching, kicking, letting blood gush out and leaving them on the ground in their own body fluids, groaning, begging for mercy. My own knees buckled and I hit the wall, staring in horror at the scene.

The principal seemed to enjoy it, he seemed so happy to show me what it really meant to "learn from loss".

No matter what, my father would never touch me. Never. Not even once. No matter how happy, no matter how mad, he never went further than give me a speech. Or a small show - this being one of them. It was more scary than anything else, the fact that although he kept his distance from me, he was so much of an influence. That he could control my life, my mind, that he could do anything he wanted. It was scary to see all he was able to do, all he wanted me to do and to be.

Without him ever having to touch me.

When I was small, I thought his coldness was sad and frustrating. That his attitude meant hatred, that he didn't care about me.

Now I only wish that was true. He cared too much. So much he was willing to kill people, to traumatize me, teaching me in the worst ways possible. If he really did not have any interest in me, I would be just another of his pawns, free from all the terror and expectations. Or maybe he would just beat me up one day and let me die.

"Say, Asano-kun," he surprised me by putting a hand on the wall, caging me in. "if you lost, then why isn't the frustration eating you alive?"

The images of demons, of monsters started mingling with his face and I soon realized that it wasn't those images I was afraid of. I was afraid of the man here only.

"Why, after all the failures you have made - are you still no good?" he left it lingering in the air, his poisonous gaze burning.

My hands were in a fist so tight the nails started digging into the skin, covering my palm blood. It was a good feeling, a small distraction from this monster in front of me. The one that could kill me with one sight.

The man of course noticed that and he slowly shook his head in disapproval, sighing. Then he stood up, looked around and callously declared: "You are dismissed, Asano-kun. Leave those here," he nodded towards the frightened, injured students around, "-I still have some matters I want to discuss with them."

And I silently complied, making my way out of the office. The next five minutes when I walked in the halls were dull and somewhat foggy but once I got into my empty homeroom, and locked it from the inside, I collapsed to the ground and struggled to keep my sanity.

Slow deep breath in, hold for 7 seconds, slowly breathe out. With closed eyes, I repeated this sequence and tried to calm myself with anything at all. Math. Science. All the literature quotes and paragraphs I had to learn by heart. It was no good, anything to do with school was making it even harder to forget the lecture I just received.

Not even thinking of the fun times with Karma helped. It reminded me that he and that class I so despised beat me today. I could still see him smugly grinning when I fell off that pole and for the first time, it entered my mind that even he - my dear little brother - was out to get me. That there was absolutely no one in this world I could trust.

I hit my head hard with the wall, feeling tears building up.

Really?

Not even Karma anymore?

Knowing that no matter how much I tried, I still wouldn't be alright, I got up and headed to the restroom where I washed away the blood from my hands. The red crescend imprints of my fingernails stung, but they didn't bleed a lot. Yet I wished they would, it would distract me enough to calm down. After five minutes, they were more or less fine so I didn't bother use bandage or bandaid.

I felt lightheaded and nauseus, but did not let myself succumb to such pitiful and weak state. Instead, I ran the water down the back of my neck, letting the coolness numb me.

Ten minutes later and I was fine.

As fine as I could be, but fine enough to keep pretending, to meet the E-class and my younger brother's triumphant grins, to withstand the stares from my classmates and not break down.

Not fine enough to keep myself off the roof.


Aaaaand? What's Asano going to do? What's happening? Does ANYOEN KNOW? COZ I CERTAINLY DON'T?! O.O