You guys know what? I take it back. I'm not ready to end this. Nuh-uh. Have fun, this is a healing chapter. And a means of delaying the inevitable. (I have to get to it though *Sobs*)

Arrysa Clair - I understand what you mean. It definitely would be strange if they just opened up so easily, I'm aware. I can't say much but I guarantee you I'm doing my best to make them work it out at a reasonable pace :)

shiota nagisa moonlight - haha thank youuu :3 I do hope you like the other parts too!

Anyway, enjoyyyy!


"Something on your mind, boy?"

Karma almost jumps out of his skin. He was looking out of the spaceship window, admiring the vastness of the cosmos while waiting for Ritsu to scan the data and transfer it to the class' system. They were so close to attaining information regarding Koro-sensei's condition, with only ten or so minutes left, and Karma let his guard down, not noticing one of the crew members approaching him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Just noticed you standing here all alone, looking quite grim," The man apologizes, both hands in the air in a sign of peace.

Karma wasn't aware of making any faces, but then again, it wouldn't have been the first time. "No worries." He shrugs it off. Then he follows the man's gaze and sees the group of astronauts talking with Nagisa enthusiastically. He supposes it does make sense now that Karma stood out.

"Nagisa really seems to be enjoying this a lot," he says softly.

"He indeed is. You aren't?"

It's clear that the man is trying to make him open up, but somehow it's not so forced that Karma would feel uncomfortable. His voice flows gently and his eyes gleam wisely, as if they'd know the answers to everything in the world.

"It's cool, space and all, but unlike him, I didn't actually intend on going," Karma replies in the end.

The foreign man hums in understanding. "Makes sense. It was a huge risk to undertake, after all."

While that's also true, Karma catches himself cringing. It doesn't escape the man's attention but he doesn't say anything, instead giving Karma the option of elaborating or letting it be.

"No, not because of that," he confesses, playing with the hem of his shirt. "I just thought it'd be unfair. To everyone else."

"Because you're not as interested in space?" He asks.

"Because I can't appreciate it fully right now."

That earns him a curious look from the astronaut.

"So there's something troubling you," he starts, glancing expectantly at Karma. "And because of that, you're not in the right headspace to enjoy this experience. Did I get that right?"

Karma nods, a bit unsure of whether it was a smart move to share that. But then again, he'll never see this man ever again once he lands on Earth, so he guesses it's fine.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" The man offers a smile. Then, he holds out his hand. "I'm Jensen, by the way. You are?"

"Karma," he takes the hand and shakes it. Jensen repeats it out loud and compliments him on the originality of the name.

"Well, Karma, anything this old dog can do for you?" he asks again cheerfully.

There isn't much to be done unless Jensen has a secret ability to alter reality and uses it to rid Karma of his family problems. He sighs, gazing out of the window again down on the Earth. It looks exactly like he expected it, like a giant blue marble with white and green swirls, none too different from the documentaries on the internet. However, it's the endless nothingness around that truly fascinates Karma. From this spaceship, in the middle of this void, he feels so small. Everything seemed so small. He couldn't even make out his own city, let alone his house or his father or mother. And yet they still weighed on him all the same.

"Do you have a family?" Karma asks absent-mindedly.

The question takes Jensen aback, but he immediately beams: "Yes. A lovely wife and a beautiful daughter. She's turning six in three months."

"Would you be able to leave them?"

The smile on Jensen's face fades. "No," he breathes, concern lacing his voice.

Right. What loving parent would be able to leave their family behind?

"I mean, at least not like that. But I did leave them, technically. Two months ago, to be part of this expedition," the man suddenly adds, his expression solemn. "I even had a fight with my wife about it, since I have to stay here for a year."

Karma turns towards the man.

"Do you regret it?"

Jensen ponders about it for a while. "No. I've been working my whole life to achieve this. It's always been my dream. And in the end, my wife understood and agreed," he finally answers. Then, a bit reluctantly: "But sometimes, I do get doubts. I miss them terribly. I won't be able to attend my daughter's first day of school. I won't be able to help her with homework or give her tips on how to deal with boys teasing her. It's usually quite busy here but any free minute I get, I can't help but think of her and my wife and wonder what they're doing and what all I won't be able to do with them."

Karma's eyes widen at that confession. Jensen comes across as a decent, loving man who knows exactly what he wants. He chose this for himself. It was his life's dream to go to space and take part in the research after all. And he still had doubts and missed his family.

Did Karma's mother also miss him? Could she also not help but think of him and of Gakushuu every free minute she got?

"What would you do if your family despised you for leaving? If you came back and your daughter blamed you because she was robbed of a dad?" He pushes further for no other reason than just wanting to hear how other people perceive things.

"That's a bit harsh, isn't it? I'm only away for a year and I do call them regularly." Jensen rubs his neck in discomfort.

Karma deflates, a bit ashamed. It was insensitive of him to bring the subject up, considering Jensen's yearning for his family. "Sorry, forget it," he tries to play it cool.

However, the man shakes his head. "It's alright. I guess if I was gone for much longer than expected, that could very much happen." Jensen entertains the idea. He crosses his arms and purses his lips, deep in thought.

"I'd be heartbroken about it, of course. I'd try to make it up to her but in the end, I could only hope that one day, she'd find it in her heart to forgive me."

"Because you'd feel bad?"

"No," Jensen laughs and then looks Karma in the eyes with the intensity of the sun. "Because I love her."

The computer screen announces data transfer: complete.


Later that evening when Karma tells Gakushuu that he's been to space, Gakushuu drug tests him.

When Gakushuu tells Karma that their father's inviting them both to a football game, Karma drugs tests him too.

Both come out negative.


Their mother doesn't seem to be slacking off in her attempts to win them over either. She's home every evening when Karma returns from school with a freshly cooked dinner. She waits for him with a soft smile and even takes the liberty of calling Gakushuu to join them (The first time it happened, Karma almost tripped on the stairs and died, since when does she have his phone number?)

Since the day he met her at school, apparently.

Not that Gakushuu actually picks up though. He does follow up with a text message explaining how he didn't have his phone by his side or was busy. He usually states an excuse convincing enough, but Karma suspects he's doing it out of consideration for him. Which, honestly, he appreciates. A lot.

Despite all of the things his mom does and the conversations she initiates, Karma hasn't been very receptive. He sits by the table, eats the things she prepared and then washes the dishes. Any questions that arise in between get answered promptly and shortly and they fall into heavy silence again, until he escapes to the safety of his own room. It's cold of him, yeah, and he sees the sadness in his mother's eyes, but doesn't know what else to do. At the very least, he's not having panic attacks on the floor behind closed doors or yelling cruel blame at her.

At the very least, he's proud of that.

"We should go camping," Gakushuu suggests as they lay on the grass, in their favourite spot in the forest. It's been a while since they actually had the time to go there and the familiarity of it soothes them both.

"Where did that come from?" Karma chuckles, turning right to look at his brother.

"Just a thought. Since it's hard for you to be home with mom. I could use a break from father too."

Karma thinks about it for a bit. "Sure," he says, rather thrilled by the idea. "We could go hiking too."

So they do. They both pack their things the very same evening and meet in the forest once both of their parents retire to their bedrooms.

"Are you sure it's okay? You're going to miss school tomorrow," Karma brings up once again, quite worried about the fact that his perfect-grades-perfect-attendance older brother actually went through with this. No matter how much Gakushuu cared about Karma, the fact that he willingly skipped school just to go camping rang alarms. Maybe he needed this escape more than he appeared to.

Gakushuu shrugs. "It's just one day and after that, it's weekend. We don't have any other exams anyway." He takes out a flashlight to lead the way. "Besides, it's probably time for me to work on my inflexibility."

They walk further into nature and find a flat surface to set up their humble tent and unpack their belongings. While doing so, Karma notices numerous books in his brother's backpack. In Karma's own pile lays an old Gameboy with various game cartridges. He grins, reassured that at least some things never change.

"I brought enough water and food for us. Did you bring tools for making a fire or a camping stove?" Gakushuu calls out, holding a bag of marshmallows in his hands. Karma almost squeals in glee like a child upon seeing them and runs to fetch a small stove gas stove he bought years ago.

"You know, there's enough food to find on this mountain. Fish to catch, greens to collect. I think I even saw some berries here and there," Karma tells Gakushuu as they grill their marshmallows. It's ridiculous that the strawberry blond managed to transport so many things in that humble backpack of his without his spine breaking.

Not that Karma's baggage felt any lighter, it's just he only brought absolute necessities with him. And ten cartons of strawberry milk. And 750 grams of gummy bears. Special XXL edition.

(And wasabi)

"Catch fish? As if you'd know how to do that, you spoilt brat. I constantly have to bring groceries to your doorstep, or you'd starve," Gakushuu snickers, flicking the redhead on his forehead.

"Excuse you? I have caught fish with my bare hands before, on the very river flowing through this very mountain! Remember the school festival? Our restaurant and our amazing ingredients? I took part in collecting those!"

"Sure you did."

They bicker so passionately that the first set of marshmallows ends up catching on fire and burning black.


Before they go to sleep, they turn off their phones.

"It's two in the morning, Gakushuu. Last thing I want is to get a call at 8 am from Nagisa or Nakamura with them demanding I drag my ass to class," Karma justifies. Gakushuu gives in. It's a good point. If he, the student council president, doesn't show up tomorrow, he just might receive a call from every single student of class A, B, all the way to C and D.

Afterwards, they each crawl into their own sleeping bags and wish each other good night.

Except when do sleepovers and camping nights end that simply?

"I don't remember the last time we went camping," Karma exhales against the cover, trying to find a comfortable position. The ground's a bit hard and it takes him some time to get accustomed to it.

"I do," Gakushuu declares. "When we were six and five, in summer. Dad wanted to show us the Perseid meteor shower and took us to a mountain not so far from here."

Karma tries to not dwell on the fact that Gakushuu called the chairman Dad. It sounds strange to his ears but he supposes it deserves a benefit of the doubt.

In Karma's memories, they were also Mom and Dad.

Then, a certain scene flashes into his mind. "Oh, I think I actually remember now. Did I push you into a lake?"

Gakushuu opens his eyes for the sole purpose of sending Karma a murderous glare. "Yes. Funny how you remember that."

"What can I say? Tormenting you is my favourite activity."

"Just to set the record straight, I didn't talk to you for an hour after that and you cried about it so much both mom and dad had to beg me to forgive you."

Karma laughs at that, denying the accusations. As if he'd ever be that clingy. Pff. Ridiculous.

After a moment, silence befalls them, except for occasional whips of wind and rustles of leaves. Gakushuu closed his eyes again and it looked like he was asleep already, except Karma saw the slight scrunch of his eyebrows.

"How did he manage to convince mom to camp? Didn't she always hate bugs and dirt?" He asks hesitantly. It's uncharacteristic of him to show interest in their parents or to bring up anything from their past, but right now, he feels strangely open to vulnerability.

Gakushuu's visibly surprised by the question. He too is aware of the peculiarity of this situation but doesn't address it.

"She did. And he knew it, so he was pretty sly about it. First, he got us both really excited, called it raining stars and told us how we could make wishes for each falling star we saw. Then, all three of us asked her to go. He sweet-talked her a lot and bought a lot of quality equipment so that she'd feel comfortable."

There's a light amusement in Gakushuu's tone and it makes Karma's chest swell.

"He used to do that a lot. Mom was usually the one calling shots so if he really wanted something, he'd have to involve us and then work his way around it."

"How do you remember all of this?" Karma wonders out loud. "I've always had a good memory but somehow, this never...stuck."

This time, it's Gakushuu who becomes hesitant. He swallows slowly as if to buy himself more thinking time. His brother doesn't push. At last, he inhales deeply and confesses: "Because it's one of my dearest memories. And I think of such moments often. Especially when things get hard. It's one of the few things that manage to knock me off my feet and get me back on them all at once."

That's a new revelation to Karma. He gazes at his brother only to see melancholy painted all over his face. "I-" Karma stutters, the wind knocked out of him. "I never knew that. That you thought about the past so much. You always seemed so strong and unshakable, no matter what happened. Even after they got divorced. You never looked like it affected you much."

Gakushuu smiles faintly. He pulls his hand out of the sleeping bag and ruffles Karma's hair.

"I'm an older brother after all. I had a baby to look after. I couldn't afford to buckle."

It's an impactful statement. Karma's always considered his brother strong, so strong that nothing could ever sway him. It's always been a given. Only recently did Karma start to see flaws in that narrative. Now, the realisation hit him in full force - Gakushuu wasn't strong because nothing got to him. He was strong because they did - because all the pain and worries and sadness weighed on his shoulders and yet he still mustered up enough courage to keep going.

And he did all of that for Karma too.

"But I know that it's the past. I used to revisit those memories mostly when the divorce was still fresh. I don't dwell on it anymore nowadays," Gakushuu tries to reassure him.

"But do you hope for it?" Karma blurts out without thinking.

At that, Gakushuu's eyebrows shoot up. He's rather unsure of how to reply, partly because of the fear of upsetting the redhead and partly because he can't bring himself to lie.

Thankfully, Karma carries on: "Now that they're both here, it probably seems realistic, doesn't it? The idea that they might return to our lives and be Mom and Dad again. I think about it a lot. I hate to admit it but I think about them and hope for that so much. But then I see Mom at the dinner and all I feel is rage. I can barely breathe because I'm choking up on years of bitterness and betrayal and I can't say a single word out of fear that it turns into sobs or screams. And what's even worse, I'm terrified of what might happen afterwards. What if she disregards it? What if she turns away from it and leaves again because it's too much work?"

He pauses for a bit and Gakushuu sees his lips quiver.

"I don't know anything good about Dad. I have a faint recollection of him here and there and it's all warm and fuzzy, yes, but I have no actual idea of who he is. All he's been to me is the chairman, someone to be wary and scared of. But at the same time, I find traces of us both in him. And the more I learn about him now, the more human he seems. It's scary. I'm scared of him getting closer to us because then he might become real, someone important. How am I supposed to let a person who's been a cold-blooded dictator in my mind for years suddenly become someone important to me?"

Karma's breath hitches at this point and it breaks Gakushuu's heart. He props himself up on the elbows and worms himself closer to his little brother. Gently, he pulls him into a tight hold. Karma gratefully returns the hug and buries his face into Gakushuu's shoulder, finding comfort in the familiar scent.

"I think I understand exactly what you mean. I feel the same way, or at least a very similar way about them, just the other way around." Gakushuu says into Karma's hair. "I'm not sure about Mom's genuineness or about her capability of taking the role of Mom again. It'd hurt too much if she couldn't and abandoned us again. And seeing Dad reminds me of all the times he drilled harsh lessons into me, of all the doubts and fears he instilled in me. It's difficult to be close to him, let alone open up to him because, in my head, it's not safe." He whispers, the emotions threatening to bubble over. It's the first time he's allowed himself to acknowledge these fears and doing so relieved him incredibly.

The boy in his arms makes a low affirmative noise.

"You know what," Gakushuu starts, an idea forming in his head. "I think we should tell them that."

Karma looks up quizzically. He doesn't seem happy about the suggestion. "Why?"

"Because they deserve to know the amount of pain they put us through. Why hide it from them? Why make it easier on them?"

It's a good choice of words. Gakushuu sees the wheels turning in his brother's mind.

"And if they don't care?"

"Then fuck them," Gakushuu declares firmly. "Fuck them and everything they say or do. It's not like anything will change anyway. And at least we'll save ourselves the time and effort knowing there's no point in dealing with them. We have each other anyway. That's all we ever needed."

And that's what they agree on.

Once they go return, they'll give their parents hell. And if that doesn't work out, that's fine too. Because no matter what, as long as it's the two of them together, nothing could shake them.

As they go sleep for real, Karma starts missing the warmth of another person beside him. He wiggles himself out of the sleeping bag and promptly hops into Gakushuu's, effectively startling the living shit out of him.

"Go back to your place! This bag isn't big enough for two!" He shrieks, sensing how the covers around him stretch to dangerous levels.

"Mine is. Join in mine then!" Karma counters.

Gakushuu's too tired to argue so he growls at him but complies. It's still stuffed and they're starting to sweat, but Karma doesn't let go.

But if Gakushuu finds himself smiling like an idiot while his little brother clings to him like a koala, well.

That's a secret.


Hehe.

How cheesy.

I thought I'd go straight to the family drama but then I really wanted the two of them to have some bonding time so yeah, this happened. I'm actually glad they went camping instead because it will help them calm down a bit and gather their strength to deal with the shitshow at home. And I really want to write fun and fluffy sibling stuff and have them drive each other crazy in the most endearing ways.

Anyway, I have a vacation next week and don't think I'm going to be able to provide quality content, therefore I'll take a bit longer for the next chapter. I'm sorry! Trying to enjoy the last bits of free time before uni starts and I fall back into a depression hole.

Meanwhile, don't hesitate to tell me what you thought!

Next update: Saturday 23rd of September