The Dustbin

Day 3: Spring Cleaning


26th of the Great Tree Moon, Afternoon


Inside the underground shed where the exiled students hung out (for lack of a better term), each of them minding their own business.

Byron was reading through his unfinished book written by his potentially-new professor.

Vidar was wandering around aimlessly, randomly stumbling into the walls and corners of the still-standing desks.

Sorcha was doing push-ups, her shirt already off, and her well-built bare body dripping sweat onto the wooden floor.

Selene was scribbling something on the chalkboard, with a drawing of hills that looked like white giants slowly forming.

Cyrus was looking thorough the map of Garreg Mach and the entirety of Fodlan, potentially plotting his next possible escape route back home.

And Topaz was throwing her knives into the wooden rapports supporting the foundation of the basement, pinning a cockroach onto the pillar with another throw.

"So sister..." Selene spoke to Sorcha.

"What is it?" Sorcha replied.

"We did see the professor head to the main building this morning, right?" The twin pointed out as she set down the small piece of chalk on the blackboard.

"Maybe." Sorcha replied as she continued to do her push-ups. "I mean, I was watching the Princess sleep in her room."

"Which one?" Byron cut in. "The Adrestian, or the Brigid hostage?"

"Does it matter which one?" Sorcha replied. "Both are dead to me."

"... I want to believe in the Princess again, but every passing day, I feel as if my faith is being tested..." Selene sighed out.

"Seriously, you two need help." Byron sighed out. "You two's obsession with the Black Eagles's two Princesses make Cyrus over there look less neurotic in comparison."

"At least I have a clear endgoal in mind!" Cyrus pointed out before he buried his head back into his maps and notes.

The students go silent for a moment before one of them resumes the conversation.

"So Byron..." Topaz asked the bookworm student as she pulled out her knives from the wooden rapport. "... Don't you owe me a favor? I did tell you where Seteth was keeping the contraband books before they were disposed of."

"Meh, only a few were worth taking. The rest were either legitimate garbage that don't deserve to be called literature, or I already have them to begin with." Byron pointed out. "So in essence, you're the one who owes me a favor, since, I actually went out of my way to create a replica key for the greenhouse out of slag from the smithery."

"It broke as soon as I inserted it." Topaz retorted. "Almost broke one of my knives trying to jury-rig the lock open."

"Let's just agree to disagree on the fact that we both owe each other anything." Byron stated right before he sunk his nose back into his book.

"Fair enough."

The whole underground bunker goes silent of words yet again.

"... So where do you think Professor Karna is at-"

The bunker doors burst opening, with the searing rays of sunlight shining below, revealing a silhouette from the rays.

"... You look ridiculous." Topaz pointed out.

Karna himself was still in his black garbs, only this time, his hair and face were covered in white cloth, his black robes were overlaid with a plain brown apron, his gloved hands were covered with another pair of brown gloves, and in his twice-gloved hands were several brooms, feather dusters, and buckets full of water and scrubbing rags.

"Appearance matters not when the place that needs to be cleaned up happens to be a literal dumpster." Karna retorted. "I wish to teach all of you, I really do. But first, we need to do something about this pigsty."

He then throws one of the brooms towards Topaz, with her catching it.

"Come now. Class won't start until this whole place is straightened out." Karna pointed out as he tossed the brooms to the other students, with everyone catching it (Vidar caught the broom's shaft between his teeth).

"One problem, Professor." Byron spoke out.

Karna then looked at the pile of books that Byron himself was sitting on.

"... Ah." Karna placed his fist's bottom on top of his palm. "I'm assuming they need a home where they won't be found? By anyone, especially by a person of interest named Seteth?"

Byron simply smiles.

"Knowing you, I suppose you have a plan?" Byron replied.

"This place used to be so-called 'dig site', correct?" Karna pointed out as he walked towards the blackboard.

He winds his left leg back, as far as he could, and then delivers a swift kick to the blackboard, completely destroying the board into splinters and slate, revealing a gaping hole resembling an abandoned mine shaft.

"Don't worry, I'll just tell the staff that the blackboard was eaten out by termites." Karna reassured. "They'll do anything as long as I don't quit my job."

"... B-B-But that was my drawing that I've been working on since I got here..." Selene whimpered out.

"I recommend charcoal next time, Miss Selene." Karna replied. "Chalk art is good and all, but your landscape artistry deserves to go on a more... noticeable platform."

Karna then pulls out a small handbook and travel quiz, and begins scribbling on it before ripping out the page that he was drawing on and handing it to Selene.

"... That's an exact replica of my drawing." Selene spoke out in surprise. "... It took me since sunrise to input this amount of detail whereas you only glanced at it for a second to memorize the whole thing."

"Use that as a reference in a future drawing." Karna pointed out. "Until then..."

He twirls his broom in his hand, kicking up a cloud of dust with the broomhead.

"... Better now then later to get started, shall we?" Karna smiled.

All of them stop what they were doing and begin sweeping the classroom floors.

Byron begin putting his books inside the hole formed from Karna's kick, Cyrus hastily stuffs his maps and notes inside of his pockets before lifting up a loose chandelier off of the floor, Vidar sweeps the floor while he himself was sweeping the floor on all of his fours (still keeping the broom between his teeth), Topaz assists the Brigid twins lifting up the upturned bookshelf off of the floor, and Karna himself was dusting the still-intact furnitures in the basement.

"So where does all the clutter go?" Byron asked as he put the contraband books into the hole.

"Sweep them in one spot, I uses for them later." Karna pointed out as he dusted the teacher's desk.

Byron then picks up his broom and begins sweeping the gravel and dirt into the open area of the cellar.

"Well, that's enough for the cleaning..." Karna stated as he looked at the now mostly-cleared out classroom. "... But renovations are still needed. I mean, the flooring itself is already a safety hazard."

"Nah, I think we should be fine-"

Cyrus, once again, falls through the floor upon stepping on the weak link of the boarding, with an auditable sound of crashing being heard below.

"... You okay there, buddy?" Sorcha called out.

"SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"He's fine." Sorcha shrugged. "I'll get the rope ladder."

The Brigid girl with the claw tattoo then retrieves a rope knot ladder before tossing it down into the freshly formed hole.

"... I'll contact Seteth to outsource this work to other laborers." Karna sighed out. "If anyone's hurt, the staff told me to go to... Manuela's office. Apparently, she's the head healer in this Academy."

"OW!" Cyrus cried out in pain. "... I think I sprained my ankle."

"Ok, forget that, someone call Alois..."


One Successful Rescue Attempt Later...


"Okay, slowly, carefully..."

Karna and Alois were carrying the giant Almyran student by his shoulders, his right ankle (currently bent outwards from his body) limping his way towards Manuela's office.

"Sorry Professor..." Cyrus winced out. "... This is even worse back when I fell off my very first horse when I was four. My father said that my head hit a rock and I was bleeding like mad. Almost died. Kinda traumatic."

"Well, at least there's no bleeding." Alois reassured. "Just remember, don't look a gift horse in the mouth!"

"Boo." Karna booed at Alois's pun.

"Oh come now! I was saving that for the Calvary Tournament in later months!" Alois protested.

"Too soon, Mr. Alois." Cyrus groaned out. "At least when my head was bleeding, I couldn't feel anything from the head down... I honestly prefer that right now. At least I was home back then."

"Graduate first, Cyrus." Karna pointed out. "But first, heal. Then, learn. Afterwards, graduate. Then finally, I'll see it to myself you return home at all costs. But only condition, I ask you to be patient for a year. Understood?"

Cyrus nods in agreement.

"Good." Karna stated as he looked at the building's map that was given to him by Seteth. "Now according to my notes, Manuela's office should be up the stairwell and straight ahead to the left..."

The three slowly make their way up the stairs, reach the next floor, and slowly make their way straight ahead, eventually stopping before a door.

"So this is it?" Karna asked Alois.

"Yes indeed!" Alois replied. "We'll get your boy back up in a jiffy!"

The three enter through the door, meeting a buxom woman with short chestnut-colored hair in a dull emerald green dress and a fluffy, white shawl around her shoulders.

Karna freezes in place upon seeing the woman.

"... Oh dammit all." Karna spoke out. "That's Manuela?"

"Hm? Something the matter?" Alois asked.

Karna lets out a heavy sigh before tossing Cyrus to the nearest cot available.

"I ran into her passed out on the floor during my first night here." Karna stated. "She reeked of booze from where I was standing, and I bolted before anything could happen to me, for I've seen and dealt with my fair share of drunk women. They're way stronger then they look."

"How rude!" Manuela snapped. "You could've helped me out back to my room at least!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THE INFIRMARY WAS YOUR ROOM!?" Karna snapped back. "LET ALONE, THE INFIRMARY'S LOCATION!? OR THE FACT THAT YOU WERE THE ACADEMY'S HEAD NURSE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?"

"... Fair enough." Manuela sighed out. "Now what happened to that kid-OH MY GODDESS! WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS LEG!?"

The three adults in the room look at Cyrus's right leg, which was currently dislocated from ankle to knee, the whole leg bending outward.

"... If I said he fell through the floor, would you believe me?" Karna asked Manuela.

"I-I mean, maybe!?" Manuela replied hesitantly. "I only saw this kind of injury once back during my opera company days, and let tell you, that person never got back on stage, ever again."

"Huh, so that's why the rope ladder was so long..." Karna thought. "... I'll have to put up a word with Seteth about the potential safety hazards of my new classroom."

Manuela then peeks under Cyrus's pants sleeve, seeing the purplish-red bruises spotted on his twisted ankle and knee.

"Umm... So will the boy be able to walk again?" Alois asked Manuela.

"... It's a longshot, but I think I can do it." Manuela answered. "But first, I need someone to hold the boy down."

"You're going to forcibly relocate his joints, use the [Heal] spell, then put him in a cast and crutches?" Karna pointed out.

"Glad you're fast on the uptake." Manuela replied. "Alois, hold him down."

"Yes ma'am!"

The Knight of Seiros pins down Cyrus's arms to the cot.

"You there." Manuela spoke to Karna. "You know any Faith Magic?"

"I'm capable of basic first-aid with [Heal]." Karna replied.

"Alright then..." Manuela sighed out as he stretched her arms. "... As soon as I force the leg back into place, [Heal] got it?"

"Ready when you are." Karna stated as he prepares to cast [Heal] on Cyrus's leg.

The whole room goes silent before the storm.

"One..."

Alois gulps in anticipation for what's to come.

"Two..."

Manuela's grip around Cyrus's leg becomes firmer.

"... THREE!"

*SCRUNCH*


One Unholy Screaming and Flailing Later...


"Hang in there, Cyrus." Karna reassured as he casted [Heal] on the now-passed out Cyrus's leg. "Everything's going to be alright..."

"... I wasn't sure that it would even work." Manuela sighed out as she slouched against her work stool. "Regardless, good work, everyone."

"Well, let's just say we had a leg up on his situation before it got worse!" Alois laughed out.

"... Really?" Manuela groaned out.

"Boo." Karna booed.

"OH COME ON! I WAS ALSO SAVING THAT ONE FOR CALVARY TOURNAMENT!" Alois protested.

"Then drop all the horse-related puns to spare all of us from the agony of your incessant puns, Sir Knight." Karna pointed out.

"Oh... all right." Alois moped. "At least that's an excuse to come up with new material..."

The white-armored knight walks out the door.

"So..." Manuela looked at Karna. "You're that... Cyrus's student, correct?"

"And five other misfits in The Dustbin." Karna replied. "... By the way, the splint?"

"Oh, right."

Manuela then ties a metal brace around the youth's leg.

"I recommend crutches." Manuela stated. "Poor kid won't be able to walk for a while, so have him come by to my office at least once a week to speed up his healing process."

"Yes ma'am." Karna stated. "... So about the whole part of me leaving you wasted?"

"Don't fret." Manuela sighed out. "You're not the first one."

"May I accompany you to your next trip to the local pub?" Karna asked. "I mean, you seem to be the kind of person who ends up alone."

"Oh my, are you... coming onto me?" Manuela giggled.

"Not really, I just make it a priority to make sure that you don't end up faceplanted on the stone floors again." Karna replied with a teasing smirk. "No one deserves that."

"... Oh alright, I suppose you can come." Manuela replied. "But fair warning; I can hold my drink."

"I'll see you as soon then." Karna replied as he walked towards the door. "Oh and forgot to mention, I'm Karna Yuga, the new Professor of The Dustbin."

The cloaked man then walks out the door, shutting it behind him.

"... The Dustbin?" Manuela wondered as she saw Cyrus. "... It seems that Professor Karna is more... interesting than I thought."

Outside the halls, Karna runs into a scholarly-looking gray-haired man with a monocle over one of his eyes.

"... You there." The man spoke out to Karna as the latter passed by him.

"Yes?" Karna replied. "To what pleasure do I owe you?

"Two things." The man stated. "Firstly, my name is Hanneman von Essar, and I'm a Crest Scholar. I've heard from Seteth that your Crest is an... anomaly."

"Meaning?" Karna replied plainly, clearly losing interest in his conversation.

"The Timotheos Crest quite rare, you see. But for it to randomly manifest at a young age? Now that, I cannot ignore!" Hanneman spoke out in a energized tone. "Please, you must let me study your Crest, for I must know how it manifested, and all of the potential that it withholds!"

"... Yeah, no." Karna bluntly replied. "Just what am I getting out of this? I already have one student with a leg brace, and five others to teach tomorrow. I don't have time to play being your lab rat."

"Fair enough, it seems that you have your hands full." Hanneman sighed out. "Which brings me to my second concern; just what is your motive with Manuela?"

"Pure ones, I assure you." Karna reassured. "I mean, if you're worried, you can come along if you wish-"

"No, that's not it." Hanneman cut Karna off. "... Look, all I'm saying is, just make sure that she doesn't make herself more of a mess then she already is, and that goes double for you, Professor."

"Noted." Karna stated. "I'll see myself out before you start sticking needles into me..."

Karna briskly runs off.

"... WAIT! I ASSURE YOU, IT'S ONLY A SMALL PRICK TO THE THUMB!"

Hanneman then breaking into running speed towards Karna's direction.

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE!" Karna yell across the distance.


One Screaming and Running Later...


"PROFESSOR KARNA!?" Hanneman yelled out. "WHERE ARE YOU!? I MUST FIND YOU BEFORE MY AFTERNOON CLASS STARTS! MY OFFICE HOURS ONLY LAST ABOUT 10 TO 14!"

Karna himself was submerged inside the fishing pond underneath the wooden dock.

"10 to 14, he said?" Karna thought. "That's fine. I can hide all day."

He himself was calmly breathing in this murky dim underbelly of the Fishing Pond's pier.

Karna continues to listen out for the eccentric professor's clacks of his boots, waiting for them cease so that Karna himself can get back to his priorities.

That, and Karna prefers to bleed on his own terms. He'll avoid bleeding if he can help it.

Then as he floated, several fish begin to brush aside his legs.

"What are you looking at?" Karna muttered to himself, realizing that the fish in the pond were concentrating towards him. "*Sigh* Look, I don't plan to eat you folk, so do all of us a favor, and leave."

The fish swim away from the hooded professor as the Monastery's bells ring.

"... I suppose it is safe to come out now."

Karna then silently swam back ashore, with no one looking towards his way, despite himself being dripping wet and soggy all over.

"Eh, not my first time in the water, fully clothed." Karna muttered to himself. "... Still, for me to run into such kook, how unfortunate-"

His leg bumps into something, followed with the sounds of objects dropping onto the cobblestone ground.

"Oh, so sorry!" A young female voice called out apologetically.

Karna looks at who he's bumped into, a lithe young woman with curled mint-green hair, her outfit being only reminiscent of the student's uniform, only more... pouffier.

"No need, little lady." Karna assured. "I already had a busy enough day as is."

"Oh, so sorry." The girl apologized once again as she picked up the books and fishing rods that she was carrying. "Well, I hope you have a better day later down the line!"

"Name's Karna, I'm the new professor here." Karna greeted.

"I'm Flayn, nice to meet you professor." Flayn replied. "See you soon!"

The mint-haired girl then walks away towards elsewhere.

"Hmm, nice enough girl." Karna mused. "Now where was I... Oh right, the classroom."

Karna briskly walks back to where the stables were at, only to run into Byron.

"Pardon me, Byron." Karna stated to the dark-haired lad. "But did you managed to clear out the classroom?"

"... About that." Byron's eyes shifted towards the side.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that something had happened.

"... Oh dear goddess, kill me now."

The two find themselves standing before the shutter doors, only the classroom itself being now in a even bigger mess than before.

"You have exactly ten seconds to tell me what in the actual hell happened here while I was gone." Karna spoke to Byron.

"It turns out that those desks were dumped in there in the first place." Byron pointed out. "Also, I found this little bugger crawling around on the pages of the book I was reading, the ones that Seteth approves, that is."

Between his fingers, a small, pea-sized white-amber-colored insect was flailing its legs around, struggling to break free.

"Termites? Really?" Karna pointed out the absurdity. "How many?"

"Not much, they were only infesting the bookshelves that the Church threw into the Dustbin last month." Byron pointed out. "Thankfully, Sorcha managed to locate the nest and kill the queen and children, but by that point, the classroom had to be turned upside down to kill the remaining termites crawling around."

"I'll get the pesticide." Karna sighed out. "Meanwhile, use this on any intact wooden furniture."

He then hands the youth a glass bottle filled with a translucent-amber colored liquid and a brush from his pocket.

"What's this?" Byron asked.

"Almyran Orange Vinegar." Karna pointed out. "Was going to use that for my dinner tonight, but I think I can go for another powder mixture. That, and right now, the classroom's general functionality is the top priority. Apply one drop on the brush, and slather the coated bristle over the wooden surface until it stops smelling sour. Rinse and repeat until every last intact furniture smells rancid, or if you run out, my advice is to keep the shutter doors open. Termites hate sunlight. Oh and one last thing, keep them away from my backpack, there are memories of my travels in there, and I rather not lose them before I get my own office."

"Got it." Byron stated as he went down the shutter. "Pesticide is at the Greenhouse, next to the Fishing Pond."

Karna then heads back to where he came from, but this time, heading to the glass house adjacent to the artificial body of water.

Inside, Karna finds himself in company of several rare foliage and flora from all corners of Fodlan, and one amber-skinned boy watering the plants.

"Um, excuse me." Karna asked the boy.

"Oh, you need something from here?" The boy replied.

"Y-Yes. I'm looking pesticide." Karna asked. "Classroom's littered with termites, and I can't exactly teach when the desks are on the verge of falling apart."

"Sorry. Just used the last of em' to fend off the grubs off of our strawberries." The boy apologized. "But if you're looking for pest control, I think the Dining Hall's kitchen just restocked some red wine vinegar from the Adrestian Empire last week, so they should have plenty."

"Thanks, umm... what's your name?" Karna asked.

"Cyril." The boy plainly replied. "Now if you excuse me, I have to procure some pegasi manure from the stables. Lady Rhea likes the garden's plants to be fresh and supple as possible."

"Hm, never took her for a plant lover, as evident by her skin-deep serene facade of hers... That and the fact that she's probably packing enough muscle underneath her garments to make any man blush in envy." Karna thought to himself as his wrist throbbed. "Name's Karna, and again, thank you."

The boy simply ignores the cloaked man as Cyril simply walked by him.

"... Hm, seems the little Almyran has more of a story to him." Karna mused. "Perhaps, I may pry in a bit more about him... at a later date, or at least when he's not working himself to an early grave, of course."

So as Karna runs towards the Dining Hall besides the Fishing Pond, he enters into an wide open space laid with rows of dining tables and benches, all being set up by several of the waiting staff, all preparing for tonight's supper.

"Excuse me." Karna asked one of the woman by the kitchen's entrance. "I've heard that you have some vinegar available. Can you spare a bottle or two? I need them for the termite infestation back at my classroom."

"Sure, they're at the back, second top shelf to the right."

Karna then enters the kitchen, looks up towards the shelves right above the counter, and takes two clay gourds of rich-scented vinegar with him.

As he walked out of the Dining Hall, he then sniffs the bottle.

"... Yep, strong enough to wake the dead." Karna grinned as he walked back to where the Dustbin was at. "Hopefully, the classroom doesn't on fire as soon as I get there..."

He then walks past several students, all of them being repelled by the scent emitted from the bottles.

"Ugh, what's that smell?"

"Who's that guy anyway? He's dripping wet..."

"He looks a little placid..."

Karna himself was no stranger to gossipy hens like those curious youths he's currently walking by. They themselves don't know any better, so of course they would start making assumptions without basis.

He himself had nothing against that, only that they may learn afterwards, no matter how high the bar may be.

"Honestly, the Alliance Noblemen think Almyrans are backwards..." Karna muttered to himself. "Clearly, they don't see the whole 'backwards' that is present in Fodlan..."

He kept going down the halls with jars in hand, passing by Alois, and two familiar people.

The grizzled looking mercenary that he'd met back at the tavern.

And the same female sellsword that took his job in the first place, her expression being stuck on neutral as she conversed with the grizzled mercenary.

"... Are they somehow... related?" Karna thought of the two passing by him. "I see no resemblance between the two, but that's a pursuit for another time. Hopefully, this place has a teacher's lounge... with coffee that doesn't taste like boiled mud. Nevermind that two mercenaries are somehow high up on this prestigious institution..."

Karna lets out a sigh as he heads back to the Dustbin.

"Professor!"

In front of Karna, Selene approaches him in urgency.

"What's going on?" Karna asked the girl with the wing tattoo. "And what's the urgency-"

He then hears the other students from the Dustbin bursting out of the shutter doors in panic screams, which is then followed up by a sound of something collapsing.

"No no no no noNONONONO!"

Karna drops the vinegar bottle on the floor, shattering them as he took off on a sprint.

Once he reaches the shutter, standing amidst the kicked-up dust bowl, surrounded by the coughing and hacking students of the Dustbin.

Karna looks into the shutter hole, only to find it completely caved in.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Karna roared out as he fell to all of his fours. "YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! OH DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!"

"Speak for yourself!" Byron protested. "MY BOOKS ARE LOST FOREVER!"

All the students of the Dustbin all stood before the collapsed shutter hole in disbelief.

"... Well in hindsight, I kinda saw this one coming." Topaz admitted.

Vidar grunts in agreement as he scratches his bandaged head.

"Well, that doesn't change the fact that we have no classroom now." Sorcha pointed out. "That, and well, the Adrestian pricks have more reason to ridicule us even further."

Karna himself was completely lost for words as only one thought permeated in his mind.

"Just how long will my misfortunes will be prolonged?"

He's going to have to talk to Seteth, again.

"How unfortunate..." Karna groaned out as the dust begins to cease. "Well at least the worst is over-"

In front of him, a section of the stone walls of a faculty building collapses, exposing Hanneman on the other side.

"... I hate today." Karna droned out in resignation. "I want to go bed and never come back out."

To hell with Seteth. Now Rhea needs to get involved for this cacophony of a institutional logistic disaster.


To Be Continued...


Author's Notes: Yep. It's that kind of story.

Karna is basically my caricature of every unfortunate predicament that I have gone through for the past few years.

Nothing personal, but I thought it be kinda funny in hindsight.

Don't worry, that itself won't affect the story that I plan down the line, but remember, this is meant to be a comedy.

... Or at least until the timeskip, in which to those who've played the game, you know what I'm talking about.

Also, kinda spoiled myself on the Cindered Shadows DLC, and sufficed to say, I was surprised, in all the right and wrong ways.

Opinions may vary depending on personal preference.

So, what do you think of this chapter?

Will Karna continued to be the chew toy of this story? Or will he at least get a classroom by the end of the first weekend off?

Please leave a comment or a review, for I'd love to know what my audience are thinking!